@SleepingSilence Let's start at the beginning: No, it's never smart to write drunk. Or almost never. I don't know you that personally.
First of all- there's the sometimes repeated and over-numerous Techniques between In-Training and Ultimate level. Baby and In-Training Digimon can only have one technique, almost as a rule. Rookies can have one or two, but not usually three, and the maximum number of Techniques a Digimon can have in most situations is four.

Secondly- the characters shouldn't even know what Digimon are- and the Digimon shouldn't know humans are real- before they meet each other, so that's another thing that needs to be changed.

Now, for the big stuff. The entire bio is rather choppy and fragmented, to the point where it barely feels like it's about the same character. A once-over to repair the flow would help a lot. In addition, the traits you gave your character are so un-explained and numerous that they don't seem to apply to the same person, especially with the inter-cut talk about his father. I don't really have any idea about who the character is, really, nor does he give much of a knowledge vibe. Plus the "is expertly socially capable but also a hacker but also a terrible" vibe is just... yeah, that doesn't work.

So, yeah, there's some restructuring to be done, and maybe try for a different Crest if you want. We did just have the Sincerity player drop, so that could be a good place to try and not be gunning after an aspect to which anyone may have gotten attached.

@tobiax The repeated and numerous techniques nearly follow the (mostly) in-cannon move-set for the characters line. So that's why the characters have the movesets they have. Can we have non-cannon movesets? If so I'll just make up my own abilities in editing.

(Also, was I blind or was that something not added for clarification on the intro page? That's usually where you should put all that stuff, if it differs from the norm.)

Ah, one of those. I had a sneaking suspicion that every time I assume we're going to start in media res. We end up going to the "it starts before anything/everything" deal. That really needs to be listed on every introduction/OOC page before people have to redo all their stuff. :P (If that is, my mistake.)

But again, it won't take me that long to fix.

Also, to properly explain why he fits knowledge. He has private knowledge of many things through hacking, and he uses that knowledge (and obtains it) in a corrupt manner. I think a manipulative sociopath (who are often highly intelligent.) works pretty well in that regard...and I gave him some actual character. So he wouldn't have to be an outright villain character, if we were suppose to be hero (anti-hero) archetypes. I don't get why "social" and especially "capable" (separate words in my personality sheet), can't be a "hacker" to you?

Actually, I was going to ask if you could be more specific in what exactly feels fragmented? The separate paragraphs all have a connecting theme. But I'm fine with editing that too. I could probably do better anyway.

If you want me to just simplify it further. Because just looking at the other character sheets. Personality isn't even separately elaborated on, so I don't know how those characters will actually interact or behave much at all. And is mixed into the background/life details. So if you want me to mimic that. I can clear my sheet off and do so. (Just need my queries answered first. So I know what I'm doing. :3)

I also already thought sincerity was one of the empty slots? (So does that mean you're waiting on another person? Or well, how many players would you like before you'd consider starting?)

Anything else I should know about? That's been discussed for the future plot that has yet to be added in the beginning of the OOC page?

@SleepingSilence Sincerity is one of the open slots, yes.

@tobiax The repeated and numerous techniques nearly follow the (mostly) in-cannon move-set for the characters line. So that's why the characters have the movesets they have. Can we have non-cannon movesets? If so I'll just make up my own abilities in editing.

That's not the main point. You have too many Techniques on the majority of your Digimon stages for their level. For Nyaromon, you have two extra versions of the exact same move with names that have no citation on the source provided. For Salamon, it's rare for Digimon to have three Techniques for any individual Rookie to use. And having two attacks named "Darkness Wave" for Lady Devimon is just silly.
Also, big leap of logic there bub.

(Also, was I blind or was that something not added for clarification on the intro page? That's usually where you should put all that stuff, if it differs from the norm.)

What I mentioned really doesn't differ from the norm. That is the norm.

Ah, one of those. I had a sneaking suspicion that every time I assume we're going to start in media res. We end up going to the "it starts before anything/everything" deal. That really needs to be listed on every introduction/OOC page before people have to redo all their stuff. :P (If that is, my mistake.)

But again, it won't take me that long to fix.

Yeah... character sheets aren't really in media res. Like ever.

Also, to properly explain why he fits knowledge. He has private knowledge of many things through hacking, and he uses that knowledge (and obtains it) in a corrupt manner. I think a manipulative sociopath (who are often highly intelligent.) works pretty well in that regard...and I gave him some actual character. So he wouldn't have to be an outright villain character, if we were suppose to be hero (anti-hero) archetypes. I don't get why "social" and especially "capable" (separate words in my personality sheet), can't be a "hacker" to you?

