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2 yrs ago
Current A Perpetual Motion Engine of Anxiety and Self-Loathing

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So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

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A D R I A N N A D A H L
A D R I A N N A D A H L
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"No. I didn't 'Fail school', I rejected school, went out and made money, created my own rampaging juggernaut of a company and then came back here after I got tired of winning. Difference."
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Adrianna "AD" or "Adie" Dahl
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June7th,1998 | 25 | Caucasian
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Single | Female | Heterosexual
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Sacramento | California | America

P H Y S I C A L P R O F I L E
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M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S
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N O T E S
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S T U D E N T S Y N O P S I S
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A child prodigy in the fields of science, technology and engineering, Adrianna had a lot of early interest from CalTech, University of California-Berkeley and Stanford, but chose to drop out early and get into the workforce, uprooting herself at a young age and jumping on the I-80 across the Alfred Zampa Memorial Bridge to San Francisco, in order to make an early jump and pave her own golden path through Silicon Valley.

Within five years she'd gone from freelance coder, to programmer, to creating her own company.

Three years later it was one of the fastest risers on the Fortune 500 list for three years in a row.

Then documentation leaked about financial donations. To numerous hyperhuman causes. Adie found herself in the public spotlight of more scrutiny than she could handle. Shareholders asking questions, board members SPECIFICALLY TRYING NOT to ask questions... and then it was gone.

A direct link to her hyperhuman abilities. The public sentiment that she was somehow a "cheat" in the field of business and competition. The public sentiment and fears of hyperhumans at large thrown on her back. The board forced her out of her multi-billion dollar company with a paltry ten million dollars.

Reading resentment in the region, and repeated death threats she chose against starting from scratch with the full transparency of her hyperhuman status, and instead picked up her life and moved to where she knew she'd be welcome.

A school where she'd been donating millions for years.

A B I L I T I E S, L I M I T A T I O N S, & W E A K N E S S E S

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H Y P E R H U M A N A B I L I T Y || T E C H N O P A T H
__PRIMARY CLASSIFICATION ||Exoteric
__SECONDARY CLASSIFICATION ||Electromagnetic

Adie can communicate directly with technology and can even directly read electrical impulses through non-organic machinery. Her ability to communicate with machinery includes, but is not limited to, any and all machine based languages and coding.

As such she is a natural master of technology, both software and hardware alike.

L I M I T A T I O N S ||

She does need to be in close enough confines with the machinery to interface.

She has created machinery and devices (such as bluetooth headset - and the more subtle implants she's been working on) to enable her to interface more directly with certain devices that may lack greater network capabilities where interaction would otherwise seem to be impossible.

Without these devices however, she can "hear" electrical impulses from those kinds of machines but lacks a "voice" to send them commands.

For example, if she were on the other side of a door, with no clear line of sight she could potentially "hear" someone's mobile phone signal inside, their digital watch, a pacemaker... but without bringing means to interface would not in and of herself be able to interact with those devices.

W E A K N E S S E S ||

Whilst setting the firewalls herself, her devices would not necessarily be invulnerable to evolving A.I.-driven viruses or malware that can change and attack in versatile ways beyond her ability to counter.
She's still very much (hyper)human.

Ego. Adrianna knows her own capabilities, she has a very low tolerance for condescension, an almost equally short patience for people who "can't keep up" and can be seen by "fragile" people as "arrogant".

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P E R S O N A L P R O M P T S
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Y O U A W A K E I N T H E D E A D O F N I G H T, W H A T W O K E Y O U?

I don't know. Regret? Anger at letting a bunch of barely ambulatory, talentless suit-and-ties take the multi-billion dollar thing I built away from me? What kind of questions are these?

A D I S H E V E L E D S T R A N G E R A P P R O A C H E S Y O U A S K I N G F O R H E L P, H O W D O Y O U R E S P O N D?

I would direct him to the on-island care facility I helped have built. I think it's located somewhere near where the ferry docks? Or maybe by the Alumni village on one of the other islands? I don't know. I didn't come over when it opened. It would have been too much attention. Not that that matters now...

A N I N T R U D E R A L A R M H A S B E E N S E T O F F O N C A M P U S, H O W D O Y O U R E A C T?

Well, first I guess I'd ask what precise sensor triggered the alarm, then I'd determine threat level by dialoguing directly with that camera or motion detector. I'd liaise with surrounding sensors in a convergent pattern, so that I'd immediately be aware of if the situation is getting worse and in what direction or fashion it may have happened to spread... Then I'd-- wait..? Is this what you want?

