FaithfulMuse
CitrusArms
LimeTime966
Villamvihar
Shadow Dragon
twave
BrokenPromise
Noctis
Majoraa.
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The universe you may know is theorized to be one of many. A vast array of timelines and alternative worlds reaching out ad infinitum. Even the slightest change or choice can create a new branch, or destroy it all the same. Regrets aside, if one were to traverse in between without any preparation or experience, they can find themselves lost. In Space, and in Time.
So of course there had to be someone to keep THAT balance in check too, to oversee the progress of even the most strange parallels. In a space where the turning of gears and the ticking of clocks broke a dead silence, A woman in red paced to and fro upon one of the few platforms within. She had been waiting for the right time, nay, to see if she'd be needed to salvage whatever she could out of an obviously certain reality. That or to just purge the damn place, who knows? Things were running on a snail's pace and she was bored as hell. The woman groaned. "Ugh, maybe I can just pay a quick visit?? Not like I'll be able to spice things up but, hey." She'd say to no one in particular. Maybe she could say a quick "Howdy'do!" to the Witches? Nah, there was a reason they avoided talking about her. Maybe she could provoke one of the factions and see what ticks? Then again, that could be a deathwish depending on who it is specifically.
Maybe she can toy with that half-blind fella?
...Definitely not. Well, maybe.
The woman groaned again. "God damnit, there's gotta be something I can work with! I'm getting tired of waiting!!" Despite her frustration, she thought through it some more before shaking her head in resignation. "Might as well be someone's problem for a minute." With a shrug, she summoned her weapon in hand, and set off to find one of the only other people with full knowledge on the multiverse.
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Deep in the biomechanical bowels of her labyrinthian lab, Doctor Nykannis was gazing into the bubbling depths of her retro-regenerative resurrection well, in which hung suspended a steadily growing humanoid figure. The swirling energies of no less than seven hyper dimensional metaphysical aetheric numiosphere accelerator matrixes infused the gestating being with untold levels of transcendent power, while living strands of cosmic string knitted together its various ultra and hyper dimensional components on a sub quantum level. “Mmm… Looks like you’re progressing rather nicely,” the Monarch of Mad Science noted approvingly. “Should be finished right on schedule,” she added with a satisfied nod. “Now I think I’ll check up on my little pet project… See how she’s coming along…”
Regardless of whether or not the Woman in Red decided to be stealthy in her arrival, she had no doubt that Nykannis would take notice. With a *fwoop!*, she had teleported inside the Lab-yrinth. A dimension man-made by the will of one, such was a curious sight to behold. She decided to look around for a bit, taking care not to mishandle or break anything.
No sooner had Nykannis settled into her comfortable command throne, then she was alerted to the presence of an intruder… “What the hell?!” she snapped, as she activated a holodisplay. “Who do we have here?” she mused as she gazed upon the rather mundane-looking woman simply strolling around her lab with no particular purpose in mind. Since she hadn’t appeared directly before Nykannis, it was highly likely that the woman was here for sabotage, or at the very least, espionage, but then, why wasn’t she moving with haste? Although she obviously had access to incredible power, if she was able to enter The Lab in the first place, she also had to know that she would be discovered almost immediately, right? Perhaps she actually thought she could viably oppose the Monarch of Mad Science in her own Lab, but if so, she was VERY mistaken…
As the woman continued her meandering exploration, she would hear an annoyed voice call out from behind her. “Ya know, I’m starting to think anyone and their dog can get into this place. If you wanted a tour, you could have just sent a request.”
"I'm more of a cat person. Besides, I doubt you'd be that willing to let someone visit unless it's for business." The woman in red calmly replied back, turning around to the annoyed source. With her she carried a blade shaped to look like a clock hand, but decided it wasn't needed until she decided to leave, so she simply dispelled it. She gave a casual smile. Designation: Monarch, AKA Doctor Nykannis. Glad to see you haven't been killed off yet."
“You’d be surprised,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “I rather enjoy showing off my work to people who can actually understand it. And exactly what do you think is even capable of killing me?” she asked with a contemptuous scowl. “More importantly, just who the hell are you supposed to be anyway? The big sister of that one bitch who used to work for Justine?”
"Who knows? I'm mainly talking about the Grand Magstrates deciding to dispose of you for some reason or another. Doubt it though, you're pretty interesting." The woman shrugged. Though at the nod to one of Justine's old cronies, her smile faded. "See that's one reason why I'm hesitant in joining the little pow-wow in Penrose. I know that reality has had several instances of two Champions having the same...Facade? Can't think of a proper name for it, but still, I'd like to avoid something like THAT. I don't even have a dialogue color yet." She grimaced for a second. "As for who I am? I doubt the title of Witch of Time applies to me anymore, I'm mainly known as the Exodus of Time... or you can just call me Jennifer. Whatever keeps your boat afloat." She had a bit of a tired look as she introduced herself.
“I doubt it too,” Nykannis agreed. “Especially considering the fact they found me so interesting is the main reason they even allowed me to stay in their stupid reality plenum in the first place. So, Jenny, what made you think breaking into my Lab uninvited was such a good idea?”
"I'm bored and I crave chaos." Jennifer answered bluntly.
"That and it was either visit you or visit Designation: Ouroboros, or Oros as you know her. And since the neighboring reality only allows one Champion at a time, reasonable, honestly, I figured I'd have to be your problem for a bit." She explained further, a hand resting on her hip. "But yeah, mostly boredom."
“Well, fuck… Did I lose the lottery, or what? First Oros, and now you… Hell, if you stick around long enough, you might actually bump into her, though why the fuck you’d want that to happen is anyone’s guess. Anyway, if you’re not here to fuck with things, then I suppose I could give you a little tour… What did you want to see first?”
At Nykannis' reaction, Jennifer slightly frowned. "Sorry, I guess. Though better me than her, huh?" she tilted her head.
“You can say that again,” Nykannis chuckled.
"I'm fine with seeing whatever first though! And erm, perhaps find something that can give me a different Facade while we're at it?" The witch looked herself over, before looking back to the scientist.
“You want me to change what you look like?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, I could do that in my sleep, but, uh, do you have any preferences for the ‘new you’, or do you want me to get creative?”
"I mean, if I'm gonna AT LEAST visit Penrose once or twice, I don't want people to think Minnie's been resurrected or some shit." Jennifer held a fist under her chin. "Though I do want to be able to switch between looks, kinda like how a Disguise Artifact works, yeah? As for preference-wise..." She folded her hands behind her with a smile, but her furrowed brows could give off a subtle warning if one assumed. "I'll put my faith in your judgement.
“Well, being able to adapt is easy enough, and rather practical, too,” Nykannis agreed. “I’ll just infuse you with a metamorphic overlay, but as for the new form, I’ve got three initial choices. First, we have the ‘Loli’ option, guaranteed to make Oros invite you over to her new home, regardless of its Grand Magistrate’s stupid restrictions. Then we have the more mature option, perfect for garnering respect, and making people who aren’t into little kids fall head over heals for you. Finally, there’s this, and although it’s my personal favorite, it just might cause you even more trouble than your current look. Of course, if you like them all, there’s no reason we can’t incorporate all three. That way you can pick the right appearance for whatever situation you may find yourself in. So, what do you think?”
"Hmm...You do make a good point." Jennifer nodded with a grin. "Utilizing all three 'guises can prove useful if anyone gets suspicious of me and tries hunting my ass down. To kill or likewise." The witch looked over her three options again. "Gotta say, they're all pretty charming. BUT!" She looked at the third option. "This is more my style! Troubles aside, I see why you like it!"
“Well, you know what they say about great minds,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “All right, well, if you’re satisfied, I guess we can go ahead and apply the overlay right… Now!”
With that, a swirling swarm of nanites swiftly weaved a form-fitting shell of morphic energy particles over Jennifer, which, upon completion, fully melded to her metaphysical structure, creating an indelible link to her very soul.
“There, that didn’t take long, now did it?” Nykannis asked with a grin. “I trust you’re pleased with the results?”
The time witch looked over her new disguise with a grin. "Oh yeah, now we're cookin'!" She cackled. Though something crossed her mind, and her expression blanked out. "Guess I should repay the favor huh?" She asked Nykannis.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” Nykannis inquired, still a little unsure of how much Jennifer was actually capable of.
"Glad you asked!" Jennifer continued to grin a Cheshire's grin. "As you've probably guessed Witches, in terms of Penrose's reality are master sorcerers. We've got every magic specialization down to a T, even Oddballs for the rarer cases!" She explained. No longer content in staying in one place, the witch paced around. "Though uh, we still have to follow the Grand Magstrate's rules here and limit ourselves unless it's an emergency. That or adapt. Like if some Greater Horror decides to try and eat a universe we're working in while it's still alive or some shit. Eh, just means more mana for us to use!" She chuckled.
"As for myself, I'm sort of an overseer type for the multiverse. I mainly intervene if something, anomaly or not, tries to tamper with the natural progression of the timeline. As far as anyone's concerned, I do not exist. But I can give and get you info. Knowledge on anyone or anything you're curious about. Can also help speed up one of your experiments if you need to help." She turned back to the scientist. "That or I can get you supplies from some of the dead universes."
“How very interesting…” Nykannis noted with a grin of her own. “I already have most of what I need in order to complete my various projects, but knowledge is always appreciated, especially if it has to do with multiversal facets my interdimensional viewer can’t access. Although… I suppose there is one other thing you could assist me with…” she added with a thoughtful nod. “Since you’re obviously one of the big shots of this particular multiversal cluster, I’d like to study you a bit, find out just how powerful you really are. Then I’ll be able to apply that knowledge to Phase Two, or any of my others projects, for that matter. It wouldn’t hurt, of course,” she hastened to clarify. “And it won’t take more than half a second, so what do you say? Would that be doable?”
"Half a second?" the time witch asked. "Here I was assuming you'd be testing my prowess in combat, or the limits of my time magic. But I'm cool with this if it saves any trouble." She said, stretching her arms up over her head.