It didn't come across in the character sheet.
And because being a hacker- especially one that's any good, takes time. Lots of time. And time is a limited resource.

Actually, I was going to ask if you could be more specific in what exactly feels fragmented? The separate paragraphs all have a connecting theme. But I'm fine with editing that too. I could probably do better anyway.

The writing as a whole. Sentences are short and disconnected. Some of them, honestly, are just fragments. They don't have flow in themselves, and don't flow to the next sentence after. As a result, it was hard to understand, and a bit bloated if I may be frank.

If you want me to just simplify it further. Because just looking at the other character sheets. Personality isn't even separately elaborated on, so I don't know how those characters will actually interact or behave much at all. And is mixed into the background/life details. So if you want me to mimic that. I can clear my sheet off and do so. (Just need my queries answered first. So I know what I'm doing. :3)

See, this is making me think that you didn't read any other character sheets really. Because while most were on the shorter side, yes, they had enough information, yet were succinct enough, to know who the character is. The reason that it's just "Bio" and not "Biography" and "Personality" is because, honestly, I didn't want the character sheets to be over-bloated brick walls of text. Furthermore, it's so show what their personality is and, more importantly, why, in one place, instead of sprawled out in two places.

I also already thought sincerity was one of the empty slots? (So does that mean you're waiting on another person? Or well, how many players would you like before you'd consider starting?)

Yes. Because someone just left before you showed up. Enter's just quick on the edit I guess.

Anything else I should know about? That's been discussed for the future plot that has yet to be added in the beginning of the OOC page?

Nope, WYSIWYG.

That's not the main point. You have too many Techniques on the majority of your Digimon stages for their level. For Nyaromon, you have two extra versions of the exact same move with names that have no citation on the source provided. For Salamon, it's rare for Digimon to have three Techniques for any individual Rookie to use. And having two attacks named "Darkness Wave" for Lady Devimon is just silly.
Also, big leap of logic there bub.

Just to be perfectly frank. You're being unnecessarily passive aggressive with me. I really don't need to snark, if I'm not giving it back. You decided to PM me about providing baggage likely without any evidence provided. But you are doing that by how you've addressed my points. (Maybe because of those inaccurate assumptions.)

But a GM and Co-GM (not that I'm pointing fingers at either.) should be able to clearly respond without telling me "how big of a logic leap" the actual CANNON website of the show has provided.

What do you even mean by no citations? No other CS has citations for moves that I see. (Some don't even -have- complete move sets period.) The name of the character links to the website that has all the listed moves...

I said I'm okay with changing them. It wasn't me trying to argue. But it isn't a fault of my own. And it wasn't mentioned on the introductory page, which good OOC's are supposed to have. It's fine to miss something, but I encourage you to add all of this for future interested members. So you don't have to say the same things twice and get people confused for no reason.

And probably the biggest reason I'm typing this the way I am. After all that. You didn't even answer the single question I had asked as a player. "Can I make my own custom moveset?" (Since we're clearly not following in-cannon move sets. Or was I suppose to just grab one from the hat, so to speak.)

What I mentioned really doesn't differ from the norm. That is the norm.

If you think the way you (or anyone else for that matter.) Just blindly creates the exact same digimon roleplay, in the exact same way. So you didn't need to clarify something, you just needed to clarify. You're mistaken. Because not a single other digimon RP I've been into. Not on the forum, or elsewhere had those exact restrictions or requirements. It's also not that way in the games I've played. The card game. Or even the shows for that matter. Not that any of those should be assumed in a roleplay. Everything should be clarified as crystal clear as possible.

Yeah... character sheets aren't really in media res. Like ever.

I don't wish to sound unfair. But read this again and tell me how presumptuous it sounds. Then ask me how did it help me as a potential player to say this? Literally the last digimon RP I was in, did in media res. (least in terms that we already had our introductions with our partners.)

Off topic, but many genres do this. For instance, most superhero RP's are in media res, because they don't go the powers origin story. Actually most RP stories in general usually don't actually "start" from the beginning at all. Even if it's the "first" time the characters meet. It's already in the middle of war, or some tragic and terrible event. But not even that is true, or occurs sometimes. (Referring to first time meeting characters.) Because it's almost always better to have interpersonal relationships to already work off of. But this is my own personal taste. For you personally, fine and I was willing to accept that.

