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2 mos ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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Dragan Meszaros


Dragan had removed his helmet as he made his way back up, graciously accepting the villagers' cowed thanks. There was no point in being angry at the ignorant. Human peasants didn't know better, especially in this dark age. Of course they would be suspicious of armed strangers. So with that in mind, he simply smiled and nodded as he returned to the village headman.

After Giles spoke, Dragan favored him with a single nod before beginning to explain.

"The beastmen have been driven back. As your villagers will attest, they are either slaughtered or in full retreat. However, you have another problem." This time, the vampire lord gave Giles a hard stare. While he doubted the headman was aware of what exactly had been going on underground, he still had to impart the gravity of the situation upon him.

"Were you aware that someone among you has been experimenting on captured beastmen? He'd had a specimen in his chambers that I put out of its misery. Moreover, I suspect the breach originated from that building. I can take you to it, and then you can point out exactly who occupies it. Whomever it is has brought these raids upon your village, be it inadvertently or otherwise."
peepoarrive
Valerie Durand


"Roché and Miles are missing!"

Well, that explained some things. Like why her roommate wasn't back even at this late hour. Valerie sat at her desk, finishing up the last of the day's homework as she mused to herself. Eh, Roche was probably fine. Really, she didn't take the girl for the sexually active type, and Miles wasn't exactly in her own strike zone, but Roche was weird enough that being into really cunty guys wasn't exactly out of the question for her.

"You should probably be a responsible roommate and go look for her, you know." Ceruli cut in, staring out the window as he sat in the spare chair that Roche wasn't using at the moment.

"I really, really don't want to walk in on my roommate screwing someone in the middle of the woods. Plus, Sartyr's probably called campus security by now." Valerie replied instantly, packing her schoolwork up.

"And the poor girl will face disciplinary action should security retrieve her before you manage to. Do recall that you're supposed to be living with her. It would do you good to get on her better side."

"The first thing she did when we met was come at me with a utility lighter." Valerie said flatly, before sighing as her Duel Spirit continued to stare her down. A few moments later, she gave in. "Fine, fine. If I walk in on them cuddling, I'm coming straight back." A pause. "...She's been gone for hours. Would've been back by now if it's what they were actually up to."

With that settled, Valerie stood up, slipped her Duel Disk on, and left her room out the window. No sense leaving after curfew through the front door. Time to go find her erstwhile roommate.
Renar Hagen


Renar was going to have watched the windows even before Tyaethe gave her order. It made sense, after all. The corridor was manned by Crown Knights already, and there weren't any other points of ingress besides self-made ones. And at that point, the idea was so insane that even a defense against it would be needlessly wasteful in any other circumstance. So he did as he was bid, and returned to guarding the princess's room, sword drawn and planted against the floor.

He did nod politely to Princess Elisande as she shielded her younger sister's view from it, though that certainly wasn't helping with the unearthly howling. Gods be damned, feigning charm and decorum throughout the entirety of the ball had been exhausting enough already. And he was terrible with children to begin with. Fionn really should be handling this, but if the other knight wasn't going to jump on the situation, Renar would.

"Cover your ears should you find the ruckus unpleasant, Highness." The Bastard of Brias briefly crouched down at Princess Maletha's side. "Dame Tyaethe is doing exactly what she is supposed to. This is just proof that it's working." With that said, he stood back up and resumed his vigil, shooting Fionn a pleading gaze to take over with the child.

Renar did sneak a peek at the exorcism now and then, just to make sure that nothing was going wrong. Fortunately, judging by the reactions of everyone involved, it looked like this was supposed to be normal. Just some sort of wicked spirit, according to Sir Adeforth-

The thing moved.

He saw it out of the corner of his eye, and reacted immediately. Renar dashed forward, his free hand shoving the princesses out of the way of the creature's lunge, even as his sword hand thrust out and plunged the tip of his blade straight for the spirit's throat. Oh, this had better work. He wasn't dying for anyone else this day, not even a royal.

Ranbu no Izayoi


Leonhardt's seemingly genuine apology, of all things, only had Izayoi's glower deepen as she sat back down. That was it, then. The man truly didn't have a plan. Instead, he would throw a pack of adventurers and mercenaries out into the wild with only the promise of ten million gil to motivate them. It may have worked for the majority of those gathered within the hall, but at this point, Izayoi cared nothing for riches. The Emperor of Osprey had once gifted her an estate with her noble title after her ascension to general, and yet she'd never stepped in it once. As someone who'd once pored over sheets of troop movements, supplies, and budgets, ten million gil was a downright bargain compared to mobilizing and supplying an army.

"Tch," Izayoi murmured spitefully, still able to be heard by most of the table around her. "Not a month will pass before at least one of these 'teams' attempts to murder another to eliminate competition for the gil."

