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4 mos ago
Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All of that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.
8 likes
4 mos ago
Oh sorry. I read the question wrong. 1's actually my social security number.
1 like
4 mos ago
1
4 likes
4 mos ago
The phallic stimulation toy of consequence rarely arrives pre-lubricated.
8 likes
10 mos ago
Imagine not knowing about the schenanigans that coding-wizard got into on Iwaku... There's no post formatting that man can't harness for his unholy machinations.
2 likes

Bio

I have 3 mottos here in life, really.




Most Recent Posts



Reisai's best friend, boys.


Reisai
Shimodaruma

He woke up in the morning to the chippering of the birds, he got out of bed and headed towards his window. He opened his window up, letting the cooling breeze come in through his window as the sun was high in the sky already. He took a couple of deep breaths, stretching while leaning out of the window, arching his back forward as it let out cracking sounds and he let out a pleased sigh, he opened his eyes again, to find the birds sitting next to him on the window. They were cooing next to him - they wanted food. He let out a soft smile, and turned around, digging his hand into a bag on the bookshelf next to him. He got out a handful of sunflower seeds - the sunflower they came from next to the bookshelf, and held out his hand to the birds, the five birds all began picking at the seeds, the smaller birds finished up and flew away, as a bigger bird, with some red feathers on the head walked up to him, turning it's face to the side, and cooing.

"You can eat, too. It's fine." Shisai told him, as the bird quickly walked up to his hand and began eating seeds, while Shisai softly stroked the feathers on the bird - a little bigger than his hand's head.
"This is like, the fourth time you're here this week, I think you like me." Reisai said, as the bird chippered cheerfully. "It'd be nice to have a friend in the sky, don't you think?" He said to the bird, whom responded with cooing at him. "I like you, I think I'm gonna call you Masashi!" Shisai told the bird, continuing to pet the animal with his index finger, till all the seeds were gone.

He held out his finger, and Masashi jumped on it, he continued to pet the bird for a moment more, as he caught the glimpse of another bird - the same kind as Masashi, but with different patterns on it's chest, a female. He noticed that the bird in his hand did the same. "Got a crush, do we?" He giggled. "Go get her, you can take her out to dinner. My treat." The chunnin joked, handing the bird another seed that the animal put in it's beak and flew away towards the bird the two of them had seen.

Once he was done chatting with the birds outside his window, he went to his small kitchen, getting into his primitive cooling unit - cooled by ice he had made himself, and got out a bottle of yoghurt, he fetched a bowl and some cereal and had himself some breakfast. Once he had done the dishes and put everything back neatly where he took it, he undresses and showered for a good half an hour. The warm water always felt good on his skin. Once he was done relaxing, he dried himself off, got dressed and brushed his teeth. Before he left the bathroom, he died his forehead protector - the symbol of the leaf on the metal plate, around his forehead. Like all the days before, doing so filled him with an overwhelming sensation of pride. He was proud to be a leaf ninja - more so than many others, he found, and today was one of those days where that would become rather evident.

He had been reassigned to a new team, as a result of the splitting up of his previous team, his sensei retiring and his other teammates were still genin, so they got assigned to another team, as did he. His new team was lead by the recently reinstated Hotsuma Senju, a man who, despite being powerful, a former apprentice of the second hokage, a war-veteran and the younger brother of another well esteemed jonin, still ran away from his duties, abandoning the Hidden Leaf in her most dire moment. His new sensei was a coward, yet, he had to trust in the judgment of the Third, that she had reinstated him out of desire, not desperation.

He was soon off to meet them, and before any introductions could be made, they were already off, leaping from branch to branch. They were off to aid Team Konoha, lead by the Third, leading a team of two chunnin like him, and a seasoned genin, all from the noble clans of the village. His teammates consisted of the rather interesting kunochi Oichi Tsubaki, a medical ninja, like him. And the younger and lower ranked Kiyoshi Uzumaki, a survivor of a extinct clan, like him. They were certainly a team would could all relate to one another in one way or the other.

Kiyoshi asked them what their deal was, Oichi demonstrated - using jutsu Reisai had never seen before. He was a little surprised, and even got an urge to show off his own abilities, but he decided against it, they had an important mission ahead of them, this was no time to waste his energy.

"That sure is really cool, Oichi. Kyoshi, you shoot arrows armed with sealing techs? That's awesome. I've got a more chilly approach to things." He said, letting out a chuckle at his own joke, that the others probably would not understand. "I'm a medic and a ninjutsu specialist. You can count on me to always have your back." He assured, as the four continued on their long journey to Kumogakure.

"Captain Hotsuma's a taijutsu specialist, he studied under the Second Hokage, or so they say." He added, in a way to, despite his own doubts about the traitorous Senju, increase the morale of his teammates, and hopefully make them trust their leader the same way the Third Hokage must have, in order to send for him in this time of crisis.

