“Look, we don’t get many aliens so I’m just a little paranoid okay? It’s not like the Men in Black are gonna swoop in or anything.”
Koriand’r looked down the alleyway they were currently catching their breath in, as though their pursuer might meander by. “Is Lobo not a man wearing black?” She looked up too, as the mention of swooping called attention to the Gloam hawks on her planet that rather liked to divebomb her people in fruitless attempts for food. “But I should reiterate, I still do think those questions tal vez fueron demasiado invasive.”
The was a thump from above, two boots hitting the edge of the building, Lobo looking down on them with his hook in hand. The two got up and started to run for the exit. “Oh, don’t leave on my account. I’m reeeeal accommodatin’.” He leapt from his spot, just a hair too slow as he ended up behind the two as they fled down the road.
“And why are you speaking Spanish! I don’t understand Spanish!” Gar yelled, checking over his shoulder as Lobo levelled his weapon at them.
“¿Qué? ¡Wha!” Koriand’r let out a cry as a chain looped around her ankle. With a jerk, she flopped through the air, Lobo dragging her back. She flew against his pull, but with every pump of his arms she got closer and closer. Her starbolts didn’t do anything but momentarily obscure parts of her vision.
Going ape, Garfield’s four limbs tore across the hot asphalt, two silverback arms slamming right into Lobo’s chest. Bracing against him, Lobo didn’t even budge, slamming his forehead down. It hit the leathery hide of an elephant, Garfield raising his tusks to catch under his shoulders and lift him from the ground. Thrusting his elbows into Garfield’s face and eyes to little noticeable effect, he growled, “Are you a keezy martian? You’re one rock too far and way to deep in my fraggin’ business!” Throwing his hook aside, he raised his fists and slammed them down, Garfield staggering. He lurched his head, tossing Lobo down unceremoniously, the bounty hunter clumsily standing, letting out a few choice curse words as he watched Koriand’r disentangle herself from his chain. In the foreground, Garfield’s size shifted again as he turned into a striped tyrannosaurus rex. Planting his hand on his hips, Lobo sneered, “Try me, bastiche.” Toothy maw wrenching down, Garfield bit down and lifted Lobo up, shaking him like a dog might a favored chew toy. Curling to the side, he whipped his body, flinging Lobo down the road, the man crashing through a window into a 7/11.
“Yeah, how’s that for size?!” Garfield laughed with a smug look. Koriand’r floated to his side while Lobo stood from the wreckage without a scratch on him. Garfield deflated.
“He has proven quite invulnerable, and as long as he has his astronave, no puede escapar.”
“Something something you can’t escape, okay...well shit what do we do then?” Daring to take a few steps towards Lobo, Garfield dared, “Hey big boy, what’s with the made up words? ¿No habla ingles?”
“That’s Lobo to you kid: the Main Man. And guess what? All words are made up.”
“...Touché.”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” Reaching out, he pulled a streetlight from the ground with a gut wrenching groan, the metal crumpling under his hands. Pulling it back much like as if he were holding a baseball bat, once in the air its circular motion was more like a boomerang. Garfield managed to avoid being a deer in the headlights for just long enough to duck. Koriand’r took it in her arms, twirling with it before her foot found purchase on the ground. She pivoted, the streetlight flung right back at Lobo. It bent against his frame in a way Garfield must have seen in Looney Tunes. He was half expecting Lobo to pick it up and twist into a balloon animal, but instead he brushed it off like it were a chunk of dirt.
“You should be more careful: there are people of your world still here.” Garfield looked around at her words, seeing a car that had tried to pass by the jammed traffic empty itself like so many before it, a pair of men running off. In the crushed front of the building Lobo had come from, a terrified looking store owner gawked at the unfolding scene in horror. Giving the girl a look of aw and respect, Garfield gave a nod, before calling, “Throw me at him! Just don’t let me spin or I’ll get dizzy.”
Koriand’r’s eyes widened as he leapt at her, shifting to the form of a turtle in its shell. Pulling her arm back, she let him loose at the steadily approaching Lobo. He waved his heavy arm to swat him aside, only for him to slow his motion as he shrunk in size, the arm going wide. A small dart frog stuck to Lobo’s face, his red eye glaring down at the green amphibian before his tongue whipped out and smacked him in the eye. “Gah! You Earth bastiches are really-” Garfield turned into a cobra, striking Lobo’s nose and latching on, his long form wriggling. “Annoyink.” Trying and failing to grab at the flailing snake, his grunts turned into growls before he finally found his grip, yanking him off.
Koriand’r leapt in at that exact moment, her fist knocking Lobo square on the nose. Garfield slipped from his grip, landing as a dormouse before turning human once again. Lobo flipped end over end, landing on his front a meter or so away. Massaging his jaw, cobra fangs unable to pierce Lobo, Garfield admitted, “Well, if poison doesn’t work then I’m out of ideas.”
Getting back to his feet, Lobo’s smile was gone. “Good, cuz’ I’m bored.” Garfield felt a mixture of relief and fear, unsure of where to settle. Lobo decided for him, sticking two fingers in his mouth and letting loose a shrill whistle. There was a following silence, the three waiting in standstill.
“Last chance to kiss your keisters goodbye and come quietly.” The revving of an engine could be heard from the next block over.
“Even if my fate is inevitable, I refuse to give in to you.” Koriand’r took a fighting stance. Matching her mood, Garfield took the shape of a cheetah, baring his fangs in a growl.
The space bike pulled up to his side, the eyes facing down his quarry. Without looking, he reached for a long side compartment. “Your funeral.” The blade of a knife stuck out Lobo turning to see as his hand had failed to cleanly grasp what he’d been looking for, only for the knife to lodge itself between his teeth, point jabbing towards his throat. Grabbing at the blade while a bunch of muffled curses flow, the compartment opened, as did the one on the other side, an array of guns and blades floating out and training themselves on Lobo. A black energy enshrouded each and every one of them. Yanking the knife out and getting to his knees, he looked between them, trying to find a the head responsible so he could smash it to a pulp.
“Nice bike. What sound do you think it’ll make when I have it rip through the hole I’m about to make in your stomach?” Garfield’s heart leapt as he saw Rachel. “Don’t be too excited to see me. I don’t care about the girl, I’m just here to protect my investment.”
“Yeah, me too. You ain’t special.”
“Uh, maybe we try diplomacy?”
Koriand’r looked between her aggressor and her fresh faced savior. “With whom?”
“...Gooood question.”