Ken, Leon@AtomicEmperor Luca@FernStone Layla, Spooky!Alizee@Estylwen Lila@NoriWasHere
“I'm already in pain, I have already lost myself…” She said. “I've had nightmarish apparitions follow me my whole life. And no way to protect myself. But…” Her eyes slid over to Alizée. “With a little help…”
"You don't get it." Frustration bubbled to the surface. Clancy's expression became a glower, crinkled with disgust. She doesn't get it. He realised she probably wouldn't get it, because she was young, terrified and desperate. She hadn't experienced the world that he had come from. To stare down the barrel of perpetual existence, with no end, no ability to grow beyond the base instincts and needs that shackled him.
He was still aware of the shadow that hung over her, but at this moment, with the fog still swirling over and around them, he couldn't discern it from the rest of the white noise. Instead, he let the back and forth continue.
“You're right. You're absolutely right. I have no right to adjoin with her, and I would never force her, or anyone, to adjoin with me.
“But I would never harm her. Connections are not made by harming others.”
Bullshit. The only 'connection' Clancy had ever understood was not a thing he'd inflict upon anyone. Even if Alizee couldn't realise it, he knew from word of mouth that the connetion between her and the Void Heart had been poisonous at best, a corrupting influence that had taken hold of her at an age where she was too young to know better, or say no.
Considering his own circumstances... it was too close to home to detach himself from it as he might've done with anything else that would've horrifie a normal person.
“Yes… I want this. I want to adjoin with Alizée. Perhaps… With Alizée's help, I can forget about the Void Heart.”
Layla looked over at Alizée. “Only, of course, if that's alright with you, Alizée. I uh, have a lot of baggage.”
Alizée stared for a moment, before her red eyes curled upward in happiness. “We'll be the best of friends, don't you worry.”
-
“Leon's just trying to help… I think it was an accident, but he's injured now. How can we work together as a team if we're always hurting each other?”
-
“You have a serial killer after you, right? I… understand why tensions are so tight among you, and I don't blame you. Death is… a scary experience.
“This serial killer must be the one tormenting you all. I want to help.”
She turned to Clancy. “Even if it's for selfish reasons, I want to prove that I can be better. That I can be a boon in all ways, and not a burden.”
"Whatever. Do what you want. Don't say I didn't warn you. Both of you." His tone was callously dismissive, masking the disappointment and disheartened thoughts gnawing at him.
Even Britney had washed her hands of them, and that was one of the few places where he could say they shared the same sentiment.
Maybe he was unfairly taking the high ground, but if Clancy had been given the choice to inflict any component of his existence on another person in exchange for some relief, he would still have declined. His burden was his to carry alone.
The response from Leon's guest did little to change his opinion on the matter.
"Rousing speech, Husk. We'll refer back when someone gives a fuck... You all speak about consent and caring as if your actions reflect that. Sycamore: You could barely remember the poor girl's Abstraction, yet you deign to decide if one parasite is greater than the other. And then compare her to the likes of Emily G. Reed, or Vashti Nour? Britney's projects? Spare me your talk. You all scream about the Temple, wail, bemoan yourselves as you huddle for warmth...-"
That he wasn't alone in expressing disgust at the sheer hubris of Leon's passenger gave him some small comfort, although that quickly evaporated upon seeing the disgust manifest in the form of the Rot bubbling to the surface, Luca's anger manifesting in the corrosive, hateful wroth inflicted upon Leon's arm. Equally, he felt some relief as the skinny latino boy managed to push it back down, with a little help from Kenshiro.
When the fire had died down, Clancy leaned in, his voice lowered enough that only Leon and his passenger were guaranteed to hear it. A seething, cold hatred gazed past the shadows of Leon's consciousness, his attention directed at her.
"Maybe they'll find out how long a parasite can last when she doesn't have a host to piggyback off. Don't try me."
The silence that followed impied neither disdain nor acknowledgement. If the host heard it, he hadn't acknowledged the warning. It may as well have been an empty scowl. But, in the periphery of his vision, Clancy caught the vague outline of a single, central digit being displayed in his direction through the dissipating fog, a contemptuous chortle whistling back at him.
Fuck you too, he made an educated guess what her answer would've been.
At least he could admit to himself what he was. It wasn't an empty threat, if he was being honest with himself - there was some intent behind it.
Leon alone was a big man, and bigger still in the monster movie outfit. But Clancy had lost his fear of big things a long time ago. Assholes with bats, knives, guns. The nazi with the axe had been big, too. The hitwoman had been a tiny thing by comparison. In some respects, that made him an acceptable target, and he was not certain whether he should have felt guilty for even entertaining on the thought.
On one hand, perhaps Leon was another victim of something he couldn't control anymore - as Luca had suffered with the Rot. But he'd just seen no less than two examples of a victim that had enabled and perpetuated the problem, giving in to what the monster wanted.
Alizee and Layla were not-so-living proof of that now, much to his disdain.
If Leon was going to enable more of the same behaviour, he was no better than them. And that made it easier to accept the idea of stopping things there and then, whatever that meant.Feral instincts aside.
It was the kind of thing Clancy could not willingly allow. It was a violation of every boundary he'd set for himself, and unlike the other monsters, he was still Clancy Patrick, enough to control himself. No matter what. It was perhaps one of the only anchors he could cling to in his perpetual existence.
"Just absorb who'll come, Ruby. Let the chaff blow into the wind..."
Back to Layla and Alizée, Leon nodded his head toward the exit.
"Come, you two. They don't want freaks like us."
"At least you can choose not to act like one." More of that unfiltered bitterness seeped out of him, like raw sewage overflowing from a manhole.
But he realised at this point they had all again become sidetracked, himself included and playing a part in the distraction. This meeting had been, yet again, a disaster. The bird-girl, Lila had a point. Ashley's group simply weren't meant to outlast their original purpose, stopping the snake. Splitting off seemed the better approach for now, until they had a common purpose that could be achieved - stopping the murderer.
Right now, in this moment? Clancy found himself standing with Luca and Kenshiro.
One of them seemed to understand his particulars better than the rest - and had taken a beating in the process, while the other at least had more common sense than most there. Neither of them had acted like idiot teenagers and brought petty arguments into the situation, and in each instance there was an element of duty in what they were doing . They understood loss, and they were willing to take responsibility.
And Luca looked as though he could use an extra hand. While he claimed he was fine to Kenshiro, Clancy could tell he was not. "Prefer being around not-assholes. You could use extra pair of hands anyway. It can't hurt me, remember?"
Clancy's voice was hushed, but there was a faint, concealed sincerity to his comment as he not-so-subtly informed the two of them that he was there. even he came across bluntly. And in truth, he felt he owed the skinny latino for the helping hand earlier.