[IC] The Broken Drum - Casual drop-in chat for out-of-work adventurers

[Genni]

[OUT OF CHEESE ERROR; REDO FROM START]

Leaning forwards over Murmur Astrape screwed her hands together apologetically, "Umm... sorry about this," she muttered, her eyes darting sideways towards the bar for a moment, "Would you mind if I... umm, topped up a little before we continue with this?" Just then the tavern door was kicked open as the half-troll who'd darted outside only moments before stormed back in again. @SimplyJohn "Right... Which one of you damn sodding fools set fire to my yard!?!"

Quickly shrinking back Astrape's eyes darted over to the bard by the bar, hoping he, as the only one who'd noted her entrance, wouldn't finger her as the culprit as she slunk slowly back into the shadows.

[HHShetland]

@SimplyJohn

"Uhh... K'dav?" Tongzka waved uneasily at the enormous giant-like creature that decided to upturn his lips at him, which, given how foreign cultures worked, could mean anything. For all Tongzka knew, the giant wished to eat him alive, bones and all, and then crap his bones back out and use them to make chandeliers.

"Miz dub'la Tongzka." He introduced himself, speaking slowly and cautiously, in the hopes of making himself seem more friendly than he actually is.

"Umm, ah... Uu vurk'l Bar'l-voz?" He asked, rubbing his antennae again in slight embarassment; the embarassment was too much, in fact, for a professional worker! He had to offset this crippling ailment with a joke of some kind. "Heheh... com'du-krez'de at var'e prin-tari!"

Though he sighed in relief at having managed to build the confidence to share some classic Bardovan humour, his mood was once again swung to near heart-attack levels when he heard the distinct 'BANG' of an explosion go off on the floor nearby.

@Balthazar007

"EX'PEL-NAAD!!" He yelled to warn the other locals of danger, jumping down from his seat and tensing up. It was then he noticed the explosion in question was tiny and... rainbow-coloured? It made him internally reflect on the weirdness levels of his career thus far, being reminded of the CSS Kande-Krussh Incident like that, but it was not enough to offset his newly-found panic.

"...Yat und'o-lakza d'tal?!!" He exclaimed. That is, until he saw the big fellow from before use some more of his magic tricks to seemingly reform the floor. It was at this point that he stopped tensing up and instead started to look on with anticipation to see what this show would bring him next. Of course something else happened, a fire broke out, a very shiny creature with what resembled plump Karganos Melons strapped to their chest extinguished it by turning into a puddle of liquid, and some tiny creature like him started rambling about something in an evil fashion.

He thought he'd gotten it, and started laughing a bit. Not in an amused way, but in a 'haha, I have you all figured out!' way. "Hehehe... maz ak'i zo'prom! Glik'ma Et'e-Veh She, Nutovaz-avee!"

Of course, it was all some kind of prank designed to mess with foreigners like him, probably for a local Reality show. He was so impressed with how thorough it all seemed that he didn't even acknowledge the big guy's sudden shouting. It was good acting, though, it had to be said.

[HolyHell]

@Genni

MurMur's feral little eyes watched as Astrape, readied her potentially fatal attack. He however showed no fear, his delusions could easily manipulate the laws of reality, for while he may only be some mutt of a demon. He in his distorted perception of reality he was invincible. As she readied her attack time remained at it's normal speed. MurMur readied himself and immediately something happened, he had no idea how it happened, he must have been so powerful his mind couldn't comprehend what happened. Within this little body is true nature must be struggling to escape and transformed the once fearsome woman into an unassuming girl. Thus was the power of the Devil God himself! The Mind Pixie had revealed much more than previously anticipated.
He adopted a cocky little stance and watched as the woman sulked to the bar, then immediately his eyes fell upon the huge creature bursting into the bar. While at any given second he could easily obliterate this entire place, he would have to refrain from doing so for the moment. There were devious, nay, Devilish things that needed to be accomplished. He walked over to the table he had been sitting at before and grabbed his broom-staff shouldering the weapon of unspeakable terror and headed for the door. The Mind Pixie had determined that he must seek out a dragon egg and eat it whole, the protein alone should triple him in size. This Dragon however was no regular dragon. He would need to seek a special beast.
This was of course only the first step to his inevitable rise to power. He would also need the soul of a soulless creature, which was o course the rarest soul available.

