@TheWindelHmm, I'd like to leave that more up to the reader as I have yet decided; but current thoughts are just near death. Maybe to the point of mortal wounds, but not to cross that line personally.
It's fine. You can also keep that part since it'll make it interesting when she joins the Detention Club, only to find the no killing policy.
As a note to everyone else, your characters will have already been in the Detention Club for some time when the RP begins. Keep this in mind. Likewise, I may allow newbies to the Club on a case by case basis.
2. I cannot find any issues with the code for my third picture- if someone could look at the raw code and tell me what I am doing wrong, that would be great.
3. Sickness blasts are a more targeted and stronger version of her aura. Victims start feeling ill and lethargic with weaker attacks, but if she puts more into it, like in the sample, she can cause targets to collapse in exhaustion and even fall unconscious.
4. Will wait for KoL's opinion
5. I thought the sample post was just to give you an idea of writing quality.
2. I cannot find any issues with the code for my third picture- if someone could look at the raw code and tell me what I am doing wrong, that would be great.
Looking at the raw code, I can't find the issue so maybe just put the image through Imgur and use that link.
3. Sickness blasts are a more targeted and stronger version of her aura. Victims start feeling ill and lethargic with weaker attacks, but if she puts more into it, like in the sample, she can cause targets to collapse in exhaustion and even fall unconscious.
This is fine. Just make sure to add it to her CS.
5. I thought the sample post was just to give you an idea of writing quality.
While the sample post is to gauge your writing quality, we also want to make sure you have a firm grasp of the RP's universe. That being said, is the sample post canon or just a scenario you made?
Aside from these and the backstory, everything else is good to go. We'll let you know our verdict on the backstory after discussing it.
While I would normally question plain guns as magical girl weapons in any other situation, for the context of this (especially since she doesn't have plain .45s anymore), I suppose it's alright.
Accepted, just remember to do the modifications required to reflect the changes in the CS template.
Most of your CS is ok, however, I feel that her magic may require a few slight tweaks to avoid making her too resilient. Basically a vague limit on how much she can heal herself and adding a handicap to that clone ability like "she keeps the damage of the worst hurt of the two when she merges back" or make it very taxing on her magic reserves, anything to avoid a character that may end up becoming too much of a brick wall.
Originally called Eden, Aiko's outfit in the past used to be alot simpler, sporting a pink and white lolita-like dress, and a pair of small angel wings.
Now, Aiko's outfit has changed drastically, with a gothic red and black dress, boots, and a pure red cape.
• Name: Aiko Himura • Title: Rosemary • Age: 15 • Emblem: A red, rose shapped belt buckle surounded by a few leaves carved from stone. • Devil Arm: The weapon of a Dark Magical Girl, now twisted and corrupt much like their blackened souls. Describe what your weapon used to be and what it is now due to your slide into darkness. For example, what once may be ribbons have now turned into chains, bubble guns into grenade launchers, etc. • Magic: Your special magic. Much like your Devil Arms, your magic is affected by your transformation. Describe what it once was and what it has now become. For example, a plant-user might now exude thorns and poisons in their magic thanks to the darkness. • Background: A quick summary of your character thus far. We're less interested in how you became a Magical Girl and more so what caused them to become evil, be it out of tragedy, selfishness, or some other factor. Describe it here. • Inventory:Grapple Gun - A grappling gun Aiko uses to get around Miso City, and reach higher ground. • Sample Post:
• Other: Optional. Anything else not mentioned above that you may wish to add goes here.
• Name: Kanbaru Otoko • Title: Fortuna. • Age: 17a • Emblem: A tattoo formed between the nape of her neck and the valley of her breasts. Doesn't bother to conceal it.
• Devil Arm: A gunslinger playing around with a water gun in either hand, their streams cleaning the darkness from monsters and making the world a brighter place with every pull of the trigger. But cold cynicism and practicality turned the toys into the genuine article, now twin machine pistols which discharge lead that creates far more messes then could ever hope to be scoured away.