With that said, she leaned back and took another sip of water, coldly observing the immediate situation around her. After all, it seemed she'd be stuck with these people should she actually deign to stick with this nonsense. The idiot who'd spoken first earlier seemed to be fixated on flirting with a robed girl now, and doing so terribly. Followed by some scruffy, gil-obsessed ruffian barging in on their table. She just...wasn't going to deal with any of that right now. Gods help her, being surrounded by this much idiocy was exhausting.

Instead, Izayoi focused on what was to be more pertinent: sharing information. Once the Sollan next to her said his piece, Izayoi sighed before beginning to speak.

"I am known as Ranbu no Izayoi. Call me Izayoi if you wish, I care not. As for the Light..." She inclined her head briefly in the redheaded Skaelian's direction. "Unless one of you possesses an insight that I lack, I would take the fight to the occupiers from Valheim. The Blight began in the wake of their arrival. I would see what the godless foreigners know of it."
Dragan Meszaros


As Luna caught up, Dragan considered their current course of action. Both she and Aleksiya did make a fair point that there was very likely another vampire lord somewhere within the woods. Of course, Giselle had presumably run off in that direction already, so continuing on in this vein was logical. Luna did raise an interesting point, but Dragan wasn't quite certain as to whether or not it had any merit in truth.

"Frankly, I have my doubts as to whether this purported vampire lord within the forest has any conscious control over what is being created here. My hundred former brethern were rather thorough in their work, by all appearances. Regardless, I would not let speculation stop us from at least going to judge for ourselves first. Should they not prove tractable, there are enough of us to...rectify that error."

Dragan turned to exit the building, his hammer resting on one shoulder.

"I will catch up momentarily. There are words I would have with the village headman first. Moreover, Giselle and Akyasha must be informed of this development, if either of you two would care to seek them out."
Nakano Nagi


So help her, Nagi was going to throw this bitch into oncoming traffic. At the very least, Gotoh was listening. Being an unbelievable cunt about it, but still listening. Still, how the hell had the rumor mill not focused on the fact that the school genius was a walking stereotype insufferable know-it-all? That really should've been the first thing anyone even mentioned about Gotoh Yuzu. Fucking hell, she seriously wasn't paid enough to deal with this shit. For a moment, Nagi felt just a twinge of empathy towards her father and a good portion of the boys for their smoking habit. A cigarette didn't sound like the worst idea right now if it took the edge off dealing with this. Then the part of her that actually gave a shit about the health of everyone involved ruthlessly quashed that sentiment and gave her a dope slap on the back of the head for even considering it.

"God, just...fuck it." Nagi groaned in disgust as she pinched her brow. "If it means something's gonna come out of your mouth besides another insult, just ask your questions while we're walking. Can't promise I can answer everything, but I'll tell you what I know and/or what I'm allowed to say before you meet the boss."

At the same time, Nagi fished her burner phone out, rapidly typing a text to her erstwhile classmate and co-worker.

Shiratori, you got your guy yet? Mine's driving me batshit insane from how much of a huge bitch she is, might kill her before Strange Gospel gets the chance to at this rate

@Pitsuji @VitaVitaAR
Renar Hagen


Well, well. The princess had quite a bit of spare time on her hands, to be able to be as well-read in fiction as she was. And here he thought that royalty would be trained far more extensively in matters of state and administration. As someone with a rather...difficult youth behind him, Renar couldn't help but be just a tiny bit bitter about that. And mildly concerned for the state of Thaln's future, but that was a different consideration altogether.

When the call for aid came from outside the door, it was almost a relief. Waiting for a definite threat was hell on the nerves. Now that it had arrived, he could assess and-

Oh. It was only the nem adventurer, choking to death. Not his problem, then. Judging by what he was hearing, this was definitely magical in origin. So it was beyond the scope of his knowledge as well. Sir Nicomede's efforts were certainly valiant, but didn't quite offer a solution regardless. Unfortunate for her, then. Short of putting the girl out of her misery, there really wasn't much Renar could do in this situation. At least Dame Tyaethe seemed to be experienced enough with the matter to determine that they needed an exorcism. He started moving to gather some of the materials mentioned and bring them to Tyaethe, making multiple runs to and from the room. As he did, Renar began to consider the ringleader's approach in his head.

So he cursed the nem. Certainly, the presence of the Iron Rose in the crypt by now would indicate that she'd squealed. But petty spite would be a waste of time if it didn't serve some sort of goal or tactical advantage. Now, in the necromancer's shoes, how would Renar have best taken advantage of this...ah.

"Dame Tyaethe," Renar murmured aside to her as he made another delivery of exorcism supplies. "There could still be an attempt made during all this. Were I in the ringleader's place, I'd be using this as a distraction for another assassin. Your thoughts?"
Dragan Meszaros


Dragan had been expecting many things when he'd entered the building: more beastmen, mortals being terrified by them if he were lucky, and more corpses if fortune decided to not favor him on this day. A mangled, imprisoned beastman kept seemingly as a test subject was not on his list of expectations. A deep frown marred the vampire lord's face beneath his helmet as he took the scene in, starting to piece together what had happened here.

