”Uuuuurgh, again! Cheap. Trick. I’ve done. Urgh. Way cooler stuff with time travel anyway!” Bowser wretched as he took his second poisoning of the hour. The best he could do to deal with it was summon Heel the rabbid supporter to get the white furred medic to restore some of the health the poisoning had stolen away.
”I will…. Destroy you…” Sectonia said, giving consul P quite the death glare, both annoyed at how wasteful his use of time travel was, concerned that it even worked like that, but mostly incredibly angry at the pain she was feeling in her lower half, holding her ‘back’ for a bit as she acclimated to the pain.
”This won’t… hold me back… forever!” Ganondorf shouted in a guttural rage-filled voice. Despite the poison slowing him down, he was one of the few able to remain on his feet for the most part, thanks to his Triforce of Power. He took slow, agonizing steps forward, but they were too slow for him to be able to actually go on the attack. And he was, of course, mad as a hornet right now.
”You can… make food… hurt? You monster!” Rika cursed him, clutching her stomach with one hand … and at the same time freeing the other from its gauntlet so she could reach into a pocket and pull out a
bottle of something green. She bit out the cork, and then downed the concoction. Her eyes screwed shut and her body scrunched up at the taste, but when she threw the bottle aside, the long ago acquired antidote had cured her of her poisoning.
”Give me that remote!” she cried, as she thwipped out her grappling hook to latch onto the bed and with thrusters blasting and her mount’s wings flapping charged it with chainsword bayonet whirring and ready to meet the glass. In her wake she left her new war cleric striker, who acted to further heal the effects of Bowser’s second dose of gut rot.
Jesse couldn’t help but be impressed by that Object of Power. The ramifications were overwhelming. But mostly, she was on one knee and trying to power her way through serious organ failure. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t working. “Help me out here..!” She gasped, and the alchemist appeared, throwing down a cool blue puddle of Healing Waters around Jesse.
Nadia quickly joined her in the restorative pool, much better than the average person would be after taking an incredibly dangerous dosage of poison thanks to her regeneration, but still pretty bad. “Little bastard,” she moaned through gritted teeth, shakily exhaling in relief as the alchemy worked its magic. She didn’t even want to begin to think about the logistics of time travel. Instead she focused on Jesse, who looked terrible. “You gonna be okay, Jess?”
“Good fucking question.” Jesse said, strained. It was times like these that would almost remind someone they were just an under qualified bureaucrat with a magic gun and a lot of childhood trauma. “I’m sure…somethin’ll come along…” She managed. The Healing Waters would dry out soon.
Sectonia wasn’t all that happy about having to gather up in the whaling pools, as she worried about some kind of area attack that would get all of them, but the relief from the ingested poison was nice.
"Unconscionable..." Primrose ground out, struggling through the pain. This Consul could travel through time? "Dangerous" was an understatement. And to use this kind of tactic...
Primrose snapped her hands open, Warmth gathering in one and a much unused pyromancy in the other. She used them both on herself, the Profuse Sweat a first and a little uncomfortable but helpful nonetheless. She had to get herself back into some semblance of health first in order to pull off Sealticge's Seduction.
The battle was wearing her out a little though. Even when she wasn't casting a spell, her dances used up both stamina and mana. Thankfully she had an ally that would be able to help.
"Primrose!"She looked, finding her friend in the same situation as the rest of the Seekers. With most of the mecha-porkies handled, he'd slunk around the outskirts of the fight to find openings. Now despite the pained expression on his face he made his way over to Primrose, and she met him part of the way. Therion clapped a hand on the dancer's back, dumping his own mana into her pool so that she could complete her goal of widespread aid. With Sealticge's Seduction used on herself, Primrose once more dual cast Warmth and Profuse Sweat with the excess mana she now had. Warmth shored up any Seekers that already had a healing means of their own, and helped out those that didn't. Profuse Sweat gave all of them poison resistance - and boosted their resistance to bleeding to boot.
