Avatar of Xaltwind

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Recent Statuses

4 days ago
Went to the big ol' eye clinic today and got some eye-drops. Now my vission's all fuzzeh
3 likes
11 days ago
"Afraid of the dark? ..... Punch it!" - So This is Basically Pokemon
3 likes
14 days ago
Molasses be my name, being sluggish is my game
4 likes
18 days ago
Happy spoopy scawey Halloween errybody, if you celebrate it. If not, hand over yer candy.
4 likes
21 days ago
Gahh, so much old junk in my freezer that I'm never gonna eat... Cleanin' time!
3 likes

Bio

  • I don't use social media, discord or google docs.
  • I suffer from Retinitis Pigmentosa and use a text-reading software to get through other peoples' posts.
  • I'm rude, short-tempered and unserious. I'll likely say things that'll upset, offend and/or infuriate you.
  • I consider roleplaying a hobby and a pass-time, not art.
  • I do anime-roleplay and only anime-roleplay.

Most Recent Posts

So, not gonna answer all my questions, huh? Calling me a legendary hero... Calling him a paladin? Pinching myself didn't wake me up, so this isn't a dream. Or if it is, it's a far too lucid one. So, the remaining options are that I was kidnapped, in my home, while at on my comp and brought to... Wherever this is. Or, I've gone insane and ended up in my own little fantasy-world of mental delusions. The third option would b e that I somehow got translocated througb space-time and sucked into some bizarre, alternate dimension but... That... That's a bit too much, isn't it?

The golden girl listened to the monochromatic woman talk, and didn't move while she was being circled. In fact,a fter having asserted the size and shape of her body, the young lady hadn't done much other than look at her two visitor with half-closed eyes and an unplussed face. She had an expression of calm and absoltue neutrality, neither angry, upset, frightened, amused or confused. Of course, taht was just her face and body, her mind was racing with too many thoughts for it to keep up with itself. Still, when wprds were spoken of going somewhere that didn't feel like the industrial freezer ofa fast-food joint, the woman's head turned slightly backwards, towards Gram.

"Oh, believe me. I'm very confused and very distraught right now, but I don't think kicking and screaming or crying would do much good. Ah, thank you, Wally." The youthful golden one said, offering a small smile in gratitude to the elf who had given her his cookie-smelling cloak. "Going somewhere warmer does sound like a nice idea though... But before that, would you happen to have a mirror on you? I'd like to take a look at my own face." She said, and asked, at the same time.

Really. I really need to see my face. 'Cuz these golden arms sure as heck ain't mine, but they remind me very much of someone I do know. Same with the newly inflated chest and these swingin' hips... But, I can't be sure until I've actually seen my face. Hopefully it's just a trick of the lighting down here... or lack of it, to be exact.
10 Minutes prior to being isekai'd.

"Uuuuuuugh... Today suuuuuuuucked. Jeremy messed up the entire archive with that 'new and better system' of his, and we had to spend the entire afternoon fixing his mess." A woman's voice complained as it travelled from the kitchen of her apartment to the living room.

It belonged to a rather tall young lady, of scrawny - almost waifish - frame, black matted hair tied into a braided ponytail and a who wore a pair of glasses. She was not blessed in the looks-department, with neither child-rearing hips nor ample bust to speak of. Her figure was actually more symmetrically straight than it was curvy in any one area.

"Oh well, at least we didn't lose anything, so we should be able to get back to actual work again on Monday.." She sighed, sitting down infront of a small table where a computer was resting. She placed down a mug of some steaming beverage on the table, stretched her arms into the air, let out an elongated "Hnnnnnnnnnnn!'-sound and then flipped the switch on the electronic device, booting up.

"Alright! Let's forget about all that for now! I need to log on Mammy and see if I won that auction house-deal. I could really use a bunch of Pearlstone Prisms..." She lazily spoke to herself, as if it wasn't a rather peculiar thing to be talking to oneself when there was nobody else around.

Regardless, the computer infront of her had now started up, displaying a cutesy desktop-backdrop with a bunch of kittens piled upon each other in a small heap. The sight made the woman smirk and let out a small laugh. She then operated her mouse and double-clicked an icon that look like a squashed together bunch of letters, etched into a wooden diamond-shape. After a quick loadbar filled up, the log in screen for 'Mega-Online Fantasy Universe' appeared on screen, with the bombastic orchestral music blaring to life in her speakers.

