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2 mos ago
Current best I got's a microwave burrito and a handle of popov, straight
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5 mos ago
when you smash ron after someone else calls riichi for one han just to make sure they get nothing
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11 mos ago
To this day, I regret not being able to try pre-nerf four loko
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11 mos ago
FREEDOM NEVER SLEEPS
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1 yr ago
are you seriously asking for a savage carry on RPG
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Renar Hagen


The curse-beast was slow and lumbering. Its massive reach damn near made up for that. Renar cursed under his breath as he saw the massive fist close in on him, and he dove forward to only narrowly evade it, coming up in a roll before continuing his sprint. He reached towards his belt as he ran, drawing a throwing dagger with his free hand and hurling it vaguely in the direction of center mass. There wasn't any time to aim properly as he ran, but hopefully, it would distract the creature long enough for him to close in without reprisal.

Mere moments after his throw, Renar cleared the last bit of distance and wove to the curse abomination's right flank, taking his poleaxe up and slashing the axe head into the back of the leg where the hamstring would be on an ordinary man. Hopefully, Fleuri got the cue and went for the other leg. With any luck, between the two of them, their efforts would send the accursed thing to its knees.

Renar Hagen


Well, well, well. It seemed the Lady Cazt's stalwart protector wasn't quite human, now was he? Or mortal, for that matter. Renar quickly adjusted his mental plans for dealing with Haelstadt should it be necessary to severing or just crippling the limbs. Whatever the knight was, its armor was still mundane enough to sustain damage from ordinary weapons, at the very least. But that was a matter for later. For now, there was the matter of the strange, evidently cursed, creatures rushing towards the defensive line. With them rushing straight towards the bulk of the Roses, there wasn't time to worry about much else.

"Then we'll chop them down, piece by piece." Renar hefted his poleaxe in response to Fleuri, his mind already racing to try to figure out the best approach to this challenge. Most of his specialized tricks and tactics weren't going to be particularly effective against fifteen-foot tall behemoths. "Perhaps I should start packing holy water into my bag of tricks, if dealing with dark magics is going to become a regular occurrence. In any case, we'll have to weave around them and aim for the hamstrings. Topple the wretches, and we'll copy what the Boars did to Lady Cazt's knight."

Renar pointed at the rightmost curse mutant before taking up his stance.

"With me, Sir Fleuri. If we bring one down starting from the flank, we can work through the rest while the main line holds them." With that said, he charged.

@Crimson Paladin
Jaromir Zhu


It really was a damn good thing he disdained frontline Mechs. The poor, stupid bastards up in front were already getting hammered, giving Jaromir plenty of time and opportunity to start drawing beads on targets. The people with anti-infantry weapons were already taking care of that little issue, which meant he'd be taking out the upcoming vehicles. Tanks were made of paper compared to Battlemechs, but a Large Laser was a Large Laser no matter what it was mounted on.

With his Trebuchet positioned in the rear of the lance, Jaromir started to line up his shots as the tanks came into view. One PPC shot crashed into the side armor of the Goblin that shot Fuka's Dragon, sloughing enough of its armor off that the AC/5 volley he fired immediately after outright cored it. Jaromir let out a low whistle as he started sighting his next target. Say what one will about the psychopaths in House Kurita, but they at least knew how to arm Mechs. The one extra heat sink in the 7K rendered its primary salvo heat-neutral, and a PPC with an AC/5 really wasn't a bad combination at all. This 7K damn well suited his likes, at least. He continued firing from his entrenched position, taking out a few more tanks before Remy's call for support came through.

"Acknowledged, repositioning." He replied easily over the comms, starting to shift his position to draw a bead on the Thumper. It'd start jacking his heat up, but he'd been running neutral long enough that it didn't matter. A few less autocannon shots would sort that out soon enough. From the bottom of the valley, he didn't have a decent enough sight line to really be able to draw an accurate bead on the Thumper, but at the very least, he'd be able to keep their heads down. "Starting covering fire, go, go, go!"