All of a sudden, Nadia found her life flooding back into her, her healing factor kick-started by the widespread succor of Primrose’s pyromancy. “You guys’re the best!” she beamed, rising to her feet.
Jesse inhaled gratefully, wiping some sweat from her brow and spitting some blood from her mouth. “I owe you one.” She called over to Primrose, pushing herself back to standing.
"Not at all," the dancer replied, sending a brief smile back to the other two women. She was glad that it had worked out for now. There was no telling if the Consul would try another similar trick, or worse.
"We need to crack that thing fast before he pulls something like that again," Therion said once he'd recovered, giving voice to Primrose's thoughts.
”Agreed. This little child needs some discipline.” Sectonai said, happy her minions had some ways of neutralizing this horrid effect.
Naturally, someone was already on it.
Meanwhile, Rika mounted a one-woman, all-out attack against the bedframe in an effort to breach P’s pod, but just because he’d joined in on the fun didn’t mean his bed was out of commission. The machine deployed its four spider legs to pierce into her and snatch her off the dragon’s back, using its arms to try and break the overgrown reptile’s neck as it did. “Here for a closer look?” P taunted, feigning indifference toward the fresh gashes in his protective glass. “Here, get an eyeful!” Using its spider-arms it reached out in an attempt to smack Rika against the casing face-first like an otter cracking a clam on its belly with a rock..
Rika’s charge wasn’t quite one woman however, thanks to the power of spirits. To each side she summoned a staward guardian: the Agarthan Knight on one, and the oversized Bivalve pokemon Cloyster on the other. Using shield and shell respectively they blocked the arms grabbing at the ship girl, while she sacrificed the drake beneath her to get more time to attack.
”How about you stop taking a look” she retorted confusingly before hammering the glass with her gauntlets with Brachydios strength, and leaving Brachydios slime coating it. Then as her steed and strikers all faded, she spat into the slime, priming it for detonation, before squeezing the Featherfall Rune she had been holding in her hand to launch herself up away from the now primed layer of explosive goop.
To add insult to injury, she fired her rigging cannons directly down at him, causing Newton's third law to launch her near weightless body even further into the air above him, where maneuvering thrusters and grappling hook would ensure she still had plenty of mobility.
What did P do?
Just shy of a dramatic explosion, the goop disappeared, as if it never existed. So did the Brachydios gauntlet-rifle. “Nyeh-nyeh!” P guffawed as Rika sailed away, her big moment completely and utterly undercut. “I stole your snot gun while you were sleeping and threw it in the dumpster! Time’s on MY side, dummy!” His gloating got cut short as the shells rocked the bedmech, though, and with a
harrumph he got back to business. “Now where are my minions? Minions!” The bedmech turned its top pair of spider legs inward and tapped the top of its mech. Three pairs of Mecha-Porkies spawned in quick succession and started running around, just waiting to trip and explode on anyone who got near.
”I. What. How did I not notice!?!” Rika yelled back in confusion, before yelling
”also that’s not my snot gun! This is my snot gun!” before using her maneuvering thrusters to adjust her flight and then firing down at him with her grizco blaster, painting his glass with electrical goop instead.
“What the!?”
A few of those minions wouldn’t get very far. At some point while he was reeling - and then recovering - from the poison, Ganondorf took a moment to summon a fresh squad of Moblin Archers. They kept their distance and opened fire on the approaching Mecha-Porkies. Meanwhile, the King of Evil channeled his dark magic and summoned Phantom Ganon. His phantom-like doppelganger brandished his trident and flew through the air to perform an aerial charge at the bedmech.
That just left the man himself. He was fuming, looking like he was ready to erupt like a volcano at any minute. His hateful eyes now burned with rage and fury, and he charged forward at the same time as the Phantom had. Mid-way there he split off in order to allow for himself and his phantom to attack from two different directions. The Phantom made aerial drop attacks with the trident while the Gerudo himself once again went toe–to-toe with the bedmech, but this time with BOTH his swords in hand. With the gunk coating his casing P couldn’t see the action, but the self-controlled bedmech met Ganondorf head-on. This time it fought more defensively, poking with long-range attacks with plenty of blocking, even in the air. It backed up all the way to the top of the steps before beginning to stand its ground, starting with a thrown head.