"Alright." The young woman stated, deftly using her keyboard to enter username and password before, ceremoniously, tapping the 'Enter'-key as if she was finishing up a world-changing treatise or something and sending it off to the World Committee...

After scrolling through the list of her alts, twinks, mules and mains, she fianlly selected the one she wanted and entered the game proper. Sadly, the little mail-icon next to her mini-map was not blinking, meaning she had not received anything.

"Darn... I guess that's what happens when you don't stay up all night and monitor those long 12 hour biddings..." She let out a displeased puff of air. "Ah welll, might as well do my dailies before I get started on din- Eh...?"

Suddenly, her monitor wasn't displaying the onlijne game, but rather, looked like a water that someone had thrown a stone into, rippling waves travelling from the center towards the edges.

"... What? Is this... Some kind of viru- Huh?" A tendril then shot out of her screen. A tendril that looked as if it was made out billions upon billons of swirling, rotating bar-codes... The appendage didn't feel warm or cold, sticky or soft, aggressive or gentle... It was like being grabbed by air itself, and then forced to follow its direction... Which in this case was into the monitor... The girl was too confused and astounded to even let out a scream or other sound, soon finding herself pulled into a black abyss with nothing in it...

In another world, in another form...

Looking around, there was only darkness. Black, thick, inky and unpercievable darkness. Even if one put their hand infront of their face, you couldn't see it. There were specks of light or hints of illumination anywhere, nothing to offer the slightest bit of vision - and so, nothing could be seen. Not the surroundings, not oneself, nothing.

"... Did I die?" A voice asked itself aloud.

A cold seat could be felt underneath. Whatever the voice's owner was sitting on, it wasn't very pleasant. haard and cold things were sure to give you a urinal infection, so staying put was out of the question. Carefully feeling their way to one of the edges, the being within the dark carefully made slow movements, like a blind person trying to feel their way around an unfamiliar and unknown locale.

One the edge of the stone 'bed' they were on had been found, they made sure to lower one leg first and make sure there was actually somewhere to stand, before sliding off the cold slab they had risen from. Standing wasn't much different from sitting though, it was still too dark to see anything... But, there was something else now, something other than darkness...

"Voices?" The voice questioned to itself.

Yes, voices. Words spoken by others, coming from beyond the dark. What they spoke of didn't matter, or even make any sort of sense. They were infamiliar, belonging to individuals the one in the dark had never met or even heard before. But they were getting closer nontheless.

With the first crack in the dark, it was like a chick inside a egg seeing the light of day for the very first time. The overwhelming blaack abyss retreated at the luminosity now seeping in, and the voice's master could finally see something. And the first thing it wanted to see, was itself.

With vision restored, the voice's owner raised their arm infront of themselves, and was rendered speechles. Where once a scrawny, dainty arm garbed in a dark blue shirt and pale of complexion had been, there was now a slender - but with fine musle-tone - appendage made out of, seemingly, solid gold.

The owner of the voice and golden arm had no time to further inspect themselves though. For the crack that had let light into the dark now grew, and then caused what had apparently been either a door or wall to crumble. In the new opening, two figures stood. One was a man, the other a woman. Their faces were unknown. Their voice were unknown. And they were either the most die-hard cosplayers ever to exist, or something was very wrong here. The woman approached and spoke, posing a question about confusion.

"... You could say that..." The golden-armed individual replied, only now realizing that their voice was not their own. She paused for a bit, closed her eyes, taking a breath and trying to feel if something was off or wrong... But, there was no discomfort, no aches or pain, not even an itch. "I feel... Fine. Thanks for asking." The golden one replied slowly. "Now.... Where am I, how did I get here, who're you and what's going on, if you don't mind me asking?" The gold figure asked, but not in an aggressive or panicked way, nor a demanding or entitled fashion. It was a genuine and earnest series of querries, asked politely and calmly, the same way one would normally ask for directions to a place they didn't know how to get to.

As the they waited for a reply, the golden one looked around their surroundings a bit more, slowly scanning from left to right, pausing to look at the strangers infront of them for a bit, before proceeding to scan the rest of the area... They then looked down at their own body, and noticed two important things. They were no longer wearing the same clothes they'd had on before coming here, and their ... Proportions... seemed to have been warped and expanded upon.

