You know I’m right deep in the center of your cockles.

@Inkarnate Way to cut out half of my message.

Never did I once say that it was "okay" for said people to "discriminate" against other genders/sexes. All I was saying(and am continuing to do so) is that people are free to choose which gender/sex they write with.

In other words "I'm not saying it's okay to discriminate, I'm just saying it's okay to discriminate".

At the risk of being the one who sounds like a broken record "being uncomfortable" with RPing with a certain gender is NOT an excuse. "Being uncomfortable" is a reason people give that sounds better than the real reason they don't want a certain gender partner. I think my favourite part about this conversation so far is the steadfast inability of people to volunteer a real reason.

You're uncomfortable because...why? Because you're a dude and you don't like the idea of doing sexy RPs with another dude? This is some subtle way of adding #NOHOMO to your list of rules? Or is it because you genuinely don't think a female is capable of playing a male character (or vice versa)? That's not an excuse either, because now you're making assumptions about my abilities without even knowing me.

Would it be okay to add these to my preferences:

-No black or brown people, I'm only "comfortable" writing with white people. (Read: I'm racist and if you Skype call me my Nazi flag will be on the wall behind me.)
-No fags/lesbos. (Read: Sorry, I can't risk sexy times with characters played by non-straights because I need to know there's a possibility your jollies are getting off on our RP.)
- No Muslims or Jews. (Read: Once again, I'm racist and also a bigot.)
- No cripples or spazoid autistics. (Read: I'm an ableist fuck who can't handle the thought of my RP partner being neuro-divergent or blind or in a wheelchair or something.)
- No fatties. (Read: This actually matters somehow because I just hate fat people.)

Did you like all of those? Then why is "Male partners only" or "No dudes" okay?

-No dudes. (Read: Because I'm a dude and I don't want to think that my dick is smaller than yours.) <- This is pretty much what I put in the blank when I see people say "I'm uncomfortable with writing with other men."

((This also brings up an interesting point. Why is it only straight people who do this? I have never met a gay guy on here who was like 'No, I don't want to write with chicks for my MxM plot' or a lesbian who was all 'No, a guy can't write a F for my FxF'. Straight people, get your shit together.))

@Altered Tundra
I think you're being deliberately obtuse here. This argument isn't about whether people are breaking the rules of the forum by listing these restrictions in their Interest Checks. This isn't about whether or not people are physically able to be sexist on the forum. Of course they CAN do that. This argument is about whether or not that's morally acceptable. "Freedom of Speech" does not equal "freedom from consequences". Lol

You sound like one of those people who apologizes for and excuses Nazis who start spouting their hateful bile in crowded parks or street corners. This isn't about "freedom of speech". This isn't a request for the Mods to start banning these assholes. This is hopefully a wake-up call for the people who have been doing it so that they realize that they are inflicting their personal hangups onto others. This is hopefully a moment where people can do some soul-searching that will end up with them being better RPers/writers over all.

"People are uncomfortable with writing with certain genders because _______________________ "

I think Nemaisaire is the only one who gave a somewhat halfway reasonable excuse in that maybe someone who is a chick who has a real life dude partner might not want to RP with other dudes because their real life partner would get jealous, which isn't sexism on the RPers part, just some enabling of sexism in their real life partner. (And they should totally get out of that relationship because WTF!)

Fill in the blank. This is your homework assignment.

Ah, yis. This discussion brings back fond memories of whenst Briza used to lie about Briza's gender in order to play whichever gender Briza so well-pleased without discrimination. Now, Briza just speaks in third-person. Charmin' Eyebrow-Waggles 4 duh Ladiez:

I'll admit, there have been times I approached people who were looking for a partner that did not match my actual gender. A lot of the time they don't even actually ask to confirm. I guess they just assumed I read their rules and agreed to follow them to the letter. Joke's on them though, we had fantastic RPs and they never knew the truth. Which just kind of drives home the fact that even if you do have some sort of hang-up and only want to RP with a certain gender partner, you should get over it because there is no way to verify anyways so it's pointless to even put that in your interest check. Hah.