When Jennifer raised her hands, Nykannis raised an eyebrow. “What the hell? You, uh, you don’t need to do that. Or anything, really. Like I said, this won’t take but a moment, and it’ll tell me everything I’d learn from seeing you in combat and then some. Besides, fighting you here, the only place where I’m still virtually omnipotent, wouldn’t be all that fair, now would it?” she added with a smirk. “Now then, let’s get started…”
With that, several nanofluidic tendrils, each tipped with a different bizarre technomystic apparatus rose up around the time witch. An instant later, they bathed her in streams of prismatic energy as the data accumulation beams went to work gathering every conceivable (and inconceivable) aspect of information pertaining to her vast history, her equally vast powerset, her mental, physical, and metaphysical make up, and so forth. And, true to Nykannis’s word, the process was utterly painless, and was over in less than a second.
“Thanks, that should do nicely,” Nykannis said with a satisfied nod. “So, how about that tour?”
"I didn't need to stretch?" Jennifer watched as the tendrils made literal quick work in gathering info, letting her arms rest behind her head. Once it was finished as quick as it started, Nykannis had reminded her about the offered tour. "Oh right, lead the way!"
“What would you like to see first?” Nykannis asked as the roughly circular area they were standing on detached to form a floating platform. “There’s my legion of biomechanical titans, my armada of interstellar, transdimensional warships, my various power accumulators, Rupee… Oh, but if cute things are more your style, then perhaps the petting zoo would be the best place to start.”
The time witch looked around. "Well the titans do sound neat right n- WAITAMINUTE." Her eyes widened once she made sure what she heard was correct. "You're telling me you have a petting zoo, HERE??" Jennifer looked back to Nykannis with curiosity.
“Of course!” Nykannis confirmed. “I mean, what kind of mad scientist would I be if I celebrated the completion of a grand project without a fluffy little thing in my lap?”
The jovial girl's eyes lit up, and she began to bounce in place from excitement. "Then the hell are we waiting for?! Let's get going!"
Making use of a few convenient portals, it wasn’t long before the floating platform reached the “petting zoo”.
“Allow me to introduce you to some little friends of mine,” Nykannis said as she stepped over to a large, bubble-like chamber, filled with thousands of bizarre creatures, which seemed to warp the fabric of reality itself as they moved around. “Adorable, aren’t they?” the mad scientist asked as she reached into the forcefield bubble and grabbed an armful of the creatures. “I’m told most evil overlords prefer cats, but fuck that noise. These are the perfect companions for a mad scientist supreme,” she declared, while depositing the strange little fur balls on a large floating table. “And I’d know, since I made them all myself! Nyahahaha!”
"Hm. I get that." The time witch nodded, then turned her attention to the peculiar fluff-balls moving around on the table. "Heheh. Funky little dudes." She laid her arms on the surface of the table, and lowered her head to look at the creations more closely.
“Yeah, I’m kinda partial to this blue guy with the eyestalk,” Nykannis noted, scooping the creature up. “But they all have their unique quirks and oddities. Charm points, if you will. Like these guys with the springs coming out of the bottom of ‘em, or this little wormy guy here… He really likes to travel and explore new places. Just look at him go… Phasing though the others and everything. Y’know,” she added after a moment. “Speaking of going to new places, it’s not really all that hard to visit Esper World. You just have to find the right loopholes, and pick the right time. So what if the Grand Magistrate of that particular reality plenum has a limit on the number of Patron Champions that can reside there? You’re not one of those anyway, so I figure you can go wherever the hell you want. As for the timing, well… Let’s just say it's best to be discreet. Visit someone when they’re alone, when nothing else is going on. Then, you can just pass yourself off as a simple hallucination, a voice inside their head, a figment of their imagination. Shouldn’t be too hard,” she added with a smirk. “After all, as far as your pal Oros is concerned, we’re all figments of someone’s imagination. Speaking of Oros,” she added. “She thinks she’s sooo special with that stupid sword of hers. Y’know, the one that lets her read Patron Observable Event Transcripts? Well, it may make her nearly omniscient, but there’s a big fucking difference between ‘nearly’ and ‘completely’. See, unlike a universe’s Akashic records, the Grand Magistrate’s records don’t include everything that’s ever happened in their reality plenum, just the ‘important’ stuff, the stuff that helps them create an interesting narrative.” At this point the colorful worm-like creature had reached the end of the table, only to be teleported back to the other side, where it continued its little journey. “To better illustrate what I’m getting at, let me tell you about a certain multiverse I once came across in my travels. It was less of a reality plenum, and more of a worldline continuum, but the main thing is it was home to a particularly powerful eldritch entity. This thing could tank the full power of multiple deities and not even notice it was under attack. It destroyed whole universes by singing a children’s lullaby. And it also seemingly had the power to alter history. ‘Seemingly’ being the key word here, as it didn’t so much rewrite history as add to it. Remember how I mentioned the Grand Magistrate wanted to create an interesting narrative? Well, what about the uninteresting parts? The parts that happen off panel, off screen, off page? The in-between places? It’s kinda like the Observer Effect. I know you’re familiar with that. Basically, as far as this entity was concerned, observed history couldn’t be altered, but unobserved history? That was its own personal playground. It would ‘fill in the blanks’, mold unrecorded events to suit its whims. As long as something wasn’t explicitly stated to have or have not happened, it could make things unfold however it wanted. That’s the key to beating the Grand Magistrates, and more importantly, to beating Oros. If she can’t read it, she won’t know about it, at least, not before it's too late to matter…”
Jennifer hummed in thought as she listened to Nykannis' ramblings. Even if her focus seemed primarily on the little creatures that roamed the flat surface, she was simply in thought. She lifted her upper arms up and folded her hands together, resting her chin on them. After the other girl was done talking, then she added her two cents.
"Y'know she might be spying in on us now, right?" She chuckled. "Anyways, it can't exactly be helped that a Grand Magistrate would focus more on the plot than the side stories, gotta have SOMETHING done before the reality meets it's ever-reaching demise. Though one does fancy a bit of worldbuilding from time to time. Why'd you think the other Witches and a bit of Maura's group got introduced? Or hell, my coming to visit you can be considered a side-plot to spice things up!" Though she paused as she realized something. "Oh right, you probably don't know Maura besides a passing mention. I do know you met her two magical boys though! My condolences. Anyways, if you're talking about screwing with say, Designation: Pinnochio, then...hm...I'd have to think on it. Part of me would rather let him take his piece of the spotlight, than to try for a pointless encore, y'know? Then again we ended up with two of him at once." The time witch mumbled the last sentence, before continuing.
"The existence of Endless Eclipse is a slight concern though. I know Oros was brought in to be the fucking Deadpool of the group, but...say someone else got their hands on that level of clarvoyancy. Say, someone weak-minded, or yet to slip into hellish madness. What would they do with that knowledge? What kind of Pandora's Box would be unleashed unto that world? I know my power's kind of on the same vein, but not only did it take eternity to get on this level, but at least they'd have to pry my goddamn eye out first."
“Well, for one thing, this little conversation hasn’t been entered into the Grand Magistrate’s records yet,” Nykannis noted with a smirk. “So while I’m sure she’ll eventually find out about it, she won’t do it in time to actually effect anything, that is, in the hypothetical case of us plotting something against her. As for all that ‘plot importance’ shit, I really couldn’t care less who has the spotlight. In fact, I prefer to work ‘behind the scenes’. You have more freedom that way. And I wouldn’t be too concerned about anyone else getting their hands on Endless Eclipse. That thing’s bound to Oros on a metaphysical/metafictional level. And as for you, most people have no idea you even exist. You could slip into Esper World and fuck with Fable, give him advice, or whatever the hell you want, and most people, time boy included, would just pass you off as nothing more than a fucking fever dream. You want chaos? Just mess with people’s minds. A subtle voice in the back of your head is a lot more powerful and insidious than some world-breaking demigoddess. Trust me,” she added with a maniacal grin. “I’d know.”
"Hmm...you make a good point. Again." Jennifer glanced back at the table. She poked one of the creatures. "So now what?"
“Well, you said you wanted to see the titans, right?” Nykannis replied as she stepped back onto the transport disc, while still gently petting the small creature she was holding. “We can head over there now, and these little guys can come with us,” she added, as the table floated along behind her.
It wouldn’t be long before they caught sight of the vast, mountainous wall of cybermantic technowombs, each bubbling and pulsing as a gargantuan biomechanical engine of destruction grew within.
“These guys were pretty badly damaged in the conflict that forced me to seek the aid of this particular reality plenum’s Grand Magistrate,” Nykannis explained. “In fact, I had to regrow a large number of them from scratch,” she added. “And to ensure the survivors fare better in their rematch, I decided to make them even larger, among other improvements.”
"Larger, huh?" Jennifer looked up at the titans. "You made sure to up the defenses around the lower body, right? Large as they are it'd be a damn waste for some vagabond to trip them for an easy win." She shook her head. Something did catch her ear though.
"Wait, rematch? You considering revenge or something?" She asked. "What'd you do that warranted an escape to here anyways?"
“I’m always considering revenge,” Nykannis replied with a maniacal grin. “As for what I did, well, it was really nothing more than what I always do- push beyond boundaries. Let’s just say I went where others didn’t want me to go, and saw what others didn’t want me to see. I ‘overstepped my bounds’, so THEY decided to erase me from existence. Needless to say, THEY failed, and soon that failure is gonna come back to bite them in the metaphorical ass,” she added, while gazing up at the looming form of the nearest titan. “And yeah, you’d better believe I upped these guys’ defenses, although even without ‘em, you’d have to be the size of a mountain yourself to trip them up. Besides, they have full teleportation and counter-gravity capability, so they don’t even need to walk anywhere. Impressed yet?” she asked with a smug smirk.
