Ranbu no Izayoi
Sakura flowers blowing in the breeze. A slight chill in the air as the sun set. The sky a clear blue without a single cloud to block the sun. It had been one of the many fantasies she had dreamed about when she thought about expressing her true feelings for Izayoi, the person she loved. She imagined her standing there in her pristine and masterfully crafted armor with a faint smile. Instead, Ciradyl was standing in her blood-stained dress and Izayoi was covered in the grime of battle.
Delicate hands pulled and twisted the edge of her dress as she struggled to find the right words to start the conversation that needed to be had. No more secrets. That much was necessary…no…required. Perhaps it was best to address what Hien said.
“I know it will likely take the approval of everyone but I would like to formally join you on your journey, if you would have me.” She had defaulted to the comfortable eloquent tone she had first greeted the Kirins with.
Ciradyl’s presence now that Hien was assuming full control of the resistance would only hinder operations going forward. After all, Ciradyl knew nothing about waging a war. Everything leading up to now was about survival, nothing else. The right move was to remove herself from the situation. There was also the issue of Renzo, but his fate she had left to Chisaki. One last loose end to close.
"I am not opposed to this, but my bias is evident and the decision is not up to myself alone." Izayoi said, considering. Only Arton and Galahad had presented any sort of strong reaction to the entire matter, but they were outvoted should they choose to speak up.
"Regardless, you already know the one stipulation I have. I am in agreement with the dragoon: do not try something like this again." She said firmly, looking Ciradyl dead in the eyes.
"With that said, is there anything else you wish to speak of before we all turn in for the night? I imagine you will need to prepare your people for a transition of power."That it would fall upon a group consensus she had expected. Nothing about their party suggested a strict hierarchy but it was clear that Izayoi and Galahad possessed the most influence being hardened veterans. Ciradyl had hoped Izayoi would accept her but it was still nice to be assured. Her softer gaze met Izayoi's but she did her best to express her resolve.
”I understand. I shall not allow such weakness to overcome me again.”. A flash of disappointment at herself appeared in her eyes. It would be difficult to adjust to more casual relationship. There was little chance she would be forgiven a second time
“The preparations had been progressing since I first spoke to the Skaellan agent, Esben, one night. He made me realize between Hien and Chisaki, I would no longer be needed. They have stepped into their roles exactly how I had hoped.” She spoke as if she had been ready for this day for a long time.
The brief pride suddenly fell flat. How much longer would she delay? There would be no chance of moving forward if this wasn't resolved. Ciradyl bit down on her tongue a little.
“Izayoi, there is something I have been keeping from you…” It was now or never.
”I…was in love with you.” She felt her chest tighten the moment the last word left her lips.
Izayoi nodded as Ciradyl explained how prepared she was to commit to this course of action. Though barely two weeks’ time wasn’t much. She started to comment, but stopped as Ciradyl continued further. Izayoi fell silent.
Of all things, she hadn’t quite been expecting this. Considering Izayoi’s upbringing, Ciradyl had been just about her only close female friend in her life. Izayoi had never quite considered there to be any romantic undertone in their association, but perhaps she’d simply not been looking all that closely. Regardless, she was obligated to respond.
"Ciradyl…" Izayoi said slowly, choosing her words carefully.
"It is good that you specified ‘was’. I am a widow of barely half a year and still in mourning. And I hold no attraction to women." This was absolute truth. Izayoi had spent the year in between the end of her apprenticeship and falling into Lord Kaien’s service simply trying to find out what to do with herself. During that time, she’d realized her preferences in this regard for certain.
Those few moments before Izayoi’s reply felt like an eternity and the pressure of waiting was crushing. It was not difficult for Ciradyl to guess what the base of her reply would be, but it was the execution of her rejection she felt anxious for. Regardless of how it cut, she was now ready to accept she had been facing a wall instead of a locked door. A genuine smile came to her lips as the incredible weight was lifted.
