Member
DracoLunaris
AlmostEternity
BunniesOfDoom
TokyoPewPew
Drifting Pollen
Massasauga
Dragonydas
Morgannis
Xaltwind
CitrusArmsRocket League Recon
starring Yuri’s @Gentlemanvaultboy, Pit’s @Yankee, and Banjo-Kazooie’s @Dawnrider
Word Count: 9934
As the four-man crew of would-be talent seekers maneuvered through the parking lot, chock-full as it was of nonstandard vehicles of all shapes and sizes, Yuri presented the idea she managed to draw up for how she and her team might accomplish her mission. Nero had to hand it to her; she’d already put a lot more thought in tackling their assignment than he had, and he was the one supposed to be in charge. While some might say that a leader’s primary responsibility lay in the art of tactful delegation, Nero had encountered so few instances of cooperation in his brief but storied career as a devil hunter that he knew precious little about teamwork, let alone leadership. In his mind, the old adage held true: lead by example. He couldn’t afford to pull his reluctant hero shtick, acting put-upon but always getting the job done in the end, when he had others to look out for. Of course, he also couldn’t afford to let pride get in the way of good ideas, and Nero planned to give respect where it was due.
“You’re a smart kid,” he told Yuri. “We’ll do it your way. Go case by case, try and figure out who we’re dealing with, maybe drop a couple hints about Alcamoth if we turn up any hero types.” Crossing his arms, he kept a stern face as he continued. “I’m sure I don’t need to remind you to make sure you ask whoever you’re planning to photo. Just good manners.”
The spirit photographer made it pretty clear that she’d like accompaniment as she went about her business, and Nero agreed wholeheartedly, even if his only visual response was a stiff nod. In an unknown and potentially dangerous locale, it didn’t make sense to split up four ways, providing one counted Banjo and Kazooie as a unit. On the subject of units, Nero felt like skipping the volunteer process and cutting straight to the chase. “How about you keep her company, Pit?” he suggested to the young angel, figuring that their wildly different demeanors might be able to balance one another out. As he did he positioned himself closer to the bear and bird, making the delineation clear. Yuri turned and nodded at the energetic angel, who in turn nodded back at her.
"Sure! Nobody's a better guard than me," he said. Just had to ignore the times that Palutena had been kidnapped, or turned to stone, or... yeah, ignore all of that. With groups decided, Nero turned his attention toward the massive, glass-domed structure before him, ready to score some interviews.
Though the Rocket League Arena contained a vast majority of this place’s populace, there was no shortage of people in the parking lot, either. Visitors by their vehicles or trekking toward the building would be easier to isolate, but harder to keep still, while spectators already inside promised the opposite experience. In his brief search of the nearby parking lot, Nero identified a few possibilities. Leaning against an obnoxiously pink hovercraft of some sort was a churlish man of impressive stature, bored, and though he wore sunglasses he seemed to be on the lookout for something. An aisle over he spotted a lavender-furred cat about to leave in a snazzy single-seat convertible, and it was a moment before he noticed the dull-eyed salamander girl sitting in a dingy, military-style jeep, listlessly munching through a sandwich only partially unwrapped from its clingfilm. And of course, one couldn’t miss the huge robot taking up a bevy of parking spaces.
More than the others though, a newly-arrived, brick-red motorcycle caught Nero’s eye, not just for its remarkable size and unique design, but also for the even more interesting pair currently disembarking. The man, so broad-shouldered and built that he might as well be the picture for ‘macho’ in the dictionary, sported a red jacket and headband in croppy dark brown hair, as well as a chiseled face permanently solidified into a stonelike state of unamusement. In sharp contrast, the woman who cheerily leaped from the cycle’s sidecar seemed full of energy, with long rose-red hair and a white jumpsuit sort of thing that couldn’t hug her figure more if it was glued on. They made for an odd but fascinating couple.
Pit jumped up, a couple flaps of his wings bringing him just high enough to get a decent overhead view of the lot and it's occupants. A lot of colorful people for sure, and some that looked vaguely familiar. Actually some looked more than just 'vaguely' familiar, he thought, although his gaze was drawn from the garish pink machine to a much larger one.
"I think I know that guy," Pit said as he landed, gesturing generally toward one area of the parking lot. He turned to Yuri with a bright smile, ahead of a suggestion for heading in the opposite direction. "But first why don't we check out that giant robot?! I bet that thing has seen all kinds of stuff!"
Yuri stopped craning her neck to spot whoever the angel had and instead turned her attention to the lots biggests occupant. Her face fell as she stared at it in all it’s industrial menace. The world, it seemed, conspired to throw her into the deep end with every new challenge she faced today. Fine. After this one, everyone else would be a walk in the mountains. Nodding, she approved the robotic behemoth. They approached.
“Excuse me?” She shouted up to it, treating Pit to the rare spectacle of Yuri Kozukata raising her voice. It cracked halfway through the word “Excuse,” and Yuri coughed a couple of times to clear the frog from her throat before continuing. “We’re members of an organization trying to map this world and reconnect people with their loved ones. Would you mind answering some questions?” She held up her little notebook slightly as though it were a shield, but the robot gave no response. “It would only take a moment of your time.” She implored again, but the robot didn't even seem to know she was there.
She stood there in hopeful silence for a short time, then turned back to her companion. “Pit? Do you think maybe this is a…” She faltered, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “...a car?”
Her companion blinked at her, surprised she would even suggest that. There was no way it could be true, right? It had a torso. And sure, the Cherubot had arms and was just a... car, more or less, but this car in front of them had a head, so surely it wasn't just a car.
"Maybe it's just shy," he reasoned. Pit moved to the front of the tank-with-a-torso, waving his arms over his head. "Excuse me! Hey! It's okay, we're friendly!"
It didn't acknowledge the odd duo at all. "Hello!?" Pit all but shouted, but still it didn't move.
Pit huffed out a breath, his brows furrowed and his brain very unwilling to accept that this robot was just someone else's vehicle. After a moment he brought a fist down into the palm of his hand. Having apparently realized something, he turned to share his thoughts with Yuri.
"Oh, maybe it's shut down, or in rest mode! So it can't hear us. We'll just have to catch it when it wakes up later!"
