Current
I'm about to be banished for the good of the realm again. Where is the trust in this world, I ask you?
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7 mos ago
I'm sorry, you've reached his personal secretary, Department of Shrubbery, Floor 64, Desk 1024. How can we help you today?
9 mos ago
Or buy a van or a used rental truck. Something nobody would look twice at. You can put in a rack for the rope, duct tape, plastic sheeting, shovels....
9 mos ago
Never trust a car salesman - especially a used car salesman. Have a buddy park across the street and see how many stuffed body bags you can shove in there. Gotta have room for plastic sheeting, etc.
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9 mos ago
Neil Gaiman wrote in his Good Omens bio that he likes it when fans send him $50. (He read Terry Pratchett's bio and figured it wouldn't hurt.)
Bio
I am a seven-foot tall minecraft-playing hindu guru drag-queen alien.
Possessor of an Ancient Device™ Model 17. No, I don't know what it does. No, you can't play with it.
Pronouns: It. As in: "What is it? What does it want? Why is it here? Oh my god, it's got my... <insert random body part or object here>"
Likes: World Domination, Writing, Rpg, scifi/fantasy, anime, sketchup 3d models, and anime music videos.
Companions: a host of characters from other games, my personal muse Penny (as in Bad), and the Badger gang - Toothpick, Buttons, Shark, and Mongo. They grew up in the balcony of an old theatre that played a lot of gangster movies. Normally benign, but may invade the OOC forums.
Getting ready for dumb “Siri, what’s the weather supposed to be like tomorrow?” “I don’t understand, but here’s what I found on whether or not tomorrow likes you.” Jokes
In a previous game, the gm asked Siri to show him the local restaurants, so I belted out this list:
The Dead Necromancer's Tavern (*) - This quiet tavern located on Church Street in Undertaker's Alley is notorious for the nightlife, people are dying to get in. Raise Your Spirits nights on Saturdays offer half-off drinks for terminal illness sufferers.
The Immoral Demon Bar (* * * * *) - A lively location on Phoenix Row where they say you can make a deal for just about anything. Notorious for their cursed magical weapons decor and their Dancing Hands review, a specatular animated display of former customers hands who made the mistake of touching one of the weapons without permission. Remember, you can look, just don't touch.
The Fish Bar (* *) - Dockside on Front Street, this is a fisherman's tavern that offers an excellent clam chowder, sushi, and cheap beer. The caverns entrance sees a brisk business from the harbor mermaids.
The Common Prayer (* *) - Just off of Church Street on Dawn Avenue, this humble bar offers an assortment of gruel, pottage, rye bread, and the house ale. Every night is Sermon Night, where you get a lecture while you're eating following the cancelation of Exorcism Sundays due to licensing issues.
The Vile Elixir Alehouse (* * * *) - On Tower Road opposite the Secret Asylum of Time and next door to the Cloister of Doom, favoried by wizards, witches and warlocks. Closed Mondays. High marks for the Shepards Pie, pulled pork, and their Baked Apple, as well as a fine assortment of cheeses. Specialty drinks, although the Hangman's Doom should be avoided.
To help with making a calendar, how many days are there in a year for this world? What are the days of the week, the name of months? How many days are in a month, typically?
Appearance: This woman puts you in mind of a mysterious raven. She has narrow blue eyes that are like two windows on the afternoon sky. Her thick, straight, coffee-colored hair is worn in a handsome, exotic style. She is tall and has a wasp-waisted build. Her skin is white. She has hollow cheeks. Her wardrobe is sexy.
Sireena grew up on the family farm with her mom, dad, three brothers, and an older sister, just outside of the tiny village of Upper Hythe. When she was twelve, she found a violin in a chest of an abandoned house, and spent a lot of time learning how to play it. Sireena would pop down to the village tavern The Old Wolf, begging for lessons from the wandering minstrels who'd visit.
