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7 yrs ago
dissertation done. can actually post again. yay.
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because this wont fit in questions on discord:










“My god what is a pie? Please, you have to tell me!” was the first thing Jeon heard once he’d finished his little chat with Lektor the bolder kitty. Specifically out of the one that had been unable to answer the goddess' riddle and been charged with creating a Pie as an alternative to becoming kibble.

“I think she was joking, Pebble. Right Jeon?” Fern tried to calm her friend, before repeating “Right?” more assertively to Jeon, which the god found quite funny. Making demands of him, a god! He quite liked the attitude, but he was going to have to disappoint her.

“Oh not at all. You, my dear Pebble, should be honored! You are quite possibly the first person to be charged with a divine quest!” Jeon replied

“She wants me to make a thing I don’t know what it is or else she’s gonna eat me! How is that a blessing!?” Pebble bemoaned her fate, having slumped into Stag’s arms as the elf tried to comfort her “Is she though? I mean there was no ’or else’ in there so maybe it’ll be fine to not do it”

“I. Well. Look you don’t want to upset gods you know. We can do anything, and some of us are probably big jerks!” Jeon explained, not really relaying the threat of getting on the wrong side of an actual malicious god that well “That said, think not of the potential consequences, but of the potential boons and rewards that would come with completing the quest!”

“What would that be? She didn't exactly say anything about rewards either” Fern pointed out

“Well you’ll be able to make more pies, and pies are great!” Jeon said “plus, um, nebulous favor? I’m sure she’ll be impressed if you manage to figure it out!”

The elves did not seem convinced, looking between each other before one of the ones who hadn’t spoken yet asked “Can’t you just teach us? Like you did with food and sticks and stuff?”

“What. No no no no! That would just go against the whole point of a quest. You can't get other people to do them for you jeez” Jeon sounded appalled at this suggestion, before remembering his audience and saying “Because you wouldn’t be following the spirit of the quest. The hardships and self improvement is like most of the points, especially with gods. We can make anything, so what we want to see is impressive effort! It's not like she’s asking you how to make pies because she can’t make them herself. She wants you to learn, and then to spread that wisdom to all!”

“But we don’t even know where to start!” Pebble replied, getting them back to the original problem.

“Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm” Jeon held his chin and tapped his foot vigorously as he thought for a few moments. Then he looked to have an idea, but rather than speak one he instead said “give me a few days and I’ll see what I can do”

The elves looked dubious at that, but it looked like that was all they were going to get when Jeon clapped his hands together and then said “Now then, how about we blow this joint and you all can go back home and awe your friends with tales of your underground adventure!” which they were all very much on board with and soon enough the elves were climbing back up towards the light.




Once he’d gone his separate way from the underground explorers Jeon set about orchestrating a way for his elves to learn how to make pie without him just handing over the information. That would be dreadfully dull and they did need to learn how to, well, learn as well. So to that end the first thing he did was make a book and detailed on it everything you needed to make an apple pie from scratch, but with a forestry touch to it (Acorn flour (no grains in the woods), penguin eggs, milk (and butter) from a redwood-deer and, of course, apples) along with whole host of other baking recipes, all with plenty of diagrams that would explain things to even the illiterate elves could get some use out of.

Now, it was all well and good to list some ingredients, but there were two big missing components here, namely how to actually cook things, and how to milk a (pant) animal in the first place. There were some hints in there of course, but he hoped that having to work those out parts would be a quite helpful learning experience for the elves.

Now that it was made, there was no way he was just handing this over either. He’d said as much that if he just told them it would defeat the purpose of the quest. So how then to hand over the information in a way that didn’t just involve, well, handing it over?

Well for Jeon this was quite obvious:

Make getting the book its own quest!

And what better way to start off his adventure making that the classic: a dungeon!

But not some same old same old set of tunnels in the ground, Kitty had those covered and he was sure that if he wanted to make the best of the best those he’d want to collaborate with her anyway. So no, instead he’d make something nice and forestry instead.

With that in mind he found himself a nice big tree, laid a hand against it, and then made it grow. And grow. And grow. Till it towered three times above its lesser kin and its lower branches where a canopy of their own blocked out the sun. Inside these branches he wove dwellings made from living branches and leaves fusing together in such a way that the tree became home to a small community’s worth of dwellings and homes that were all made out of the tree itself.

“There, maybe that can be a hint too” Jeon said to himself, before saying “and now, what to use for the danger? hmmm” before looking around at the trees now smothered by the titan’s sun stealing size and thinking “well, how about we repurpose these!”

He snapped a finger and accelerated time for the trees, causing them to crumple and decay around him as he recycled the energy of doomed trees into something else: a heart, one that was rotten and fossilized yet still beating in the god’s palm.

It throbbed, pulsed, and then the rotten wood around it started to shift and splinter until grotesque limbs started to form, and then rotten decayed humanoid shapes used those limbs to haul themselves out of the graves of the trees Jeon had condemned, each and every one possessed by the pretty ticked off souls of the dead trees.

Their claws were long and gnarled, their eyes glowed red, and they wanted only one thing: destruction. Unfortunately for them, their desire was superseded by that of the rotten heart and what it wanted? Why that was to put up a jolly good fight against anyone invading its dungeon!

“So, you know the drill, yeah?” Jeon asked as one of the lumbering dead approached, took the heart, and shoved it into its chest.

The tree corpse's face, initially just a gnarled mask, split in twain to form a toothy maw that worked itself, creating horrific sounds as it tried to find words for the first time “grnfoemfn nefmrm nrry heeh. Nyee eh. Nye he.” it tired and then found its rhythm laughing “Nyeh heh he!” and then saying in a nasally and somewhat high pitched yet still male voice “Sure I do boss! Get me ghoulies up in the treehouses, put em in some nice ambush spots, and then show the boys and girls you're inviting over a good time!

“Ha ha yes now that's what I’m talking about” Jeon replied, excitedly giving the zombie some finger guns before pausing and asking “ah but one thing, you need a name. Now what’s it gonna be?”

“Hmmmmm” the heart in the tree thing pondered as its host body continued to refine itself to its whims, face becoming more skull like, limbs like bony wood coated in solidifying bark armor and then a hooded cape of brown leaves forming over its back and a garbled branch appearing in its arm as it declared “you shall call me… Jim!”

“.. Jim?” Jeon asked, finding it oddly close to his own.

“Jim the stunningly sinful sorcerer supreme!” he extended it, bowing as he did in such a way that his leafy cloak fluttered in the wind behind him before standing up and holding out a hand and demanding “now, hand over the treasure I’m gonna be guarding nyeh heh he”

Still a bit bemused by the name the goat god handed over the cookbook which caused bemusement in Jim, who after saying “What is this? Some arcane tome of unfathomable perhaps?” flipped through it and was forced to conclude that “this is a recipe book for pies? You wish for me, the mighty Jim!, to guard pastry making instructions?”

“Well the elves have basically learned about eating, drinking and hitting things with sticks at the moment,” Jeon defended himself “so the secrets of the universe are a bit beyond them at the moment. Besides, it's for a quest! From a god! Who isn’t me! Which makes it a big deal all on its own, yeah?”

“A quest?” Jim said, before figuring something out, which was: “Wait. So are you expecting me to lose and for them to claim my treasure?”

“Well yeah, you're a bad guy guarding an precious item in a dungeon, and dungeons exist to be beaten, so you know, your loss is kinda the point” Jeon replied, before adding “but don’t go easy on em or anything, i want this to be a proper adventure and test of their mettle. Or wood I guess, ha!”

“But, then when they win, won’t they kill me?” Jim asked, suddenly fearful for the first time “you know for getting in the way and trying to kill them and stuff”

“Whaaaat? No no no no. or I mean they’ll try, but your heart’s super tough, so much so that they straight up can't hurt it with the sticks and stuff they’ve got. Just play dead and you’ll be fine. Or make a dramatic escape, those are fun too. Be all like “I’ll get you next time you meddling elves nyeh heh he!” or something and then throw yourself from the canopy. You’ll live and they wont be able to follow”

“Oh? ... Ok great!” Jim perked up at finding out he was invincible, before frowning again and scratching his wooden skull “Wait. So. What happens after I 'die' or run off?”