"Hah! If I wasn't impressed, I wouldnt've been curious now, would I?" The time witch looked back to Nykannis with a grin of her own. "Though from what I'm hearing, seems we're in a similar boat, you and I." She noted, arms crossed.
“You don’t say?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “So what’s keeping you from going wherever you please? Clockroaches? Pesky Timelords? The TVA? That last one was a joke, by the way.”
At the question tossed back to her, Jennifer's smile faltered. "Well it wouldn't be fun if we learned my past this early, wouldn't it?" She tried to joke. After a brief pause, she looked back up to the titans. "But really even I haven't figured it out yet. I do think it had to do with me pursuing forbidden methods of time magic back in my original timeline. Y'know how in Penrose, time travel is seen as impossible, yet the 'perk' of being Void-Touched exists? Yeah, that didn't really stop me and my stubborn stupidity. It costed me alot. I flew too close to the sun, and got locked out."
With a frown, she glanced aside. "I got erased. Or as far as I was concerned, everyone I knew turned out better off without me. I know I was nothing but a fucking joke, but come on! Was I really that bad to the point of hindering progress??" Her frown broke into a scowl, before she shook her head to recollect herself. "BUT I've learned to focus on the positives of my predicament. I was free. I didn't have to hold myself back, repress how I felt anymore! I could do whatever I wanted, travel anywhere I wanted, unbound by moral restraints!!" With a maniacal cackle, she spun to face Nykannis, arms spread out.
"I thought I was alone, but I never was! For I have TIME ITSELF WITH ME!! People may be fickle, but with Time, I AM A GOD!!!" A manic grin. The time witch quickly realized how she might've looked, and calmed down, clearing her throat. "Sincerest apologies. Lost my cool for a moment there."
“Huh.” Nykannis observed. “Yeah, one of the Grand Magistrate’s big rules for this reality plenum is ‘no time travel’, but it sounds like getting ‘banished’ opened up a whole multiverse for you to explore, and then some. I’d kill to have that kind of freedom again! After all, what the hell do you think all this is for?!” she asked, spreading her arms to encompass the monolithic mountain range of cyberwombs, as well as the tens of thousands of moon-sized meganaughts and hypernaughts floating overhead. “I should be out there, exploring and conquering the myriad infinites, but instead I’m stuck here, kowtowing to small-minded magistrates and building fetishistic playthings for…” the mad scientist’s voice trailed off as an idea occurred to her. “Y’know, I just thought of something else you can help me with,” she noted with a twisted grin. “I’ve got an upcoming meeting with a certain pink-haired pervert, and in the event of that lunatic deciding she wants to fight me in my favorite restaurant, I’d like you to step in and mollify her, or at the very least distract her while I find another way of resolving the situation. You think you can do that?”
"Oh yeah, she dragged you into that not-date thing." Jennifer held a finger up to her chin, then nodded. "Yeah, since you've put up with me this long, I guess I do owe you a solid. Could probably grab you something that'd help you escape in a blink if it comes down to that."
“Glad to hear it,” Nykannis replied with a grin. “But I won’t be escaping,” she corrected. “I refuse to concede even a nanometer of ground to that bitch. I just need a way of occupying her easily-manipulated attention. Although it would be cool if you could actually convince her to give up on whatever annoyingly inconvenient stupidity she might have planned. With that in mind, make sure you come in your loli form,” the mad scientist instructed. “She has a… thing for that particular body type. It’ll hopefully make her more receptive to whatever you have to say.”
A tired look again. The time witch couldn't help but sigh. "Right. But if she tries anything funny with me I'm punting her into the wall." The innocuous masquerade would prove useful in letting people's guard down, but still. Ew.
Nykannis snorted in amusement. “That I would love to see.”
The pair continued to chat and tour the vast technoscape a while longer, but eventually, it came time for Jennifer to depart. After the Witch of Time had returned to wherever and whenever it was she called home, Nykannis had decided to return to what she’d been doing before being interrupted by her uninvited guest. Settling into her comfy command throne and activating her interdimensional viewer’s panoramic display, the Monarch of Mad Science grinned as she gently pet the small creature she was still carrying. “Now… Let’s see how our little Ashley’s doing…”
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..
.
“Wow… That was certainly a stroke of luck, just happening to meet the perfect girl to distract Oros, right before you needed said distraction in the first place.”
“I hardly think ‘luck’ had anything to do with it,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “Jen’s the Witch of Time. Odds are, she already knew when Oros would be dropping by, so she decided to be preemptive. Smart move, I gotta admit. Smart girl in general,” she added. “It’s not often I get to chat with someone possessed of an intellect so close to my own level, so I cherish the opportunities when I find them. Plus, she’s a hell of a lot more pleasant to be around than Oros, that’s for sure…”
“Yeah, she seems pretty fun,” Kate agreed. “I’d love to meet her sometime,” she added with a grin.
“Something tells me you’ll get the chance sooner or later,” Nykannis replied, ignoring the photographer’s obvious pun. “If she’s as bored as I am, she won’t be content with just two visits. Besides, something occurred during our little powwow with Oros that I think she’ll be rather interested in.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I noticed a familiar chronometric signature enter the reality plenum for a brief moment before noping the hell out. Not that I blame him,” she added with a derisive snort. “This place is a fucking train wreck on the best of days. ANYWAY, speaking of reality plenums, wanna join me in watching a few?”
“Sure. Like I said, I’ve got plenty of time to hang out.”
“Enough with the time puns already… Fuck, you’re almost as bad as that cheap Penny knockoff we met at the party…”
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop,” Kate reassured the mad scientist with a chuckle as they took their seats in front of the interdimensional viewer’s massive display. “So, what are we gonna watch?”
“Hmmm…” Nykannis murmured as she flipped through various universes as though she were changing channels on a tv. “Well, looks like Ashley’s still recovering from her visit to Justin’s funhouse, Olivia and her new friends are fighting a spectral storm cloud Pageless, Team 3’s battling a giant robot… Well now, what’s this?! Oh, this is great! Sarah and Stephanie are about to fight Draygon, and discover his true identity! Can you imagine the delicious emotional anguish that’s gonna generate?!”
“Yeah, you always did love drama,” Kate noted wryly. “But maybe we could watch something a little more lighthearted,” she suggested. “Y’know, something comedic?”
“Fine…” Nykannis conceded with an annoyed sigh. “I think I know just the thing…”
That’s ME!!!
-Stacy
That’s ALSO me!
-Stacy
Huh? Who turned off the lights? Stacy wondered groggily. She could vaguely make out a distorted voice giving instructions, a voice which grew louder and more distinct with each passing second.
“PerFECT! N-ow, M-ove thE oTHER appenDAGE a little to thE LEft…”
Slowly opening her eyes, Stacy was greeted with the sight of her various body parts being arranged in different positions around a large chamber by several hovering, gold-plated spheroid robots. In particular, her arms were being hung upon a far wall, and appeared to be engaged in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Meanwhile, one of her legs was apparently being employed to serve as a stand for an eldritch lampshade.
“Hey! I remember that movie!” Stacy exclaimed with an excited grin. “That’s the one where that kid in the orphanage loses that sled signed by Victor Lazlo, right?!”
“AH Ha! I see you have now REgained consCIOUSness, chiLD,” the voice declared. “Y-OU, who dARED to set foot WITHin the gilDED palACE of BlorlOnEOUS BloorthEO, Grand High MerCHANT L’ORD of the EterNAL HalCyOnian EmPIRE! I know not the rEason for your unINvited intruSION, but, sINCE I hAVE BEcome wELL A-ware that you are capABLE of SURviving WITHout the use of your interNAL orGANS, I THought it a mOST fitTING punISHment to add you to thE collecTION, DISplayed hERE, in my inNER sancTUM’s art gallERY!”
“Wow! That sounds crazy cool!” Stacy marveled. “Like, for a moment there, I thought I was havin’ a flashback to when Doc Zinestine was putting me back together after my little ‘accident’! It was super weird, just like this! See, one moment, I was walking to school, and the next thing I knew, I was in this crazy cool lab with this crazy cool scientist guy, and I was like, ‘Hey! Can I be the beautiful lab assistant who gets to say ‘It’s ALIVE!’ and all that stuff?!’, but he was like, ‘No! You’re actually the monster!’ Talk about a plot twist! So, anyways, I was like, ‘For reals?!’, and he was like, ‘YES! Just look in this mirror thing!’, and then I was like—”
“Si-LENCE!” Bloortheo bellowed. “I hAVE choSEN to spARE you L-ife, in orDER that yOU may be interrOgated forthWITH! N-OW! I DEmand tO know wHY yOU cAME hERE!”
“Oh, uh, full discosure? I have no idea. I mean, Doc Zinestine probably had a really important reason for sending me here, and I think he might have been telling me about it a little while ago, but I wasn’t really paying attention to him, ‘cause I just got this super cool new game on my phone, where ya help these cute little robot bird things fight against these mutant pig guys, and… Oh! I just remembered something! So, if my body parts are all over there, where’s my head at right now?!”
“IMbecilic chiLD! I have choSEN to pLACE your CONtemptible craNIum U-pon a statUette of an AbaloTHEian abunDANcy danCER, which yOU decaPItated durING your unINvited entRY!”
“Oh wow! I gotta see this!”
Straining for a moment, Stacy’s head shuddered as her sole remaining eye bulged out, before popping free from its socket to roll in front of her. Now able to clearly observe her predicament, the ditzy girl gave voice to a delighted squeal. “OMG! I look like one of those bobble head things! This is too cool! And, like, holy crap! Is that you?!” she asked, upon noticing the bulbous golden visage looming over her. “You’re SO freakishly BIG! Totally not judging here, but have you ever thought about going on a diet? ‘Cause I’ve heard that the grainless diet is super good at helping you lose—”
“Si-LENCE!” Bloortheo roared. “You wILL tELL me what I wISH tO knOw, or I sHALL—”
“Ooooh! What’s that crazy lookin’ glowy thing over there?!” she asked as a crystalline polyhedron covered in shimmering circuitry glyphs caught her eye. “It looks kinda familiar… Say! Do ya think I might have ever seen it before sometime?!”
