In the section under Jedi Knight. The construction of his lightsaber. It is implausible that he can’t remember his crafting as an artisan. An artisan isn’t blind to what he or she is doing. Sure, he or she might not always have a clear plan in mind from the start, letting the work shape itself somewhat. But being utterly surprised to see the result and having no idea about having made it? That’s just not plausible.

The choice of an interlocking saber is interesting, but for someone who has been stressed as “not a warrior” is suspiciously specialized. Like a shiny object is… shiny.

As he made it, it should not be necessary for him to study it to figure out primary features like its ability to be split into two sabers.

In addition, he is woefully underprepared to actually use it. It is likely to be a detriment to him at the moment, though I suspect you realise that, given his complete lack of training in dual blade use.

---

Relations. How does he feel about Sish? What does he think about that one?
What sort of people will he get along with personality-wise? Are there any traits he would respect more/less in others (Jedi or sith alike)? How does he feel about Jedi from specific areas in the Orders, like Jedi from dynasties, those who justify their actions with the results getting done, etc?

---

Torture section:

Depending on the torture Koren will be able to endure, especially physical pain.

This sentence is incomplete. Explain a bit what types of tortures he could endure and what he would not handle very well.

He's also on par where mental torture (personal) won't be easy as he will keep his fears to himself.

This sentence doesn’t make sense.

Limits:
I presume the exclusion of this section mean you have no limits on what can happen to him? It would be nice to have it in and state outright that there are no limits if that is the case.

Firstly: Could you make it so that the responses in the “technical data” section are outside the [b][/b] tags?

~| appearance |~
Is talon heavy or light for an Amaran? How different do you think that species is from a human and/or fox in average weight? Feel free to be a little creative with this species as there’s not tons and tons of information, but also keep it in plausible reason and when in doubt ask the GMs.

If she’s around waist high on a human, she’d be roughly 95 cm tall. If going with a mix of numbers for humans and foxes while giving the latter more value, 20-30 kg would be a reasonable weight, based on whether Talon is heavy or light compared to other members of her species.

~| captured |~
Constance = conscience?
Where was she when the Sith attacked? Remember, the main entrance to the temple was not only wrecked, but flooded with Sith. Imperial troops were landing on all sides so as to prevent anyone from escaping.
Went = wanted?

“When I was inside the temple” = When I got inside the temple?
force = forced?

Jedi’s sixth senses extend beyond merely a room or two and distance affects the strength of it. If the danger is within a distance to get to and hurt them in a short period, then they can easily sense it, what type of Force—if any—it is, and the direction it is coming from. Since she’s been a Padawan for a bit, she can easily tell the Dark side apart from the Light side of the force. In addition, both Sith and Imperial soldiers flooded both the temple and the temple grounds to prevent escape so there’s going to be sounds and sights of conflict all over the place coming from different areas. Think war zone scenario happening in seconds upon them touching down so it wasn’t gradual or slow.
Here’s a bit of help: ”Deceived” Cinematic. This video depicts some parts of the sacking. Especially at the end you’ll get a good idea of just how destructive it was.

Umm… The crash of a large shuttle into the temple main entrance, the smoke pouring out, the sense of darkness from within the temple and the landing of imperial troops all around wasn’t a blatant sign of of Sith presence? Was Talon that blinded?
Founded = found?

~| Force use |~
The skill in know = The skills I know?
How good are you with the various skills? What can you do? What can’t you do?
Do you want her to be good at telekinesis? Or just average? Or do you want her to suck at it?
Is she any good at affecting the minds of the weak-minded? “These are not the droids you’re looking for.”
Are her reflexes average, above average or below average for Jedi? (the average for a jedi is well above the average of those not force-sensitive of their species)
Do you see her having any of the less common force powers? (see the relevant guide). Such skills may also be latent (untrained potential) so you can develop them IC.

---

Meditation:
Meditation is the art of calming the mind. For many, that means calming the body and sitting still, but for almost as many this is not the case. There is a concept known as ‘Moving meditation’ that suits those who find it hard to keep still. Basically, they quiet the mind in the same way as those who sit still, but their body is moving while they do it. It could be through something as simple as running, or slow movement of the limbs, or it could be through the practice of a combat form - unarmed or armed. Many of the Lightsaber Forms can easily be practised as a moving meditation. Soresu even incorporates a moving meditation into live combat.

The Jedi are fully aware that not everyone finds peace of mind sitting still, and will have taught her to meditate while moving - its not that uncommon within the order. Her master will also have been informed of her meditation style, and at the very least will be fully accepting of it. He may even have the same tendencies.

Making it clear that she is capable of staying still, but that she really doesn’t enjoy it might be advisable. Perhaps she gets real fidgety while forced to remain still.

~| Skills |~
What other skills does she have? How good is she with these skills?
All Jedi are trained to handle the unexpected and unknown. The sentence about such looks very… odd.
Could you try to fix that?

If she’s waist-high on most humans, pickpocketing is actually likely to be somewhat more difficult on average or taller individuals, simply because of reach. She’d have to reach up to get into any pockets. However, anything to do with hiding might similarly be easier. Other skills that benefit from a long reach obviously are more… problematic. If you’re determined for her to be effective at it, it’s suggested that she has a very fine control over her Telekinesis and could use this easily to adapt to the difference in heights. Even keeping her distance when pickpocketing? Through she would have to have some idea what she was getting, where it was at, etc before she could.

Having a tail might benefit her balance, especially for running and other acrobatic stuff. If she’s got skills typical for her species, then bargaining, evaluation and other trade-related skills might be relevant. It could also be natural and not just learned, through the development might’ve not been happened until she was older or with the Jedi.

As a fairly small being, fitting through small spaces will probably be easier. With claws, skills that require a lot of finger control might be somewhat weakened, but the claws can also help with precision for other things. Like a set of fine pointed tweezers.

To give an example of how her claws could be used for a skill that is not directly relevant to thievery or combat: Claws are sharp. She could easily carve stuff with them. How good is she at focusing on tasks like that? Would that allow her to ignore her need to move at times? Give examples and thought to how she’s tried to figure out ways to overcome her weaknesses.

~| Bio |~
How exactly did her parents die? Who were these people who found her? Why would they bother taking care of her? How did they know what her parents did? How exactly did she survive when her parents didn’t?

What’s a secretary system?

The general mindset of a criminal on Nar Shaddaa is “not nice”. The vast majority are self-serving, miserable beings. Trustworthy strangers are about as common as Jedi Knights and masters are on Dromund Kaas, the capital world of the Sith Empire. When it comes to those who are trustworthy on that moon, the best source is from within whatever criminal gang you belong to (if you belong to one), or from your family.

Also, slicing isn’t something that can be learned merely from observation. And How exactly did she earn that woman’s trust? Provide reasons. Criminals again, aren’t the trusting type because their lives often are always in danger from others.

Trained Jedi can sense high levels of the Force in individuals. The presence of Force-sensitives in a vicinity can also be sensed. On rare occasion, such Force-sensitivity can be detected emanating from a powerful "vergence in the Force". If, however, one who is powerfully Force-sensitive wills it, even subconsciously, they (or perhaps even the Force itself) can hide or "shroud" themselves from detection in the Force.

Because of the lack of precision with those who do not have such high levels, tests are employed both to determine whether a candidate truly is Force-sensitive. Force-sensitives were considered to have an unusual amount of luck, lucky guesses, and correct decisions. Tests of these traits are part of the verification process. Most untrained Force-sensitives still had raw Force associated talents, such as improved reaction time, physical strength, an affinity to animals, weather or certain other aspects of the Force.

Another thing to note is that criminals do know what Jedi are. They also know what Sith are. They might not know (or care) much about the difference between the two, but both are easily recognized and a young thief will be told all about such in order to avoid them both. Few gangs want to attract the attention of either faction.

This far out into the war, the Jedi have generally stopped asking if someone’s interested. They need every candidate they can get, so they do not offer. They instruct. Especially so when it comes to obvious criminals. In their minds, they save such criminals from a bad life. Conscription, some might call it.

She has (to her memory) never been in space, let alone on another world. How did she take going into space? Which jedi training institution was she taken to?

~| Calmness in captivity |~
How exactly does she scout from inside a locked cell, inside a locked structure?
How does she help others escape?

~| Holding out, pain threshold |~
Your bio does not speak of any times she was thoroughly beaten. That others might get beaten up, cut, shot or killed on Nar Shaddaa is quite plausible, but others being victims of such does not give Talon any extra resistance against such.
Why does she consider Nar Shaddaa home, when she’s spent at least half her life in the Jedi Order?

~| Lightsaber combat |~
Height a problem, think you? Mastered all forms, Yoda did. Think again, you should.

~| Prisoner/Sith encounters |~
Fill out this part now, you should.

~| Power in the Force |~
Not all Jedi are constantly calm. There are species and individuals who naturally hold to a higher pace than the stereotypical Jedi master.
The prisoners are not prevented from practicing or exercising within their cells. At least not until a Sith decides to prevent it in the IC. As such, skills will not need to deteriorate in captivity. In fact, the Sith don’t desire to weaken the Jedi. In their eyes, the jedi are already weakened and need to be made stronger, more willing to use the full power of the Force.

~| ST/R encounters |~
Some of the ST/R may have been among Talon’s instructors, especially R, who do not all come from the front lines.
It would not be unlikely, for example, that Gar Halcorr, the grumpy jedi master in charge of rescuers, encountered her.

~| Flaws |~
She hasn’t lived on nar Shaddaa for years. How is it she is still in constant danger from that? Coming to peace with his or her past is one of the early steps of jedi training, for without that, it will be nigh impossible for them to become true Jedi.
Lying is a flaw that the jedi will discourage, but it is not one that will necessarily be eradicated completely.
Other than the lack of calm and her tendency towards taking things that do not strictly belong to her, what flaws exactly affect her while imprisoned?
Don’t forget that messing with the wrong sith will first get her harmed and soon enough end in her either being maimed or killed. Unless of course, the Sith abuse that tendency once they discover it.

How good is she at keeping to the Jedi Code?
Are there any other flaws that might affect her, directly or indirectly?
Does she have any friends among the other prisoners? Are any of the other prisoners likely to become friends?

~| Torture resistance |~
The phrasing of this section is a bit muddled and confusing to read. She is meant to be average in resisting torture?
Which form of torture would affect her the most: Physical, mental, emotional or other forms?

~| Personality/motivation |~
There is very little about her personality here.
Is she brave? Cowardly? Kind? Cruel? Thoughtful? Impatient? Loyal? Treacherous? Smart? Dumb? Honest?

How she goes about lying has very little to do with her personality or motivation. Why she might lie can be relevant to the latter, but not to the former.

Why does helping others motivate her?

If it helps, pick out 3-5 traits then describe them and how they affect her actions/relationships toward others and things around her.

~| Limits |~
Ok

~| Escape potential |~
What Supply chain? Supplies are sent directly by transport shuttles that land upon the landing pad at the center of the compound or wherever else is deemed convenient at the time. That area is also heavily guarded even if you do not count the anti-air defenses, which are actually ridiculous in number.

Anyways, you don’t want her to escape early on, but maybe later. That bit is fine.

~| Ease of capture |~
ok

~| In the future |~
Ok

~| Lingual structure and Grammar |~
There are numerous places where this is mixed up. Many where you clearly meant to put another word. Reading over each section and fixing that will take care of much of that. Some sentences don’t fully make sense, but that should also be uncovered in that process.
One thing is sure, this sheet could’ve been a lot worse.

Grammar:
There are numerous errors in both spelling, grammar and word choice.

You’ve got a bio that seemingly switches between first and third person. As the bio question is first person, the bio should also be in that same format.

You frequently use the word “tmy”, which does not exist in the english language. Whether you mean “my”, “to my”, “the”, or various other things is at best hard to figure out.

In other places, you’ve made two words one or one word two when it should be the other way around. For example, you’ve in at least one place put “atleast” which clearly should be “at least”. In another you’ve got “womprat”, which can only be the animal species “womp rat”.

Later on, you’ve got “viles of knockout serum”. We presume you mean “vials” here, though we question the benefit of bringing such. Unless the dosages are of such quantities as to be guaranteed to knock a wampa out cold, you will at best slow down a Sith or a dark Jedi. You really need crazy amounts to make a Jedi or Sith unconscious for any length of time.

There are also other places where words like “to” are missing.

Vebra is a tool of war. He will do what he is tasked to do, if killing Darth Nysiss is still his mission than that is what he will be doing.

Firstly, its Nyiss. Secondly, why is the mission of killing her being compared to what he will be doing? “than” is a word used for comparisons.