When she was 14, Taryn the tavern keeper pointed out that Sireena was hanging around enough that he might as well offer her a job as one of the serving wenches, and she could play her violin for the crowd when they didn't have a minstrel.
The tavern keeper died a few years later, and his wife, jealous of the attention her husband had given Sireena, fired her on the spot. That night, one of the boys from the neighboring farm was a guest at the dinner table, sitting next to her. It didn't take her long to figure out that her parents were trying to set her up for marriage. She ran away the next day, disguising herself as a boy to avoid unwanted attention on the road.
A little over a week and three counties later she got robbed by some highway men. Angry at the meager coins in her purse, one of them grabbed up her violin, suggesting it might be worth a few coins. When Sireena tried to take it back, the gang jumped her.
She woke up in a feather bed in the house of Mother Lily, the local midwife, who had found her on the side of the road where the gang had left her. When she asked about her violin, Mother Lily sighed, shaking her head and told her the only thing that was left by the side of the road was her, and how like a musican to worry about their instrument before themselves. She then began listing Sireena's injuries, starting with the broken right arm and wrist.
Sireena spent the first week mourning her violin, but began to take an interest in Mother Lily's house with all the drying herbs, the massive medicine chest, her curious brewing apparatus, and her visitors. Noticing her interest, Mother Lily began sharing some of her work such as the making of medicines.
And then the highwaymen who'd robbed Sireena made the mistake of trying to burgle Mother Lily's house.
When it was over, Mother Lily guided a stunned Sireena to a wagon in the barn, hitched up her horse, then turned her attention to the cottage - which rapidly shrank until it was the size of a child's toy, which the then picked up and placed into a chest filled with straw. A toy-sized barn was careful place beside it, and more straw packed around them before closing the chest. Bare dirt showed where each had stood.
And so began her apprenticeship. Magic was alternated with lectures about plants, more details on the making of medicines, the brewing of ale, beer, the bandaging of wounds, lectures on the stars and the moon, suturing, winemaking and distilling, the telling of fortunes, brewing of potions, birthing babies, stitching of wounds, treating illnesses...
As well as readings from the Old Believers' bible Mother Lily kept hidden underneath a loose floor board, even though the last soldier of the empire had marched south long before Sireena was even born. Some of the stories were about the mischevious Lord Jester, a shapeshifting wolf who played pranks on foolish people to get them to mend their ways.
They'd also moved the cottage three times, changing their names and their looks each time to become new people so that the angry villagers whose cows had died or their crops had failed wouldn't find them.
One morning, returning to the cottage after a particularly difficult birthing to a farmer's wife of triplets (two sons, one daughter), she found Mother Lily sitting at the table, her body stiff and cold. There were also two glasses of last summer's wine on opposite sides of the table, but no sign who the visitor had been.
After she had buried Mother Lily after the rites of the Old Believers, Sireena decided to change her name to Siri and to join the pilgrimage.
Personality: Warm and caring, it is concerning when she suddenly starts laughing out of the blue. Sometimes she seems very distracted, as if she's listening to people who are not there. Or talking to animals like they having a conversation. Knowing some of the things Siri collects in the woods and fields, one wonders if she might be sampling her own wares...? Still, she's a good doctor, loves to play the violin and collects 'miniatures'.
Motivation: Tired of moving constantly whenever the villagers would blame them for the family cow dying, the crops failing, or the odd bit of property that vanished one night in lieu of payment, Siri has decided to join the pilgrimage and to see some of the places mentioned in Mother Lily's books and minstrel songs.
Skills, Strengths and Weaknesses, and Tools: Animal Handling - Has a way with animals Cooking - a master of the kitchen Fortune-telling - It's almost as if she has a direct line with Fate. Herbology - knows many uses of many plants, always eager to examine new plants Hermetic Magic - still a journeyman in the study of the Laws of Sacrifice Medicine - a master at tending to illness and injury, can perform minor surgery. Potion-making - A journeyman in the creation of potions, odd explosions still happen sometimes. Shrinking - able to reduce objects and later restore them to their normal size (See Sympathetic Magic) Singing - Fair singer, knows a lot of songs. Sympathetic Magic - still a journeyman in the study of the Laws of Sympathy. Violin - Very good musician with the violin.