"Well now... These certainly grew..." The golden one said, mostly to herself, looking down at her now considerably inflated chest, lifting her arms and gently putting her hands onto her own busom. Yup. Those were definetely breasts. Big, stonking, larger-than-before, humongous honkers. Firm but soft and squishy. Nothing like the washboard she was used to. After a bit more of self-groping, she proceeded to run her hands down along her own waist and hips, confirming that these too had changed rather drastically.

After having do so, the golden woman pinched herself, first on her arm, then on her tummy, and finally on her cheek.

"Nope. Not waking up. So, not a dream then." She stated casually to nobody in particular.
A semi-limp satyress was lying in a pile of crumpled shrubbery and bush. Her mouth was open in an undignified manner, her eyes looked like swirls of swirling swirliness as they - probably - stared up at the darkening sky above. The girl's head slightly rolled around on her shoulders, as if it was one of those tea cup-rides at the carnival. Then, a voice called out to the humiliatingly defeated former farmer, and her eyes blinked, returning to their regular reddish brown. She sat up straight, looking around herelf, confused, as if she didn't remember what had just happened.

Then, getting back onto her feet and brushing herself off, Brandy took a bit of time to straighten her outfit and make sure any and all twigs, leaves and dirt were proeprly removed from her person, before finally turning towards where Alice and the now squashed-head bunny were.

"whERE'S THAT CARROT-HUMPIN' SHIT!? I'LL KILL'IM!" A very enraged Brandy yelled, clenching her fist and shakingly it violently in the direction of her werewolf companion. She was almost forthing at the mouth and looked as if she was about ready to rip the head straight from the spine of anyone who dared get within arm's reach of her.

Stomping ahead like she was some kind of half-bear, half-man nightmare, the little satyr drew closer to ALice... And then, spotted the bunny on the ground. A moment of silence followed

...

Then Brandy kicked the dead rabbit. Sending it flying several feet off to the side and into some shrubbery opposite the bushes she herself had landed.

"That'll teach ya, ya damn hole-dwelling turd! Nobody messes with the face! NOBODY!" Brandy expressed her unhappiness with having had her precious mug exposed to potential disfiguring. After a couple of heavy and ragged breahts though, she seemed to calm down a bit and finally turned to her friend.

"Ah... Al... Good work, girl. Ya took down that critter like a champ, yeah! I thought you were jut some brainy book-worm-kinda-girl with a 'totes adorb tail and ears, but dang. You can bring the hurt, huh? Maa-haa-haa~!" Brandy praised, happily patting Alice on the shoulders in a firm but friendly manner. "By thebutt, Al. That... That bunny didn't mess up my face, did he?" She then asked, considerably more concerned and less spirited.

Alice would have many options here. She could tell the truth, and say that all the bunny had managed to do was leave a red mark where it'd hit the satyr... Which would probably fade by tomorrow. Or, she could play a mean prank and exaggerate the damage - which would undeniably cause Brandy no end ot anguish and may launch her into a fit. Regardless of what the werewolf chose, their job was for the most part done now. ALl that was left was to bring the dead creature to Dooch as proof, and then head back to Litroot.
Druid Girl shook her head at the nomad's proposal to get the rats and roaches to fight one another.

"I can't actually command the animals I speak with to do anything. I can ask them for help or information, but telling them to do something that'll endanger their own lives... Well, I'm not advanced enough yet to fully order them around." She explained, scratching the back of her head and looking a bit dejected. Emphasized further by the girl kicking a small bit of stone into the nearby stream of nasty. "Still, I can at least handle talking any of them out of blocking our way if we need to run." She added, confidently puffing out her chest and putting on a big smile, full of determination.

At Big Red's comments, and the newly invented nickname for their nomad archer-friend, Druid Girl stifled a laugh by covering her mouth with her hand. Little Puff? Now that was just adorable, and it fit the cute little archer perfectly too! She'd have to remember to try calling her female comrade that at a later time too, and hopefully get it to stick. It was a shame Lizzie-poo hadn't worked out with Big Red, but hey, you can't have everything.