When comparing one thing with another you may find that one is more appealing “than” another. “Than” is the word you want when doing comparisons. But if you are talking about time, choose “then“: “First you separate the eggs; then you beat the whites.” Alexis is smarter than I, not “then I.”

In general, for text like this, numbers are written down as words rather than digits when inside most regular sentences. Which looks right to you? “He had 2 eyes” or “He had two eyes”

Lore & content:

Firstly, when it comes to combating Sith… Unless he happens to be fighting on Korriban, Dromund Kaas or the bastion of some powerful Sith Lord or Darth, he is highly unlikely to ever face any Sith acolytes. They rarely leave the Sith Academies until they become full apprentices. Those that do leave, are either in company of their master (who in such cases is either a Sith Lord or a Darth), or upon worlds deep inside the Empire, quite distant from the front lines.

What is this “Beshkab” you speak of? We cannot recall seeing that term anywhere outside your character sheet.

Jayda isn’t an only child. She has two siblings, twins, who are three years older than her. Not much is said about them in your sheet. Also, she is his niece, not his nephew. Last we checked, she was female.

While I’m not much of a bomb maker I can atleast cook you up something to take down a power plant or a local defense grid.

Since he is not much of a bomb maker, we presume this is more related to his knowing where to plant explosives for optimal efficiency rather than how to make them. Perhaps some basic knowledge of some things that can be put together to make things go boom. Anything else, and he would be a bomb maker, would he not?

When he reaches the age of twelve, it might be worth mentioning how he failed the trials to rise to the rank of Padawan. This would include how he felt about that. Why he failed is also worth thinking about (too weak is a fact, not the sole reason for failure). After the failure, he would have been offered the option to either join one of the Service Corps, or to leave the Order completely. The trials are what decide whether someone is suitable for advancement, not merely a decision by someone more powerful.

In the section where killing a Sith Lord is mentioned. How did this come to pass? Few, if any, Sith Lords would stay on the defensive all the time. Unless they had him pinned with multiple shielded gun emplacements or massive troop numbers focused on the Sith Lord alone (a very unlikely thing), the sith lord would’ve gone on the offense fairly quickly. When Sith Lords to enter the battlefield, they rarely do so alone. What happened to the imperial troops? The apprentices he would most likely have brought?

This padawan he had a bit of a fling with… How did he meet her? What made them attracted to each other? Was she human? Zabrak? Gamorrean?

Where did they meet? Was their fling just a few nights or a longer period? Why would she be attracted to someone who did not have what it took to stay in the Order?

Death:
A Guarantee that he will never, ever die cannot be granted. We will of course respect your wishes and not set things up so that he most likely will die, but as someone who doesn’t use the Force among many who do and who do not agree with each other, he is naturally more vulnerable than the others.

Sure, we can probably find some way to grant him effective immortality through being captured by Nyiss or another Sith alchemist and have him turned into a Sithspawn with no physical aging, but we’re pretty sure that is not quite what you had in mind.

The long and short of it is - death is always a possibility.

Name: Shir'Inilim, or Shiri Nilim when split apart.
Species: Twi’Lek
Age: 19...ish
Gender: Female
Faction: Jedi Order
Rank: A Knight
Master: I have no current Master
Former Master(s): Jaa Iblik, a Jedi Knight (now deceased)
Time/location of Capture: The Jedi temple on Coruscant, during the Sacking
Homeworld: Ryloth?
Trained at: The Jedi Temple on Coruscant
Spoken Languages: Ryl, Lekku, Basic, and Sarchasm
Written Languages: Ryl and Basic

Force Jump - (Advanced) Because of her use of the Ataru form of lightsaber combat, this is an essential skill for her.

Mind Trick - (Advanced) She mostly does Suggestion/Persuasion and can defend herself from all types of mind tricks, to a point.

Telekinesis - (Intermediate) A basic skill, She has good control and accuracy but not much strength with it. She can lift the huge boulders if you give her time but that’s about it.

Ionize - (Intermediate) If she can't disable a machine by slicing it she could just destroy it instead by overloading its circuitry. She’s only able to use it at a short range (about 3-5 feet) or when touching the object, and she can’t use it a lot in quick succession.

Breath Control - (Intermediate) She can hold her breath for up to 2 hours at a time while she’s active, and for 6 hours if she does nothing (like if she’s meditating).

Pyrokinesis - (Intermediate) Outside of battle, she can control existing flame with ease, and she can create a small flame relatively quickly with any flammable materials nearby, and in about 10-15 seconds otherwise.

Tapas - (High Novice) It's literally just staying warm by using the force. She can keep this up for a few hours at a time before needing some rest.

Force Healing - (Novice) She can only use it on herself, and to a pretty low level. She can stop herself from bleeding to death, at least I hope so anyway. She needs to meditate to use this power at all.

Force Stun - (Novice) She can effectively stun a single unprepared target for about a minute.

Force Stealth - (Low Novice) There seems to be multiple versions of this one so, I'm referring to the ability to cloak your force sensitivity and light/dark affiliation from others. She may not be able to maintain it for very long, and after a while it may fail randomly, but she has practiced this at least a bit.

Psychometry - (Innate) She can’t control this at all yet, it just kicks in at the GM’s discretion. She doesn’t even know she has this ability.Twi'lek's have:

• Lekku (or 'Brain Tails') - stores fat and acts as an erogenous zone, also contains part of the brain at the base. Extremely sensitive and a great vulnerability if targeted in battle.
  LEFT= tchun
  RIGHT= tchin
• The ability to communicate silently and secretly with their lekku
• Sharp claw-like nails
• Multiple stomachs - allows Twi'leks to eat most foods
• Under normal circumstances, they have a higher body temperature than other humanoid species.

Whom does Melchior currently serve?


Did you find a picture? Or did you plan to go with a textual description only? (we forget whether you found one)

We assume the reference to Force Sight here is a low level one, simply using it to augment his natural sight (with things like being able to understand writing that is otherwise blurred because the Force tells him its meaning). This low level application would make sense not being listed in the powers section. If you intended him to have more of the unique attributes of Force Sight though, I’d expect it in the powers section...

The choice of wearing optical devices is naturally voluntary.
Otherwise, fairly good.
Hair or eye color, even normal wear type? Currently, there’s only his height and built that is mostly described which doesn’t give people a whole lot to work with when they go to form their own opinion of your PC.


How good is he with these Force powers?
Crucitorn is not a power that is used upon others, it is used inwardly to change one’s own perceptions.
From where is he learning Sith alchemy? A holocron or another Sith?

Considering his natural aptitude for medical stuff, why was he not initiated into the arts of Sith Alchemy earlier?


Some more elaboration on other skills would be nice. It’s a nice start so far.
Does he have any hobbies/interests unrelated to “medical” fields?


So the empire found his home system two years into the war. Was it a spoil of war? Or was it outside both republic and empire?

It might not be ill-advised to note that being trained as a Sith was not a choice. Imperial law dictates that all Force-sensitives must be trained as Sith.

As he was in his teens, he was old enough to have true feelings on the matter. How did he feel about this turn of events?

It might make sense for Nyiss to have requested him as apprentice simply for his aptitude with medical and alchemical arts. Being her apprentice does not mean much direct training or even contact though.

Were there any parts of his training that failed? What sufferings did his instructors heap upon him?

It doesn’t state clearly he went to the academy (we’re assuming that based on the rest of the bio) or what conflicts he had to deal with and overcome during his training. The sith, as stated in the guide, start off purely learning and engaging in activities with low level danger. However as they progress that grows while rivalry and even conflict is encouraged, especially those favored by the overseers. In addition, they would’ve try to strengthen his weaknesses to a point or make him suffer for them to a point so how did he deal with those events? Also, it’s unlikely the academy would’ve sent him to Nyiss unless she asked for him specifically, but rather just showed him the door and let him do as he pleased.


How skilled is he with the lightsaber and the forms? Does he practice something close to “pure” Makashi, or does he use a mix of multiple forms?


“Republicans” is an earth term, in particular USA. “Citizens of the galactic republic” or such is more appropriate. Or simply use “the republic”.
Aside from that, this section isn’t half-bad.

With peers in the Empire, keep in mind that rivalry and competition was highly encouraged and even accepted. In addition, Sith were considered pretty much superstars or highly valued that with normal civilians, they could nearly get whatever they wanted by merely pulling rank. While it’s possible he could consider polite, some might actually take advantage of this behavior to pull in above him or make him look weak. Some might just put a target on him mainly because he’s got some power and push him underneath them.



Good enough.


In other words, he has not encountered any of them yet, but he’s looking forward to it?

That sounds a bit off, especially since the Sith and Jedi were locked in a 28 year war. While he might’ve not been on the frontlines, the odds of not at last briefly encountering a Jedi or so is very slim when he’s patching up those Empire troopers coming from the frontlines. One thing to consider is that the closer you are to the frontlines, the more dangerous and likely that the war will directly affect your PC. People directly in the fighting risk harm and death, those on the sideline risk their position being over run or capture by their enemy, and those farthest often risk reputation and resources to the aftermath. Each affecting the individual, but at different levels and fashions. With his medical ability, I would say the middle one would be the most likely.


Does such pain and suffering encourage him? Or is he utterly oblivious?

If he should be the victim of such himself, how would he take it?

All sith are of the highest class in imperial society. Is he among the highest tier of society among sith (of his rank)


More flaws. We like those. Surely combat isn’t his only flaw now, is it?


This section is fine.


This section is fine.


This section is fine.


This section is fine.


This section is fine.

Sheet does not quite look finished yet, but we’ll review it anyways, so that you can aim future work.


This section is fine.



Why does she take up the burdens of others? What makes her feel it is her responsibility?


At sixteen years of age, having any real skill in more than one form is pretty rare. Basic knowledge about other forms and a rough idea about how to counter them is perfectly fine, though. “Skilled” implies having spent considerable time studying a form.

Are there any skills other than lightsaber, investigation/study, piloting and navigation she possesses? They need not be altogether “useful”.



How much “potential” does she possess in the Force? Are there any of the core skills she has more innate aptitude for? Any skills she is clearly not good at?


Yes. We want more. These would probably be ones she is unaware of herself.


Do you have any picture(s)? (not gonna demand that)
Without a picture, some more of an idea of what her attire looks like would be helpful. What are the Sephi influences upon otherwise typical Jedi robes?


She is ideologically very much a Jedi. Does she know much about the true differences between Sith and Jedi?


What sort of signs were there of her force sensitivity? Anything that stood out?
How close was the war to her homeworld?

That battle with a Sith. Was she herself injured by it? Be it physically or emotionally? Did she get hurt in battles preceding or following this?

How long prior to the sacking were her trials of Knighthood?

All in all, this looks like a good start for a sheet.

It wouldn’t hurt to break this up into two-three paragraphs.


While the skills are presented, spotting individual skills takes a bit of extra time. You specify that he’s primarily training in skills that affect him personally. How much training does he have in other uses of the force, like telekinesis, mind tricks, etc.?

What can he do with his talent for using the Force upon animals? Is he better at dealing with carnivores/herbivores, birds/lizards, large/small beasts or anything like that, or is it universal for most animals? Why did his master start teaching him crucitorn? It’s a rather specialized skill, not one typically taught to all jedi.


Again, break it up into paragraphs, please. Currently, it’s all bundled together, making it somewhat difficult to spot individual skills. Having that easier will be useful for others later in the IC. You don’t need much more elaboration on the existing skills, though. They’re pretty well-defined. You could split them up into types of skills. Those related to combat probably won’t naturally be grouped with things like cooking or piloting, just as social skills probably won’t be with meditation. Just some ideas, mind you.


The bio is especially prone to paragraphs with a bit excessive length, which makes it more difficult to read. That in turn makes it harder to pick out individual moments of relevance. A paragraph tends on average to have 3-5 sentences, but that can flex based on the sentence lengths. Shorter sentences tends to mean more per paragraph (and visa versa), but it's not a universal rule. The guild tends to have longer lines than a typical book would, so a paragraph that ends up at above eight lines can be tough to read.

Echani have such a nice and direct way to learn about others… How did he feel about being conscripted into the Jedi Order? Did his mother approve? At some point, Padawans are allowed to go back and reconnected-through few ever do because it’s discouraged- so with that in mind, did he ever want to? And if he didn’t, why?

It would not be unlikely for him to be grouped with other echani younglings/initiates. Or at least with those from other cultures of somewhat martial natures. At least one of his instructors as an initiate would probably be echani, simply because they would understand him best. They Jedi Order is actually fairly practical like that. Then they would start to branch off to introducing different races, like starting with some that were less like them (Zabraks communicate through body language for example, but also depend on scents and words a bit more than Echani) and steadily increasing the exposure to include more and more species. Khan could’ve had trouble with the adjustments which could still lead to his alienated feelings and create a whole emotional experience for him not to easily succeed over something he was tasked with.