Whatever experimentation had been done here clearly attracted the attention of the beastmen. The little fool who'd worked here hadn't fortified well enough, providing a breaching point for the beasts. One man's negligence was responsible for who knew how many deaths today. Further proof that mortals brought ruin upon themselves when left to their own devices.

As for the test subject itself...Dragan stood where he was, considering it for a moment. The measures taken to shackle it damaged the body too much for his liking to use efficiently. He only had so much power to use right now, and this would be a waste. Best to put it out of its misery, then. His course set, Dragan extended his free hand, a small spike of blood forming before it launched straight towards the beastman's exposed heart.

With that taken care of, Dragan returned to the previous chamber, noticing the notes Aleksiya was reading.

"Aught there anything of use to us?" He inquired. "Whoever was making use of this building was imprisoning beastmen in the back chamber and experimenting upon them. The breach from outside was also present there."

@VitaVitaAR
Ranbu no Izayoi


The banquet was certainly opulent. Generous, even. Considering that Leonhardt was hosting and feeding a host of otherwise itinerant mercenaries, thugs, and gods know what else. The food was certainly a pleasure. Izayoi couldn't deny that her old enemy set a fine table. She'd already ate a helping of boar, followed by fish. Certainly heartier than court meals she'd had to endure with the samurai. But above all else? This banquet was a waste of her time.

She'd come to see exactly what Edren's new king had in mind when he'd made an open call for aid, and yet all the little fool was doing was stall, socialize, and dine. Both Valheim and the Blight ate away at the continent, and he thought there was time for niceties? A few seats down from him was a familiar face. A middle-aged Faye nobleman, bearing an eyepatch and scars. Strange. Izayoi could have sworn she'd taken both of that commander's eyes.

___
"Is this all my prey has to offer?" Ranbu no Izayoi let a maddened cackle loose as a swing of her sword had the opposing knight scrambling to cower behind his shield, yet another crack forming in the targe. "Better than the gibbering fool that came before you, but still lacking nonetheless. If you have nothing else to show me, then you will meet your end!"

She leapt up into the air, gripping the hilt of her blade in both hands before sending it crashing down. The Faye knight raised his shield and tried to block, but Izayoi's strike shattered it and continued downward. Somehow, the man retained enough presence of mind to desperately jerk out of the way of certain death, to the point that her sword only grazed his eye. Still, it left him writhing in the dirt and muck as Izayoi stood triumphant before him, raising her blade for the coup de grace.

"Disappear from my sight, worm-" A flicker of movement from the corner of her eye told her all she needed.

"Protect the commander!"

A gunshot rang out from the side, and Izayoi turned, cutting the bullet apart in a vertical slice even as Edrenian reinforcements began to rush her. Contemptuous flicks of her hand sent her sword to take hands, arms, and heads, unworthy warriors cut down before her in an instant even as the Faye knight was escorted onto a chocobo, galloping beyond her range. How vexing. She'd claim his head later.

She never did claim his head later.

___

It was with a sense of dull surprise that Izayoi realized the memory held nothing for her anymore. Once, she would have felt satisfication or pride at the thought of the duel and how thoroughly the knight had been crushed before her. Now, its only significance to her was that the events within did indeed happen. It had been only a single eye. No matter.

Not for the first time that evening, Izayoi resisted the urge to reach for the sheathed wakizashi she'd tucked away into her robes and snuck into the banquet. Had she been confident that she was more than a match for the combined strength of the Edrenians in the hall, they would have been cowed before her might and acted as she bid. But her movements were still too slow, her muscle memory only just remembering the ebb and flow of the dance.

So instead, the swordswoman poured herself a cup of water from the jug on the table and let a deep frown show as some yammering fool at her table stood and began to make an ass of himself. Most of his speech was empty, and the rest? Deliberate provocation. Was this a gathering of champions, or a marriage arrangement? If the man wished to troll for women, he could do so without wasting the time of everyone else present.

The scruffy-looking Sollan next to her spoke quietly, and Izayoi huffed in amusement.

"At least someone here is capable of speaking sense." She replied to him in a low murmur as one Lord Caradoc at their table rose and replied. Caradoc...where had she heard that name before? It was during the war, to be certain. But who...? She certainly didn't remember one of that name as someone notable in her theater of war. Irrelevant, then. Still, if this was going to devolve into more fools prancing and posturing about, then she wasn't going to play.

"Enough. I tire of this farce." Izayoi's voice rang out across the hall as she stood, drawing attention to herself for the first time. No doubt a few would recognize her. The Limbtaker. Kaien's Revenge. The Emperor's Demon. And a myriad of other colorful invectives the Edrenians had for her during the war. "Are you so desperate, King of Edren, that you would simply allow thugs and brigands to feast at your table and take advantage of your largesse for a scrap of their service, or are you merely a fool? Speak of what you truly have in mind, or you waste the time of what few in attendance are worthy."
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