He looked to the side, seeing a crow fly past him, peacefully, while he and his teammates were marching towards a battleground, his thoughts went back to the bird outside his window. I wonder what Masashi's doing right now?

The boat had docked on Stagio island long enough for Chester to get off and head towards the city square - but before he could, he needed to get another drink. In the middle of the plaza, he found a stand with a man selling the homegrown Crystal-Grog, a clear liquid he promised was the strongest grog on the whole island. Chester looked at the man, his wrinkly face, his balding head and his gray stands of hair left a rather pathetic impression on the young pirate. The old man's crooked back and poor posture, skinny arms and legs solidified the impression.

"Hey, young man, fancy a drink? A thousand bellies and you'll get the strongest drink on the whole island!" The man promise, puffing his rather small chest in from under the unbuttoned patterned shirt, his shorts were matching.

"I like your shirt and your shorts, you look trustworthy!" Chester exclaimed, swiftly, the man blinked quickly, "Uh, thanks? I am! For you, young man, you get my great Clear-Grog for only half the price!" The old man said, and Chester grinned. "... I don't have any money on me." He remembered, frowning. "Damn, and I really need a drink."

"O-Oh" The old man responded. "Well then, you can move along then."

"Give me a bottle and I'll pay you later."

"That's not how it works, idiot!" The man responded, holding the large bottle in his hand. Chester huffed. "Yes it is! I'll pay you two thousand for it in an hour when I've got some money, you can trust me, I'm a pirate!" He shouted, and the man smacked him in the forehead. "I said no! Beat it you filth!"

"GIMME IT!" Chester shouted, leaping on the man and the bottle, putting his teeth around the base of the bottle, as he was using his arms to try and push the old man away from the bottle, squatting on the counter of the man's little shop. The old man had Chester's hands in his face, as he was trying to punch the pirate off of him.

PLOP And like that, the bottle had escaped the old man's grasp, flying through the air, knocked by the force of Chester's jaw, it twirled in the air and Chester caught it. "FINE, TAKE IT. BUT I WANT TEN THOUSAND FOR IT!" The old man shouted, laying in the sand of the plaza. Chester nodded."If it's as good as you say, you can have however much you want." Chester said, as he uncorked it and took a big swig of the strongest booze on the whole island. His satisfied smirk turned sour after a couple of mouthfuls.

"HEY! THIS IS JUST REGULAR WATER!" He shouted, the old man quickly propped himself back up on the counter. "But of course. Why would I keep the strongest, legendary Clear-Grog on my person? Then any scoundrel would steal it." He said, smart, Chester walked towards him, his face blank as he put his forearm against the man's throat and pushed him against the wall.

"You. Do. Not. Joke. About. Booze." He spit in the man's face as he spoke. The old man quivering stuttered out "b-By the waterfront, m-my stash, you can take two bottles f-f-free of charge!" The old man shouted, as Chester's expression turned from rage to glee.

".. Great! Thanks!" He shouted, as the old man was let down and he walked towards the directions he had been given.

Some five minutes later, a hulking man walked up to the old man, checking his face in the glass panel on the side, seeing his reflection, he tested a few different facial expressions, one cheeky smile, one scowl and one smug smile, he decided on the scowl as he turned to the old man. "You! You've seen a man around here? About this tall, average build, blonde hair, reeks of booze? Absolute idiot?"

"U-h, yeah! I have. He was heading down the waterfront. A-Are you a friend of his?"

"I'm about to make his acquaintance..." The large man said with a sly smirk.


Uchiha Kaido


Once his team had listened to his speech and his orders, they had all disappeared to prepare, as did he. He would be standing outside the city gates some 20 minutes later with supplies. His folded fuma shuriken hung from his hip neatly, he had exchanged his normal black cloth gloves for metal plated onces, as well as now wearing his reinforced ninja vest, the hardened leather at his shoulders protecting him from weaponry. He arrived on top of the gate, in time to see two of his three students already present. He grabbed his mission backpack, which included first aid equipment, spare weapons, rations and the like, before he set off to meet his team at the gate. To his surprise, all three students were already there, as he arrived two minutes before the assigned time.

"I see you all managed the time poorly. Being too early's not much better than being late." He criticized the three of them, walking past them, his hands resting on the straps of his backpack. "We will move in single line convoy to the outskirts of the land of Waves, to a little place called Wild Pond Village, a fishing town outside of borders of the Hidden village. We will make contact with a spy from the Leaf, an old friend of mine, who should know about any deals regarding the scrolls. Remember to stay sharp, especially once we get into enemy territory, it will get serious very quickly, and I will not babysit you."

