[OOC] Hogwarts: Before the War

[Fury Panda]

Alrighty I believe I am done.

[Peridot]

@Fury Panda
Cool - my co-GM will be posting your review!

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@BlueSky44
Tetra Watson:

• Your faceclaim is 34 years old - hopefully you can see the issue with that.
• "Caucasian", not "Caucasion"
• While her Boggart is good, the riddikulus charm isn't very funny.
• Her appearance alludes to tomboyishness in that she doesn't keep up with trends, is athletic, and plays quidditch, but her personality doesn't seem to mention anything like that?
• Her personality is a tad vague. "She will try to do something, and will not give up until she is either successful, or after several failed attempts." Describes most people on the planet, I would think. When speaking of determination in a character, I would expect something a bit more extreme or unusual for the description. Doing something over and over despite the fact that succeeding is impossible, for example.
• Her backstory doesn't make a lot of sense to me. You've stated that a rift appeared between Tetra and her parents when she started showing signs of magic, but you haven't really elaborated? Why do they yell at her during these unusual occurrences? It's understandable when the Dursley's do it to Harry because they're fully aware of the magical world, and they're trying to borderline beat it out of him. Tetra's parents don't have this knowledge, so it seems odd that they'd react so aggressively to these occurrences. Also, did things get worse or better when they found out about the world of magic? Why did they let her go to Hogwarts and buy all of her school stuff for her if they were so against it? What were her brother's reactions to suddenly knowing about magic? How has she managed to fix things with her parents all of a sudden? It seems strange to me that a character who is kind, loyal, determined, studious, athletic, and attractive is mistreated by her parents for no good reason beyond "She's different".
• While your prompt is passable in terms of spelling and grammar, you've shifted between past and present tense in one of your paragraphs. This makes things quite confusing to read, so you'll need to make sure you don't do it in your IC posts.

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@ZoeMcQueen95
Katherine Mary Mullen:

• Her picture is great, but doesn't seem to correlate with her written appearance all that much? The picture shows a girl with dark hair, dark eyes, no freckles, and she seems to be a pretty healthy weight?
• Sassafras isn't a wood used by Ollivander, I'm afraid. If you explain she got the wand from elsewhere that's fine, but otherwise, it'll have to be changed.
• Least favourite lesson is Charms, because she failed once and is now bitter about it. That's fine - kinda cool actually - but her personality doesn't show this bitter or grudging streak anywhere. In fact, it states that she "takes everything with a grain of salt". One would assume that would include failures and/or criticism.
• What role does she play in Quidditch?
• "She is the youngest of 8 siblings and never gets hand me downs." The youngest sibling usually gets hand me downs. Later in the prompt you also say "She had a duty to be the first one in her family..." So is she the youngest or the oldest?
• I have many doubts that the wizarding world are unable to treat premature birth effectively. If they have potions that can regrow bones, I'm sure something exists to ensure a premature baby grows significantly while outside the womb to ensure survival and avoid illness. Furthermore, the wizarding world doesn't have Doctors, but Healers. I also doubt they make one pay for treatment like in America. The wizarding world is more advanced socially in many ways than the Muggle world - if the Muggles had the NHS by then, I'm certain the UK wizards also had universal healthcare.

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@Aislynn
Kendall Price:

Awesome - and accepted - character! You've missed out a couple of female pronouns in the Boggart section, but if you fix them up he can be put in the character tab!

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I'll apologise now if any of the reviews seem a bit short or blunt - it's not my intention and I'm in a bit of a rush posting this so I don't have time to read over everything properly. :)

[BlueSky44]

@Peridot I will point out that the picture is from over 10 years ago... I'll fix it tonight.

[Peridot]

@BlueSky44

Still makes her a decade too old, my dude.

[Hitman]

Ahh I forgot to fix my stuff ill do that soon

[Aislynn]

@Peridot

Kendall Price

Kendall Price

Name:

Kendall Price

Age:

14

Birthday:

November 17th

Sex:

Male

Ethnicity:

Caucasian

Nationality:

Brittish

School Year :

Fourth

Blood Status:

Muggleborn

Hogwarts House:

Gryffindor

You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. Their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.

Pet:

Stella Price- Natterjack Toad

Boggart:

Kendall is terrified of letting people down- so much so that as a child he would cry for hours at the slightest expression of disappointment that was shown toward him. As such, a Boggart would appear to him as a crowd of scornfuil and sad-looking people, all of whom he knows personally and who's opinions of him he deeply cares about. When under the influence of the Riddikulus charm, the disappointed expressions are replaced by pouts as the "people" find themselves dressed in outlandish multicolored clown outfits and plastered with excessive amounts of makeup. Kendall could never bring himself to take anyone who wears too much makeup seriously.