“Uh, yes. Of course. It must be.” Yuri replied, looking back at the behemoth machine one last time. Giant robots were, after all, a boy's romance. Who was she to despoil such dreams? Besides, they might get to meet the pilot if they came back later.
Well interviewee one was a bust, so time to move on to the next one. Since the robot probably wouldn't mind Pit and Yuri continuing to chat in front of it, the angel shifted topic. "I'm pretty sure I saw one of the Assist fighters here," he told her, "We should go make sure it's him and tell him about Smash City, right? Maybe you met him too, before everything was Galeemified. His name was..." Pit trailed off, trying to recall how Captain Falcon had introduced the man. This was kind of embarrassing, it'd been three tournaments they'd been in together, but in his defense these get-togethers were brief and there was always a lot on his mind - just like there was now. So the only part that stuck out to him now was what had stuck out to him then. "Samurai!"
“Samurai?” Yuri considered. She hadn’t exactly been a social butterfly even in the fairly nice waiting area assistants used during a match, but she had spotted one beautiful young man that was the spitting image of the classic samurai warrior. “I think I know who you’re talking about.” She remembered especially because he had been accosted by some way too rambunctious middle aged man, who had whipped out a sword and challenged him to a duel right there in the waiting area before being unexpectedly whisked away to assist. “Yes, we should definitely send him to Smash City. Lead the way.”
After a quick glance around to make sure they were headed in the right direction, the two of them regretfully left the robot behind. They moved through the parking lot, weaving through the various impractical vehicles. The cars alone told quite the story, but most of their drivers were absent. As Pit led Yuri through the eclectic collection of cars they had the good fortune to pass someone who had apparently dipped out of the arena for a quick bite to eat in her car. Apparently human, if you discounted the long amphibian tail draped across the passenger seat. “Ah!” Yuri made a short sound as they walked past to get Pits attention before indicating back at the lizard girl. “Did the assistant look like they were about to leave?” She asked. “Because this one is right here, we may as well.”
"Not really?" the angel answered, though it had only been a glimpse. He followed Yuri's gaze to the woman and nodded. "The more people the better! Let's go."
They quickly backtracked until they were standing before the stranger. She was radiating an unfriendly energy, not that that would deter the angel. "Hello!" He started with a wave of his hand and then mimicked Yuri's earlier introduction, punctuating dynamically. "We are part of an amazing organization that's mapping the world and bringing people together! So we've got some questions for you!"
Asbestos narrowed her eyes and muttered "give me a break," under her breath as Pit gestured to Yuri for her cue.
Yuri stepped forward, already kind of regretting this just from the vibe the girl was giving off. Still, she couldn't falter after an introduction like that. “If you wouldn't mind. My name is Yuri, this is Pit.” She pointed to the angel with her notebook before opening it up and preparing to write. “Do you remember where you were when you first awoke in this world?”
“Tsk.” In no hurry at all, Asbestos finished chewing her mouthful of sandwich. It took her a few moments to work through it and swallow, after which she took a deep breath in while opening her mouth to respond. Then she just took another bite, leaving her guests hanging in awkward silence. As Yuri and Pit looked on she held up a finger as if to ask them to wait another few seconds, but when she finished she simply popped the last morsel of her meal in and polished it off, too.
Then she passed her hand through her bangs, and as it crossed her face it left behind a startlingly surly scowl. The adjustment revealed a vivid fuschia left eye with black sclera alongside her lime green right, detectable even beneath Galeem’s sunset-red haze. Both were fixed in a ferocious squint, and her mouth full Asbestos declared, “What a pain in the ass.” Her husky, churlish voice sent crumbs flying as she spoke, a few of which landed on Yuri’s notebook. Yuri made a disgusted little noise as she wiped the notebook on the leg of her shorts. “Whadda I look like, a toah guide? A walkin’ encyclopedia? Beat it, kids. I’m busy as hell, an’ I sure don’t have time fah any dumbass questions.”
That said, rather than brush the two off and turn away, she crossed her arms and leaned back, using her salamander tail as a neck pillow as her bangs fell back across her evil eye. “What’s some prissy schoolgahl doin’ ‘round heah anyhow? Some kinda reseahch papah? Or maybe they jus’ ran outta shoaht shoahts where yah from, huhuh. Well, fuggedaboudit. Drawin’ maps and blazin’ trails ain’t my style. I just run around the woahld chasin’ thrills. That’s about all theah is to know about me.” Her admiring gaze landed on the megalithic skull that hung above the Rocket League Arena.
Yuri had been about to excuse them and walk away after the girl refused, but after she asked a question of her own Yuri felt like they might still be able to get something out of her, even if the question was sarcastic. Kazooie might have been rude, but this girl was downright abusive. Seriously, schoolgirl? Did she still come off as that young? Besides that, Yuri was nothing if not persistent. This had been her idea, after all. You couldn't quit just because a few poison words were thrown your way.
“Like Pit said, we’re just trying to learn more about the world. Help reunite people. Find things that have been lost. That’s why I’m out here, I’m good at finding things. That’s all.” She brought up the notebook again, read her list of questions, then abandoned it for a while. “Have you managed to find many thrills yet, or is this the only one?”
“Huh!?” With her eyes wide and her mouth open enough to see her sharp teeth, Asbestos looked genuinely surprised. “You been livin’ undah a rock or somethin’? This whole damn country’s been one big conga line a’ advenchahs, one aftah anothah!” The salamander girl sat forward, suddenly fired up by the greatest hits of her past experiences. “Nothin’ but new, new, new no mattah wheah I go! Ancient ruins, giant monstahs, goahgeous scenery. Stuff ya wouldn’t believe, like those hoahn-shaped mountains with watahfalls. Then theah was a city wheah everyone’s crazy about fightin’, one with whole ‘nudda level on stilts like giant pizza pie, and one fulla nothin’ but rotten zombies! And the people, jeez. I nevah seen so many different soahts a’ people! Always gotta make my life hahd, too. Whetha it’s punchin’ ‘em out oah doin’ theah damn choahs. Some real close calls, too! Heheh, I betcha I could tell ya a couple stories that’d have ya pissin’ yer pannies, kid.” Calming down, Asbestos cleared her throat with a cough, then gave a dismissive shrug as she reached down to grab her paper bag for something else to eat. The marker on the crumpled front of the bag read ‘Mel’ and had a heart drawn on it. “I mean, if I wasn’t so busy, a’ course.” As she rummaged her narrowed slit eyes glanced at Yuri and Pit again, wondering what they were still doing there.
