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Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Mystic Prophecy Chapterhouse - Thorinn, Aetheria

---

He had no idea how nervous he'd been until seeing Priscilica's smile. Through their half-hour walk over there'd been this pressure in his chest growing methodically; slow, muted, but ever present. Like someone had turned up the heat so gradually he didn't even notice until he stepped into the cold.

Graves never could've known how she or anyone else at MP would react to seeing them again. Rael, Kazu- they feared the worst. Thought Prophecy would hate all of 'em, like Luci did. If he was a bettin' man, Graves would put money on Seele thinkin' they'd all be besties in a week's time. But what did he think? He'd told Rael it wasn't s'posed to matter: they had a responsibility to come by whether they'd get the cold shoulder, a quick hug or a punch in the teeth.

Yet he allowed himself to feel relieved nonetheless.

He took a moment by the door to get composed, passing it off as a meandering walk around the study. It wasn't a huge room, but they certainly made use of the space. It was packed with books from ceiling to floor: dusty old tomes, ancient spell scrolls and all manner of other texts filled its shelves. A collection this impressive would've driven some of his party members mad with envy. All he saw was a waste of time.

"We 'preciate your hospitality, uh, Priscil- Pris. You're too kind." Graves cleared his throat, making for the desk. He'd stalled long enough. After a beat of waiting for Rael to choose a seat Graves lowered his weigh into the other.

After a few too many seconds of staring at her and waiting for her to speak up, he realized she wanted him to lead. 'Course. This whole thing was his idea, she was only here to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

He turned to look at Pris. "How're you holdin' up?"

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: City Streets - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Rael's shouting brought him to a halt. Before he'd turned around he knew she wanted to catch up to him. Couldn't say why- she'd shown a remarkable ability to not care about other people. "Don't follow me!" Graves yelled back as he spun around. He wasn't in the mood. Wasn't in the mood to talk, or be talked at, or chewed out for his lack of manners. Anger still flowed through his veins, burning and raging like a wildfire. If he'd thought removing himself from the situation would cool him down, he'd been wrong.

But Rael didn't listen- typical- and came trapezing out of the tavern's second floor to run after him. Graves had half a mind to just keep walking. He didn't. He stood there, letting his choler rise with the volume of his voice.

"Are you deaf or do you just enjoy pissin' me off?"

"What's your frickin' problem, tank-for-brains?"

He'd spun back around before she had two words out and kept walking. Walking with long, purposeful strides in the vague direction he knew his destination to be. It was a place he'd walked by a handful of times, maybe, but Graves rarely got lost. Tracking people down was how he'd made a name for himself, after all.

"I leave you for five minutes and Benkei starts shit with you? What the hell?"

Her questions went unanswered for more than a minute. They just went on walking together through the crowded city streets, with Graves barreling his way through anyone stupid enough to not move aside. He still wasn't calming down. His blood pressure was through the roof. "I started the shit. S'what I do." Graves snarled. "His arrogant, self-righteous, hypocrite-of-a-brother was talkin' out one side of his mouth about teamwork n' unity n' all this other shit, and outta the other he was talkin' about abandoning Kalie 'cause she's- she's normal."

Just verbalizing everything that was banging around inside his skull was enough to reheat the fire. He wasn't even trying to keep it under control at this point; he didn't care who heard him yelling. He didn't care that people were looking at him like some kinda freak. It'd all been too much. Everything. All of it was just building and building on top of each other like a tower of misery up to the heavens and Graves couldn't take it anymore.

"'Cause all this scares her. 'Cause everything that's goin' on is too much. 'Cause unlike most'a our gang of losers, fuck-ups and loners, she actually has somethin' to lose." He turned his head to look at Rael over his shoulder. "Same reason you yelled at her, really."

"I yelled at her because..." She paused, looking at the ground for a moment. "...because she was being annoying. Don't even know why. I snapped."

"Can't stand her either. That RP shit's for kids and dorks."

She sighed audibly as she rose her hand to her face as if she had a migraine.

"It was... I dunno. Maybe Alja is right about me. Whatever. Not like I'd abandon anyone because they are annoying. Does Kazuki really want to ditch the weak members like that?"