“Eh, we’ll figure it out” Jeon replied with a shrug and then adding “Don’t think too much about the future, just live in the moment and ham it up buddy, and I know you’ll do great” and patting his creation on the shoulder reassuringly.

“Ah. hmm. Well then, there's only one thing left to say then isn’t there?” Jim said, before pointing dramatically upwards towards his new treetop dungeon home and commanding “Climb my minions climb! Let’s go prepare to roll out a warm welcome to those no good adventurers, nyeh heh he he he he he heh!”





wordcount: 928 (+2) ( -5 from a heart I forgot about)
Midna: level 8 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(78/80)
Location: Sandswept Sky - Kara Kara Oasis -
Nyakuza Metro
Warp Charges: 0


A little bit after they had appeared in a shower of pixels in the Virgin Victory’s teleport room Midna and her recovered team of bros headed for the train station, with Midna carefully and unnecessarily avoiding getting too close to the Gerudo guards to avoid the whole Urbosa spirit situation.

After that little bit of unneeded tension was out of the way, the princess rode down into the underground, her arrival causing quite a bit of a stir among the feline passengers class who cleared a wide berth around the bottom of the stairs. This meant she and her posse had little issue getting to the map of the underground. Unfortunately, they had one slight problem, which was that they had no idea where they were going.

”Wait. Shoot. I don’t have any idea which one of these is the one we need to take” she was forced to admit as such to the others. Fortunately, their obvious arrival had made them quite hard to miss for the person who had been waiting for them.

“Never fear, Bruam is here!” the self identifying muscular man called over “and he knows where to go”

”Oh, phew, good to see you” Midna said as he approached, quite relieved before going ”Eek!” when she was suddenly picked up into a bear hug by the big guy who said “and it is good to see you again safe and sound my friend. You had Braum a little worried you know ha ha!” while patting her jovial on the back and then plopping her back down on her steed.

”Ah, mmm, well, you didn’t need to be” Minda replied, pointed ears a touch flushed from the intimacy before she cleared her throat and insisted that ”I handled everything just fine”

“Yes yes, and I see you found some of our other friends while you are it” Braum said, giving a wave to the lads who were mostly trying to not have a laugh at the princess’ expense, before asking “and our trapped friend…?” to which Midna shook her head sorrowfully, a hand briefly grasping the frozen olive strung around her neck.

”I’ll tell you about it on the train” she said, before asking the important question ”So where are we headed off too? I assume you stuck around to catch me up while the others headed off to wherever was closest to home base already?”

“That’s right. Primrose has already gone off to this place called Twilight Town which is just a hop round the coast from home.” Bruam informed her, before clarifying that “The other two decided to go their own way” before she even had to ask.

”Oh…” Midna replied, briefly feeling annoyed about them doing that after all the effort they’d put in, before mentaly scolding herself for that selfishness and picking up on the interesting name of the palace ”Wait, did you say twilight town?”

“That’s right! Oh, is that the twilight you are a princess off?” Braum asked

”I… No it cant be… but maybe?” her people should not be able to live in the world of light, but maybe Galeem had let them and plopped a town from her home into its realm regardless. She wasn’t sure if she should be excited that she might be about to see a bit of home or fearful that a town was all that was left of it. Regardless ”Well, only one way to find out. So, do we need to pay to get on or..?”

“We do. We need these pon things that were lying about the station, though it looks like people have cleared them all out for the most part, at least the easy to reach ones. Braum didn't have much luck looking where he could still look for you” Braum explained, which caused Minda to take a proper look around the station, spotting at least one high high up in the rafters eventually, but mostly noticing how the cats had given her wide berth and where glaring at her.

”Huh, what is their problem?” she asked, glaring back at one only to find it not matching her eyes but instead… She looked down at her mount who was entirely unaware of the mean looks coming its way, and was instead just happy to be here as always.

”Oh. Cat’s and dogs huh” Midna said, finding this kind of funny at first, at least until she noticed a rather more towering and more authoritative feline striding through the rest at which point she decided maybe she should just put the wolfos away so as to not cause any trouble. Sure, she could take them if things came down to it, but it would make using the train a bit trickier to become a foe of the local enforcers.

So instead of getting into some kind of argument or tussle over their little problem she banished her steed, dropped the floor, made a little show of the fact it was gone, before replacing it with her Vibrava instead as her escort. The big guard/thug cat scowled at her, before making an ‘im watching you’ gesture with two of its fingers and halting its advance.

”Right. Now that that’s all cleared up let’s get this place cleaned up” she said, having her vibrava latch into position on her back before buzzing up into the air and proceeding to make a mockery of all the platforming and obstacle avoidance challenges via flight and shadow hopping.

The amount of scrounging she had to do to find every last pon they needed did make her a little concerned about just how useful this would be, because what would happen if they spent all the currency the stations had? Still, that was a problem for another time, for now, she got what the five of them needed and then together they set off to catch up with the others.

Hopefully there wouldn't be any kind of big climactic event going on in twilight town that they’d arrive late too.

The Koopa Troop

wordcount: 2,025 (+3)
Bowser: Level 10 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (261/100)
Bowser Jr: Level 9 EXP: ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (228/90)
Kamek: Level 10 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(155/100)
Rika: Level 5 EXP: ////////////////////////////////////////////////// (22/50)
Location: Smash City Alcamoth


And off the gang went on another adventure, the little pile of boats setting off into the Eryth Sea, headed for Twilight town. Along with them went the boatless troop: the koopa king riding atop his cetacean steed while Jr and Kamek floated above him and Dazzle and Rita moved alongside him (just under and just above the water respectively). It would have been a lovely start to an lovely ocean cruise if it went for the weather.

Rain lashed down which left all the koopas grumbling in one way or another, while Rika got the bright idea of hiking her cape up abv her head to act as a very impromptu raincoat. That was the start of the bad times, the weather only got worse with mini tornadoes wooshing about across the waves, one of which sucked Jr in and sent him dizzily spinning through the sky. Add to that the big water spouts and there were plenty of opportunities to be tossed about.

Rika was deft enough to avoid trouble fortunately, and she even had the nerve to go platforming about on some spouts to collect a few coins while she was at it, which she added to her cash reserves. Bowser meanwhile started to just plow through stuff once he got sick of the whale swaying about beneath him, the water spouts failing to lift the beast anyway, while at least one lily-pad got itself burned/rammed/clawed through when it got in his way.

Generally there wasn’t much that threatened the troop, who with their flight, skating or big whale mount were more or less in their element. The same could not be said of the little rowboat riders who ran into all sorts of trouble. Sakura managed to dunk herself in the drink and that was the least of it.

The most of it was just barely avoided when a Serpond breached the waves right next to Nadia and scared the bejesus out of her. The fact that it didn't swoop around and come in for another pass right away indicated that it had mostly been an accident that it had disturbed the catgirl at all. Unfortunately a certain turtle did not have the brain cells to work this out and so things swiftly got messy when he assumed the worst of the situation.

”HEY YOU, PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE YOU OVERSIZED SARDINE!” came a cry from Bowser, who then went surging forwards atop his white whale and aimed his cannons at the aerial tuna, unleashing a barrage of shells at it. The four shots pummeled into the Serpond, which let out a glub of a groan before the red in its eyes flared with more of Galeem’s light and it arched around to take on its attacker.

”YEAH THAT’S IT COME AND GET ME. I’LL KNOCK THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU REAL GOOD” the king yelled, punching his palm challengingly.

”Sire, I don’t think it was actually-” Kamek tried to point out the misunderstanding, but it was, as Jr pointed out ”too late!” as the mighty minnow came charging through the air right at them.

”I got your back!” Rika called out, being right on Bowser’s wavelength and having only not started this off herself because she’d been a bit further off coin collecting. She made up for that now by cocking all 4 sets of guns and unloading them with a single figurative pull of the trigger, a spray of fire shotgunning the fish as it came swooping in at them.