“Of course.” Yuri replied, finishing up her notes. It had been hard picking through the girl’s accent once she started talking with such energy. She jotted down what she heard about the horn shaped mountain, the city with the pizza upper level, and the one where everyone liked fighting. “The zombies are all gone now.” She said, looking up. “The city up the road from The Hammerhead Garage, right? We just came from there.” She shook her head. “Don’t travel back that way. It’s nothing but a crater now, full of disembodied spirits and rain that will kill you.”
She could tell that the girl's patience for them was coming to an end, so she decided to wrap things up now rather than risk losing. “If you wouldn't mind one last thing, I was wondering if I could get your name and photograph you? We’re near a pretty well trafficked location, so if someone who knows you comes through and sees it we can point them in your direction. Or…” Her eyes fell on the bag, and the man’s name circled upon it. “...Or if you have anyone you would like to find, you tell us and we’ll keep an eye out for them as we travel.”
Despite Yuri’s best intentions, her warning had the opposite effect. At the mention of what became of the Dead Zone, Asbestos more or less repeated her response from before: surprise, followed by excitement. “You kiddin’? That sounds awesome! I’m dyin’ anyway, so might as well go out aftah seein’ some kickass ghosts.” She pulled a film-wrapped cookie from the bag, barely even looked at it, then chomped it in half, plastic and all. “Blech!” she coughed, reaching up with her other hand to pull the plastic wrap out, and giving her interviewers a good look at her vivid blue tongue in the process. She tossed it on the ground and kept on munching as if nothing had happened. By that time, Yuri had posed a few follow-up questions. “Like hell I’m posin’ for a photo,” the operator smirked. “I ain’t got a good side. Might as well say my name’s Asbestos though, ‘cause if anyone recognizes it, they’ll know to steah cleah.” She sighed coarsely, scratching at a few oddly-covered scabs on her neck. “Knowin’ that bastahd, he’d probably come aftah me, anyway.”
“I’m so sorry.” Yuri said after a short intake of breath after she heard Asbetos’s prognosis. Was she sick? What with? You couldn't tell from the outside. Was the tongue a symptom? Was the tail? Those scabs? Everyone looked so distinct that she couldn't call any of that unusual. “Have you seen a Doctor since you got here?”
Asbestos’ brow furrowed. “Sorry? For what? Don't need any a' your pity, Shortie,” she told Yuri, shielded from the realization that the spirit photographer had seven centimeters on her by the height of the jeep she sat in. “And no, I ain’t seen ‘em. Been enjoyin’ my time oaff just fine. With all the shit they put me through, I figyahed I’d make the most of it. Sure as hell beats sittin’ around in sick bay stuffed fulla tubes and needles.” She glowered as she trailed off, though not at Yuri. Evidently the idea of being vulnerable bothered her almost as much as the idea of needing help. After a moment, however, Asbestos regained her composure. ”So yeah, I’m just fine. Who assed you anyhow?”
“I understand. I’m not fond of hospitals either.” Yuri said emphatically, finally finding some common ground with the lizard girl. It might not have been being poked and prodded, but she would be a happy woman if she was never trapped between those clean, sterile walls for the rest of her life.
“Hey!” Before Yuri could ask anything else, there came a shout from Yuri and Pit’s right. They turned to see an ordinary-looking family headed their way, a mother, father, and young son, all blondes. The man, who held his boy against his body with one, looked kind of familiar, but right now he mostly looked upset. “The heck are you doing in my car!?”
The salamander girl’s surprise quickly turned into a toothy grin. “Time’s up.”
She launched herself from the jeep, and after landing nimbly behind it, took a moment to retrieve something she left propped against the side. With a grunt she hoisted a massive tower shield, or maybe some kind of metal door, despite it being bigger and heavier than herself by a long shot. Asbestos paused only a moment to look up in bewilderment at Yuri, who she did not by any means expect to be taller than herself, then took off running as fast as her giant shield would allow. “Piss off, banana hair! Hahahahahaha!”
As she hustled off with her tail waving behind her, Ken walked up at a controlled pace, determined not to disturb his son’s rest. He treated the back of the fleeing Asbestos to a scornful stare before turning his attention to Yuri and Pit. “What was that about? Friend of yours?” An inkling of recognition filtered through his features as he fought to remember where he saw these two before.
Yuri looked between the blond man and the rapidly disappearing Asbestos looking absolutely gobsmacked, mind processing what was going on. “Wha…I…they’re…,” she stumbled over her words.
Meanwhile…
“‘Scuse me.”
Both strangers turned in unison at Nero’s hail, and the devil hunter got his first good look at them. First and foremost, the swivel of the floating glyph around the woman confirmed that it was no mere gaudy accessory affixed to her back; it was an honest-to-goodness halo that gently bobbed behind her, silhouetting a head of long red hair that seemed to be white in the inside. When she glanced his way, her expression was one of such geniality, curiosity, and wide-eyed innocence that he couldn’t help but wonder if he stood before a genuine angel. Although typically not one for idle speculation, Nero had at some point or another mused whether or not the existence of demons in his world implied the existence of angels as well. If he did ever meet one, he certainly wouldn’t have expected one to be wearing a skintight bellbottom suit, gloves with metal fingernails, or a hobble shaped like an iron pumpkin.
He did not, however, examine her appearance too closely, because the guy she was with looked pissed. Maybe his face was just built like that, its resting position an imposing glower, or maybe he just vehemently objected to anyone disturbing his date. As far as Nero could tell, though, his sense of style seemed even more out-there than his girlfriend’s. Belts covered his outfit, buckled with gold, halves of a pair of handcuffs, and -where a belt should be- a plate inscribed with the word ‘Free’ that also featured what Nero first thought was a loincloth. A headband lurked underneath his wild, spiky brown hair, adding further weight to his brow. Most impressive of all, of course, was his physique. A relatively small waist compared to his broad shoulders and giant chest made him look remarkably top-heavy, and those arms looked like they could punch through a brick wall or two. Nero did not relish the thought of being on his bad side.