Of course he was still drunk, any self resecting bar tended should have never given something his size pixie blood. Eventually he'd come down from the effects of the Pixie Blood, but for the moment he had a quest to do. He had purpose. He had a way.

[SimplyJohn]

@HolyHell

As the little imp scurried towards the door Geoff dropped his hand down on the creature's head, spinning Murmur's whole body round with a flick of his wrist. Gazing angrily into the unruly customer's eyes the half-troll could still see the smoke curdling inside them, a sure sign that the beast hadn't overcome the influence of the pixie blood yet. Normally he'd offer a free shot of fresh unicorn milk to help relieve the symptoms of the pixie blood poisoning, but with the mood he was in Geoff just lifted his hand away from the imp's head and gave him a shove towards the door with his boot.

In his state the imp couldn't have lit a match, let alone starting the blaze the barman had just had to deal with. Turning his attention towards the rest of the crowd Geoff let his eyes wander over them all one-by-one. The culprit had yet to come forward, and if they hadn't surrendered themselves right away it was most likely they wouldn't do so now.

With an angry snort of resignation Geoff stomped back over to the bar, slipping back to his regular spot behind the pumps and lay his stave down on the bar top with an ominous thump. For several seconds he didn't move a muscle, simply waiting for his rage to settle before finally looking up at his gathered customers. "Right, who's thirsty?" He asked in his usual friendly tone.

[Cuccoruler]

Domaku finally finished dancing after awhile with a few tables now on the ground. He honestly didn't care. "Give me something with rocks!" Domaku said with a smile to the bartender. "I hope you know how to serve a Goron brother!" Domaku added with a hearty laugh of joy.

In his past travels he had found quite a few drinks that made him smile. Many of them actually had lava in them, or they were just extremely spicy drinks. Some times Domaku would even travel to volcanoes just to find the perfect lava, he had to wrestle a few fire elementals even and came out unscathed.

[SimplyJohn]

@Cuccoruler "Give me something with rocks! I hope you know how to serve a Goron brother!"

With a smile on his face Geoff reached up to the special tankards hanging above the bar, pulling down one made of particularly thick glass. A moment later he produced a heavily warded magical bottle which he uncorked with careful hands, letting the toxic vapours clear for a moment before emptying a large porting of eye-wateringly strong acid into the waiting container.

Setting the bottle aside the barman reached into his pocket and produced two coins, one a silver shilling and the other a cheap copper coin. With a quick flick of his fingers he tossed both coins into the brew, pushing the tankard across the bar towards the waiting customer as the suitably foaming head began to crest the rim.

"One Electrick Floorbanger, extra spark," he announced proudly, holding out his hand for payment. The troll drink was notoriously hard to stomach for most races, but being half-troll himself Geoff enjoyed partaking in a snifter every now and then, when he had a week or two free to recover afterwards.

[Cuccoruler]

Domaku smiled at the bartender for the drink then gave him a small sapphire gem stone. "I hope that will do it, I don't have any actual money." Domaku said before taking a drink from his mug.

@SimplyJohn
"That is amazing!" He said before taking another drink. "That has to be one of the best electrik floorbanger I have ever had!" He said complimenting on the drink before continuing to drink. He knocked into the electric goddess by accident with his elbow. "You know they say Gorons and trolls are related you think there is any truth to that brother?" He asked the bartender while some times moving swinging his drink around in the air spilling some of it every now and then.

[Genni]

As the acrid scent of the Electrick Floorbanger wafted over to Astrape she felt her mouth watering. It was just the kind of highly charged brew she needed and she quickly made her way over to the bar, leaning on the tattered wooden plank as she smiled sweetly at the monstrous bartender.

His mood seemed to have improved quite a bit since he'd stepped back behind the bar, but just to be sure of a warm reception the lightning goddess slipped her arm up under her chest, lifting her cleavage in what she hoped was a casual manner before starting to speak. "That smells divine," She said, fluttering her eyelashes coyly, "Would you mind mixing one up for me as well?"

