Teyao

Pariah

NPC: Bacchus

Name | ???????
Alias | Bacchus (Given by Dianus)
Age | 30-35
Gender | Male
Appearance | A man of European descent, long and unkempt blonde hair and beard of the same color, tends to use sweatpants and comfortable clothes, gives the impression that he doens't care for his appearance but still cares for his basic hygiene.
Notoriety | Wanted
Danger Level/Variant Type | Class 4/ Distortionist
Abilities | Madness field (Nysa)
-Bacchus Variancy manifest itself as a dome (Nysa) of 20 meters in diameter which -if left fully form- completly breaks all known rules of physics inside itself.
-Inside it everything any person imagines of can become real as long as it has some sort of logic behind it, no matter how ilogical or farfetched it may be.
-The reason he is wanted by NOVA and sequestred himsel inside a bunker (was isolated?) is because for every person caught inside the field Nysa grows 5 meters in diameter.
-Bacchus has some control over it but in high stress situations it activates automatically.
*Nysa has limitations however:
-Everything that happens inside becomes undone once someone leaves Nysa, with the exception of death.
-Everything that happens inside is self contained and doesn´t affect the world outside its boundry.
-It takes exaclty 7.0115 hours to fully form

[Temperament & Lifestyle]
Affiliation | None?
Personality/Habits | A lazy bum who prefers to relax and live in excess rather than do domething productive, exactly how much of this is innate and how much is born due to his circumstances is unknown. Quick to anger and equally quick to forgive he is usually cheerful as long as he doesn't feel threatened in any way.
Occupation/Trade | Freelancer
Skills/Talents | General computer skills and a surprisingly good head for numbers, gardening and accounting.
Other | Lives in an underground bunker with a door firmly shut, said bunker is selfsustaining however it offers little in the way of mundane comforts. It has running water, a functioning greenhouse, a waste disposal system and internet conection.

Pariah

just experimenting with the header also to save it for later use

edit, well damn something is not working

managed to get it working

I Reincarnated into the World of an Otome Game, But———?! (Now Accepting)

@Teyao: Right. Form analysis:

• Personality. It's short. Like, really short. These three sentences alone don't give enough information about the character in my opinion; it's way too generalized and doesn't really build upon what little groundwork is set. Nothing plays into the way that the character is conceptualized beyond being a bit... 'Tropey', per se? That's also not getting into how hollow it feels without that elaboration; all three sentences feel like they want to 'start' explaining how the character acts, but none of them actually DO anything with that lead-in.
• Abilities and Skills. Undefined charm magic which he excels at? No. No. No. Absolutely not. Things like that are a one-way ticket to removing agency from other players' hands and possibly forcing their actions, and without any clear boundaries or limitations (or some sort of conversation defining them) I will always deny that on principle. That rule applies here as well.
• A general thing before getting into detail here: Every single 'paragraph' here is a sentence. A single sentence. Each. By definition, yes, a sentence can be a paragraph, but none of those 'ideas' at the core of each is ever built upon. Some sentences are incomplete, some run on for longer than necessary, and others still have errors in grammar that would otherwise make reading them somewhat difficult if the readers aren't inferring context or actively breaking up the sentences such that they are easy to digest. Given that we're all going to be reading and writing with posts from others at their core (as this is inherently a sort of call-and-response type of hobby writing), I'm left a bit worried that there might not be enough to gain from a post with this sort of writing to leave others with a sense of satisfaction in what they write—in other words, that the posts might not reach the general standard that everyone else's posts would be at here. This is only my opinion, of course, and I do not speak for everyone else with that statement. With that said, let's get into the next few sections.
• History: Can a) be collapsed into a single paragraph and b) does absolutely nothing in terms of defining who the character was or is up until this point in time (with 'this point in time' being the start of the RP). It's incredibly shallow and gives us absolutely no meaningful insight into the character, on top of the lack of information the readers might have otherwise been able to gain from the other sections. Speaking of which:
• Original Role/Background: Right, where to begin here...
  
  • As mentioned two points above, readability.
  • The backstory itself is a bit... Nonsensical? To sum it up as I see it: the son of a viscount, at the age of ten, sneaks out to watch a wandering troupe. Without any context as to why their son would be interested in dance all of a sudden, his parents sign him up for dancing—presumably ballroom dancing, as he is still nobility, and not any of the dances of the 'common folk' or those from 'more exotic lands' which I would have assumed he would have seen instead—but somehow see that he cares more about 'freedom' (which, honestly speaking, how would you do that with regards to ballroom dancing? Actively breaking the rules of the dance itself?) and stop?
    It just doesn't add up why a majority of these events would line up in the first place when we consider the type of nobility you paint the character's parents to be (that is, to say, the type that seeks honor, fame, and status among their peers). Reasonably, he never would've been given a chance to 'learn' what you're proposing in the first place—at least, not with the given scenario—and thus would not reasonably exist in this specific setup.
  