Oh, ah... I'd stay safe and ensure the safety of my... fellow classmates... I guess...


D E T A I L E D A P P E A R A N C E
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Adrianna is a short blonde with an expansive wardrobe. She still has a wide array of "executiveware", as well as formalware for those occasions, but is never more comfortable/productive than when shes in trackpants and a t-shirt, pounding some form of energy drink, with her hair in a tussled mess, but thrown up and out of her eyes with a singular hairtie.

She has destroyed almost all photographic evidence of these moments, particularly in her teen years.


P E R S O N A L I T Y
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Adrianna does not suffer fools.

Unfortunately "fools" happen to be everyone and anyone who condescends to her, as well as everyone who can't keep pace with her intelligence.

So she can't suffer many people.

To these people she can be brittle and curt.

She will be making an effort to be more sociable with people in the future, though.

Just don't expect it all to change overnight.

She also has a tendency to be "take charge" to the point of being viewed as "controlling" if its in an area she feels she knows she's best suited for.


S K I L L S & T A L E N T S
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S K I L L || I N V E N T I O N / I N N O V A T I O N

Whilst Adie does not view herself as particularly creative conceptually, she is incredibly adept at instinctively finding practical inventive engineered solutions to fill known needs or wants.

This means whilst she might not be the best at recognizing areas which could need or use innovation, once she does she almost intuitively knows how to resolve it effectively.

Separate from her company she also held numerous patents, prior to its creation, which occasionally trickle in some further income.

T A L E N T || W R I T I N G

Adie has scripted a dozen episodes of the cancelled television series 'Firefly' which will never see the light of day, as they sit on her personal computer under heavy encryption.

She is convinced they are not good.

She has also written episodes of 'Star Trek' in its various incarnations, ranging from TOS, TNG, DS9 and Voyager. As well as an angry anonymous letter to the Producers of Discovery claiming that it's "Not Trek".

She also has written a few 'Quantum Leap's and has a surprising attraction to Scott Bakula despite the clear age difference.

If anyone claims any of this she will deny it. If anyone unearths the scripts, she may kill that person and herself.


S U P P O R T I N G C A S T
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"All the shitty men in our industry? Are you sure you can't wait this out and come back in a year or two? I mean how long could they see this 'Hyperhuman' thing as being an issue?"
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B O U M A N, A L E X I S || F R I E N D / C O L L E A G U E
B O U M A N, A L E X I S || F R I E N D / C O L L E A G U E
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Adie met Alexis when both were invited as speakers at a "Women in STEM" seminar. Being in non-competitive fields, the two exchanged details and used each other as sounding boards for approaching the trials and tribulations that came with their fast paced lives.

Due to Adie's ostracization, Alexis has had to keep her distance, but remains probably her closest confidante and friend.

Adie is both relieved and frustrated that her friend doesn't seem to grasp the cause for the negative public sentiment towards Hyperhumans, nor the severity.











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"So'd these people take my little girl's hands? Take her spine? Well it'd seem to me, 'Dri, that all that's left is to get back to work and figure out how to make sure men like that never do it again."
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D A H L, M I C H A E L || F A T H E R
D A H L, M I C H A E L || F A T H E R
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Michael considers himself truly blessed.

The Foreman of his own construction crew in Sacramento, Michael Dahl achieved the dream. Married his college sweetheart, built his own thriving business on his own back comprised of good people and honest work, and some great kids, including a fantastic daughter who has the strength and capability to do whatever she wants in this world.

Michael instilled the drive in Adie, and is more than just her formative male role model. Having seen how opportunistic types can swoop in and take everything she built the first time, she's beginning to realise that she built too big, too grand too fast, and the merits of slower growth and the trust that gets built along the way.

One of her first major purchases, Adie bought her mother and father a massive luxury home out in the Granite Bay enclave, and despite having more than enough nestled away for early retirement, he continues to go in to work every day.








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"It's Canada, so remember to pack warm! Oh, and don't forget, photos everyday, I'm going to be all over your 'Gram! Do they still say 'the Gram', Adie?"
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D A H L, S A N D R A || M O T H E R
D A H L, S A N D R A || M O T H E R
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Sandy is beyond excited for her little girl to be picking up the missed opportunity she feels she had by-passing college the first time.

She is a doting mother and loving wife. She keeps the family together, which is not an easy feat considering how incommunicative the kids can be amongst themselves.

She's also where her hypergene came from, with how powers being mild magnokinesis, with some electro sensitivity (electroreception).

Sandy can't wait to hear how Adie's doing at college and all the friends she's made. Even if she's resigned to the fact that she probably won't follow in her mother's footsteps and join the cheerleading squad.