“Ah HAH ha! SO, your purPOSE is nOW REvealed! I should hAVE knOWN it was tHIS you S-ought!”
“Oh wow! You really think so?! That’s so cool! So… uh, what is it, anyway?”
“T-HIS, my PAtheTIC chiLD, is none oTHER tHAN thE BIphasIC B-RAIN of XoZOOTH thE XorCERer, thE greaTEST polYmathaMAgician of tHEM all!”
Stacy gasped at this revelation. “No way! That guy?! For reals?! I mean, I have no idea who that is, but he sounds crazy important! So, uh, did he perform at birthdays, or somethin? ‘Cause my birthday’s comin’ up soon, and I was really hoping I’d get to have a magician come to my party and make those super cute balloon animals! Y’know, like plankton and parameciums and stuff?! Like, I asked my friend Ramona if she could do that kinda stuff, and she was like, ‘I don’t make balloons, I pop them’, and, I mean, that’s super fun too, but, like, how can ya pop them when they don’t even exist yet, y’know? So, anyways, if that is what Doc Zinestine wanted me to get, then why’d ya put me so close to it?”
“PiTIful foo-EL! You are UtTERly helpLESS! I hAVE, of COURse PREvented you from moVING your appendAGES, by pLACing each OF them in a staSIS FI-eld!”
Stacy grit her teeth as she attempted to wiggle just one finger, but no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn’t budge an inch. “Huh, well that sucks…” she noted with a frown.
“AH ha! AH ha!” Bloortheo chortled. “Do yOU nOw sEE?! YoU sHALL nOT bE sTealing anYthing, nOR SHall yOU bE resCUed, fOR nONe cAN enTER my innERmost sancTUM, UNless I aLLOW it!”
“How right you are,” an amused voice agreed.
“Hey! I know that voice!” Stacy exclaimed as she bounced her eye back into its socket in time to see a shadowy form extend from her lamp stand leg to pool in the center of the floor. A moment later, the dark puddle rose up into the smirking form of a dark-haired young woman with piercing red eyes. “Ramona!” the patchwork girl cheered, a big grin spreading across her face.
“WhAt is thE meanING of thIS?!” Bloortheo bellowed. “H-OW did yOU get IN hERE?!”
“The same way Stacy did,” Ramona replied. “I bonded myself to her shadow,” she explained. “Not the most pleasant experience by any means, but as you can see, it got the job done.”
With a flick of her wrist, the shadowy sorceress deactivated the stasis fields binding all of Stacy’s myriad body parts in place, allowing her patchwork pal accomplice to regain full control over them once more.
“Wow, thanks!” Stacy told her totally-not-friend, before her head, torso, and various appendages flew into the center of the room, where they began reassembling themselves, although not without some mistakes…
“Your head’s on backwards,” Ramona noted in a dry deadpan. “And so is your right foot.”
“I was wonderin’ why everything seemed a bit off!” Stacy replied with a giggle as she readjusted herself. “There! That should do it!”
“Now, let’s get down to business,” Ramona declared with a wicked smirk. “Fatty, your voice is an affront to my eardrums, and I should just stick your bloated carcass in a chamber of eternal torment, but since I’m feeling uncommonly generous, I’m willing to make a deal. Give us the brain, and I promise we’ll leave peacefully. Otherwise, things will become decidedly more unpleasant.”
“Wow, so we really are tryin’ to steal that weird glowy thing? Sweet!”
“H-OW dARE yOU?! H-OW dARE yOU utTER sUCH efFRONtery tO mE, in my O-wn sancTUM, nO less!”
“What better place is there?” Ramona asked with a cocky sneer. “You’ve got the best security in the nine unified galaxies surrounding this place, but inside it, you’re completely helpless. It’s actually rather pathetic.”
“Ah HAH ha! FooLISH chILdren! A-mong thE reLICs CONtained hereIN, are thE trapPINGs of my priOR L-ife, and as yOU shAll nOW witNESS, it is indEed a gloRIous THing, to bE a PiRATE K-ING!”
Reaching a segmented limb under his desk, Bloortheo produced a small gold and jewel encrusted chest, which, in a blur of mechanical motion, swiftly reconfigured itself into an enormous energy cannon.
“N-OW!” the merchant lord declared as his massive weapon began to charge with destructive power. “D-IE!”
“Wow! That’s, like, super crazy cool!” Stacy exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with excitement. “But I’ve got something even cooler!” she added as a crackling orb of energy manifested between her hands. “Check this out!”
Seeing the size of Bloortheo’s weapon, and, perhaps even more worrying, Stacy’s response to it, Ramona’s eyes widened in alarm. “Stacy, wait…!” Ramona began, but it was already too late.
With a deafening peal of thunder and an energetic declaration of “Super-Mega-Ultra Zappy Zap!”, the patchwork girl unleashed her Killing Blow, an almighty torrent of chain lightning that promised to utterly incinerate anything and everything in its path.
“Huh, is it just me, or does everyone open with Killing Blow these days?”
“I know, right? (sigh…) Creativity is well and truly dead…”
“Well, I guess ya really can’t blame em’, especially since they never seem to miss.”
“Heh, wanna bet?”
Indeed, while Stacy’s raw power may have been vast, her accuracy left more than a little to be desired… Thus, the full, unmitigated fury of her massive arc of actinic annihilation fell not upon Blorloneous Bloortheo, but rather, the polyhedral brain of Xozooth the Xorcerer…
“Shit…”
“Whoops! Wrong target!” Stacy announced with a giggle.
“Y-OU Foo-EL!” Bloortheo cried in horror. “WhAT hAVE yOU dONe?!”
Even as this was said, the besieged brain began to shudder and glow with even greater brilliance as the energy from Stacy’s Killing Blow streamed into it.
“ThE bRAIN is beING overLOADed!” the merchant lord shrieked. “Its deLIcate equiliBRIum faTALLY DISrupTED! Y-OU hAVE dOOmed us all!”
“Whoah, really?!” Stacy gasped, while still blasting away, and seeming far-too-happy about that revelation. “That’s awesome!”
“No it’s not, you idiot!” Ramona snarled. “That’s the thing we were supposed to steal!” Giving voice to a sigh of utter exasperation, the red-eyed witch grabbed Stacy and pulled her through a just-opened interdimensional doorway, shutting off her lightning beam in the process. “Come on! Before that thing goes critical!”
“WretCHED sWINE!” Bloortheo bellowed. “Y-OU wILL P-ay for tHIS! Y-OU wILL—”
The merchant lord’s cries were cut off as Ramona slammed the door to her interdimensional home shut, a moment before an earsplitting detonation violently shook the frame.
“Wow! That was really intense, huh?!” Stacy asked, to which Ramona merely rolled her eyes.
After waiting several seconds, the shadowy sorceress slowly opened the door to see what remained of Bloortheo’s inner sanctum. “Holy shit…” she whispered as she beheld the sight that lay beyond.
“Wooow…” Stacy agreed, as she poked her head around Ramona’s witch’s hat.
Where the merchant lord’s palace once stood, there was now a gaping chasm in the heart of a glittering metropolis, a smoldering crater still glowing in its depths.
“I hope you realize this is all your fault.”
“It was?” Stacy asked with a confused frown. “But, like, I wasn’t the one who put that super fragile brain thing out in the open where it might get zapped! I mean, if it was really so dangerous, that big gold guy should have put it somewhere safe!”
“I don’t think anyplace is safe from you…” Ramona grumbled as she closed the door. “(Sigh…) Whatever… I’m in no mood to get reprimanded right now, so would you like to play a game?”
“Sure! Wanna play chess?!” Stacy asked eagerly.
“Actually, I was thinking we might try monopoly,” Ramona replied with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure you’ll find the rules somewhat familiar.”
“Oh, cool! I love that game! And I call the big cannon thing!”
“You mean the artillery piece?”
“Yeah! Not only does it attack with three dice instead of two, but it gets a bonus shot before combat even starts!”
“What…?”
“Oooh! Oooh! And the race car, too! That guy’s so fast, he gets an extra move!”
“Of course he does…” Ramona replied with a resigned sigh. “How could I have ever forgotten that…”
“Hahaha… Oh man… That was great!” Kate declared between bursts of hysterical laughter as she wiped a tear from her eye. “But, uh, if that was the brain of Xozooth the Xorcerer, then wouldn’t having it absorb that kinda energy have blown up the entire planet, if not the entire star system?”
“Very perceptive,” Nykannis commended with a sly smirk. “And yes, it would have actually released enough destructive force to annihilate that entire galaxy, if it hadn’t been a fake.”
“A fake?” Kate echoed. “Then where’s… Oooh…” her voice trailed off as the appearance of a glowing polyhedron in Nykannis’s lap brought sudden understanding.
“Did you seriously think that the paragon of all polymathamagicians would allow himself to come into the possession of someone as intellectually bankrupt as Blorloneous Bloortheo?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “Beings of his vast intellect seek out those of equal, or surpassing brilliance,” she noted.
“And who share my sense of humor,” (italics employed to denote an otherworldly voice) a disembodied voice added. “As such, it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Carson. Doctor Nykannis has spoken quite often of your love for pranks, and, if you are willing, I should like to employ your services in that regard.”
“You… want to hire me?” Kate asked somewhat incredulously.
“Yes,” Xozooth confirmed. “It concerns an old pupil of mine, whom I have very much been wanting to get back at for a prank he pulled on me several millennia ago.”
“I, uh, guess I could do that.” Kate replied hesitantly. “But, um, what exactly did you have in mind?”
“Most splendid. Most splendid indeed. His name is Thyerg’Xolys, and this (bold employed to denote emphasis) is what I’d like you to do…”
..