  Needless to say, I'll be rejecting this form for the reasons given above.

@PKMNB0Y

Okay dude, thanks for giving it a chance

I Reincarnated into the World of an Otome Game, But———?! (Now Accepting)

Uh... Yeah, I think that fundamentally that probably won't work out just by concept alone, but... You certainly can try.
In the interim, here's a Discord server. While I can say with a fair bit of certainty that I'll respond here just as fast, this might expedite communications a bit. Not mandatory, of course, but the option is here.

@PKMNB0Y

Okay dude, I re-did the character in a hopefully better positive to join the cast at this point, please tell me if there are problems with any part of it.

Edith: It's on the same post as the original submission

I Reincarnated into the World of an Otome Game, But———?! (Now Accepting)

@Teyao: That... I mean, the problem is that the concept of the character means that I can't effectively judge it in the first place. I'd personally recommend scrapping the form altogether and starting from scratch, if anything.

@PKMNB0Y

Kay dude! I think I got an idea on how to preserve the basic premise (a Male dancer) while changing everything else

I Reincarnated into the World of an Otome Game, But———?! (Now Accepting)

@Teyao: What I find a bit more problematic is how the character just doesn't fit in thematically with the rest of the cast at the given point in time in the story we're starting at (read: the start of the 'game's' story). There's no clean way to integrate the character into the RP for the first who knows how long, and if I'm going to be completely honest here it's fairly unlikely that forcing them into the cast would lead to anything productive. Sorry.

@PKMNB0Y

Thats fair dude and It was in fact something that I genuinelly didn't think about.
Say if I adapted him to join the cast better would It have some other problem or was that the only one you found?

I Reincarnated into the World of an Otome Game, But———?! (Now Accepting)

Ashan Darwish

• Name: Ahsan Darwish
• Age: 18
• Appearance: "My family insists that I need to present myself with a good image", "But I much prefer this"
• Gender: Male
• Personality: An outgoing and usually cheerful man Ahsan tends to be perpetually friendly, happy and blunt in his feelings but sometimes this comes across as pushy or overbearing.
  
  This means that Ahsan will almost always be honest even if lying would be the better and safer option, however this aspect of himself has become a little more lax once he regained his memories.
  
  Difficult to anger and stubborn he prefers to be among friends but does well in large gatherings as long as the atmosphere isn't too rowdy.
• Abilities/Skills: Born and raised as a Noble of middling status he knows and follows most of the etiquette lessons that predominate the kingdom with all their unnecessary flairs and the occasional use of flowery language to stroke or break each other's ego.
  
  But the singular aspect where Ahsan truly is remarkable is in his charm magic and his capacity to use dances to invoke more esoteric effects.
  
  He has a barely passable capacity with the sword as he only took it to practice blade dancing.
• History: Before Ahsan became Ahsan he was Alex, a normal person, someone who woke up everyday went to Uni and then came home to do Homework and relax.
  
  It was by pure chance that he came across a charming Otome game which then proceeded to reveal more and more of itself, quickly becoming one of his favorites by sheer quantity of the content and the surprisingly deep lore that could be found through all the different options one could choose.
  
  The only reason he never completed the game at a 100% was for a lack of time before his demise when he fell from the roof of his home when he was working on It.
• Original Role and Background: As the son of a normal Viscount, Ahsan life has been carefully structured for him to either rise through own merit or to be married off upwards in an attempt to elevate the family status.
  
  Which makes it such a shame that he wishes for nothing more than to leave his family name behind and become a wandering performer with little regards for prestige and decorum.
  
  It all started when he was 10 and a wandering troupe settled in his family lands for a few nights, sneaking off to see them in his first ever act of open rebellion Ahsan can say that was one of the best nights of his life thanks to the people and the grandeur of it all.
  
  When he informed his parents of his newfound interest in dancing they eagerly found him tutors and ways to practice, seeing it as an opportunity to make him distinguished in the eyes of the nobility but when it became apparent that he cared more for his freedom than for the family standing they stopped but the damage was done already.
  
  He managed to get an invitation to the Academy besides the other lower nobility and his character arc without the heroine interfering would be a coin toss between him abandoning his dreams and accepting to become a vessel for his family success or to break his chains and live his life to the fullest.
  