Wand:

Ash wood with a Phoenix feather core, 12 ½" and Solid flexibility

Favourite Lesson:

Defense Against the Dark Arts- Learning of the existence of magic changed Kendall's life forever. Although this is his fourth year at Hogwarts, in some ways, he is still reeling from it. The thought of using magic to protect himself and others offers him a sense of comfort and stability in the fascinating but dangerous world he now finds before him. He also finds the practical nature of the course very appealing. Kendall has never been one for book learning.

Least Favourite Lesson:

Arithmancy- No matter how magical the world is, math is still math. And Kendall still sucks at it.

Extracurricular Activities:

Frog Choir- Kendall has always been a talented singer, but never sang in public before attending Hogwarts. After being roped into it by his best friend during his second year, he found that he actually quite enjoyed performing with the group.

Appearance:

Kendall stands about 5'11, and weighs roughly 175 pounds. He's lanky and uncoordinated, with skinny arms and long legs that give him a distinctive stride when he walks. He has massive feet, which he despises with all of his being since they look so comically disproportional to the rest of his body. Everyone says it means he will get taller, but he refuses to believe it until he's at least 6'2. His hands are rather large as well, but at least his long, thin fingers match the rest of his figure. Kendall's skin is pale white and unblemished, one of the few things about his appearance that he actually likes. That, and his eyes. They're bright blue and expressive, and even with all his insecurities, he has to admit that they're definitely his best feature.

As for clothes, Kendall is perfectly content in his Hogwarts robes. The bagginess of them hides how incredibly skinny he is, but more than that, they make him feel at home. He'd always felt out of place in the Muggle world, and when he dons those robes, be can't help but feel like he's finally found his purpose. He rarely wears jewelry, save for a black bracelet on his left wrist, which he only takes off to shower.

Personality:

"The game isn't worth winning if you're breaking the rules."

This is Kendall's favorite saying, and it sums up well the beliefs that drive him as a person. While not necessary a "follower" when it comes to friend groups and team projects and the like, he's very much a "rules are meant to keep us safe" type of person. That being said, he does possess many leadership qualities. He's very outgoing and appears confident, as his beliefs are very strong and extremely important to him. That is not to say that he doesn't have his insecurities. While Kendall may appear confident, he considers himself to be about average in... well, everything. He's not the most attractive, nor the ugliest person he's ever met. He gets decent grades, but has never been the top of his class. He's clumsy, uncoordinated, and a bit funny looking, so despite the fact that he has never been a "loner", he was never exactly popular either. In fact, until he discovered that he was a wizard, he was firmly under the impression that there was nothing special about him at all.

Kendall loves everything about magic. He loves flying and making potions and casting charms... even after 3 years, it all still fascinates him. He has a great amount of respect for his professors, so much so that it angers him to hear other students insulting them behind their backs, as schoolchildren are bound to do. This has earned him a bit of a reputation as a "goody-two-shoes", and he is somewhat disliked among his house for his tendency to report the misbehavior of his peers. He does not really enjoy being a tattle-tale (A second year even tried to turn him into an actual "rat" once) but he truly believes that what he does is in their best interest.

While not exactly the brightest of students, Kendall genuinely loves school, and has a very good work ethic. When not in classes or choir, he spends most of his time studying, much to the chagrin of his friends. He's one of the few people in his friend group who don't have a tendency to procrastinate. Kendall is by no means opposed to going out and having fun with his friends, but he has always made it clear that his studies come first. Yet he does desire to be there for his friends. As his best friend once said, "Kendall isn't always there when you want him, but he's there when you need him."

Backstory:

Kendall Price was a strange boy. It was not that he did or said anything strange, nor even that he looked odd, but strange occurrences seemed to follow him wherever he went. Despite being adopted as a baby, he had a fairly normal family life. But his "strangeness" did begin to manifest as he was growing up in Newcastle with this parents, Roger and Linda Price, and his two younger sisters, Ellie and Diana. The two young girls always managed to keep the house much louder than he would have liked, but he and Diana tended to get along fairly well. Mostly, the commiserated over their annoyance with their sister. Ellie was the youngest, and by far the most annoying of the bunch. She was constantly teasing Kendall about his orange-red hair, calling him "carrots" (an insult that everyone knew she'd stolen out of Anne of Green Gables, but she still insisted she'd come up with herself.) That was, until she awoke one morning with brilliant neon-orange hair that glowed in the dark. The family assumed that she'd gotten into the cleaning chemicals, for lack of a better explanation, and solved the problem by shaving her head. Ellie was mortified, and while her hair grew back it's normal, black color, she never quite forgave Kendall.

