Midwestern Retirement Home
Then. A while ago
The stench of history, mediocrity and fatigue struck him as he was led through the weaving corridors of the retirement home - until he came to a stop outside a half-opened door with the digits '404'
"Your grandson says he's here to see you, Mister Patrick." One of the aides had escorted him to a bedroom and knocked, unscheduled. The standards weren't so strict for the time.
"Grandson? I don't-..." a voice answered back, then paused, "Hruh... send 'em in, give us a little privacy and get yourself a coffee."
Clancy stepped inside the room, leaving the aide to wander off to other duties. The room was spartan, by the standards of the man he'd known. A battery operated radio sat on a table, playing some
smooth R&B track from a local station in the background. On the dresser at the far side were a set of framed photos, all monochrome. One contained a woman that seemed familiar, albeit a good ways
older than he'd remembered.
Aunt Nora maybe, he guessed? Other photos ranged from a pose with other uniformed marines on some beach out where the weather was
tropical compared to the midwest, to family photos containing facesthat were all too familiar to him.
Mom. Dad. Frank. Judy."C'mon, I don't bite. Judy dropped by with one of her kiddos, guessin' that's where the mixup is?" A gravelly voice erupted from the far side of the room once again, coming from the silhoeutte of an elderly man in a wheelchair, facing out towards the window as a constant rainfall drummed against the glass, "Cos' my girls only had
daughters, but I dunno, I lose track sometimes-"
"Hi, Uncle Gerry." Clancy interceded. To spare the old man's effort in turning he stepped around the bed, until he was in full view.
"Sweet fuckin' jesus-.." he shook it off, "Sorry for the language, you just look the spitting image of my-"
"It's me," Clancy cut him off, before he could continue on the tangent. Like a ma,
"You got me a Daisy 1894 for my tenth birthday, and Frank got your old bike for his sixteenth. Mom threatened to tan your hide when she found out. She'd have given us both the belt if she knew he made me ride that bike too."She
had, alongside uttering a few profanities in her native
Polish, but Clancy had pretended not to understand. It was funny at the time, and a sadder memory still.
Hearing that, it took a moment for the old man to process. Compared to the robust fighting Irishman Clancy had known telling tall tales about his time in the marines when he was younger, Uncle Gerry was a frail husk of a man. Age and terminal illness wrought terrible things upon the human body, and it had struck him in spades. Confined to a wheelchair, his uncle was just about breathing with the aid of a nasal cannula, fed up into his nostrils from an oxygen tank fixed to the back of the chair.
"Sweet jesus... am I-... am I meetin' my maker?"
"No. Not yet." Clancy shook his head.
"Well, if it ain't that or the painkillers, you're pretty fucken' convincing for a ghost."
That forced something of a
chortle out of the boy.
"Guess I am.""Not even going to give your
favourite uncle a hug?"
"I... better not." The old man's heart seemed to sink at that,
"Ghost, remember?""Harh," Gerry snorted, wrinkling his lips, "Why are you haunting
me then, kid?"
"Mom and dad," he began,
"Where are they? The house is empty."He'd been out of state for less than a year, and come back to his childhood home being emptied of anything that was valuable, a 'FOR SALE' sign plastered in an overgrown front yard. Over time, he'd stopped by, but never where anyone could've recognised him, nor where he could've put someone he actually
cared about at risk.
"You didn't read the papers?" Gerry's wrinkled brow scrunched, his head, "No, suppose not. I'm...
sorry, kid," Gerry's eyes shot towards a family photo on the dresser, "Your Da's heart gave out last Christmas. Your Ma was on her own. Losing you
an' your brother like that, broke her heart but she had your Da'. Without your old man, well there wasn't much left around for her, yer'know? Judy's outta state, and I wasn't much use to her like this..."
Silence followed, for what must've felt like hours at either end. An emptiness within him had simultaneously shrunken and grown
more empty. Finally, he broke it with one question.
"Were they happy?""What?"
"After... losing us. Me, then Frank, were they still happy with each other?""I don't know what to say, kid. I never know what I'da done if I'd lost one of the girls, but... it's somethin that destroys a lot of folks out there. They missed you. But life... it had to move on, that's just how we was raised, y'know? Your da' specially came to me for a lot of it, wouldn't say it loud but I knew it was killin' him, and your ma'... you know what
she went through, losin'
her family and
everything else back in
her old country... she kept on going, for your da' and your sister, and the grandkids too, I guess."
"You mean... Judy's kids?" He'd almost forgotten that his sister had a family of her own, now.
One he'd never meet. "Is she doing okay?""Yeah, you and Frank woulda been
uncles yourselves by now, ya'know? Goddamn commies..." The thought made him feel.... empty. As though he should've felt sadness, happiness, or both, but there was
nothing there. The absence felt
wrong.Instead, he chose to change the subject, back to hs uncle's....
situation."How are... you? What's with the..." Clancy's gaze shifted to the apparatus feeding oxygen through the tubes running up and into his uncle's nasal cavity.
"You tell me, you're the spirit." That spouted another sad, bitter chuckle between the two of them. Clancy threw his arms up and shrugged for emphasis
"Well, they didn't warn us grunts, but I guess them Lucky Strikes weren't so lucky, huh?" A wheezing cough erupted from the old man, and Gerry thumped a finger across his chest, circling inwards, then pointed to the tubes running into his nostrils.
"C-O-P-D. Asbestos and smoking, or so the doctor tells me. Could just be the spam and maggoty fucken' rice that did it for me back in the Corps though," Gerry chuckled his way into a half-wheezing splutter, grinning through a row of yellowed teeth as he raised one frail palm upwards, "Up to me' eyeballs in cancers. Had a double-whammy stroke last Christmas too, so I can't even walk straight to take a piss. Y'know how goddamn stupid that is, needing some
little girl to help you get up every morning for a piss?"