Reaching over and taking the map from the lizardman, Druid Girl would do her best to read the chicken-scratches and faded, or blurry, lines of their map. To tell the truth, it was almost more of a hassle to try and navigate with the damn thing rather than just venture forth without it! Heck, Big Red were leaving smart little markings wherever they went, so it wans't like they'd get lost anyway. But the former farm girl couldn't bring herself to saying that, so instead she kept directing the party - safe inbetween Big Red in the front and the Steppe Archer behind her.

For a while they travelled west through a passage, then turned south for a bit, then west again. At another crossroad, they kept going west. Oddly, they didn't encounter any giant roaches or giant rats. A few regular sized rats, sure, but those fled as soon as they picked up on the trio's approach, squeaking in panic as they sktitered off to save their lives.

"Strange... We should've encountered at least some critters by now." Druid Girl said, lowering the map for a bit and looking around. "And we haven't seen any bones either, so it's not like the roaches killed and ate all the rats, and if the rats had eaten the roaches, there should've been plenty of them around to get in our way." The nature-specialist summarized.

Something was obviously strange, wrong or very much both of the above.

Sssschhlooooooooorp~!

"Huh?"

A strange noise was heard in the distant dark of the tunnel just ahead of them. It was a bizarre, sloshy noise, like a mix of someone slamming a slab of fresh meat onto a counter while also pouring a large bucket of water into a sink. The noise also seemed to have a rhytm or pacing to it, sounding off then falling quiet for a little while, before giving off another slosh. It was a rather unpleasant noise to be sure though, and Druid Girl could feel the hairs on her neck stand on end.

"W-what's that noise? It's... It's not a sound anything living down here should be making..." She said in an obviously nervous tone. At this point, she'd stuffed the map into her pouch and unhooked the sickle she kept on her hip.

i]Sssschhlooooooooorp~! i]Sssschhlooooooooorp~![/i][/i]

With another wave of wet, goopy sounds, whatever was making the bizarre noise was - undeniably - drawing closer. Druid Girl tried to peer past Big Red to try and see if she could spot the ... Whatever it was... But to no avail. The thing about torchlight and light in otherwise darkness as a rule was that you could see fairly well in your immediate vicinity, but seeing anything far away was as good as staring into pitch black ink.

Still... The group didn't have to wait for long, for within seconds, the source of the sound finally came around the corner of a short corridor just ahead of them.

"... What the heck is that thing?" Druid Girl said after a brief moment of staring, blinking and rubbing her eyes.

She was looking at... Well... A goopy mass of sludge. Just... Sludge. It had no shape or form other than a collection of goo and gunk. It had a strange beige-green coloration, no eyes, no ears, no mouth, no limbs... It was like someone had taken a sheet, filled it with liquid and then made it semi-transparent. Whatever this thing was, it was clearly neither animal nor insect. But regardless of that, it seemed to be aware that there were some lifeforms nearby... And it was slowly advancing towards the group.
With things said and done, trap set and the girls prepped, there was little else to do but hide and wait. The pair would watch as the hours of the day slowly whittled away, with the workers in the fields milling about, doing their chores and laboring tirelessly. Brandy had no shortage of comments and 'insight' about farm-work and was none too shy about sharing this with Alice... Like, non-stop sharing... To the point where the werewolf would later have to shush the farm-enthusiast-satyr so as to not give away their position before their prey even made an attempt at appearing.

The sun sailed across the sky slowly,a nd as noon turned to evening and evening to dusk, more clouds had formed and begun shrouding the sky. It might end up raining during the night, or at least there wouldn't be any moon or starlight once the sun had set. Fortunately, the red glow of the setting sun was still enough to illuminate the surroundings for both of the girls to see. The setting sun also signalled the end of today's work, and the farmers began packing up for the day - storing away their tools and supplies, with some heading for the barn-like bunkhouse while others began their trek back towards the village of Litroot.

When Alice offered the earplugs to Brandy, the satyr looked at them confused. She then seemed to have a proverbial candle light above her head, and was just about to eat the damned things before she noticed Alice shoving them into her ears. The tanned little satyr looked at the werewolf and blinked a few times, then looked at the plugs in her hand, then back at Alice. She shrugged and then clumbsily placed them into her own ears, making a discomfortable face as she did so... Apparently she'd neither ever seen nor heard of these devices before, and had for some reason mistaken them for those little crisp-bread things you put in meals...

