GAME: Crush A Wish

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. You're hugged by a humanoid porcupine.

I wish for subversion to be subverted.

[Vashonn]

Granted. A dictatorial leadership is put in place and is incapable of being overthrown.

I wish for great artistic skill.

[FreeElk]

Granted...but you have to work really hard for it...like anyone else.

I wish I was telepathic.

[Lemons]

Granted, but then you realize that everyone hates you.

Even the bronies.

I wish I was a famous author.

[Neo Is Delight]

Granted, but you're famous for your works in lewd My Littl Pony fanfics. The entire world hates you, and cringes at your names mention. But you are at least famous!

I wish to be sparkly.

[Leaves]

Granted, you turn into a star.

I wish to win the lottery.

[Briza]

Granted, but as is the tradition of Waking Ned Devine, you die of excitement shortly after this financial triumph.

I wish.

[AngelofOctober]

You explode. You broke contract and upon not completing the wish you wished so hard you actually explode.

I w-i-s-h to be taken somewhere safe, peaceful, non violent, non death, non brony populated, and that gets me a good outcome

[Leaves]

Granted, you are teleported back to your mom's uterus waiting to be born again.

I wish for knowledge.

[AngelofOctober]

[that's hell too]

Granted you recreate the scene in the Crystal Skull as you gain knowledge you couldn't possibly understand. You melt to death

I wish for an adorable bandaid

[Briza]

Granted. Unfortunately, the bandaid is used and diseased ridden.

I wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on me, which would be my offering of love to the desert, and the desert so dry and lonely that the creatures all appreciate the effort.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. Besides you, the desert is barren and lifeless. Your flower pollinates nothing, you bear no fruit.

Also you die shortly after from dehydration.

I wish for the easily togglable superpower of selective telepathy.

[FreeElk]

Granted, however once you read someone else's thoughts you can no longer read your own...so unless your victim thinks to turn off a superpower they don't have then you can only experience their thoughts and lose your own identity. (still easy to toggle...just unlikely)

I wish for the immediate, irreversible heat death of the universe.

[Leaves]

Granted, but you have 99 lives.

I wish for a penny.

[Lemons]

Granted. You swallow it because it somehow got into your food, and you have to get your stomach pumped.

I wish I could run super fast.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. You never wished for super reflexes, and so you speedily slam into walls without the ability to turn fast enough. It cannot turn off.

I wish for North Korea's nukes to fall into an abandoned pit in the ocean with no life before reaching their destination in the US.

[FreeElk]

Granted, it turns out that the threat of nukes was all that was stopping China invading north Korea. It takes over and then, after disputing borders, south Korea and the US get into a war with China who have much better nukes.

I wish some people weren't so narrow minded.

[Lemons]

Granted. But now their minds are so open that taboo becomes an entirely lost concept. Incest, bestiality, and various other horrifying things proliferate across the world.

I wish my computer didn't need WiFi for the internet.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. It has built-in infrared, which could work if you stick the router about 3 inches away from the computer.

I wish some people weren't so open-minded.

[Lemons]

Granted; now they basically just hate everything. Just eeeeverything.

I wish for the person after me to wish.