At first, Kendall also thought she must have gotten into the cleaning chemicals and was blaming him out of spite, but as he got older, he began to notice other odd things happening around him. Once, when a teacher began yelling at him for zoning out in class, the screaming suddenly turned into a series of chicken noises, much to the shock of the teacher and the amusement of everyone else. Another time when he was drifting off, he awoke to find a full page of notes in front of him. He could have sworn that as he shook himself awake,, he saw his pen writing on its own for a second. Kendall fell asleep in school quite often, so he figured he was dreaming. He never meant to do it- he was terrified of disappointing his teachers, and he always felt horrible afterwards, but it just kept happening. The noise in his house made it difficult for him to sleep at home, and he had always found school rather boring. He couldn't help but feel like there was something else out there.

That something, as it turned out, was magic. When Kendall received his invitation letter to Hogwarts, he could scarcely believe what he was reading. Had the postage not been delivered by an owl, he likely would have thought it to be a prank. But in a way, it made sense. All of the strange things that had been following him since birth- Ellie's hair, the teacher's chicken noises, the self-writing pen- magic could explain all of it. And for the first time, he was genuinely excited about school. His parents, however, took some convincing. Naturally, at first they thought it to be complete rubbish. In fact, they called a family intervention to convince Kendall that the letter was all made up. But Kendall was certain now that magic existed. Thankfully, family interventions involved the whole family- even his eccentric uncle Edward. Uncle Edward occasionally came over for dinner, and would tell the craziest stories about mystical creatures to entertain Kendall and his sisters. As it turned out, he had been speaking from personal experience. Nobody in the family, aside from him, had ever shown signs of magical ability, and as he was an adult by the time Kendall's mother was born, their parents had never seen any profit in raising her in that world. But as soon as Uncle Ed saw the letter, he was absolutely delighted to share what he knew of the wizarding world with his nephew.

After seeing proof- the magical textbooks Kendall brought home, his wand and robes, the toad who sat patiently on his shoulder- they reluctantly allowed him to attend. Though he had despised it before, Kendall now found himself loving school. He was completely fascinated by everything about magic. Being a rather outgoing person, he was quick to establish a group of friends, though his devotion to his studies and his teachers made him very unpopular with the more rebellious crowd. He loved magic, and the possibilities it brought. For the first time in his life, he began to make goals- grand dreams of making the world a better place. Hogwarts had given him a purpose. He'd finally found his home.

Extra:

Kendall loves animals, especially large dogs. The sight of any dog, in fact, will make him immediately drop whatever he is doing to go fawn over it.

Writing Sample: In Times of Need

This can't be happening... This can NOT be happening...

Kendall's mind reeled as he paced back and fourth through the hall. Everything hurt. His legs ached, his side was bruised, and worst of all his arm was broken in two different places. Between grunts of pain, he cursed his own stupidity. The one time he'd broken the rules... and so soon after arriving at Hogwarts too. He'd come to this place fully intending to become its best student, and in just a few weeks he had already destroyed any chance he had of making a good impression here.I was just so frustrating. If only he hadn't gotten so carried away. But... they could fly. It may have been a normal occurrence for the students who grew up in wizarding families, but for the Muggleborn Kindall, it was the most exciting thing he had ever had the chance to do. From the first day of flying class, he'd become totally addicted to it. The trill of soaring through the air was overwhelming. So when they cancelled flying lessons due to thunderstorms, he couldn't satiate the longing to go out take to the skies. Now that he thought back on it, it was a stupid idea. He'd stolen a broom and gone anyway. At first it was wonderful, soaring through the skies with the rain falling against his face. That is until the wind picked up.

Now he found himself broken and bruised, pacing around the hallway of the seventh floor. It was a miracle he'd been able to cast Alohomora on the window before barreling through it and shattering both the broom and his arm. He'd assumed all of the windows at Hogwarts would have been protected by magic, but he did vaguely remember an accident involving a window, a couple of Quidditch players, and a Bludger happening somewhere around this area. Perhaps by some stroke of luck, the window had just been replaced and they had not yet cast the protection spell on it. Not that it mattered at this point. They'd find the broom missing, or him, or both, or he'd have to go to the nurse's office. Either way, the faculty was going to find out what he did. And they'd be so disappointed... He felt as though he was about to start crying at any moment.

