@Over Illusion Damn, did you get stung by an ineptly-made CS as a child or something?

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Paris is fine in theory, but the justification for the first NP is shaky. The second one would involve Apollo interference like how Phoebus Catastrophe does, as an aside. For Sinbad, justification for the first NP.

The second NP's sublimated into EX LCK so that's pointless, and the effect itself is a no for balancing.

George is fine.

Instinct isn't seeing the future, it's feeling the future. I recommend removing it and sticking with Clairvoyance.

Addressed Down below to prevent redundancy~ In the end though, a fluff skill and don't mind removing it

Vitrification isn't blending into the environment so much as just mental interference protection by being so calm; the emulation of PC is more akin to something that arises from the plus modifier in not!Kojiro's case, so remove that bit.

More of a fluff skill that I would of preferred the PC to be given due to the weak nature of Archer but thats fine with me. I'm fine with removing that bit although is there anyway I can ask to leave this on or making it a lesser rank to compensate or removal entirely?

The first NP doesn't feel justified in being an NP given that you're basically using an NP slot to get two extra Personal Skill slots. I'd recommend removing Instinct, redoing Clairvoyance accordingly, and subbing in Uncrowned to the then-open slot.

I thought that this Noble Phantasm would be the culmination of his legend, since the only thing that makes him remarkable is his skill. Being talented enough to defeat Arjuna in battle and have the God Krishina try to hamper Archer multiple times so that he would never surpass Arjuna, I believe this is something that should be made into a Noble Phantasm These two aspects can be combined into a single Noble Phantasm but he doesn't have many other feats.

I don't really see the point of the second Noble Phantasm, since Eternal Arms Mastership just prevents mental interference from messing with your fighting skills, but Vitrification blocks out mental interference already, so it feels very redundant. Also the same issue as above applies in that this is basically just using an NP slot as a skill slot. As an aside, even EMIYA can make his arrows into curveballs, so something like that is fairly standard for Archers.

While it may be super redundant which I agree to a degree, it would show Archer's skill and suitably fit with his legend. Vitrification would also support the other fighting skills that Archer has which will even him out in cases where he doesn't have the opportunity to use his bow. As for the physic-defying archery, I hoped to have a little more leeway with like rapid fire arrows or really accurate shots with his bow. Again just a fluff NP to highlight his skill since he doesn't have anything else suitable which can be culminated into Noble Phantasm.

@Cojemo

Funny story, I submitted Longinus for the Lancer class but I originally intended on placing Hector of Troy in the Lancer of Blue spot instead. I decided against it, since we already have Achilles as a Servant and I want to help keep the Servant pool nice and diverse, with Heroic Spirits that hail from all around the world...

...That being said, I would totally revert to Hector if you polish up Paris.

...not really. cool idea tho

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And thanks! I definitely get having diversity, but at the same time I love having those interactions when two characters who know each other meet, so that's why I didn't ditch Paris. I was thinking of having Billy the Kid or Arjuna as an archer as well, but decided against them. That, and Arjuna is pretty strong so he'd be a bit broken, haha.

Hindi Servants > literally everything that isn’t irregular or named Gilgamesh

Hindu myths are like the Dragon Ball Z of world mythology. Just when you think they can’t get any crazier with the powerlevels, someone fires an arrow at another arrow and that somehow threatens to destroy the universe.

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Hindu Servants are strong in their legends because Hinduverse is the original shounen. That said, they're drastically nerfed in Nasuland, as they should be; for instance, a Servant's Noble Phantasm that can destroy a planet does not exist, but in our world's legends there are literally hundreds of astras that laugh at planetbusting.

With that said, the Hindu Servants we've seen are all "main characters" of the epics. Rama is arguably the strongest mortal in the history of the three worlds, depending on where in India you're asking, and Karna/Arjuna aren't far behind. It's not really fair to compare them to average Servants so much as comparing them to chief culture heroes the likes of Herc and Ozy, against whom they're perfectly reasonable.

It's also worth noting that prana consumption is very much a thing. Karna's gonna wind up killing 99.999% of Masters the second he starts fighting because he's so damn inefficient. That's why Cu's a better pick unless you're like, Illya, and even then Cu's nothing to sneeze at.

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What about Ea? Also the powerlevels of some of the astras make me lol when you remember that alongside stuff like the Brahmastra that can destroy the universe there exists an astra whose sole function is to make it rain snakes.

@Gummy1295 @Over Illusion

Excuse me for meddling, but isn't it more interesting for the Spear of Longinus to be a God-killer weapon rather than an Evil-killer one? It makes perfect sense considering that it was used to put the Son of God out out of his misery that it would be a Weapon that ranks up in power against Servants with the Divinity and/or Saint personal skills. Kinda like how Enkidu works.

Maybe, t would be interesting to give it a second function, just like Gae Bolg has, too? Say... like an EX rank Anti-Unit attack that guarantees a killing blow, regardless of the target being immortal or not, with the caveat that it can only be used as in a genuine mercy kill move. Something that Longinus would do because he pities the dying target and would rather kill them than let them suffer any longer, just like he did with Jesus.