Sol looked between the odd combination of bear, bird, and devil hunter. “You talkin’ to us?” he asked, his voice as gravelly as one might expect.
Nero nodded stiffly. “Yeah, uh. Just wanted to ask you two something, if you got a moment.”
“We sure as hell don’t,” the man practically growled. “Whatever happened to respectin’ a man’s privacy?”
“Got somewhere to be, Buckles?” Kazooie half spat, though with honest curiosity to her inquiry, should it happen that anything might require their attention.
“Kazooie…” came a starting reminder of manners from Banjo to reel Kazooie in early before her mouth could get them into trouble, to which she tacitly complied, her apology (to Banjo) implied through body language. Thankfully, both duos had their own handlers, it seemed…
Before anyone could turn tail, however, the woman gave a bright, cheerful laugh. “Aw, someone’s a little grumpy-wumpy from the drive over,” she teased, her voice youthful and expressive. She jumped up behind her partner and threw herself over his back, her arms wrapped around his neck, after which she proceeded to rub her face against the side of his head. “C’mon, we can lend ‘em a hand, can’t we? One good turn deserves another!”
He groaned, averting his eyes, which seemed to be good enough for her. “Heehee!” She slid to the ground and stepped in front of him, waving hello with both hands. “Trick or treat! I’m Jack-o, and this lovable hunk is Sol. What can we do ya for?”
“Erm, Trick or Treat, Mrs. Jack-O!” Banjo returned casually with a small wave, assuming it may have just been a flavorful form of greeting for her. Though, he still couldn’t help wondering in whisper, “Is it really Halloween? Anyway, we just wanted to… erm…” He held a long, thoughtful pause before admitting, “Actually, I forget. What are we here for again?” He looked expectantly to Nero for an answer.
The devil hunter put a hand to his face, mortified and baffled as to how he’d gotten himself into this situation in the first place. “We’re just hoping to get the lay of the land,” he supplied. “Anything you’d care to share about cities, towns, or even landmarks would be a big help.”
“Lay of the land, huh? Hmm~” Jack-O crossed her arms, her brows scrunched together as she got the gears turning. “‘Fraid we’re not the best people to ask. We mostly keep to ourselves out in the country, just goin’ into town for groceries and stuff. When we’re out bounty hunting though, we ride all over! The forest, the mega-huge forest, the mountains. And everywhere you go, there’s something fun to find!”
“If by ‘fun’ you mean a new pain in the ass, then sure,” Sol groused.
“Hahah, yeah!” Jack-O smiled. “I guess if you’re out explorin’, don’t go too far north on either side of the big hole. On the right there’s a city totally overrun by monsters, at least until it all blew up last night. That was bananas! We were just cruisin’ along like normal, then BA-BOOM, the whole place goes up in smoke! The light was so bright I was seein’ stars for hours!” Energetic gesticulation helped to express just how remarkable the experience had been for her, even if Nero already knew all about it.
“You should see it now,” Kazooie suggested in a cheeky, offhand manner…
She kept on talking. “Oh, and if you go too far up ‘round the other way, there’s just a flat-out war goin’ on. I’m talkin’ GIGANTIC armies, with dragons and tanks and flyin’ machines. Trust me, you do NOT wanna get too close to that whole mess.”
“Hm, that doesn’t sound good,” Of course, Banjo couldn’t pretend to be surprised at this point that every subsequent region of the World of Light to be explored would, by assumed design, contain some great absurdly inflated and possibly thematically accurate challenge for them to pass through. “We’ve been through a great deal already, but I’m not so sure we’re prepared to go to war.” What he seemed to forget in his expressed doubts was that, like it or not, they [The Seekers of Light] were already at war–with the entire World, no less. That contingently included just about anyone and everyone they talked to just as they were doing now, not excluding present company.
“You two seem to have made it out okay,” the question of ‘how’ being implied though emphasis.
Jack-O nodded, grinning, and put her hands on her hips in a determined, heroic pose. “Uh-huh! Sol here’s, like, the toughest guy around, and I’m no slouch myself!”
“Tell the whole world, why don’t ya,” Sol grumbled. With no other option, he stepped up to try and disarm the situation personally. “Look, I ain’t some big shot or anything. Just a guy hopin’ to live a quiet life. Don’t want any trouble.”
Even as he said it, though, the gears in Nero’s mind were turning. Maybe this guy didn’t go looking for trouble, but it sure looked and sounded like he could deal with it once it arose. People who lived quiet lives didn’t go around with giant greatsword slung across his back, after all. The earlier detail about hunting bounties for a living didn’t escape the devil hunter, either. It wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility that they could help out Alcamoth. Something about this guy worried him, though…would Smash City’s ‘welcoming committee’ be enough to onboard him? Of course, to even get to that point he’d need to choose his words carefully.
“No sweat.” Nero held up a placating hand. “I just thought that you two looked, you know, capable, maybe even strong enough to take on a job or two for Alcamoth. That’s who we’re working for right now, as mercenaries. Funded by the princess of the, ahem…” He cleared his throat to bide for time until he remembered the name. “Uh, Mushroom Kingdom. So, I’m just saying, if you need work, maybe you two oughta stop by.”
The prospect seemed to interest Jack-O. “Hey, that sounds fun!”
“Sounds like pain, you mean,” Sol just about spat. “We don’t need to get ourselves involved in any kingdoms or politics. Goin’ it alone suits us just fine.”
“But you’re… not alone...” Banjo observed aloud, curiously, and rather unhelpfully, that the two traveled as a pair, which he perfectly understood.
“Wait, aren’t you always sayin’ its a huge hassle runnin’ all over lookin’ for jobs?”
Sol grimaced. “Agh, Jack-O…”
“That’s me!” the woman innocently beamed.
“Well… now you know where you can find some, and I’m sure they’ll be happy to have your help.”