Just as he was about to break down completely, he heard footsteps coming down the hall. This is it, he thought. But he couldn't bring himself to face whoever was coming. He imagined a mob of angry professors, ready to expel him for his recklessness. So he took off down the hall. Yet it seemed the incident with the window was the only bit of luck he was going to have today. As he got closer to the end of the hall, he heard another set of footsteps coming toward him. He turned and bolted the other way, but the sounds of the other person approaching were even closer in that direction. Turning once again, he grabbed the handle of the nearest door, praying it was unlocked. Barely able to move due to the pain and exhaustion, he managed to pull himself inside just as the first oncomer turned the corner.

Thank the heavens, he thought, pinning himself against the inside of the door. He sat panting for a moment, desperately trying to catch his breath as quietly as possible. When he finally looked up, he nearly fainted from shock. The room he now sat in was barely the size of a broom closet, and contained only two objects- a fully intact broom and a vial labelled "Skele-grow", both within grasp of his good arm. He shook his head, certain that he was hallucinating. But as the vile taste of the Skele-Grow began to burn his throat, he knew that this was indeed happening. The process was slow and painful, and although in reality it only took close to three hours, it felt to Kendall as though he spent an eternity writing in pain on the floor of that room. But his arm was once again in working order.

He picked up the broom, still amazed that he had been so lucky. It was the exact make and model of the one he'd stolen. Racing down the stairs, he hoped against hope that nobody would spot him. But there was not a student or teacher in sight. Dinner! he realized with absolute delight. It must be dinnertime! It seemed he was the luckiest boy in the world today. Kendall returned the broom and went straingth back to his dorm, crashing on the bed with a loud sigh. He'd been l;ucky topday, but he scertainly never wanted to go through anything like that for the rest of his life.

"That's it," he said aloud, though nobody was around to hear him. "I am NEVER breaking the rules again."

Fixed the pronouns ^_^ Is he good to go?

[Little Bill]

@Fury Panda Review's up. Feel free to PM me with any questions, comments, or concerns.

Amit Patel

- Amit's name switches between Amit and Amid a few times.

- He didn't speak to his father for years because of an argument over pre-assigned textbooks? And then, without a reason being explained, his dad took him to India last year on a three month vacation for some culture? I don't get if Amit's dad is supposed to be a workaholic asshole, a good dad in spite of his busy occupation, or if there are just a lot of inconsistencies in his family life. I'd like to see them clarified for a clearer view of Amit's relationship with his parents.

- My biggest gripe about Amit is that he is a sheltered fish out of water, but that's not particularly emphasized. Despite having lived in India until he was eight, there is no mention of Indian culture, the political landscape of India at the time (Gaining independence from the nation he's currently in), the Indian magical world, or anything like that. Do kids make fun of him, or is he a cool foreign kid? Does he miss dishes from home he won't find in the Hogwarts mess hall, or is he embarrassed of his culture? Currently we don't know, because Amit's personality is "He was a class clown, now he's straightened up." His name could be Arnie, and mentions of India in his bio changed to America, and he would feel just as foreign. Homie didn't play cricket? No Lattoo? No Lagori? Having a character from another country opens a lot of opportunities to flesh out the magical world, and the only instance of this is that Amit ran into an Occamy a year ago. I don't need your character's dad to have a personal relationship with Mahatma Gandhi, but I'd like to see some emphasis on Amit being Indian.

[Peridot]

@Aislynn
Indeed he is! Feel free to pop him in the character tab! :D

[ZoeMcQueen95]

@Fury Panda
Cool - my co-GM will be posting your review!

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@BlueSky44
Tetra Watson:

• Your faceclaim is 34 years old - hopefully you can see the issue with that.
• "Caucasian", not "Caucasion"
• While her Boggart is good, the riddikulus charm isn't very funny.
• Her appearance alludes to tomboyishness in that she doesn't keep up with trends, is athletic, and plays quidditch, but her personality doesn't seem to mention anything like that?
• Her personality is a tad vague. "She will try to do something, and will not give up until she is either successful, or after several failed attempts." Describes most people on the planet, I would think. When speaking of determination in a character, I would expect something a bit more extreme or unusual for the description. Doing something over and over despite the fact that succeeding is impossible, for example.
• Her backstory doesn't make a lot of sense to me. You've stated that a rift appeared between Tetra and her parents when she started showing signs of magic, but you haven't really elaborated? Why do they yell at her during these unusual occurrences? It's understandable when the Dursley's do it to Harry because they're fully aware of the magical world, and they're trying to borderline beat it out of him. Tetra's parents don't have this knowledge, so it seems odd that they'd react so aggressively to these occurrences. Also, did things get worse or better when they found out about the world of magic? Why did they let her go to Hogwarts and buy all of her school stuff for her if they were so against it? What were her brother's reactions to suddenly knowing about magic? How has she managed to fix things with her parents all of a sudden? It seems strange to me that a character who is kind, loyal, determined, studious, athletic, and attractive is mistreated by her parents for no good reason beyond "She's different".
• While your prompt is passable in terms of spelling and grammar, you've shifted between past and present tense in one of your paragraphs. This makes things quite confusing to read, so you'll need to make sure you don't do it in your IC posts.