How recently did he become Denso’s apprentice? How did his initiate trials go? Which of them was he most worried about and why?


Jedi also teach moving meditation. Through the two forms might clash with Echani having little issue with aggressive, and attacking movements compared to the Jedi’s likely slower, and more controlled movements. Fallen: I often think of Tai-chi when it comes to Jedi’s style of moving meditation because that form fits well with their beliefs and comes off as peaceful and in control compared to others.


This section is ok.


This section looks ok, but the last paragraph feels rather large and chunky. We’d recommend you break it down into two paragraphs or so for easier reading.


It would be nice if you could fill something in here, even if it is that he’s not met any of the other PCs prior to the day of the sacking. Other than Denso, that is.


Ok.


There is no requirement for having met any, but if you haven’t met any of them, you could always add a bit about how you think he’ll react to meeting a couple of them. For example, the Rescuer leader, Gar Halcorr, has probably had a lot to do with various initiates and younglings over the years, and he does tend to leave an impression.


More flaws, please. We find them delectable and we are hungry

He can have difficulty in learning things outside combat, his attention is hard to retain over a topic he finds boring, etc. Maybe he’s a mischievous or likes to fight his fellow Jedi when he’s feeling upset, mainly to work out the emotions and does it without warning against the one he disagrees with or a friend. Show a bit of the child within him despite his maturity as it’s possible many of those habits haven’t fully left him yet. That’s why he’s assigned to Denso after all.


This section is ok.


Ok.


Ok.


Ok.


Ok.

Good enough for now. There’s always room for improvement, but your sheet now is quite probably the best sheet you’ve written yet. Approved. You can go ahead and put her on the CS tab.

It still feels like you’ve got it written as if he wasn’t aware of his work at rebuilding his lightsaber. Though he might not be aware of the why of the work, he is aware of exactly what he is doing in this process. At best, it might be that he is only inspired to make the sabers capable of interlocking towards the end of the crafting. As he is an artisan, it would make sense to cover the process of going through inspired artisanry in some detail. How he thinks during such. What stimuli he tunes out, what he needs/wants, etc.

Hmm… Would he use inspirational music for this? Or does he prefer silence? Is it an art practiced in solitude, or something he’d do in a communal workshop?

Could you add a couple of line breaks between the sections below relations? Right now they’re pretty bunched-together.

Could you fix bolding in this section? Right now, everything is bolded, which makes it less easy to look at.

“Beskab” We presume you mean “Beskad” as in the Mandalorian blade?

Why are the vials limited to 5m in range? Does it shoot a vial? A needle? A spray of gas? Something else?

As Jedi/sith are very difficult to knock out, the serum is presumably stronger than it would be for a “mundane”, what would happen if he hits one of those instead? Oh and how would they affect him if he somehow got hit with it instead of an enemy?

There’s still a few spelling errors, but its far better than it was before.

As he went for his pistol I grabbed his helmet and smashed his head with it. As the dazed soldier tried to regain his bearings Vebra kept hitting him.

Here’s an instance where you forgot to change from third to first person.

This fling of his with a padawan… Did he ever meet her again? If so, how did that turn out and how does that affect him now?

All in all, your sheet has shown vast improvements from last time.

Lightsaber image is dysfunctional.


How powerful is he with the various powers? What sort of techniques does he favor?


Could you add a little more detail on his various skill branches?
What is he good/bad at with Sith politics?

Who robbed the sith? Or maybe he was robbed?

Why did Jewel pick him as her apprentice?

Racism is not all that common in the Empire. Speciesism is practiced by many, far from all, but definitely in the Academy.

How does his master feel about his neglect of non-combat things?

Name: Sish

Species: Trandoshan

Age: 60

Gender: Male

Faction: Sith Empire

Rank: Lord

Master: N/A

Former master(s): Belvarus Slakan (Deceased.)







I stand at 6ft 6in, with dark green scales. My left arm is about two, three inches shorter than my right, a fond memory of my master. My right arm, right side of my face, parts of my chest, and parts of my right leg are all robotic. They're all top of the line, designed to resist various physical attacks and attacks from the Force. There are a few scars on my body, though they should be gone when I next shed. My remaining natural eye used to be a dark orange. Now, it's a yellow, a side effect of the Dark Side.

My clothing is battle armor. Black padding with metal plates. Only my hands, feet, and head remain uncovered, the former two because they're more useful that way, the latter because of personal preference. It's not customized, other than the color.



-Crucitorn, while my own pain threshold is very high, even I possess limits.
-Force lightning, it's somewhat iconic and undeniably effective.
-Force Scream, an involuntary ability, but one I have.
-Detoxify Poison, I am not blind to the favoured manner of Sith to kill other Sith.
-Force drain, even I run out of energy.
-Battle Meditation, an ability I learned to better help the troops on the frontline.
-Force Rage, my rage is never far from reach, always waiting to be released.
-Animal Friendship, Friendship is a cute way to describe 'brutally dominating and forcing to obey me through fear.'



Combat, obviously. One does not get Jagannath points by being scholarly. Before I joined the Sith, I was a mercenary wandering the Galaxy, with a taste for melee combat. That was enhanced and carried over when I joined and was trained by the Sith. I've fought a wide variety of opponents, from the dirtiest of Bounty Hunters to the most honorable of Wookiees. Not to say I can't be surprised, but I've seen all the tricks, and can adapt accordingly. I know how to read body language, a very useful thing in a fight, and see what people are thinking when they’re mouths are saying something different.

I've made a study of all the lightsaber forms. There's a list of what I've mastered, what I'm proficient in, and what I'm merely knowledgeable of.

Physically I can see into the infrared spectrum, I have a keen sense of smell (able to smell a wookiee a week after it's left the area), my strength is only bested by a Wookiee or those stronger than them, my robotics similarly enhanced to equal my strength.

My robotics are all top of the line, designed and built with materials to resist all physical attacks, environmental damage, and Force attacks. My robotic eye can see into the infrared and has night vision. The steel teeth are all razor sharp, even better than my natural teeth for tearing into flesh. All of my robotics and replacements are enhanced by Sith Alchemy to both be more resistant to many things (natural elements, rusting, attacks, etc etc) and extremely tough to break. The teeth in particular are nigh indestructible (granted, not the point where my jaw will break if I clench them too hard)

My robotic arm can spew flames, to replace the lightning I lost. I can also detach it if it ever is pinned or trapped.

The various parts of my right arm and right chest that are cybernetic have compartments in them where I store weaponry. Slug weapons and spare lightsabers, stolen from fallen opponents.



From birth, my life was one of combat and struggle. The earning of Jagannath points began early and never stopped. One of my siblings tried to kill me, and I ripped his throat out. Death was a daily part of my life, and I became numb to it quite quickly. The death of the Emperor would affect me about as much as the death of a bug. Most of my family is dead. Mother just disappeared, and I never saw her again. My father died protecting his ghrakhowsk. I killed my other siblings, or they would have tried to kill me, my Force Sensitivity allowing me to survive in situations where I should have been killed. The Strong Survive, the Weak Die. I left when I was adult age, twenty-five, in search of more Jagannath points, because I couldn't earn enough on Trandosha. Thus began my career as a Mercenary.

I took jobs for the Hutts, the Galactic Republic, anyone who would pay well, I did a job for them. I avoided long term contracts. They bogged me down, and I preferred to earn my Jagannath points against a variety of opponents and prey. On the couple of times I was with a Jedi, they sensed my abilities, and tried to recruit me. I refused all. There were definitely not going to be any Jagannath points if I followed the peaceful route of the Jedi. One was rather...insistent. Rather than lose all my Jagganth points to her, I agreed to go with her. She was dragging me back to one of the temples when we got hit by pirates. Humans. In the chaos I ran her through with my sword, then stabbed her a few more times to make sure she was dead. Offered them my services as a merc until I could get away from them. After that incident I stuck to the far Outer Rim and refused any job that had a Jedi on it, quitting any that had one appear.

Did it bother me when I fought and killed Republic soldiers? Not in the slightest. My planet was apart of it, but my allegiances were to the Scorekeeper. What mattered who won the war in this world when the Scorekeeper was awaiting me at death? And so, I did my job for a variety of people and governments, and I did it well. While I didn't exactly become infamous, I was usually sought after by a large amount of people for a variety of jobs. Ten years passed this way. The Galactic Republic had hired me for a search and destroy job when the Sith...'recruited' me.

It was a simple job, shortly after I had killed the insistent Jedi. 3687 BBY. I was to go with a squad of Republic soldiers and investigate rumors of an unusually powerful force of pirates. No force users, just soldier to soldier combat. Kill all hostiles, etc. They didn’t have any other Republic soldiers nearby, so hiring a mercenary was the best way to pad their numbers without waiting and possibly letting the pirates escape before they could be slaughtered.

Well...that didn't exactly happened. We walked into the bunker, a Mon Calamari in the lead. It was quiet, abnormally so. I saw their heat before they revealed themselves. They rose and before their lightsabers activated the Mon Calamari managed to shout 'It's a Trap!' He was cut down along with a host of others. The doors closed behind us, and the butchering began. It came down to a slaughter in close quarters. After all, what use was blasters in that death hole? Their use of the Force didn't help our chances either. For a few, long, hectic motions it became a whirring world of red light, flashing heat, screams, a few blaster shots, and blade upon lightsaber. Poor Republic bastards. One of the first to die in a war that wouldn’t begin for several years.

Still, I held my own, even managing to wound one. That's partially what saved me from being executed. After my Trandoshan double-blade slashed across my assailants face, my arm was suddenly gone and I was thrown, pushed, without being touched into the nearby wall. I still had a hand on my double blade, however. As they began executing those that weren't already dead, I took more notice in their details, aside from the fact they were force users and enemies. Most of the fighters had been young, and were speaking to others who stood off in the shadows in terms like 'master'. Apprentices then. Getting their first test.

That's when I noticed there was quite a bit more dead Sith apprentices among the corpses of the Republic soldiers than there should have been. That didn't make sense. It was a bloodbath, a perfect victory. Why would there be their own dead amongst my former allies? That's when I noticed that all of the apprentices who had been killed weren't killed by blaster or sword. They were killed by lightsaber. So, the test wasn't to slay a group of Republic scum. It was to prove which of them was stronger. The Strong survive and the Weak die.

Someone was approaching, apparently preparing to kill me. Judging from the wound across his face, this was the apprentice that I had wounded. He was making some arrogant statement about my death, presumably, and glancing off to his fellows. Arrogance I could take advantage of. Distraction I could to. Alone they possibly wouldn't work. Together though...perfect opportunity. He was only wearing robes, and the blade cut through them like they weren't even there. The surprise on his face was comical, before he slumped over. I shoved the blade through his throat just to make sure. And that's what got the attention of his, soon to be my, master. He was a pure-blooded Sith, red tentacles on his face and all. His name was Shâsot. Rather than killing me, he sensed I was gifted with the power of the force. Judging by how I had survived the massacre and killed his apprentice, I possessed some strength. But, of course, he had to see just how much. I remember trying to reach my blade to kill myself before his boot crashed on my skull and I lost consciousness. I couldn't be captured! All my Jagannath points would be reduced to zero! My life would be forfeit!

Well, so much for that idea.

I'll gloss over my..'trials'. Suffice to say, they were painful, brutal, and proved my strength to my master. By the time he was through, I was more than willing to accept his offer. My training was less painful, but no less brutal and no less proving my strength. I was not 'pure'. I was assumed to be weak then. This was soon dissuaded with the deaths of a few of those who thought I was weak enough to kill, quietly and with no connections to me of course. Twenty one years ago, My master was the first of those. We assaulted a group of Jedi. We won, and were separated from our forces. I sensed my opportunity. At long last, I could kill him. Prove my strength without a doubt. And, admittedly, get revenge for his zeroing of my Jagannath points and the 'trials'. I killed him because I was stronger, and he was weaker. I attacked him because it had been my life until he arrived. Being captured alive was a great shame to your average Trandoshan. I still hadn't lost that sense of shame. He wasn't unprepared, perhaps expecting it for years now. I didn't have the element of surprise, but I didn't want it either. The weak use surprise tactics.

It was a brutal fight, but I prevailed in the end, separating his head from his shoulders with my remaining arm. He had cut it off during the battle and I only avoided being killed then and there through force lightning. He had also destroyed my lightsaber. Returning to our group, I spoke of a surviving Jedi Master. They were skeptical, the numbers of the Jedi reported matching the number of corpses on the ground, and they hadn't sensed any others, but they didn't dare challenge me. I had proven my strength, and they were to weak to kill me. Though, prejudices run deep in the Empire, and I'm always considered 'inferior' by most who first meet me or haven't heard of me.