”Even if you did, I do not believe it would change anything.”Her smile grew as she said those words.
”I have come to better understand you over these years, more so since your return. The people we are now, no matter the attraction, would not be compatible that way. This I have painfully realized. Instead, I hope we can forge a deeper, different kind of bond as trusted comrades in arms.”Thank the gods Ciradyl was being a mature adult about this. Izayoi wasn’t quite sure what she would have done had the Faye decided to act like a spurned maiden.
"Of course. Perhaps I won’t need to defend you, this time. I imagine one grows tired of that."”It is not so terrible from time to time.”The meeting had made Ciradyl realize something important. It was easy to imagine the worst possible scenarios to the point one was unable to make a move at all. Not everything can be executed perfectly and achieve the optimal outcome. A sly, mischievous grin that Izayoi had only seen before the war with Edren overtook her smile.
”I am eager to see what new exploits I can add to your ballad. I might even be able to write a play.”"So help me, should I ever find your manuscript, I will burn it." Izayoi rolled her eyes in exasperation at the change in tone, half serious at the very least.
"Truly, you’ll ensure I’ll never be able to show my face in public again should I survive this upcoming ordeal."She felt a giggle leave her lips involuntarily at Izayoi’s fierce reply, that at least had not changed all these years. It was cathartic to laugh like that again and she felt the awkwardness that had shrouded their reunion fade. Whether or not she felt similarly, Izayoi was without a doubt her best friend in this vicious, uncertain world of theirs. The levity in her eyes softened. She had been a wife, a mother, and then a widow all in the time she had been gone.
”What was she like? Your child.” Her tone was soft, gentle as was her eyes as she asked such a delicate question. Ciradyl wanted her to know it would be okay not to answer. There may have been plenty in Osprey that would collapse in shock at the idea of the great butcher as mother, but not Ciradyl. How pleasant it would have been to visit and be called
Aunt Ciri.
"Suzume?" Izayoi’s expression softened at the inquiry, a genuine smile running across her mouth, however slight it may be.
"Always so spirited. Filled with energy. Curious, as well. I often had to keep a closer eye on her than I would have liked, lest she fall into the river or agitate an animal." A few more moments passed in silence, with Izayoi reliving memories of the last three years in her mind.
"She was colic as a baby. Isshin had to reassure me that this was perfectly ordinary. Repeatedly. Fortunate that you’ve inured me to high-pitched screams within the theater over the years." She shot Ciri a casual smirk.
Ciradyl had remained quiet as Izayoi spoke about her precious daughter. To see that hardened expression loosen even the slightest amount made her nearly overwhelmed with joy. Whatever irritations she might have had about her going missing for six years vanished. It seemed like her child was a real firebrand just like her mother. A part of her wanted to cry over never being able to see the family that gave her such happiness, but the joy expressed in Izayoi’s eyes prevented her.
”I wished they would have shown a little restraint…” She feigned an exasperated look, then let out a short laugh.
”Who would have guessed that the great Izayoi’s greatest challenge was motherhood? What an amazing young lady. I will remember to ask my parents to thank him next time I offer my prayers.” A warmness carried in her voice along with a hint of longing. It was not because of the love she had confessed earlier, but that she had missed out on such a moment in her life. No, that was only a part of it.
”Who could have guessed that it would be you who started a family first?”"I believe your mother once lamented that I might before you." Izayoi remarked dryly.
"You would have had less of a challenge, I am sure. I hardly remember my birth parents, I had not a clue what I was doing." To say nothing of the fact that she had functionally been raised by a madman obsessed with the sword.
”That certainly sounds like her.” Ciradyl hung her for a moment.
”In theory, you might be right. It sounds like you managed alright and I’m sure Isshin was there to support you. All you had to do was send a letter and I could have helped as well.” She mimicked a hurt expression.
Izayoi rolled her eyes at Ciradyl’s obvious overacting, settling into a comfortable silence with her old friend as the night went on.
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