Xaltwind
Tally Dor
Bugman
Lemons
Noctis
Skyguard
Half Pint
ScreenAcne
ErosSense
LandainBad Prince Ned
Seated inside the used tradesman wagon with his warhorse put to the indignity of having to pull it, Prince Edmund Darrington - Defender of the Realms, Lord of the Wastes, Eminence of Skulls, and (now) the exiled prince of the Kingdom of Yavell paused, his face twisting before he covered it with a handkerchief, sneezed mightily. It was hardly the first such today.
He had started his morning inside a cell in one of the castle's dungeons, having been locked up the night before. Dragged out and brought out before his own court, forced to his knees with his arm wrenched painfully behind his back as he watched the high priest of the kingdom crowning his beloved Abigail as the new ruler of Yavell. Then his younger brother James joined her, the first to kneel before her and swear fealty to the new queen. He then shot Ned a look of scorn and triumph as he slid to her side as the next lordling knelt to pledge his oath to her.
Finally, it was his turn.
"Edmund Darrington," she said regally, "Stories of your misdeeds have spread around the kingdom, so Yavell has turned to me to provide justice. I find you guilty of actions against my person..."
"But I... ack!" he yelled as the guard twisted his arm again. Several around him jeered at him, and a sweet, little old grandmother spat in his face.
"Silence!" Queen Abigail ordered. The remaining guards not twisting his arms behind his back beat on the floor with the butts of their polearms as the crowd grew silent.
"There are many," she added, looking down at him, "Who would have me execute you here and now. But I remember your rescue earlier this week, so instead, I will let you keep your life and send you into exile."
Ned frowned. She wasn't going to chop off his head or imprison him?
"Your horse is outside. The guards will drag you out and mount you on it, and escort you to the border."
"But... ack!"
"Take him away!"
When they reached the border with Geodel, the guards actually slit the leather cords around his wrists, leaving him to fumble with the gag they had tied on, then actually let him cross over, watching him as he galloped towards Geodel's capital - and his college, where he had been taking classes.
He found the bursar and told him he was withdrawing from the college, and demanding a refund of the tuition his dead father had paid them. It was in fact waiting for him, as the school had expected him to be taking over his kingdom and wanted to be nice to the new king. He did not dissuaded them, leaving immediately for his tower room.
Here, there was weapons. Here, there was armor. Here, there was clean clothes and a chance for a quick bath while his room mates argued over what to send with him.
"You're not going to appeal to the king here? Get his support..."
"The king here hates me. The moment he learns I've been exiled, he's going to do so as well."
"Why...?"
"Because I turned down his second daughter's hand."
"Tilly? Is it because she talks to animals?"
"She talks to the food on her plate. No, she converses with it! She was sitting next to me and conversing with the beef in her trencher! Tilly's going to get locked away in her bedroom if the king can't find a husband to take her."
"Oh, he has found a husband for her," one of them said. "Some knight killed a dragon on the northern border yesterday, so he's giving him Tilly's hand in marriage."
"I feel sad for the knight. Do we know who it is?"
"Bains...bridge, something like that."
"From Elicia? Well, he's not poor now."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Open an inn."
"What?" the three demanded, staring at him as he toweled off. Gods, he was going to miss servants.
"My father's fortune teller warned me that I was going to wind up without a kingdom," Ned said, his face and chest blushing as he remembered his meeting with her, and the fact she was not wearing so much as a stich of clothing while breathing in the vapors. "She said I should build an inn, somewhere isolated, outside any city."
"She told you that? So..."
"She left an impression," Ned said curtly, cutting them off.
"But you know nothing about running an inn!"
"Are there even farms?"
"Or carpenters?"
"You remember those blisters from Exile 101 where you had to do a garden plot?"
"Did anything grow?"
"Weeds..." one of them muttered.
"There was that carrot..."
"That wasn't a carrot, it was hemlock."
"Nobody said it was going to be easy!" Ned snapped.
"You're going to need some gear," Prince Pulver said, glancing sadly at him from his bed. "And at least some means of carrying it all."
And so here he was, sneezing his head off as he drove his wagon out of the market with the few things he was able to gather, only to see the grim faces of a squad of Geodel's guardsmen, led by a knight with a scarlet surcoat.
"Darrington!" the knight demanded, staring out of his helmet
"Sir Sobieck," Ned nodded in greeting. "I'm guessing the king has heard."
"Yes, and he wants you out of the kingdom!"
"And not to dinner? I've heard he's found a husband for Princess Tilly."
Sobieck angrily blushed redder than his surcoat.
"Never you mind about that," he hissed. "We're to escort you to the border!"
"I have some things to pick up from the college, you don't mind if we stop there, first?"
His room mates got some underclassmen to bring down a trunk and a sack with suspicious, book-like bulges.
"Some reading materials for you," Prince Pulver whispered.
"From your own collection?"
"About farming and carpentry?" Pulver laughed. "No, we grabbed these from the school's library. In your name, of course."
"Of course," Ned scowls.
"Well, good luck innkeeper!"
Days later, Ned tugged on the reins, staring down at the ruined hamlet and the few people below who seemed to be in some kind of argument.
"Fortune teller, what have you got me into?" Ned muttered under his breath before starting down.