Eventually, after many hours of waiting and minutes of scanning their immediate vicinity, the two girls were treated to some good fortune. A pair of erect, suspiscious rabbit-like ears appeared at the fringes of the farm, not too far from their position. Lured by a bit of bait and the trap set by Alice, the horned rabbit - which was a tad larger than one might expect - made its appearance, complete with Mega Man-boss selection theme and intro-slide-cards. In truth, the 'rabbit' was less of a rabbit and more along the size of fully-grown Boxer (the dog, not the athelete). With moist black eyes, it scanned the farmlands, sniffed the air with its small pink nose and twitched it ears like audio-parabols to try and pick up any hints of potential threats. Brandy almost squeed and spoiled their position, but was able to cover up her mouth and just let hot air escape instead of a high-pitched and girly squeal.

Slowly approaching, the horned bunny got closer and closer, foot by foot, inch by inch... And then...

Flomp!
KABRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

Trap triggered and bomb exploded.

The hairs on Brandy's neck, as well as the fur on her tail, ears and extremities all stood on end, evn with the earplugs. This was the first time she had ever heard something so loud so close up and personal. Her eyes were wide and agape, and she had a genuinely stupified expression on her stupid face. Their quarry was, as expected, equally disoriented, frightened and confused, looking around in bewilderment and not being sure where to go or what to do, stamping its hind-foot hard against the grassy ground and making panicked squeaky noises... Mixed with hissing.

Brandy shook her head, slapped her own cheek - lightly - and thens tood up, arms raised in a fighting-like-stance and, with her head turned skywards, let out some kind of battle cry.

"RAAAAAAAAH! OKAY, AL! LEY'S GET 'IM!"

With speed similar to what she had dsiplayed earlier when going to change clothes, the satyr hopped over the shrubbery they had used as a hiding spot and charged ahead, full speed, towards the perplexed and frightened critter. Hearing the clippity-clops of hooves, the tiny (not actually tiny) bunny turned its gaze towards the oncoming threat. What followed was a scene that would have likely made for a very good choice of a tale at a local tavern.

As Brandy drew closer, the horned rabbit narrowed its eyes. When she just about to get within reach, the creature hopped up - straight from where it had been sitting - and somehow performed what could only be described as a rabbit's version of a roundhouse kick. Time seemed to slow down to slow-motion-levels of crawl, and the bunny's fuzzy eet connected with Brandy's not-so-fuzzy-face. Had this been an action-movie, the camera would've zoomed in as Brandy's face was twisted and contorted as the force of the rabbit's kick rippled through her... But what was even more surprising than this, was that the creature had enough force in its attack to actually cause Brandy's body to lift from the ground, become airborne and go sailing backwards and land with a mix of a thumping and rustling noise as the bodacious babe went and landed several feet away in a small collection of bushes.

Oh, and while the kick was connecting with her face, she let out a bullet-time scream of: "Nooooooooooo!"

The horned rabbit then turned its gaze towards where Alice and Brandy had been hiding, spotting the werewolf. Its face and eyes seemd to be saying: 'Well? Come get some!' or something along those lines. Meandwhile, Brandy was lying rather unceremoniously on her back in a crumpled fashion, with eyes spinning and a mix of shock, horror and confusion plastered on her face.

At the Adventurers' Guild...

The receptionist merely looked at the large lizardman with a blank, unplussed face. This wasn't the first time she'd had to deal with someone questioning policies or how the guild ran their operations - and it wouldn't be the last time either. Internally, she made a snide remark about the brutish-looking muscle-lizard making a comment about others' intellgience, but being the professional she was, that neither showed up in her eyes, on her face or in her voice when she eventually replied.

"You're welcome to file a complaint and ask to to see the Guild Master, but I doubt that'd accomplish much. Whether you think your group is up to a task or not is, to be honest, completely irrelevant to the guild. We have rules and policies that everyone who joins has to follow, and they're there to make things run smoothly and fairly. If you don't find them to your liking..." She adjusted ehr glasses. "... Maybe you should find a less restrictive vocation. I hear mercenaries get to do things as they please." The girl finished, before returning to her work.

