Silver Carrot

Help a newbie write better

@superservo27

This is advice specific to here, but I think that's what you asked for. Plus, it'll help you get better at writing characters in general.

In every post, think about what your character's physical, mental and emotional reaction is to what happened in the posts your replying to. Then write what they think about this, either by showing it through body language or facial expression, or just telling it through a straight-up inner monologue. Then, after that, you write about what your character does and says in response to that.

For larger works, yes, redrafting is important, but I disagree that you usually have to burn everything to the ground. I never do. Then again, I've never been published so maybe that's better advice, but I'll tell you that there is often something of value in the first thing that comes out of your hands.

Basically, write with absolutely no regard for the quality or even basic spelling and grammar of your work. The goal is simply to get a first draft finished. (This can often be the hard part.) Then leave it and come back the next day and fix all the issues that are easily fixed, like spelling, grammar and glaringly bad prose. Then take several days off and come back to it with the mindset of a critic, but DON'T act like the whole thing's worthless. Go through it systematically, note how every paragraph could be improved or changed for the better, how plotholes could be resolved and pacing could be tightened up or fleshed out as appropriate, and make these changes. Do this a few times, a few days apart, and again at the end of the book when you've figured out the aim and theme of the whole book. You'll probably have to change a LOT of the beginning to fit these aims and themes.

♦ A New Era ♦ - A My Hero Academia RP

Kasuke Mina

The group of three left, including Asuka, so Mina looked sideways to JoJo and shrugged as if to say 'me neither', then approached Jett, who was just watching them leave. Her iciness was gone, but neither was she in a good mood. There was a deflated, emotionally dead pai in her eyes and posture, and she spoke in a tired tone of voice. Even her quip lost all it's barbs in her delivery; "Jett, you really need to learn how to understand girls better. Especially proud ones."

After a brief silence between them, Mina put her hand on her hips and looked annoyed. The good old Mina was back, at least partially. "So, are you going to tell us who that was and what your history is, or shall we play a game of twenty questions?"

@Feyblue@Noxx@Aerandir

---

Maeda Hitomi

Hitomi stood with a bemused, slightly concerned face as Tomoe tested if she was asleep or not, and was emitting a very quiet nervous laugh. Before she resolved to stop her from hurting herself any more, Tomoe stopped, and came up to her, before immediately touching her horns. Hitomi blushed and meeped. Her horns had no nerves in them and she couldn't feel anything from them being touched besides slight pressure on her scalp, but it was still embarrassing. One did not simply grab a sheep girl's horns without permission. Even so, Hitomi didn't have the heart to tell her to stop, as the smol girl was having a lot of fun, moving onto her ears and then petting her hair. Hitomi relaxed now. She was used to her hair being petted, and actually liked that the therapeutic effect of petting her hair made so many of her friends happy.

"Yes, my hair has that effect on people," the sheep girl answered in a voice that matched her appearance; sweet, but not unlike a sheep's' 'baa'. "Call me Hitomi. It's very nice to meet you!"

@liferusher

The X-Pendibles

"I'm not sure," Heidi replied to Olinda. "It's quite dense and we'll probably get asked about themes or juxtaposition or something like that. That said, It's not that hard a musical to gather these things from in a single read through."

Turning to Shawn, she bowed her head in thought. Rose Mary had become reclusive and violent, and a bit of a troublemaker. A far cry from the girl she was before. She needed their help. Heidi nodded. "She does need to come with us, yes." Heidi replied.

@pyroman@WildRose

♦ A New Era ♦ - A My Hero Academia RP

Kasuke Mina

Mina watched silently as Jett and the crippled girl he seemed to had a history with reunited with. Mina wasn't sure she should be watching this. It seemed private and personal. But what she was feeling watching this wasn't quite awkwardness. Was in jealousy?...No. Besides, why would it be jealousy? No, this feeling felt stronger and less pleasant than either of those things. It was like an ache. She averted her eyes, staring at the wall and the scenery as she listened. She felt like stepping in, but knew that she's just make things even more chaotic.

