[OOC] Kurai Majoko: Dark Magical Girls

[TheWendil]

@A Lowly Wretch

Going off of what KoL has already responded to, are the fears that she draws off of general universal fears or specific fears? I feel if they drew from a more common and universal pool, they'd be more balanced power-wise. The fear reading is a bit too powerful just as KoL said and I suggest limiting the total summons she has at hand to 3-4.

Secondly, this RP is taking place in Japan. Unless there's a good reason why she has a Western name here or a reason she's in Japan as a Westerner as KoL said; if not, please change it to fit.

Next, can you explain what exactly her weapon does? You've just mentioned what it is but does it serve any specific purpose?

Lastly, I don't really have a problem with her backstory. These are Dark Magical Girls after all so a little despair is fine. I am wondering, however, about the afromentioned Western origins in Japan. Was her father doing a commission in Japan or was her mother Japanese? Make sure to make this more clear. As far as I'm concerned though, the rest of her backstory is fine.

[Polaris North]

@TheWindel @KoL

Since you mentioned Westerners and the fact that their presence in Japan should be explained through the backstory, would you guys mind if I edited my reasoning into Alex's sheet? I'd forgotten to do so before.

[TheWendil]

@Polaris North

That would be fine.

[A Lowly Wretch]

@TheWindel@KoL To answer your concerns, I'll start with the topic of her summons.

Firstly, she is limited to three summons at the practical maximum. One summon for her off-hand and one for each leg. By writing a fear's name upon a limb that limb of hers is rendered inert, useless. After three summons she is basically immobile, save a single arm with which to crawl with if absolutely necessary.

As for her range of summons to choose from her pool is limited by the people nearby her. By herself she has only one or two fears to draw upon, her own. Her own fears are the ones she is least likely to call upon anyways since she fears bringing them out. If she's surrounded solely by nightmares who don't count for the purposes of her magic then she'll only have a selection of two fears to call upon as her last resort.

As for her ability to see fears it only really shows her the name that said fears are classified under. It's less telepathy and more hints suggesting themes pertaining to people's characteristics and backgrounds, nothing so definite as to draw any major conclusions since everyone has fears to some degree, even if it's just jumpiness around mice. If it's too much I can alter the power so the names appear in a general list compiled from everyone nearby meaning she wouldn't be able to see people through her power and also won't be able to attribute any one particular fear to someone without having to be completely alone with them as even passerbyes contribute fears.

As for the summons themselves I can always trim the powers to the desired level of power. She is meant to be something of a glass cannon summoner, the highly fragile pin that the entire setup depends upon to exist. The strength of her magic depends highly upon preparation as well, the process required to conjure forth the avatars requiring a fair investment of time to both conjure the ink and write them into reality. With that in mind if you still feel her summons simply don't meet up with the general power level of the cast I can always adjust them as needed.

As for how scary the avatars are that's a bit trickier. They are meant to be the physical embodiments of people's fears after all. None of the selections for their appearances I've picked out have been particularly gruesome and the implied violence these avatars can wreak is no less than any blade or gun. As there is a strict no killing clause to the club the violence will be entirely centered on nightmares anyways.

In regards to Daisy's weapon, the quill, it's sole purpose is to harness the power of the ink. An extraordinary ink calls for an equally extraordinary writing tool after all. In combat the worst her weapon could offer is a mean poke.

As for Daisy's background I do suppose I wasn't explicitly clear in regards to that. Her mother is Irish and her father is English. When they married Daniel bought an estate just a ways out of the city and immigrated to Japan so he could continue his work without too much interruption.

I must ask, given how Miso City is an unusual town plagued with evil would more... Unusual acquisitions be a possibility? Things of a black market variety perhaps? I ask since it might play into her father's work later, should she be accepted that is.

I thank you for being understanding regarding her backstory. I shall await your appraisals and answer any questions to the best of my ability.

[TheWendil]

Firstly, she is limited to three summons at the practical maximum. One summon for her off-hand and one for each leg. By writing a fear's name upon a limb that limb of hers is rendered inert, useless. After three summons she is basically immobile, save a single arm with which to crawl with if absolutely necessary.

@A Lowly Wretch

I meant limited in her pool as a whole. As in, she only has 3-4 summons in total, be it summoned or kept on hold with no more exceeding that. Or in other words, cut down on the summons she has to 3-4.

As for the summons themselves I can always trim the powers to the desired level of power. She is meant to be something of a glass cannon summoner, the highly fragile pin that the entire setup depends upon to exist. The strength of her magic depends highly upon preparation as well, the process required to conjure forth the avatars requiring a fair investment of time to both conjure the ink and write them into reality. With that in mind if you still feel her summons simply don't meet up with the general power level of the cast I can always adjust them as needed.