The damage spong of a creature took this head on however, just as it took on the white whale’s own barrage of shots that it sent out just after its master’s. All this did slow the mighty sea/sky creature, though did leave it bloody. Remarkably it was the smallest among them who made the difference as Jr shouted ”Dazzle! Use Penguin Jet!” which caused the Poppilo to burst out of the sea and into the air, chest feathers glowing with malignant energy while it was carried by a jetstream of water.

The little sea-lion was absolutely dwarfed by the fish, and swallowing him whole would have been a breeze for it, so it was a good thing the mon had raced ahead and was coming up at a nice angle that let it smash into the side of the fish instead, the heavy impact of the blow knocking it off course and causing it to splash down into the water next too Bowser rather than ramming right into him and his whale.

”Nice one Dazzle” Jr cheered, but Kemk had only once concern which was ”But where is it now?”

Indeed, just as it had been undetected till it surprised Nadia, the big fish had become near invisible after diving into the depths of the surprisingly deep sea.

”I got this. Melock Marines, find that fish!” he shouted, summoning a gaggle of the eponymous strikers around his elevated aerial position. The poor things then went splashing down into the waves like it had suddenly started raining fish.

Once they had recovered from their fall they dived down to take on their commander’s foe. Then after a few moments had passed Jr started going ”Ow! Ow ow ow!” and a moment after that a much smaller number of merlock surfaced. Sending smaller fish vs a bigger fish did not go well it seemed.

However, when Rika demanded to know ”Where! Where is it?” from the closest one they did provide some use when it ducked its head under the water and then pointed a finger down in a specific direction, its big bulging seeing what the surfaceworlders could not.

That was all Rita needed. She primed her gauntlets, and then unleashed her torpedoes, getting a use out of them for their intended purpose for the first (what might well turned out to be the only) time.

Perfectly calibrated, the propeller propelled tubes vanished into the dark, and then a flurry of flashes reached the surface as the grenade sized blasts rocked the Serpond that had been just about to splash out of it in order to snap Kamek out of the air. Instead the mage swooped away with the time and warning the blasts gave her, and then prepared some retaliation while she was at it.

When it surfaced again the fish went soaring up, up, up, higher and higher into the sky, only to find itself being hounded by a set of shadow clones of Jr summoned by Kamek, who assailed it with boxing gloves, saws, hammers and drills. The Serpond ignored them all despite the wounds it was receiving till it reached the top of its arch and then flipped around, batting some out of them way with its tail and gobbling up especially unfortunate one up in its twin fanged maw.

Pests dealt with, it started plumating right down at them, the troop scattering while having difficulty shooting straight up at it. It selected the biggest and least nimble target for its dive, angling just a little as it swooped towards Bowser.

Despite knowing that if it even managed to knock him off of his steed he was done for due to his inability to swim, the king stood firm atop its back.

”OH, YOU’RE COMING AT ME HUH? WELL THERE’S ONE THING YOU’VE FORGOTTEN” he shouted before pointing dramatically up at it and concluding the taunt with the observation that: ”THERE’S ALWAYS A BIGGER FISH!”

Just then the titan that was Scylla burst from the waves, the striker taking all of Bowser’s stamina from him and in return to delivering a devastating counter charge to the shocked Serpond. It smashed into the smaller fish and then gappled it with its barbed tendrils before finally taking a massive bite out of its neck with its multiple rows of teeth, ripping apart the spine and sending a gush of blood that quickly turned to ash as the rules of nature took another victim.

Scylla faded and its own spirit returned to the exhausted Bowser while the Serpond’s slowly drifted down, only for Jr to swoop down and snatch it out of the air. Kamek meanwhile floated down to her king’s side, concerned about how he was slumped down on the white whale’s back.

”I’m fine I’m fine, that one just really winded me” he told her, waving her off while joking that ”good thing I’m riding rather than walking yeah?”

”Mmm well yes, but i do worry about you sliding off now” she replied, which was how Bowser ended up having the toadies gripping him anyway, the floating mooks that Rubick had made copies of (a thing Kamek found quite validating in a way) acting as a seatbelt for the tired king.

Fortunately, there weren't any other big threats than the one the troop had created on the way down the river, and soon enough they found themselves in the ship graveyard. Bowser inched his way through the wreck on the back of his whale, and Rika went with him in order to help clear the way, using her hull blades as fire axes when she wasn't just blasting stuff.

Kamek and Jr meanwhile went rooting around the ships a bit, looking for anything that might be of use.

The ship they ended up choosing that had anything of worth in it was a decrepit paddle boat pirate vessel that looked to have been used for target practice multiple times judging by the holes blown in it. Despite this punishment it was still alive, though fortunately the AI mainframe buried somewhere in the autonomous ship’s hold was not programmed to feel the pain of its grievous injuries. Equally fortunately, no one decided to inflict any more damage on it that might have trigger it to try and use its oversized front gun to defend itself.

Instead they ranged around the hold for booty before reuniting with their fellows at the end of the graveyard. Kamek herself returned with several crates full of bananas and meat benign carried by a set of shadow clones, which her king was uncharacteristically grateful for and the contents of which he immediately started scoffing down to restore his stamina.

Jr meanwhile came back with a rusty self reloading 64 Pdr Cannon dangling from the end of his clown car’s (sentient) hook.

Any attempt to dissuade him about the practicality failed, and soon enough the white whale had the old timey ship weapon tied nice and tightly to it using some of the plentifully available rope found around the boaty ruins. The tightness of said knots was then swiftly put to the test as the next leg of their journey (after giving banjo a passing wave) was a set of rapids.

It was probably for the best that the troop went first, because if they had not then there would have been a risk of Bowser’s white knuckle white whale ride plowing through the smaller rowboats at the speed the whale ended up going. The king only avoided becoming a stain on some rocks thanks to Kamek and Rita scouting ahead and making sure the whale was warned of any upcoming dangerous rocks or sharp turns.

Instead of helping with this Jr proceed to instead cheat at what appeared to be some kind of target practice minigame that had been set up, big hanging pots meeting an end at the end of a boxing glove robo arms, but got bored of that about a third of the way through, leaving the rest of the target's up for the boat riders to try their luck at if they had the guts to multitask during their dangerous ride.

Instead he raced with Dazzle down the rest of the way, prince blazing his way down just the waves while the sea-lion had a lovely time splashing down the treacherous waters, periodically showing off by leaping over the top of his trainer’s low flying car while the boy giggle in delight at his minion’s antics.

Then all too soon they were at the end of the ‘ride’ and the next leg of their journey could begin.
Under the Darkwoods


Beneath a glinting glowing globe of their god the 5 elf band advanced with an assortment of wariness and excitement. The daring Fern led the pack stalking through the tunnel deep below the earth with a tooth sharpened pointed stick held in hand, bare feet sloshing through the shallow river flowing down with them. Behind her, where a man wrapped in furs that covered all but his eyes and ears carrying a slab of bark as a shield, a woman with a bag full of stones, a second woman holding a set of long fangs like knives and then at the back, Stag, bringing up the rear.

Or at least that was where he would like to be, but unfortunately for the nervous elf the person who was actually bringing up the rear was the jauntily sauntering Jeon who was holding up the light for them.

“M-my prince, I don’t mean to instruct you but, well, should you not be in the front what with you being so strong and skilled and all” Stag finally plucked up the courage to ask

“What, and claim all the glory and fun for myself? No no no what kind of god would I be to do that!” Jeon replied “besides, back here I can keep an eye on all of you aaaaand what’s ahead at the same time, so its the best place to be while supervising your first adventure. I mean sure, if something comes running down the tunnel I would be the first target, but what if something comes up from behind? Or comes burrowing out of the wall? Oh oh what if one of those stalactites is actually a creature in disguise and it drops on you hmmm?”

“Y-you almost sound like you want that to happen” Stag observed

“What? No! Nononononono. Of course not” Jeon assured the antlered elf before immediately proving himself a liar by saying “well I mean at least it would be interesting. I mean the cave was neat at first but it's just so tunnely. Where’s the glowing mushrooms and giant spiders and living crystals mon-”

Jeon was interrupted from his tirade by a gasp from the front of the group coming from Fern, which prompted the god to rush forward saying “make way I wanna see!” as he blasted past the centerlay leves and arrived at Fern’s side in the blink of an eye where he skidded to a halt and then whistled at the sight.

