Make a wish, corrupt a wish.

[skidcrow]

Granted. You somehow become even more of a total fucking losers than you currently are.

I wish to delet Guild 2018

[HachiRoku]

Granted, but you have been sued by the Clinton Campaign for plagiarism.

I wish I had a blue Nintendo logo backpack.

[Majoraa]

Granted, but the backpack itself get's eaten by a wildcat. Your nintendoes are safe for now.

I wish for money to cosplay.

[Salroka]

Granted. But your house/apartment catches on fire and all your cosplay are consumed by the blaze.

I wish for an AR15 that fires bullets that are actually as dangerous as the gun control nuts think they fire.

[HachiRoku]

Granted, but the gun itself acts up so much that it breaks upon pulling the trigger.

I wish for a soft, salted pretzel.

[Salroka]

Granted, but there are live spiders inside of it.

I wish I had a spaceship with a cannon that shot crocodiles at everyone I hate, and that those crocodiles could also shoot heat-seeking killer bees to ensure there would be no escape.

[Briza]

Granted! But, now you love everyone and everything! Hooray!

I wish to live atop a Redwood Tree branch.

[Foster]

Granted, but in the distance you see fire in that nearby patch of eucalyptus trees in California.

Wishing I could murder writer's block before it murders me and all my RPs.

[The Nexerus]

Granted. Writer's block is no more. Our generation's Hitler is finally able to complete his version of Mein Kampf, and you will forever be blamed for the resulting genocide.

I wish that I could communicate telepathically.

[Lumiere]

Granted, but you have to endure the telepathic screams of any living thing you ever step on or harm, indirectly or otherwise.

I wish for retroactive retribution upon this very wish I'm making and the physiological nature of it being granted.

[Salroka]

Granted. But in addition, the retribution is also visited upon those you love and those who share your bloodline, both past and future.

I wish for a real-life SCP-999 to be found.

[Vashonn]

Granted. You are now SCP-999. Have fun tickling everyone.

I wish for an immunity to fire and other types of thermal energy.

[Salroka]

Granted. But when you walk outside the next day, a truck hits you and you die. Kinetic energy is not on your immunity list.

I wish the computers and consoles of everyone who modded multiplayer games would suddenly explode and pepper said people with plastic shrapnel.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. All the modders are wearing protective suits and are not damaged. They then get new computers and consoles and mod harder.

I wish my spelling wasn't abysmally bad.

[Salroka]

Granted, but now you don't know how to read.

I wish people didn't bitch so much.

[Dread]

Granted, although now you're experiencing hearing loss.

I wish for a wish that spawned another wish.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. You can not use the wish you just spawned.

I wish for a normal sleep schedule.

[Supermaxx]

Granted, but you experience sleep paralysis every moment you're asleep.

I wish to die.

[Hokum]

Granted, your body dies yet your mind remains alert. You watch powerlessly as they perform an autopsy on you and embalm you, as your loved ones come weeping and view you, as they put you in your coffin and drop you into the earth... soon buried in eternal darkness.

I wish I had a choc chip cookie.

[Quote5]

Granted. You have a chocolate chip cookie. With exactly one chocolate chip.

I wish I was handsome. (or basically anything other than "ugly" or "average")