@A Lowly Wretch

I'll leave this for KoL to decide and tweak upon.

As for how scary the avatars are that's a bit trickier. They are meant to be the physical embodiments of people's fears after all. None of the selections for their appearances I've picked out have been particularly gruesome and the implied violence these avatars can wreak is no less than any blade or gun. As there is a strict no killing clause to the club the violence will be entirely centered on nightmares anyways.

@A Lowly Wretch

I'm fine with this. KoL just has a weak stomach.

In regards to Daisy's weapon, the quill, it's sole purpose is to harness the power of the ink. An extraordinary ink calls for an equally extraordinary writing tool after all. In combat the worst her weapon could offer is a mean poke.

As for Daisy's background I do suppose I wasn't explicitly clear in regards to that. Her mother is Irish and her father is English. When they married Daniel bought an estate just a ways out of the city and immigrated to Japan so he could continue his work without too much interruption.

@A Lowly Wretch

This is fine; just be sure to add it into her CS.

I must ask, given how Miso City is an unusual town plagued with evil would more... Unusual acquisitions be a possibility? Things of a black market variety perhaps? I ask since it might play into her father's work later, should she be accepted that is.

@A Lowly Wretch

Can you elaborate on this. Do you mean trinkets and other objects? Or something like cursed possessions?

[A Lowly Wretch]

@TheWindel - My apologies. I did mention that in an edit as an afterthought but it seems I underestimated your celerity. If you'd prefer I could stipulate that once three are chosen she cannot select a new roster of fears for the duration of that night.

As for her father Daniel he is not aware of the arcane yet. He would be looking for less... socially welcoming components to his art, like cadavers to name one example. If such things aren't acquirable that is fine. Just a curiosity.

[Noxx]

@TheWindel I'd like to apply

[KoL]

@A Lowly Wretch

The issue I was talking about the appearances is less about the pictures and more about you not overdoing things with the descriptions in game. I would like to avoid gory or disturbing stuff in this as much as possible. You can have those powers but avoid going graphical.

Also, I can't approve of any form of power to see people's fears just because it could lead to a lot of extra work in order to think about what everyone she looks at fears, even if it's just a vague idea or anything like this, it's still a chore. Not to say that it would force everyone to have to label their fears and forcefully act based on them, which can lead to a whole other set of problems.

As far as the specific powers go, no unblockable attacks, or pretty much insta-kill attacks like burying people alive would be a pretty good beginning for a review.

@Noxx

You're welcome.

[Noxx]

@KoL

I have an idea for a character that's a member of both light and dark because she'd have Disassociative Identity Disorder (DiD)

[KoL]

@KoL

I have an idea for a character that's a member of both light and dark because she'd have Disassociative Identity Disorder (DiD)

@Noxx

I'm afraid that won't do. Please just pick one side or the other. Also, if possible, avoid mentally ill characters, unless you are willing to roleplay them consistently, instead of taking advantage of the "cool" traits and forgetting the reason why they are called illnesses in first place.

[TheWendil]

My apologies. I did mention that in an edit as an afterthought but it seems I underestimated your celerity. If you'd prefer I could stipulate that once three are chosen she cannot select a new roster of fears for the duration of that night.

@A Lowly Wretch

I would still prefer her to not have so many summons in total. Please limit it down to 3-4.

As for her father Daniel he is not aware of the arcane yet. He would be looking for less... socially welcoming components to his art, like cadavers to name one example. If such things aren't acquirable that is fine. Just a curiosity.

@A Lowly Wretch

I'll allow this with careful observation.

[ERode]

Hm, just a thought...but is burying people alive actually an instant kill? All things considered, I would imagine that our characters are strong enough to blast through dirt fairly easily. Along a similar vein of thought, an unblockable attack doesn't necessarily equate to an undodgeable attack, nor does it mean it's a fatal attack.

[Noxx]

@KoL

you'll have to explain what you mean, its an illness...whats cool about it, not trying to be rude i just don't outright understand what you mean

[Lonewolf685]

@Noxx

Because some people would use that as short hand for writing an inconsistent character without any logic behind it. It's hard to accept that idea unless you want to put up a real nice Sample Post to demonstrate it.

Though in this instance since split personalities aren't going to affect the actual body it would be impossible to be Light and Dark since no matter how much one may try to be good, the other is going to be corrupting the body by absorbing Nightmares. So in this case, they'd be two personalities on one side, just one wants to be there and the other doesn't.

[KoL]

Hm, just a thought...but is burying people alive actually an instant kill? All things considered, I would imagine that our characters are strong enough to blast through dirt fairly easily. Along a similar vein of thought, an unblockable attack doesn't necessarily equate to an undodgeable attack, nor does it mean it's a fatal attack.