Before them the tunnel suddenly opened up massively to reveal a massive cavern with a relatively low ceiling and a floor that was completely submerged in water, forming a massive underground lake over which light now flickered for the first time from Jeon’s magelight.

There came a swake from their left as confused penguin grew alarmed at the appearance of these predators and swiftly dove into the water, disturbing a few water insects as it splashed into the pool in now called home.

“Huh. Wonder how that got down here” Jeon asked himself as he peered into the darkness, to which Fern pointed towards a crack in the ceiling from which a small river water was trailing and said “maybe it fell down?”

“Maybe” he agreed, as he observed several other underground rivers flowing in here, and the various aquatic-insects and water-birds he had made to fill the forest’s rivers that must have been dragged down here by shifts in the landscape caused by the underground’s creation.

Water and detritus pooled here, and then at the far end of the cavern it flowed on off to who knew where, bringing life and nutrainse from the topside along with it. Where food flowed in darkness, the Umbra weren't far behind it seemed, as the god spotted a few off in the distance, beyond his mortal’s ken, drifting above the water, hunting for fowl and bug. He wondered how far they’d gotten out from beyond this cavern at this point.

Before any sort of reaction could be had from the group, a massive stone pillar formed around them, the dust, previously spread out and chaotic, now encircled them while also leaving their image clear towards the creature atop the pillar. On a similar note, there was clearly a creature on the top of the pillar.

”Ohhh, so it is you who brought those shadows into my realm? Hmmm~ They have not been the most pleasant, I must confess.” the sphinx sighed. ”Punishment may be necessary. I have eaten many things, but an elf I have not. Perhaps I could amend that, with a simple challenge, a game of charades? Or maybe, a decimation, have you pick the one who shall be sacrificed!” the goddess said, trying to hide a smirk while looking down at the panicked mortals, her bluffs making the situation no better for them.

“Ah ha ha! Now we’re talking!” Jeon cheered as the mortals panic, taking a moment to Fern from chucking her spear at the goddess before stepping forth, before raising his free hand next to his mouth and calling up “How about riddles? Those are a classic!”

“My god, you can’t be serious!?” Fern cried out, trying to get her spear throwing arm free from the god’s grip.

The sphinx looked down with distant eyes, while some might think she was smug towards them, in truth… she had not expected the mortals not to flee, she had not made a good riddle actually, and was somewhat struggling to come up with a good one.

”Uh… what comes with plates and a crust, but is not a pie?” she asked, sweating in shame, to the random elf with the stones.

“I… I… I…” the elf stammered eyes darting to and fro desperately before suddenly breaking down and wailing “I don’t know what any of those things are!” before bursting into tears

Now the goddess was just feeling sorry for the poor thing. ”Well I uh… Would you look at that, I am on a protein diet! Elf meat would be terrible for me, so I guess… you get a pass. But do learn about pies! Yes. That will be my mission to you, in exchange for sparing your life.” she stumbled her point across. ”Now, I see there is a fellow divine being with you. May I have a moment alone with him? To uh, further clear up this situation and his trespassing into my realm.”

Jean let go of Fern’s arm, the elf now too confused (and a mite suspicious) to carry out on her daring attack, and sauntered over while the elves either looked on in awe or went to comfort the poor riddle receiver who was now burdened with divine purpose.

“I am Jean Du Termas, adventurer extraordinaire” the god introduced himself while giving a theatrical bow before standing up, pointing towards a little outcropping sitting in out in the water, connected to the shelf they where stood on via a set of stepping stones, and saying “how about we talk over there? It looks nice and scenic”

”Lektoria Koreh Tellur. First Secretary of the Core, Oversee of the earth.” The sphinx also moved after her introduction, hovering over a nearby area, waiting until the elves were away from the scene, beyond their voice. ”Ok… That was terrible. Argh. I should have planned better… it was just so annoying, to watch y’all losing your smile as you went in deeper into MY REALM. Like, at first that elf girl was so excited, now she is straight up bored. BORED. So I wanted to do a little thing, make it more exciting… might have overshot. Uh.” she adjusted her hair, ears twitching free from strands. ”You have been with them a bit longer, can you explain to me what happened to the mood?”

Jeon followed after her, skipping from stone to stone on nimble cat paws, and once they were clear and Lektoria had explained her deal he had to have a light pearly laugh at her expense. “So that’s what it was. I mean yeah, you did go a bit overboard but still, 10/10 for effort” he reassured her, and then had the decency to look a little embarrassed. He too had been insulting her realm only a few moments before after all.

“Ah, well, it's just tunnels are a bit samey, you know. Just by their nature. There's only so many meters of dimly lit stone walls you can walk through before you grow acclimated to it” Jeon explained “but hey, it also made suddenly coming up on the lake a whole lot more impactful! Not that it ain’t mighty fine on its own! Though I guess getting down here and then finding it just has stuff from the surface was a little disappointing maybe?”

The god himself had found it quite fascinating, but then again he could see far more than just the little pool of light the elves were restricted to, and also understand how it all fit together forming an intricate and entirely organic ecology neither of them had intended to exist.

”That… is a very valid point. I did not expect others to come prodding in so soon, if I am to speak in honesty. Life will naturally diverge here in a few eons, give or take, but perhaps a more direct approach will be beneficial.” she turned around while deep in thought. ”On the other side, would mortals truly be interested in seeking a place full of exoctic, and possibly dangerous, life? If I made hermit crabs that use stalactites for shells, how would the novelty factor outperform the worry of being clawed in half by their rock claws? Questions, questions.”

“Kinda wish I didn’t forget how I made my woods so I could give you advice based on my experience of creating things, but as someone who just lives for adventure and excitement, its all about incentives balanced with danger” Jeon replied “So, say, you fill a tar pit with alligators, well, no one wants to go there because its all danger and no reward. But if you make a cave full of jems right out in the open well that’s no fun at all, and it’s gonna be cleared out in a week anyway.”

“If we come back to your rock crabs, well, make em too repressive and the caves to droll and it doesn't matter if they are neat, which they are by the way, if they make it so people just avoid going to the cave” the god had produced a piece of paper and was doodling crabs and terrified mortal stick figures in a long corridor as he talked about this, before adding a big diamond at the end “but make a thing they want at the end and suddenly the crabs are adding to the experience. Adrenaline, excitement and experience from the encounters themselves, and prestige added to the reward at the end because they can say ‘I battled past the deadly rock crabs to get this thing!’ and everyone will be impressed”

He tapped the gem while talking about it, and then thought for a moment and added “I mean it being an actual big jewel does kinda limit it to a one time adventure. Maybe make their eggs really tasty or their rock flesh stuff repurposable so people have a reason to keep dealing with em. That last is what I did with my first-kin, I think” he gestured over to the elves (who were watching the pair with a mix of curiosity and concern) and at their varios garbs and implements made from the plant-animals roaming the woods above.

“So it seems and yet…” she tilted her head, a somewhat feline smirk appearing where once was a more hawk-llike keen expression. “That would be positive feedback, then, of course, there is negative feedback. In other words, not bake the first pie and gain a gemstone, but bake the first pie or I shall make you into the first pie.” she giggled, imagining how the elf would rect to that hypothetical.

“I think I understand your spirit, and if I am to be honest, I appreciate it, but there is an element of… wishful thinking. The more grounded laws of the world may interrupt an adventure. For example, say those stone crab shells become very sought after by the kingdoms that will one day occupy the surface, and it becomes a habit to just send hordes of peasants down the tunnels to fight the crabs by sheer numbers. That does not feel much like an adventure, more like a two sided massacre.” she closed one eye and held her chin. “And would that not be a shame?”