…
Just the Right Time to Pop in for a Spell
The universe you may know is theorized to be one of many. A vast array of timelines and alternative worlds reaching out ad infinitum. Even the slightest change or choice can create a new branch, or destroy it all the same. Regrets aside, if one were to traverse in between without any preparation or experience, they can find themselves lost. In Space, and in Time.
So of course there had to be someone to keep THAT balance in check too, to oversee the progress of even the most strange parallels. In a space where the turning of gears and the ticking of clocks broke a dead silence, A woman in red paced to and fro upon one of the few platforms within. She had been waiting for the right time, nay, to see if she'd be needed to salvage whatever she could out of an obviously certain reality. That or to just purge the damn place, who knows? Things were running on a snail's pace and she was bored as hell. The woman groaned. "Ugh, maybe I can just pay a quick visit?? Not like I'll be able to spice things up but, hey." She'd say to no one in particular. Maybe she could say a quick "Howdy'do!" to the Witches? Nah, there was a reason they avoided talking about her. Maybe she could provoke one of the factions and see what ticks? Then again, that could be a deathwish depending on who it is specifically.
Maybe she can toy with that half-blind fella?
...Definitely not. Well, maybe.
The woman groaned again. "God damnit, there's gotta be something I can work with! I'm getting tired of waiting!!" Despite her frustration, she thought through it some more before shaking her head in resignation. "Might as well be someone's problem for a minute." With a shrug, she summoned her weapon in hand, and set off to find one of the only other people with full knowledge on the multiverse.
…
…
…
Deep in the biomechanical bowels of her labyrinthian lab, Doctor Nykannis was gazing into the bubbling depths of her retro-regenerative resurrection well, in which hung suspended a steadily growing humanoid figure. The swirling energies of no less than seven hyper dimensional metaphysical aetheric numiosphere accelerator matrixes infused the gestating being with untold levels of transcendent power, while living strands of cosmic string knitted together its various ultra and hyper dimensional components on a sub quantum level. “Mmm… Looks like you’re progressing rather nicely,” the Monarch of Mad Science noted approvingly. “Should be finished right on schedule,” she added with a satisfied nod. “Now I think I’ll check up on my little pet project… See how she’s coming along…”
Regardless of whether or not the Woman in Red decided to be stealthy in her arrival, she had no doubt that Nykannis would take notice. With a *fwoop!*, she had teleported inside the Lab-yrinth. A dimension man-made by the will of one, such was a curious sight to behold. She decided to look around for a bit, taking care not to mishandle or break anything.
No sooner had Nykannis settled into her comfortable command throne, then she was alerted to the presence of an intruder… “What the hell?!” she snapped, as she activated a holodisplay. “Who do we have here?” she mused as she gazed upon the rather mundane-looking woman simply strolling around her lab with no particular purpose in mind. Since she hadn’t appeared directly before Nykannis, it was highly likely that the woman was here for sabotage, or at the very least, espionage, but then, why wasn’t she moving with haste? Although she obviously had access to incredible power, if she was able to enter The Lab in the first place, she also had to know that she would be discovered almost immediately, right? Perhaps she actually thought she could viably oppose the Monarch of Mad Science in her own Lab, but if so, she was VERY mistaken…
As the woman continued her meandering exploration, she would hear an annoyed voice call out from behind her. “Ya know, I’m starting to think anyone and their dog can get into this place. If you wanted a tour, you could have just sent a request.”
"I'm more of a cat person. Besides, I doubt you'd be that willing to let someone visit unless it's for business." The woman in red calmly replied back, turning around to the annoyed source. With her she carried a blade shaped to look like a clock hand, but decided it wasn't needed until she decided to leave, so she simply dispelled it. She gave a casual smile. Designation: Monarch, AKA Doctor Nykannis. Glad to see you haven't been killed off yet."
“You’d be surprised,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “I rather enjoy showing off my work to people who can actually understand it. And exactly what do you think is even capable of killing me?” she asked with a contemptuous scowl. “More importantly, just who the hell are you supposed to be anyway? The big sister of that one bitch who used to work for Justine?”
"Who knows? I'm mainly talking about the Grand Magstrates deciding to dispose of you for some reason or another. Doubt it though, you're pretty interesting." The woman shrugged. Though at the nod to one of Justine's old cronies, her smile faded. "See that's one reason why I'm hesitant in joining the little pow-wow in Penrose. I know that reality has had several instances of two Champions having the same...Facade? Can't think of a proper name for it, but still, I'd like to avoid something like THAT. I don't even have a dialogue color yet." She grimaced for a second. "As for who I am? I doubt the title of Witch of Time applies to me anymore, I'm mainly known as the Exodus of Time... or you can just call me Jennifer. Whatever keeps your boat afloat." She had a bit of a tired look as she introduced herself.
“I doubt it too,” Nykannis agreed. “Especially considering the fact they found me so interesting is the main reason they even allowed me to stay in their stupid reality plenum in the first place. So, Jenny, what made you think breaking into my Lab uninvited was such a good idea?”
"I'm bored and I crave chaos." Jennifer answered bluntly.
"That and it was either visit you or visit Designation: Ouroboros, or Oros as you know her. And since the neighboring reality only allows one Champion at a time, reasonable, honestly, I figured I'd have to be your problem for a bit." She explained further, a hand resting on her hip. "But yeah, mostly boredom."
“Well, fuck… Did I lose the lottery, or what? First Oros, and now you… Hell, if you stick around long enough, you might actually bump into her, though why the fuck you’d want that to happen is anyone’s guess. Anyway, if you’re not here to fuck with things, then I suppose I could give you a little tour… What did you want to see first?”
At Nykannis' reaction, Jennifer slightly frowned. "Sorry, I guess. Though better me than her, huh?" she tilted her head.
“You can say that again,” Nykannis chuckled.
"I'm fine with seeing whatever first though! And erm, perhaps find something that can give me a different Facade while we're at it?" The witch looked herself over, before looking back to the scientist.
“You want me to change what you look like?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, I could do that in my sleep, but, uh, do you have any preferences for the ‘new you’, or do you want me to get creative?”
"I mean, if I'm gonna AT LEAST visit Penrose once or twice, I don't want people to think Minnie's been resurrected or some shit." Jennifer held a fist under her chin. "Though I do want to be able to switch between looks, kinda like how a Disguise Artifact works, yeah? As for preference-wise..." She folded her hands behind her with a smile, but her furrowed brows could give off a subtle warning if one assumed. "I'll put my faith in your judgement.
“Well, being able to adapt is easy enough, and rather practical, too,” Nykannis agreed. “I’ll just infuse you with a metamorphic overlay, but as for the new form, I’ve got three initial choices. First, we have the ‘Loli’ option, guaranteed to make Oros invite you over to her new home, regardless of its Grand Magistrate’s stupid restrictions. Then we have the more mature option, perfect for garnering respect, and making people who aren’t into little kids fall head over heals for you. Finally, there’s this, and although it’s my personal favorite, it just might cause you even more trouble than your current look. Of course, if you like them all, there’s no reason we can’t incorporate all three. That way you can pick the right appearance for whatever situation you may find yourself in. So, what do you think?”
"Hmm...You do make a good point." Jennifer nodded with a grin. "Utilizing all three 'guises can prove useful if anyone gets suspicious of me and tries hunting my ass down. To kill or likewise." The witch looked over her three options again. "Gotta say, they're all pretty charming. BUT!" She looked at the third option. "This is more my style! Troubles aside, I see why you like it!"
“Well, you know what they say about great minds,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “All right, well, if you’re satisfied, I guess we can go ahead and apply the overlay right… Now!”
With that, a swirling swarm of nanites swiftly weaved a form-fitting shell of morphic energy particles over Jennifer, which, upon completion, fully melded to her metaphysical structure, creating an indelible link to her very soul.
“There, that didn’t take long, now did it?” Nykannis asked with a grin. “I trust you’re pleased with the results?”
The time witch looked over her new disguise with a grin. "Oh yeah, now we're cookin'!" She cackled. Though something crossed her mind, and her expression blanked out. "Guess I should repay the favor huh?" She asked Nykannis.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” Nykannis inquired, still a little unsure of how much Jennifer was actually capable of.
"Glad you asked!" Jennifer continued to grin a Cheshire's grin. "As you've probably guessed Witches, in terms of Penrose's reality are master sorcerers. We've got every magic specialization down to a T, even Oddballs for the rarer cases!" She explained. No longer content in staying in one place, the witch paced around. "Though uh, we still have to follow the Grand Magstrate's rules here and limit ourselves unless it's an emergency. That or adapt. Like if some Greater Horror decides to try and eat a universe we're working in while it's still alive or some shit. Eh, just means more mana for us to use!" She chuckled.
"As for myself, I'm sort of an overseer type for the multiverse. I mainly intervene if something, anomaly or not, tries to tamper with the natural progression of the timeline. As far as anyone's concerned, I do not exist. But I can give and get you info. Knowledge on anyone or anything you're curious about. Can also help speed up one of your experiments if you need to help." She turned back to the scientist. "That or I can get you supplies from some of the dead universes."
“How very interesting…” Nykannis noted with a grin of her own. “I already have most of what I need in order to complete my various projects, but knowledge is always appreciated, especially if it has to do with multiversal facets my interdimensional viewer can’t access. Although… I suppose there is one other thing you could assist me with…” she added with a thoughtful nod. “Since you’re obviously one of the big shots of this particular multiversal cluster, I’d like to study you a bit, find out just how powerful you really are. Then I’ll be able to apply that knowledge to Phase Two, or any of my others projects, for that matter. It wouldn’t hurt, of course,” she hastened to clarify. “And it won’t take more than half a second, so what do you say? Would that be doable?”
"Half a second?" the time witch asked. "Here I was assuming you'd be testing my prowess in combat, or the limits of my time magic. But I'm cool with this if it saves any trouble." She said, stretching her arms up over her head.