Of course, the suggestion was a not so subtly veiled comment. Mercenaries, after all, were notably known for being unscrupulous and mongey-grubbing thugs who were barely better than bandits or highwaymen. Of course, there wasn't any doubt that someone like Big Red, with his prowess, skill and large bulk would be quite well-suited to such a job.

At the latrine...

The druid listened to the archer's tale of woe. It was a rather unfortunate story, but not one that was uncommon. Many young adventurers assumed that, as far as quests go, crawling through the sewers and slaying rats and bugs was about as easy as it got... Failing to realize that they would be in an enclosed spae whrre their enemy had a vast home-field advantage, were mroe familiar with the enviroment and there being a lack of directions to choose from would put most unskilled or inexperienced would-be-adventurers at a massive disadvantage.

The tanned girl remembered her own, very first foray into the subterranean pits of Palisade Town. Luckily, she'd gone with two experienced adventurers at the time, along with one fresh noobie like herself, and managed to come out on top. Still, it had been an... Unpleasant... Experience, to say the least. Rats weren't a problem for her, but bugs... Bugs were hard to communicate with, even for a druid. They had a very fundamentally different view and thought-process when compared to mammals, birds or other such creatures. Not to mention trying to deal with a big swarm was just plain impossible.

Still, she felt that the poor nomad had gotten a really raw deal on her trip, so she offered a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry! I've been down there before, and remember that I can alwaysjust talk to the rats if we need." She stated, a bit boastful and thumping her plump chest while letting out a proud 'Ehe~!' as if to emphasize her abilities.

With Big Red showing up and offering his sage advice, and a head-pat for Steppe Archer, the druid simply smiled.

"Yeah. We're all set to head down. Oh, and thanks for the stems, but I'll be fine." Druid Girl replied, before taking the plants that her Archer-friend had picked and stowed than in her pouch. She prefered not to have tickling straws stuck in her nostrils while trying to concentrate.

When all was finally said and done, and everyone was ready, the time acme to head on down. Inside the latrine, against one of the far-end walls, there was a large door. This sturdy piece of wood had an old, crusty iron ring on it, meant for pulling. Getting the creaky and heavy thing open would've been a small feat of endurance and strength for either of the girls, though Big Red likely would've found it little more than a minor nuisance to force open. Beyond the door, there was a straight stairway leading downwards into the dark, dank and quite pungent nether-recesses of the settlement.

Going down, they would find themselves stepping through a rusty iron-barred door, similar to one found in a prison or cell. the whine from the door resounded and ehcoed through the otherwise largely quiet underground, only muffled by the sound of running sewage and water. As one would expect, for those without pleasant-smelling-straws up their nose, the scent of feces, mold, amonia, wet masonry and other unpleasant aromas filled the air. Druid Girl's nose twitched and she made a disconent grimace before stepping onto one of the underground sidewalks. She looked around in the dim darkness and then turned to her allies.

"Last time I was down here, our group travelled south and west, I think. We took down a few rats and a bunch of bugs, but I imagine those've all reopulated by now. Still, we should avoid heading to any cisterns or places with narrow catwalks or lots of ... Liquid..." She stated. "Oh, and avoid shouting or making loud noises, like running or stomping. The more sound we make, the more likely we'll end up drawing a large group of insects... They, uh... They tend to identify sound with food..." She trailed off before shaking her head. "So, which way to go first?"

At their current location, there was actually any direction to choose from. A path going north, west, east and south were all present, so really, it all came down to whatever Big Red and Steppe Archer would be best. Or whatever that map Big Red got from the guild might suggest.
At Alice's questioning of the farmhands, she'd learn taht the rabbit apparnelty either showed up near the north and west edges of the farm, usually at dawn or dusk. There were isolated incidents where it'd shown up elsewhere and at different, other times of day, but generally the previous testimonies seemed to be the general agreed-upon consensus aamongst the workers.

When Alice got down on all fours and started sniffing about, Brandy couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and let out a stifled, snorting chuckle briefly. It was the first time she saw the otherwise cool, calm and pro-like Alice get down and dirty and looking like she had a good time while doing it. Completely different from the whole Francoise-disaster, where the other girl had looked like she was ready to cry and sink through the earth. This put a smile on the little satyrss' face.