He echoed Rael's sigh and slowed in his walk. "I dunno. I dunno what he wants, and I didn't give him time to explain. Said a lot of shit I shouldn't have and now the group's...done. Ain't something you come back from. Better off on my own, anyway."

"How lame. Giving up that easily."

"Didn't take you for the kumbaya type."

She rolled her eyes as she moved her hand from her face, "Never took you for the coward type."

That hit a nerve.

"What's going to happen to those morons without us?"

And that drove it home.

"God, you sound just like-" He threw up his hands and gave a frustrated groan. "-They're probably gonna charge off the nearest cliff like a pack of lemmings."

She smiled, "People like us aren't supposed to be the likeable ones. If you weren't busy being so upset you'd see that. We've got a different job."

They stopped walking. "You're a pain in my ass, I hope you know that."

"Yeah." She moved closer looking up at him as she did so, forcing absolute eye contact. "So what're you gonna do about it?"

Not one to back down from a challenge, Graves held his ground, bending his knees to get down to her level. After a beat of glaring at her he stood back up. "Still not over the ale thing- Imma get you back for it later. For now, there's work to be done."

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Regret came knocking on Andrew's door like an old friend the moment Kazuki spoke up again. He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he was doing, he just didn't care. He didn't care until he saw the other man's face twitching- holding to a remarkable calm, given the circumstances- and he agreed. That was the worst part. Graves could've handled being hit. Could've handled Kazu getting loud back, trying to dig in some needles of his own: that was all business as usual. It was another thing entirely to find the dagger had gone a little too deep.

But you couldn't take words back. They were as permanent as a punch to the face.

There was the apology Graves had asked for, freely given and plain as could be. It would've satisfied, probably. It might've even been enough for Graves to stick around even after this shitshow. He still believed in what he'd said, after all; he still cared about these fucking insufferable dipshits and didn't want anything to happen to them because he had too much of an ego to stick around.

Then Benkei opened his giant God damn mouth.

”You killed them.”

"Don't you throw that in my face!" Graves all but roared, lowering his face down until there was less than an inch between them. He never touched Benkei. He felt the rage boil the center of his gullet. That burning, ugly hate he'd felt every second since they left that accursed hall. "You think I wanted to be standing here instead of him? He's the one who deserved a second chance, not-"

You can't fix everything, Andy.

And for the second time in that argument he was interrupted by someone who didn't belong in it. One of the women who worked the bar had apparently had enough of their shit flinging, and threatened to have them removed if they didn't put a stop to it. He had half a mind to keep going anyway. Half a mind to let her try. Right now he felt like he could tear an elephant in half. But he didn't want to kill anyone. He didn't want to hurt them.

'You gotta learn to accept that sometimes- sometimes things just are a certain way.'

Everyone was trying to stop them. Alja, Alex, even Seele was on the move. Nobody wanted this to go there, but if Graves stayed in that tavern for another thirty seconds he was sure that was how it'd all end.

Adapt.

His hands were up in the air. He was shaking his head, taking a step back. It wasn't worth it. No matter how angry he was, no matter how much he wanted to let it all out on this bastard right in front of him, he knew it wouldn't be worth it. So he turned away, grabbed his belongings and threw them back over his shoulder. His whole life was in the bag. It'd been with him since he started playing and it'd be with him at the end. He took it, and he started for the door.

"I knew this wasn't gonna work." Graves kept his face low, walking slow. Had to keep up appearances, right? Even now. "Good luck with the whole together thing. This group was always a fucking time bomb anyway."

He shoved his way outta the door and into the street, and he was off. He was off to try to fix the mistakes that'd been haunting him since this whole thing began. Or maybe he'd die trying. Either way worked.

That's how you survive.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

'Even if Luci's been insufferable 'bout blaming us for somethin' outside our control.'

Graves knew he didn't believe it. He knew he was only thinking it because Kazuki was being a massive asshole and Graves knew just where to stick the knife to hurt him- that was somethin' he'd learned at home too. He knew just how to hurt somebody bad enough for it to last. He'd been watching Kazu. He watched him during the fight, watched him afterwards. Watched him at the graveside. He'd been watching the man and he knew just how much the guilt weighed him down. It was a terrible burden he'd put on himself and it was one he didn't even deserve.

