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4 yrs ago
Wishing a relaxing weekend for everyone. Take some time to be kind to yourself, to unwind, and to have some rest. <3
11 likes
6 yrs ago
I ate a brownie once at a party in college. It was intense. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
10 likes
6 yrs ago
There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France. De-Brie everywhere.
11 likes

Bio



that elder scrolls / mass effect roleplayer

I put a spell on you

“I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive.”



Most Recent Posts

Just Like Starting Over

A collab by @Stormflyx & @Dervish


Naryxa gazed out of the window. What a contrast to the Milky Way it was. The Milky Way was alive and bright with a bejeweled backdrop of glistening stars burning bright in the distance, trails of cosmic dust littering a path to follow and adventure on, to find yourself along, to meet friends and lovers and create a life...

Here, the view was cold, dead, and dark. Looking out at the bare bones of the scourge caused a shiver to run down the Asari’s spine. There was not a single glimmer of life in the twisted and gnarled curls of wasteland - ever growing and burning up in the emptiness of Heleus. Are these rose-tinted glasses? Did I ever find the Milky Way so beautiful? she thought to herself, both fascinated and repulsed by the branches of the scourge. It’s ugliness reminded her of the Kett. They were one and the same to her - a curse.

She hadn’t known this was the view when she’d requested to meet Sabinus.

The curtain of the scene would only add more to the morose weight sitting on her chest, that she had hoped a conversation with her Fireteam Leader would relieve, and would help her to shake loose. She liked Sabinus. He seemed to carry a level-head on his shoulders. He was outwardly friendly and personable, but Naryxa had sensed a level of depth to him not overly apparent from the surface. She wanted to talk to him about Eos.

”Beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice called from behind Naryxa. Sabinus stepped around the seats and set himself down next to the Asari, wearing a leather jacket and a blue scarf that he somehow looked socially acceptable in. In his hands were two plant fiber cups, one green, the other blue, which he offered to Naryxa. ”Sorry for being behind the time your requested, a friend or mine down in hydroponics messaged and said there were a few plants that were bearing fruit that were unsuitable for harvesting or using for sustainable food, but the team thought it might be a nice pick me up for people if they made some who-knows-what juice instead of the freeze dried rations that have been in storage for centuries. Green’s dextro, blue’s levo. Cheers.” he said, taking a tentative sip or the cup and the hum that he subvocalized definitely sounded satisfied. It was one of the few fresh foods he’d tasted since being taken out of stasis.

”Most people see the Scourge and see something awful, just irredeemable. To me, it’s just a part of our new home you get used to. We all know volcanoes and typhoons are destructive and deadly, but we can admit there’s some part to them that captures the imagination and has a dangerous beauty to it. It’s like someone dropped black ink into a glass of water and it created a web of dark chords with these curious orange lights. It reminds me of deep sea predators.” Sabinus observed; he sounded respectful and somewhat enthralled.

“I wouldn’t have guessed you to have a green thumb Sabinus... ” she chuckled, taking the cup from Sabinus’ hands, inhaling the scent of the fruit juice. “It’s always refreshing to meet someone with plant passion in their blood.” What she couldn’t agree with him on was his description of the scourge. It was, however, strange that he found it so beautiful. Perhaps he had a point. “I don’t know… I just get entirely bad vibes from it. There’s something I agree with you on though, that word… predator”.

She took a sip from the cup and stayed quiet for a few seconds - pensive in her thoughts for a moment, working out how to string together what she wanted to say. She didn’t want to make it about her from the get go, she asked her leader the following question; “How do you feel about Heleus so far?” She was aware that he had been out of Cryo longer than her, she wondered if over the time he’d been out his feelings had changed.

A pleasant smile crossed his face, his mandibles shifting ever so slightly. He gestured to the cup Naryxa was holding. ”Well, you’re holding real progress in your hands. Things now are how I expected them to be when we arrived, and I won’t lie; there were a lot of times when I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it. By the time I came out, life support was on the verge of failing and they had to seal off most of the station and account for each breath taken.

“The idea to revive most of the labour force was a gamble, because there weren’t enough rations and air to really support more than a handful of people indefinitely. But you would have been amazed at how everyone pulled together, the best minds of the Initiative pulling something truly inspiring out of what nearly was the death of everyone on the ship. It told me that we were going to make it. And now, we have a viable colony that can one day support everyone if need be, and engineering did an incredible amount of work making all of the systems sustainable. So, I’m optimistic. This is home.”