“Urgh, yeah, totally ruin the whole point of the deal” the god stuck his tongue out in disgust at the idea, having half memories of dealing with that exact sort of operation. “But then it also doesn't work because.. Because.. Gah I’ve seen that exact kinda deal before I was a god how did it go…”

Jeon’s face twisted up as he tried to remember why before snapping his fingers as he recalled how it went “oh oh, yeah ok I remember now. The poor chaff fighters were so miserable that they hailed me as a hero when I came in and wiped the floor with all the gem crawlers. Pretty sure we overthrew the jerk who orchestrated the whole thing too in the end? Yeah, that was a riot for sure!”

”In full honesty, I have very little idea of what you meant just now. But I believe I can understand some of it.” or rather, she had her own idea to peddle to the adventure god. ”We are gods and our words are taboo. What we say to mortals, they will take to heart and soul. So what if we just force our desires here? Soldiers are soldiers, and they are not adventurers. Sure you could send your army to deal with a great beast, and by a certain logic they would have a better chance than three colorful hobos just off the local tavern. But you cannot do that, because that is not the way it is done.” she smirked again. ”Can you somewhat understand what I am trying to do here? I am afraid charisma is not my forte.”

“Oh for sure that is how it's done. An army versus a massive monster, that’s just a tragedy. No glory, just corpses. What you want is heroes! Preferably a small band of, mmm, about 5 people” Jeon said, having clearly influenced the composition of the exploration team given their number being just the same thing “going out there and getting stuff done! That's the kind of stuff you can tell stories about, and for that, you need a way that people can get stronger. Exponentially stronger. So that the more challenges they face, the more the can take on in future.”

“What we need-”

The god turned his page to face him and quickly scribbled over it, before turning it back and unveiling a simple diagram of a wimpy stick figure elf pointing a spear at a wolf, then an arrow to the same elf with muscles awkwardly painted on and a pair of big axes facing a snake thrice its size, and then finally another arrow to one with an axe twice its size facing down a towering tree creature that could squish the elf flat with a step, and yet the hero, a shining aura surrounding it, showed no fear in its pose.

“-is progression!”

Lektoria looked up and down at the drawing over and over. "I see… but why is the little man juggling bowls with its arms? Ahhh. I believe I just do not understand this." shaking her head, the sphinx had to fly a bit closer. "Ah wait, it's a muscle. Huh!" she turned midair.

“You just don’t get my artistic brilliance” Jeon replied with exaggerated snobbiness

"Hmm. That would make sense. A level of progression beyond what a simple soldier or king would attain. That could work. It is my belief you should officialise it. Put all adventurers under your system by rule. I wish I could help more, but at the moment I have a great backlog of things to do in the underground…. That said, if you ever need gemstones or gold, I have river of those, not even a figure of speech."

“Ooo” the gods eyes lit up at the thought, a little bit of the old wrym greed raising its head before he quashed “Well. I mean. That won’t be useful once there's any kind of civilization. Elves back there don’t even know how to cook yet, let alone bartter for stuff. Buuuuut in the long run yeah that would be super handy I’m sure, so I’m not gonna say no to a wealthy patron sponsoring my fun, no mame”

“And, well, I think you’ve helped plenty, coz you’ve given me this idea” he flapped the paper with progressing elf about a touch “and for that you have my many thanks kitten”

”Hmm. To me gold is its own reward, but, I am glad I am of help. I do like the idea of adventurers exploring the caves and mountains I made, over uh, petty armies and kings.” she sighed. ”I would invite you to meet again, but I am currently homeless, I need to fix my things, carve a realm, then I can accommodate you, serve you some tea. My own way of saying thanks to you… lizard? goat? Hmm~ What to call you?”

“Oh I’m one of a kind my dear” the cat lizard goat elf thing replied with a flourish, before saying “but I’ll take goat for how funnilly ill fitting it is, or wrym, which is what I was”

”It is decided then, goat. We are now business partners.” she grabbed forward, as if trying to handshake, overshot, and ended up just sort of grabbing Jeon’s head, turning that into a headpat and pretending that was always the plan. ”Let’s make this a fun world to live in, yes?”

“Oh uh, sure thing” the goat replied, briefly flummoxed by this move, but in a good way, before recovering and pumping a fist excitedly “Yeah! You and me, we’re gonna shake stuff up, bring the party and ain't’ no one gonna stop us till this is a place full of heroes and epic tales of adventure!”




Darkwood Denizens


Two shapes darted through the Darkwoods like shadows in the night. Clad in large cloaks of forest-kin fur that still grew despite its former bearer’s demise the two elves stalked, the rest of their forms covered in simple leafy wraps for modesty, while the rest of their skin lay exposed but not bear, for it was instead covered in delicate patterns of blue woad and red bloodroot that allowed their pale skin to blend with the shadows, while also allowing for a bit of personal expression. One was covered in swirling fronded strokes of her namesake: Fern, while the other, Stag, had depicted a leaping deer upon his own chest.

The pair also wore crowns of branches, Fern’s a ring of thorny spikes while Stag had stolen the wooden antlers of his naming for headgear. Fern thought that was going a bit overboard on a singular aesthetic honestly, and sometimes teased him about it for fun.

Less fun was his constant skittishness, which presently resulted in a hushed conversation between the pair.

“There it was again!” Stag hissed, sharpened branch raised towards a patch of shadows, “I swear something following us”

“This is the third time now. Keep it up and you’ll end up like Acorn, mauled by a barkwolf after people stopped listening to her crying out about them” Fern replied, lowering her own spear, having not quite gotten to that point with him yet that she hadn't turned the moment he had cried danger.

“It’s not a wolf it was… person shaped” stag replied, before saying “Maybe it's an outcast?” (banishment, temporary or permanent, was the favored form of punishment by their tribe) “Or one of those ghosts the Prince sometimes talks to?”

“Oh so your pretty eyes are as good as a god’s now?” Fern teased

“No but... Come on I’m not the only one who’s seen things” Stag insisted, a touch flustered, “shadows in the distance, here one moment, gone the next”

“Ehhhh. I don’t know…” Fern replied, less certain about this point. Prince Termas had explained ghosts to them after people started thinking he was going nuts, and soon after people had started to see things too, but no one was sure if it was real ghosts they where glimpsing or just tricks of the light creeping through the leaves “look let’s just keep going, apple trees are close”

They were, indeed only a few steps away, but so was something unexpected: The pair suddenly found themselves stepping out into the evening sun where it should have still been hidden by the apple trees, the pair squinting hard at its sudden intrusion. So much so that they almost fell into the pit that had replaced their gathering spot.

“What? Where? Did we get lost?” Stag asked, standing upright front he stalking stoop they had been taking through the forests, and raising a hand over his brow to look around “I swear there wasn’t a clearing anywhere near here”

“I don’t think so, look” Fern replied, pointing down into the pit where, half buried in rock and soil, she had spotted the crushed remains of several apple trees.

“What in the world?” Stag said as he pampered down at them, before looking back to Fern only to find her half way through clambering down into the pit.

“What, I don’t want to come home empty handed, do you?” she called up to him before continuing downwards. Stag glanced back and forth for trouble, sighed, and then followed suit, sliding down into the pit and helping the more daring elf with salvaging whatever apples they could from the ruins, each picking over their own half of the ruins to increase harvesting speed.

A little later Stag, a leafy gathering bag full of dirty and bruised apples, met back up with Fern, finding her standing before a gaping hole in the deepest side of the pit, one they’d missed at first due to all the shattered lumber clogging it up.

“Guess this is maybe why everything collapsed?” she said to him as he approached, rubbing a pointed ear thoughtfully before noting that “Now that I see it, I think the whole pit leads down here?”

“Do you. Do you think something dug out? Like some sort of massive root viper?” Stag said, suddenly worried that whatever it was might be coming back

Fern shook her head “Doesn't look like anything’s scraped against the edges or something… maybe god made it?”

“Why?” Stag asked the obvious question, to which Fern replied with the equally obvious answer “So we could explore it of course!”

“What. Now?”

“Yeah! What are you, scared?” Fern leaned in to tease

“No!” Stag replied, unconvincingly due to a voice crack “but… Ok hear me out. What if instead we go back and tell people about it, and then we explore it once people know where we’re going?”