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R E L A T I O N S H I P S H E E T
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NEUTRAL || FRIENDS || BEST FRIENDS || § TENSE § || CRUSH || ENEMIES
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"Quote about Relationship."?? RELATIONSHIP ??▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅
S U R N A M E, G I V E N || R E L A T I O N S H I P
S U R N A M E, G I V E N || R E L A T I O N S H I P
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Silence was absolute in Paisley's History class.

The rail thin man walked up and down the rows of desks. The tension in the room as always, was palpable. And his decision to teach from a mobile position, never static at the head of the class, only exacerbated things.

After a term on the French Revolution, this education-bloc had turned to the American Revolution.

If the Butler didn't pull him out of this school, the next revolution would see one of Paisley's or Banjo's heads on a spike...

A familiar flicking sound, resulted in hushed shuffling as every student's head turned around to see which it was today. The unspoken tension in the room heightened even further, Banjo knew what it was, before he even looked.

Paisley lifted the lighter, and today it was the cigar.

Banjo turned back to his desk, and internally psyched himself up.

He stood up.

"Sit down." The thin man's voice barely raised above a hoarse whisper.

This wasn't what he wanted. But good. Fuck what this dessicated skeleton wanted. Banjo thought to himself.

The smirk crossed his face. "Y'know what... I'm never going to America, so why the fuck do I give a shit if they had a revolution?"

Paisley's face held the same pallor it always had in times like this. The same it always would.

Banjo's held defiance.

In the face of the inevitable, which both knew was coming.

Location: Pacific Royal Collegiate & University - Dundas Islands, Pacific Ocean
The Homecoming Trials: # 1.70 Tucker, Talk and Tribulations

Interaction(s): Luce - @Roman, Calliope - @PatientBean, Cassander - @Lord Wraith, Rory - @webboysurf
Previously: 'Most People I Know (Think That I'm Crazy)'

The panic reached a boiling point and her stomach turned; desperately, she fumbled herself away from the vicinity of the tent and towards the edge of the pitching area, clutching a hand over her mouth.
She made it twenty or so paces before collapsing to her knees in the most unkempt patch of grass in proximity - and then, in a most ungracious manner, spewing up her guts.


Banjo pulled up just before reaching the girl as she irrigated the lawn with the contents of her stomach.

"Well, yeah. This is all in keeping with how today's gone..." He muttered aloud.

He wasn't exactly sure what to do or how to handle himself.

"Look I-- Well, try not to chalk this up to an unwillingness to help, I mean I'd hold your hair for you, but there's not much there for me to-- nope, that won't work. I'd only pull it..." Moving his hands in the air, trying to figure out what he could possibly do.

She vomited again.

"Well, yeah, now you say that I don't think I've ever heard anyone describe both my interpersonal skills and my luck quite so eloquently..." He deadpanned over the retching girl.

Calliope filed in behind him, as did some new older student who introduced herself as another student rep. Banjo swiftly cast her name to the pile of forgotten names in the deepest darkest recesses of his mind.

She was helping the blonde girl though, so Banjo assumed his responsibilities here were through.

Tad called out to try to task him with some garbage or other, as if he had any pull to make demands, and Banjo let him know about it... before deciding unilaterally to ask Calliope if she'd want to help getting everyone for the food Tad had prepared. Because fuck Tad.

She held his hand again and his heart damn near leapt out of his chest, before he cursed himself and tried to keep himself cool. He subtly tried to check his arm as it swung through with hers, almost certain that she'd set every hair on it standing on end. She was electric. Once again he found himself cursing that they were using this time to go find others.

They gathered everyone up, and Jim took the opportunity and grand stage to make an appearance.

Blah-blah-blah Tad. Blah-blah-blah Team. Folksy repartee and...

Wait... a 'Team Swap'. People can choose to..?

Banjo's mind raced as he thought how this might impact him. This clusterfuck of a unit, he could just about see everyone and anyone looking for the exits. The only one here he actually seemed to get on well with was Calli--

Oh shit... If he'd noticed, she probably had too. And she seemed exactly the kind of hard working go-getter who would be out to look for the best possible situation.

But the hand-holding, and the checking me out, and the stuff she said...

Suddenly he felt like venting the contents of his own stomach right next to the other blonde girl.

"Banjo." Little Banjo called out from the depths of his shorts. "I don't give a fuck what you do. But you need to fix this shit NOW."

Then Jim continued Blah-bla-blah weather, blah-blah-blah safety and concern for your life or whatever.