“I’m glad you think so. I trust you” she replied with a slight sigh, she had to speak to Sabinus about what happened, and feeling that the conversation was considerably warm enough now, she began, turning quickly to Sabinus; “Prodromos shook me a little. I nearly lost it… One of those [is]things[/i]-” she said with a shudder “almost killed me. Worst of all, it was me that was going to let it.” He head tilted to the side, the cup close to her lips as she drank more of the fruit juice, turning back to look out at the scourge again. “I appreciate that you believe this to be home, Sabinus, I do. I’m 287 years old - 600 years away from what was my home.”

She thought then of the Citadel, about the attack on it. About her friends and colleagues who had perished in the attack. Looking at the scourge filled her with the same sense of strangeness that she had felt when she had witnessed the destruction. It dawned on her that she had a lot of unresolved feelings over it somewhere, deep down. She had to.

“I was on the Citadel, I was there when it happened you know.” The Asari knew that Sabinus would know what she referred to. “I had a horrible feeling of dread then, and when I look out at the Scourge, and when I looked at the Kett soldier on Eos. I felt the same thing again.”

The Turian listened, his expression remaining one of acceptance. He definitely understood the need for validation and understanding, for he had been lost himself before finding Tanya. ”You have my complete sympathy for what you experienced, I wasn’t there when the attack happened, but I know people who were. The Citadel was supposed to be the safest and most secure place in the galaxy, the place where we could all stand as one knowing that we were there for the same purpose. The Geth changed all of that, and I understand that coping with loss isn’t something that most species are conditioned to expect. We Turians have a history of having entire cities destroyed, hell, even planets, and it doesn’t shake us. We do our duty because it’s expected, and what’s inflicted upon us, we deal back tenfold. It’s why your people and the Salarians asked us to put down the Krogan rebellions, and to be honest, I’ve always expected that I’d find myself in a war where myself and most of my comrades would die. It would be a great victory, something that’s added to our Legion’s banner.” he said quietly, looking over to meet Naryxa’s eyes with a compassionate gaze.

”But I never believed that’s the way go forward as a people. I asked myself even before my term of service came on my 15th birthday if there was another way. Victory at any cost?” he snorted. ”Utterly wasteful and stupid. You don’t throw away lives on gambles or quick victories. I wasn’t hugely popular in the academy, some people called me cowardly because I tried different strategies. I’d retreat, use hit and run tactics, set ambushes… what would take other Fireteam leaders hours to accomplish sometimes took me days. The difference was that those under my command survived, I had by far the lowest casualty figures, and I didn’t needlessly risk equipment. If people wanted a stand up fight or to have glory, I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Instead of going for a killing blow, it was a dozen slashes with a knife. Bleed them dry, make them frustrated… sloppy. My instructors were impatient and those who weren’t in my squad thought I was a hack and un-Turian, but those who were under me grew loyal because we’d win without needlessly throwing their lives away. It’s why, ultimately, I fell into law enforcement instead of military operations.” he said, setting the cup down and looking back out the window, towards the Scourge dancing dangerously outside.

”I tell you this because this is the lessons I’ve brought to APEX, why they picked me to lead a Fireteam. I have the resolve of my people with the flexibility of a human, the compassion of Asari, and the ability to process information like a Salarian.” Sabinus chuckled, grinning in spite of himself. ”At least, that’s what I tell myself in the mirror in the mornings. Tanya tells me to shut up, but we all have our stupid rituals and it’s a goal to aspire towards. It’s okay that you’re scared, that you had a moment of loss and trauma coming back to haunt you… trust me, my partner has her own ghosts that we’ve been working through. She still flinches when she gets too close to Batarians, and she wakes up from fitful nightmares more nights than most people would be comfortable with dealing with. I don’t get a lot of sleep, but you don’t abandon someone because things are hard.” he reached over, placing a hand on Naryxa’s back. He leaned in, bringing himself a few inches closer. ”A lot of people left the Milky Way because it was too painful to stay. Loss seems to be a reoccurring theme amongst most of the colonists, and coming here and finding that our new home is full of horrible monsters that don’t even want to talk before trying to kill us is daunting, you aren’t wrong to fear the Kett. But they are not going to win, and it will be a miserable day of me losing my faith in any of the people under my command before I let them do anything to any of you. Did you know that Tazen and I handpicked everyone in Echo? You were one of the ones I wanted on the roster. There’s a reason for that.”