Jaromir opened up with the PPC, his first shot crashing into the canyon wall next to the Thumper. A click of his tongue in irritation. He adjusted his aim briefly, and fired again, mindful of his allied Firestarter's position and trying to not be the first one in the company to start a case of friendly fire.

@AndyC
Renar Hagen


"No fight is fair." Renar replied automatically to Fleuri, the words coming out of his mouth before he thought them through. That particular philosophy had been beaten into his head often enough that he couldn't ever quite stop himself from repeating it. Those vaunted tourneys that the Flower of the North had made his name in were much the same. What was a joust, but a demonstration of how well one could ride while wearing the densest block of steel they could pay for? A good suit of jousting armor was almost half a victory assured right there. The other half being a suitable charger to bear such a burden. "This isn't common cause. Just common sense."

As if to illustrate his point, Renar brought his poleaxe around in a flourish, driving the butt up into a charging Boar's crotch. While the man howled in pain, the Bastard of Brias brought his weapon's axe head down to split his skull. Even as the Boar fell, however, Renar took his off-hand and ripped his newest victim's dagger from its scabbard on his belt before hurling it straight into the eye of the next mercenary to charge him. Movement in his peripheral vision drew his attention, and he glanced over briefly before turning back towards the fight.

"We've a runner in the back of their formation. Likely sending for reinforcements." Renar said almost conversationally as he caught a sword on the haft of his poleaxe, twisting his grip so as to disarm the Boar who dared attack him. "None of those who broke ranks seem close enough to intercept, unless Dame Tyaethe sees fit to apply herself." The 'for once' went unsaid as Renar drove his spear tip into the Boar's chest, kicking him off his weapon in short order.

"If this marks the third occasion I have to miss the lion's share of the fun, I may be the one breaking ranks next time." It would have been a joke, had the sentiment behind it been any less real. "Honestly," Renar groused directly to the next Boar to try to kill him, feinting a horizontal sweep before stepping close and smashing the haft of his poleaxe straight into the mercenary's nose. "I was led to believe that you people would be an intriguing fight. Your reputation is starting to feel rather undeserved." The knight hooked the edge of his axe head around the man's neck, and pulled, a Boar's head flying into the air.

@Crimson Paladin
Kayliss Lambert


Her search was interrupted by the shifting tides of the battlefield. Evidently, the Morahti were still disciplined enough to try and rally instead of breaking. Inconvenient. Still, the change in priorities was obvious. The prisoners could wait. A stray arrow might actually kill someone important. Plus, Kayliss had never been given a direct order to prioritize either. That meant it was solely up to her judgement. A disconcerting thought, but not something to dwell on at the moment. There was still work to do.

Kayliss crept her way over towards the largest concentration of archers, keeping to the shadows. As before, the chaos of the raid kept her hidden enough for the moment, and she made her way over with little trouble, avoiding the skirmishers for the moment. Stopping to kill everyone in her way would have exposed her to the more important target. Once she was in range, Kayliss crept down behind some fallen debris before making her move.

She lit the fuse on a small bomb and lobbed it over cover, where the flash powder within detonated as it landed in sight of the archers, blinding enough of them for her to get to work. Kayliss vaulted over the debris, blades drawn, and started mercilessly tearing into the temporarily-blinded men, going for quick, efficient kills. The deblitating effect of the flash bomb didn't last too long, and she'd be exposed in the midst of a pack of enemies if she tarried.
Salvator Rasch


"The hell are you doing?! Cease fire!" Salvator barked at Kleo as she started spraying suppressive fire. "We're trying to get out of this without a firefight, damn it!"

Fortunately, it seemed that whoever contacted them was at least convinced enough to back down first. Still, the kid was rapidly becoming a liability. If they made it out of this in one piece, someone was going to have to talk to whoever was in charge of this cell about personnel assignments. At this rate, it'd probably end up being him.

"There, they're backing down. Now you do the void-damned same before you start a fight we didn't need to take." Rasch hissed. He was set to respond back to the mystery voice before the transmission was cut all of a sudden. No, hijacked again. He winced as he saw the heavy assault team progress, whoever was handling the camera berating them all. Fuck. One thing after another today, wasn't it. The last thing they needed was this team pissed off at them.