But that didn't matter. What mattered was Kazu had pissed him off and he needed to be hurt.

Graves got close. Close enough he could whisper it. Make it dig deep. "You could'a saved-"

Somebody else cut in, interrupting him. Benkei, the boy who thought he'd be king. All it took was a glance- he looked as heated as Graves felt. Everything about how he was standing, how he was speaking, how his hands trembled just a little told him their auspicious leader was ready to explode the moment he had an excuse.

He turned, facing the bigger of the two. "Civil." He practically spat the word. "I'on't know what you are to Kazuki, Kazum-something, but I'd step the fuck back n' let him take responsibility for the shit he says for once in his God damn life. He's gonna apologize, or yeah, we're gonna have a problem."

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

"...Clearly she's the reason behind both altercations that had just happened; she'll bring nothing but problems going forward."

"What is your damage, exactly?" Graves's hand hit the table hard enough to knock over the rest of Alex's ale. He did his best to keep from yelling. Just breathe. Big, deep breaths. Yelling was easy. He did it all the God damn time growing up. It was easy to yell- to get physical. It was a whole lot harder to keep the peace. And that was what they were arguing about, wasn't it? Keeping the peace. Building something better so nobody else had to die.

"Its Kalie's fault she cried, did I get that right?" He pushed out his chair before he'd realized it, but he didn't get up. Not yet. Keep the peace. "Its her fault she watched people die and lost her shit? 'Cause I don't know if this'll come as a shock to you, Kazzy, but not everybody's been through the ringer. Not everybody's seen what I assume you n' me have. It takes normal people time to adjust."

"-And you wanna talk about 'minimal contributions?" And now he was up, and a handful of words he didn't really mean were on the tip of his tongue.

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Graves didn't make a point of hiding his stares. He'd never been good at that- hiding how he felt. It'd gotten him in a hell of a lot of trouble throughout his life. Gotten more than one black eye for an off-hand comment at the wrong person. Still, he never learned. Refused to, he supposed. It wasn't like he had some idealistic attachment to naked honesty, or some high-minded reason for his stubbornness. Truth is, Andrew was just kind of a lazy asshole who could get away with showing his heart on his sleeve.

Sif's dumbass brother with a name too stupid to remember was picking a fight with Rael, even after the denizen had broken up the last one and told 'em to buzz off. Was he bein' some sorta blowhard prick, defending Kalie's 'honor?' Or did he just like the look of a fight?

'Wanna knock his block off either way.'

Once that altercation was broken up- by another denizen acting out of character- he watched Seele go stumbling up the stairs after Rael. That put his mind at ease. She was better at talkin' people down; he knew from experience. Something about her demeanor disarmed people. To Graves it was as much weird voodoo magic as the shit she did in the dungeon.

Kazuki started talking again. Talking about being wary of certain kinds of people. About how reaching out to Mystic Prophecy would be a mistake. That made Graves' face twitch, but he didn't comment. He still hadn't shifted his gaze to look at the bard; he kept them locked on the stairs. It took him a little longer than he'd like to admit to realize who, exactly, Kazuki was talking about.

"Stop pussyfooting around it." Graves all-but-snarled, his eyes snapping up to Kazuki's. "Don't have time for that schoolyard shit. You don't trust Rael, what, 'cause she's an ass? Hate to break it to ya, buddy, but so are half of us. 'N she's better than the rest of 'em, too."

He paused, turning around in his seat to face Kazuki fully. A few seconds went by as he allowed himself time to gather his thoughts. "The girls from MP are good people, too. Even if Luci's been..." He sighed. It hurt to be a jerk about it, even if it was true. "Insufferable 'bout blaming us for somethin' outside our control. She's good. Not just-" Graves motioned swinging a sword. "-But, y'know, good."

"Rael, Pris, the...leaf...girl. All of 'em are. Just gotta give 'em a chance to prove it. If you don't, I'm out. S'that simple." It was sort of uncomfortable being this nice for so long. Maybe he should hit Alex to balance it out?