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@ZoeMcQueen95
Katherine Mary Mullen:

• Her picture is great, but doesn't seem to correlate with her written appearance all that much? The picture shows a girl with dark hair, dark eyes, no freckles, and she seems to be a pretty healthy weight?
• Sassafras isn't a wood used by Ollivander, I'm afraid. If you explain she got the wand from elsewhere that's fine, but otherwise, it'll have to be changed.
• Least favourite lesson is Charms, because she failed once and is now bitter about it. That's fine - kinda cool actually - but her personality doesn't show this bitter or grudging streak anywhere. In fact, it states that she "takes everything with a grain of salt". One would assume that would include failures and/or criticism.
• What role does she play in Quidditch?
• "She is the youngest of 8 siblings and never gets hand me downs." The youngest sibling usually gets hand me downs. Later in the prompt you also say "She had a duty to be the first one in her family..." So is she the youngest or the oldest?
• I have many doubts that the wizarding world are unable to treat premature birth effectively. If they have potions that can regrow bones, I'm sure something exists to ensure a premature baby grows significantly while outside the womb to ensure survival and avoid illness. Furthermore, the wizarding world doesn't have Doctors, but Healers. I also doubt they make one pay for treatment like in America. The wizarding world is more advanced socially in many ways than the Muggle world - if the Muggles had the NHS by then, I'm certain the UK wizards also had universal healthcare.

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@Aislynn
Kendall Price:

Awesome - and accepted - character! You've missed out a couple of female pronouns in the Boggart section, but if you fix them up he can be put in the character tab!

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I'll apologise now if any of the reviews seem a bit short or blunt - it's not my intention and I'm in a bit of a rush posting this so I don't have time to read over everything properly. :)

@Peridot

I can fix my CS. I will do that tonight.

[Hitman]

Thomas Kjell Bergström

Name:
Thomas Kjell Bergström

Age:
15

Birthday:
March 17th

Sex:
Male

Ethnicity:
Caucasian

Nationality:
Swedish

School Year :
5th

Blood Status:
Muggle-Born

Hogwarts House:
Gryffindor

The Hat saw traits of Hufflepuff in the boy, but it was clear to the Sorting Hat that Tom belonged in Gryffindor. He was courageous, daring, curious, and willing to put everything on the line for those he holds dear.

Pet:
Erik (Bengal Cat)

Tom loves the damned thing to death. It's excellent at catching rats and is ferociously loyal.

Boggart:
A giant, disgusting rat ---> a fat rat wearing a comical clown suit (I know, I'm not funny, this is the bes i can do I'm sorry please give me advice or something i dunno)

Tom hates rats. Back in Sweden they were a constant nuisance for the family and many of them bit Tom. Obviously, a giant one would be rather frightful for the boy.

Wand:
Sycamore, Unicorn hair, 12.5 inches, quite rigid

The sycamore makes a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities. It is a quirk of these handsome wands that they may combust if allowed to become ‘bored,’ and many witches and wizards, settling down into middle age, are disconcerted to find their trusty wand bursting into flame in their hand as they ask it, one more time, to fetch their slippers. As may be deduced, the sycamore’s ideal owner is curious, vital and adventurous, and when paired with such an owner, it demonstrates a capacity to learn and adapt that earns it a rightful place among the world's most highly-prized wand woods.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.
Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may 'die' and need replacing.

Favourite Lesson:
D.A.D.A.

His passion. Gets great marks.

Least Favourite Lesson:
History of Magic

If the rat was suddenly purged from existence, this would probably be his Boggart. Horrifying....ly boring.

Extracurricular Activities:
Gryffindor Chaser at Quidditch

Significantly talented at Quidditch. Open to joining other clubs.

Appearance:

I know, I know. Have a moment to take it all in.

Standing at 5’7” and weighing in at 129 pounds, Tom has put on quite a bit of muscle from Muggle sports in his early years and Quidditch (as well as running from troube) at Hogwarts. His sinewy figure has caused him to become rather attractive. He has light beige, rather fair skin, and his hair takes a light shade of blonde, though it is darker near the top of his head. He has bright, blue eyes with a sort of determined look to them and fairly light skin.

Tom normally wears the standard dress code required for Hogwarts, and sports a scarlet red pair of dress robes. When in Muggle settings, anything will do for him.

Personality:

”I know it’s the Forbidden Forest. I'm finding out why it's forbidden!