While Rika and Ganondorf were tangling with the Consul, Therion got as close as he dared to the bedmech. Its defenses had been weakened once already, but the thief piled on the debuffs putting a damper on its attack power and further lowering its defense. He focused on getting in and then getting himself right back out of range, body tensed to evade as he backed up once his work was done. He dodged a leftover mecha-Porkie as he did, complaining to himself,
more of those? I just got rid of them. He didn't mind going back on minion clearing duty, since a swift throwing knife could detonate them prematurely. While the battle went on, he took care of those that the Moblins' arrow volley had missed.
At the same time, Primrose had been looking for her chance to line up another spell. She didn't let herself wait too long, taking the first opportunity that presented itself to her. Taking aim at the Consul still within his protective glass chamber she let the Vengeful Spirit fly.
Again, seeing as everyone else was busy distracting the robot, Sectonia decided to try to get another big hit in. Little tiny hits seemed to do just that, little bits of damage. What they needed was a big hit. And a big hit she’d conjure. Giving those engaging Consul P a bit of Haste to help distract him, she got busy. Summoning a Chaos shield on herself to tank a hit that Consul P could potentially do to interrupt her, Sectonia began charging another Special Shatter.
With the bedmech in the middle of its duel with Ganondorf and weakened by Therion’s debuffs, the Vengeful Spirit hit it -and P- like a truck. Yelping, the boy thrashed around inside his pod, and the machine itself staggered, tottered toward one side of the dias at the top of the stairs. Nadia, having harbored thoughts very similar to Primrose’s and maneuvered around the opposite side, saw her chance. She flipped over and blasted her entire body diagonally upward in segments, extending
Footloose to its maximum range. Her feet smashed into the bedmech’s upper head, twisting it sideways on its long neck and actually leaving a dent. With a grin the feral snapped up her legs and dropped on the machine with
Flying Screen Door, spreading the web of cracks Rika put in the glass. Finally, her mini-combo ended with an explosive Purrge of Vengeance that knocked it right back the way it came, perfectly lining it up for a devastating cross slash from both of Ganondorf’s swords.
Sparking and cracked, the bedmech staggered and fell onto its back. Its limbs retracted, its spiked hands positioning themselves like wheels on the beds. Then it drove forward, right toward Ganondorf, seemingly asking for an extra hit. His attack, however, glanced off the bizarre machine’s Guard-point Dash, and the bedmech promptly warped behind him. After a quick double
sucker punch to the man’s back - which ended up being intercepted by Phantom Ganon having swooped down and taken the blows instead - it rolled backward as fast as it could, putting some distance between itself and what had become a mob of enemies.
“You jerks!” he growled. “No fair!” Gritting his teeth, P did something. An aching pain suddenly manifested in the feet of every foot-having Seeker present, making grounded movement a bit more uncomfortable, though after the rat poison this honestly didn’t compare. “Hah! How’s that? I scattered plastic bricks around your beds!” He cackled as if he’d committed an act more evil than indiscriminate poisoning. The bedmech seemed to be in bad shape, but it raised its hands anyway to start firing more spikes.
The mech wouldn’t escape so easily however. Sectonia, not having any feet to even use and being immune to the plastic bricks and her Chaos Shield making the spikes heading her way more or less bounce off of her, had a greater charge up than last time. Sectonia cackled as she unleashed another Spacial Shatter, this one not only cracking reality around the mech, but leaving an aftermath of the area being completely drained of color with only faint outlines defining shapes in a white void. Eventually color would return to the area, but the damage had been done. The bedmech now looked even more dilapidated, one of its main arms hanging loosely by its side as it collapsed back into bed form to try and recuperate. Only its head remained out, and it thrashed around wildly with lasers blazing from its eyes in a bid to stop dead any Seekers headed its way.