Naryxa smiled. Sabinus was right. She was glad he had Tanya - even if it was a reminder that she didn’t bring along anyone, and that she was alone. “I’m glad that you have Tanya. It sounds like you both have a beautiful companionship… I think I could have had that once. I ran from it though. Something about us Asari and our very long lives I suppose…” She wanted to open up a little more, there was something about the Turian and the way that he listened and gave himself to conversation that made her feel safe to admit feelings; “I had someone, a human. It was just fooling around for fun at first. But I did have feelings for him so I ended things when he wanted to move to the next level. I would never change anything about my life, Sabinus, but watching my dear father die of old age when I was so young is a fate I wouldn’t want to push on children of my own when the time comes. We live for so long that relationships that last as long as we do are rare and hard to come by…”

Noticing that they had gone entirely off-topic suddenly took her by surprise and she let out a quiet laugh. With that in mind, she didn’t feel quite so alone in Heleus now. She had a friend in Sabinus, and several more potential friends in her teammates. Even the reckless ones - especially the reckless ones. There was something to be learned from beings who lived with such a different philosophy than her own.

“Thank you Sabinus. I feel a lot better all of a sudden…” as she trailed off her sentence, she turned to look at the many people who were going about their day on the Nexus. There was a wealth of opportunity to be found. New beginnings were boundless across the sea of people that had also chased destiny 600 years to find their new home.

He nodded. ”I think everyone looks at a thousand year lifespan as a blessing, but I always thought it would be hard for exactly that reason. Although, you could make some pretty sound investments that would pay off in a few hundred years.” he grinned. ”But I’m sorry to hear about your paramour, I can understand your reasoning, but personally, I think even a few years of being happy is worth it. Even a hundred years is a long time, it’s just something Asari have to come to terms with I suppose. I’ve seen Asari with Salarians before, talk about a short-term commitment. Just don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself, nothing’s eternal, and life’s too short to second guess what feels right.” Sabinus said, offering a knowing nod.

“I suppose the thing of it is, is that while we have these lifespans - they aren’t promised to us. It’s every day that becomes our lifespan, our story. The choices we make and the things that we do.”

“I even guess it’s the things that we don’t do that can come to define us, and become chapters in the story of our lives. We’re all starting a new chapter now, aren’t we? We’re here and it’s time to come together and make something of Heleus.” She felt a strong sense of hope growing within herself, like a plant almost. A tiny plant that had seeded itself within and was waiting for energy so that it could bloom. She turned again and looked into Sabinus’s eyes with a warm smile; “I really appreciate this. I think… I think I’m ready to continue writing my story. I’m looking forward to how it pans out…” Now she could look at the Scourge without the instinctual fear, when she stared into the knots and make-up of it all, it looked like golden threads shimmering against the charcoal veil of endless, infinite space.
It definitely falls under "good for them, not for me" personally.
When you are asking that question.
<Snipped quote>

Wow Alice, and after he's been nothing but priestly to you. How dare.


I dunno man we all saw him looking >.>
"Hmmm, looks like we have to pair up tonight folks - who are we staying with?"

"umm"

"hmmm"

Aeryn - "fuck this" *chooses a room*
His words were so hateful and venomous that she swore his poison would surely infect the others. His hate was so strong. So strong his words were that her lower lip began to quiver, and her eyes fell to the ground. She shook against his voice, and wrapped her arms tightly around herself in a futile way to protect herself. But the damage was done. She had understood him loud and clear.

She wanted to...

She wanted to scream back at him. To take off her own tunic to show him her own scars. She wanted to tell him how the Dorcha murdered her own parents in front of her. She wanted to tell him how she had lived as a slave until she was cast aside like dirt once more. This man was beyond understanding anything that did not fit his narrative, if only he knew the truth. Something had hurt him too, and for the first time in a very long time, Aeryn felt a pang of empathy for him, followed by disgust that soon bubbled back up as hatred for him. Little did he know that if she really wanted to, she could kill him in his sleep. It wouldn't be the first time she'd done such a thing. That would just be proving him right though, wouldn't it? Still, it would be satisfying.

But still she just stood there, momentarily ripped down to a childlike fear. She turned to face her friends. They seemed so far away now, and she felt so naked and stripped bare. How dare he speak of being whipped with a leash when he had just torn her to shreds. One thing was always the same. Aeryn knew her place in this world, it was down below in the shadows. In the confined walls of caves. Out of sight of anyone else.

She handed over her blade, not particularly attached to this one. It wasn't hers. She didn't need a sword in the dark anyway.

The things that her companions said didn't make her feel any better. She didn't really listen, she was too busy trapped inside her own head, telling herself vicious things and plotting several violent scenarios in a desperate attempt to pull herself around from the verbal spraying she had received.

___________________________________


As they headed into the village, she kept her distance as much as she could from the group. She was sure that they were ready to sling her from their party. Dirty little Dorcha were the words that she imagined them tossing her way. She clenched her fists tight. Fingernails digging into the wounds and re-opening them until the blood seeped out of her balled hands. She eyed over the inn she was being led to, old habits dying hard as she quickly scanned for where each window led out, putting together before she entered which room would be the easiest to leave and arouse the least suspicion. It was the central room. It had a bay window above the door. She'd be able to climb out of the window, land on the thatched roof of the entrance, and be off once night fell.

