Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by AriiBird
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Here's my character sheet, let me know what you think :)

Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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PerfectThought The Cat

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Here's my character sheet, let me know what you think :)



Ooh, slightly spooky, very original. I like the idea, but it could do with a little polishing.

First of all, it's not a major issue, but there are a couple of pretty noticeable typos scattered in it. (Personality and Appearance are both misspelled, and both being headings it's pretty noticeable. As well as Gloomminster being spelled as 'Gloomminister' as well as 'Glimminster'.) It's a bit of a nitpick and not a major issue, but it's a quick fix and would improve it. One of the reasons we do a draught is to just catch those little things, so a read-through for typos would be greatly appreciated. We all do it (especially if you're on mobile, I get it, it's a bitch) and there's no issue, but I would greatly appreciate it.

Next, her backstory is a little vague, I have a couple of questions I'd appreciate being answered: 1) Why did her parents ask her to wear a veil over her eyes? Is it for religious reasons? So she has access to magical powers (it lets her see possible futures could be one idea)? It says at one point her parents asked her to wear it until the day she dies, is that because she's deformed? It's somewhat implied she chooses to wear the veil and that's why she can't see and then later it says she can't see because of a disability.

2) Why can't she feel sadness or pain? Pain isn't an emotion for one. Are pain and sadness the only issues? Does she struggle with empathy or similar? I somewhat understand the inability to feel pain as it adds to her delicate, porcelain vibe, but what purpose does her inability to feel sadness serve to her as a character?

3) It's implied Areya sees for Phynnia, but if Areya can't speak, how does she communicate with Phynnia? Do they have a telepathic link? That's fine, but if so please state it. Also, does Areya look like a human girl, or is she noticeably a doll? Does she have chipped paint, and wooden joints? Is she visibly made of porcelain or something? And it's implied Areya is fully sentient, please just confirm that, or is she puppeted somehow by Phynnia? How does Phynnia view Areya? As a possession, a servant, or a sister?

4) What's she studying at Gloomminster? Could be anything! Get creative! Telekinesis to help 'feel' the world around her? Alchemy to help her father get out of debt?

5) About her father, does Areya or Phynnia feel resentment towards him for his mistreatment of Phynnia? Are they still in contact with him? It's optional, but it might help improve depth by saying what her father did, how they were rich, and why they suddenly lost it all.

Either way, really like the idea of the character, but it could do with a little bit of polishing, and then it's ready to go! Thanks for your interest. And please take this all in the best way possible, I really like her, but there are a few unanswered questions is all. :)
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by scrawls
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<Snipped quote by scrawls>

Looks great! One thing, you mentioned she's at Gloomminster Uni. What specifically is she doing? This is more so to help flesh out the world than to determine anything else, but it might crossover with other characters' classes or something similar. For example, is she doing something like Organic Alchemy combined with Arcane Automata, or something like that?


Alright, that makes sense! I have added that info about her classes to the sheet.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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<Snipped quote by PerfectThought>

Alright, that makes sense! I have added that info about her classes to the sheet.


Alright, changes look good! Feel free to put her into the Characters tab. Welcome aboard B)
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Conscripts
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@Blizz Oh same I was gonna go for artificer. But my idea is fairly specific so I think it’s possible to not overlap it.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Blizz
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@Blizz Oh same I was gonna go for artificer. But my idea is fairly specific so I think it’s possible to not overlap it.


Hopefully not lol
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by AriiBird
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@PerfectThought Ah yeah, I did it kinda of hastily haha, I think too far ahead so some things get lost. I just laugh at myself so don't worry about offending me! How's this? I highlighted the changes in red (I'll remove the red once the character sheet is approved)

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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@PerfectThought Ah yeah, I did it kinda of hastily haha, I think too far ahead so some things get lost. I just laugh at myself so don't worry about offending me! How's this? I highlighted the changes in red (I'll remove the red once the character sheet is approved)



Looks great! I like how she learnt magic from fellow elf communities. As a side note It's Gloomminster, like Westminster. I've noticed that issue in multiple posts (not just yours). So I 'spect I probably called it Gloomminister somewhere by mistake and that plays better with autocorrect or something like that. Who knows. Other than that, looks good! Fell free to put her in the Characters tab! :)
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by AriiBird
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@PerfectThought I guess it's one of those words that makes the brain fill in something that isn't actually there ha. I'll fix it while adding to the Characters Tab, don't worry :D
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mami_Wata

Going to be playing a modern spin on one of these. International student from Nigeria, coming to Gloominster to further her studies. There's a renowned Professor who is an expert in Divination. They've not met a mami wata...

That is all I got as I am rapidly falling asleep. More to follow this weekend

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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Expendable
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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by LostDestiny
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Hmmmm, do I go scary looking half-orc woman or cute Harpy boi?
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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Looks good! Move her on into the characters tab.

Interesting we only have female characters so far haha. Wonder why that is.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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Hmmmm, do I go scary looking half-orc woman or cute Harpy boi?


Oooh, either could work. Both sound cool. Whatever you feel like B)
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Gisk
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@PerfectThought

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by RickyG85
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Going to see about submitting a character in the next couple days- sorry for such a long delay, things have been a little crazy with preparations (my little guy is turning 8 on Friday XD)
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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Expendable
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<Snipped quote by Expendable>

Looks good! Move her on into the characters tab.

Interesting we only have female characters so far haha. Wonder why that is.


In her last school, Mia was made the first period hall monitor. On her first day, when students refused to listen to her and the headmistress was about to step in, she did her war cry. Within seconds, the hallways cleared completely as students and staff alike bolted for the nearest room. Not a lot got done that period, as many of them were in the wrong room and everyone was too scared to do more than whimper and cry.

Needless to say, everyone except the custodian avoided her after that.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
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@Expendable What is Mia, exactly?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Expendable
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@Expendable What is Mia, exactly?


A Celtic fury - a descendant of Neman, the lesser-known of the three goddesses who make up the Morrígna. She was know for her battle cry that turned 100 men against one another in panic-induced madness. There's also some suggestion her name means poison. Ancient Celts would also paint themselves blue using woad, so I just brought that all together.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by PerfectThought
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@PerfectThought



Liking Dana a lot. The Crow is cool, and especially his story for attaining the familiar. Just two things though, 1) Gloomminster is in Prydain (fantasy Britain), not America, haha. No big deal but a little detail to cjange to make his backstory consistent with the setting. 2) I'd like a personality section in paragraphs please.
Once you've fixed those up, he's good to go. B)
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