Member
Carlyle
The Otter
ASDAValueMilk
Bacon
Crimson Flame
Simple Unicycle
ColdAtlas
Autumn Moon
Roman
So, let's recap...
Last night, Duncan was dolling himself up in his fancy red uniform to go to a fancy dinner party for some relative of the queen to fulfill his job of standing around politicians, smiling with a bunch of polished medals hanging off his left tit to make them look more electable... and then he showed up in some bullshit fantasy world, filled with an unyielding amount of anime tropes whereupon he immediately ran into an old war-buddy of his, watched her blow up, somehow survived (though he quite distinctly remembered being partially melted) and then got into a fistfight with a guy with fuzzy cat-ears and dress because he also somehow along the way became the Incredible Goddamn Hulk. And now he was following some knightly Orc and a turbo-bitch elf on some crusade to kill demons, at the behest of the afore-mentioned cat-boy who was now his boss.
Because, why not? His life had already taken a permanent turn for the insane, he might as well just roll with it, and ram his foot up Satan's arsehole while he's at it.
So, after downing that pint Felix owed him and somehow being talked into working for the guy (who promptly ran off to get his things and fill 'Miss Crush' (who was apparently his boss) in on what was happening, he followed along with Mally who, as it turns out, was a pretty decent guy when he wasn't calling you a peasant or threatening to put an axe into your skull and Atisha, to which he owed the odd discovery that Gaelic bears at least some resemblance to Elvish... namely, when Duncan responded to her insults and threats (of which there were many, in more than one language) with (among other things) 'Gala'... which apparently means 'Bitch' in both languages and prompted a shouting match with knives drawn that Mally had to put an abrupt stop to before they could murder eachother in front of the castle and give any linguists that might be hiding in the bushes somewhere a fatal heart-attack. Which of course, led to an extensive (and just a liiitle bit condescending) lecture by the Orc about noble conduct wherein the Mountie-turned-Demonslayer decided it would probably be a bad idea to ever mention to the Orc his extraordinarily colourful military career, the fact that he actually owned a decent piece of land and that in his own country, he was the rough equivalent of a Royal Guard.
On the one hand, the Orc might not even believe him.
On the other, he might mistakenly believe him to be a noble and give him another, more thorough lecture for not acting right.
After getting garbed up in whatever gear Malakaus had lying around and being given a giant murder-stick, Duncan parted ways with the Orc (who may or may not have smirked a little at seeing his old gear getting used again) and the Elf (who was very clearly trying to burn a hole into his brain with her murder-glare) and made his way down to the market where he met with Ease (still flanked by the kitty twins) who helped him pawn off his medals, his badge, what remained of his coin purse and even his red serge to get the rest of what he'd need; Namely an old suit of leather armour to go under his plate, an old ruck with all the basic (and economically priced) necessities and a bedroll.
Which of course, brings us quite nicely to the present; with our bald and angry hero of these past few run-on sentences standing just slightly away from the party of the Orc, the Elf, that same damned kid and his fuzzy-headed employer, as yet unnoticed and mulling over his one last chance to run the hell away from this mad misadventure he'd stumbled his way into.
He could just turn and run- Now armed and with the newfound strength of his legs it was doubtful anyone'd have an easy go catching him, and he had spent the better part of his teenage learning how to survive innawoods in a fashion that'd make Rambo green with envy. But... well...
He gave them his word. And while Duncan was many things, outwardly violent and gruff and cold, he wasn't one to go back on his word.
His Grandfather taught him better than that.
And so, with a slight grimace, Duncan pulled a cigar and his zippo from his pocket, lit himself a smoke and stepped forward, making his presence known with a simple statement to the Orc leading this expedition.
"Ready when you are, Boss."