I think Nemaisaire is the only one who gave a somewhat halfway reasonable excuse in that maybe someone who is a chick who has a real life dude partner might not want to RP with other dudes because their real life partner would get jealous, which isn't sexism on the RPers part, just some enabling of sexism in their real life partner. (And they should totally get out of that relationship because WTF!)

Agree with the general gist of your post ('just play whatever the hell you want, sex doesn't matter') but I strongly disagree with this, especially the last part. I don't feel it's sexism nor do I feel it's 'strange' or even anything close to that to be jealous if your partner writes with males/females. Especially considering that the roleplays that state, blandly, 'MALES ONLY PLZ!' or 'FEMALES PLZ!' typically are not just your average slice-of-life RP. It's not just me typing out a story about Hank and Bob going to the store. Let's be real about that, too. The people asking for a specific sex are generally there to write smut. And that doesn't really equate to 'but I watch porn, surely writing smut with a 3rd party is OK!?!' because this is interactive and includes a third party.

And yeah, to be real, I can kinda understand getting jealous at that. Jealousy is a normal human emotion. Especially if said partner isn't a roleplayer and/or writer and thus doesn't really understand either way.

So yeah, can totally relate to thinking it's stupid for demanding a certain sex for your partner. But then I also think it's really stupid to instantaneously go 'reee sexism' just because someone would prefer to RP with a woman or man. Seriously, it's not that serious.

ALSO, I'm straight, and I am perfectly fine with writing with males or females. Or whatever else is out there today. It doesn't impact the RP. Not sure how my sexual preference ties into this, though.

ALSO2, I think writing 'I wanna RP with women because it gets my rocks off' should be a perfectly valid reason to RP with women only. Not your business who I do and don't write with.

<Snipped quote by Drache>

ALSO2, I think writing 'I wanna RP with women because it gets my rocks off' should be a perfectly valid reason to RP with women only. Not your business who I do and don't write with.

not all people rp smut

<Snipped quote by Odin>

not all people rp smut

Yeah, but the people who don't typically don't write ''gib me women or gib me death'' in their RP titles.

It's perfectly morally acceptable to have standards, even on roleplaying forums. This includes the standards set for characters, settings, and plots. There is no moral obligation to not have standards, even on character genders.

It's that simple.

@Odin

I think in that case instead of discriminating against others the adult and responsible thing to do would be to just not RP smut at all. To be honest, the fact that people are getting MORE bent out of shape about being gender-selective for smut RPs is actually proof to my point that there is something very skeevy and creepy about it. It goes right back to the "treating RPs as a dating service" thing. People should be able to RP with someone without conflating the IC and OOC relationships. The fact that some people can't is a problem. It leads to drama and worse. Sexism is the obvious main issue here, but even if it's not sexism exactly, it's still problematic. If you're playing your male character as being balls-deep in a female character and the RP is going well, why should it ruin it for anyone to find out that your partner is a guy instead of a girl? There is literally no logical or reasonable excuse for being uncomfortable. You're never going to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with your RP partner.

The real question here is "can we all be adults" and the answer I am getting is "no, no we can't."

It's perfectly morally acceptable to have standards, even on roleplaying forums. This includes the standards set for characters, settings, and plots. There is no moral obligation to not have standards, even on character genders.

It's that simple.

This isn’t about character genders, it’s about player genders.

@Inkarnate Same deal.

You're never going to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with your RP partner.

Doesn't mean certain folks won't try, and even come close to success on the romantic part. Haven't heard any success stories. Have heard of ongoing romances on the guild based on 1x1 threads.

@Inkarnate Same deal.

Then you're being sexist. I guess that's okay.

I'm with @Odin on this.

Let people have whatever preferences they want and judge them based on it. That applies to everything. Let stores practice apartheid or other kinds of segregation if they want, and judge them based upon it. For instance, if Coca Cola were open about being Racist, that would be nice, because then people who are strongly against racism would know not to do business with them.