But again, that sounds unbelievably condescending and it's not remotely true either.

It didn't come across in the character sheet.
And because being a hacker- especially one that's any good, takes time. Lots of time. And time is a limited resource.

I'll be the first to admit. (Though I kind of did already.) That I could have probably written in more detail and made it clearer. But I mirrored the rest of the character sheets which are very simple and brief. So I admit there's holes, but I figured the blanks were the "time" you could fill in the gaps on what he did with it. Being rich and having everything he wanted, maybe he had some private lessons to speed up the process of learning? I mean, I can tell you super hacker/computer wiz-kids exist in the real world. It's also a trope...it's even -used- in digimon.

So I was fine with making his background information more clear. But that didn't even seem to be the issue you brought up to me. It was "is expertly socially capable but also a hacker but also a terrible?" Is what you sent to me, which seems to imply the very idea a manipulative and terrible person could also be a capable hacker and have a social life. Was an outright impossibility to have for character traits.

Which I didn't get...and I still didn't really get a clarification whether you were fine with my character's personality and profession. (and just required more clarification and a better worded bio.) Or if you wholly rejected the character concept...

The writing as a whole. Sentences are short and disconnected. Some of them, honestly, are just fragments. They don't have flow in themselves, and don't flow to the next sentence after. As a result, it was hard to understand, and a bit bloated if I may be frank.

That doesn't actually go into any further detail at all. Actually that sort of makes it broader, by implying not just the biography needs to be changed.

I'm trying to make a character sheet. (as few times as possible. Because it's never been worth, redoing a CS more than thrice.) I don't really want to point of individual parts that make perfect sense and aren't sentence fragments in anyway. So, if there's bits you don't think fit. I would have preferred to have them pointed out. But looking at it, I'm sure I could have improved it's flow...

See, this is making me think that you didn't read any other character sheets really. Because while most were on the shorter side, yes, they had enough information, yet were succinct enough, to know who the character is. The reason that it's just "Bio" and not "Biography" and "Personality" is because, honestly, I didn't want the character sheets to be over-bloated brick walls of text. Furthermore, it's so show what their personality is and, more importantly, why, in one place, instead of sprawled out in two places.

Not to sound elitist here. I didn't really want to name names, because it feels unrelated to the conversation. But the CS's being "bloated" or "wall-of text", that's kind of how advanced character sheets tend to be. Helk, my CS right now which is longer. I probably wouldn't even consider myself reaching anything above casual levels. But I didn't feel the need to bring it up previously.

But if I'm seriously going to receive "my sentences are fragmented" critiques and questions if I read the other character sheets at all.

When character sheets have literal endless lists for personality like:

Personality Traits: Dependent, Reserved, Seldom Talks, Cooperative, Naive, Pessimistic, Defensive on the Outside, Super Soft and Caring on the Inside.

You're going to tell me that this:

Odarius has a few screws loose. Easily standing out from the crowd. Ready to be playful and tell jokes to make a crowd laugh, or break out into breakdancing in public. At least he’s good at it. Loves listening to music, especially rap. Extroverted and sociable. However, in serious situations he’s practically fearless and perfectly capable to face his problems head on without hesitation. Having the patience of a patron saint. Along with a undying paternal instinct that will actively fight his more self-centered desires. Finding sentimental value in things like family drawings and worthless trinkets. He’s unfoolable, with impeccable detection of liars or those that have ill intentions. Takes one to know one. His wealth of knowledge both trivial and world-altering is his own personal weapon. Filled with scorn and arrogance, most of his actions are cruel and vindictive in nature. Yet is still unpredictable, occasionally acting like an angel. Despite the appearance that he speaks with devils on either shoulder. Not afraid to show his monstrous side, if someone pisses him off. Or far worse, threatening his “daughter’s” happiness...

Is lesser par and somehow more fragmented and too short in sentence structure?

I'm sorry. (to both you and the person I used to make comparisons.) But that feels like hard bias to me. Not saying it's against me personally. But the problem with fragmented sentences, certainly seems to effecting me alone.

I'm sure you didn't mean any of your reply in the negative way it certainly came across to me as. But I was simply waiting on a few things to be cleared up before I could simply re-edit my character so it would meet to your satisfaction. But I didn't even get the few answers I sought after all of that.

I think I can safely assume we might already have clashing personalities. So, it may be best for me to abstain from joining.

Thanks for the chance, and I wish you both the best of luck with your RP.