  If the heroine does become involved however his paths become More intertwined with hers to the point that Is possible for him to retain his status and accomplish his dreams.
• Other: One of the reasons his family is so insistent that he inherits the family legacy Is the simple fact that he possesses no brothers, sisters, cousins or even uncles who could take the mantle despite his parents' attempts.
  Despite being romanceable he wasn't a very popular choice despite being a "must-have" party member.

Pariah

Dianus

Name | Miguel Garcia (Real) Arthur Bautista (fake)
Alias | Dianus
Age | 23
Gender | Male
Appearance | Tanned, brown eyes and hair, standing at almost 1.8 m with a slim figure, doest have any distinctive tattoos or scars.
Notoriety | Indistinct
Danger Level/Variant Type | Class 1/Distortionist, Agile
Abilities | Portal making
-Dianus can create portals that connect to places regardless of distance, said portals however must be set on a solid surface to work but once set up those portals will remain active permanently, until he dismisses them or the surface they are on is destroyed.
-Can create and maintain active up to 10 portals simultaneously.
-He can only create portals on surfaces he can see unless he uses Drip.
-His portals can vary in size from a finger wide to a door.
-Has a minor secondary aspect to his power that allows him to always remain orientated no matter the direction, inclination or position of his portals.
-Can not create portals over living beings
-Can keep multiple Portals without the other end as long as he desires

Techniques |
-Drip: Dianus can bypass his own sight limit by creating a portal on a surface then using it as a resonator to create an exit portal on the other side of said solid, this technique only works on materials that are less than 30 centimeters dense.
-Bifurcation: Each portal has an entry and an exit but Dianus has found he can violate this rule somewhat to interesting results, by creating an entry point but two exit ones he can create an exact replica of whatever passes through this portal but after a few seconds one of the duplicates will fade away instantly.
-Infinity's edge: A technique discovered by accident and used only once, Dianus can only place his portals on solid surfaces attempting to do otherwise goes against everything his instincts tell him to do but once he broke this fundamental law and created a portal on the air, it was both entry and exit on either side but it’s edge was immeasurable and it cut through everything it entered in contact with during its brief second of existence, afterwards Dianus lost his consciousness and hasn’t been capable of replicating this feat, not that he is really looking to do so again being sure that the result will be the same.

[Gear]
Attire | When on Variant business he dresses in durable pants, boots and a form fitting shirt, also wears a pistol holster and gauntlets but the thing that really stands out is the big multilayered cloak he wears on top of everything else.
Armament/Equipment | Has a pistol tucked on his holster, a survival knife strapped to a leg, a few spare munitions on pouches by his hips and several burner phones.

[Temperament & Lifestyle]
Affiliation | Pariah Underground
Personality/Habits | Dianus tends to wear his heart on his sleeve and often has to catch himself from saying or showing things he rather not reveal. Usually a friendly person he has developed his charm a little through hours of practice to deal better with the customers. However beneath the casual friendliness exist a deeply paranoid side that is constantly thinking in the worse case scenario
Occupation/Trade | On his Civilian identity he owns a little bakery/home on Brigitte but his real source of income is the business he set up on the Underground as a messenger and courier between the different Variants that join the Underground, from the isolated Architects to the more flashy Vigilantes and even a few Criminals but he abstains from transporting anything on the more illegal side of contraband.
Skills/Talents | A little combat training (Knife and Pistol), Baker capacities and the capacity to always instinctively know his positioning relative to everything around him when crossing one of his portals, thanks to a few years as a courier he has obtained a minor ability to discern the value of the merchandise he is transporting.
Family | Parents, both dead and a little sister (Non-Variant) that he takes care of.
Background | Born from Mexican immigrants Cheistian’s life was mostly normal as far as childhood and early teens is concerned, yes his family wasn’t the wealthiest or the most liked in the neighborhood but they met rent and taxes at the end of their day and they were happy for it.
It all changed when Dianus was 18, a stroke of bad luck or maybe an early symptom of their way criminality was skyrocketing in the city, it mattered not, the fact was that an unknown man entered their home. Normally they would have just allowed the man to take whatever he wanted and leave, their lives more valuable to them than any money they had stashed away.
Sadly this was a moot point seeing how the robber in question was a variant who possessed a mix of metamorphic and brute power proved by his appearance and how the bullets his father shot didn’t slow him in the slightest as he tore apart both his parents in front of him.
The first activation of his power and the only time he activated infinity's edge was at the same time, as he watched the man charge at him, intent on silencing any withnes.
Once he regained consciousness he took everything of value he could carry as well as his little sister and used his new found power to fled as far away from his home as he could, intent on finding a safe haven where he could make a new life for his sister and himself which ended with him joining the Pharia Underground and a small semblance of normality broken only by his occasional Variant activities.