• Magic: Kanbaru's ice magic had once been a novelty, the sort to create patches along the ground to make a monster stumble and bluster while she blasted away or make a ramp to slide in upon in a suitably heroic fashion. Now the once crystalline ice is blackened and brackish, burning through sheer cold to the touch and growing jagged around the edge. Projectiles, spikes, and cages are the name of the game now, though she does enjoy leaving patches of black ice on the road for obvious reasons.
• Background: Kanbaru's fall from grace came from a simple realization she came upon out of the blue; Her work as a Magical Girl amounted to nothing. She could claim to be more physically fit and certainly there were the magical powers she enjoyed, but being a good person gained her nothing but missed time with friends and family, an endless litany of excuses for her absence that grew increasingly tiresome to everyone around her, and the combined mental and physical exhaustion which accumulated over the years.
And what did she have to show for it? This certainly didn't improve her academics any, and no one would put Magical Girl on a resume. It wasn't like she was saving the world single handily, so she had no great destiny shackling her to this moniker. What began as a thought spiraled into an epiphany which left her disillusioned with the notion of such altruistic pursuits, especially as she grew older and entered her last years of high school. Looking around the city it was far too apparent that the only way to get ahead was not to let yourself be crushed pushing the next guy up. Why should she be working for free just so people who would never know her deeds can go on and leave her to rot? Why couldn't she take what she earned through blood, sweat, and monumental effort?
After a visit from a certain Mascot, Kanbaru had the out she so desired.
• Inventory:Her motorcycle. While the Detention Club has a strict no killing clause, theft when practiced with discretion is given a bit more latitude. Taken off a transport truck in the midst of transit to avoid the security of a dealership, it's used solely for Magical Girl business to leave no connection to her mundane life. Also works as a conduit for ice magic, leaving ice slicks or conjuring ramps before it's wheels as needed.
The depth and breadth of freedom offered to a Magical Girl was astonishing when one cast aside the childish morality that tied there hands. The weapons, the magic, and the bonds forged with like minded magical girls were a rush that little could compare, but on one particularly muggy night, Kanbaru reveled in the exclusion from sight her Magical Girl form gave her. Sweat clung to the back of her neck from the steam and heat pooling in the kitchen of a well off Chinese take out place, but she paid it no mind, and in turn, none of the bustling staff paid mind to figure in the corner.
She'd called ahead on and placed a sizable order to someone else's address. More appetizers then she could stomach and entrees to fill in for a holiday feast. Some of it wasn't even food she liked, but she ordered it anyway, because it would take more time prepare. Already most of the order was finished, bagged up and waiting for the full order to be carried off and delivered.
And those look to be my dumplings. Time to carry out. The pragmatic Magical Girl thought, pushing away from the wall and skirting the staff to scoop up the ponderous brown paper bags stuffed to near bursting with fragrant fast food. Not an eye turned her way and none would do so as she stepped out the front door and took to the streets with a spring in her steps.
It wouldn't be long till the delivery driver noticed he had no order to pick up, but who would they blame? A customer sneaking in and swiping it from under the many eyes of a cramped kitchen? No. Clearly an employee screwed up. Someone lied. Someone stole. They may not act on it that night, but the seeds of distrust were sown and Kanbaru didn't need to try hard to imagine the changes in staff that would come soon enough. It didn't even warrant a shrug on her part. Her fridge would be full for the week, and she'd hit up the next delivery joint on her list before cycling back there in a few months.
"Ah, before I forget." She mused aloud, pulling out her phone and redialed the last number called. "Pearl Garden? Hi, I'd like to cancel my order."
• Other: Lives with her sister Rika, her cat, Noire, and her sister's dog, Ruxen. Despite being a greedy and selfish individual after her change of heart, she tries to keep herself of two minds, one for the house, and one for the rest of the world.
Your sample post is fine, however we've decided that the Detention Club wouldn't kidnap and torture her just to be recruited. Please change your character's backstory to reflect an alternate way in which they were corrupted. If you need some other ideas, feel free to ask and we can work with you in finding one. Do this as well as the other edits and we'll look at her again.
The option is there for people, assuming people want it at all. Though now that I think about it, people using light Magical Girls would be playing two characters.
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