When Jennifer raised her hands, Nykannis raised an eyebrow. “What the hell? You, uh, you don’t need to do that. Or anything, really. Like I said, this won’t take but a moment, and it’ll tell me everything I’d learn from seeing you in combat and then some. Besides, fighting you here, the only place where I’m still virtually omnipotent, wouldn’t be all that fair, now would it?” she added with a smirk. “Now then, let’s get started…”
With that, several nanofluidic tendrils, each tipped with a different bizarre technomystic apparatus rose up around the time witch. An instant later, they bathed her in streams of prismatic energy as the data accumulation beams went to work gathering every conceivable (and inconceivable) aspect of information pertaining to her vast history, her equally vast powerset, her mental, physical, and metaphysical make up, and so forth. And, true to Nykannis’s word, the process was utterly painless, and was over in less than a second.
“Thanks, that should do nicely,” Nykannis said with a satisfied nod. “So, how about that tour?”
"I didn't need to stretch?" Jennifer watched as the tendrils made literal quick work in gathering info, letting her arms rest behind her head. Once it was finished as quick as it started, Nykannis had reminded her about the offered tour. "Oh right, lead the way!"
“What would you like to see first?” Nykannis asked as the roughly circular area they were standing on detached to form a floating platform. “There’s my legion of biomechanical titans, my armada of interstellar, transdimensional warships, my various power accumulators, Rupee… Oh, but if cute things are more your style, then perhaps the petting zoo would be the best place to start.”
The time witch looked around. "Well the titans do sound neat right n- WAITAMINUTE." Her eyes widened once she made sure what she heard was correct. "You're telling me you have a petting zoo, HERE??" Jennifer looked back to Nykannis with curiosity.
“Of course!” Nykannis confirmed. “I mean, what kind of mad scientist would I be if I celebrated the completion of a grand project without a fluffy little thing in my lap?”
The jovial girl's eyes lit up, and she began to bounce in place from excitement. "Then the hell are we waiting for?! Let's get going!"
Making use of a few convenient portals, it wasn’t long before the floating platform reached the “petting zoo”.
“Allow me to introduce you to some little friends of mine,” Nykannis said as she stepped over to a large, bubble-like chamber, filled with thousands of bizarre creatures, which seemed to warp the fabric of reality itself as they moved around. “Adorable, aren’t they?” the mad scientist asked as she reached into the forcefield bubble and grabbed an armful of the creatures. “I’m told most evil overlords prefer cats, but fuck that noise. These are the perfect companions for a mad scientist supreme,” she declared, while depositing the strange little fur balls on a large floating table. “And I’d know, since I made them all myself! Nyahahaha!”
"Hm. I get that." The time witch nodded, then turned her attention to the peculiar fluff-balls moving around on the table. "Heheh. Funky little dudes." She laid her arms on the surface of the table, and lowered her head to look at the creations more closely.
“Yeah, I’m kinda partial to this blue guy with the eyestalk,” Nykannis noted, scooping the creature up. “But they all have their unique quirks and oddities. Charm points, if you will. Like these guys with the springs coming out of the bottom of ‘em, or this little wormy guy here… He really likes to travel and explore new places. Just look at him go… Phasing though the others and everything. Y’know,” she added after a moment. “Speaking of going to new places, it’s not really all that hard to visit Esper World. You just have to find the right loopholes, and pick the right time. So what if the Grand Magistrate of that particular reality plenum has a limit on the number of Patron Champions that can reside there? You’re not one of those anyway, so I figure you can go wherever the hell you want. As for the timing, well… Let’s just say it's best to be discreet. Visit someone when they’re alone, when nothing else is going on. Then, you can just pass yourself off as a simple hallucination, a voice inside their head, a figment of their imagination. Shouldn’t be too hard,” she added with a smirk. “After all, as far as your pal Oros is concerned, we’re all figments of someone’s imagination. Speaking of Oros,” she added. “She thinks she’s sooo special with that stupid sword of hers. Y’know, the one that lets her read Patron Observable Event Transcripts? Well, it may make her nearly omniscient, but there’s a big fucking difference between ‘nearly’ and ‘completely’. See, unlike a universe’s Akashic records, the Grand Magistrate’s records don’t include everything that’s ever happened in their reality plenum, just the ‘important’ stuff, the stuff that helps them create an interesting narrative.” At this point the colorful worm-like creature had reached the end of the table, only to be teleported back to the other side, where it continued its little journey. “To better illustrate what I’m getting at, let me tell you about a certain multiverse I once came across in my travels. It was less of a reality plenum, and more of a worldline continuum, but the main thing is it was home to a particularly powerful eldritch entity. This thing could tank the full power of multiple deities and not even notice it was under attack. It destroyed whole universes by singing a children’s lullaby. And it also seemingly had the power to alter history. ‘Seemingly’ being the key word here, as it didn’t so much rewrite history as add to it. Remember how I mentioned the Grand Magistrate wanted to create an interesting narrative? Well, what about the uninteresting parts? The parts that happen off panel, off screen, off page? The in-between places? It’s kinda like the Observer Effect. I know you’re familiar with that. Basically, as far as this entity was concerned, observed history couldn’t be altered, but unobserved history? That was its own personal playground. It would ‘fill in the blanks’, mold unrecorded events to suit its whims. As long as something wasn’t explicitly stated to have or have not happened, it could make things unfold however it wanted. That’s the key to beating the Grand Magistrates, and more importantly, to beating Oros. If she can’t read it, she won’t know about it, at least, not before it's too late to matter…”
Jennifer hummed in thought as she listened to Nykannis' ramblings. Even if her focus seemed primarily on the little creatures that roamed the flat surface, she was simply in thought. She lifted her upper arms up and folded her hands together, resting her chin on them. After the other girl was done talking, then she added her two cents.
"Y'know she might be spying in on us now, right?" She chuckled. "Anyways, it can't exactly be helped that a Grand Magistrate would focus more on the plot than the side stories, gotta have SOMETHING done before the reality meets it's ever-reaching demise. Though one does fancy a bit of worldbuilding from time to time. Why'd you think the other Witches and a bit of Maura's group got introduced? Or hell, my coming to visit you can be considered a side-plot to spice things up!" Though she paused as she realized something. "Oh right, you probably don't know Maura besides a passing mention. I do know you met her two magical boys though! My condolences. Anyways, if you're talking about screwing with say, Designation: Pinnochio, then...hm...I'd have to think on it. Part of me would rather let him take his piece of the spotlight, than to try for a pointless encore, y'know? Then again we ended up with two of him at once." The time witch mumbled the last sentence, before continuing.
"The existence of Endless Eclipse is a slight concern though. I know Oros was brought in to be the fucking Deadpool of the group, but...say someone else got their hands on that level of clarvoyancy. Say, someone weak-minded, or yet to slip into hellish madness. What would they do with that knowledge? What kind of Pandora's Box would be unleashed unto that world? I know my power's kind of on the same vein, but not only did it take eternity to get on this level, but at least they'd have to pry my goddamn eye out first."
“Well, for one thing, this little conversation hasn’t been entered into the Grand Magistrate’s records yet,” Nykannis noted with a smirk. “So while I’m sure she’ll eventually find out about it, she won’t do it in time to actually effect anything, that is, in the hypothetical case of us plotting something against her. As for all that ‘plot importance’ shit, I really couldn’t care less who has the spotlight. In fact, I prefer to work ‘behind the scenes’. You have more freedom that way. And I wouldn’t be too concerned about anyone else getting their hands on Endless Eclipse. That thing’s bound to Oros on a metaphysical/metafictional level. And as for you, most people have no idea you even exist. You could slip into Esper World and fuck with Fable, give him advice, or whatever the hell you want, and most people, time boy included, would just pass you off as nothing more than a fucking fever dream. You want chaos? Just mess with people’s minds. A subtle voice in the back of your head is a lot more powerful and insidious than some world-breaking demigoddess. Trust me,” she added with a maniacal grin. “I’d know.”
"Hmm...you make a good point. Again." Jennifer glanced back at the table. She poked one of the creatures. "So now what?"
“Well, you said you wanted to see the titans, right?” Nykannis replied as she stepped back onto the transport disc, while still gently petting the small creature she was holding. “We can head over there now, and these little guys can come with us,” she added, as the table floated along behind her.
It wouldn’t be long before they caught sight of the vast, mountainous wall of cybermantic technowombs, each bubbling and pulsing as a gargantuan biomechanical engine of destruction grew within.
“These guys were pretty badly damaged in the conflict that forced me to seek the aid of this particular reality plenum’s Grand Magistrate,” Nykannis explained. “In fact, I had to regrow a large number of them from scratch,” she added. “And to ensure the survivors fare better in their rematch, I decided to make them even larger, among other improvements.”
"Larger, huh?" Jennifer looked up at the titans. "You made sure to up the defenses around the lower body, right? Large as they are it'd be a damn waste for some vagabond to trip them for an easy win." She shook her head. Something did catch her ear though.
"Wait, rematch? You considering revenge or something?" She asked. "What'd you do that warranted an escape to here anyways?"
“I’m always considering revenge,” Nykannis replied with a maniacal grin. “As for what I did, well, it was really nothing more than what I always do- push beyond boundaries. Let’s just say I went where others didn’t want me to go, and saw what others didn’t want me to see. I ‘overstepped my bounds’, so THEY decided to erase me from existence. Needless to say, THEY failed, and soon that failure is gonna come back to bite them in the metaphorical ass,” she added, while gazing up at the looming form of the nearest titan. “And yeah, you’d better believe I upped these guys’ defenses, although even without ‘em, you’d have to be the size of a mountain yourself to trip them up. Besides, they have full teleportation and counter-gravity capability, so they don’t even need to walk anywhere. Impressed yet?” she asked with a smug smirk.
"Hah! If I wasn't impressed, I wouldnt've been curious now, would I?" The time witch looked back to Nykannis with a grin of her own. "Though from what I'm hearing, seems we're in a similar boat, you and I." She noted, arms crossed.