“Oh. Smart. That way they can come explore too” Fern agreed, somewhat missing the point “Sometimes your cowardice is a blessing Stag”

“Thanks… Hey wait!” turned to glare at her for the insult, but Fern was already racing up and out of the pit, pausing only to stick out her tongue at him before continuing to hurry on upwards.

“Hey come on! Wait up!” Stag called after her, before chasing on up after her as darkness fell upon the land.

Into that darkness came a shadow, abandoning its curious stalking of the elves as they hurried back home, and instead slinked down into the pit to investigate it instead.

First things first, the Umbra phased its head through the ruins of the trees to find the apples the elves had missed, before turning physical in-order to dig them out and consume them. Then, once sated, it drifted towards the deep dark entrance to the underground the elves had found and put off investigating till they had supplies and had told people about their discovery.

The simple minded shadow had no such thoughts, only curiosity: where did the hole lead?

There was, of course, only one way to find out.




Q-T Brackman


If Q-T had had nerves they would have been wracked by the fight, despite having not actually been involved. Actually because she had not been involved. The soft humans were out there, fighting for their lives, while she, the armored AI, was stuck in a box with nothing but the muffled sounds of violence. Well that and the commentary of her colleagues (who had taken a seat on the box inorder to stop her escaping from it).

Neisly’s agitation about not being allowed to just shoot these fools did little to sooth her concerns, and though Riley remained calm and the voice of reason, the bot had know her for long enough to know when the woman was suppressing her own fear or concern in the name of putting on a brave face and being the calm and commanding voice of reason in a crisis situation.

Still, in the end, all the bot’s concerns were for naught as the guards did their job marvelously, stepping in to cleanly and efficiently take care of the thugs, a life on a relatively conflict free explorer vessel having not dulled their skills one bit it seemed.

Catherine’s own contribution could hardly be described as clean, but you couldn’t argue with its efficiency.

Finally the local guards showed up to do their jobs after the incident was resolved, and then proceeded to request the presence of the adventurers, to, as it turned out, deal with another one of their messes. The two human astronauts took over box carrying duty form their captain, it would hardly be dignified for their boss to be hauling stuff about when meeting an official of the city after all. So instead it was they who got the odd looks as they to me to you’d the Q-T containing crate all the way into the mayotal office, and then proceeded to use it as a chair while he explained the situation.

Drawing inspiration from Garret’s guards they set up a comlink with Q-T so that she could better hear what was going on, and they could quietly converse with her without the bot giving away her existence.

”A dark lord? Really?” Q-T whispered into their ears via the pair of earring stud looking coms units the pair had

“Eh I mean, they’ve already got dragons, elves, magic and stuff, so a card carrying big bad evil guy is sorta expected at this point right?” Neisly pointed out in a pretty attached manner that Riley did not agree with.

“Please focus on the fact that we and the ship are in danger rather than the tropes of the situation” she said to which Neisly retorted “Please, I’m sure Garret and the girls can handle a few goblins or whatever other fantasy minions this guy’s sent to look around”

Q-T wasn't so sure things would be fine. She was also going stir crazy in her box, but there’d be no leaving that any time soon, as someone had finally had the guts and brains to tell the captain no and to have her sit out of the danger this time. Instead she was being functionally put under house arrest while the situation was handled, which left them in pretty much the same situation, the pair of noncombatant ladies picking up the Q-T cube and hauling along to whatever room the captain was being grounded in.

wordcount: 1330 (+3) (+35)
Midna: level 8 EXP: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////(81/80)
Location: Sandswept Sky - Train
Warp Charges: 1


Inside and out of the Convent of Our Lady of the Charred Visage the wasp’s nest’s rage was cooling from a frantic inferno to a simmering range. Neither the intruders nor the captives could be found, no matter how far the sisters scouted out into the snow. It was as if they had jumped off of the roof and then simply vanished into thin air.

Which was, of course, exactly what had happened, as Midna had swiftly whisked everyone back to the virgin victory via her twilight warp. However, the mountain still held unfinished business for her, and this time she was not going to put the others in danger for the rest of her little side quest. So once she (and her minions) were healed up, rested and recovered, it was back into the fray for her while the others headed off after the train riders.

First thing’s first, she teleported back to the warpstone they’d set up a closet inside the convent, adding another few more tallies to the kill list in the process when she appeared right beside some suspicious sisters prodding the out of place stone.

She then stashed that rock in the twilight realm, jumped back to the other warp stone atop the mountain before anyone responded to the sound of violence, stored it too, and finally used her own warp system to return to the entrance of the convent to start the next leg of her descent.

Slipping from shadow to shadow the princess made quick work of avoiding the religious weirdos spreading out across their section of the mountain, then slipped down through the ice cold caverns and equally chilly catacombs, the darkness within the mountain giving her endless ways to just shadow skip past any and all threats.

Knowing the way back certainly helped a whole bunch as well, and soon enough she was back in High Hrothgar, home of the greybeards and the highest (sane) bastion of civilization on the mountain where the heroes had taken a break during their climb.

Midna did the same here, and traded a few words with their leader Arngeir over a light lunch regarding both the true nature of the Convent, the elder promising they would warn anyone else climbing the mountain of this danger so that the fate of the faithful would not be repeated, and about the rest of their climb as well to which he listened with polite interest.

She also asked him about those that had turned back, and found that Sora, Mao and Minamoto had all passed through on their way down, and were presumably back at Tostarena Town by now, as long as they hadn’t run into trouble on the way.

With information traded the princess bade the greybeards farewell and headed down to where they had met the man entombed in the iron statue who’s request for oil had begun this whole side adventure. Midna wasn’t sure how to feel about him now that she knew all about the place the oil he desired came from, but his request had indirectly saved two lives, so she still felt she owed him his strange last wish.

Retracing the party’s steps, she found him, and found that when he had said ‘Now, let my numbed arm become another branch of this withered olive tree’ he had been quite literal, as his exposed arm had indeed become a tree branch while they had been away. His half exposed face, however, remained human and its eye opened in order to look down at at her when she approached, boots crunching on the snow.

A hoarse voice tried to speak, but no words could come, and all the entombed man could do was watch with anticipation and then relief as the princess brushed a hand over her palm and summoned the little thimble of oil from the twilight realm, its contents still piping hot despite the time passed.

She rose up into the air before him, holding up the thimble, only to hesitate before doing the deed. ”I…” she began to say, and then bit her tongue. This poor soul did not need to hear her disparaging his last wish, this she knew, and so instead she simply said ”Here. Be at peace” and looked away as she ‘blessed’ him with the scorching oil.

In a response there came a cry of pain and rapture, and then a the words

“I feel the boiling oil entering my frigid veins.
I can still answer the call…”

Then, nothing more. Midna tried to get his attention a few more times and then sighed. She turned. Began to drift away, and then turned again to look at him one last time, only for her eyes to go wide.

”What. Where?” she asked, seeing the statue suddenly empty. At first she thought he had simply turned to ash, but none was to be found inside the statue, nor was his spirit. Then she looked down and saw that there were footsteps in the snow, leading down the mountain.

She had no idea how he had moved so fast or so silently, or even escaped from the sealed statue, but she followed his steps nonetheless, his footprints becoming surrounded by more and more root like impressions till they entered a cave. Midna followed, and gasped as she came across a field of lumionse flowers within the cave, and then despair as she saw what had become of Gemino.

The man was a man no more, but instead had been consumed by wizened bark, branch and roots to such an extent that he had become a tree, one that knelt before a coffin surrounded by other figures who had turned into trees just like him.

”Was this the call? Why? Who even is this?” the princess asked the dead as she floated across the field of flowers to avoid stepping on them, as the man had somehow also avoided doing so, and examined the tomb upon which she found a name: ”Engracia?”

She had no context for any of this, least of all who this was. Was she to blame for Gemino’s state or if she had been a last respite for him before the curse took him. She had no idea.

In the end all she could say was ”At least this is a better place to die than that barren slope” while picking a few shining flowers and placing them on the tomb, an offering to Gemino as much as it was to this woman whom he had come to pay his respects to in his final moments, willingly or not.