Tom is naturally questing, fun-loving and sociable. Tom is incredibly extroverted and enjoys spending time out and about. He is naturally inquisitive and curious, enjoys new experiences, making new friends, and even putting his foot over the line every so often. He’s audacious, brave, and willing to defy the odds.

“Do you have a map? ‘Cause I'm getting lost in your eyes.”

Tom is also naturally a flirt and is easily smitten by just about anybody, no matter house. Whether it’s in Binns’s class, the halls, or in the middle of Quidditch practice, Tom doesn’t mind throwing out a pick-up line or so. While he’s often just teasing, he does have his eyes on a few students in particular. Tom is also a teasing person, but he attempts to make sure that his words aren’t taken seriously.

“What did you call me?”

Tom is quite easily angered and holds grudges that can last for long times. He lacks self-restraint and once he is fired up, it’s difficult to cool him off again. He despises bullies and people who care deeply about blood purity. He holds himself to high moral standards and would never dare pull a move himself.

Backstory:

Tom was born in Malmö, Sweden, to two Muggles, though the family later moved to the countryside. Tom showed early signs of magic in his youth, such as levitating kitchen pans, breaking glasses, and even hovering slightly. His family just thought these were tricks of the light or such, but Tom felt that he had something else. Tom grew to admire Muggle magicians such as Harry Houdini, Harry Blackstone Senior, and Jasper Maskelyne, and aspired to one day be able to perform magic like them.

At age 7, Tom's family packed their bags and moved again to London, where the economy was booming so Tom's family could find a job. This put him on the list for the Quill of Acceptance, as Tom was, in fact, a muggle-born wizard, a fact that would not have been recognized by Durmstrangs if the family had remained in Sweden. Tom had gotten a lucky break. Divine intervention? (No.)

When the letter from Hogwarts came, Tom was, of course, greatly surprised, but the fact that he was a wizard felt right to him. He had known there was something different, and now, he had confirmed it. His parents, on the other hand, were absolutely shocked out of their minds that their son would be leaving for a magic school. It took a long time for the parents to finally accept the fact that their son would be shooting lightning out of a wooden stick like the fairy tales, and still remained skeptical of wizarding society, but Tom thinks that they have turned over a new leaf in the way they look at wizards.

Tom arrived at Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor with little hesitation on the Hat's part. He made several friends, both inside and outside of his House, and several enemies due to the tensions with blood purity. Tom's teachers were also mostly not thrilled with him, due to the fact that his efforts in the classes- with the exception of D.A.D.A.- were very limited.

This is his 5th year as a student at Hogwarts, where Tom hopes to be able to enjoy a fulfilling time at the school while also getting good OWL grades (at least in D.A.D.A.)

Extra:

-Owns a Cleansweep. It’s battered, and he wants a new one.

-Has earned a reputation as a troublemaker and has attended more than 100 detentions in his time at Hogwarts. Definitely ruled out as a prefect.

-Can speak both English and Swedish fluently. And has a very slight Swedish accent.

prompteroni

It was about 10:00 PM or so in Hogwarts Castle, and Tom was sprinting through the halls. He had just been returning to the Gryffindor commons when Pringle saw him. Luckily, the Caretaker had not seen his face, so if he could only find a hiding spot, he would be in the clear. He just needed a place to hide, just for a moment. He reached the 7th floor and stopped. There was nowhere left to run. He could hear Pringle’s feet and knew he was gaining on him. He angrily paced the room. He was going to miss Quidditch practice again because of detention, he knew it. He just needed a place to hide from the angry caretaker.

He opened his eyes and stopped his pacing when he saw a large door in front of him. Curiously, he walked through. Inside, there was a small space, not exactly roomy, but enough to hide in. Tom squeezed into the area, and the door shut behind him. He could hear the Caretaker run past, and he grinned. Thank God for this room, whatever the hell it was.

He would be back tomorrow to see how exactly the room worked.

Damn rip, i tried.

[ZoeMcQueen95]

I hope this one is better than before, if not just let me know and I can fix it if necessary.

Katherine Mary Mullen

Name:
Katherine Mary Mullen

Age:
14

Birthday:
August 14th

Sex:
Female

Ethnicity:
Irish

Nationality:
Irish

School Year:
Fourth year

Blood Status:
Pureblood

Hogwarts House:
Gryffindor

Pet:
Tabby Calico Cat mix

Boggart:
Rats that turn into small bouncy balls when the Riddikulus Charm.

Wand:
The wand is made of ebony and has a core of unicorn hair. It is 12 and 1/2 inches long and is somewhat springy. It is somewhat darkly colored and is ornately carved with a few Irish symbols.