Pariah (Superhuman RP)

@Teyao
Question: Does he create 10 portals as in 10 entrance/exit combos or 10 individual portals that somehow lead to one another?

@Eclektik

10 entrance/exit combos

Pariah (Superhuman RP)

Dianus

i.pinimg.com/736x/91/d2/0a/91d20a8ec1…

Name | Miguel Garcia (Real) Arthur Bautista (fake)
Alias | Dianus
Age | 23
Gender | Male
Appearance | Tanned, brown eyes and hair, standing at almost 1.8 m with a slim figure, doest have any distinctive tattoos or scars.
Notoriety | Indistinct
Danger Level/Variant Type | Class 1/Distortionist, Agile
Abilities | Portal making
-Dianus can create portals that connect to places regardless of distance, said portals however must be set on a solid surface to work but once set up those portals will remain active permanently, until he dismisses them or the surface they are on is destroyed.
-Can create and maintain active up to 10 portals simultaneously.
-He can only create portals on surfaces he can see unless he uses Drip.
-His portals can vary in size from a finger wide to a door.
-Has a minor secondary aspect to his power that allows him to always remain orientated no matter the direction, inclination or position of his portals.

Techniques |
-Drip: Dianus can bypass his own sight limit by creating a portal on a surface then using it as a resonator to create an exit portal on the other side of said solid, this technique only works on materials that are less than 30 centimeters dense.
-Duality: Each portal has an entry and an exit but Dianus has found he can violate this rule somewhat to interesting results, by creating an entry point but two exit ones he can create an exact replica of whatever passes through this portal but after a few seconds one of the duplicates will fade away instantly.
-Infinity's edge: A technique discovered by accident and used only once, Dianus can only place his portals on solid surfaces attempting to do otherwise goes against everything his instincts tell him to do but once he broke this fundamental law and created a portal on the air, it was both entry and exit on either side but it’s edge was immeasurable and it cut through everything it entered in contact with during its brief second of existence, afterwards Dianus lost his consciousness and hasn’t been capable of replicating this feat, not that he is really looking to do so again being sure that the result will be the same.

[Gear]
Attire | When on Variant business he dresses in durable pants, boots and a form fitting shirt, also wears a pistol holster and gauntlets but the thing that really stands out is the big multilayered cloak he wears on top of everything else.
Armament/Equipment | Has a pistol tucked on his holster, a survival knife strapped to a leg, a few spare munitions on pouches by his hips and several burner phones.

[Temperament & Lifestyle]
Affiliation | Pariah Underground
Personality/Habits | Dianus tends to wear his heart on his sleeve and often has to catch himself from saying or showing things he rather not reveal. Usually a friendly person he has developed his charm a little through hours of practice to deal better with the customers.
Occupation/Trade | On his Civilian identity he own a little bakery/home on Brigitte but his real source of income is the business he set up on the underground as messenger and courier between the different Variants that join the Underground, from the isolated Architects to the more flashy Vigilantes and even a few Criminals but he abstains from transporting anything on the more illegal side of contraband.
Skills/Talents | A little combat training (Knife and Pistol), Baker capacities and the capacity to always instinctively know which way are the cardinal directions as well as up and down, thanks to a few years as a courier he has obtained a minor ability to discern the value of the merchandise he is transporting.
Family | Parents, both dead and a little sister (Non-Variant) that he takes care of.
Background | Born from Mexican immigrants Cheistian’s life was mostly normal as far as childhood and early teens is concerned, yes his family wasn’t the wealthiest or the most liked in the neighborhood but they met rent and taxes at the end of their day and they were happy for it.
It all changed when Dianus was 18, a stroke of bad luck or maybe an early symptom of their way criminality was skyrocketing in the city, it mattered not, the fact was that an unknown man entered their home. Normally they would have just allowed the man to take whatever he wanted and leave, their lives more valuable to them than any money they had stashed away.
Sadly this was a moot point seeing how the robber in question was a variant who possessed a mix of metamorphic and brute power proved by his appearance and how the bullets his father shot didn’t slow him in the slightest as he tore apart both his parents in front of him.
The first activation of his power and the only time he activated infinity's edge was at the same time, as he watched the man charge at him, intent on silencing any withnes.
Once he regained consciousness he took everything of value he could carry as well as his little sister and used his new found power to fled as far away from his home as he could, intent on finding a safe haven where he could make a new life for his sister and himself which ended with him joining the Pharia Underground and a small semblance of normality broken only by his occasional Variant activities.

Oh damn I missed the last post

Also @Eclektik is this okay or ahould I nerf/remove something?