Astrape was fully aware that she lacked any sort of currency which would be of use on the mortal plane, but usually her winning smile and ample 'personalities', which braced on top of her arm as they were seemed on the verge of popping out of her dress, tended to make sure she never had to pay for her own drinks anyway. Leaning back against the bar she peered round at the crowd of colourful characters, wondering which of them would be the first to offer to pay for her.

[SimplyJohn]

@Cuccoruler "You know they say Gorons and trolls are related you think there is any truth to that brother?"

@Genni "That smells divine, Would you mind mixing one up for me as well?"

Geoff thought for a moment as he reached for another of the heavy glass mugs, his eyes still fixed on Domaku's faced and in no way tempted to glance over at the sparkling girl's obvious display for attention. In no way tempted. Not in the slightest. And once he'd finished staring at the gorgeously curved mounds flowing out from the top of Astrape's dress he pulled his gaze back to Domaku.

"I've given the matter some thought in the past," He said, his voice grumbling sagely, and in no way trying to sound manly and butch just for the benefit of some silly little girl. "And a few years ago I had the opportunity to compare the brains of both Gorons and trolls. It turns out that they're in no way alike at all." As he spoke Geoff spun the warded bottle of acid between his fingers in a display of outstanding skill and dexterity. Or at least that's what he'd planned to do.

Losing his grip on the bottle Geoff's gaze quickly pulled away from Astrape's chest once more, this time watching as the container clattered against the bartop, spraying acid up into his face. For several moments he simply stood there, the corrosive liquid sizzling against his tough skin as it slowly dripped down onto his shirt before finally reaching up with a dishrag and wiping the acid away. Luckily his troll-like nature protected him from any permanent harm, but the same couldn't be said for the rag, or for his shirt.

"As you can see..." He said, waving his hand down to indicate the mess the acid was making of his clothing, trying to pretend the spill had been a deliberate part of his conversation, "A Goron wouldn't have felt something like that either, but inside a trollkin's brain is made of solid silicon, while a Goron's also contains stratas of carborundum, making them much tastier when served with hot sauce. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to change my shirt."

[Cuccoruler]

Domaku just sat there for a moment with his mouth open in confusion. "All I understood in that was that our brians arn't the same." Domaku stated before putting his mug back down after his last sip. "You know I have to admit, the last time I saw another goron on my travels I never expected cannibalism." Domaku said as his grin turned into a frown recalling one of his traveling stories. "I had to fight the poor lad off, apparently he had been betrayed by his own brothers before it started. They apparently were starving and out of rocks. Now this was in some sand dunes, and all they could find was sand, and Tiny rocks just don't do it." Domaku added as he started to recall his story.

"So the guy was traveling when they got attacked by bandits, took everything they had. The bandits stole everything they had, even their emergency rations. Anyways the guys traveling companions were hungry and decided to eat the guys brother, after that they got a taste for it, started to attack each other till it was just the one guy left. When I finally came upon him I had to put the poor guy out of his misery, got a nice hammer out of it, but other wise felt bad for him and all his brothers." Domaku finnished his story before taking another swig of his drink. This story had actually happened pretty recently. "There is no greater pain than having to take out your own brothers let me tell you." He added.

[Balthazar007]

The young minstrel neared the end of his song just after the Goron had finished his dance. The tune began to slow down and he stopped singing lyrics to accompany them. His eyes then opened slowly, pulling out of his own musical trance. For a split second, as he was opening his eyes, light shined from deep within them, but by the time his eyes were fully open, the light had faded.

@Genni
Just as he regained his sound mind, the young minstrel looked over to see a plump pair of breast just a seat away from him at the bar. This sight took him off guard causing him to jump a little in his seat. It took all he had to look away, leaving him awkwardly staring in the exact opposite direction, at nothing in particular. He hoped this staring off into space read as stoic and mysterious rather than a blatant attempt to hide his surprise.

@SimplyJohn
Realizing that he couldn't just stare off forever, the young minstrel pulled out the immaculate gem that the Goron had given him earlier and placed it on the counter. "Here you go barkeep. I hope this qualifies as a tip! Peace be with you!"