"Take up our handler's crap choice of equipment first. Someone else broke into this line, probably why it's taken this long for you to reach us." He responded smoothly, briefly checking his HUD's map to see how far they were. Huh. After all this, the squad was about halfway there themselves. Convenient.

"We're matching your pace. Halfway to the artillery platform. Void willing, we'll both be hitting our targets at about the same time. Cutting the line, we're about to go radio silent." That said, Salvator did exactly as he said he would and ended the call, trying to connect back to the locals. Once he did, he quickly started speaking again.

"Sorry, had to take that. Anyways, you're not wrong. We're going for the artillery platform. At this point, seems we've got mutual interests. Care to work together on this one? Better odds the more firepower we have."
Renar Hagen


Renar almost smiled when the Boars showed their faces. Finally. While he didn't share his best friends' utter animosity towards the Golden Boars, he was simply glad to finally be done with the tedious investigation and questioning. He dropped into a ready stance, taking up his poleaxe as he joined Fleuri in covering the Cazt girl, as per the captain's orders. No time for personal distaste. They had a battle to win and an objective to meet.

He did smirk as Fionn and Gerard ignored orders for once and tore off, chomping at the bit to slaughter as many Boars as they could. Good to see he hadn't lost his touch in reading people, after all.

"If you insist." Renar gave a bereaved sigh towards Fionn in response, though not without getting one last statement in before he tore off out of range. "At least try to take the leader alive. We need answers." With that said, he stepped forward, taking one hand off his weapon as he reached into a belt pouch.

"Sir Fleuri, I'll cover the right flank. You take the left. Lady Cazt, do try to stay behind your protectors, yes?" He said, rancor absent from his tone as he focused on the battle before them. The Curse Hounds charged, and Renar threw a brace of caltrops a ways into the ground away from the defenders. For anyone wearing decent footwear, they'd barely be an impediment. For a pack of madly charging dogs with soft paws? That was a different story. The first hound to approach stumbled and yelped in pain as it ran through the caltrops, and Renar cleaved into its head with a single swing of his poleaxe. His backswing smashed another's brains in with the hammer head, and the third hound tried to lunge at him, only for the Bastard of Brias to punt it in the snout. The demonic beast crumpled, and Renar's plated greave came crashing down into its neck.

Then came the actual human wave. A pair of Boars rushed at Renar, and his expression behind his visor turned into one of manaical glee. His off hand reached into his belt pouch once more, and pulled out a pair of vials. He crushed them within the palm of his gauntlet, and hurled the contents out towards the Boars when they came into range. Fine sand, metal shavings, and the crushed glass of the vials went flying into their eyes, leaving them screaming and writhing for mere moments before Renar unceremoniously executed them with thrusts to the chest.

"Come, come!" He laughed mockingly, brandishing his poleaxe in a defensive stance. "They say you Boars will do anything for victory, and yet you can't even manage that at this moment! Worthless!"

@VitaVitaAR @Crimson Paladin @The Otter
Kayliss Lambert


Ironically enough, it was somewhat easier to hide in the chaos of pitched battle. People rushed straight towards obvious threats instead of jumping at shadows, and the noise covered up any missteps that could be made. Still, Kayliss did her part here and there. As the Morathi began to try to meet the ambush head-on, Kayliss reached out from around tents and behind cover, picking off stragglers in the rear with quick cuts to the throat from behind.

As the remainder of the Lions began to breach the camp, Kayliss stuck to the shadows, now looking for the prisoners in earnest. One tent, nothing. Another, a slumbering foreigner too drunk to be woken by even this clamour. She jammed a blade into his windpipe. As she emerged from that tent, Kayliss noticed Urden in the midst of cleaving through the Morathi. One managed to retain enough presence of mind to try to flank the former mercenary, and Kayliss quickly ambushed him from behind, dragging him into the shadows where she finished him with a quick neck snap.

That done, she briefly popped her head out from behind cover, raising her voice as Urden finished off the last of the Morathi in their immediate surroundings.

"I've not located the prisoners yet. Try another section of tents. And watch your flank next time."

Her piece said, she slinked back into the cover of darkness and continued her search.