But back to the important shit. Banjo had hours to try and turn this shit around. Make some actual human connections with people that weren't Calliope.

After Jim finished his speech before his captive audience, they all filtered out, grabbed their food and sat around the campfire. No doubt deep in contemplation about how chaotic the day had been and the news of a potential way out that Jim had just laid on them. Banjo sat down with his full plate next to Calliope, his mind still racing a mile a minute.

"So, what are everyone's thoughts on this team swap? I'll be the first to admit I had considered that possibility back at the campus. Now, I don't know. Hard to say if I think this team will flop or not on day 1. We didn't get off on the right foot, so maybe we can try to fix that now? I'm Calliope. My power is ice manipulation." She opened the floor to others.


She'd laid her cards on the table, and he wanted to kiss her. For a lot of reasons. But right now, if for no other reason than because she'd actually gotten the ball rolling on an actual dialogue. No way they would have been as open to discussion if it came from him.

"That's cool," Sparky McGee chimed in, and Banjo felt exhilirated. No way that bloke opens his mouth if it was my suggestion! This is it. This is how you turn this shit around... now pay attention.

"Everyone wants the chance to make a good first impression. There's an appeal to the swap in that alone. But it's not a simple reset," Cass paused.

"The adage of 'the grass is green where you water it' applies. We can stay on Blackjack, make the best of our situation and enjoy our time at Pacific Royal."

The smoke of the fire suddenly blew in his face causing Cass to cough before continuing.

"Or we give up on Blackjack and move to Eclipse or Firebird, either continuing with the same attitude or making the best of a new situation. There's no wrong answer and there's no right answer. It's Schrödinger's cat, whether it's alive or dead is dependent on your outlook." He had been talking too long, it was probably the most any of them had heard him speak.

Cass sheepishly rubbed the back of his head before holding a palm out. The familial sparks emitted from his hand before swirling together to become a small, glowing orb.


Banjo watched as the glow grew, shining up his raised long sleeves. He watched and recognised something. On the boy's arms. His mind raced on.

"According to Professor Roth and Dr. Lehrer, they call it volatile force manipulation." Cass mused before tossing it skyward, the orb exploding into fireworks.

"I'm not great at controlling it as I'm sure most of you have seen."


As he tossed the orb, Banjo caught a full glimpse of the markings on his arms. He knew exactly what they were. He'd seen them himself when he was younger. They were a part of him. But scars don't heal as completely for most others, regardless how much time passes.

Cigarette burns. Maybe a cigar or lighter burn there too. He only had a glimpse though. Definitely cigarettes.

He thought about what he knew about this kid. Quiet anxiety. Immediately overprotective of the girls. The anxiety. He'd seen it a hundred times before. It was a gamble... but Banjo felt it was at least a pretty good bet. And he wasn't pissing this away without a roll of the dice.

Banjo spoke up. "Uhh... My names Banjo." He turned to look at Rory. "I uhh... know the official school documentation says 'Andrew Olyphant'. That's not my name. Only name I've ever known is Banjo. But they needed two names on the paperwork, and, well... yeah."

Oh, this is just going swimmingly, dickhead. Sack up. Before you put these jokers to asleep.

"Anyway... I've kind of always viewed my powers as 'something I can do' more than 'who I am', so maybe we can all bounce around and throw in something about ourselves as we go. Y'know, something a bit more substantial than 'I like Pez'. There's twelve of us here, maybe someone else here'll have it in common and we might actually see each other as people or somethin', or whatever."

"So, yeah. I'm Banjo, and I metaboli--" He turned and looked at Rory and Trevor and considered his audience. "I uhh-- eat sunlight and warmth, and my body takes it and makes me stronger, faster, helps me think a bit clearer, basically all 'round a bit better." He turned and looked at Sparky McGee, never flinching for a moment, staring at him in the face - straight down the barrel. "--And I've never known my parents. I grew up in orphanages and care facilities and bounced around schools for the vast majority of my life. In fact, I bounced around so much, I'm not exactly sure WHERE in Australia I'm from, or... I guess... my parents were from, because I've been pretty much all over. Or whatever. So who's got next?"

Well... let's see how that goes down.

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I mean... I WANTED to pay attention... but there's just SO MUCH good stuff on TV...
@Hound55, hey wait a second. You have a kid, why are you asking me?


Wife said she's not going through nine and a half months of that again just to show me, and that I should have been paying attention the first time...
<Snipped quote by Hound55>



When a maaaan, loves a woman!


<Snipped quote by Hellion>

Let me know if you have any questions!