“You don’t say?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “So what’s keeping you from going wherever you please? Clockroaches? Pesky Timelords? The TVA? That last one was a joke, by the way.”
At the question tossed back to her, Jennifer's smile faltered. "Well it wouldn't be fun if we learned my past this early, wouldn't it?" She tried to joke. After a brief pause, she looked back up to the titans. "But really even I haven't figured it out yet. I do think it had to do with me pursuing forbidden methods of time magic back in my original timeline. Y'know how in Penrose, time travel is seen as impossible, yet the 'perk' of being Void-Touched exists? Yeah, that didn't really stop me and my stubborn stupidity. It costed me alot. I flew too close to the sun, and got locked out."
With a frown, she glanced aside. "I got erased. Or as far as I was concerned, everyone I knew turned out better off without me. I know I was nothing but a fucking joke, but come on! Was I really that bad to the point of hindering progress??" Her frown broke into a scowl, before she shook her head to recollect herself. "BUT I've learned to focus on the positives of my predicament. I was free. I didn't have to hold myself back, repress how I felt anymore! I could do whatever I wanted, travel anywhere I wanted, unbound by moral restraints!!" With a maniacal cackle, she spun to face Nykannis, arms spread out.
"I thought I was alone, but I never was! For I have TIME ITSELF WITH ME!! People may be fickle, but with Time, I AM A GOD!!!" A manic grin. The time witch quickly realized how she might've looked, and calmed down, clearing her throat. "Sincerest apologies. Lost my cool for a moment there."
“Huh.” Nykannis observed. “Yeah, one of the Grand Magistrate’s big rules for this reality plenum is ‘no time travel’, but it sounds like getting ‘banished’ opened up a whole multiverse for you to explore, and then some. I’d kill to have that kind of freedom again! After all, what the hell do you think all this is for?!” she asked, spreading her arms to encompass the monolithic mountain range of cyberwombs, as well as the tens of thousands of moon-sized meganaughts and hypernaughts floating overhead. “I should be out there, exploring and conquering the myriad infinites, but instead I’m stuck here, kowtowing to small-minded magistrates and building fetishistic playthings for…” the mad scientist’s voice trailed off as an idea occurred to her. “Y’know, I just thought of something else you can help me with,” she noted with a twisted grin. “I’ve got an upcoming meeting with a certain pink-haired pervert, and in the event of that lunatic deciding she wants to fight me in my favorite restaurant, I’d like you to step in and mollify her, or at the very least distract her while I find another way of resolving the situation. You think you can do that?”
"Oh yeah, she dragged you into that not-date thing." Jennifer held a finger up to her chin, then nodded. "Yeah, since you've put up with me this long, I guess I do owe you a solid. Could probably grab you something that'd help you escape in a blink if it comes down to that."
“Glad to hear it,” Nykannis replied with a grin. “But I won’t be escaping,” she corrected. “I refuse to concede even a nanometer of ground to that bitch. I just need a way of occupying her easily-manipulated attention. Although it would be cool if you could actually convince her to give up on whatever annoyingly inconvenient stupidity she might have planned. With that in mind, make sure you come in your loli form,” the mad scientist instructed. “She has a… thing for that particular body type. It’ll hopefully make her more receptive to whatever you have to say.”
A tired look again. The time witch couldn't help but sigh. "Right. But if she tries anything funny with me I'm punting her into the wall." The innocuous masquerade would prove useful in letting people's guard down, but still. Ew.
Nykannis snorted in amusement. “That I would love to see.”
The pair continued to chat and tour the vast technoscape a while longer, but eventually, it came time for Jennifer to depart. After the Witch of Time had returned to wherever and whenever it was she called home, Nykannis had decided to return to what she’d been doing before being interrupted by her uninvited guest. Settling into her comfy command throne and activating her interdimensional viewer’s panoramic display, the Monarch of Mad Science grinned as she gently pet the small creature she was still carrying. “Now… Let’s see how our little Ashley’s doing…”
…
..
.
“Wow… That was certainly a stroke of luck, just happening to meet the perfect girl to distract Oros, right before you needed said distraction in the first place.”
“I hardly think ‘luck’ had anything to do with it,” Nykannis replied with a smirk. “Jen’s the Witch of Time. Odds are, she already knew when Oros would be dropping by, so she decided to be preemptive. Smart move, I gotta admit. Smart girl in general,” she added. “It’s not often I get to chat with someone possessed of an intellect so close to my own level, so I cherish the opportunities when I find them. Plus, she’s a hell of a lot more pleasant to be around than Oros, that’s for sure…”
“Yeah, she seems pretty fun,” Kate agreed. “I’d love to meet her sometime,” she added with a grin.
“Something tells me you’ll get the chance sooner or later,” Nykannis replied, ignoring the photographer’s obvious pun. “If she’s as bored as I am, she won’t be content with just two visits. Besides, something occurred during our little powwow with Oros that I think she’ll be rather interested in.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I noticed a familiar chronometric signature enter the reality plenum for a brief moment before noping the hell out. Not that I blame him,” she added with a derisive snort. “This place is a fucking train wreck on the best of days. ANYWAY, speaking of reality plenums, wanna join me in watching a few?”
“Sure. Like I said, I’ve got plenty of time to hang out.”
“Enough with the time puns already… Fuck, you’re almost as bad as that cheap Penny knockoff we met at the party…”
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop,” Kate reassured the mad scientist with a chuckle as they took their seats in front of the interdimensional viewer’s massive display. “So, what are we gonna watch?”
“Hmmm…” Nykannis murmured as she flipped through various universes as though she were changing channels on a tv. “Well, looks like Ashley’s still recovering from her visit to Justin’s funhouse, Olivia and her new friends are fighting a spectral storm cloud Pageless, Team 3’s battling a giant robot… Well now, what’s this?! Oh, this is great! Sarah and Stephanie are about to fight Draygon, and discover his true identity! Can you imagine the delicious emotional anguish that’s gonna generate?!”
“Yeah, you always did love drama,” Kate noted wryly. “But maybe we could watch something a little more lighthearted,” she suggested. “Y’know, something comedic?”
“Fine…” Nykannis conceded with an annoyed sigh. “I think I know just the thing…”
That’s ME!!!
-Stacy
in
The Great Brain Robbery!
(Bold and italics employed to denote importance.)Starring Stacy Stitches
That’s ALSO me!
-Stacy
Huh? Who turned off the lights? Stacy wondered groggily. She could vaguely make out a distorted voice giving instructions, a voice which grew louder and more distinct with each passing second.
“PerFECT! N-ow, M-ove thE oTHER appenDAGE a little to thE LEft…”
Slowly opening her eyes, Stacy was greeted with the sight of her various body parts being arranged in different positions around a large chamber by several hovering, gold-plated spheroid robots. In particular, her arms were being hung upon a far wall, and appeared to be engaged in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Meanwhile, one of her legs was apparently being employed to serve as a stand for an eldritch lampshade.
“Hey! I remember that movie!” Stacy exclaimed with an excited grin. “That’s the one where that kid in the orphanage loses that sled signed by Victor Lazlo, right?!”
“AH Ha! I see you have now REgained consCIOUSness, chiLD,” the voice declared. “Y-OU, who dARED to set foot WITHin the gilDED palACE of BlorlOnEOUS BloorthEO, Grand High MerCHANT L’ORD of the EterNAL HalCyOnian EmPIRE! I know not the rEason for your unINvited intruSION, but, sINCE I hAVE BEcome wELL A-ware that you are capABLE of SURviving WITHout the use of your interNAL orGANS, I THought it a mOST fitTING punISHment to add you to thE collecTION, DISplayed hERE, in my inNER sancTUM’s art gallERY!”
“Wow! That sounds crazy cool!” Stacy marveled. “Like, for a moment there, I thought I was havin’ a flashback to when Doc Zinestine was putting me back together after my little ‘accident’! It was super weird, just like this! See, one moment, I was walking to school, and the next thing I knew, I was in this crazy cool lab with this crazy cool scientist guy, and I was like, ‘Hey! Can I be the beautiful lab assistant who gets to say ‘It’s ALIVE!’ and all that stuff?!’, but he was like, ‘No! You’re actually the monster!’ Talk about a plot twist! So, anyways, I was like, ‘For reals?!’, and he was like, ‘YES! Just look in this mirror thing!’, and then I was like—”
“Si-LENCE!” Bloortheo bellowed. “I hAVE choSEN to spARE you L-ife, in orDER that yOU may be interrOgated forthWITH! N-OW! I DEmand tO know wHY yOU cAME hERE!”
“Oh, uh, full discosure? I have no idea. I mean, Doc Zinestine probably had a really important reason for sending me here, and I think he might have been telling me about it a little while ago, but I wasn’t really paying attention to him, ‘cause I just got this super cool new game on my phone, where ya help these cute little robot bird things fight against these mutant pig guys, and… Oh! I just remembered something! So, if my body parts are all over there, where’s my head at right now?!”
“IMbecilic chiLD! I have choSEN to pLACE your CONtemptible craNIum U-pon a statUette of an AbaloTHEian abunDANcy danCER, which yOU decaPItated durING your unINvited entRY!”
“Oh wow! I gotta see this!”
Straining for a moment, Stacy’s head shuddered as her sole remaining eye bulged out, before popping free from its socket to roll in front of her. Now able to clearly observe her predicament, the ditzy girl gave voice to a delighted squeal. “OMG! I look like one of those bobble head things! This is too cool! And, like, holy crap! Is that you?!” she asked, upon noticing the bulbous golden visage looming over her. “You’re SO freakishly BIG! Totally not judging here, but have you ever thought about going on a diet? ‘Cause I’ve heard that the grainless diet is super good at helping you lose—”
“Si-LENCE!” Bloortheo roared. “You wILL tELL me what I wISH tO knOw, or I sHALL—”
“Ooooh! What’s that crazy lookin’ glowy thing over there?!” she asked as a crystalline polyhedron covered in shimmering circuitry glyphs caught her eye. “It looks kinda familiar… Say! Do ya think I might have ever seen it before sometime?!”