“Now just tell us which way YOU came from, and we’ll go there instead… in different directions... away from each other.” In her indirect inquiry regarding the bounty hunters’ previous whereabouts, Kazooie made an unironic, if needlessly overt appeal to the man’s professed asocial sensibilities, and provided him a possible easy ‘out’ from the discussion as an unintended byproduct.
The Breegull’s choice of words, not to mention their tone, seemed to rub Sol the wrong way. “You’re sendin’ some real mixed messages, Tweety,” he just about growled. “If you don’t want us, we’ve sure as hell got better things to do.” He abruptly turned and walked off, headed in the direction of the Rocket Arena.
“Ooh, really stepped in it there, didn’tcha?” Jack-O laughed. “Oh well! I’m sure we’ll check it out some time. Toodles!” After giving the Mercenaries a little wave she bounced off after her boyfriend, leaving Banjo, Kazooie, and Nero to themselves.
Shockingly, Kazooie’s smart-ass, roundabout method of persuasion didn’t win them a great deal of favor or produce gratifying results. It wasn’t without opportunity, however, to perhaps see what they were capable of, depending on their unspecified business at the arena. Sparing the thought, the arena itself was its own marker of interest, doubtlessly replete with potential, and they had yet to enter to see for themselves.
“Hmm…” Banjo began, cupping his chin and tapping his foot as he watched the couple trail off into the colosseum. “Anyone else wondering what they’re here for?” Given their spoken profession, if they weren’t competing or participating in whatever was taking place inside, then it was likely some other trouble might go down. A trip inside, he thought, for whatever reason, might educate them one way or the other.
“I’m curious about what’s happening in there…” Kazooie agreed, but voicing her curiosity in a broader sense.
“Maybe they’re here to watch…whatever those cars are doing.” A chorus of cheers brought Nero’s attention to the Rocket League Arena, where he and his associates could see a giant soccer ball soaring through the sky with full-sized cars flying around it in desperate attempts to hit it in one direction or another. He shook his head and, hearing some noise over in the direction of Yuri and Pit, went to investigate.
Luckily, Yuri only had to flounder and falter in the face of suspicion for a few moments before a certain gallant devil hunter came to her rescue. While she and Pit attempted their own interviews, Nero and Banjo/Kazooie (but mostly Nero) had acquainted themselves with the stylish couple who’d just arrived themselves. Their efforts yielded mixed results, since while the big dude rebuffed his with grumbles about privacy and minding his own business, his shockingly cheerful girlfriend roped him along for a quick chat. That went on a little while before its abrupt end, after which Nero appeared just in time to catch a glimpse of Asbestos on her way out. Wearing his best no-nonsense face, the devil hunter looked between Yuri and Ken, then came to a stop with crossed arms. “Something the matter?” he asked.
“I sure thought so for a minute there.” The martial artist gave an exasperated shrug. “My family and I were just about to head home, only to find some hoodlum sittin’ in my car like she owned it. And then the other two…” He noticed that a few moments had passed without a reply of any kind from Nero; in fact, the devil hunter looked quite taken aback, staring at Ken with something akin to bewilderment. “Uh, you all right, buddy? Something on my face?”
Nero’s brows scrunched together, and in a momentarily tentative voice ventured, “...Dante?”
Now it was Ken’s turn to be confused. “Who?”
“Uh. Sorry,” Nero coughed. “For a second I thought…well, it’s just, you sound just like someone I know. I mean, exactly like him. My bad.”
Confused initially by Nero’s tangent, his given explanation for it clarified for the bear and bird the metafictional nature of the conundrum of familiarity, of which only they were likely aware. This led to the two exchanging hushed comments about how “there are only some many voices,” presumptions of the voice acting industry’s need for “fresh talent”, the realization that the law of averages dictated more than one instance of this in the World of Light, and an admitted gratitude for never having the same problem themselves, having foregone proper acting in their own games well before it hit a proverbial stride.
If he thought his gaffe might exacerbate the situation, however, Nero was happily mistaken. The stranger gave a good natured laugh instead. “No worries, I get that sometimes. Name’s Ken Masters, nice to meet you. This is my wife Eliza, and my son Mel.” He adjusted the arm supporting his kid as he laid a hand on his wife’s shoulder.
Even though it was just to be polite, Eliza’s smile was dazzling. “How do you do?”
“Eh, can’t complain.” Never one much for pleasantries, Nero cast a glance in the direction Asbestos went. “Yuri and Pit are with me, I’m sure they weren’t up to anything. As for that other girl, she’s no friend of ours. Think I oughta chase her down, bring her back?”
“I dunno…” Ken rubbed his chin. His cursory examination of the car turned up no damage or irregularities beyond a couple ransacked picnic lunches. “Whoever she was, she didn’t take anything from the glove compartment. Just food.” He shrugged, still wearing that smile. “If she’s that hungry, she’s probably got enough problems as is.”
“Poor dear,” Eliza mused. “Probably a lost soldier, judging by all that gear she had on her.”
“She told me she was dying.” Yuri relayed, more to herself than anything.
"Wait - wait, wait, wait!"
Pit had initially been extremely confused at the appearance of this family. He didn't put two and two together that Asbestos was just sitting in someone else's car, what she planned to do with or in it unknown. But the man that joined them looked incredibly familiar, but the hairstyle and the outfit were throwing him off. Not to mention the wife and child he'd never met. But then he'd introduced himself, and it all made sense. He thought he knew those eyebrows!
He looked between Ken, Yuri, and Nero with big wide eyes. "Didn't you hear what he said? It's Ken! Ken, like - wham, wham, pow!" Pit did some mock punches as he made the sound effects, bouncing on his feet in his best impression of the street fighter. He blinked up at Ken, smiling.
"You remember me, right? It's Pit! We were in those tournaments together! And then we were all on that cliff, and then Galeem..." Oh, right, Galeem. The blue of Ken's eyes were shrouded over in red, just like everyone else that had yet to be freed. Pit's wings and shoulders drooped. Almost the entire world was Gleaming, but seeing someone you knew, even if not that closely, really drove that fact home.
"He's part of the whole Smash Brothers thing," Pit supplied to Nero, sure that Yuri and the dynamic duo already knew.