@ERode

Some of them may be strong enough for that, but earth is heavy and you can get stuck pretty easily if you aren't really, really super strong. Most of the characters are at top human capacities and that's no where near enough to wrench themselves from an early entombing.

A completely unblockable attack from an opponent that can phase thought the ground and other solid objects can lead to some pretty one-sided fights, cheap fights indeed.

Lastly, Iron maidens would cause massive damage to pretty much any of the characters in the RP with seemingly no good way to avoid if they are combined with some of those other avatars.

Just picture Iron Maiden, plus entombing, plus death hacking at you while you suffocate slowly and bleed to death. This is the kind of thing I see and that I can't allow to happen.

The magical girls are strong, but none of them are super strong or super durable if it's not one of their specific abilities. Just much better than an normal person, or even a top athlete, but not super human.

[TheWendil]

@floodtalon, @blackdragon, @Unlucky0013, @ERode, @A Lowly Wretch.

I'm going to be switching around teams to make things a little more smoother.

@floodtalon and @ERode will be partnered together since I suspect @Unlucky0013 will be taking some time to make a post; as such, they will be paired with my character. That means @A Lowly Wretch and @blackdragon will be a team now.

[Noxx]

@KoL Do I put my submission here in the ooc or pm it, mainly wanna run the magic typing over anything else

[Lonewolf685]

@Noxx
Post here OOC.

[KoL]

@Noxx

What @Lonewolf685 said. You can put it here just like everyone else, it would be more convenient for us this way.

[A Lowly Wretch]

@TheWindel@KoL

It seems you both are under the impression that the avatars are under latent control, all able to coordinate attacks with precision like so. The truth is without Daisy to issue commands the avatars all operate as they see fit with the end goal being to ensure Daisy's safety. All of the Avatars might seem fairly strong but they do disappear after Daisy's death. I can certainly tell you that if Daisy were to bring up three avatars then a girl with functional use over only one of her arms and none of her legs will certainly not be putting up much of a fight.

Furthermore, all of the avatars have their weaknesses, trade-offs that balance their powers. On top of being made of soft dirt Taphophobia is much less effective in urban environments where concrete covers most of the earth and it's hands can't reach beyond the basement floor of basically any building. Mastigophobia can be quite easily outran since it's little legs afford it very weak mobility. Also, not only is it's power to lure people highly circumstantial but it is also resistible for those with formidable willpower. Even Thanatophobia, the one I made the strongest on account of being the most universal fear known, has weaknesses that can be exploited. Deadly as it might be it's not particularly hardy and is quite vulnerable to martial arts or any opponent that's fast and physically strong.

And as I've said, Daisy is the weakest of them all.

Limiting the number of summons she can call upon to the number of usable limbs she can call them upon or less goes entirely against the archetype of the multitool summoner class. As a fragile summoner she depends entirely on her retinue to resolve conundrums and as a result of her limb sacrifice mechanic picking which avatar she wants to bring out becomes all the more important when she knows there's no attacks she'll be able to effectively dodge or block once her crew is assembled.

Though I never mentioned explicitly I had it planned so that avatars that are defeated cannot return to combat for at least a couple nights. If that's not enough however I could even make it so that she can only bring out one avatar at a time (Even though that would pretty much invalidate the whole sacrifice mechanic). Limiting the number of avatars she can choose from Ever not only kills any degree of creativity that could be had with this feature but effectively makes her weaker than pretty much every other magical girl on account of the fact that she's rendered almost immobile by her magic and can be separated from her main form of attack unlike everyone else who are pretty much a condensed package that can operate at maximum efficiency from the moment they transform. Daisy's powers require her to make smart choices not only in choosing her avatars but also in directing them, choosing a vantage point which allows her to relay commands without being too close to the thick of combat and maintaining awareness of her foes so none of them slip past her avatars and make mince meat of her.

_
Look, I get it. Nothing about my character is appealing to either of you. Pretty much every feature of her which separates her from being pretty much a blank slate is something you'd reluctantly allow or flat out deny. I can see that even if you were to allow her in from the moment I started any sort of development for her would be met with wall after wall. From the very concept of a summoner to the fact she's too spooky for KoL, nothing about her strikes either of your tastes.

And that's fine. Really it is. Seeing this as it is I'm fine with yielding this effort and turning my focus elsewhere. I'm not one to rub up against a brick wall needlessly and I'm sure you'd prefer to turn your attention back to posting and away from arguing character balance in the OOC. It's something that I accept.

With that said I'll await your verdict. I'm fine with compromise but removing the core concepts seems less like compromise and more like a classic scrapping. Err as you see fit, I shan't judge.