Where do babies come from?
Well, with the deadline for new acceptances rapidly approaching, figured I might take the opportunity to kick off my own little one-man mutual appreciation society post for the stuff we've got on paper for the first 60+ posts over the last couple of months...

First off, kudos to @Lord Wraith for all of the work over the... well... years, putting this thing together and then maintaining it.

A lesser man would undoubtedly have this place broken, with fractured coding and grammatical speling eras and in a horrible state of disrepair.[/b]

@Roman always puts together quality stuff, and I'm looking forward to that thing you mentioned you're putting together with Wraith who... hey, how has he already got two mentions? Anyway... the thing that you mentioned earlier. Luce has a quality platform CS, which has me really curious to see what way things start to turn as the game further develops down it's plotline with Trials meeting trauma.

@Lord Wraith... Aww how the Hell? Three references??? This is what I get for starting at the top of the character tab and working my way down... Quality work so far with Cass, and the absolute best thing that you can say is that he has a clear, distinctive character which he hasn't strayed from as he traverses this new school environment after finally finding a home to call his own. Now you've had your three. Stay put and stop trickling into other's complimentary notes...

@Tackytaff, great work on establishing MaKenna's disinterest and manipulative streak. A great story of someone who found their happy and had it torn from them by tragic circumstances and has now been thrust into less-than-desirable circumstances. Another one I'm really curious to see how they handle the impending trials.

@Kuro, Haleigh's been a breath of fresh air as a character who fights off the disappointment in her circumstances to keep moving forward to work on herself and find a better way to be. Whilst proving herself as someone willing to sacrifice self and convenience for the benefit of those around her. She has a whole "it takes strength to make that decision, whilst everyone around her only sees the chair and views it as weakness" thing going, which is cool.

@PatientBean, d'awww, PatientBean... It has been great working through the whole Callijo thing that's been a throughline for a number of pages (and even subtly alluded to prior to that), even if Banjo can't recognise when he's on a good thing and tries to drag others into it... You've played her pitch perfect throughout and done the difficult thing in maintaining that balance and rhythm in character in a complementary fashion whilst next to one whose nature sways between 'erratic' and 'outright chaotic' at the best of times.

@Mao Mao, the other one playing a "distant" foreign exchange student... albeit one who ironically has a criminal history whilst being less felonious in nature than mine... The Trials are coming, and I think that's when we're going to see some of Inigo's backstory with his family really come into the fore...

@Zoldyck, think this might be the first game we've both been in at the same time. It's been good talking and such. Katja seems a great character and whilst she got bounced around a fair bit early, like a few characters, I'm looking forward to seeing how things develop over time as she finds her place amongst these twelve disparate youngsters, mostly raging against their situation. I think you've been doing good work, despite the jostling she's copped, and integrated it into how she's handling things very well.

@Jarl Coolgruuf, Trevor's hilarious. Which is a trait I always love and appreciate. Loving the early work with his dynamic with Rory, and I'm hoping it bears out with the pair being a major tentpole within the game. Our characters have yet to interact IC-ly, but you've created a character who can easily bounce off of anyone in his own style, from what I've seen.

@Hound55, ah... that prick. Yes, I really have been going straight down the character tab...

@webboysurf, makes sense that yours and the above's are back to back. You've both done a bang up job adding levity and humour to a corner of the game. Rory's introspection is magnificent, and the family dynamic of Rory should be a really appreciated distinctive character point down the line as the game grows and swells beyond the Trials into slice-of-life stuff. I really could see the game becoming the character arc of "Rory's hero's story" in some respects.

@psych0pomp, Trace is hilarious, caustic and fantastic. Kudos. The game wouldn't be the same without their addition, and you've done a fantastic job with every explosive post by them. Even beyond being a foil for my own character, Trace is as entertaining a component of this game as exists, and as you can attest I genuinely can't tell if you'll drop a post that is on fire, or one that will stoke uncontrollable flames... One thing's for sure, Trace will likely have to draw on fresh eyebrows at some point...

Anyway... bang up job, guys, gals, gulls, and gills... We've made a Hell of a start, and I'm looking forward to seeing how we push forward with the new folk!

P.S. Also... *SIGHS* Thank you @Lord Wraith for the Lore... which requires a whole separate thanks again, apparently...

Oh, and P.P.S. All the best @Hillan, I hope everything settles enough that you're able to have another crack again in good time.
Post works best with music link...


"Principal's office. One for pickup." The Butler uttered with a monotony that suggested it was far from the first time he'd uttered those words.

The receptionist pointed up a staircase without raising her head from her work.