@Eisenhorn
Ranbu no Izayoi


"Fine. The cappuccino, then." Was all Izayoi said in response to Eliane before tuning out the rest of her coffee spiel. Gods, how close the woman sounded to certain tea ceremony enthusiasts she had been familiar with. She strode up to the counter, placed her order, and joined the others at the table they'd picked out, sitting down. When the drinks arrived, Izayoi took a cautious sip of her coffee.

Hm. Entirely foreign and unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. It certainly wasn't something she'd want to consume regularly, but every once in a while, Izayoi could see herself wanting a beverage such as this.

"Not unsatisfactory." Izayoi noted aloud, affording Eliane a brief nod of regard. "Perhaps there is something of worth to this drink after all."

"Um, Izayoi, how about we-" Neve cut herself off, raising a hand to cover her mouth as Izayoi scowled in response.

"I told you one simple thing, and you could not even-" She snapped, but was cut off by one of the customers in the booth next to them dropping his mug, looking at her in unabashed horror.

"Y-you..." The burly man stammered, to which Izayoi raised an eyebrow.

"No. Whomever you believe me to be, I am but a wanderer." She attempted to lie through her teeth, to which the man shook his head, backing away from her.

"Liar! I know that face! Those eyes! I was at the Central Plains! Monster! Butcher! Demon!" The man screamed in hysteria, spittle flowing from his mouth before he fled the shop. Izayoi watched dispassionately as he left, sighing as the remaining eyes in the shop turned on her. One last sip of her drink, and she set it down before standing, placing her hat back atop her head.

"Perhaps I should leave first. I will seek the rest of you out later at the lodge Galahad mentioned. We may have to accelerate our timetable within this city, lest this cause problems." With that said, she wrapped her cloak around herself before starting to make her way out of the coffee shop, brushing past the startled owner.

___

Hours later, as sundown neared, each member of the party would inevitably find their way back to the lodge Galahad had pointed out. Waiting for them there, however, was a messenger in House Caradoc's livery, who knelt as soon as he beheld Galahad.

"My lord. Your father bids you to return home and join him for the evening meal. Your present party included of course. Including the, ah," He eyed Izayoi nervously, who settled for a brief narrowing of her eyes. "Person of distinction. Rumors have been buzzing for hours, you see. He wishes to verify them for himself. And for you to...explain, as it were."

His message delivered, the man rose and began to leave, likely heading back to the Caradoc manor himself. Once he did, Izayoi slid the inch of sword she'd drawn beneath her cloak back into its scabbard, turning to Galahad.

"Words cannot begin to describe how much I would prefer to not accompany you tonight. The last time I spoke to your father, I was demanding that he surrender the city to me. However, it seems that he is all but demanding our presence. If you believe my presence will be less harmful to your case than my absence, I will follow."

@Vietmyke
Renar Hagen


Behind the face-concealing visor of his helmet, Renar stared incredulously at Veilena Cazt and her bodyguard as they emerged, the dots connecting in his mind as Clarice spoke. She was the one who had wanted this shard in the first place? This was...unexpected. If she claimed to not be the enemy of the Iron Rose, that left precious few reasons why any of this even occurred. Without knowing much of the girl's mind, Renar's best guess was personal responsibility. Perhaps a member of her family was the reason this shard was even loose in the first place. Perhaps it had been her father's crime. His grip tightened around the haft of his poleaxe at the thought. Utterly ridiculous. But they lived in a society where children were judged on the actions of their forefathers, after all.

"Words are as wind." Renar said flatly, stepping to the side as he sized up Haelstadt. The giant was the same as ever. Renar lacked the advantage in reach and strength. Against such a foe, only guile remained. Assuming he would be hostile, of course. But he'd be a failure of a knight to not prepare for such an eventuality.

"Quite the puppet show you've put on, Lady Cazt. It only cost the lives of an entire fort's worth of the Crown's men-at-arms. If you were our enemy, I'd almost be impressed. Of course, if you truly aren't, we could at least hope for your complete and total cooperation in this manner so as to resolve it with minimal waste of life from here on out?"
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