°Strengths - Clever - Dedicated - Caring
°Weakness - Makes a lot of assumptions - Fondness for alcohol and sweets - Sense of duty - quirky sense of humor
°Tools - Living wagon, home/workspace/surgery - a small library of books. - her shrunken collection of "miniatures"
What They Most Want: Knowledge and new horizons
If They Had a DnD Alignment, It Would Be: Neutral Good
Do They Follow Their Heart or Their Mind?: Their heart.
Worst Fear: To be trapped
Favorite Color: Red
Most Like The Animal: A Swallow
Favorite Time of Day: Sunset
How They Dress: - Wide brim hat, either black or white - Red dress - Black bodice - White apron - Knee-high black boots - Colorful... sweaters and scarfs when it gets cold - A red hooded cloak - Plague mask - Leather satchel that holds various items and her journal - Necklace with a crystal ball pendant.
Favorite Season: Spring, the renewal of the world
What Gods/Spirits/Whatevers They Worship (If Any): An old believer of the ancient gods of Oscana, admirer of Lord Jester.
So I have to reject Lord Jester, Grim and Dia's sheets completely. I'd rather you just mention somewhere in Siri's sheet that she follows a god called Lord Jester, and maybe offer a few paragraphs of exposition regarding what she believes about that god. You can do the same with the cat. But all this definite exposition about gods and demons? It's just a bit too far. We're only building our characters at this stage.
Understood. I shall edit out Grim and do a rewrite under the worship section about the Old Believers and Jester.
No apologies needed. The point I was trying to make is I think it'd be cool/necessary to have multiple pantheons and somehow they're all real, sort of like the Riordanverse or Indiana Jones. Your death and my death can operate at the same time without issue. I also wasn't trying to be accusatory of you taking from Pratchett, just wondered if it was in part an homage?
That's the whole idea behind Lord Jester. The Old Wolf was part of a pantheon that ruled over Oscana until an empire muscled their way in, destroying their temples, converting their people, and the former gods were exiled - not to the Material realm, but down to the Shadow Realm, a bunch of fallen.
Had they been more powerful, maybe they could have converted the invaders into some very ugly frogs, but they didn't get the chance.
@Expendable NOTE - Do not include that temple in any world building here.*
Grim was one of the psychopomps for the pantheon, but His power was separate, so He found Himself under "new management". Now He's sort of freelance, mostly with the old believers.
I've read Terry's Good Omens and the various Discworld books and even watched the movies. That last was a mistake, as Death's voice is what I hear for Grim.
Oooh, here's a concept - six year old girl trapped in the fairy realm for thirty-odd years. Her body hasn't aged in all that time, but she's gotten strong enough to wield a halberd. And she really, really hates the fairy realm.
It was a busy day for me, work-wise, but remind me to check this one out upon the morrow.
Death is now Grim, Reaper of Souls. If it helps, I can add Department of Collections, Sector 9. He can exchange a nod with The Morrigan as he passes through.
Ooooh thanks @MagusDream. Idk if I'll use them long-term, but I'll make an effort to start off with it.
@Expendable I was discussing this with Tortoise in a PM haha. Cause Mergoux is a servant to Death as well, albeit a much different form of her. Sort of like your Death, she's not likely to do much other than maybe pass on a message or two or something, but just for kicks here's her quickie CS just for kicks. BTW, is your death based on Sir Terry Pratchett's death at all?
"I am she who is Death. All meet me, though few wish to."