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

"Well, sounds like you put a lotta thought into this." Graves sighed, settling into a chair beside Alex. Teamwork had never been one of Graves' strong suits. He had always excelled in Pariah by avoiding other people- avoiding mistakes he had no control over. When Graves failed, as rare as it was, he always knew he could fix it. There was always an adjustment to be made, a move to practice. But when a healer failed to do their job, or a tank couldn't hold the line, what was he supposed to do about it? And the stakes were even higher now. Those little mistakes could cost them everything.

Still, the proposal wasn't without its merits. There were things one man could never accomplish alone, especially now that the margin for error was razor thing. He couldn't afford to grind out a boss fight. Couldn't afford to get ambushed traveling a road by himself. Something rumbled in his chest at the thought. A deep, writhing feeling in his gut that he couldn't quite interpret.

It wasn't the first time he'd felt it that day.

'What if I say no and somethin' happens to 'em?' He asked himself. Another, much more familiar pressure built up in his chest. He knew it to be guilt. Guilt and regret. There was that attachment again, pesky thing that it was. It had brought him back to the Worg and now it rang so loudly he couldn't ignore it.

After several, long moments of silence, Graves eventually nodded. "Alright." He muttered, looking from Alex to Kazuki. "Alright, you got a point. I'm in."

And it seemed the fun didn't stop. He craned his neck to look across to the other side of the tavern, where Alja- Kelly?- was screaming at Rael from the top of her lungs. There was a drunken, indignant rage in her voice. It was the kind of yelling one only did when they'd been holding something back for far too long and let it build up to a boiling point until it all came bursting out. Kelly was pissed. Pissed that Rael couldn't empathize with what the others were going through. Pissed that she couldn't keep her mouth shut about it. And pissed- if Graves' intuitions were right- that Rael seemed so fine with it all.

Just like that, Rael shutdown. Didn't say more than one word to Alja, just walked away while the bartender dealt with it. What the hell had she been thinking that made her snap like that? It didn't make any sense.

"God damn it," Graves muttered. "And I thought I was bad with people."

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: Laughing Worg Tavern - City of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

"Stay safe!" Graves waved to Rael as she sauntered off. "Don't talk to strangers!"

A brief glance around the tavern told him that everybody from their party had showed up. It was strange how glad he was that they'd all decided to stick together after yesterday's events. He didn't know them; not really. Was one life-changing shared experience enough for him to call them his friends? Graves didn't even know their real names. It was silly to care about this group of strangers. He smiled anyway.

The tavern was too muggy for its own good. If outside had been bad, this was practically unlivable. Like walking out of a summer's day and into a sauna, or something. He was thankful he'd skipped out on any extravagances at Raja's- breathable pants, sandals and an open vest as red as...

He crossed over to where Kazuki was standing over Alex, who was knee-deep into a mug of ale about the size of his head. And he had a bunch of shit all over his face, too, on closer inspection. Like he'd fallen asleep in class and some jokester had drawn a penis on his forehead, only the penis was a bunch of misspelled words and the jokester was himself.

"How're my two favorite fuck-ups doin' this fine mornin'?" Graves threw an arm over Kazuki's shoulder. The two didn't know each other well, but Kazu had saved his ass enough times to earn a little love. He'd only caught the tail end of their conversation, but it sounded as serious as it was awkward. Hopefully they weren't too torn up about yesterday- justified as it would be, Graves had no idea how he'd handle that. He could barely handle his own baggage as is. He was no Seele. He couldn't process all this shit and play parent at the same time.

"So everybody's still around. You two gettin' somethin' to eat too, or was there some kinda meetin' I wasn't invited to?"

①⑨⑥⑧

Alright. Now that I no longer have Covid and I have vacation for this week, I can finally get back to the RP. I'll catch up on posts the next couple of days and then get my own up.

@Retired

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

Pariah Online: A Voyage into the Intangible Aether

Location: City Streets, The City-State of Thorinn, Aetheria

---

Rael was outta the tree with a leap that would've ended with Graves on his ass. He raised a brow at what looked like a book she'd just shoved into a bag, but he didn't comment. Instead he turned away, making his way down the road with long, quick strides. Errands were perhaps his least favorite thing in the world; best to get this done as soon as possible so they could meet back up with the rest of the party. It was...strange, how attached he'd gotten to them all so quickly. Another thing to think about.