He then hopped down from his bar stool and started walking to the door, playing another strange tune, inspired by some blue tinted grass that he saw one day. Just as he stopped playing music to open the door, it hit him; he hadn't found out why he recognized the young beauty at the bar. Not to ruin his classy exit, the minstrel decided to let this question stay a mystery. He walked out the door, shutting it behind him, his music fading into the night.

[SimplyJohn]

@Cuccoruler@Balthazar007

Walking back into the bar, his hands rubbing the creases out of his fresh, clean shirt, well as fresh and clean a shirt as the bachelor could rustle up from the floor of his bed chamber in a hurry, Geoff looked over the bar to see Domaku staring wistfully into his half empty mug and decided it was probably better not to disturb the Goron.

Looking past the rocky patron Geoff spotted the bard disappearing out of the door, a single shining jewel left on the counter in his stead. Quickly reaching out the barman pocketed the gemstone, his eyes darting over to where Hilda stood hovering beside a couple of gnomes playing a heated game of Gwent, her hand slowly sneaking down one of the short customers' chairs, reaching for his coinpurse. It was lucky Geoff'd seen the jewel before the light-fingered little wench, otherwise both of them would've been in the wind before moonrise.

[Genni]

Astrape quickly covered her mouth with her hand as the barman splashed the acid all over his face while desperately trying to flirt with her. She wasn't sure how the brute may react to her giggling, and after the mess she'd made in the yard the lightning goddess didn't want to give him any reason not to like her. As his shirt melted away, pieces of fizzling fabric falling to the floor, Astrape let her eyes wander down over Geoff's manly chest. Even for an old troll he was well built and Astrape began to wonder what it would take to get him to buy her a drink.

As the bard sitting beside her stepped away from the bar leaving an immaculate gem behind Astrape saw her opportunity to benefit from the little mishap. As soon as the barkeep returned, his manly chest once again covered over by a cheap looking cotton shirt complete with bloodstained collar from where he had at some point cut himself shaving, Astrape leant forwards with a seductive smile. "The young minstrel left that to pay for my drinks," She explained, her voice dripping with honey and sin, "All of my drinks, for the rest of the night."

Leaning back on her stool Astrape stretched her arms high above her head, letting her assets do the talking for a moment to ensure she had the barman's full attention before continuing. "I think I'll start with that Electrick Floorbanger, if you have any acid left."

[Cuccoruler]

Domaku finished his drink then called over the bar tender again. "Would you mind getting me something stronger too while your at it brother? The memories of putting someone down arn't so easy to drown I'm afraid." Domaku said with a sad look on his face now.

Domaku proceeded to take out a chunk of obsidian then and started to munch on it, leaving rock crumbs all over the floor. "You want some obsidian brother?" Domaku added as he offered both the bartender and the lightning girl next to him some rocks of obsidian, sharing always seemed to make him feel better, even if not everyone ate like a goron did.

[Gareth]

In a short while, Clark arrived at the The Broken Drum, with hardly any dirt on his shoes, or any time spent. He found a nearby post and tied his brown horse to it as he opened the door.

The first thing that caught his eye was a big burly creature that was eating rocks like they were brownies. He shook his head in disgust, both brownies and rocks might have a dark color but they were definitely not the same and he intended to straighten this creature out.

He walked up to the creature and tapped him on the shoulder with the index finger of his right hand.

^ @Cuccoruler

[ArenaSnow]

Thasseldar walked out of the woods, having just come from a rather warm encounter with a friend of his on a world mostly covered in lava.

He walked up to the Tavern, in his human form, and looked it over. Nice enough place... I think I'll stay for a little while. He entered and went right to the to the bar, taking a glance at the rest of the room. An odd assortment indeed.

He spotted a large I think, half troll? being what appeared to be bartender. He hailed him over.

(@SimplyJohn)

"No particular preference... anything with a... unique taste to it?" Thasseldar always looked for something new.

[SimplyJohn]

@Genni "The young minstrel left that to pay for my drinks. All of my drinks, for the rest of the night. I think I'll start with that Electrick Floorbanger, if you have any acid left."