The Butler ascended the staircase and rounded the corner towards the office of the Headmaster.

"Jesus... Fucking... Christ..." He uttered, looking at Banjo sitting in a chair just outside the door.



"Alright, now before you crack the shits, remember what I always say..."

The Butler facepalmed and pinched the bridge of his nose to ease the rising tension.

Banjo was sitting in his chair in a Drama club issue loin cloth, with no shirt, a Christmas twig-wreath perched on his head, and streaks of dried beetroot juice down his face, side and wrists.

"...Let He who is without sin cast the first stone."

The librarian passed the pair with a baffled look on her face. Banjo noticed her and tipped his wreath. "Oh... Milady."
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The Butler drove in silence, until the backed up questions were just too much.

"H--Hoooow? Whyyyy? I don't-- I don't understand."

"Yes, I've been told I work in mysterious ways..."

"Knock it off... and get that shit off your head!" The Butler snatched the twig-wreath and flung it out the driver's side window as they screeched around a hard left corner.

"So where we going now?"

"Perth. I need time to find another bloody school for you, now... Expelled! Are you bloody jokin' me?!"

"Well, I think we were about due for me to be the reason I got pulled out of a school..."

The Butler glared at him. "Oh no! You're not gettin' any bloody sympathy out of me today! Nice bloody try, matey! They were gonna have you up on charges of bloody sacrilege!"

"They can't." Banjo replied quietly.

"Well, I hate to inform you, but yes they bloody can..! You--"

"Criminal Law Consolidation Act of '35, section 137. Sacrilege requires breakage. Either break and enter, break through exit or damage or destruction of property. The ledge I set myself up to stand on? I'd rigged it to support it's own weight from the whole structure, I used elastic bands rather than nails. The cross itself wasn't damaged in any way. I looked it up beforehand."

"Well how about if you're planning on doing a prank which requires you to do your own legal research on the definition of 'Sacrilege' you try and come up with another bloody idea? Why the Hell can't you just pull some kind of normal bloody prank, put a thumbtack on your teacher's seat, set off a bloody stink bomb or something? The Hell's the matter with you? Do we need to get your head read or something?"

"Fuck that. Bunch of hypocrites. You know Priests at that school had been under heat for a dozen sexual offences over the past five years right? They just shuffle 'em on and cycle in a new pervert."

"So your solution was to strap yourself to the cross on top of the school chapel decked out like THAT overlooking the School Assembly. You're lucky they didn't leave you up there for the whole assembly!"

"They weren't going to do that..."

"Only because you'd tapped into the school's speakers and were wired for sound!"

"Exactly. I had a plan. Don't make out like I didn't."

The Butler sat in quiet contemplation of everything that was said as they motored through the suburban sprawl. Perth was thousands of kilometres away. They were in for a long drive, whilst he planned their next moves.

"Alright. But I don't buy that as a reason for a second. You just love the bloody attention." He thought for a few seconds. "That or you really are a headcase..."

"I'm a fisher of men." Smirked Banjo with a shrug. "Men and laughs..."
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Banjo sat with his legs crossed upon a desk, rocked back with a microphone in his hand.

"Knox Grammar, it's 9:25 and you are listening to 'Banjo in the morning', my fellow Zoo Crew Drive-time team member Principal Neely couldn't make it in this morning, and we're sending him out well wishes and hope that he feels better... wherever he is..."

Behind him, shouting through a locked door an angry bespectacled man is yelling and gesturing at the student filling the school's airwaves.

"Banjo! BANJO! I mean it, open this door right now!"

"The Tuck Shop Thunders will be giving out icy cold cans of Coke, and for those degenerates amongst you, the coked out will be getting cans of ice..."

"Banjo! Banjo, this isn't funny!

"The tuck shop would also like to remind you that this week's special, the beef cheese and bacon pie, will be comprised of the following detention students... Brian Haynes, Malcolm Tucker, Matthew Richardson, and because they're having a run on Matthews at the moment, Matthew Palmer and Matthew Nicholls as well. They'll also be using what little remains from last week's special, the removed tissue from Mr Stevens appendectomy, so get in quick there..."

"Banjo! BANJO! Look, get him out of there... have we got the spare keys yet?"

"...Aaaand Congratulations to the father of the child just delivered in sickbay, 11Cs own David Blake. It's a boy. Mazel. However, since the mother is his English teacher, Ms Krenshaw, any and all information regarding the conception can be handed in to Senior Sargent Prentice at Wahroonga Police Station... and if any camera footage remains, I'm sure that the Senior Video Committee would still be interested, care of their Head Caleb Armitage, they gather once a week on, I believe it's Thursdays, at the AV Club..? Thursdays?
Yes, that sounds about right. But yes, further queries to Caleb, he'll help you out. Probably with renumeration as well if the angles are particularly saucy..."