Since that day I've been in battle after battle. Frontline after Frontline. I earned the respect and loyalty of all the soldiers by saving them and defending them. Other Sith would run when the battles went the other way. Leaving the soldiers behind to die. I returned to save them, protect them. This war would not be won if they died. Through this I earned their loyalty. I earned their respect. I gathered my 'powerbase' as the other Lords call it. Unfortunately, my 'powerbase' cannot help me now. They're all on the frontlines, where they belong, and I'm here.

My last battle before I met my apprentice, I fought the now Battlemaster Fa in a battle that should have gone the Empire's way. She appeared, and turned the tide. In our resulting duel, I was left with my injuries that put the cybernetics you see on me now.

After spending about twenty or so years mastering the Form V(which my master had taught me) and Form VI(which I learned at my own discretion) lightsaber forms and combat in general and fighting in the war, I met my apprentice for the first time on her home planet. It was a subtle mission, to kill a Jedi, and I largely kept my identity as Sith Warrior a secret. When I did finally meet my apprentice,I sensed that her and her brother were both force sensitive, not the Jedi I was looking for, but interesting nonetheless. The latter apparently a renowned warrior. Of course, even though I didn't worship the Scorekeeper anymore, I still couldn't resist the challenge. Turns out, he wasn't. The Jedi found me over the corpse, and he proved to be more of a fight. After killing him, my apprentice found me over both bodies. I threw her out the window in contempt. I thought she had died, and was leaving for Kashyyyk, as I hadn't killed a Wookiee in quite a few years and still had a while before I was supposed to be reporting success.

My apprentice followed me to the Wookiee planet. I found her injured, with two dead Wookiees around her and another getting ready to kill her. I killed the surviving Wookiee, and rather than thank me, she tried to attack me, screaming some nonsense about her brother. It was short fight, ending with her unconscious, but not dead. She was strong, that was certain. Following me across the Galaxy, surviving the forest floor of Kashyyyk, slaying two Wookiees, and then still trying to kill me. But, I had to find out if she was strong enough to be a Sith.

The 'trials' began again, only the roles were reversed. As soon as I had determined she was indeed strong enough to be my apprentice, I made an offer. At first she refused. So I tried to break her, make her agree, as my master had done with me. That didn't work, and it soon became clear I would kill her before I would break her. So, I tried a different tactic. What did she want with all of her emotion and life in her? My death. So, I used this fact. She couldn't kill me as she was right now, and I was offering the chance for her to gain the power necessary to do so. The Jedi wouldn't allow her to have her vengeance. The other Sith would slay her for not being Pure. I was her only chance.

Clearly, that worked.

As I had been doing my entire career with the Sith, I carried her from frontline to frontline. We fought and killed for the Empire, fighting the forces of the Republic until we received a mission from Nyiss herself. Coruscant was to be attacked.

She hasn’t been my only apprentice, of course. Most are dead, but some are on their own missions. They’re the ones that either sought me out, I earned by killing their former masters, or were given to me as another impure. I am far more sure of their loyalties than I am of Jayda’s, allowing me to send them on missions without my oversight.

Now, what are we, a Sith Warrior Lord and his apprentice, doing torturing and question and turning young Jedi? We were apart of the invasion force. The reason my apprentice and I are on this ship is twofold. We're heading to Nyiss’ planet, to continue her training. Also, I sense she's not entirely assured of the rightness of our path, of the Dark Side. She could waver. She could be weak and turn back to the way of the Jedi. If she is, I'll have to kill her of course. But, there is no way to know that without a test. And what better way to test than the torturing of those her age or younger? Will she stay strong? Or will she be weak, pathetic and show sympathy to the maggots that are bringing about the death of a galaxy?



Form I Shii-Cho: Proficient. I am skilled in it.

Form II Makashi: Knowledgeable. I do not possess the finesse or fine control to do the movements and finesse strikes, but I do know it's skills and style. I can counter it.

Form III Soresu: Proficient. I do not like playing defensive, but I can.

Form IV Ataru: Knowledgeable. I am not meant for flipping about or their fancy moves. But I do know how they fight and can correctly adjust.

Form V Shien/Djem So: Mastered. I have Mastered both Variants, though I prefer Djem So.

Form VI Niman: Proficient. I am not skilled in using the Force in combat the ways Niman requires, but I can.

Form VII Juyo: Mastered. I have mastered this vicious, emotional, random attacks.



Jayda is my wavering apprentice, who I have yet to see what she'll do.

Zanna is a scheming weakling, one who was in my way for too long when I was in a bad mood.

Fa is a worthy opponent, the one who took my arm and most of my face.

Nyiss is the Darth. One to be feared and respected.

The rest I don't know enough to make generalizations about. Weak Jedi, conniving Sith.





Sish is a powerful Lord of the Sith, specializing in the vicious, broad, combative uses of the Force.



Fa, in the battle that made her a Battlemaster. TBD if he has met any others.



Sish is extremely loyal to the Empire. He's one of the few Sith who will put the Empire's victory over his own goals, and despises the politics the other Sith engage in. If he can, he avoids it. He's driven by the need to find worthy opponents, and to slay the Jedi, as he views that they are a blight upon the Galaxy, weakening the natural order. He's a vicious monster, but he's a vicious monster who is at the beck and call of the Empire.



Sish has no combat weaknesses (Not to say that he's unbeatable in a fight, just that there are no major combat weaknesses that can be exploited. He can still be bested by superior numbers, better tactics, etc etc) because he has no political strengths. He's a soldier and is not at all interested in the politics that the other Sith will engage in. This means he's bad a lying, bad at detecting lies (unless he's known you for a long time, as in Jayda's case). He can be manipulated more easily than the other Sith. He doesn't do manipulations himself. If he needs someone to do something, he'll ask/command or do it himself.



Sish will go to other Sith when he needs help torturing Jedi or procuring items to train his apprentice and torture Jedi. He, wisely, doesn’t go seeking the other Sith unduly as it always ends in trouble.



So long as it's not 'and then they forced feces down his throat' I'm pretty much okay with everything.



Give them something to hate. Give them something to despise. And make them see that without using that hate, that anger, they'll never beat him. Never be free. Sish is going to make the Jedi hate him, and he is going to make the Jedi use that hate to beat him.



Of course! Sish needs someone to debate with.



Sish, to be honest, is just a character I want to use to push the prisoners to their limit and potentially break them through physical, sadistic, torture. Sish is going to die this RP. If he gets what he wants, Jayda will kill him. If he doesn't, someone else will, or maybe Jayda will still kill him.

Perhaps someone will use him to further their plots. Perhaps not. We'll have to see.

Name: Nazca Barsavi

Species: Human

Age: 21

Gender: Female

Faction: Jedi Order

Rank: Youngling

Master: N/A

Former master(s): N/A

Time/location of capture: Sacking of Coruscant, Time unknown.







Beat up. I'm not sure the full extent of my injuries (to be decided IC), but I did not go quietly. They left me in my padawan robes, but did a stellar job of searching me. All of my little hidden things are gone. Bastards. I stand at 5 feet 7 inches and I weigh about 145lbs. The rest you have a picture for. (Steel Grey eyes, reddish brown hair.) Yes, the rings are fused to my skin. They were supposed to be removed a week after the date of the Sacking but, well, you see what happened.



It was my fault. I just haaaad to be the protective one. Couldn't have left the younglings to their fate, no, that would have been sensible. (She's going to be caught protecting younglings, but who and how is up to IC)



Pfffffffft. I don't. I can't even lift a pebble. (Nazca is fairly unaware of her abilities in the Force, as they've primarily manifested in physical agility, speed, and luck, and her main knowledge of it comes from Nar Shadda stories of the flashy stuff. You know, piledriving entire ships, force choking entire armies, so on so forth. At times she's been able to jump higher and run faster than normal, been missed by a patrol when she should have been seen, or managed to catch something she dropped before it alerted the guards, so on so forth.)

Though, supposedly, the ability where every night I leave my body to walk around me is a force one. I can’t control it. It’s really annoying at times too. I’m tired from a long day of training and meditating and I just want the beautiful abyss of sleep but nooo I have to be awake and wandering around. I’ve tried to go back into my body. It doesn’t work.



Hmmm *clinks rings together before shrugging.* No use in lying.

Criminally, I can hack all but the most state of the art locks, pick pockets of anyone provided they’re not focused on my hands (though I'm no where good as I used to be, thanks to my permanent fashion statement), I'm fairly good at slight of hand though the very perceptive will catch me,(incredibly useful for cheating at card games) and hack your droids without higher functions. Basic maintenance droids and the like.

Non criminally...okay, most of these are used for criminal activities. What can I say? I lived on Nar Shaddaa for most of my life. Anyways, I've exceptionally good memory. If I can remember small details on Nar Shaddaa, I can remember which way I'm dragged through a hallway. A Sith's face. Maybe a slight habit or addiction they have. Who knows what usefulness I'll find out while being a prisoner.

I'm a very good actor too. Give me time and resources and I can create a character and make you believe their real. Or I can make someone believe I'm dying, injured, happy, sad...the list goes on.

I'm also pretty damn great at using the environment to my advantage, and moving through it fairly quickly, even if it's a surprise change. Sudden car? Over we go! Guards? Around or under, whichever is faster. And so on so forth. (She's agile. Free running, parkour, whatever you wanna call it. She's good at getting through crowded spaces quickly.)

Oh! I can also speak a variety of languages, the most impressive being wookiee and Gamorrean. Do you know how damn hard those things are to learn? Very! Never say 'Oink' to a Gamorrean. Unless you want to piss him off so bad you have to kill him, that is. Of course, seeing as my vocal chords can't actually make some of their sounds, it's a simple language, but the message gets across. Two other languages whose sounds I can actually make are Ul'Zabrak and Mando'a.

Most of the above abilities I learned while I was a street urchin and beyond, pretty much up until the point where I was captured. It's a hard life in Nar Shadda. But the languages I started learning with, and at the instance of, my mother and continued it on long after her death. It was a way to stay connected to her.



I was born to Nar Shaddaa, that lovable cesspool of corruption, crime, and death. Most of those who are not of Nar Shaddaa, and some of those who are, consider it a damned place. A place where only criminals thrive, and any notion of kindess, generosity, or hope is crushed. The people there, they think, are ruthless, brutal, and vile. Well, fuck what the offworlders think. Nar Shaddaa is my home. They are right to think that it is a damned place, and they are right to know that only criminals thrive. But they are wrong to think it a place where betrayal happens daily, hope is gone, and the only thoughts on its inhabitants' minds are survival and greed. There are families who care about each other, no matter the flaws. There are mercenaries and thieves with morals and lines they won't cross. The bonds of brotherhood are not limited to soldiers or Jedi. We risk our lives for each other, we die for our brothers and sisters. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Where was I...born on Nar Shaddaa. My father was a barkeep, my mother died while in childbirth with me, and he never spoke of her. From what pictures I managed to sneak glimpses of while he was asleep, or busy, she was a woman familiar with violence. The scars told me that. I suspect she was ex-military, judging from a blaster I found with her name carved into it. I lived as good a life as a noncriminal in Nar Shaddaa could, before it all exploded around me. You see, the Hutts found out that my father was one of the few businesses that didn't pay tribute to them. They didn't appreciate that, so they sent a few thugs to get the tribute. My father was the proudest man you could ever meet. He refused. Rudely. I was watching when it happened, leaving my body while I was sleeping to watch as my father talked to the thugs.

The next thing I knew, there was gun fire, my father was running into my room, jerking me back into my body, bloodied and injured, gathering me in his arms and struggling to get me to safety. He threw me out my window with nothing more than 'Nazca, I love you!'. I fell into a garbage bin beneath my window, and then the shop kind of...exploded. That was it. My entire life, exploded in front of my eyes. I was 8 years old. I did what you'd expect a kid to do. I panicked, sobbed, and screamed. What really happened is kind of blurry in my memory, but I remember ending up being taken in by a street urchin gang after that time. I learned how to survive and the value of having people watching your back. Most of my skills I have now came from that time. They paid tribute to the Hutts, of course. Everyone does.

10 years passed by and I kept to myself, keeping to the code the street urchin's taught me. Keep your head down, do as the Hutts say, and don't cause trouble. But I couldn't let the knowledge that the Hutts had killed my family slip away, unchallenged and unpunished. Eventually I left them and started my own little crime syndicate. It took me another 2 years to become an actual problem for the Hutts. You don't just start challenging one of the most powerful crime families on Nar Shaddaa the instant you decide you want to. 2 years of deals, negotiations, favor for favor, starting attacking the Hutts resources, and then slowly building up till I was an actual threat. I attracted quite the motely group. There were Zabraks, humans, Twileks, and most impressively, a Wookiee, a Trandoshan, and a Gamorrean. You do not want to know the effort I put in in order to ensure that the Wookiee and the Trandoshan didn't kill each other, and the Gamorrean didn't kill anyone on our side. They, being the people who joined my little syndicate, came from various occupations. Bounty hunters, ex mercenaries, muscle for gangs, dancers, pick pockets and con men.