Race: Elder God Age: The fifth eldest god. Time in caravan: NA
Appearance: A gaunt, pale-skinned woman, with large black wings. What would be pink on a person, (lips, fingernails, inside the mouth) are black, as are her eyes. From a distance, her eyes appear much much larger, due to the intense black circles under them from millennia without enough rest.
History: Born when the first thing died, she has carried the duty of collecting the souls of those who have passed, so that they might pass on to whatever afterlife is coming to them.
Personality: Irritable, short-tempered, aloof, but not cruel. Sympathetic to a degree, but often to cranky to show it.
Motivation: It is the task she is given, so shall she do it.
Skills, Strengths and Weaknesses, and Tools:
Strengths Flight Physically very strong and durable
Weaknesses Not very practiced in combat. Bit of a softie for kids. Easily distracted or angered. Narcoleptic
Tools 2 Sickles, which can be merged magically into a scythe when needed.
Near eldest of all the gods is The Morrigan, The Crow Goddess, Death herself. So feared is she that none speak her true name, so long has this tradition been in place that the name itself is long since lost. Instead the call her The Morrigan, and those still more fearful refer to her only as 'the goddess'. Resembling a pale-skinned woman, so wan and withered as to look like a corpse warmed over. Her voice is a harsh croak, her eyes shining and black. Yet for all her appearance, she is no great evil. She is simply the end. All the harshness attributed to her comes from the simple fact it is her task to collect the souls of the dead, yet she is not some being who may travel across the earth in a shroud of darkness. Instead bearing great black wings upon her back, she flies across the world, collecting slowly the souls of those whose time has ended. It is a thankless task, a ceaseless duty, and it wears thin on her patience towards mortals. Death is inevitable, death is immortal, death will come for you, but above all death is simply exhausted.
Like other gods, she will occasionally take on servants, or apprentices. The Morrigan makes her choices carefully, often seeking those who give her the most work. Those killers who bring death in droves, they are given a choice, to serve her or to meet her for that final time. Presented with such a choice, few choose the latter. What tasks they are assigned is a closely guarded secret, even amongst the other servants of the Lady Morrigan, but all know the punishment should they ever fail...
Sorry, missed we already had a Death floating around. He's a psychopomp, so really there are several different guides doing the job, like Ketrak, Moddey Dhoo, Mallt-y-nos, and Muut. So I'll rename mine to Grim, but the Grim Reaper's been around for a lot longer than Terry Pratchett's been doing Discworld novels. I do like the way Terry's aspect of Death talks, but I can edit mine to set Him further apart.
I am a seven-foot tall minecraft-playing hindu guru drag-queen alien.
Possessor of an Ancient Device™ Model 17. No, I don't know what it does. No, you can't play with it.
Pronouns: It. As in: "What is it? What does it want? Why is it here? Oh my god, it's got my... <insert random body part or object here>"
Likes: World Domination, Writing, Rpg, scifi/fantasy, anime, sketchup 3d models, and [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmKRgqWGrWc]anime music videos[/url].
Companions: a host of characters from other games, my personal muse Penny (as in Bad), and the Badger gang - Toothpick, Buttons, Shark, and Mongo. They grew up in the balcony of an old theatre that played a lot of gangster movies. Normally benign, but may invade the OOC forums.
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">I am a seven-foot tall minecraft-playing hindu guru drag-queen alien. <br><br>Possessor of an Ancient Device™ Model 17. No, I don't know what it does. No, you can't play with it.<br><br>Pronouns: It. As in: "What is it? What does it want? Why is it here? Oh my god, it's got my... <insert random body part or object here>"<br><br>Likes: World Domination, Writing, Rpg, scifi/fantasy, anime, sketchup 3d models, and <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmKRgqWGrWc">anime music videos</a>.<br><br>Companions: a host of characters from other games, my personal muse Penny (as in Bad), and the Badger gang - Toothpick, Buttons, Shark, and Mongo. They grew up in the balcony of an old theatre that played a lot of gangster movies. Normally benign, but may invade the OOC forums.</div>