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Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: Okay, I apologize for failing to look over the whole bio properly now aside from the specific details that stood out to me.

But I'm not certain any further recommendations would have him fit into the plot for this RP very neatly, and I can't really support multiple character groups as a single GM.

I apologize for my failure in terms of bio analysis, I've actually been sort of preoccupied with some other stuff and thus I screwed up here.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Searat: Hmmm, I think I could go with the personality being a bit more fleshed out at least, and I do want to point out Alhein's not a city or territory, it's a paramilitary organization operating in any territories that give it permission.

@Dead Cruiser: I'm going to be honest and say something I've been a little hesitant to: I still kind of want to see @Bartimaeus's take on the idea before I go ahead.

Since your ideas are so close to one another, I think it's fair to see both.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

Sorry for the delay, I'll take a look at everything soon!

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: I'm still a little groggy from waking up late, but something else that immediately stood out to me was the mention of killing people from the Burial Agency.

They'd absolutely respond to that in force if they had even the slightest idea what was occurring and they're not a group you want as your enemies.

Also, I should have mentioned this but I struggled to fit it into the OP and forgot, but artifacts actually have a specific name system. It consists of "Title: Name", giving us things like Killing Edge: Muramasa or First Light in the Sky: Superbia.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: You still went too far with the animal traits, he'd have a pretty normal face and hair. Fangs and some scales are fine, forked tongue is fine. Unhinging jaw not so much.

Additionally you mention him disposing of bodies by swallowing them? Sorry, while this RP can easily get pretty dark I would prefer not to have cannibalism in the main cast.

@KoL: Accepted.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: Well, I thought my description was relatively clear but if it's not I'm happy to try and clear things up.

Rather then a humanoid snake creature, it would more be a human with some snake features. Fangs, a forked tongue, some scales, but overall more of a human appearance. I'm not decided if snake people would have legs or a tail actually, but regardless beastfolk are more human with some animal traits then animal in the shape of a human.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: Sorry, this doesn't quite fall in line with what I had in mind for the beastfolk. Appearances are meant to be more humanlike then that.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Rune_Alchemist: Accepted.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: I can't help but notice all his equipment is fairly directly lifted from Bloodborne, and I think that should be changed up at least a bit before I look anywhere else.

Additionally, please don't involve any of the sages in a character's backstory without asking me first, as you'll need those details to know how to properly include them.

Dawn Beyond Tomorrow: A Magitech distant postapocalyptic action-adventure RP

@Dead Cruiser: I'll have to see when it's a bit more fleshed out.

@NeverEnding: Unfortunately I think she won't quite fit then, sorry.