Don't get me wrong, the only thing we had in common was that we wanted to make the Hutts pay for what they had done to us. A Zabrak had lost her husband, the one she had bonded with, to the Hutts. The Wookiee had failed to protect someone he had sworn a life debt too from the Hutts. The Hutts had cost the Trandoshan all his Jagganth points. The Gamorrean had been told 'Oink' by the Hutts represenatives, and they didn't kill him, only incapacitated him and threw him out. A Mandalorian who lost his family and clan to the Hutts. We weren't together because of a sense of 'justice' or 'wanting to change the crime in Nar Shaddaa'. We wanted blood, pure and simple.

Of course, it didn't last. I honestly think the only reason we lasted so long was because every night I would leave my body and begin to scout out the next target. We finally became enough of a problem that the Hutts couldn't just send their thugs after us. Every other time had only resulted in the thug's heads being sent back to the local Hutt boss, and us growing bolder. We grew too cocky, too sure of ourselves, and those fat fucking slugs made us pay for it. One piece of false information, and one rat in our group. That's all it took for them to neatly trap us and eliminate us. When I say 'neatly' I mean in the most brutal and bloody way imaginable. Half of us went to hit this Hutt warehouse we heard was undermanned. The rest stayed behind to rest, prepare, or just do whatever the hell they wanted. I stayed behind. I had no combat skills. I knew it, everyone else knew it too. The Wookiee and the Mandalorian were experienced and respected enough to lead the attack. So, I have no idea what actually happened there. Other than what the Hutt's men told me, and I can't very well trust the word of those bastards can I?

At our base, it was a blood bath. A large group of Mercs(a couple mandalorians, humans, I think I even saw a Jawa) kicked down the door and started killing everything that fucking moved. I reacted quickly, screaming for everyone to scatter and go to the predetermined meeting places. That didn't work as they had all the exits covered. It was a fight to the death. The Gamorrean did good for himself. He charged straight into them, heedless of all the blaster wounds he was taking and just started swining his axe. A good half dozen of them went down before a vibrosword went through his neck. I think I saw a smile on his face, in the end. The Trandoshan just scared me. When he couldn't use his blaster rifle any more, breaking it over a Merc's head, he went in with nothing more than his claws. Have you ever seen a giant lizard use a broken Madalorian body to beat more Mercs? I have. He was turned into a fine red mist when one of them threw a grenade at his feet and he didn't notice.

Out of everyone, the Hutts wanted me spared. I had made myself the clear leader before, in clear view of their surveillance videos. So when I tried to fight, the Merc's didn't kill me. Rather, the one I fired at simply closed in quickly and clubbed me with the stock of his rifle. Bastard. I had a headache for hours after waking up. If you think I was lucky enough to be unconscious when they gave me my rings, you think too highly of the Hutts. They woke me up, restrained and groggy, just so I could feel the pain of having metal rings melded to my hands. After I had screamed myself hoarse and passed out, they'd wake me up again. Eight times. They did that. Eight. Fucking. Times. I was given a week or so to recover. After all, they didn't want me to die too quickly. Then they threw me in one of their arenas. Bastards didn't even have the decency to make it a hidden one, so sure were they that all of my former comrades were dead. Well, they were right, but they still should have put me in an underground one. You'll know why soon enough.

I was to fight against a Zabrak, they told me. Not good. Even if he didn't have more combat experience than I did, he was stronger, more pain tolerant, faster, and just plain better than me. As I walked into that cage, hearing the screams and howls of the crowd, I knew I was going to die. Painfully. He had the look of an experienced killer. You know, dead eyes, scars, relaxed stance. And knowing the Hutts, I guessed he was going to kill me slowly. As his fist moved impossibly fast and crashed into my stomach, making me vomit up whatever gruel the Hutts gave me, my guess was proven right.

I'll spare you the details of what happened for a while in that cage. Lets just say it was painful, and I remained cruelly conscious throughout the whole thing. Then, something remarkable happened. A Jedi cut through the cage, sent my Zabrak abuser through the hole he made with a flick of his wrist, and then took me away from Nar Shaddaa. Okay, it didn't go quite that smoothly, there was a lot more running, blaster fire deflecting, and fighting, but that was the gist of it. He took me to his ship, explained that he had found me through sensing my Force capabilities, and he was taking me to Coruscant so my actual skill level can be determined. That was a month ago, they had decided I had enough Force power to bother training, and now I'm a prisoner on a Sith base, waiting to be torture.



Games mostly. If they won't give us actual games, Pazaak, holochess, and the like, we'll have to entertain ourselves with other games. Truth or dare. Betting games. Hide an item and try to find it. Training if I’m really hard up for entertainment. Won't be hard. Grew up on the streets of Nar Shadda. Sure as shit aren't any patented toys there.

And just between you and me, hatred is a good way to keep going as well.



Pressure? I hold up under that great! Can't be a thief and not be able to. Talking my way out of guns held to my head, managing to hold my ground and not move when a guard was less than five feet from my hiding place in the shadows, carefully disarming a self-destruct I accidentally set off without panicking, so on so forth. Pain...less so. It's so low as to be nonexistent on a useful level. I mean, I can take a scratch and some bruises without sobbing but what we're going to be going through....no. Lots of sobbing. Torture is not something I can resist. So when they start cutting flesh, breaking bones, and vicious beatings I’ll be a sobbing wreck. Fun times right?



Don't have one! *Smiles cheekily.* (She received basic training in Shii-Cho, and has a noted aptitude and preference for speed, agility, and finesse over everything else)



Xid-Friend. Met him during my early days in the temple. Funny story about that actually. He had left something shiny out and I helped myself to it. To make a long story short his annoying little robot found me and alerted him. I came back to chat and we became friends.

Shiri-Kindred souls and all that. While not Nar Shadda ilk, she's more like me than most.

Koren-My master...I guess? They didn’t really explain it well before throwing us together. (Koren is the one put in charge of Nazca, teaching her, guiding her, and keeping her out of trouble)

Talon- She was the one who looked after me when I was in the street urching gang. She was younger than me, but looked after me like I was her sister. Kept me alive and relatively sane. She's probably pissed that I just up and left, but we haven't really had time to address that.

Haven’t met any Sith, but they’re too much like the Hutts for my sake. Conniving, lying, bullying bastards.





She's basically a normal person. She has no force training, but her potential lies towards the more finesse, speed, and agility based abilities of it. Provided she doesn’t die horribly, she could become a force to be reckoned with in terms of precision and finesse, rather than raw power.



No.



Nazca is easily influenced by her emotions, most notably her concern for her friends and her hatred of the Hutts and anything like them. Playing upon them should be childs play for anyone with half a brain, be it drawing out her rage or making her complacent with threats to her friends.

She’s not very resistant to pain or very good in a fight. Physical torture will be hard on her, and her mouth will likely make it far worse as she pisses her torturers off. If she’s ever backed into a corner, anyone with either basic force training or basic combat training will have no problems dealing with her.

Nazca hates having things taken out of her control. She doesn’t like having to be at the mercy at others and unable to affect anything. Thusly, being a prisoner and trapped is driving her up the wall.

She has an intense phobia of being raped, the merest suggestion of her body being taken against her will enough to send her to the verge of panic.



Nope. Fortunately, she knows nothing. Physical torture would affect her badly, as her pain threshold is not very high. However, her need to spite her torturers will prevent it from being an effective way of turning her.

Mental games, like convincing her that her actions are harming her friends or mocking her about her inability to do anything about the Hutts or her current situation is far more effective. Giving her impossible situations to win and telling her that if she fails something bad happens to her friends will affect her badly.

As noted in her flaws, sexual torture or the merest suggestion of it would be extremely effective.



As I'm sure you've noticed, Nazca seems to thrive on being obnoxious. If she's annoying you and she doesn't like or know you, she's having fun. Other than that,Nazca is generally cheerful and friendly, if vulgar. Having grown up as a street urchin in Nar Shadda after her family was killed in front of her, a cheerful personality was needed to both convince targets that she’s not robbing them and stop herself from sinking into despair.

Her need for revenge against the Hutts is what primarily motivates her, though she does her best to hide it from the Jedi. She knows that they’ve already noted her extreme emotions, and desperately wishes to be avoid any further means they might take to help her move past her hatred. She doesn’t want to move on. She wants to go back and get revenge. She's extremely protective of her friends, desperate not to lose them like she's lost others.

She’s also incredibly spiteful. By all rights, she should easily fall to the Sith and the dark side, given how determined she is to get revenge on the Hutts and how easily she’s influenced by her emotions. However, simply because they’re torturing her and her friends, she’ll spit in their faces and curse them to the end.

Nazca is a bit of a control freak, disliking having it taken from her. She likes to be able to affect things, and hates being at the mercy of others, especially those she deems as enemies.



I imagine there are some things I'd say no too, but unless I say no, assume it's okay.



Not if she's part of Nyiss's experiment again. She’ll outright resist any attempts to free her if they try to free her.



Nazca should be child's play for anyone remotely skilled in the force. Her innate ability of Force shadow should be discovered fairly quickly, making her valuable to Nyiss.



Either training with her Sith Master or playing a game she managed to convince the Sith to give them with another prisoner while she tries to deal with whatever the hell Nyiss did to her.

Name: Zanna

Species: Sith Pureblood

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Faction: Sith Empire

Rank: Apprentice

Master: N/A

Former master(s): Delarus Surn.





I stand at 5 feet 5 inches, with bright golden eyes typical of my race and hair as black as shadows, and can usually be seen wearing form fitting black clothes and my Sith robes. In addition to the jewelry you see on my face I wear two rings on each finger, one on the index and one on the ring finger. I have a scar going down the right side of my face from the bottom of my eye to my jaw. The palms of my hands are covered in old burn scars.



-I am strong in the basics of the Force all Sith are taught..
-Force Affliction, if they're not faster than me they can't kill me and if they die all the better.
-Force fear, fear is a wonderful motivator of self survival instincts.
-Sith Alchemy, it is something I have studied for most of my life. I am very good at it.
-Drain Knowledge, sometimes even I don't possess the patience to learn knowledge the easy way.
-Force Drain, For healing and draining energy from knights and their ilk I need to be in direct contact, but for those weaker than me and mere energy distance works for me.
-Tutaminis(adv), I like to block blaster bolts before they hit me in the chest, even if I don't have my lightsaber.
-Protection Bubble, I have to remain stationary to keep this shield going around me or my opponent, but in desperate situations I can do it.
-Telekinetic Whirlwind, distance is best in combat.
-Force Lightning, honestly is there a true Sith that doesn't know how to use this?
-Force Maelstorm, combining three different talents is tiring, and takes time. Due to it being based on a Protection Bubble, I must be stationary.



Alchemy and the Force are my two strongest skills. Making up for my lacking combat talents. It is because all the time I could have spent training my lightsaber forms, I spent straining my Force skills, mastering the basics quickly. And as my previous master was an Alchemist, I learned most of his skills and expanded upon my already considerable talents. I'm very good at the game we Sith play amongst ourselves. I say game, even though it's at times more lethal than the battlefield. Certainly, it's more ruthless. But I'm skilled at hiding my true intentions, misleading others, etc.

What the Force cannot do, my Alchemical skills will make up for.



I was born in the Sith Empire, to the remnants Kissai caste. The Dark Side of the Force was in my blood, and from a young age I studied it and the practical uses of Alchemy. Before I was taken to the Academy (at age 6), I was with my family. They disagreed with the way the Empire was heading, clinging to the traditions that would never return. This stance lost them the power their status as Purebloods gave them, and any protections it had. They did their best to hide my younger brother and I, when it became clear we had Force powers. It didn’t last, of course. They sith found out, and demanded they give us up. My parents refused. When the Sith came to claim my brother and I, it was my first lesson in true power. It was a human Overseer and his apprentice. My brother and I were forcibly taken, my parents cut down when they tried to resist.

Power is everything in this galaxy. Without it, you will simply be conquered by those who do have it.

My brother was my first lesson in strength. He wasn’t strong enough for the Academy, and I watched out for him, protected him. The other students, and the Overseers, saw this and knew it to be a weakness. So they attacked us. Again, and again and again. I lost count of the beatings, the mockings, the defiance I spat back. Funnily enough, it wasn’t even our fellow students or the Overseers that did him in the end. I dragged him all the way to Acolytes, and a damn beast killed him. The weak die and trying to save them results only in your own pain and weakening.

