@my LaliaPlural form of members of the Zabrak species is Zabrak, not Zabrak’s or Zabraks.
Your list of flaws don’t really feel… personal… They have a textbook quality to them. They’re decent flaws, but they don’t feel like they belong to that character. Could you try to make them more personal for Blokere?
It wouldn’t hurt to do the same for racial traits. You can simplify that section quite a lot. Besides, racial traits include both boons and flaws. Keeping all the bits that are rooted in being Zabrak there rather than in the flaws might help Blokere claim the flaws for himself better.
On skills:
Mastering even a single lightsaber form takes decades. He could be pretty good with one, but no mastery, let alone with two forms. Maybe experienced with the two?
On bio:
First of all… How old was he upon being taken by the Jedi? The earlier he got taken, the less he would have learned from family and clan.
Secondly: The first half of the second paragraph is unrealistically idealistic. Parents are notorious for loving their children and not being willing to give them up. “because it is best for him” is an argument that rarely computes in the mind of a mother/father if that means giving up your child. Especially an only child.
The younger the child is, the easier it is to give it up. That is one of the reasons the Jedi prefer to take children when they’re still very young. Another reason is to have more of a blank template to work with. With the lessons given here, it seems like many years passed before the Jedi took him.
Thirdly: Telekinesis isn’t an easy skill to learn. Its not typically the first sign that appears. To attentive parents, other signs would appear much earlier, like unusually acute senses or objects moving randomly about. Being able to make a dropped object hover requires practice, especially when it is unexpectedly dropped.
Fourthly. The Rite of Passage. When that time came around, they would not send him alone. For practical reasons, they would probably send another Zabrak Jedi with him, as one of the same species would have a better understanding of the rites of passage. With The Jedi order having members in the tens of thousands, finding another Zabrak Iridonian would be no trouble at all. He would go through the rite, then be taken back to finish his training. Other than what the rites demanded, he wouldn’t have much contact with family, just like all other Jedi don’t have significant contact with their birth families (exempting when said families are also Jedi).
Fifthly… Zabrak are no more vulnerable to the dark side than other species. They’re fiercely independent and good warriors, but they are not more susceptible to the Dark side than other species. There are countless Jedi of renown who are Zabrak. Their independence and skill at combat make them excellent Jedi Guardians.
Sixthly: Lightsaber crystals don’t merely lie around on the ground. They generally have to grow in the right sort of places. Perhaps a better option would be for it to be a parting gift from his Iridonian clan?
Seventhly: Force powers he has should be rooted in how he is trained and what he specializes at. Some choices come from innate talent, but most are taught and/or learned through need. Skills like advanced Tutaminis are not easy to learn and are typically rather rare. Empathy is most often based on an innate talent. If he’s a loner, then empathy probably isn’t a thing for him.
Eighthly: The Jedi Order is very strict on Jedi not having any significant contact with their families, especially not during their training. When they’re all grown up and knighted, they might visit as their free time allows, but they mostly don’t have time for it. The bonds are too weak when compared to the bonds they have to the Order.
Fallenreaper’s Additions
Flaw:One flaw you forgot, myLalia, was the fact Zabrak can’t take damage to either of their hearts because it will kill them. Other than that, you did a pretty good job on the species flaws. Though like Ellri suggested, I would add one or two flaws linked more to himself than his race.
Force Powers: I don’t see where Revitalization cames into his list of skills as there’s no mention of him learning it in the history or why his Tuminis is more adv. The adv Tuminis, if you're referencing Jayda's sheet, is more directly tied to her as PC development then trait tied to her race. He doesn't have to have this unless you feel it fits his character.
History: There’s major flaws, namely when I match it up with my timeline a bit, seeing as Blokere and Jayda are around the same age.
When each Zabrak child is given their rites, the emotional and physical by their same gender parent (Though a Zabrak Jedi could replace the parent due to the circumstance I believe or done under supervision) and it’s a private matter rather than public, the last, the Social Rite, is done during the Rising Festival. This tends to be a large event between related clans where all the children and adults engaged in fun activities, I think of it like a huge feast or family reunion where adults chatter while watching the children play, both engaging in many different games and fun together. Then at the end, all the younger children around the Rites age and below would go small game hunting for the feast's highlight. Since Jayda and Blokere were the same age, it’s highly possible these two had their Social Rite at the same time and during the Rising Festival, allowing them to have become decent friends. However it might not be ideal to have the master be present because it risks Jayda and her brother being discovered by Jedi, instead of Sith, altering my bio drastically. Not to mention the points Ellri made which would prevent it. As long as the rite involves another Clan, not the family one, than it is considered passed.
Another thing, it doesn’t make sense that the other Zabrak would isolate Jayda and her family especially since Blokere is also force sensitive. The only time they would scorn a Zabrak was if they refused, for some reason, to take their Res Seleoren and become Tlestri which they are outcasted by their family or risk to be subjected to the Blood Hunt, where family members end up hunting them to regain their honor. Nothing like blood shed between
In addition by the time her mother was injured, Jayda’s Res Selenoren were already over and she was no longer considered a child. Instead she was a nineteen year old Zabrak adult, the Rite usually taken around puberty, There’s only one way an adult Zabrak would still be considered a child even well into their adulthood was when they fail one of them before they turned 16. A rarity really so I know you likely don’t meant that. :p Also, her brother was already in the city capital and been there for some time, training. I can suggest an alternative, Blokere could’ve spotted her departing when he arrived the 2nd time on the homeworld. She would've been riding a Reek toward the city. Since he knew she was force sensitive, he could’ve contacted a local Jedi to contact and ‘recruit’ her. This would prevent direct contact and been later informed of two deaths at the residence her brother was at. From there he could draw his own conclusions based on how well you determine he knows Jayda. Which we can determine over pms if you like as the rp is ongoing.
Final point, no one learns about the Temple attack until it happens which is when Lyric informs them.
Addendum from Ellri: From the moment of the Sacking till anyone heard anything at all from, or about, coruscant took a couple of days, and even then, it would only be known to a select few. To the larger galaxy, Coruscant simply dropped off the grid completely for a few days. Only at the Peace Summit on Alderaan was it known about early, and only then because the Sith told the Jedi.
