((Collab between Letter Bee, jordy0403, and Vulkan.))
Note: The primary conceit of this piece is that this is set in an Alternate Universe where Fallout: New York is a TV Show and all the characters are actors. Also, yes, Bethesda produces TV Shows now.
Smoke blew across the stage as a young 19-year old wearing shades, a grey T-Shirt, and camoflague jeans walked with a tanned man, 21 years of age, with short black hair and a fake scar who wore fake Wastelander clothes, as well as a boyish-looking brunette with black hair who wore another T-shirt and trousers.
Sitting down around a table piled high with letters, the 19-year old spoke:
"Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! This is Paradise 'Par' Rapids, Jinx Mayfire, and Alex Roniel from the hit TV Show made by Bethesda and HBO - Fallout: New York! And this is..."
The Fallout: New York Mailbag!Everyone clapped, and Par took out a letter.
Dear Fallout: NYC Crew, that was a daring scene you just made! Alan is sooo wicked and evil, I like him! Also, a question: Do you guys know that you have exceeded The Walking Dead's First Season?"Walking dead? Never seen it myself, but seems like it's pretty popular to me." Jinx replied. "So, I'm guessing that's a pretty big feat? Well, I'm not putting it down to any of our skills, more to our scriptwriters work."
"Heh," said Par. "Let's just say that while there are bumps in the road - we lost a lot of characters due to their actors leaving - we now have a comfortable position in the ratings."
Alex raised his hand slightly "Im just happy to have gotten in when i can. I missed several chances to join one of the few ones that havent died out quickly."
"Next letter!" Par was happy, before reading out:
Dear Fallout: NYC Crew, if this show were crossed over with Game of Thrones, who would win? On the one hand, you guys have technology, including guns. On the other hand, the people of Westeros outnumber you and they have a lot of Magnificent Bastards and other Politicos. Also, they have Dragons, and Winter is Coming. So, what's your answer?"Well," said Par, "I haven't seen GoT, but the first thing I would do is to use my technology to make myself look like a God, then take over part of Westeros, which I will then introduce proper crop rotation, sanitation, and of course, a Gunpowder Works and Steelworks. Then I would take over Westeros with an army of Riflemen, and blow up those Others with Artillery and Burning Oil."
"Oh, and behead Joffery. Everyone wants to do that."
"Well..." said Alex, quite clearly thinking carefully. Should it come to military matters, the majority of the westerosi forces would be conscripts, with the only professional soldiers being the knights and sellsword companies. As the wastelanders carry many rapid firing weapons, such as assault rifles, submachine guns and even miniguns/gatling lasers in the case of the BoS/Enclave, it would be simple to kill a large number of the conscripts easily, generally causing their ranks to break down and run away. The knights would be easy prey for said firearms as well. Dragons would be a problem, however, there are many gifted snipers in the New York Wasteland, and should a dragon get low to breathe fire, it wouldnt be too hard for a skilled sniper to fire a round through the dragon's eye and into its brain."
"...thats just my two bottlecaps though."
"Will have to agree with Alex on this one, especially considering haven't seen Game of Thrones either... man, I really need to get more up to date on these things. Although, I think I'd prefer Par's strategy to Alex's" Jinx said, seeming thoughtful.
"Heh, now for the next letter!" Par said as he read:
Dear Fallout: NYC Crew, that was a bold and daring episode, the one where Par and Alan negotiate for the lives of the Protagonists! I like how Par gives up his dignity in order to save his friends, as well as people he didn't know like Vos! That said, though, I won't lie; we need more naked women in the show! Can you get us more naked women? Love, SomePerv."Well," said Par, "the problem is that thanks to circumstances beyond our control, we lack female actors, and thus female characters. Even then, what ideas for the latter we have only have sex as optional; we want our women to be more than sex objects. That said, though, we will see what we can do to satisfy our straight fanbase."
"Personally, I would like there not to be any more of those scenes, but hey, what do I know? I'm just an actor now, aren't I?" JInx said in response to the letter. "Don't know what's up with everyone wanting that sort of thing, doesn't make sense to me. Who knows, either you're all weird, or I'm weird. Probably more the latter."
Alex shrugged. "I dont know about you, but i prefer my sex scenes consensual. My character's reaction was somewhat similar to mine. Damn if it wasnt an effective scene though"
"It was!" Par said. "Also, next letter!"
Dear Fallout: NYC Crew, a question: If this was a College AU, what would your characters be?"Well," said Par, "I would be studying Engineering and Economics. Also, I would be a babe and dude magnet."
"Hmm... a joker? Heh, no, I'd probably be some kind of sports person? That's the closest I can think of for the Jinx in the series." Jinx said.
"I see," Par then noticed that Alex had vanished. "Well, final letter!"
Dear Fallout: NYC Crew, what is your favorite Shampoo?"Head and Shoulders!" was Par's reply.
"Uhhh..... I don't know? Whatevers on the shelf? I don't care, ok. There we go, I said it, now we can all get on with our lives, people." Jinx replied, a bit slow at the start.
"Well, that's the fifth letter, and so this segment must end!" Par then got up. "And so we end Fallout...New York...Mailbag!"
And with that, smoke flooded out and the two remaining actors disappeared in turn...
@shadowsaint007,
@Madly33,
@Marcus XVI,
@Simple Unicycle,
@jordy0403,
@EvilEdd1984,
@Trevor1001,
@Shadowman215,
@TheUnknowable,
@Lord Coake,
@Vulkan,
@Hjalti.