“Ah HAH ha! SO, your purPOSE is nOW REvealed! I should hAVE knOWN it was tHIS you S-ought!”
“Oh wow! You really think so?! That’s so cool! So… uh, what is it, anyway?”
“T-HIS, my PAtheTIC chiLD, is none oTHER tHAN thE BIphasIC B-RAIN of XoZOOTH thE XorCERer, thE greaTEST polYmathaMAgician of tHEM all!”
Stacy gasped at this revelation. “No way! That guy?! For reals?! I mean, I have no idea who that is, but he sounds crazy important! So, uh, did he perform at birthdays, or somethin? ‘Cause my birthday’s comin’ up soon, and I was really hoping I’d get to have a magician come to my party and make those super cute balloon animals! Y’know, like plankton and parameciums and stuff?! Like, I asked my friend Ramona if she could do that kinda stuff, and she was like, ‘I don’t make balloons, I pop them’, and, I mean, that’s super fun too, but, like, how can ya pop them when they don’t even exist yet, y’know? So, anyways, if that is what Doc Zinestine wanted me to get, then why’d ya put me so close to it?”
“PiTIful foo-EL! You are UtTERly helpLESS! I hAVE, of COURse PREvented you from moVING your appendAGES, by pLACing each OF them in a staSIS FI-eld!”
Stacy grit her teeth as she attempted to wiggle just one finger, but no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn’t budge an inch. “Huh, well that sucks…” she noted with a frown.
“AH ha! AH ha!” Bloortheo chortled. “Do yOU nOw sEE?! YoU sHALL nOT bE sTealing anYthing, nOR SHall yOU bE resCUed, fOR nONe cAN enTER my innERmost sancTUM, UNless I aLLOW it!”
“How right you are,” an amused voice agreed.
“Hey! I know that voice!” Stacy exclaimed as she bounced her eye back into its socket in time to see a shadowy form extend from her lamp stand leg to pool in the center of the floor. A moment later, the dark puddle rose up into the smirking form of a dark-haired young woman with piercing red eyes. “Ramona!” the patchwork girl cheered, a big grin spreading across her face.
“WhAt is thE meanING of thIS?!” Bloortheo bellowed. “H-OW did yOU get IN hERE?!”
“The same way Stacy did,” Ramona replied. “I bonded myself to her shadow,” she explained. “Not the most pleasant experience by any means, but as you can see, it got the job done.”
With a flick of her wrist, the shadowy sorceress deactivated the stasis fields binding all of Stacy’s myriad body parts in place, allowing her patchwork pal accomplice to regain full control over them once more.
“Wow, thanks!” Stacy told her totally-not-friend, before her head, torso, and various appendages flew into the center of the room, where they began reassembling themselves, although not without some mistakes…
“Your head’s on backwards,” Ramona noted in a dry deadpan. “And so is your right foot.”
“I was wonderin’ why everything seemed a bit off!” Stacy replied with a giggle as she readjusted herself. “There! That should do it!”
“Now, let’s get down to business,” Ramona declared with a wicked smirk. “Fatty, your voice is an affront to my eardrums, and I should just stick your bloated carcass in a chamber of eternal torment, but since I’m feeling uncommonly generous, I’m willing to make a deal. Give us the brain, and I promise we’ll leave peacefully. Otherwise, things will become decidedly more unpleasant.”
“Wow, so we really are tryin’ to steal that weird glowy thing? Sweet!”
“H-OW dARE yOU?! H-OW dARE yOU utTER sUCH efFRONtery tO mE, in my O-wn sancTUM, nO less!”
“What better place is there?” Ramona asked with a cocky sneer. “You’ve got the best security in the nine unified galaxies surrounding this place, but inside it, you’re completely helpless. It’s actually rather pathetic.”
“Ah HAH ha! FooLISH chILdren! A-mong thE reLICs CONtained hereIN, are thE trapPINGs of my priOR L-ife, and as yOU shAll nOW witNESS, it is indEed a gloRIous THing, to bE a PiRATE K-ING!”
Reaching a segmented limb under his desk, Bloortheo produced a small gold and jewel encrusted chest, which, in a blur of mechanical motion, swiftly reconfigured itself into an enormous energy cannon.
“N-OW!” the merchant lord declared as his massive weapon began to charge with destructive power. “D-IE!”
“Wow! That’s, like, super crazy cool!” Stacy exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with excitement. “But I’ve got something even cooler!” she added as a crackling orb of energy manifested between her hands. “Check this out!”
Seeing the size of Bloortheo’s weapon, and, perhaps even more worrying, Stacy’s response to it, Ramona’s eyes widened in alarm. “Stacy, wait…!” Ramona began, but it was already too late.
With a deafening peal of thunder and an energetic declaration of “Super-Mega-Ultra Zappy Zap!”, the patchwork girl unleashed her Killing Blow, an almighty torrent of chain lightning that promised to utterly incinerate anything and everything in its path.
“Huh, is it just me, or does everyone open with Killing Blow these days?”
“I know, right? (sigh…) Creativity is well and truly dead…”
“Well, I guess ya really can’t blame em’, especially since they never seem to miss.”
“Heh, wanna bet?”
Indeed, while Stacy’s raw power may have been vast, her accuracy left more than a little to be desired… Thus, the full, unmitigated fury of her massive arc of actinic annihilation fell not upon Blorloneous Bloortheo, but rather, the polyhedral brain of Xozooth the Xorcerer…
“Shit…”
“Whoops! Wrong target!” Stacy announced with a giggle.
“Y-OU Foo-EL!” Bloortheo cried in horror. “WhAT hAVE yOU dONe?!”
Even as this was said, the besieged brain began to shudder and glow with even greater brilliance as the energy from Stacy’s Killing Blow streamed into it.
“ThE bRAIN is beING overLOADed!” the merchant lord shrieked. “Its deLIcate equiliBRIum faTALLY DISrupTED! Y-OU hAVE dOOmed us all!”
“Whoah, really?!” Stacy gasped, while still blasting away, and seeming far-too-happy about that revelation. “That’s awesome!”
“No it’s not, you idiot!” Ramona snarled. “That’s the thing we were supposed to steal!” Giving voice to a sigh of utter exasperation, the red-eyed witch grabbed Stacy and pulled her through a just-opened interdimensional doorway, shutting off her lightning beam in the process. “Come on! Before that thing goes critical!”
“WretCHED sWINE!” Bloortheo bellowed. “Y-OU wILL P-ay for tHIS! Y-OU wILL—”
The merchant lord’s cries were cut off as Ramona slammed the door to her interdimensional home shut, a moment before an earsplitting detonation violently shook the frame.
“Wow! That was really intense, huh?!” Stacy asked, to which Ramona merely rolled her eyes.
After waiting several seconds, the shadowy sorceress slowly opened the door to see what remained of Bloortheo’s inner sanctum. “Holy shit…” she whispered as she beheld the sight that lay beyond.
“Wooow…” Stacy agreed, as she poked her head around Ramona’s witch’s hat.
Where the merchant lord’s palace once stood, there was now a gaping chasm in the heart of a glittering metropolis, a smoldering crater still glowing in its depths.
“I hope you realize this is all your fault.”
“It was?” Stacy asked with a confused frown. “But, like, I wasn’t the one who put that super fragile brain thing out in the open where it might get zapped! I mean, if it was really so dangerous, that big gold guy should have put it somewhere safe!”
“I don’t think anyplace is safe from you…” Ramona grumbled as she closed the door. “(Sigh…) Whatever… I’m in no mood to get reprimanded right now, so would you like to play a game?”
“Sure! Wanna play chess?!” Stacy asked eagerly.
“Actually, I was thinking we might try monopoly,” Ramona replied with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure you’ll find the rules somewhat familiar.”
“Oh, cool! I love that game! And I call the big cannon thing!”
“You mean the artillery piece?”
“Yeah! Not only does it attack with three dice instead of two, but it gets a bonus shot before combat even starts!”
“What…?”
“Oooh! Oooh! And the race car, too! That guy’s so fast, he gets an extra move!”
“Of course he does…” Ramona replied with a resigned sigh. “How could I have ever forgotten that…”
“Hahaha… Oh man… That was great!” Kate declared between bursts of hysterical laughter as she wiped a tear from her eye. “But, uh, if that was the brain of Xozooth the Xorcerer, then wouldn’t having it absorb that kinda energy have blown up the entire planet, if not the entire star system?”
“Very perceptive,” Nykannis commended with a sly smirk. “And yes, it would have actually released enough destructive force to annihilate that entire galaxy, if it hadn’t been a fake.”
“A fake?” Kate echoed. “Then where’s… Oooh…” her voice trailed off as the appearance of a glowing polyhedron in Nykannis’s lap brought sudden understanding.
“Did you seriously think that the paragon of all polymathamagicians would allow himself to come into the possession of someone as intellectually bankrupt as Blorloneous Bloortheo?” the mad scientist asked with a raised eyebrow. “Beings of his vast intellect seek out those of equal, or surpassing brilliance,” she noted.
“And who share my sense of humor,” (italics employed to denote an otherworldly voice) a disembodied voice added. “As such, it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Carson. Doctor Nykannis has spoken quite often of your love for pranks, and, if you are willing, I should like to employ your services in that regard.”
“You… want to hire me?” Kate asked somewhat incredulously.
“Yes,” Xozooth confirmed. “It concerns an old pupil of mine, whom I have very much been wanting to get back at for a prank he pulled on me several millennia ago.”
“I, uh, guess I could do that.” Kate replied hesitantly. “But, um, what exactly did you have in mind?”
“Most splendid. Most splendid indeed. His name is Thyerg’Xolys, and this (bold employed to denote emphasis) is what I’d like you to do…”