In my view, Longinus is less of a holy weapon and more of a weapon of mercy. This kind of dilutes the NP's power (considering how mercy kills are far from what you picture anyone doing a HGW), but it kinda feels more in line with the crystalization of what made it into an important item, rather than a video game-y interpretation of what it should be. Because NPs are more about "What made this be what it's?" than "What is this?" or "What should this be?"

I hope this last one made sense...

Either way, take my opinion with a grain of salt. I was just commenting at how I would try to do Longinus, if I ever chose to use him in a HGW, I'm not trying to influence your choices at all. However, if you like the idea, feel free to use it.

@Cojemo
Keep in mind Riding A won't allow for Phantasmal Species.

Golden Rule to B.

Independent Action to C since there's no backup from the Class Container; if he was Archer then B would be fine.

Why doesn't he have Voyager? Seems like something that's more or less mandatory.

Personal Skill cap is three.

The NP itself is fine on face, but I'll have to do my own research since I'm not familiar enough with Sinbad's legend to say decisively. Don't try and do dumb stuff like jumping onto a Servant's shoulders and trying to activate this.

Since this "destructive crash" is a Broken Phantasm, expect prana costs to be significant.

Lastly, I'm having trouble deciding which 2 skills to drop currently. While Golden Rule is close to useless it does define him pretty well, and Independent Action and Instinct are also pretty good character skills. Do you have any suggestions as to which I should drop?

Don Quixote [+]

Name: Alonso Quixano (Don Quixote)

Class: Lancer

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Appearance:

Weapon: La Mancha Spear ~ This is just a rusty spear. Under the effects of his Noble Phantasm, it can transform into an enchanted spear with enhanced durability, making it practically indestructible and increasing its damage by 30 points.

Personality:

Don Quixote is almost completely insane, but he is actually capable of backing up his strange manner of viewing the world with solid arguments. Even if anyone were to argue with him regarding his delusions, claiming that the knights in the stories that literally drove him crazy were all but non-existent legends, he would try to explain the concept as vehemently as possible to the point when the other person either gives up due to frustration or loses sight of reality trying to comprehend his line of argument. Below his madness, however, lies a sense of sentimentality and nobility that takes form when he's not busy crashing his reality against that of the rest of the world.

History:

Don Quixote, born Alonso Quijano, was once a bored noble from the La Mancha region of Spain with enough money to last him the rest of his life, and bookshelves full of knightly romances. He bore an unnatural attachment to books of this genre, and eventually he read so many of these stories that he went nigh-insane, believing firmly that he was a knight-errant in a world without chivalry.

Together with his faithful sidekick and "squire" Sancho Panza and his noble steed, an old barn nag named Rocinante, the three go out on misadventures all around the country of Spain searching for fame, glory, and the heart of the love of his life, a "princess" he calls "Dulcinea del Toboso."

Parameters:

STR: C
CON: D
AGI: D
MGI: D
LCK: A

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance (D) - Standard for the Lancer class.

Personal Skills:

Mental Pollution (A) - Due to Lancer having gone mad after reading too many knightly romances, his mental processes have been distorted significantly. At this rank, his chances of being affected by mental interference magecraft are very low. Also, Lancer's logic is impossible to comprehend to anyone not possessing equal or higher ranks of Mental Pollution (Unless a Command Spell is used, of course.)

Eye for Art (C) - Having spent so much time engrossed in reading knightly romances, Lancer has a chance of figuring out the true name of a given Noble Phantasm without witnessing it being used. This all applies only if said Noble Phantasm belongs to a knight (as in the case of Noble Phantasms like Excalibur, Durendal, Rhon... etc.), and hasn't been forged after the publication of the first edition of the literary piece he was summoned from, in 1605.

Unyielding Will (A) - Throughout his many misadventures, many people from all shapes and sizes had tried and failed to wake Lancer from his knightly delusions. Even when actual knights and nobles assaulted him or tried to take advantage of him, his resolve was firm. At Rank A, Lancer possesses resistance against physical and mental damage. However, said resistance will not hold against attacks that aim at beguiling others - such as illusions. For example, while there is resistance against damage from "falling into a pit trap", no resistance will be in place regarding "making a pit trap appear as solid ground with an illusion.

Noble Phantasm:

Spearheading the Renaissance** ~ La Mancha Spear

Rank: B+
Type: Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm
Range: 1-20
Maximum Number of Targets: 30

Description: Lancer's spear glows a bright blue, granting him a temporary 1-rank boost to all of his parameters until his mana drops to 0 (Applying C-ranked MGI) When the spear is tossed, it adopts the property of being able to calculate damage to any territory or structure created out of mana alone* (Temples, Workshops, structures created by Noble Phantasms...) as if Lancer's Strength were of rank A+. Additionally, while this Noble Phantasm is activated, he cannot be harmed by any attacks from Knight Servants**.

*This effect hails from the aforementioned windmill scene. I removed the idea of fighting giants because the skill is rather useless in this case, but I figured that if it's useless to slay giants, then he can destroy buildings instead.

**I wanted to note that Don Quixote de La Mancha is considered to be the first novel of the European Renaissance, forged by the mind of Miguel de Cervantes as a satire/mockery of culture in the Middle Ages, with Quixote himself becoming a parody of the concepts of chivalry and nobility that defined previous literary pieces... essentially, Quixote's very existence is an assault on the knights' honor.

@Gummy1295
Alrighty. Apologies for the snags you've been running into during the process.