Favourite Lesson:
Potions is her favourite lesson because it comes naturally to her. She prefers that class over every other class in the school.

Least Favourite Lesson:
Charms is her least favourite lesson because she must work harder at it than she used to. In her first couple of years at school, Katherine loved Charms class with the teacher, until she failed a test that she thought she had passed with flying colours. Since then, she’s hated the class and sometimes she’s hated the teacher.

Extracurricular Activities:
Katherine is a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, she is a Keeper.

Appearance:
Katherine has crystal clear bright green eyes, with flecks of blue and brown in them. She has a rounded face with a few freckles with a clear complexion that compliment her face. Her ratty, dark brown hair, when down, reaches halfway down her back. However, when her hair is up, it is most likely usually in a braid that doesn't reach too far down her back.

Katherine is of average height and weight. She’s pretty for your average 14-year-old girl, but she never brags about it.

Personality:
Katherine is quite shy when you first get to meet her. She barely opens up to anyone, not even to her own parents. Katherine is pretty modest about being a bright student, while people congratulate her for her accomplishments in school, she usually says thank you and is done with it. Katherine has never held a grudge against anyone, except for her Charms teacher after she failed one of her tests she was so sure that she had passed.

When it comes to other’s problems, she sets hers aside and usually helps others first. Katherine practices the art of empathy more than anything else. She shuns the richer, more stuck up kids for their selfish ways. She observes people and is usually in the background more than she is in the action with others.

Despite her ambitious ways, Katherine is rarely ever risk-taking. She tends to be more courteous to others, even when the situation doesn’t demand her to be there.

Katherine had never had problems in school before she started at Hogwarts. When she entered her Charms class, s
Backstory:
Katherine was born as the youngest member of her family. She is the youngest of eight siblings and always gets hand me downs.

In descending age order, her brothers are Michael, Johnathan, Timothy, Alexander, and her sisters are Mira, Jordan, and Tiffany. It was never easy for her growing up in a family of eight, especially as the youngest. The house that Katherine and her family has lived in for many years was always nice and cozy if not a bit large for a family of limited means.

Katherine has always had issues making friends. It was never easy for her to open up to other people about her problems. She never considers herself a member of upper class society, more a member of the middle to lower class society. While they’re taking care of her siblings, her parents never have any time with her anymore.

Extra:
Broom is the Comet 260, unknown release year, the wood of the broom has been carved in ornately by Katherine herself to distinguish it from other brooms of the same make and model.

Writing Prompt

As a young first year at Hogwarts, Katherine was still attempting to adjust to the larger amount of students in her school. It wasn't easy, when generations of her Irish family had caused mischief and mayhem in the school. She ran down one of the long corridors attempting to make it to Herbology on time, she had been late only once during her first year, but never more than once. The halls were sparse, only a few wide eyed and scared first years were present in the halls trying to locate classes again. One of the halls that Katherine had run down was completely vacant, free of any students. Katherine had tried to go down that hallway again, but arrived at the same location each time. Attempting a third pass by the bare wall got her no where. Was it possible that she had gotten turned around and got lost? Not much else could be said, for the vast school was a maze for anyone, whether they were new or they had been attending the school for a couple of years.

She needed a shortcut to Herbology, and Katherine had run past a bare wall that looked like it should have contained a door to a room. A voice rang out to her. "Come closer." It said to her. Katherine was perplexed as she passed the door. "That's it." There was the ghostly voice again. She shrugged her shoulders as she passed the door a third time, Katherine felt the fear mount inside as she walked towards the cold, bare wall. As Katherine took a few more shaky steps towards the wall, getting later and later to class, a large semi-oval door appeared. The door didn't open automatically, like she thought it would. She pressed her hands on the door lightly and it opened without her having to use the force of her body on a door she thought was heavier than it was.

As the ornately carved door opened, Katherine noticed a small hole that led her outside. But how could that be? She was on the seventh floor of Hogwarts. She took one step in the room and she watched as the door shut behind her. She slowly placed one shaky foot in front of the other in order to propel herself towards the light at the end. Katherine was clutching her text books tightly, causing her knuckles and fingers to lose all feeling in them. As the end of the tunnel neared, Katherine was now more desperate to make it to class in only under two minutes until the teacher would take role. Now full on sprinting, Katherine had exited the tunnel, perfectly in front of the greenhouse. Much to the surprise of other students her age as seeing a kid pop out of thin air, making it to class on time. Katherine took her seat and waited for role to be taken, thinking of that hall on the seventh floor of the school. She would definitely be making her way back to that door again.