While most of my fellow students preferred to study the nature of the Dark Side itself and it’s applications to make them more powerful, I was far more interested in learning of the affect of the Dark Side, or alchemy, on the mind. Could it break people's minds? Could we use it to force false memories onto people? Could it even be used to corrupt their perception of reality? That's what set me on the track I am today. Studying the affects of the Force on the minds of sentient beings, and how it could be used. I've already developed a method of breaking into someone's mind and reliving the memories they are reliving, seeing what their mind is conjuring. It's...fascinating.

I displayed a talent for using Force powers, and after the Academy I was given over to an Inquisitor for training. It was...harsh. Brutal. Not physically, but mentally, especially when it came to using the force. Some of my fellow apprentices died from the training , even before the cut throat murder to be the 'one' the master delivered all of his secrets to began. I nearly died when this began, poisons being cured just in time, fighting off the mental attacks of my fellows. I always responded in kind and I always was victorious in the end. Of course, this could never be proven, but there was no doubt in anyone's mind. I was the strongest. I was the most determined. I deserved the secrets our master could deliver.

And deliver he did. Information I didn't even know of he delivered to me, and I was grateful. It's why he's still alive. He's the reason I've gotten as far as I have and he's realized that his life was worth much more than trying to kill me. So, my studies began in earnest, and while I could still be technically considered an apprentice, I surpassed my master and I am now looking to further increase my powers. That's partly why I'm here, to garner Darth Nyiss's favor and become her apprentice, while also helping her with her experiments. My skills, and experiments, in the area of mental manipulation and essentially torture reaching even her ears.

I will become her apprentice, even if I have to poison and kill all of those who would get in my way.



I am proficient in form VI Niman. Just enough to avoid being killed by your average thug or adept.



Lord Sish is a brute and a fool, the one who gave me my scar.

His apprentice is far more interesting. Such hatred can easily be turned.





Zanna is powerful enough to rival the Darth herself average in the Force for her race and rank. Not insanely talented, but neither is she surprisingly weak. Her true skills lie in finesse and gentle touches of it, and being able to combine and manage multiple powers at once.



No.



Ambitious. That would be the one word to describe her. She wants to be more than just a Sith. She wants to be more than a Lord. She wants power. And if that power comes with enemies, so be it. Enemies can be slain or subjugated. Ruthless, Driven. Both are also accurate words to describe her. Also paranoid and arrogant. Unsurprising, given her upbringing.

Beneath the shell that the Sith Academy crafted within her there is resentment, hatred. The Sith took her away from her family. All of them. She hates what they’ve done but knows that without it she would be dead. They taught her the ways of Power, the Force, and Strength, but she hates for it. Having left the Academy years ago she is no longer sure who her hatred is directed at, but she knows it is always there, waiting to be drawn upon.

She trusts no one that reminds her of those days (typically physical brutes, humans, and people who are sadistic for the sake of it) and would happily kill any and all of them. This resentment is buried deep within, however, and she often ignores it. This is also what drives her desperate desire to climb the Sith ranks, to become ever more powerful. The more power she has, the more the chances of that ever happening to her again decreases.



Zanna is terrible at fighting. She can kill a thug or an adept, but anyone remotely proficient in combat and able to nullify her Force abilities will find that she's not a threat at all.

She's also terribly arrogant. She'll underestimate non-purebloods and Jedi, but only once. She isn't stupid. Going hand in hand with that is her paranoia. She automatically assumes that, unless they're securely under her thumb, whoever is around her is an enemy. Even if she has them under control she still doesn't fully trust them. This, of course, leads to her seeing everyone as a threat even when they aren’t which could lead to rash decisions.

As mentioned in her personality, she irrationally distrusts if not outright despises people who remind her of the events leading her to and the events during her Academy days. (Brutish and/or Sadistic people and humans.)

Given the brutal way the Sith took her family and forced her to shape as they desired, to chose power and strength over everything, Zanna occasionally finds herself wondering what it would be like to have been trained by the Jedi rather than the Sith and if it is not better on their side.

Having to never worry about your so called allies stabbing you in the back, your food being poisoned in the base supposed to be safe, to be constantly grabbing and clawing at power. She tells no one of these thoughts, and often immediately latches onto whatever is at hand to distract herself from those stray thoughts and pretend they never happened.



Zanna is a social Sith, though only because she wants to get a feel of those around her. It's best to know your enemies before making a move against them.



There's probably something, but I haven't thought of it. Unless I say otherwise, assume everything is a go.



Drugs and the Force to play upon their emotions and make them question their creed. Nothing physical. Zanna detests physical torture.



Of course! If they play their cards right, they may even turn her.



Drug induced romances, is a bad thing really that bad if both parties are in love? Emotional play upon the Jedi and others. Basically a lot of mind games if I can get them to go properly.

A young Vebra at the onset of the war.

Name: Vebra Mirthios
Species: Zabrak (1/8th human)
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Faction: Jedi Strike Team
Rank: Republic Special Forces Captain
Training: Various Jedi Sparring partners, Combat Experience


Height: 1.9 Meters
Weight: 270 lbs.
Eyebrow Hair color: Black
Skin Color: Caramel

Standing at 1.9 meters tall I’m physically imposing to most with a muscular build.. While in between missions or deployments I will usually gain nearly a dozen pounds due to my trouble keeping body fat while living off rations. My features are predominantly Zabrak. I have a Jato on either side of my neck with the smaller ends pointing towards the middle of my throat, both of these are tribal tattoos given to me after completing my rite of passage.I also have an assortment of tattoos below the neck line. I also have seven small orat on my crown in a V pattern with the tip of the V being on the transition between my forehead and crown. All of these fit into my helmet and are a near white color. my eyes are an intense purple. Due to my Human lineage I do have eyebrow hair, which is strange for a Zabrak, so I simply keep it shaved down to hide my Human ancestry. My nearly pure Zabrak ancestry gives me denser bones, both contributing to my weight but also giving me an edge in a fist fight.

My body has had a heavy toll taken on it from the long war. Both my forearms are more scar tissue than skin at this point due to my fighting style. While the armor technicians give us special forces better gear it didn’t stop me from getting shot several times earlier in my career, while the armor saved my life I possess 3 slightly faded circular burn wounds. My back and part of the left side of my neck was also scorched from a thermal detonator but those burns are fading just like my blaster burns. I have yet to get my Jato fixed in those areas due to personal reasons. Funny side story, one of those blaster bolts actually burned off my left nipple. It’s a little annoying to look at in a mirror.

I don’t really care what clothing I’m wearing while off duty as long as there is a Republic insignia on it, I used to actually dress as a mechanic sometimes just to avoid questions from regular rank and file about my scars however. My armor has been destroyed and replaced more times than I can count, the only thing I keep consistent (and ask my soldiers to do for squad unity purposes) is that I will paint the arms and helmet green or tan, helps blend into the environment after all. This is what I’m currently using. The unique features of this armor are that I’ve refitted the forearm guards to be a cortosis weave backed by durasteel plate. Usually surprises the apprentices when their sabers get stopped cold on my arm, I prefer to keep them away with my Beskad but it sure beats losing a leg or a head. My primary tool for incapacitations is my left wrist mounted rocket injector. This is 5 loaded rocket boosted syringes full of knockout serum designed to either slow enraged Sith down or to render turned Jedi unconscious. This device is however only effective up to about five meters in most circumstances due to their limited fuel. However, I do keep a few bolts on me that work out to about fifteen meters, but I don’t keep these loaded by default, their a little bulkier and inhibit my wrist movement due to the extra fuel. I dare to think what this compound would do to an ordinary humanoid. The lab boys said something about it stopping most peoples hearts, lucky I got two of them then aye? Jokes aside I keep a single dose of the retroactive agent on my person, just incase. My primary weapon however is a compact rifle designed for short to medium range combat. I’ve also modified it to be able to take my Beskad as a bayonet which almost doubles the length of the weapon.


I’ve seen so many men die under my command during this whole Sith hunting business I… haven’t been able to make new friends in years. What ones I still have left are slowly dwindling from this blasted war. I realize one day this conflict will end and it terrifies me. If I stop to think about how alone I really am in this position of command I might finally crack, who knows what that means. I came close once, during a brief time as a Sith captive on Alderaan. I have no wish to ever come that close to my mental cliff again. As long as I have something to do and to focus on I’ll be alright. I just hope something back home will be able to fill this void for me when we’re done.

Well that’s a funny story actually. I actually am weak in the force, much to my parents and a few sergeants surprise. While I can’t do anything fancy like double back flips in the air or close a 100 meters in seconds I can at least keep up with them in some ways. I have a very weak Precognition allowing me to match saber strikes with my Beskad or my gauntlets. I also am able to use a sort of Telekinetic Defense to avoid getting rag dolled like I’ve seen happen when higher level force users get into crowds. While this may be related to my mild force abilities, trying to “suggest” I leave the door unguarded so you can sneak out and fraternize isn’t going to work.


This is unsurprisingly where I specialize. I’m an accomplished Special Operations Trooper, meaning I’ve seen both the trenches and backlines sabotage. While I’m not much of a bomb maker I can at least cook you up something to take down a power plant or a local defense grid. Meaning I've had a great deal of experience making and disarming IED's, this comes with some knowledge of Imperial security systems. It's possible I can run into security systems I've never seen before but if given enough time with it I might be able to splice it or at least determine a weak point in a defense grid. But my main skills however are in my marksmanship and hand-to-hand combat. Training day in and day out with rifles for the better part of two decades means I can take a womp rat out at several hundred yards without breaking much of a sweat. But that’s not what your here for, you wanna know how I can even match Sith in hand to hand. Due to my special occupation as founder of the first Republic Army Sith Kill Team I have had a great deal of training with both Jedi and against Sith in the field. I’ve taught two classes of recruits now (with Jedi help of course) how to outsmart and overpower Sith apprentices.

Getting into upper level Sith however gets rather tricky. The only Sith lord we’ve managed to kill I was only able to keep up with for a short time before we had to start doing squad rotations on him with the assistance of a Jedi. Being a few years removed from that now though me and the other trooper that survived that mission have spent quite a bit of our time training with Jedi in the way of Soresu. While I wouldn’t consider myself proficient in a lightsaber form I would say it’s been the main reason I’m still standing.


Born on the Zabrak homeworld of Iridonia into the traditional clan of Mirthios I was always destined to become a warrior. Even at a young age play fighting with my brothers and other kids my age in the clan I always seemed like I enjoyed fighting. I have fond memories of almost being killed multiple times by people or things bigger than me. Even though I began to mellow out at around the age of eight I was then introduced to the martial combat my people so love. It was during this that I showed to be unnaturally good at picking out what someone was going to try and due to me. Dodging counter strikes I shouldn't have been able to see, backing off a fight when I knew I couldn't win. I even managed to push some things without even touching them. my parents took this information correctly, realizing I was force sensitive and it was then that I was taken to the Jedi Academy on Alaris Prime.

While not only did I come there at a rather late age for younglings I still tried my hardest to be good in my studies and learning of the force. For some reason though I constantly struggled with connecting to the force or being able to use my abilities in any meaningful way. My young self having been instilled since birth with the ideals of achieving excellence in all things tried futilely to keep up with my peers. Being the right age, I began to feel left out when my friends were beginning to leave the academy with their new masters. This continued for several more years until I turned 12 and the Jedi finally gave me the option to either join the service corp or go home after I failed my initiate trials. I failed them due to the fact that I had missed the point of them, to reach out with the force and create something worth while with it. I ended up assembling the saber correctly but did so with my own two hands instead of with any use of the force. This failure weighed heavily on me through the rest of my teens and helped to me also fail my third trial of insight. I was unable to identify the darkness within myself. Being 12 I decided home was where such a failure as myself belonged and left, but I was encouraged heavily by the Jedi to continue doing good for the galaxy.

Upon my return I was welcomed back with open arms but I internalized those feelings of failure throughout the rest of my childhood. My primary escape from this feeling was in continuing my training in combat. Also at this time my aunt had a child and I was asked to help watch her and care for her, perhaps to teach me how useful failure was. Between being given responsibility and continuing my combat training I managed to push down my feelings of failure and of not being good enough for awhile. My cousins were almost my own brothers and sisters, seeing as they were only a short walk from our family home. This also meant that I started my rite of passage rather late compared to other members of my family. While my low level force sensitivity and being older helped me with my passage it was still one of the most grueling things I’ve experienced in my life.