What was Painful was Jett's density and inability to take a hint. Mina was also a proud and independent girl. If she has also lost her leg and Jett was saying and doing these things, she'd recognise the good intentions but it would annoy her. She was about to step in whwen Jett actually saved the situation and said something sweet, which Mina's brain acknowledged was a good thing even though the ache had gotten worse. What was wrong with her?

While Haruka, Fumika and Jett were occupied, Mina slid over to Asuka and put her hand out, still facing forward and watching the debacle. "Hello. My name is Kasuke," she calmly and politely greeted.

@Noxx@Aerandir@Feyblue

A Guild Adventure: An RP with Monster Girls! (ENDED)

Eilidh Chiron

Eilidg shook his hand, smiling faintly yet betraying no emotion in her calm demeanour. Her handshake was very strong, yet not bone-crushingly so. As she looked back ahead, she answered. "It is nice to meet you, Neil. And I don't think you are a nobody. Not if you are a part of this Guild. You also seem to be a skilled traveller for your age, and do not look frail or weak either."

A few hours laqter, they reached the guild, and from the voices inside, many of the members who were out when she left on her journey were now returned, and she could meet them and introduce herself properly. They seemed to be discussing important matters, however, so after waving in greeting, Eilidh trotted over to the stores and unloaded her goods, before joining the others, saddle empty. The Centaur listened to what they were saying, before she decided to chip in;

"I bear no ill will towards Dwarves. If they want for the work, they will be given plenty of that, and at a fair pay. If they want for something more sinister, well, at least they'll be within sword's range which is preferable to having an enemy afar."

@PaulHaynek@BCTheEntity

Revenant: A Sci-Fi Adventure (Always Accepting!)

Taleste stretched her back and legs after getting out of the vents. Of all the things that will kill her, improperly warmed up muscles won't be one of them. That done, she unholstered her silenced pistol and took the rear/right flank, often walking backwards as she did so and trusting her ears and her comrades to alert her of action to the front. That's when Amy mentioned she'd seen something, Taleste then turned forwards but still kept her eye on the right flank, with frequent glances over her shoulder.

@Xandrya@Crossfire

♦ A New Era ♦ - A My Hero Academia RP

Kasuke Mina

Mina kept pace and listened to JoJo talk about her quirk 'levelling up', before Jojo then shot off at faster speeds than Mina could keep up with. Even so, Mina quickened her pace (but not to a sprint) and followed behind, the distance between the two widening. 'Huh,' Mina thought to herself. "What a fitting metaphor for her quirk leaving my quirk in the dust."

When she finally caught up with JoJo, she'd collided with another student, noticeably the tall, quiet one with the REALLY impressive quirk. Fumika, her name was, if Mina recalled correctly. There were two other girs with her that Mina had never seen before. Mina circled round them, concerned. "Everybody okay?" she asked.

@Noxx@Feyblue

---

Maeda Hitomi

Hitomi watched Fumika leave, and thought about going after her, but Fumika had no intention of opening up before. She probably just wanted to be alone. But she will open up, in time. Hitomi had a mission now. In the meantime, Hitomi should probably go and collect her stuff from the office where it was moved out of her old room, and take it to her new one, which she was sharing with a Hero Course student! Albeit a first year. Then again, maybe that's normal. Maybe part of their education into being Hero Support was to support a Hero in a school setting; gossip, share problems, listen, be a shoulder to cry on, etc.

---

When Hitomi got to her room, two cute girly suitcases in tow, she saw her roommate rolling around on the soft carpets. She'd look up to see a sheep girl looking over her. The girl's hare was floofy and quite long, and she had noticeable sheep ears and goat horns. She also had a very cute face, very kind eyes, and quite a large bust for her age. She was giggling down at Tomoe's display of cuteness.