"Move out." He signaled, body flickering onto the treeline they would use to travel covertly, making sure to move at a speed his underlings would be able to follow, they would arrive at the Wild Pond in an hour if they all kept up with Kaido's pace, giving them all enough time to converse and stop for a quick refresher before they passed the borders.


Eiichiro Kishimoto


Kishimoto smiled softly as they all finished their brief presentations, he dug into his rucksack and got out his wooden pipe he lit up as the students talked, igniting the tobacco inside, using his teeth to old the pipe in place while he used his hand to maneuver the lighter. "You're quite a bunch of characters. Full of talent and life. It will be very interesting to see you grow, and I look forward to going on many missions with you three. Speaking of missions, ours today is about to begin." He said, with a smile. "We are performing a A-rank mission, a little unusual for a team of our caliber. But it's actually really a duty specified for me, due to my previous position as Hokage, we are to depart to the Land of Storm, and meet up with the highly covert and newly former ninja village there - the Village hidden in rain - Amegakure. You will be my envoy, bodyguards, really." He began explaining. "We'll mostly face bandits, and we'll have backup from a chunnin-squad from Amegakure, so we should be fine without facing any real danger." He explained.

"However, a new ninja village comes with a conflict for all ninja villages, as it can mess with the rather delicate balance we have cultivated since the Winter, which is why it's so important that we go there first, to make new allies and to inform them we will lend them our aid with anything they need, in a hope to scare off Kumogakure and Sunagakure from pursuing military action against the small village. Do you understand?" He asked.

"In other words, we are a diplomatic envoy, except we're not escorting a nobleman, only an old man." Kishimoto joked, with a scoff, trying to take the rather serious situation lightly, to instill some kind of confidence in the genin. "The Rain shinobi are expecting us to arrive at their borders by nightfall, so we had best get a move on, I'm not quite as fast as I once was. You should go home and gather supplies worthy of a couple of days of travel, we have no intel about the exact location of the Hidden Village." He said, sitting down calmly, puffing his pipe.



@Hillan Which was my issue. Making him a jack of all trades, while I see the point you're making, also makes certain people obsolete. So, the only thing to do is establish that, while he is a medical nin, he's far inferior to an actual medical nin that like.. trains all day to do medical type shit. He just knows mystical palm, but probably had to train other shit too, and therefore his knowledge on it is.. well, less good than it could be?


He is not a Medical expert, no. Nor is he a Ninjutsu or Taijutsu specialist, despite using primarily ninjutsu, and can punch people in the face pretty hard thanks to CES. Jack of all trades, master of none, that whole bit.

@Hillan Which would also make medical nin characters obsolete, don't you think? We do have a medic. He's even in your team.

Also, you are the one that said not to compare characters to canon I'd also argue that just knowing mystical palm doesn't make you a medical nin whatsoever. There are a lot of medical jutsu, so calling him a medical nin is quite stupid imho.


O shit. we do have one. Lel.

Knowing the mystic palm and CES, makes you a medical nin, else you wouldn't have the apptitude for either of those. I did forgo some of the more basic / less iconic medical shit, in favor of ice techs to give Reisai more of his jack-of-all trades.

@Hillan The point is that he's basically a medical nin that can function as a combat nin. That doesn't seem strange to you, that you can fill two roles perfectly at once?

<Snipped quote by pkken>

You are completely out matched in the sense that we are fighting 9 vs. 4. Let's just say that the hokage wouldn't be bothered by this number, but the 3 of you students probably will feel bothered by this number.

Also, they are stronger than you. They're a mixture of jonin and chunin.


Sakura, Hashirama and Tsunade were all S-rank shinobi, while medics. Shizune was an A-rank, perfectly capable of fighting, so was Kabuto.

Naruto isn't an MMO. Healer does not exclude you from DPSing. Reisai's a supportive fighter, though, as his techs and style of using them lends itself it help his team as opposed to go all solo. Mystic palm is his only A-rank, there was a reason I didn't give him some gigantic avalanche jutsu. Also, we don't have a medic yet.

So, for fitting two roles perfectly at once - there's just one role, and that's that of the medical shinobi, whom are, for all accounts within canon, still capable fighters. They would have to be.

@Hillan Preferably you remove mystical healing palm, lol, considering it's a technique that is supposedly really hard to learn for any random ass ninja that doesn't have superb chakra control. If anyone can learn it that kinda removes the need for 'real' medical nin, innit?


I mean, he is a real medical ninja, wat. He's got CES. Chakra control's on deck, homie.

Bro, like I said— its slang (really contemporary and popular slang, at that). I don’t know how you deduced that there is a user called “shade” or anything.


Neither do I, but it is probably the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Thanks.

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