And then came Phantom Ganon, crashing down from above with his trident. He was caught by lasers in the process, and so the remainder of his health was gone in the process, but that was at least one last attack he managed to get in before he was dismissed and vanished. As for Ganondorf himself, he had begun to run toward the mech - evidently just ignoring the pain in his feet out of sheer willpower and hatred for the little brat. But he paused when he noticed something happening somewhere behind him.
Behind the closer in seekers, some of the lasers and spikes that missed them hammered instead into a wall of bone behind which the light was distorting strangely. Then the wall lowered down, revealing that behind it was Bowser, his scaly feet immune to lego bricks, and Rika, who’s had been decidedly not, and between that and the loss of one of her anti gravity gauntlets, had been rendered unable to stand, and so was presently sitting on Bowser’s shoulder.
She was held there by one of the king’s arms laid over his lap, but was not a passive rider. Instead she was holding onto one of his horns with her gauntlet-less hand and leaning over so her head was above his, biting her lower lip and half closing one of her eyes as she did so.
”Adjust by a few degrees here aaaaaand-” she muttered to herself, lightly pulling at the horn to alter where the King’s clamped shut maw was pointing and then called out
”Fire!” once it was directed right where it needed to.
At the command, Bowser’s mouth snapped open, and a beam of pure white light light lanced out to pinpoint strike the distant head with a flash cannon strike without worrying about causing any friendly fire incidents as it blasted on through thank’s to Rika’s calibrations.
The King of Evil watched the beam strike at the bedmech, decidedly choosing to wait for that attack to run its course. Only then did he resume his advance and raised both blades into a readied downward stabbing motion,
”This… ends… NOW!” he shouted as he stabbed both the blades down with whatever was left of his seemingly limitless strength.
Beneath the weighty blades the glass shattered, and the next instant they sank into the mattress, piercing through the weakened bedframe and out of its back.
But not through P.
The Consul had vanished a moment before impact, teleporting a few dozen feet away. Outside his protective mech now, he stood on his own two feet, and though his helmet completely hid his face the boy was steaming mad. “You actually tried to kill me!” he screamed. “You can’t kill me! GO AWAY!”
Suddenly, the mattress blew apart and giant, oversized
bedsprings slammed into Ganondorf’s torso, launching him straight up. He rocketed away with such force that he smashed through Gallo Tower’s ruby-red clock face, at which point gravity returned to normal, and the king began to fall.
He was joined in his decent a heartbeat or two later, when a second hole was punched in the glass, and for a
Trowlon Striker to be hurled out of it after the plummeting king of evil.
”Get back here and carry your weight you lazy b-lister!” Bowser yelled after his tossed save, but didn’t stick around to see if it worked or not.
After its last hurrah the bedmech slumped down. Nadia slowed her approach and turned to face P, her box cutters in hand. “Give it up, little piggy,” she advised him. “Unless you wanna ‘meat’ your maker.”
“You can’t kill me,” he spat, balling his little fists. “Nobody can! You’re just teensy tiny little bugs. All of you! With your worthless little lives. I’M the one in charge! Master of time and space! I’m immortal! I’m unstoppable! I’m…” His eye began to glow red again, but this time purple energy welled up around his core as well, quickly swelling into an aura. “MOEBIUS!”
Consul P evaporated in a burst of light, and from the ether demonic being manifested. He was five times as tall as P had been, but still rotund in stature, with bulky, futuristic armor atop a dark skin-like mesh with glowing lines that flashed in rhythmic patterns. A ring, almost like a halo, encircled his neck, and in his chest whirled a radiant
reactor highlighted by a lemniscate. The top half of his head appeared to be a crown, and the bottom half featured an O-shaped mouth, full of sharp teeth, flanked by boar tusks. “You know what I hate about all my toys?” he asked, raising sharp-clawed, oversized hands. His voice came through a heavy layer of inhuman distortion. “...They break too easy.”