When I was a bit older I had a bit of a fling with a Human padawan girl a year older than me named Serina. Turned out she remembered me from our youngling group back at the academy and we had had a bit of a connection, being from families with military traditions. Whenever we talked, everything felt like it was understood, we didn't even have to speak sometimes. We had spent a lot of time in angst around each other as we matured, I guess we just finally happened to cross each other the right time at that market. I found out she was being given some time away from her master to explore Iridonia before they headed out to the Outer Rim. The time seemed.... right. I enjoyed the few days we had together before word of war reached us and her time on the planet was cut short. As we parted ways her allegiance to the Jedi confirmed my decision to join the Republic armed forces, after all, the Jedi had told him to do something positive right?

For my first few years of service, I was shuffled around to several fronts and didn't actually see much action. Most of the battlefields had degenerated into vast no man's lands with little interaction of troops in any meaningful way. However, while awaiting reassignment to another front, Alderaan was attacked. When news arrived of the capture of the royal family I along with most of my garrison was lead by Jedi Satele Shan to assist in slowing down or even stopping the Imperial march on the capital city. While the forward forces had already engaged the army and the Sith leading them I was part of the wave of reinforcements that arrived with the Jedi.

While the fighting in the dense forest was brutal it eventually became the Republic's first victory in the war. My battalion was disbanded due to heavy losses and what remained of our battalion was scattered across the galaxy. I did run into a few of those boys later in my life but they even are dwindling in number. I had the honor however of being shuffled into a new battalion being formed to hunt Sith. But nothing was ever so easy. As we left Alderaan in our shattered and temporarily consolidated forces our transport convoy was attacked by Mandolorians. For reasons I never understood, the crazy Jawa's boarded us. Their troop transports drilled through our hulls and they poured forth into the interior of our ship while most of us were still putting on our boots. As soon as I left the armory I was saved by a corporal who shoved me out of the way of a thermal detonator.

Wishing to honor my comrades sacrifice I leveled my rifle at the Mandolorians and began firing. As we pushed them out back towards their boarding craft several Mando's began pulling out various melee weapons including vibroblades and beskads, which he could only guess had been in their families for awhile. As they charged into us their superior armor granted them the ability to take enough of our fire to close the distance with us. Narrowly dodging the swing of a beskad I tackled the assailant at the waist and knocked off his helmet. As he went for his pistol I grabbed his helmet and smashed his head with it. As the dazed soldier tried to regain his bearings I kept hitting him. Bringing the helmet down on the soldier's head until all that was left was a sticky warm paste. That was my first kill that wasn't me staring down an enemy meters away and watching them drop. This was real for me.

After being given R&R befitting my multiple combat engagements I was also able to keep a trophy. A Beskad from the man I had beaten to death with my bare hands. I kept a hold of that blade for a long time, training with it in my spare time while also hiding it from my superiors for quite some time, lest I reveal that I took a trophy. My unit specifically bounced around from planet to planet fighting on new fronts against the seemingly never ending hoard of well trained Imperial troopers. Our squad happened to be one of the few to come up against Sith and not require overwhelming force to take them out. We were able to surround this Sith pureblood apprentice in a warehouse and with a series of explosives, we managed to force him into a compromised position. I took it upon myself to be the sacrificial nerf and engaged him with my beskad while my squad mates fire down on us. While I was in close I detonated a repulser grenade which while burning my hand had the consequence of knocking us both down. My squad, as they were ordered, fired down on the now stunned Sith.

High Command recognized us all with promotions and began using my squad as a hit and run kill team. We were deployed behind enemy lines more than a few times. My team and I picked up numerous skills and several replacements along the way. While we had the occasional officer assassination order most of our work became Sith killing. After nearly a decade of this at the beginning of a newly redoubled offensive effort by the Imperials my squad and I managed to bag our first Sith lord kill with the help of a Jedi knight and half an artillery battalion. We had him pinned with heavy weapons emplacements for three days while we crawled through a network of trenches, fighting tooth and nail with a contingent of regular army no less then a hundred meters behind us. We were the tip of the spear.

We fought multiple Sith apprentices and even a Sith Juggernaut on our way into the complex. It turned out however the Jedi had decided to send their own knight to infiltrate the compound, without telling us. We weren't unwelcoming of the support but we were suspicious as to why the council had not told us to begin with. Half the squad was either maimed or killed during the encounter but in the end we prevailed. Republic command saw fit to expand the few squads they had acquired like ours into more. While the ultimate goal was to create a whole company of troopers able to directly combat Sith on the battlefield it proved difficult to train people to do our job. At this point the Republic reached out to the Jedi to specifically help them train men to combat these lower leveled Sith, as well as those of us from the original units.

While the Jedi agreed to loan a knight or two and few dozen padawans most of the trainers for my company were forced to be deployed to the front. While the project was not abandoned training has slowed to barely be able to replace the occasional death of a member of these squads. I actually ran into Serina during this time at the staging ground on Ord Mantell before being deployed to Serenno. She had lost an arm and gotten a robotic replacement since I last saw her. This didn't diminish our feelings for each other however, we've actually made plans to get together after the war. Just have to hope she makes it through.

Though after the loss at Serenno my squad and I were barely able to escape the planet before it came under Imperial occupation. Now we’re waiting on new orders, what we’ve heard come through the pipe is talk of a combined offensive with the Jedi to take out some Darth or a few lords. This is all less than chatter though, we can barely stand the inactivity though. Almost makes me wish they’d send us out to Balmorra.


My sense of duty to the Republic and my fellow soldiers are mostly what keeps me going. Getting back at the Sith for all the pain and suffering they’ve caused me though, that’s just icing on the cake for me. But it’s also possible I keep going out of fear for what an Empire dominated galaxy might look like. Nothing but brutal politics and poor architecture, who would want such a thing? I try to keep things jovial when we’re in the thick of it but sometimes even I will cut into a serious cool calm just to keep everyone from doing anything stupid. While I don’t particularly like strategic planning I like to go into every situation with at least some sort of contingency plan. When I’m in the thralls of hand-to-hand however I will use whatever emotion gives me strength as it’s no longer about me keeping the men calm in that moment. This is about me crushing the skull of my enemy so that he may not do the same to me. Outside of combat I like to keep things light, the battlefield and life are serious enough as is, no need to add.

Assuming your talking about my Beskad, defensively. There is not a chance I would be able to keep up with the faster lightsaber forms on their terms. Best bet for me is to sit back and wait for my allies to do something or for the enemy to tire themselves out.

Fa-Val-Kuul, she commanded one of my battalions back in the early days. I would count her has a friend and would answer any call she put out for aid.

Jayda Mirthios, my niece and what may well be a second little sister. While I haven’t been back to the home world in years word had gotten to me that her brother had been killed and she had been made MIA presumed dead. I don’t believe it though, she’s a tough girl. I regretted not being able to make it back for her Res’Selenoren.



As I’ve said, he’s very weak in the force. That being said what little ability Vebra has put considerable effort into his Telekenetic Resistance and somewhat into Precognition. With the exception of the Darth and one of the stronger in the force lords it is unlikely that a Sith will be able to toss him around like a regular trooper, meaning you have to actually fight him if he wants to fight. The Precognition is purely to aid in his defense and it’s likely that say a Makashi user would be able to act faster than Vebra could utilize this ability. He is lightly trained in Mind Cleanse, primarily for benefit of avoiding succumbing to dark side influence upon contact with a lord.

Yes, Jayda. This is Vebra’s niece, meaning he would very much like her to survive any encounter he meets her in. Should he encounter her it is very likely that Vebra will be able to convince her to surrender if other Jedi are around, so this should likely be kept in mind.


Vebra is a brawler for all intents and purposes, meaning that he will be up close and using heavy strikes if he is on the offensive. However, his offense is very weak compared to his defense but not unbreakable. Illusions and general mind tricks are much more likely to work on Vebra than any Jedi that is on the Jedi team. Even if he is able to tell that he is being toyed with he does not have the tools to free himself from the influence of such force abilities. As I’ve previously discussed fast attacking opponents or multiple opponents will make Vebra’s “street” Soresu fall apart and will likely put him in a dire situation fast.

Vebra’s weakness in the force is one of his greatest assets in this case. While dark side temptations still exist for non-force sensitive it’s much more difficult to become a corrupted shell of an individual due to it’s influence. Having dealt with Sith enough to have “felt” the dark side Vebra has had a Jedi master teach him how to fortify himself against it. While this isn’t perfect it will at least keep him fighting in the presence of a massive source of the dark side like a darth.

Vebra is a generally easy going guy outside of combat and sometimes even while in it. His goal while on deployment is to save as many of his men as possible and complete their objective, everything else is secondary. Vebra has a very strong sense of duty and loyalty to the Republic, especially after having his loyalty tested many times by Republic High Command, both on purpose and as a bi-product of some of their orders. His main motivations are the preservation of the Republic and defense of his soldiers.

Short of actually killing him, no. Even if you lop off a leg he’ll get a cybernetic replacement and keep fighting. Breaking him mentally is also a possibility but I would be interested in seeing someone try.

With the exception of torture, yes. Vebra is willing to put aside every ethic of the Republic military to complete his missions, however rarely has he needed to. He has no issue with executing unarmed prisoners if they bring a danger to the mission.

I would if it wouldn’t mean his immediate execution since he is a non-jedi making his capture likely to result in an execution. Barring that I wouldn’t mind Vebra being captured.

Vebra is a tool of war. He will do what he is tasked to do, if killing Darth Nyiss is still his mission then that is what he will be doing.

Name: Zez Keltra
Species: Shi’ido
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Faction: Sith Empire
Rank: Apprentice Inquisitor
Master: Sith Lord Vivithe Lansha
Former master(s): I have only had one other master, a Jedi Knight by the name of Bor’nah over 25 years ago.
Homeworld: None. My species originates from Lao-mon.
Trained at: The Jedi Temple on Coruscant and then at the Sith Academy for a time
Spoken Languages: Anything I can learn, but mostly Basic and Shi'idese
Written Languages: Just Basic, Shi'idese has no written form
3.3 actual years = 1 physical maturity year
1 actual year = 1 mental maturity year

76 years old (mentally) ~ 23 years mature (physically)
76 ~ 23 Present day
A few months ago Became Lord Vivithe’s Apprentice
66 ~ 20 Gained the rank of Apprentice Inquisitor
50 ~ 15 Joined the Sith Empire
48 ~ 14.5 War starts
45 ~ 13.63 Finally became a Padawan
29.7 ~ 9
16.5 ~ 5
4 ~ 1.2 Found and brought to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant
Force Speed - (Master) He can use the Force to increase the speed of his movements during combat, and to slow down his perception of the world, giving him more time to react to a situation and allowing him to see in slow motion so he can dodge attacks easily and attack more quickly with greater accuracy. He can also use this to run on vertical surfaces, for a brief amount of time. In using this power he’s not as in control as he is with any of his other skills, and often feels that the Force is guiding his actions instead.

Mind Trick - (Advanced) He can use voice manipulation to resolve many matters in a non-violent way and to persuade others to do something they wouldn’t normally. A basic skill to have, but something he has worked with a lot. He is very good at defending himself as well as breaking down the defences of others.

Telekinesis - (Advanced) He has greater strength than control with this skill, able to overcome the Force Weight of other Force users and throw people and things around without much strain on himself.

Force Jump - (Advanced) Another rather basic skill that he’s practiced diligently; he can easily jump more than twice his own height, and combined with his ability in Force Speed large gaps are child’s play to him.

Breath Control - (Advanced) He can keep this up for 4 hours at a time when actively doing something, and for 12 hours if he’s completely inactive. This skill is very useful to him when underwater, in space, or when trying not breathe in a poisonous gas or other airborne pathogen.

Force Choke - (Intermediate) Is any explanation other than his skill level really necessary here? He can choke people: classic sithy bad guy skill.

Telepathy - (Intermediate/Innate) His species’ natural telepathy only deals with giving others the impression that he is who or what he looks like, useful for blending in with packs of beast that use smell or any way other than looks to identify other members of their species. He has practiced to allow him to also communicate with people, though he must be within a certain distance for it to work (about ½ a kilometer).

Crucitorn - (Intermediate) He can amplify his own senses or other’s. He needs to concentrate to use this, more than with any of his other abilities.Shi’ido:

• Have an average lifespan of 500 years. They are considered adults at 61.
• In their natural forms, are humanoids with pale skin, wide mouths, and deep set eyes.
• Have skeletons that are made of very thin, dense, and pliable bone. They can also detach their tendons and move them around their body at will. This is part of what allows them to Skinshift.
• Are able to drastically increase their mass, and have ‘hidden flesh’ within their bodies to help with such transformations.
• Are able to change the texture of their skin to mimic whatever they wish. Rocks, trees, scales, fur… anything really.
• Are not limited to taking only humanoid forms, and feel no pain or discomfort from skinshifting.
• Skinshifting takes a little bit of time, but the form stays even if they are unconscious.
• While they can shift to look exactly like someone, even one who has a prosthetic limb, they can make their skin look and feel exactly like metal, but a scan will show a biological print there.
• Have a form of telepathy which they use to project false impressions upon others, allowing them to cover up any inconsistencies with their transformations. A Shi'ido could project the feeling that they were exactly the same as the particular person/thing they made themselves seem to be.
• Telepathy requires great concentration, and they would lose control of it if they were distracted.