"BANJO!"

"We'll also be continuing with the "Secret Sound" promotion, but a reminder, the last five callers have guessed 'Principal Neely attempting to get back into the station', just a reminder that answer was WRONG just so we don't have any more callers wasting their guess. The prize being a..." Banjo dangled a set of keys in front of his face. "...4 Series BMW. And if you're thinking 'Wow, Hey Banjo, doesn't Principal Neely have a fancy new BMW that he's been kicking around.' The answer is 'Yes, but it's a slightly different shade of blue.' So I guess he can at least attest to the quality. Perhaps tomorrow when he's feeling better he could even provide a testimonial..."

"Banjo! Stop that! This is not funny, gosh darn it!"

Banjo turned in his seat and raised his eyebrow at the 'Gosh darnit', then shrugged and continued.

"Oh, did you see that! He looked right at me! Yes! There! The keys! You've got them! Give them here!"

"Anyway, we'll be right back after following up on our music guarantee, 'Better Music and More of It', here's The Avalanches with 'Frontier Psychiatrist'..."BANJO!" ...Hoik--"


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"Alright, that one I'll pay... That one was funny." The Butler chuckled as he drove the car onwards.

Banjo chuckled in the passenger seat.

"You're kidding me. He really LEFT YOU, of all people, in the room alone, with his own keys and the door shut, to go to the bathroom..? It's like these bloody dickheads don't even read up on you...
Are they just cashing tuition and coasting?"


"Seems that way."

"Need their bloody heads read..." He laughed warmly, then stopped. Looked across at banjo.

Banjo could feel him looking at him. He knew what this was. There was a Time when, he'd have immediately put it straight on Banjo. "You're mental...", "What kind of nutcase...". That's what this was. The Butler was realising he'd started trying to justify it.

And now was the second guessing. The hesitation. Perhaps it wasn't the teachers who were batshit nuts. Even with his record.

Banjo sighed. And looked out the window as they sped on to the next location.

Location: Pacific Royal Collegiate & University - Dundas Islands, Pacific Ocean
The Homecoming Trials: # 1.63 'Most People I Know (Think That I'm Crazy)'

Interaction(s): Rory - @webboysurf, Calliope - @PatientBean, Trace - @psych0pomp, Luce - @Roman
Previously: Team Bonding - Conflict Resolutions: "Boot meet arse, Arse... Boot."

”Hey, Bro!”

Banjo grunted out a sigh. "Not now. Not fucking now." He'd placed the voice. It was one of the two football friends. He'd earmarked to speak with them later in the night, since he'd pegged them as probably two of the easier people to find a way of getting on with them. Something to be said for 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'. But now problems with other people were spreading like an infection. Dragging more into the middle of his mess. If he could he'd have spoken with this one later.

But the repeating voice told him there wouldn't be much choice in the matter.

”Look man, we need to be trying to get along here. If you need to walk things off, walk it off… but you can’t be talking to people that way, Andy. We’re a team, like it or not… so let’s just try to get along.”

Banjo opened his mouth to respond and...

"With all due respect, you know very little about the situation so maybe just focus on your football throwing and let the grown-ups have a discourse," Calliope said to Rory. "As for you," she addressed Iñigo, "I came over here offering help and you didn't even acknowledge me, let alone how rude you treated Banjo, who also only offered help. A simple 'no we have it' would have sufficed, but as you clearly didn't even know about the lever I'll wait for a 'thank you Banjo' instead. We're supposed to be a team and bonding and stuff and I'll be the first to admit I cringed at that aspect, but at least I am trying. Banjo was trying too, and you essentially spat in his face."

Calliope took a beat to calm down before she went on, acknowledging Haleigh now, "Sorry, Haleigh. I agree that this should not be how things are handled. God, can you even imagine us at this point working as a team if this is how we act with each other on day 1? Sorry, Rory, about my grown-up comment. You meant well."

Unbelieveable. Beat-for-beat it was perfect. SHE was perfect. Exactly what he would have said... albeit with a few less four-letter word choices. He'd never felt this... understood. He didn't know it was possible for someone to "get" him so completely in only a few short hours. Hell, he wouldn't have dared believe it possible after years.

A few short hours. This was insane. How he felt was insane. No part of this made sense with how the world usually worked.