@Feyblue@liferusher

A Guild Adventure: An RP with Monster Girls! (ENDED)

Eilidh Chiron

Eilidh was trotting along the dirt track to the west of the guild house, heading east. Her saddle packs were laden with goods and supplies that she had been assigned to collect, being the member best suited to the transport of heavy loads. She didn't mind. It gave her a chance to enjoy the view of the country, and wildlife, as the path runs between two large woodlands.

It was on this eastbound road that she spotted another traveler, which was unusual on this road at this time of night. He was either heading to the guild, or was heading for Ambran. If the latter were true, he would be out too late, and she didn't see any camping gear among what he was carrying, so she ruled that out. Her gait sped up to a canter until she caught up to the traveler, who, as she got close, was younger than she had first thought, in fact, nary older than a boy!

The traveler gave an awkward greeting and explained what Eilidh had guessed; he was heading to the guild. She continued to listen to him, noticing as he did so that he kept staring at her horse half. She didn't mind so much. There were worse body parts to be caught staring at. Besides, Centaurs were rare in this part of the country. He finished with an offer to travel together, which forced a chuckle from the towering lady.

"I am also a member of the guild, so yes, we shall travel together. I assumed as much from you when I saw you. A young man with little equipment would be foolish to make the trek to Ambran in darkness, and there's only one other destination on this path. I am also returning from a task to transport supplies from Mahigan. It's not how I would choose to employ my skills but the ability to hunt and fight will not serve well to assist in repairing a building."

The Centaur chuckled at her own humor, then looked down at the boy.

"My name is Eilidh Chiron. I am a Centaur. What is your name, traveler?"

@PaulHaynek

♦ A New Era ♦ - A My Hero Academia RP

Mako Akane

Mako opened her eyes, and studied Dulga's face for a while, before putting the coffee down, opening her desk and opening a can of beer, which began to 'grow' frost around it as Mako down the whole thing in a single sitting and then chucked the can in the trash. "In my entire career, there are only a handful of things I regret, but the biggest one is giving up that sword and letting that murderous bastard use it. I can't be too hard on my past self. She was just a dumb nineteen year old kid. And hindsight is 20/20. But even so, blood is on my hands, and I hate that. It may seem odd or hypocritical of a thief to say this but I abhor people who maliciously injure or kill others. I always have.

As for your questions, he was after that sword because t was an incredibly strong sword that could handle his power. Kensai is a lone wolf who's out to prove how much strong her is than everybody by fighting to the death. At least that what I've gathered. If there's any deeper meaning to his motives, I don't know it. I don't know where he is right now, now who his allies are. He's an incredibly strong and fast opponent but I'm not sure if that's his quirk. If it isn't, he never used it."

Mako's sad eyes suddenly flared up again and her hand shot over the desk like a bullet and grabbed Dulga's nearest wrist. There was no anger in Mako's expression, just desperation. "I'm not going to tell you to give up on revenge. Lord knows you deserve it. But DO NOT do anything until you are ready to face him, and that will not be for years at the least. Trust me. If you want to see him dead, letting your emotions get the better of you will result in him seeing you dead, and that's the exact opposite."

@Norschtalen

♦ A New Era ♦ - A My Hero Academia RP

Mako Akane

The bombshell was dropped. Mako sighed, and poured herself another cup of coffee. "I'm sorry about putting that question on the test. I wasn't thinking about you when I made that paper, but that question was based on him, yes. Facing him was...the first time in my life that'd I had ever been truly terrified. If you have specific questions, I'll be to answer them directly, but if not, i'll just tell you about him.

His name is Kensai. He's a very fearsome and skilled serial killer. He was like the original Stain, though he didn't have an agenda that I know of and was just trying to prove his strength, or increase it. Or both. When I was a foolish little girl of nineteen, trying to prove myself just as much as he was, I stole...something of great value, that he wanted, and he pursued me relentlessly until my fear was greater than my pride and I left the sword behind and fled. Kensai is the sole reason I decided that the ability to sneak wasn't enough and I also needed to train in combat and dodging."

@Norschtalen