"The what now?" Though still maintaining a friendly demeanor, the information barrage was starting to get to Ken. "Sorry guys, I think you might've lost me." He scratched his head as he took a second look at Pit. "Now that you mention it, you do look familiar, though. If you say we've met before. I believe you."
"It's a start!"
“That’s right. You were one of the tournament’s real participants.” Yuri said, realization dawning in her eyes. “You wore red.” She hadn’t been able to recognize him without that distinctive red gi of his, having never been that close to the action when summoned.
As the conversation went on, Mel began to fidget. "Dad, I'm hungry," he complained.
"Whoops, sorry, sport. Here, it looks like my lunch is still intact. You can have it." He hefted his son over, put him into the jeep, and passed him the last film-wrapped sandwich, which Mel got busy extracting.
With the excitement of meeting Ken again, Pit had pushed the person that had coincidentally facilitated their meeting from his mind. Now though he was reminded of not only what the Masters family assumed about Asbestos, but what the lizard girl herself had so casually divulged. She might have been a petty thief but if she needed some kind of help, it was only right to offer it to her.
"I guess someone should go check on that Asbestos girl. I can probably find her, but..." The angel trailed off, thinking. He didn't want to lose Ken after randomly finding him. The man was strong, determined. And he'd probably want to know if he was being mind scrambled by some kind of cosmic entity. But Pit also wasn't about to throw down with the street fighter right in the middle of the parking lot in front of his family to get a friend heart into him. Assuming Pit would win anyway, he'd been on the receiving end of that Hurricane Kick before it packed a punch. Packed a kick?
"Oh! We're looking for information so maybe you could answer Yuri's questions, it might help you remember?" Pit sounded hopeful as he voiced the suggestion. The others could occupy Ken, and then he'd just go check up on Asbestos and come right back. Maybe even weasel an apology out of the girl if nothing else.
"I'll be back soon. Don't worry Ken, we'll fix your brain!" Pit said, hopping onto the top of the jeep and then off in the direction he'd seen Asbestos run. Before he got very far he twisted back, waving at Mrs. Masters and her son. "And nice meeting you both!"
“Somebody should fix his brain,” Kazooie remarked snidely, unprompted, in the wake of the angel’s sudden leave.
“Pit, wai-” Yuri started, but the angel was already running off. She worried that Asbestos girl might get the wrong idea if she saw Pit running after her. Maybe that wasn’t an entirely bad thing though. “Banjo” She said, turning to the bear that had more experience at this than either of them. “That girl seems incredibly well traveled. She only talked vaughly about what she had seen, but she could be more amenable to sharing details if you cured whatever was killing her with a friend heart.”
Shaking his head, Banjo politely replied, “Afraid I can’t, ma’am. I don’t think it works like that, and I’m not a doctor.” Mostly clueless to the reptile girl’s condition–be it medical, magical, or metaphysical–the point stood that neither him nor anyone he knew was particularly qualified to treat the sick or terminally ill. It was worth considering, however, that there may be one among their plentiful number back at home base who was. “Buuut, I’m sure Kazooie and I could still ‘help’ her, see where it goes from there…” he suggested with an expectant glance over his shoulder at his partner, awaiting her to inevitably endorse the idea.
“I’ve had worse excuses,” she replied with casual enthusiasm before lifting Banjo onto her back and setting off after Pit and the diseased reptilian girl in question, without waiting for any word or sign from him to go, for none were needed between them.
“Thank you.” Yuri said as the duo set off before turning her attention back to the Masters family and giving an apologetic bow. “I’m sorry. I never considered that this wasn’t her car. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Masters. Mel.” She stood up again. “Like Pit said, we’re here trying to gather information in the hopes of better understanding this world and helping people find their friends and loved ones. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you mind answering a few questions?”
“Eh, I don’t know how much I’d be able to tell ya, really.” Ken ran a hand through his hair. “I also don’t want to keep my family waiting forever, but I guess I can answer a couple questions, best I can.”
“Thank you. I promise this won’t take long.” Yuri replied, pulling out her notebook and a small pen. “When you first woke up in this world do you happen to remember where you were? Or, what you were doing right before that?”
The martial artist crossed his arms, a perturbed look on his face, as if something about the girl’s terminology struck him as bizarre. “You mean where we’ve been living? Well, we moved to Esaka a while back…don’t remember why, but since then, I’ve been squaring off against other fighters from across the world almost every day. Might sound strange, but fighting is pretty much the lifeblood of that place. I like testing out my skills as much as the next guy, but there’s some real tough customers, and after a real close shave I figured my family and I could use a little road trip.”
”I see. It sounds like an interesting place to live” Yuri said, slightly disturbed by her first real brush with the effects of Galeem’s domination. So it seemed that asking about their awakening was a non-starter. She could only assume that this ‘Esaka’ was where Ken and his family had been placed when they were engulfed by the light. Wasn’t that odd, though? As far as she knew Ken had gone to face the Master Hand army with everyone else, and she had never seen the woman or the boy he was with in the arena. Had Galeem intentionally placed him with his wife and child? She couldn't help the pang of jealousy that welled up in her. What was the difference between the people who were scattered and people like Ken?
“We’ll be heading for Esaka eventually.” She said, pushing her feelings down. “On your road trip, did you happen to see anything noteworthy between there and here? Other settlements, dangers, curiosities?”
The martial artist nodded. “Sure, a whole bunch, even if it’s been a little dicey at times. The countryside around Esaka is full of awesome Japanese and Chinese flavor. Palaces, pagodas, shrines, fortresses, you name it. There were festivals and haunted mountains, and just a crazy variety of yokai. Great places for fighting, let alone sightseeing. We stopped by a whole bunch on the way out, but we’re traveling to get something different, you know?” He cleared his throat as he continued, recalling the events of the past few weeks. “So we kept on goin’ southeastish, through the land of reeds..Spent a night in a hotel on top of a giant tree. Eventually we hit this huge valley filled with the ruins of some old city, sprawling out for miles and miles, totally overgrown. And sittin’ on the plateau above it all, Midgar. We heard about it and wanted to visit, but the ruins were full of weird creatures, and after a couple fights we high-tailed it outta there.”