"Sure, sounds good, Al!" Brandy exclaimed, once the alchemist-werewolf relayed that she had figured out(?) where they should be heading. "Although, looking at this farm..." Brandy paused, putting a finger on her chin and scanning the area from left to right with a full semi-circle-swivel of her head. "I'm kinda surprised, y'know? They don't even have proper fences around the fields or nothing. We had some bun-buns come pester us back home too, but we at least had a fence 'round our vegetable patches. Are these guys newbie-farmers? Or ... Maybe they're too poor to afford a fence!? AL! ARE WE EXPLOITING THE POOR!?" Brandy's remark about the farm lacking proper fencing around all of its field was accurate. Her outburst about the place's finanical situation, not so much... Most likely. "A-anyway! Whadda e do now, girflriend? Thems folk said the critter shows up at dusk and dawn, yeah? Wanna hide in a bush 'til it shows its fuzzy face so we can pounce on it?" Brandy asked, her face taking on a strangely - and comically - feline-like expression, and she even balled her hand into a paw and made swatting-motions with it.
The druid and archer would find what they needed, including some cheap, thick rolls of cloth, a set of torches, a minor healing potion for each of them and - as luck would have it - Steppe Archer located two options for her inquiry. One was an antidote potion, claimed to cure poisons, toxins, venom and other injected filth that may have gotten into your body. The other was a remedy, which was more expensive, but apparently could cure 'abnormal effects' on the body and 'return it to its natural state'.

Druid Girl pointed out, however, that neither rats nor roaches had venom sacs, and that the antidote potion would likely be completely useless, since the animals and bugs were more likely to spread disease or spread nasty ailments, rather than try pollute their blood with venom. As such, she recommended that the nomad girl pick up the remedy potion, if she was gonna get anything. The shopkeepr also insisted on this, continuing his sales-pitch and quite dramatically over-inflating the power and practical uses of his tincture.

Regardless of whetever the archer got the potion or not, the duo soon headed over to the public latrine, where they were meant to meet up with Big Red. It was a ... Unppleasant-semlling location, to put it mildly. The stench of old, dry urine, mixed with the individual scents of many peoples' unique aroma of feces made it quite abundantly clear tha this place wasn't one that got regular cleaning or maintenance done on it. Druid Girl wrinkled her nose and made sure to keep her face upwind whenever the breeze wasn't blowing from the latrines...

"Well, guess we'll just wait for the big guy now, huh?" She said, holding back a reflexive gagging noise she really, really wanted to make. "By the way, you've seemed awfully determined to avoid taking these kinds of quests before. Did something happen? Or are you just not a fan of crawling around in the dank underground where a litteral town's worth of poopies flow?" She asked, half-laughing at the bad joke of hers at the end.

Meanwhile, back at the Guild.

"The reason nobody takes those jobs is because they get re-posted almost daily. Even if your group clears both of them today, chances are they'll be back up tomorrow, or similar ones will appear. The sewers are a constant source of woe for the town, but higher-rank adventurers don't usually care to take them on, and lower levels adventurers seem to have trouble getting the job done." The guild girl explained when Big Red brought up the notion that nobody seemed to want to do these jobs. "As for taking both quests at the same time, I suppose you could but... I did tell you not to amekt thiss a habit, right? I didn, didn't I? If not, I'll tell you now; There's a lot of paperwork and talking with my superior when irregularities like this are approved, so I'd appreciate it if you tried to not increase my workload for the sake of your own convenience." The polite, but now stern-sounding, receptio0nist said.

True enough, since it was against Guild-policy to take on multiple jobs at the same time, regardless of logical or practical reasons, it would of course cause trouble for the person who permitted such a thing to be done. If anything went wrong, or if one quest wasn't completed to satisfaction, it wasn't the adventurers who botched things up that'd get yelled at, it was the one who authorized them to take on more work than they could handle. As such, while her motives and reasons may have sounded selfish and self-serving, the receptionist merely wanted to avoid both a scenario where adventurers got needlessly injured or dead from overwork anda situation where she got a pay-cut or possibly lost her job for allowing that to happen, even knowing it was against the rules.

