Make a wish, corrupt a wish.

[HachiRoku]

Granted, but every breath requires a tax form submission.

I wish for infinite wishes that I can control.

[Peridot]

Sure thing, but you lose your mind and start thinking of batshit crazy wishes that just end up ruining your life.

I wish the human race has encountered a friendly alien race, in which first contact went off without a hitch and we are now benefiting from this new relationship.

[Majoraa]

Granted, but now we have to work together with the alien race to defeat their enemies.

I wish for a pony, simple right?

[AlteredTundra]

Granted, but it is a furry.

I wish for whatever.

[Briza]

Granted! You now have an interrogative ever!

I wish to have the willpower of a dandelion seed.

[Salroka]

Granted. But now you literally ARE a dandelion seed.

I wish that if I said "Hachooken" (Achoo + Hadoken) when I sneezed, a ki blast would shoot out of my face.

[Briza]

Granted! However, you are never able to simultaneously sneeze and say, "Hachooken" (Achoo + Hadoken). Alack!

I wish I had the stamina of a blade of grass that gets mowed every week.

[AlteredTundra]

Granted. You now have the stamina of a blade of grass, but now you are unable to stop running, and you are running straight into a raging fire.

I wish to have enlightenment.

[Darth Shadow]

You have been enlightened with the knowledge that you are a human. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just a human.

I wish the school would just end. For good.

[Salroka]

Granted. But now you are in Guantanemo Bay for a rash of serial school bombings.

I wish my spaghetti wasn't cold...

[fer1323]

Granted but it tastes like vomit

I wish for nothing

[SleepingSilence]

You've been granted nothing as far as the eye can see. Just hope you didn't have any clothes, or worldly possessions at the time.

I wish writer's block was no longer a thing.

[Foster]

Granted, you get sent to writer's-gulag for thoughtcrime.

I kinda wish there was enough of me to get everything I set out to do done within the time I've set aside for myself.

[Majoraa]

Granted, but one day you and your clones fight to the death to see which one would be the true you.

I wish for cake.

[Foster]

Granted, but one day you and your clones fight to the death to see which one would be the true you.

I wish for cake.

@Majoras End

Worth it!

Granted, you now have an illegal shipment of yellow enriched uranium cake, and then promptly get your personal space invaded by Donald Trump's Army.

You then become golfing buddies with Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump... you play a round every sunday afternoon as at Disneyworld.

I wish someone found this entertaining.

[Salroka]

Granted, but then the person who finds it entertaining begins to stalk you. Then they kill you and wear your face back to your family's house.

I wish bacon was its own food group.

[HachiRoku]

Granted, but every country places a 'health tax' on it that raises the price to unjustifiable levels.

I wish I had the 6 Infinity Stones.

[Salroka]

Granted. But they are cheap plastic souvenirs.

I wish anime filler was better than it usually is.

[Cleverbird]

Granted, the filler episodes are great now, but the story episodes are terrible.

I wish lootboxes were removed from games.

[Salroka]

Granted, but now every game is an EA game.

I wish for [DATA EXPUNGED] and [REDACTED].