Location: Infirmary Wing - P.R.C.U. Campus
Take On Me #3.069: It's so hard to be
Interaction(s): N/A
Gil sat on his dorm-room bed, his ass marveling at the stark differences in mattress comfort, his mind marveling at how keenly aware of those differences he could be after only a few days in the infirmary. He was showered and re-dressed and he felt refreshed for it, like he'd shed the skin of the last few days; he might even consider himself in a good mood, despite the lingering bruises and the booted ankle - but his head was a storm, gloomy and thunderous and looming darkly over him. Even despite the good news in the last few hours, the breaking of calamitous waves against the bough of hope, it felt bittersweet. Buoyant ends to tragedies that never should have occurred in the first place. Gil attempted optimism, tried to be grateful that Haven and Lorcán were recovered, each as unharmed as all concerned probably could have hoped for; but there was an inalienable sense that none of this - nothing at all - should have happened at all.
He stared at his phone; the missed calls from Elenora still haunted his lock screen, but beyond that there were just texts. Texts about Lorcán's declining medical status, texts about the discovery of Haven's kidnapping, texts about the aftermath of the Trials. Gil's mind whirled with the compounded events of only the last fortnight. The first fortnight of the new term! It seemed only yesterday they were catching up on the shores of the island, enjoying the last of their summer freedom before the semester began; yet at the same time, that lingering evening felt nearly half a year behind them.
The foundation intruding on their opening ceremony, and their general foreign presence at the university was an early imbalance; the invalidation of degree accreditation that threw so many futures into question; Rory and Haven's reified romance pushing Mei to flee the campus entirely; the entire sabotage of the Trials, pushing Blackjack to the very limits of both their bodies and their psyches, leaving irreversible damage on both; Hyperion's Children being discovered under the academy's nose, and Blackjack's own Pallyx a mere imposter posing as one of them among their ranks; Tad wounded and hospitalised like so many of them; Haven kidnapped from Rory's dorm, ripped from the supposed safety of a lover's embrace; and Lorcán, mortality terrifyingly clarified in a single stroke from an unknown - unknowable - assailant.
Lorcán. He had recovered, thankfully, through some manner of miracle, though not much was understood - or at least, not much was being said - of what happened to allow such a remarkable pivot. Gil wrestled with conflicted feelings; relief, obviously, and an abating sadness adjacent to grief, the anguish of a friend almost lost. But there was also anger there, seeding viscous roots through otherwise pure emotions. Lorcán had been attacked on the north side of the island, from what little Gil had been given and been able to piece together; it was untamed land, far beyond the bounds of the campus and, for that matter, far beyond Lorcán's usual haunts as well. Why was he there at all? The only three witnesses were all as reticent as each other, something oddly impressive for the Firebird girls who'd only arrived after-the-fact, considering the third was the academy's resident dog. Bafflement gave way to frustration and frustration muddled with relief to alchemise into misplaced fury. What was he doing? Days out from the disaster of the Trials and the damage it had caused, and Lorcán had taken a jaunt to an uncharted area of the island, and had suffered dire consequences for it. With Haven's kidnapping it was clear their enemies still lurked among them; had he not considered that caution may have been prudent? That Blackjack, robbed of Tad, would need a new leader, an anchor to rally around and set against their demons?
But no. Lorcán had, again, lived without consequence, his unburdened attitude lacking the tempers of real-world repercussions, and he had narrowly missed a mortal reminder. He'd forced his family, already far too familiar with death, face to face with the reaper once more; Aurora too had been completely unseated, and Blackjack at large felt the ripples. He'd left the team to scramble after Haven. He'd left Gil to pick up the pieces of himself almost completely alone...
...except he hadn't been alone. Calliope and Harper both had visited him, and while he'd rebuffed their apologies and their sincerity, he couldn't deny that the implication - that they'd thought of him at all, both reeling from their own experiences in the Trials - had touched him deep down. To be cared about was an enervating warmth. Elenora's calls, though difficult to face (and indeed, Gil continued to choose not to face them), sparked further fire within him, evidence of remaining connection he hadn't completely snuffed. And then...and then there was Amma, initially melting out of the dark that she seemed to simultaneously inhabit and embody to soothe him in nightmare hours, offer conversation on things he found himself unable to address elsewhere, and then quietly returning on subsequent nights. No promises, no sentimental words or intimate movements; just an implicit understanding, and the stilling of a disquieted mind.
And what of Haven? Traumatised by her own experiences within the sabotaged Trials, she had sought refuge in her fledgling romance with Rory, but even this was not guaranteed safe harbour. More injury, more torment, more shared woe among the team for another comrade-in-arms set upon by evil they neither understood nor knew how to combat. How would she feel safe now? How would any of them?
Everything was different now. A couple of weeks ago he'd been sat on the beach with his compatriots, discussing with no small amount of levity and hope his return to Hollywood after the year was out, listening to the planned futures of his teammates, his friends (did he dare consider?). Such aspirations now felt dashed thoroughly as driftwood against that very same shore. Hollywood was no place for him now, this post-modern Gil, a self that still asked what the self was, but nonetheless knew what the self was not; it was not Gil Galahad, Actor Resurgent. He was tired. He was so, so tired.
He looked at his phone again, navigating to his contacts, beginning to delete old networks. Three names seemed to burn brighter through the OLED display, and these names are the ones his eyes keep returning to, the ones his fingers keep hovering over.
Harper Baxter.
Amma Cahors.
Elenora Baines.
The sun is almost setting by the time he decides upon a name and holds the phone to his ear, half his body rigid in terror that they may not answer, the other half petrified that they might.
The call was picked up; he was greeted from the other end by a questioning utterance of his name, and he paused a moment too long before answering.
"Hi."
"...I'm sorry."
"I need to see you."
"Tonight."