Ken paused for a moment to catch his breath, then worked through the final stretch of his journey. “South of that, we hit this giant ravine, so deep you can’t see the bottom. Built right across it was the biggest circus I’ve ever seen in my life, roller coasters and all. Mel wanted to go, and for a bit we did, but something wasn’t quite right. It was…I dunno, just sort of creepy. If you head that way, keep an eye out. Anyway, south of that was another city, but this one had nothin’ but zombies in it! We were just about ready to give up and head back, but in the end we decided to go around, and boy was that the right decision. Took this windin’ path through the mountains around the east, and little lady, you won’t believe how gorgeous it was. Green hills, crystal-clear lakes, trees with golden leaves, cheery little villages, campsites, all sorts of animals...made the whole trip worthwhile.” He shrugged. “So we kept on goin’, and ended up here. Probably turnin’ back before long.”
“It’s good to know there’s a safe way around the dead city.” Yuri replied, again noting the description and directions Ken had given them. “Especially since it’s gotten worse. The city was reduced to a crater, and the rain there ages whatever it touches now.”
She tapped her pen on her notebook, before taking a shot. “If I could make a suggestion, if you plan to go a little farther, our group came from a similarly lovely place called The Land of Adventure. A village called Lumbridge. It’s just down the road that way, past the Hammerhead garage.” She gestured out to the road, giving the man the route they had taken to reach the arena from the town where they had started. “If you want to take in the sights or just restock for the journey home I can’t think of a better place. You might even find someone you know with all the travelers that come through it.”
Ken seemed to brighten up at the suggestion. "Hey, sounds pretty good to me. I'll see how Eliza and Mel feel." He gave Yuri a cheerful thumbs-up. "Thanks a bunch, li'l lady!" With that, he returned to his jeep, leaving the girl to await the return of her fellows.
Pit sprinted off down the lane of parked cars and open spaces, headed for the mundane white-and-brown camper van he’d been fortunate enough to spot the salamander girl disappear behind as she fled the scene of the crime. He rounded the back of the vehicle expecting no more than a shot at seeing where his quarry ran off to next, if anything at all, but instead stumbled upon the object of his search right there in front of him. Scarcely had Asbestos managed to break line of sight with the innocent bystanders she’d been bother than she collapsed to her knees, clinging to her tower shield as the last line of defense between her and the pavement as she hyperventilated. Her ragged gasps suggested some kind of respiratory issue, no doubt related to the terminal disease she hinted at so offhandedly. The operator’s back faced the new arrival, but even if she heard his sandal-clad footsteps as he slid to a stop, she couldn’t do much about it other than fight to regain her composure. Even compared to her previous scene, this was not a flattering display.
The scene surprised Pit, who hadn't expected to run into her so quickly but definitely hadn't expected to find her in such a sorry state. He flitted around her tower shield to peek at her face, worry for the stranger beginning to grow. He held his hands out to brace her.
"Are you okay?!"
When Asbestos met his gaze, her scowl only deepened. “Ugh! What’re you…? Nevermind! I’m…fine, okay? Just catching…my breath!” Gritting her teeth, she ignored his hands and tried to force herself to stand up. The cold sweat on her brow, however, made her struggle quite clear despite her best attempt to save face. Though the angel couldn’t know it just by looking at her, her untreated Oripathy had advanced to a point where even just a moderate burst of exertion left her in bad shape. It wouldn’t be long before the crystallization of her organs began. If Pit’s focus wasn’t on her, he might pick up on some motion and noise from inside the camper van she’d taken refuge behind - but as it was, his attention was devoted to the obviously not-fine woman in front of him. She was putting on a tough act, though it was not very convincing.
"You are not fine!" He said, still hovering around her. "You're sick, right? Let me help you, we can go find a doctor or a healer! Ken's not even mad at you for breaking into his car, it's okay."
“You deaf or somethin’?” the salamander girl snarled. She let go of her shield with one arm to shoo Pit away. “I said I’m-!” No sooner did Asbestos put her whole upper body’s weight on one arm than her hand slipped from its purchase. The next second she hit the pavement, hard enough to elicit a gasp of pain that carried a few shiny flecks of dark red fluid with it. Then, as if to add insult to injury, her door-sized shield tipped over in her direction, a split second away from falling down onto her back.
Pit swooped in, catching the hunk of metal before it could do her any damage, though it was a near thing. "I am trying to help you!" he said from behind the shield, maneuvering the heavy thing to the ground. He looked at Asbestos, clearly worried for her well being despite her protest. He offered his hand again, proving as stubborn as her. "So let me!"
If she could muster the strength to rebuff the angel’s plea Asbestos probably still would have, but as her continued humiliation proved, she had barely any pride left to salvage, let alone the wherewithal to salvage it. With a groan as much from despondency as from unwellness, she gave up her struggle at last, allowing her limbs to go limp. “Huhuh,” she laughed, bitterly. “Guess I ain’t foolin’ anyone.”
She breathed as deeply as she could, and let it out in a long sigh that ended in a couple coughs. “Ugh. I just thought…I had moah time.” Her dejected gaze fell on the pavement. “Oah maybe it was just wishful thinkin’. Now thatcha seen me like this, I guess…ya might as well.” Ruefully Asbestos glanced at Pit out of the corner of her eye. “‘Course, unless yah a real-ass miracle wahkah, theah ain’t much you can do foah me, angel boy.”
"I hope you're not giving up, I barely know you but that doesn't really seem like your style," he said, kneeling beside her. Now, miracle worker Pit may be, but it was not in the healing arts.
I wish Lady Palutena was here, she'd know exactly what to do. She could look into her lungs or heart or whatever is the problem... oh, heart...!? Pit arrived at the same thought that the group he'd left behind had come to. He had the same crash course about the process as everyone else at the Alcamoth, so he knew that low health + friend heart not only would break someone out of Galeem's influence, but also heal them completely. Surely that would be enough to fix whatever was ailing the salamander! Now if only he could actually do it.
"I've got an idea, but, um," he stopped, once again hovering around Asbestos and conflicted as to whether it would be safe to even try and move her. If she was in so much pain maybe carrying her would actually be worse. "I'm gonna have to leave you for a second and bring something back to you. So you're gonna stay put, right?"
