Name: Roland Nightbreaker Age: 15 Species: Human Abilities: As a paladin, Roland uses Divine Magics and can perform a number of spells considered to be of holy nature. Being a novice, however, he is only able to cast beginner spells such as:
-Heal light wounds: Covers bruises, cuts, and other small afflictions. For broken bones and severed limbs, seek the nurse. -Celestial Strike: Allows Roland to channel power into his hand or weapon causing his next attack to become more powerful, especially against the dead and their ilk. -Lesser Exorcism: A burst of energy that kills the lowest of undead and induces fear in lesser undead and demonic creatures. -Aura of light: Roland emits a small glow lighting up dark places. Not recommended for sneaking.
Skills: Proficient with one-handed weapons and shields as well as unarmed combat. Can hold his breath for 10 minutes.
Inventory: Sword and Shield with the family emblem printed on both.
Blades clashed against shields as the two Nightbreaker brothers fought in the backyard of their family home. Back and forth they seamlessly blocked and parried each others attacks almost like they had rehearsed this dance before. The match came to an end when one combatant knocked the other’s shield away and used the opening to thrust forward slicing a nasty gash into his opponent's shoulder.
”GAH! TIME OUT TIME OUT!” Roland cried as he fell to his knees. Dropping his gear his hand quickly clasped over the fresh wound as blood ran down his arm. After taking a few deep breaths, the young paladin was able to fight through the pain and began focusing his power. A glow began emitting from his hand slowly healing the wound and providing much needed relief from the pain. ”You know, most people like to spare with training gear.”
“Most people aren’t able to cast healing spells.” His older brother Marcus replied. ”Besides, if you ever want to be a Dawn Slayer like me, you’ll need to learn what it’s like to be in a real fight. I can assure you’ll find the same views at Hikari.”
The Academy, Roland had just gotten his acceptance letter earlier this week, it was why his brother was visiting in the first place. He and the rest of the family were overjoyed of course, but Roland was more worried than anything to say the least. The Nightbreaker name had been synonymous with some of the greatest paladins in history and he had always hoped to live up to that legacy. Yet, even after all is training, he still wasn’t sure he was worthy of the name.
“Hey, Marcus. Do you… Do you think I’m ready for the academy?” Roland asked not hiding the concern in his face.
“Of course not.” Marcus answered bluntly. His words shocked Roland. He might have doubted himself, but he hoped if anyone had faith in him it would be his brother. As he looked to the ground in defeat, Marcus continued. ”No one goes to the academy ready for it. Otherwise what would be the point? What would you be learning if you already had the skills? Hikari Academy doesn’t take the best, they make the best. Don’t worry about where you are now, work towards where you want to be. Listen to your teachers, heed their guidance, and always look to improve yourself. Do that, and you’ll be a Dawn Slayer yet.”
And just like that, Roland’s fears began to melt away. He had been looking at this all wrong. The academy wasn’t some final test to prove his skills, it was the last step needed to learn them. Of course he was still nervous about going, but now, things didn’t seem that bad. Pulling his hand away from his shoulder, Roland examined the spot where he was hit and found no trace of the wound. ”Thanks, Marcus. Now, how about we go for round two?”
I don't think Paladin is a species; is he a human who's occupation is being a Paladin? Also, I'll need to think about your Other section and whether or not I want the unrest you suggest to exist.
I don't think Paladin is a species; is he a human who's occupation is being a Paladin? Also, I'll need to think about your Other section and whether or not I want the unrest you suggest to exist.
Yeah, I didn't know where else to put it so I slapped it with species since I saw other's putting things like "human mage" there. I can make a new spot for class or just toss that into other if you want.
As for the unrest, that really is just a suggestion for like an added plot device that could be used or not. If it messes with the main plot too much, however, I have no issue with trashing it.
Maybe just adding it in Abilities is best as it can explain his Holy powers. As for the unrest thing, I'm going to go ahead and say that messes with the lore too much and decline it.
Maybe just adding it in Abilities is best as it can explain his Holy powers. As for the unrest thing, I'm going to go ahead and say that messes with the lore too much and decline it.
Edits made. Anything else you'd like me to change?
• Name: Luna Elyse • Title: Student • Age: 129-looks 17 years old • Species: Mermaid
• Abilities: Luna is able to grow legs as soon as she dries off, which allows her to explore the human world. She also has an awful singing voice; her brother once quoted “it would make any mortals ears begin to bleed” so beware of her Siren Scream. When she is under the water she has the ability to communicate with animals.
• Skills: Luna likes mixing things, potions and cocktails to be exact. She can whip up any intoxicating delight as well as mix up a powerful potion.
• Inventory: Luna is accompanied by a Purrmaid. Yes that’s right, not a catfish, a Purrmaid. It also grows four legs when dried off. Its name is Hamish. A white cat (Purrmaid) that is very devoted to Luna and her well-being. Under the sea these Purrmaids take on the role of assistant to some mermaids; dressing them in pearls and flowers, accompanying them around for friendship, they are even known to attack or punish young mermaids or creatures that tormented their mermaid. Hamish is by Luna’s side almost all the time, usually he does not interfere with her day to day activities, unless he feels he needs to.
• Sample Post: Luna was at the ripe age of 99 when she (like most mermaids her age) noticed a change in herself. Her tail got shinier, her body changed, and the ocean just seemed…brighter. And of course there was that urge, the urge to enter the human world. That’s the calling you see. Around that age all mermaids feel the calling and venture into the human world. It’s almost like a rite of passage. It indicates the tail is able to morph and the mermaid is able to form legs. Luna felt it deep in her chest, and almost as if she were under hypnosis, she swam to the surface. Popping her head up to make sure the coast was clear; she found a secluded beach surrounded by cliffs. And there she flopped up the beach out of the surf and let the warm sun dry her. It felt funny at first, almost as if she were turning to jelly but then the sensations of skin against sand and warmth on her legs quickly grew as legs seems to appear as a tail melted away, leaving only a cluster of thin iridescent scales behind to be washed away at high tide. Luna firmly placed her hands on the shifting sand and boosted herself up. Almost instantly she fell down. She struggled for many minutes just trying to get up; once she was stable she wobbled a bit and shuffled her feet around the beach, slowly picking her feet up higher each time. Luna had fallen so many times she experienced a sore feeling in her backside that was never there before. But after a few hours she was walking almost like normal. Now, Luna has spent more time in the human world and no longer walks like a duck. She visits the ocean often to collect ingredients for her potions.
You may want to polish the structure of that CS. Space out the sections and break that sample into paragraphs, and maybe expand on that in length a little. Just makes things easier to read over all.
As for the picture, you can get it to work through the Guild's picture system. Save the picture you want to your computer, then go into your profile and find the images tab. Then you can upload the pic into the guild and get a link that is compatible to the Guild's formatting.