Sir Lurksalot — Roleplayer Guild

Duncan MacAiden

@Kitsune@ZekariVoblis@Zelosse@Lucius Cypher@FamishedPants@liferusher@Seirei No Hai@Letter Bee@PhoenixRising

"Heh..."

The Elf in question had heard him and, in spite of all the stares, leers and muttered jeers... began to smile a bit. Despite his trademarked brand of pluck and gruffness, Duncan couldn't help but grin a little himself at having found a small, simple way to brighten up her morning just that little bit as he turned his attention back to Ease. 

Sometimes it was the little things...

"Hey, staring at the Elf like Basilisks is not a good way to set the mood for drinking; don't you guys have better things to do than treating women badly!?"

'Oh, for fuck's sake.'

And then some kid just waltzed in and started loudly pontificating to everyone, guilty or not, about Elven Rights. Very possibly undoing the little smile he'd gotten out of the timid girl by devoting the entire bar's attention to her.

But the lad was not done yet...

"Let's just listen to some music instead, so that we can drink better! In fact, I have a tune just for this occassion!"

And then he pulled out a tablet and the freakin' Gurren Lagann theme began to play. Loudly.

"I agree, don't you people have something more productive to be doing then sitting around sulking that someone's different? Dicks."

And, oh look, there was another.

"Ease..."

He began, but was summarily cut off as a very familiar looking man in green tights began to scream. Not familiar in the 'Have we met' kinda way, he realized as his jaw dropped slightly, but more in the 'I closed the eyes on your corpse, covered your face to give you some semblance of dignity and gave you Last Rites last night, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING ALIVE?' kinda way.  

And then some big Sauron-looking motherfucker started screaming too, flipping a table, ramming an arrow into the first kid's device and then straight-backhanding him across the face before kicking down the door and booking it into the daytime streets with his spandex-clad companion.

"Ease... do you believe this shit?"

The Alaskan, of course, responded in his own special way.

"No no. Mmm. Mmmm. No no NO NO NO! NO *proceeds to get up* HELL NO! *starts walking past everyone and downstairs* NOO NOO! I REFU-NO! *opens door to room* no. *closes door surprisingly quietly* "

The bald man, for his part, just stared after his blonde compatriot with a blank expression... before picking up the coffee he'd abandoned without so much as touching.

"Well. Guess not." He deadpanned, before taking a sip.

'Well, small miracles. At least nobody else is acting-' His thoughts were derailed as a very large, apparently very drunk man slammed his fists down on his table and stood up, apparently having deduced the cause of all this ruckus as he began stomping towards where he last saw the Elf. '...Awww, shit.'

Gulping down the rest of Ease's coffee, Duncan stood and moved to intercept the man and, being sober and somewhat more nimble, managed to catch him before he could quite clear the tables, lifting his hands in a calming gesture.

"Hey, Bud..." He started, calm and unphased even as the drunkard who towered over all five and a half feet of him stopped and stared down upon him with pure murder in his eyes "She just wanted some food. If you wanna be mad, be mad at the guys who actually trashed the place."

His words were immediately met by the man's massive backhand meeting him in the face and the crunching and snapping of bone. None of them his, he noted, staring down at the floppy flesh-sack of broken bone that resembled a hand with the same silently dumbstruck expression as it's owner.

"...The fuck?"

No sooner had the words left his mouth did the injured and now very frightened man begin to scream.

"Hey man, woah, calm down...!"

-CRACK!-

For his trouble, his subject got hold of a full bottle of some unknown liquor off one of the tables and broke it over his head... eliciting no more damage than a slight hiss and a few growled profanities from the bald man as he now had what, as it turned out, was rum in his eyes.

"What are you...? What the hell are you?!" The increasingly shaken and increasingly sober man demanded, his lip trembling slightly as he took a step back, cradling his broken appendage close to his belly.

"Well, at the moment, I'm pretty fucking confused." Duncan responded with a hiss, wiping the alcohol out of his eyes "Annoyed. Covered in booze. But mostly confused. Now would ya calm down for a minute and-"

-CRUNCH!-

Aaaannnd, he was now covered in dust and bits of wood. The man had found a chair this time.

Duncan winced only slightly and began to growl.

'Okay. Mad now.'

"-Stop. Breaking shit. OVER MY FUCKING HEAD!"

With a step forward, Duncan gave the man a firm shove, intending to put the man on his ass. What he got instead was the rapidly retreating sight of the man's terrified face as he hurtled straight backwards through the tavern, out the empty doorway and across the street, careening into a fruit stand.

For a moment, the Celtic Canuck could only stare at his former 'opponent's whimpering form across the street, covered in crushed produce as passing city-dwellers ran over to see if he was alright... which logically led them to look back to where he came from, staring right at the short bald guy with the out-stretched hand in the tavern.

His eyes shifted back toward his hand. Finding it, surprisingly, still to be the same amalgam of skin, muscle and bone he'd always known.

'What. The fuck.'

After a very long pause he was brought back to reality by a repressed cough by one of the patrons, raising his eyes he found all of them staring at him in a mix of shock and awe. And why wouldn't they? He was standing there covered in a layer of booze and sawdust and just hurled a man thrice his size out the door with all the effort it took to open a stubborn door.

"I... uhh..." He called out to Yosh, clearing his throat slightly and uncharacteristically quiet as he spoke, clearly a bit unsettled by what just happened. "I'll be upstairs getting cleaned up... I'll settle my bill when I come back down."

He slowly took a step back, then turned and headed for the stairs.

"...Sorry about that."
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