Asbestos sighed, as if even rock-bottom expectations had been shattered. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m goin’ nowheah.”
Pit nodded, and then he was off once more. To his surprise though he didn't have to go very far.
The approaching chirps that accompanied every tallonfall faintly announced the bear and bird’s arrival on the scene, meeting Pit shortly into his backtrack for additional aid. “Oh…” Banjo started, seeing the floored sick patient-in-waiting in the distance over his shoulder and Kazooie’s back. “Done already?” he asked, assuming the possibility that the boy angel had quickly beaten her into submission, as if it would have been necessary.
"Huh?" Confused, Pit narrowed his eyes slightly. "No, she's still alive! But she could really use some help. I was coming back to get one of you for your heart!"
“OH… That serious, huh?”
“Sounds reeeal noble and all, but I think I need it more, thanks.”
The duo misinterpreted the boy angel’s request by his phrasing (or at least acted to), taking it to be more in line with a literal medical emergency, as opposed to what he was really asking for.
Unsurprisingly Pit didn't pick up on their joke, taking their puzzlement at face value. "Not that kind of heart!" he expressed, looking like he was seconds away from facepalming. "A friend heart!"
“Oh… right!” responded Banjo as if having a “Eureka” moment in light of the obvious. “That makes more sense.”
“I knew what he meant.” Whether she spoke true following jest, or saved face after joint confusion, only she really knew.
Banjo hopped down to dismount Kazooie, drawing herself back into his pack as they approached, calmly so as not to alarm the woman in need. He pulled a Friend Heart from his chest with one hand and held the other up in a placating gesture, emphasizing in his body language that they presented no threat, where keeping Pit company should ideally suffice for her. With her permission, he knelt down next to Asbestos and gently presented her the Heart…
“Here. It’s not much, but hopefully it helps.” With her medical condition, he could make no promises; just that he didn’t expect a cure-all. At the very least, she could be her own woman again.
While in no state to object, Asbestos kept a sharp eye on the bear as he approached, though her defensiveness turned to confusion when he popped a bright pink heart out of his hand to offer her. From the others’ descriptions Asbestos expected some sort of medical aid, maybe an injection, definitely not the sort of sprite one would expect to blossom in the eyes of a lovestruck cartoon character. Still, if it meant some kind of relief, the salamander girl accepted it nonetheless. Closing her eyes, she winced as Banjo drove the heart home.
There came the typical momentary, dazzling pop, and in a flash Asbestos was restored. She blinked, her eyes as comically wide as her mouth as she slowly picked herself up into a sitting position. After a moment’s utter bafflement she rolled her sleeve down to check her arm, then tugged at her collar to run a hand across her neck, shoulder, and chest, feeling for any irregularities. Her search turned up nothing other than a slight discoloration and scarring on her neck, which now wasn’t even visible above her turtleneck when in place. Try as she might, the operator could find no evidence against a single, overriding conclusion: that in a single flash, months’ worth of untreated affliction had been wiped away. Her Oripathy was back down to a wholly manageable level, and stable as the day she left her world behind.
“Well, I’ll be damned!” she exclaimed, filled with such relief and insuppressible glee that a sharp-toothed smile stretched ear to ear. “I’d just about fahgatten what feelin’ good’s like! Hoo…” Asbestos flopped backward against the side of the camper van, relaxed for the first time in ages. A sigh of long-awaited bliss escaped her as she allowed her head to fall back and her eyes to slide shut, not even minding the bonk of her head against the metal. A moment later, her green eye cracked open to glance at Banjo. “What the hell was that ya hit me with? Ya must be oaff ya rockah oah somethin’, wastin’ a miracle like that on the likes of me. No mattah how chummy ya ah, I’m not gonna retahn the favah.” With a grunt she got up to retrieve her shield, handling the massive, custom-built gadget like it was a kite. Avoiding the gaze of the others as she looked it over for damage, she muttered, “Still, yah alright, I guess.”
Delighted that the cure-all friend heart had worked, Pit split a vivid smile between Banjo and his newly healed patient.
"Aw, we're just happy to help!" He said. He nearly forgot the whole reason they'd run into Asbestos in the first place, and most likely would have if he Banjo and Kazooie weren't right there next to him. Instead of thanks (which would be going to Banjo anyway, realistically Pit was just the middle man), the angel would accept more information from the salamander girl, so eager not to let her go so quickly he spread his hands and started talking again.
"We don't need a favor, but we do want to know more about the places you've been!" he told her. "Didn't you have a bunch of stories that would— Um. Well, you know!"
Saying he didn’t want a favor and then asking for one took Asbestos by surprise, especially since she’d been hoping these do-gooders would graciously accept her implicit thanks and move on to the next sorry soul in need of salvation. “Well, uh…” The salamander girl took off her hat and ran a hand through her hair. As much as she wanted to blow the request off, it probably wasn’t an exaggeration to say she owed these people her life. Being her regular incorrigible self at that point would leave a bad taste in her mouth. She cleared her throat and gave the trio a nonchalant shrug. “...I guess. I mean, I ain’t really the story-tellin’ type, but I seen a couple sick-ass spots, suah. Like Esaka in the Fahbidden Kingdom, the place they cuall the Tieahed City.” A mischievous, sharp-toothed grin appeared on her face. “Tell ya what. Let’s grab some actual chow at the food couaht, and I’ll tell ya oall about it.”
“I could eat,” Banjo conceded with a casual shrug, having forgotten they had come from (a branch of) Grillby’s not long before, and extended a helping hand to Asbestos to lift her onto her feet (and support her further thereafter if she would take it).
“You’re buying,” came a terse insertion of condition from Kazooie in acceptance of the proposal.
"That works for me!" The angel said, glad for her agreement. "C'mon, let's go tell everyone the good news."
The four retraced their steps back to where they last saw Yuri and Ken, although Asbestos seemed understandably reluctant to show herself to the man whose young child she literally stole food from. They arrived just in time to see Ken pull away with his family and head off through the lot of parked car, which gave Yuri, Pit, Banjo, and Kazooie all the time in the world to decide what to do next, with or without their new hanger-on.