Name: Astera Nalin
Species: Zelosian
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Faction: Jedi Rescuer
Rank: Master
Master: I have no current master, I am a Master!
Former master(s): A man by the name of Seri White, who died in battle a little less than a decade ago.
Homeworld: Zellos II
Trained at: The Jedi Praxeum on Arkania
Spoken Languages: Basic and Zelosian
Written Languages: Just Basic, and that's hard enough.

Telekinesis - (Master) She has extreme amounts of both strength and control with this skill, as she should as a Sage.

Serenity Trance - (Master) A brief and specialized meditative state for use in battle. If she can do this for even just a few seconds mid-battle it will allow her to regain her focus and power.

Center of Being - (Master) Another specialized form of meditation, and a stance used in lightsaber combat. When in such a state, she can almost unconsciously defend from even the most flowing random attacks and feints.

Alter Damage - (Advanced) She doesn’t wish to harm her opponent any more than necessary, and this skill is perfect for that purpose. She’s able to prevent her strikes from doing barely any damage at all if she wants, and has a great amount of control over this ability to ensure that.

Mind Trick - (Advanced) She is able to defend herself against most mind tricks, and able to trick most anybody if they’re not defending themselves as well. She’s never really tried to trick another force user before, as she’s had no reason to try it on Jedi, and with Sith she’s usually too busy fighting or throwing things around with telekinesis to try it.

Force Empathy - (Advanced/Innate) She’s a natural empath, and picks up other’s emotions with little effort. Almost all her training with this has been in order to control what she senses, and to tune out the emotions that could cause her to loose her own calm or harm her.

Comprehend Speech - (Advanced) She is easily able to grasp and comprehend the meaning of alien words when attempting to communicate with any being she would not normally be able to understand. Use of this skill takes minimal effort and it kicks in almost automatically on her part.

Force Sight - (Intermediate) While most younglings are taught to sense what’s around them with the force, she studied this further as a way to compensate for her species’ blindness in the dark. She’s able to clearly make out everything within 15 meters of her without needing much focus, and up to 150 meters with concentration. Anything much farther away than that she needs to meditate in order to see.

Force Healing - (Intermediate) She can heal herself or another, but it won’t do much. She can heal mild wounds and take the edge off of worse ones, but any severe wound would take a lot of focus to do anything to, and would most likely need many treatments to completely heal. She has trained with this skill enough to no longer need to meditate in order to use it, but it doesn’t hurt to do so anyway.

Detoxify Poison - (Intermediate) She originally wanted to learn this skill in an attempt to see if she could neutralize the effect that sugar has on her, as other species have been able to do the same with alcohol. It does take the edge off, but she’s a lightweight when it comes to ‘drinking’. Other toxins are much easier for her to neutralize, and tend to clear her system in about half the time they normally would when she focuses.Zelosians:

• Are blind in the dark
• Have Chlorophyll sap instead of blood
• Get drunk off of Sugar
• All have Emerald green eyes

Nothing is mentioned on the wiki about them needing sunlight to survive, So I’m going to assume it doesn’t affect them that much unless they go without sunlight for weeks, maybe months, on end.

Technically, there’s no single favored method Sith use to kill other Sith. Poison is a useful tool, but only one of many.

Wookiees is spelled with a double O and a double E. Rather strange, but then, they planet is spelled with a triple Y, so…

You sure you want those teeth to be steel? Steel corrodes. A rusty mouth is probably not very comfortable. Suggestion: Have the teeth be Alchemised metal that has been modified to be both more durable and nigh-indestructible (under conditions that don’t break the rest of the mouth, mind you).

Powerbase → power base

The paragraph with the mention about other apprentices seems… misplaced… the two just above and below it seem to belong together.

That reference in relations to another apprentice… Who is that? We do not have any female echani apprentices on our lists. We think you might’ve forgotten to edit that part since Asura left the rp.

All in all, this is the sort of Sish sheet we expected from you. A consistent sheet with just need to pick at a few points for clarification. Nice work.

I hate to say this, but this Sheet simply does not meet the exacting standards required for a Jedi Master. Submitted a Jedi Knight, it would likely suffice, but Astera is not currently worthy of the title of Jedi Master.

Firstly, she has no feats of note to her name. She has not won any battles, defeated any notable Sith, uncovered any mysteries of the Force, solved any particularly difficult missions, trained from any notable holocrons or demonstrated any great wisdom relating to difficult events. This is not an exhaustive list of possible feats she could’ve performed. Be imaginative. What events and actions made her stand out? This goes for being a Sage as well as being a Master. This point relates to acceptance in general and being a master, the following ones relate to being a master only and need not be changed if you choose to drop down to a Knight.

Secondly, simply training a padawan (or several) to knighthood is not sufficient to become a master. You cannot become a master without doing so, but you must do more than simply this. Her specific training methods currently demonstrates reasons why she should not be a master. The initial failure is fine, but her reaction to it by coddling her next apprentice would’ve been noted by the Councils. This is most certainly not in her favor as it demonstrates quite clearly that she is being ruled by her emotions, and instead of truly learning from her mistake, over-compensating into a new mistake.

Thirdly, throughout her sheet she shows that she continues to be overwhelmed by her empathy. She believes she is in control but she is not. A Jedi Master must be in control of their emotions, and this empathy is included in that.

Finally, we know nothing about a full twenty years of her life. This time period is most likely the one in which she would’ve been learning and demonstrating the high level abilities she has, gaining her title as a Sage, and showing the qualities needed to earn the rank of Master. As it reads, we know how she was when she was 26, but must then assume she did not change for the following twenty years.

In addition, the very concept of the rescue operation, with the peace treaty in mind, is not something the Jedi Order or the Republic can formally approve of. The presence of a single Jedi master in it will be hard enough for republic/jedi diplomats to explain to the Sith Empire. If they are confronted with the fact that there’s not just one, but two jedi masters specifically sent out after the treaty was signed as well as the Jedi Master in charge of the Strike team, it would put the Treaty of Coruscant in a very bad light. As such, this needs to be an absolutely stellar example of a Jedi Master to allow us to look past that fact. You are welcome to attempt to bring her to this standard, but if the standard is not met we will expect Astera to drop down to a Knight.

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Grammar. There are numerous instances where you seemed to have forgotten to proofread. After you make edits to take the above into account, we expect you to go through the sheet a full time once more just to comb for these. Everyone makes mistakes (We GMs trawl the other GM sheets for such.)

As a helpful hint, we’ll mention that the zelosian homeworld is spelled “Zelos II”.

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Species.
Just like Echo likes Miraluka and Fallen likes Zabrak, Ellri like Zelosians. As such, standards for anyone using any of these species will be harsh. The species are (of course) not auto-denied, but sheets have to be good with them. For Zelosians in particular, the official lore is somewhat lacking. This means that anyone using the species has to know how to expand lore and to do it in a plausible manner.

Firstly. Skin color and tone. The base color of Chlorophyll is green. As such, a being with that in its veins will not have a red-flushed skin tone. Zelosians do not stand out overmuch from mammalian species, so their chlorophyll-based blood is probably not the most intense green color. Even so, the skin might, especially where veins are near the surface, have a faint greenish tinge to it.

Secondly. Hair. As a plant-based species, their hair will probably reflect this. “Natural” hues will be more likely. Various shades of brown are not to be found unexpected. A vivid shade of red would be quite unusual, just as such is quite unusual on earthly plants. In a fashion, hair plausibly serves some of the same purpose as foliage would on a tree or a bush.

Thirdly. Sunlight, nutrients and water. As a plant, all of these will be important. The primary purpose of Chlorophyll in plants is in being an essential element for photosynthesis. While Zelosians presumably use it for other purposes as well, they will most likely use photosynthesis just as much as they use food. Water is also important, as like humans, they’re probably mostly water inside. If there’s enough sunlight and water around, a Zelosian can presumably go without food for far longer than any non-plant species can.

Fourthly. Known traits. Zelosians are night-blind. As Echo will cover later (and can explain in detail to you) Force Sight isn’t like regular sight. Even with training and focus in that, the night blindness will affect her.
Their reaction to sugar is another known flaw to this species. Even if she is taught all about the dangers of sugar, the odds of her not getting drunk on sugar (intentionally or not) in a 46-year long life are not particularly good.

Finally. Lore expansion. The above four sections are only a few examples of how this species’ lore can be expanded. We fully expect you to go beyond the short sections above and to build it all into both her bio and the rest of her sheets. Flaws rooted in the species belong in the flaws section just as much as character flaws do. We look forward to see a second attempt at doing the Zelosian species justice. For example, getting a lot of sunlight could make her skin more green, as her body might produce more chlorophyll to better utilize the sunlight. Their version of a tan, so to speak.

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Force Powers:
Force Sight is not a power that functions in such a binary way as currently listed. If you wish to have Force Sight at more than the basic level, it must be portrayed properly. We suggest you contact Echo and discuss at length with him how it works at these higher levels if you still wish to make use of it.

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Finally, if there’s anything you want to ask about or happen to be uncertain on whether would be appropriate, don’t hesitate to ask any of the GMs. If one can’t answer properly, he (or she) will send your question on to the right one.

You have not yet answered all the comments in the previous review.

Why was he trained in Crucitorn? What led to this training? How good is he at it? Is his skill theoretical or does he have any prior experience in using it? Because of its value in a setting like Aftermath, we expect good reasoning for the presence of this skill upon someone’s sheet. We see it is explained a little down in the pain threshold question. It would be appreciated if it was covered where the power is first mentioned too.

Jar’Kai still isn’t a lightsaber form. It is still merely an adjustment to the seven standard forms to make use of multiple lightsabers. In most cases, we think a user would first learn to wield the saber with their primary hand, then their offhand, and only after they had decent skill at that would they be taught to wield two blades. In cases of species with more than two arms, this would probably be extended even further to account for any additional arms.

You still have an instance of this “psychomentry”. Discard that N. It doesn’t belong there.

We would presume that the number of battles they took part in would be “countless” or “innumerable” not several.

With the death of his master, he would probably not immediately have been put through the trials. In particular because of the significance of such a loss to a Jedi Padawan. They might assign him to another master to both see that he is ready and to help him deal with the loss. Masters assigned in cases like these are most typically among the most experienced available. Alternatively they may have kept him in a temple for observation for a little while to see how he coped with the loss.

To put an offer on the table to solve this, we’ll put forward Gar Halcorr as a candidate for this, simply because he’s trained a number of padawans to knighthood, and he’s very experienced. He’s also not really connected to all that many characters yet.

If he’s afraid of using psychometry on corpses, could you provide an example of why he’s afraid (in the bio, for example)?

We dislike the specific reference to PTSD, as that is an earth term and rather breaks with the setting. Could you phrase it so that the specific acronym isn’t used or just refer to it as personal trauma?

Physical torture is but one element of how the Sith go about torturing prisoners. How would he handle other forms?

What sort of torture do you think would affect him the most?

Feel free to complete the edit in technical data about removing “master” and putting in “commander”.

Drones - How many does she have of these? Is she able to make more or simply repair them because keep in mind while on planet, supplies can be limited. And you won’t have a ship coming in to transport supplies for her drones only every day or even week, so she’s going to have to likely have some skill in drone building even if it’s shoddy or not as good as others. This might also allow her to branch off to minor repair of other things too to a point.

Stealth Field Generator - in aftermath, the sort of stealth field generators available are… large and clunky. They can be moved between locations, but that requires a huge repulsor sled or similar cargo transport. Oh, and they are very power-hungry. You need a powerful generator simply to keep it operational. The strike team has one large stealth field generator for their encampment that they can power up, but they can’t keep it running all the time due to the power drain.

However, to provide a similar advantage, we’d suggest significant skill in camouflage, maybe even expertise. On a planet like Feena, spotting someone in the jungle with the Force alone would require being able to carefully filter away all other lifesigns, of which there are… many.

Traditional camouflage in Star Wars does not only mean paints and camo netting. It could easily include convenient pieces of technology to make it all even more believable to those not meant to see through it. Technology could include things like stuff to conceal heat signatures, jam certain sensors, etc. You probably get the idea.