She knew she would be the last on her companion's list to be 'chosen' for a room. She had played that game before. It wasn't fun. What she could take control of however, was choosing the room. She didn't want to have to listen to each member blurt out their petty excuse for not wanting to share a room with the dirty little Dorcha, so she headed upstairs and made her way to the central room with the window before any of them could even utter a word about it. Whomever drew the short straw to have to share with her, well, pity for them.


What a way to spend the day after Christmas, being driven from Cambridge to Derbyshire in snowy conditions. She was cold. Even with the layers of her mother’s furs, she felt the bite of the English winter. She was running late - the letter had instructed to be there in time for dinner, and already it was 9pm. The thought of dinner perked her up just a little, but she supposed that there would be nothing but the scraps left. She gripped the envelope in her hand, it was crumpled and a little crispy around the corners from having gotten damp from a few sploshes of tea here and there.

All she could hope for at this point would be a roaring fire to sit beside and get warmed up. She had been an assistant to Professor O’Connell for some time now, but this was the first time she had been asked to courier something. On Boxing Day no less. At least she assumed it was a pick-up. It couldn’t just be a pick up, she had been instructed to pack some practical clothing too. Whatever it was, Professor O’Connell had not thought it important enough for him to attend. She hadn’t actually read the letter. Maybe she should, maybe she still had time! What if this was all a big prank? Would her Professor really do that? It seemed rather elaborate...

Finally, she felt the car turn off and noticed the familiar feeling of driving on gravel, and she heard it too, that recognisable gritty drag. She pressed her face to the window and got her first glimpse of the Baron’s manor, she had made it. 9:05pm, only an hour or so late. She could make out the figure of someone in the doorway as she climbed out of the car, she fumbled around in her purse looking for something, the letter still in her hand, pressed against the velvet of her purse, as she continued to rummage through, a brisk breeze caught her by surprise, and so the letter floated away on it without her realising. The driver in the front seat coughed to get the girl’s attention, motioning to the door which she had left open, at his request, she bent backwards swiftly and closed the door with her bottom, hands still deep in the lining of her bag. He shook his head, chuckled, and got out of the car himself to grab Florence’s suitcase from the boot of the car, walking it up to the door of the Manor.

“Fiddlesticks, where did I put those things…” she muttered to herself as she started to walk towards the entrance, the cold air starting to get to her. She felt a presence before her, and then heard a voice; “well, Professor O’Connell, you’re not quite what I was expecting..” there was a light humour in the tone, that cause Florence to laugh and pull her head towards him, and out of her bag. “I’m his assistant sir, he sent me down here to attend for him” the Butler noticed that the young woman was missing something, as he had watched her quizzically searching her things for the last minute or so. “Well in that case then, may I help you to locate something, Ma’am?”

“I can’t find my glasses, and I can’t really see all too well without them, I swear they were in my bag…” she said in a puzzled tone and in a way similar to the driver, the Butler cleared his throat for her attention, he made a motion to her chest. She placed her hands where he was pointing, finding her glasses on their chain. “Oh, how silly of me of course!” she put the glasses on and was finally able to make out the details of the Manor, and of the Butler. She could hear talking from somewhere, just faintly.

“I’m sorry that I’m late, and I hope you’ll accept me here in place of the Professor, I mean, I hope that the Baron will find it acceptable.”

________


The Butler led her inside, immediately she felt the warmth and it flowed through her like relief. The voices got louder until they arrived at a closed door, the Butler gave a short knock and led her in, well, she could see that quite the party was happening in what appeared to be a banquet hall of some kind. She gasped as she took it all in, before realising that the entire room had grown foggy. Oh no she thought to herself, once again, a tad embarrassed by herself.

Her glasses had steamed up.

The Butler spoke, and had she been able to see, she would have noticed that he was grinning in the direction of the Baron and his guests; “This young woman has been sent by Professor O’Connell my Lord-”

“F-F-Florence Montgomery, I’m Florence Montgomery!” she said softly to the Butler so that only he could hear, her glasses off as she rubbed the lenses free of fog with a handkerchief.

“My Lord, this young woman is Florence Montgomery, the assistant of Professor O’Connell. She has been sent in his place.” The Butler was still grinning, and he excused himself, closing the door behind him. When Florence moved to step forwards again into the room, glasses back on, she found that her skirt had been closed in the door, and so her step forwards only jolted her back.

It can’t get any worse, can it? she thought to herself, feeling her cheeks flush red, and sadly not from the warmth - but from the complete discomposure of it all.
I went to a Wedding recently and got all dressed up and stuff

Harry Styles - Sign of the Times
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