If you think someone's morally bankrupt because they don't want to play with X gender and only allow Y's to apply to their interest check, click out of the thread and move on. It's not that serious.

@Inkarnate Same deal.

Not really. It is two different conflating issues. I disagree that it is acceptable to discriminate based on sex, gender, orientation, race, or anything mentioned prior. In fact, I believe Drache touched on this before. Obviously you disagree, but I don’t feel there is a rather strong argument for it being acceptable; but morals are like ethics – fluid and determinant on the individual. Such is why it is difficult to ever make an objective determination based on it.

If you think someone's morally bankrupt because they don't want to play with X gender and only allow Y's to apply to their interest check, click out of the thread and move on.

Entirely agree.

<Snipped quote by j8cob>

Then you're being sexist. I guess that's okay.

Nobody has any obligation, neither morally nor legally, to associate with anyone else. I have no obligation to like everyone, you have no obligation to interact with everyone, the guy down the street has no obligation to talk to everyone. It's not sexist, its an observation. People can, and will, do what they want.

<Snipped quote by Drache>

Doesn't mean certain folks won't try, and even come close to success on the romantic part. Haven't heard any success stories. Have heard of ongoing romances on the guild based on 1x1 threads.

And you don't see anything creepy with using RP to bait people into relationships? I mean, there's absolutely no problem with forming a genuine relationship with your partner. I met my spouse on a RP forum 15 years ago and we've been living together ever since and still RP almost daily, but we didn't find each other's genders out until 6 months into the RP.

This kind of bait-and-switch that you're suggesting is really fucked up.

Roleplaying is a hobby, not a job or governmental institution. The Equal Laws act does not apply.

If they want a specific gender and you don't like it..

Don't join. They're not obligated to give everyone a chance at rping with them. Just like how any rper can say no, u cant rp with me, to another person for any reason

That doesn't make them immune to criticism but the people in here screaming "SEXISM AND DISCRIMINATION" are kinda taking it too personally. Not being to join an 1x1 rp based on gender is shitty yes, but it's their choice to make.

Yes, they are closing themselves off to many potential rp partners, but it is their choice to make nonetheless. They have no obligation to open their rp up to everyone. Now if they were doing this in a group rp that's creepy as shit ye.

But 1x1 are 1x1s, they are private affairs. It's called 1x1 roleplay, not EQUAL OPPORTUNITY 1x1 roleplay. If you don't like that simply don't join their rp or pretend to be the gender they're asking for.

I don't see why everyone is up in arms about it.

<Snipped quote by j8cob>
Not really. It is two different conflating issues. I disagree that it is acceptable to discriminate based on sex, gender, orientation, race, or anything mentioned prior. In fact, I believe Drache touched on this before. Obviously you disagree, but I don’t feel there is a rather strong argument for it being acceptable; but morals are like ethics – fluid and determinant on the individual. Such is why it is difficult to ever make an objective determination based on it.

<Snipped quote by Hillan>
Entirely agree.

Morality is subjective, glad you understand that. That's why you should understand that it can't be morally unacceptable to discriminate in your RP partners by any metric. You can discriminate on skill and on roleplaying history, you can discriminate on anything you want. Nothing stopping you and you already do it anyways to a certain degree.

<Snipped quote by Drache>

Nobody has any obligation, neither morally nor legally, to associate with anyone else. I have no obligation to like everyone, you have no obligation to interact with everyone, the guy down the street has no obligation to talk to everyone. It's not sexist, its an observation. People can, and will, do what they want.

Once again, I'm not saying people CAN'T, I'm saying they SHOULDN'T.

Please explain to me how putting "I lack confidence in my sexuality so I only want to RP with girls" actually guarantees that all your partners will be girls. You can't claim that this is a method of reducing your obligation when you can't actually stop dudes from messaging you and pretending they are girls. It doesn't work like that, friend.