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Master Bruce male Member

Winged Freak

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Very well, where do I begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.

There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

Most Recent Posts

In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Wait, everyone else knew this and you just went along with it lol


It was funnier to imagine you having written something in your own time and never posting it, but still bragging about having done it. I just thought that was the joke. Imagine my surprise.
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
...Wait a minute.

@Lord Wraith actually wrote a sex scene.

Well, the beginnings of one. But still.

Holy crap, it doesn't even make sense to make fun of anymore.
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Says Mister "I got my back broken by a roided up Rey Mysterio"


Yeah, well at least I recovered and didn't come back as a clone or an alternate reality version of myself!

In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Shit he's gonna find all my coded messages calling for a coup to steal power away from him.


I knew it!

Your immensely breakable neck and and I have a date over at the Brooklyn Bridge!
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Also, actually typing up that admission about not reading IC posts made me feel really regretful, giving me a bit of perspective of how that sounds. I'm the GM, I should be ontop of shit in the IC aswell as the OOC to make sure everything's kosher, at the very least. Or be able to provide a reference for what the current events are in-game for curious newcomers that are either thinking about applying or are out of the loop.

I apologize to all of you and am making a vow that henceforth, I shall remain up-to-date on the goings on of the game and will begin reading every post that isn't mine from the beginning right now. I won't "like" a post until I've fully read it. If I've already liked your post, you'll be getting an unlike followed by a new like.

This has been a public service announcement by Master Bruce.
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
If I don't get nominated for best sex scene.


See, now you're just inviting competition and I can't have that.

Not that... I'd know, given I just admitted to skimming posts.

...


In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
E: Also holy shit Bruce and Byrd have known each other since I was three, I feel more like a lil sprout than I usually do now, lol.


Oh dear god.



In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Also, to be clear, don't get me wrong and mistake my general anxieties about my own stuff to be apathy towards the rest of you. I mean it when I say that I'd love to sit down and read every post the minute it's made and give it it's own individual like, especially since I do read every sample and am genuinely impressed with the lot of you. I'm just very weird when it comes to stuff like that and often choose to remain focused on improving my own material to a fault.
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
You spoke more eloquently about me getting married than my own father did. So, you're good on that front.


This is a man who once declared that another man whose leg he had broken show him some karate shit.

I'm glad to be considered apart of that upper echelon.
In CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One → 6 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
So, a friend who shall remain nameless has told me that some of you see me as "intimidating" and don't feel like you can come to me with any questions, issues, advice, insert thing here. Don't feel like that. I'm a nice guy. Like, seriously.


Wow, if any of you think this guy is intimidating, you should see one of his recent profile photos on Facebook. He had a reflective mirror making his own head larger than it would normally appear. This is not a man to be feared. This is a man to mock with love.

And trust me, I've known this bastard since 2004. We've been through every imaginable up and down, up to and including him leaving my ass for some woman he went off and married. Not that I'm bitter about that or anything.
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