Then, after a few moments of silence for the departed, she left, the princess rendered equal parts confused and sorrowful by the whole ordeal. Yet it wasn’t at an end quite yet. As she exited the cave and returned to the path she saw the statue he had been trapped in once again. Yet rather than remain as she had left it, it now sported a bloom of frozen flowers at its feet and, sitting in their midst, a bright red string, its luster contrasting greatly with the white snow. Upon its length sat a single frozen olive strung up like a rosary bead.

A strange and yet fitting parting gift from this misbegotten mountain.

With the string draped around her neck the Twilight Princess descended it at a breakneck pace atop her Wolf-Dran steed, blasting through the monster infested slopes, past the slumbering bear and through its autumn dream, alongside the racers of the Redstone City and finally back down to Tostarena Town where a happy reunion was had and a trio of allies returned to the fold.

Then, one last twilight gate opened in the vicinity of the mountain and the Princess finally left it behind, now with Sora, Mao and Minamoto in tow. It was well past time she and it parted ways in Midna’s opinion, and besides, they had a train to catch.




“Boring boring boring, it’s just rocks rocks rocks,” Jeon complained as he soared above a particularly barren part of the southern continent, having accidentally gone in just the entirely wrong direction when it came to cool places to see. Then, all of a sudden, he spotted something out of the ordinary. Sparkles, drifting on the wind.

“Ooo what is that” the god cooed and swept down after them and followed in their wake till they rained down on an unremarkable patch of land devoid of life. Till now.

The sparkles burst into bright flashes where they landed, and unveiled tall creatures with fair skin and pointed ears. As the god swooped in they began picking themselves up and looking around in a daze, only to startle as the god leapt from his glider and landed among them.

“Hello hello! Don’t be afraid my tall elvish friends, it's just me, your friendly neighborhood god, Jeon Du Termas!” the adventurer assured the beings, having assumed their species correctly, amused by how the towering beings shied away from his comparatively short form.

One (male, long flowing black hair down to his shoulders, a bit scrawny but tall even for his kind) found the courage to speak up and ask “G-god? You are a god?”

“Yup. immortality, impossibly good vision, spontaneous creation of whatever I want. The works.” Jeon elaborated, making a little shower of sparkles appear from his hand to show off. Then he realized that most of the elves couldn't see him and ordered the asker to “You, minion, pick me up and put me on your shoulders!”

“I... yes my god, right away” the bemused elf replied, and soon enough Jeon was riding piggyback on the shoulders of the tall elf, now nicely in view of the others as he held up a hand and shot a series of magical missiles into the sky like fireworks and declaring “Behold a god!”and revelling in the oohs and aahs he got in response.

“If.. if you are a god then.. Did you make us?” the one hesitantly asked once his little show was over “and.. All of this?”

“... sure!” Jeon lied, before taking another look at ‘all this’ and adjusting “Well not all this. This lame dead place was here when I got here. Not exactly a fun to explore let me tell you. Once you’ve seen one field of gray rocks you’ve seen them all to be honest. But don’t you worry, ol Jeon’s going to get you covered on that, because as your gracious creator I'll also be making this place way more fun!” he declared, before adding “Oh and also livable” almost as a second thought.

That whoever had made these tall folks had allowed them to come to life in the middle of nowhere with no food or shelter made Jeon consider his impulsive directions to claim to be their creator entirely justified. Never mind that he too had almost forgotten about their basic needs too.

“Now watch, as I bring this dead land to life before your very eyes!” he declared, before conjuring a single seed and tossing it over the heads of the elves to land in the dirt beyond their gathering. After a moment a single tree began to rapidly grow from the earth

There were gasps of amazement, and then an awkward silence as the single tree just kept getting bigger and bigger which, while impressive, didn't exactly constitute enough plantlife to live off of.

“I’m sorry but, ah, is that-” one began to say before Jeon held up a hand and said “Waiiiiiit for it”

The tree grew to maturity, bloomed and then sprouted seeds, which fell around it. Then those started growing, flowering, and seeding too, each sequence going faster and faster and faster, till hundreds of years of cycles of growth where occurring in the blink of an eye and then after an age and no time at all the elves were left standing in a clearing in the middle of a vast and positively ancient woods.

“And hey presto, that’s how you make a quintessential dark forest” the god declared, giving a little bow from atop his godly shoulder throne. The elves eyed the woods, which were quite dark and foreboding truth be told, and which echoed with the sounds of strange beasts, with a certain amount of apprehension.

When one of them asked what was in there Jeon shrugged his shoulders and replied “I have no idea!”

“But.. did you not make it? Do you not know all?”

“Nah, omniscience wasn’t part of the package, plus I also made myself forget what was in there so I could join in the fun of discovery with you!” he declared, right before a fish burst from the tree line. A tuna, to be exact, one that floated through the air in a brief moment of confusion that the leaves it had been swimming through had ended, before doing an about turn and darting back into the safety of the treeline.

“Was that a flying fish?! Wow past me was silly” the god declared, giggling with delight at the nonsense (much to the elves confusion) before thrusting a pointing finger dramatically forwards “Now into the forest with you all! Adventure awaits!”

The elves hesitantly entered the woods, and found their iris widening greatly to take in the low light far better than any human could, while their strong limber forms picked their way through the gaps between trees with supple sturdy grace.

It was as if they were made for this.

It was, of course, the other way around, or so Jeon assumed as he admired his own work for the first time, watching an octopus grappling from branch to branch as it chased after a minnow, or catching a glimpse of a deer made of root and branch that blended in so well with the other foliage none but he saw it.

The elves meanwhile, after they got over the simple awe of all the life around them, had more base desires than sightseeing.

Namly food.

“My god, can we eat those?” one asked, pointing at some bright and colorful mushrooms growing on a rotting log.

“Well there’s only one way to find out!” Jeon declared, “and that is to first give it a sniff, then you first take a little bit of it and put it on your elbow and wait to see if you get a rash, and then put some on a finger and do the same. Then you do that with your tongue for the same again. Then you take a liiiitle bit in your mouth. Then finally you eat a little bit and see if you get sick and then, only then, do you actually try eating a lot of it”

There was silence from the elves after this sudden technical explanation, which after it dragged on for a bit too long the god said “What? Did you expect me to say ’eat it and see if you die’ or something? Sillies, exploring new places is what I do, and knowing how to survive out in the wild without any prior knowledge is a key part of that!”

“Could you not do that now?” one asked “as a god, you would not die even if it was not safe”

“Yeah, sure, but then you wouldn't learn how to do it and then where would you be after I leave?”

“You're going to leave?”

“At some point. Gonna go see all there is to see once you're all settled and stuff” he replied, before moving past that and commanding “Now get to taste testing all the things, we don't have all day!”

And that they did, long slender arms picking fruits from the vine, berries for the bush, roots from the soil, mushrooms from the rot, prawns from hiding spots and fish from the air and testing them all out as their god had instructed.

It was a pretty slow process but it did work to ensure there were no casualties.

Well almost.

The god found himself standing over the body of one sorry sod who had gotten impatient, skipped steps in the procedure and poisoned himself to death with a berry as a result.

“Poor guy, should have listened…” the god sighed while shaking his head, feeling a little bad about this before looking up, squinting and saying “hey wait a second” when he saw an identical figure to the dead elf standing above the corpse.

“Hey, hey you, is that your twin or something?” the god asked, pointing at the figure to which both the identical elf and one right behind him replied “me?”

“No not you back there this guy, the one standing right above the body” he clarified

“Me?” said another crouching to the side of the corpse

“No no here” the god waved a finger and caused a glowing arrow right above the twin

“I, my god, there is no one there?” his shoulder throne informed him

“Yes there is” Jeon said, to which the twin concurred “Yes I am!”

The others looked very confused.

“... maybe it's a god thing” Jeon guessed, watching as the twin tried to get the attention of another elf, getting more angry that he wasn't being heard and then finally ended up phasing right through the other elf when he tried to hit them for ignoring him “yeah, definitely a god thing” he added, before glancing around and, now knowing what he was looking for, seeing a whole lot of other things just like the dead elf, mostly consisting of stuff the elves had eaten. There was in fact a whole world invisible to the mortal eye full of plants and animals and even rocks just casually phasing through solid matter and all looking as bemused as the god currently felt, which was quite strange.