"I'm sorry." Truthfully, Clancy had
known his uncle's body was failing, could've smelled it a mile away. The
hunger constantly gnawing at him gave him a sense for when he was around the dead and dying.
Another reason he didn't want to take anymore of a risk than he already had. Self-control was a knife-edge, easy enough to end up on the other side of the coin...."Doesn't matter," Gerry waved it off, "Knew more than a few kids who didn't make it in the war, I got my years with your Aunt Nora until the Lord smiled on her. I'm ready for the pearly gates, kid. But if you didn't know about your ma' or old man, how'd your find me?"
"Caught your name. Heard you weren't well."He wanted to tell him.
So much, he'd wanted to open up about
everything he'd seen, been through, done. But this was not something he wanted to burden the old man with, the knowledge of the things that lay waiting in the dark. Not something a man needed to fear. Thinking
he was just a ghost... that was easier than the alternative, the
shame of it.
"Promise me you won't tell Judy about this?" It would've only confused her, drepening old wounds.
Better she forget him."If you're really who you say you are.... where I'm going.... what should I expect?"
Cold. Darkness. Nothing."I.... don't know. I can't tell you.""Figures."
"Uncle Gerry?""Yeah, kiddo?"
"I remember... good things, with you. That last camping trip... Frank's birthday, even Aunt Nora's burnt apple cake... you were a good uncle. I'm sorry I wasn't there for my parents. Wasn't there when they heard Frank was killed in service. If you can believe me... thank you for being there for them." All of it, he'd meant sincerely.
"I didn't suffer", except
that, his most egregious lie yet,
"It was quick."One meant to spare him the
knowledge, but a lie nonetheless.
One that was accepted without question.
Gerry gave him a nod that seemed to betray a saddened acceptance of what
was. It was his way, the way they were raised, they way they
had to be when they'd been kids.
Clancy only wished he could've figured that out
before they'd both suffered loss.
They talked for a little longer, until the old man finally drifted into sleep. Clancy took his exit, leaving him to wonder whether their conversation had been a dream all along.
At least it was
closure.
Strip Mall, near the House on the Hill
@Shin Ghost Note
Now
A sense of longing overwhelmed him for a moment as he pulled himself from the
daydream that had broken through the orderly structure he'd established within his thoughts.
As he'd said to Luca, it was
shitty. And as he'd said to Adora with even more conviction, there was
no way out.His family were
gone. Save for the
one moment with his sister, he hadn't even been there as they went.
Mom. Dad. Frank. Judy. All of them, taken from him.
Ashley. For a long time they'd been an anchor of sorts to him, a counterbalance to center himself and remember who he was, but they were all gone, and that had set him adrift.
Yet now he was less certain, for reasons that he couldn't quite understand. Maybe it was the fact he'd surrounded himself with people who
weren't just meat to him, who weren't trying to use him for their own selfish needs or step over him like the
dumb kid they thought he was.
The ex-coven people. Ashley's friends and otherwise. Some he felt an
understanding with. Luca, the boy who was rotting inside. Adora. The quiet girl with her own problems. Linqian, the girl who lost her brother. The others, he was getting used to. Some he felt he could trust a little. Others, less so.
And 8th Street were still just
meat as far as he was concerned, Seeing them at the Dairy Queen during his unannounced drop-in with Luca had done little to point his anger away from Emily Reed, that
fucking prom queen.Yet the memory of that
stupid, selfish moment he'd taken with Uncle Gerry near the end of the man's life had been invoked by the sight of some old timer wearing a gold-embroided-on-blue
U.S MARINE CORPS VETERAN cap as he crossed the strip mall. If he squinted, the old timer just
barely passed for his Uncle, if for nothing else then because he was being pushed about in a wheelchair by a fourty-something year old woman whom he might've guessed could've been the man's daughter.
Why had
that of all things been what came to mind?
Was it a need for something?
Family?It didn't matter.
Despite the memory coming forth unbidden, the old man was long gone from this world, his body burned and the ashes scattered across the shores of Lake Michigan by his own daughters, the cousins that Clancy had never really got to know.
Once a marine, always a marine,Clancy had once heard a phrase like that, though he'd never had the opportunity to really understand or make sense of it. One ship he supposed he was
lucky to have sailed on without, although
Frank wouldn't have said the same. You could apply the same logic to other places though.
Once a monster, always a monster.A statement he could've spoken in the mirror, if he was being honest with himself.
As he refocused on where he actually
wanted to go, he noticed that, if the map display on the
not-so-new phone he'd borrowed was anything to go by, the disused bar that Adora had mentioned earlier in the day was still a little ways off. Clancy had taken the opportunity to get
some shopping done, courtesy of some cash from a local
benefactor that had now slipped beneath his consideration.
A new knapsack, new sneakers that actually
fit him and wouldn't fall apart the moment he started moving, and a couple other things that cash could by. If it wasn't for the
agitation that stirred among his base instincts whenever he moved among a crowd, he could've said it was the closest he'd been to a
normal day. That is, if he neglected to remember he'd been
tailing Adora.
At least she'd
listened to him, which was more than what most would've done after dealing with a stalker that had proven they could
disembowel a man in one swipe.
He crossed another block, cut through a small, narrow intersection where two buildings almost closed in together, and came out at the other side of a parking lot. He could see the meeting spot in question from here.
Definitely a big house. A little too obvious.It just hadn't yet occurred to him that he wasn't the
only one on the hunt in this side of town.