"Is there anything else? Otherwise, please fill out tin the name of your group-members and yourself and I'll get this sorted for you." She stated, now back to her professiooal smile and customer-service-like-attitue once more.
"That guy? pffffft... Maa-haa-haa~! What's with that hat? It's sooooooo 'totes not stylin' at all!" Bradny burst out in laughter while her werewolf-friend was pulling, and explaining to her, towards the orcish farmer up on his perched mound of grass. As Alice greete the fellow, he tipped his hat slightly with a nod and then looked the two girls over, up and down, top to toe. Asomewhat... Disconcerned expression... formed on his face and he raised one of his - now visible and very bushy - eyebrows.

"Eyup, that'd be me, lil' lady. But... You sayin' ya'll here from that there G.O.R.E-place? Beggin yer pardon but, well, I thought they'd be sendin' someone a bit more... Uh... Brawny, I guess?" The orc said, with a thick souhern accent even though that isn'ät a thing in this world, while scratching the nape of his neck.
"Hey! What's that 'spose to mean, gramps!? We're plenty brawly! Just lookit these guns!" Brandy retorted in a defensive manner, then proceeding to flex her arms and show off her biceps... Which, admittedly were there, but weren't nearly as impressive as the satyress probably imagined. The farmer laughed though, surprisngly, despite his otherwise serious-looking disposition it seemed he was an easy-going fellow.
"Haha! Apologies, ma'am. I guess that was rude o' me t'say. So, yeah, name's Dooch. I run this'n here farm 'n fields." He began introducing and explaining. "About three weeks ago, I started noticin' the crops on the outskirts o' my fields were damaged though. First I thought it was jus' some pesky vermin, so I had them fellas down there lay out some traps 'n what-not. Buuuuut, instead o' catching us some regular bunnies or rodents, turns out wha'ever was causin' the mischief couldn't care less about some lil' ol' snappy-traps or snares... In fact, it broke most o'em."
"Yeah, okay, we get it! No need for the drawn-out exposition, guy! Just point us in the direction and we'll make mince-meat outta the horned furball freak!" Brandy, impatiently, interjected. Mr. Dooch raised another eyebrow in response.
"Uh... Well, I honestly dunno where that critter be hidin' out now... Seems he shows up on the edges of the fields durin' dusk or dawn, nibbles up some o' our crops and then scampers off before we can do anything. Murray down there almost had it once b ut he got himself gored in the side when the damn thing escaped. Luckily he weren't heard none too bad, but still... That thing packs a mean charge. If'n ya lil' missies gonna be huntin' him down, ya best be careful, y'hear?" The orc warned in a kind but stern fashion. Brandy puffed up her cheeks in response.
"So, basically... You don't know where this bun-bun is hiding and we're supposed to find it on our own? That what you saying, old man?" Brandy stated, both hands on her hips and leaning forward... Enough so to show off a gratuitous amount of her ample chest, which caused the straw-hat-wearing orc to avert his eyes bashfully and let out a clearing-his-throat-noise.
"Uh, uhm... Yeah... So, I'd ask them boys and gals down in the field if'n they'd seen any tracks or signs recently... Maybe ya'll can pick up the trail that way? Y-you won't be gettin' paid 'til I see that horned menace's head in yer hands, ya gots it? Already paid some folk last week after they said they'd gotten rid off the damn thing, but right as rain it showed up the very next day 'gain."
"Hmph! Don't you fear, Mr. Douche. me and AL are gonna pound that fluff-ball and make a carpet outa him for sure!" Brandy announced brazenly while cracking her knuckles... Apparently having forgotten that earlier she wanted to cuddle an d make the thing her pet back at the guild hall...

The orc chuckled a bit and then informed the pair that he had to get back to supervising the other farmhands... Which got a snide remark from Brandy about supervisors not actually doing anything actual 'work' on a farm... Just like how big brother back home used to do that when it was her sister, her own and his job to take care of the fields... Lazy bum. Still, with the weather being nice and pleasant, it wasn't going to be too hard to find any signs of the little scamp's presence, if there were any. The farm was divided into three fields, one to the north, one to the south and one to the west of the mound that Dooch was standing on.

"So... Whadda we do now, Al-Al? We just sniff and poke around the edges of the crops and look for bite-marks on cabbage and carrots?" Brandy asked, tilting her head quizzically. Alice was the more experienced one, and had bragged about her skills in hunting, so the satyr was more or less completely and utterly relying on her friend to take charge of this endeavor.
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