“Well that’s weird. I guess ghosts exist?” he said to himself, before declaring that fact “neat!”

Unfortunately any deeper investigation of this would have to wait, as the scent of death, or more specifically the blood vomited up by the poor elf before he died, had drawn in those that fed on life.

Creeping through the undergrowth came wolves, but not normal wolves no, these ones had bright green glowing eyes and coats of foliage that had allowed them to go undetected to all but the god.

“Careful, predators!” Jeon shouted, pointing towards the plant beasts and cluing the mortals in on the danger. They all turned to look where he was pointing as the wolves, seeing they had been detected, rose up and began circling and growling menacingly, trying to spook the tall things into running so they could single out a victim from the crowd.

“Nobody panic! Just stick together! There’s more of you than there are of them!” the god declared to the subset of elves currently in danger, trying to ensure that was no rout as they huddled together on instinct

“Won’t you protect us god?” an elf begged, to which the still mounted on another’s sholder’s Jeon shook his head and replied “No, you need to be able to do that yourselves.”

“But how, they have sharp teeth and we do not” another cried out as a wolf darted forwards and bit the air intimidatingly.

“You have hands, gods… my gift to people! Now use them! Pick stuff up and toss it at the wolves you apes!” the god demanded, and the elves, after a moment of hesitation, obeyed, grasping whatever they could find.

A few moments later the wooden wolves were fleeing in a confused panic while being pelted with rocks, dirt, sticks, leftover food, and anything else the elves could get their hands on.

The elves rejoiced, but the god just shook his head “Yeesh, you people don't know the first thing about how to survive do you huh?” before cracking his knuckles “but that’s fine, my little birdies, because Jeon’s going to teach you all the secrets of survival for this very nasty world”

“What’s a bird?” one asked, having never seen one of those in the god’s flying fish filled forest

The god pursed his lips and then sighed. This was going to take a while.




Time passed, and through teaching and learning by experience the elves adapted to their new forest home. They sharpened sticks into spears using wolf fangs, made bags and clothes out of bark and leaves and crafted nice treetop meditation spots where they could be safe from ground based danger while they rested.

As they adapted and multiplied the god came and went, Jeon traveling around and finding other elves that had been caught up in his tree expansion and teaching them too, while also plumbing the depths of his own creation and unveiling every secret it held, though he kept them all to himself so the elves could make their own discoveries.

Eventually he would grow bored of this and set out to see the rest of the world once more, but for the time being the woods were an adventure well worth exploring.





The grand wrym with pale splotches that decorated its scales of deepest blue like stars in the sky was not lost. No, not at all. The [boundless explorer] was simply doing what he did best, which was go where no one had ever dreamed of going before. Of course, this time, he may have gone just a touuuuuch too far to somewhere he had no way of getting back on his own, let alone being resuced.

Piercing the veil between universes and then going in near blind had perhaps not been the wisest move in hindsight, and though the view might be wonderful (swirling masses of color, writhing with potential and power surrounded the wrym as far as the eye could see) it did lack somewhat in things like: food, water, companionship and, well sanity.

Drifting here in the void, the wrym had long since expended all his supplies, but fortunately his [greater resistance: starvation] and [greater resistance: dehydration] perks were keeping him going, though only with enough energy to just barely turn the page of a book. The wyrm had a fair few of those, all his favorite kind, and the kind that had inspired him to be who he was today: tales of adventure. They were the kind of stories he could never get tired of, which was a good thing indeed, because he had lost count of how many times he had read them over and over and over and over again while drifting here in the void, the words, ideas and tropes all melding into his mind with each repetition.

Then, it came, salvation, heralded on the cosmic wind.

“I am Anath Homura! Come forth to me, and become the cosmic cultivators and architects of a new realm! Join my pantheon, and become Divine! Shape the sturdy land, shift the singing sea, sculpt the soaring sky, rewrite reality in accordance with your visions!”

The wyrm stirred, eyes painstakingly turning away from the pages and towards the source of the sound. With that first and only fixed point, everything suddenly, briefly, made sense. Distance was nothing, not even a concept, in this place. All he needed to do was reach out with a thought and a wisp of power and he could be where the voice had come from.

Yet as he did, he felt a barrier, an insignificant thing really, a wisp of a field that kept what existed separate from what did not and yet, and yet, it was still far too much for the withering wyrm.

“Ah, curse, this… this… this tease!” he spoke with cracked lips “My mind is willing but my body, oh my body, i cant, it wont…” the wyrm despaired, curling in on itself in misery.

But then came a thought. And idea “if this body is dead and gone, why not just burn it for power? Yes. Yes! Oh it will cost so much but, ah, what is that compared to this sad bitter end” the wyrm said, before it coiled in on itself yet further, not to despair, but to consume. Like an ouroboros it devoured it’s own body for power and then pushed what little remained through the barrier and into the new world.




Then he opened his eyes, and though he was no longer a wyrm, he lived nonetheless

“AHAHAHAHA I AM A GENIUS!” he declared triumphantly, arms pumped up in the air. Or up in the void.

Then he looked down and saw the world, the only world, far far below him, yet also rapidly approaching.

“Oh No!” the new thing cried out, chestnut skinned limbs flailing as he plummeted towards the ground without a wyrm’s majestic grace.

“[Featherfall]! [Defy Gravity]! Damn it, why isn't it working!” He cried out as the powers of old failed to even manifest. Then he hit the atmosphere screaming and burned, burned, burned and his worldly possessions that he had spent so much power taking with him burning too. Fire consumed him and then, it ended.

For a moment he thought himself dead, and then he looked down and saw the same world below, still approaching, but slower now as terminal velocity took hold and the air softened his fall. Somewhat. Hitting the dirt was still going to hurt.

“What. how. Oooooooooh. ‘Join my pantheon, and become Divine’ of course, of course. Guess there was no vetting or application process then huh. Just stringent into the job? Well. if I’m divine then i should be able toooo” the new god put his hands together and focused for a moment, then cast them out and grasped onto the handrail of his new bright red canvased glider.

Then the screaming began again, but not of fear but of joy as the god claimed control of his fall and turned into a ferociously fast glide, the explorer rushing over the new land at terrible speeds. Blasting over the path of a butterfly, beneath that of a floating ship and across a marsh of blood till at least he slowed enough to come into a landing atop the tallest peak of a chain of mountains running from pole to equator.

The glider came in for a landing, flipped up at the last moment and two cat-like paws hit the surface of this new land for the first time. Then a second later a spiked end of a pole struck into the earth, and a flag unfurled at the top of the world.

“I calm this land in the name of… uh… where was I from again?” the alien invader asked himself, staring up at a set of colors on cloth he no longer knew the meaning of “Weeeeeelllllll shoot. Um. Oh! I know!” he said, before clearing his throat, and trying again “I claim this land in the name of Jeon Du Termas!” raising and replanting the flag that had become emblazoned with his own name, written in electrical blue cursive on a light pink background.

Jeon stood around for a few moments, feeling mighty proud of himself, and then rapidly got bored. “Eh, it’s not the same when there aren't some baffled natives around” he complained.

Then he looked down and realized that that was probably for the best.

“Ah so that is why it was feeling a bit cold down there. woops”

As funny as it would be to meet a local or other god in the nude, his new body made that a pretty embarrassing prospect , and so a nice pair of shorts, a waistcoat, and some fluttery flowing garbs for the arms and butt were in order. Throw in some glittering jewels here and there and he was the picture of princely finery.

“There we go. Nice and presentable. Oh and one last thing” he said after his makeover, before adding a nice curved rapier to his hip. Just because he was a god didn't mean he shouldn't be armed after all. “Dangerous world out there after all. Probably. Maybe. Better be, won't be exciting if its not”

All suited up, he put two scaled fingers to his lips and whistled, causing his glider to get picked up by a gust of wind and blown back to him. The god leapt, snatched the bar of it again, and then was off, swooping across the world once more to see what there was to see.




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