[Peridot]

I'll be returning replies and reviews in a bit, but for now let me say Merry Christmas! Hope you all have an awesome day! :D

[MissCapnCrunch]

Hope everyone had a happy holiday :) New Years right around the corner.

[Peridot]

@Agent 47
Great changes! As for your concerns about the riddikulus charm, it's more than fine. If Thomas finds it funny, then it'll work! He's accepted, and can be put in the character tab. :)

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@ZoeMcQueen95
Good changes, but there are still a handful of issues:
- For one, we'll need more description in her appearance. While it lists all of her features just fine, we need a bit more. Good examples are things like "sticks tongue out while concentrating", or "her nose crinkles up when she smiles", or "has a tendency to snort when laughing"- anything to make her feel a bit more realistic.
- While you've mentioned the grudge against the Charms teacher, why just him? It's strange for a child to harbour only one grudge against one person if they're being irrational about it. It doesn't really fit in with the rest of her personality unless you mentioned it as a common and somewhat visible flaw of hers, not a one-off occurrence.
- Her personality finishes on an unfinished sentence?
- While you've clarified that she's the youngest now, her backstory is very sparse. All you've mentioned are her sibling's names and how many she has, and also what societal class she is. Where's the detail? She's the youngest of 8, and you've not mentioned anything about her relationships with them, what they got up to while they were at Hogwarts, what they do now, or really anything about their - or her - life before Hogwarts. Why was life hard for her being the youngest in the family? Was she bullied, or teased by the older ones? Is there a large age gap so she never had a friend of her own/near age? Was the family particularly poor so they couldn't afford anything? The only mention of her parents is that they don't have time for her anymore because "they're taking care of her siblings". If she's the youngest of 8, then her siblings will either be in Hogwarts with her, or will have graduated and be adults. Why would they need looking after?

Still a bit of fixing up to do, I'm afraid.

[Fury Panda]

Amit has been added to the character tab

[Peridot]

ANNOUNCEMENT

@Deadbeatwalking@MissCapnCrunch@KazAlkemi@Ejected@Elkhar@Garden Gnome@Aislynn@Fury Panda@Typhon@valckyriie@NameUserOf@HushedWhispers@PhunkyPhoebe@PastelWriter@TheHangedMan@SouffleGirl123@Agent 47@sassy1085@BlueSky44@Furiosa@eldarionI@Italicized@BingTheWing@ZoeMcqueen95

Hello all! Things have been a bit slow recently due to Christmas (I haven't even had time to finish my characters), but this is to let you all know that I'll be aiming to have the first IC post up on January 4th. I have a couple of exams the week after that so I may disappear briefly, but not for very long. For those who have yet to finish or post a CS, don't worry too much - while I may still be allowing character applications after the IC starts, it's just preferable to have everyone finished by then. Hope I didn't miss anyone off.

Also, for those who have been accepted, start thinking about character relations! I've not made a proper character relationship sheet, just a key that you'll find below. It's just something you can tag on the end of your CS. Your character's will have known one another for either 4 or 5 years, via houses, classes, extracurricular activities, or simply knowing them from word of mouth and seeing them in corridors. Feel free to discuss in here, or via PM. :)

Character Relationship Key

Dating - Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend. This relation must be reciprocated.
Crush - Who your character likes romantically. This can be unrequited, and also used alongside another relation. (E.G. Two strangers may have crushes on one another, but may not know.)
Best Friend - This relation can be unrequited. (One person may consider another to be their Best Friend, but it doesn't always work both ways.)
Friend - This relation must be reciprocated.
Acquaintance - This relation must be reciprocated.
Stranger - This relation must be reciprocated.
Rival - Disliking someone, but not to the extent of making them your enemy or hating them. This can be unrequited.
Enemy - This can be unrequited.

[MissCapnCrunch]

Woohoo so excited! Feel free to send me message or talk to me on here for character relationship ideas! :)

[Fury Panda]

@MissCapnCrunch Hey there, was just looking over your sheet and realized both of our characters favorite subjects are Herbology. With Amit being a year younger, maybe you had tutored him to some extent in the past, or at least helped him with a project he was having difficulty with. Enough to know each others names and such but clearly not to spend time together outside of classes.

[Aislynn]

@KazAlkemi Wanna be friends? While they are in opposing houses (which could be a source for some mutual teasing, especially with Aibhlinn's tendency toward sarcasm) I feel like their devotion to their studies would give them some common ground. Kendall would, at the very least, admire her determination and her tenancy to defend others, since they are both traits that are very important to him. I think they could have an interesting friendship dynamic.

[Aislynn]

Woohoo so excited! Feel free to send me message or talk to me on here for character relationship ideas! :)

@MissCapnCrunch

Also to everyone else, same here!