The lighting sprite's story seemed a little thin but with a shrug Geoff accepted it, after all the drinks had been paid for and if they didn't get drunk by someone then they'd just go stale so what did it matter if the brewery lost out on a little stock because of it.

Shaking his head, causing a few drops of acid which had still been clinging to his horns to fly off and sizzle their way into the countertop, Geoff looked over at the sparkling maiden sadly. "I'm afraid we're all out of the acetic acid, but if you don't mind kicking things up a notch I think I still have some ammonium chloride out the back somewhere."

@Cuccoruler "Would you mind getting me something stronger too while your at it brother? The memories of putting someone down arn't so easy to drown I'm afraid. You want some obsidian brother?"

Turning his attention back to the Goron, before staring Astrape's heaving bosom took up too much of his time, Geoff gave the old soak a quick prod. "How about you, 'brother'?" He asked with a mocking tone, "Think you can handle some more spark juice?"

Not waiting for an answer Geoff reached across and snapped off a chunk of obsidian, sucking it into his mouth and licking his fingers clean. "'Tis good dragonglass you have there..." he commented, chewing heavily on the volcanic glass. He was just about to enquire where the traveller had obtained such high-quality obsidian, since he knew all the local traders had been out of stock for months, but just then a strange looking fellow with a large sword strapped across his back came up behind Domaku and tapped the Goron on the shoulder.

@ArenaSnow "No particular preference... anything with a... unique taste to it?"

Not wanting to interfere with personal business Geoff quickly stepped off further down the bar and faced off against an entirely average looking human whose shape seemed to glimmer on the old mage's eyes, a sure sign that he was disguising his true form in some way. Seeing no need to pry into the concerns of his guests, beyond worrying about the contents of their purses, Geoff nodded his head in Astrape's direction. "I'm just about to whip the nice lady up some ammonium chloride with a twist of lemon. I can guarantee you've never tasted anything like it... _{'cos if you had you wouldn't have a tongue left to ask with...}" He finished off under his breath.

[Cuccoruler]

Domaku smiled at the bartender happy to be complimented. "I will gladly take something stronger brother! And I'm glad you like the rock!" Domaku said as a smile came back to his face, rocks often took his mind off of his troubles, the same as booze. Domaku patiently waited for his drink then while munching on more of his obsidian.

It was at this point that he noticed someone had tapped on his shoulder. He stood up off his chair to look at this man. Domaku was a great deal taller than this man who had just tapped on his shoulder, as well as a great deal bigger. "Can I help you brother?" He asked with a smile on his face as he continued to munch on his obsidian. It was natural that Gorons ate rocks, it was their main diet after all.

[ArenaSnow]

*content retconned*

[SimplyJohn]

"Three Battery Blitzers coming right up," Geoff announced, nodding his head with a grunt before turning away from the bar and stepping into the back room. Hoisting a large bucket lined with wax and overflowing with a pungently scented liquid which made both his eyes and mouth mater the half-troll staggered back into the main room and dropped his cargo on the counter heavily. All down the length of the bar mugs, goblets and tankards wobbled and shook from the impact, several falling off onto the floor as their owners stood gawping.

Reaching up into the next of tankards Geoff quickly selected three of the cleanest, or least dirty depending on your point-of-view. Giving each a smear with the half of his dishrag which had survived exposure to the concentrated acid which had finally managed to dribble its way down into the barman's boot, sizzling his toes, Geoff dipped the mugs one by one into the bucket, carefully making sure not a drop of the precious chemical was spilt.

Placing each of the drinks in front of the three customers Geoff pulled six swizzle sticks out of thin air, three made of zinc and three manganese, before dropping them into the containers. It took a moment for the reaction to start, bubbles forming on the swizzlers for a moment the only sign that anything was happening at all, but then the first sparks arrived. Slowly at first the arcs of electricity leapt from one stick to another, making their way up the swizzle sticks before snapping apart at the tips. Soon the flow of electricity was constant, with arcs forming and rising in quick succession.

"There you go lady and gentlemen, three Battery Blitzers, as order." Geoff said proudly as he pushed the tankards over the counter towards their new owners.