@SleepingSilence The Digimon wiki is a fan made site. I was only addressing your writing quality. Writing quality which, I may point out, is sub standard for the Advanced section, which, in case it escaped your notice- which happens to me from time to time- we are in right now.

In reference to Alex Honda's character sheet, the list (which is not "literal endless", but eight) only serves to accentuate the existing bio, which would be fine on its own. And I'd prefer you not mud-sling other people's characters, thanks.

Honestly, if you're not going to be receptive to constructive criticism, and you aren't willing to improve your writing quality, you may as well not join.

@tobiax Frankly that's getting into semantics, without addressing any of my points. The cannon digimon moveset isn't what the RP has, and the requirements aren't the "normal" because there is no normal for roleplaying. Simple as that.

Also, no you didn't just do that. You mocked me for thinking that we might have already been introduced to our characters. When my very last digimon RP, did just that. So damn me for the details, but you acted like many of my statements were purely unfounded.

And please give me a break. Telling me my writing compared to the rest is somehow less appropriate for the advanced section...I'm perfectly capable of writing an advance character sheet. I'll leave it at that.

Without specifics given, all I can assume is your opinion merely clashed with mine. So I won't say you're wrong, but don't you dare say I'm wrong if you don't have specifics. (Nor suggestions for improvement.) I was joining for your own benefit. (like every player, a GM cannot roleplay without players.) So this blatant ill attitude won't get you players and may outright push others away.

That isn't constructive. You weren't being constructive. You were passive aggressive, which is an antithesis of that. And you weren't even correct with things you said to me. Nor helpful, with the actual things I wanted help with.

I wasn't purposefully mud-slinging. (My term of an endless list/bullet point description. Is just a bunch of words without further clarification, like it's a grocery shopping list. Go buy; Milk,Bread,Cornflakes. Etc. The fact that it's "just eight" is trivial.) The entire reason I provided that was because I wanted an actual detailed explanation on why that was considered "short and fragmented" to you.

But it's certainly clear your blind attitude is effecting what should be and isn't an appropriate response. Because telling someone "they shouldn't join if they can't take (unexplained) blanket statements" so arrogantly. When I already replied with "I wish you luck in future, and I'll be abstaining from joining" already points this out. It's like going out of your way to fire someone that already graciously quit. <.<

When I already replied with "I wish you luck in future, and I'll be abstaining from joining" already points this out. It's like going out of your way to fire someone that already graciously quit.

Don't act like I can't see the post was edited.

@tobiax@EnterTheHero

I take it I can go ahead and put Ichi in the character's tab?

Guess Sincerity is still something that needs to be worked on. Any takers, or should I go ahead with an idea?

@Raddum We’re still waiting on some new people, just in case, but if we don’t garner more interest in the next few days, then you’ll have my approval for Ichi.

@RaddumDitto.

Just realized Franky's voice would sound like Steve Blums.

@Rai

Now I'm just thinking about Grunt from Mass Effect 2.

Franky would be a disgrace to the Krogan however

@Rai Sweeeet.

Looks like a buncha stuff has happened in this OOC already, but unless I'm mistaken, you're still accepting a character for the Sincerity crest no? Figured I'd throw together a CS and give it a go.

@cunfuzzler

Ayy, Sincerity was the biggest issue for us to figure out, yeah!

I don't know what the GM's will say, but I think she'd squeeze into the group nicely. She won't have to put much (or any) effort into starting issues between some of the cast, so she's bound to be entertained by some fresh bodies arguing among eachother. She has the wit to bite back when they sass her, too.

_{We truly do have a group of problems on our hands.}

@cunfuzzler Welp. There goes the neighborhood. Lizzy will be a sterling addition to the roster- and the chaos caused by this decision will be legendary...

Approved. Head on over to the Character tab and await further instructions. Welcome aboard~

_{We truly do have a group of problems on our hands.}

Its ok! In the end they will all love each other, have babies together and grow old together. ^^

Its ok! In the end they will all love each other, have babies together and grow old together. ^^

Should add a big to the end of that, heh.

I do hope things end well all-around, though. I like our cast.

<Snipped quote by Rai>

Should add a big

HOPEFULLY™

to the end of that, heh.

I do hope things end well all-around, though. I like our cast.

Considering this is one of my stories, permit me to give you both a warning, and a reassurance:

Things are DEFINITELY going to get worse before they get better. But they do get better. I don’t believe in darkness for darkness’ sake.