"Let's see." He adjusted the bag he had over his shoulder so he could count it all out on his fingers. "Gotta drop my armor off to get it patched up. Gotta get myself somethin' other than rags to wear. Wanna stop by the bank, too, n' see if I've got the coin to find a place to stay- don't wanna spend too long cooped up in the innhouse, y'know? And I figure we'll be here awhile." He shrugged.

His expression darkened somewhat. "Wanted to drop by Prophecy, too. See if Pris needs help with anything. Figure she has her hands full now."

"You think they'd want to see us?"

"I know they don't." He snorted. "Get the impression Pris can tolerate us, at least. N' I'm not gonna stay to chat. But I feel like I oughtta help. Even if its just somethin' small, like pickin' up groceries. Feel obligated, I guess. I know it'll sound stupid to you."

"I don’t think it sounds stupid. Weird, I guess. Never had anyone do something nice for me, so I wouldn’t know."

Graves gave her an eyeroll so massive that his whole body moved with it. "Aside from saving your ass maybe a dozen times, sure."

The pair of them rolled up on the tailor's shop in the town square. It was a fairly sizeable, one floor establishment, with every inch of it covered in some kind of fine material or displaying a piece of clothing. It was so densely packed with stuff that just navigating the place turned out to be a task in and of itself. And the woman that ran the place turned out to be just as exquisite as her wares.

"Considerin' I'm the size of a cow I don't think they'll have anything that'll fit off the rack." He told Rael over his shoulder. That meant getting measurements, talking about pricing and materials and all other sorts of shit Graves was loathing. Still, it could be worse- he could be stuck here by himself. "Maybe I'll get you a gumball and be the first person to ever do somethin' nice for you."

“You’re not funny.” She remarked, following in tow.

It was only partially a joke. Part of him wanted to follow through with it; buy her something- a 'gumball'- so he could hold it over her head and tease her about it for the rest of the day. But the reasonable part of him won out and the words died in his throat, and their brief shopping adventures continued. Most of the places he needed to go were in or around the town square: the armorer was a bit more of a walk, but it minutes long at most. The two of them would be back 'round to the Worg in short order. They still had some time alone. Time to talk.

After a remarkable bout of silence, Graves finally spoke up again. It was a question that'd been nagging him since the dungeon- during it, even. "Why aren't you freaking the fuck out about any of this?"

“Why aren’t you?”

"I'm a God damn mess. But I'm learning to roll with the punches. Adapt or die, right? You, though...I'on't think I've seen you so much as flinch."

“Yeah… it’s weird. I don’t get it.” Rael said, burying her hands into the pockets of her longcoat.

“Sometimes I think I should be scared. I mean, I get nightmares the same as everyone else, but I’m not having panic attacks in the middle of dungeons or shaking in a corner like a baby. My therapist would probably have an answer. Something about compartmentalizing things. I dunno. I guess it hasn’t really hit me yet.”

Talk of nightmares made Graves frown. He did his best to shake it quickly. "You can afford a therapist?" He snorted. It came off more rude than he intended. "Probably better than the alternative, though. Benkei- Luci- they're goin' through some rough shit."

“Everyone kind of broke in some way last night.” She admitted, offering a shrug. “I don’t know how you heal from that. I’ve never been close to anyone. Maybe that’s why I seem so… fine with things.”

"Come on, never? With anyone?"

She shook her head, “No one.”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, incredulity all over his face. "You're serious." Graves blinked. "Not a- a parent, a sibling? Distant cousin? Lover? Close friend? None of it?"

"How do you get through life like that?"

“I don’t know. Only childhood friends I ever knew were in manga.” She half-laughed, obviously trying to keep a strong face through it all. It didn't hold up too well under scrutiny.“Never had a boyfriend. Only thing my parents told me was how much of a disappointment I am. Guess they were right. I am trapped in a video game world.”

That last line, for all its corniness, had Graves in stitches all the way to the front step of the Laughing Worg tavern. They'd finished up all but the visit to Priscilica, and he was still undecided on whether to go through with that one or not. And Rael had given him plenty more to think on. He almost continued. He was close to spilling more about himself than he had to anyone whose last name wasn't Gray. But they were at the Worg, now, and what Andrew was good telling Rael certainly wasn't for anyone else in the party to hear.

So they stepped inside to join the others.