She walked over to Banjo, putting her hand on his in an attempt to get him to calm down. "You were right to suggest talking to the others. This was a misstep. That's all."

Maybe he hadn't fucked it all up. How he hadn't fucked it all up was baffling, all the missteps, the explosive responses. He wasn't calm right now, but it wasn't from anger.

He ran his fingertips across her hand, caressing it, and gave a warm smile. He'd settle for that now. After all, people were staring. Wait-- people were staring?

“Calliope, pet, you have got to tell me how managed to take Deliverance’s balls and make some snazzy jewelry out of them. I mean that’s what had to have happened here. Never seen a dog bark so hard only to back down the moment a pretty face interrupts. He had to have been snipped.” They made a pair of scissors with their fingers and pantomimed the action. “And here my money was on Rory beatin’ his ass. I mean, it’s the difference between a show dog and a mutt you find in the gutter—fleas and all. For some blokes with powers and machismo, you sure as hell love to be cucked. Bet you fuck as fast as you fight—which is not at all.” Trace laughed.

He felt naked and exposed, like he'd just been stung.

He'd forgotten his banter back-and-forth with Trace because he'd been entirely absorbed in... whatever the Hell he was just feeling right then. He tried to run his mind back through the list of jokes he'd made himself to stick it to Trace but nothing was coming to mind, because Trace had hit him with such a precision blow, he needed to gather.

His smirk was a mask and he hid behind it, people assumed something was coming when they'd see it and it bought some time. Now what was that one about-- ah yeah...

"Well, well... Trace. I thought someone had to play a haunted video cassette for you to show up, but here you are. I guess it was this weather that brought you out... only had to re-apply the SPF-100 twice with this much cloud cover, eh?" Weak. It was a start... but weak.

Ugh. He didn't even want to be doing this. It was just. Going through the motions. He hoped Calliope hadn't sensed his reaction to the "Not at All" part. How the fuck was he going to broach that issue with her now? How would she take that? "Yeah, you know what the cryptkeeper said before about not fucking... well, yeah it turns out I am a virgin. Yeah, it turns out most private boarding schools are single sex, occasionally those types of schools will bus girls in for formal events, dance classes and that kind of thing, but my less than sterling behavioural record meant they were loathe to let me off the leash. Guess they were worried I'd get poor sweet Mary Sue from the local Catholic girls school knocked up before graduation. So hey, here I am... a lameass seventeen year old virgin who... why the fuck are you thinking this..? Fuck you, Trace! Fuck ME over like this?!?! Let 'em fucking have it!"

"You've kind of put me in a fucking spot, with this banter, haven't ya? Because there's no fucking way for me to respond without punching down and being the arsehole. And every joke I could fucking hit would take a backseat to the one that God, the fates, Provenance, call-it-what-you-fucking-will played on you already, doesn't it? Because ya jus--"

He realised the laughter in his voice was gone. He wasn't poking back and forth anymore. He was swinging to hurt. Because he was hurt. And if he knew it, he was pretty damn sure Trace had just figured it out as well, even if the collection of Seppos and Canucks standing in attendance hadn't caught on because banter ain't their game.

Standing in attendance? Wait, what was the other thing Trace said? Before that... Rory? The football bloke.

These people are standing and staring cos they all thought you were going to throw down with that guy because, what, he doesn't want people shittalking?

What kind of fucking crazy animal mentalcase do they think you are?

The laughter came back into his voice. "Because ya just-- You'll have to forgive Trace here. Y'see Trace suffers from a syndrome my people call... 'Bein' a whingin' Pommy bastard.'" It was weak, he didn't give a shit. He needed to kill this bullshit and get the fuck out. Go get a 'win' somewhere.

He looked through the crowd. Sparky McGee standing with some adult... maybe a teacher? Fuck no. That'd be more of the same.

Big Saffa sheila? Nope. Trace probably poisoned that well.

The football friends? Calliope didn't seem to care for them too much.

The broad with the ring. On her phone. Nah. Too standoffish.

The one who answered his question about who that pill Tad was, when Sparky McGee was up his own arse? That'll work. She looked pretty jittery. And he recognised abandonment.

"You're right. A misstep. Just gotta try again with the right person. And I reckon there's someone who'd welcome the effort."

"Don't know what the Hell that was just now with Trace, He tried to cover his tracks in a half-arsed way after fleeing the scene in a pissweak fashion. "But it looks like someone over there's been ditched. You know her name?" He asked Calliope.

He made his way over to the nervous blonde girl. Daring to hope that Calliope might still follow.

What a fucking shambles this has been. Crazy.

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