Windel is a little preoccupied so I'll just convey my grasp of his and KoL's feelings on this.
First off, there is a misconception going on here. You see, it's a GMs responsibility to consider the uses of everyone else's characters and how they can operate in the world of the RP. When they are concerned about the limits of a power, it's because they can see how it could be legitimately used in excess unless addressed outright. In one regard it's an acknowledgement of the creativity of your creation, as annoying a process as it may be.
While you may not intend to use the character in the capacity KoL and Windel imagine, they need to clarify because it still exists until those details are hammered out. So don't stress presuming they hate your character because it receives more scrutiny then most.
Secondly, the limit to summons is 3-4. No more then that.
Thirdly, and this is entirely me but i know KoL thinks similarly, that Cool downs after the fact for a few days is kinda superfluous considering time skips are a thing. It's a nice thought but at that point you may as well say you can only summon a particular phobia once a night.
For starters, we never said we don't like the idea of her being a summoner. I even told you that's all fine, just limit the number of summons. Besides, if each summon takes a limb and renders them out of commission, then isn't it fair to say she can only have 3-4 summons anyway? In any case, this isn't a point that will be changed. As @Lonewolf685 said, 3-4, no more than that. It's not up for discussion.
On to each summon having a weakness; again, that's fine, but you need to put those in your CS. As @Lonewolf685 said yet again, it's the GM's job to make sure these powers aren't too OP for the setting they're playing in but if you make these weaknesses more apparent into her CS, then that makes it all the easier for all of us. I can allow defeated summons not appearing for several nights but understand that time skips will usually be a thing in this RP; as such, that would make this aspect almost unnecessary. Depending on how the story goes will determine how time flows but overall, I can accept this limitation.
Onto her being rendered weak; there is reason why we put each of your characters into your teams. I don't see how limiting the number of summons limits any creativity on her part because she still has one for each limb. I do see how she would be rendered immobile because of her magic, but also remember you have a partner, as well as the rest of the Magical Girls to help you. It's not like you're fighting alone here so I have to say I'm keeping firm on the notion for 3-4 summons. If she finds herself in a bad situation, call upon your partner or the other Magical Girls to help IC.
Something else I want to address that I'm not sure if you responded to or not, but we'd like her fear-reading ability to change. That's simply too problematic for us to manage if she can read every character's fear. Thus, I suggest you can change to something like pulling from a general and universal pool of fears. After all, her summons already kind of go off that theme anyway as they all fit with general fears most people have.
Overall, you can have the summons provided you make their weaknesses more clear in her CS, limit it to 3-4, and consider changing her fear-reading ability to one where it's universal pool of fears or something else that doesn't involve reading other character's fears. That's the compromise and the verdict we've given. Again, we never said we blatantly don't like your character. But you need to edit her to fit the appropriate suggestions we make as GMs to make sure she's balanced and fun to play as regarding other characters.
SO I know I'm missing quite a bit and it looks rough but all that'll change soon but I wanted to have the magic, in general, looked at, I didn't see any hardcore restrictions on the magic so I used other people's character for reference and think this fits within the norm...kinda
• Appearance:
• Name: Soma Ikka • Title: Sanctuary / Bastion • Age: 17 • Emblem: A rose gold colored naval piercing • Devil Arm: Her devil arm isn’t something she can just walk around in normal society without proper consideration on concealment this being because her D.arm is a six-foot iron flag where the flag itself if unfurled is nearly ten feet long with different jewels dangling at the tail. The iron rod that serves as the pole has a point at the end that’s sharp enough to use as a weapon while the iron can block several attacks being so sturdy. There are twenty different jewels nineteen of which are created for the flag's magic while the other allows her access to her other abilities
• Magic: Soma much to her annoyance is oriented towards protection like her given title, it’s also split between herself and the Devil arm she uses.
Fortification: Soma’s weapon has the ability to summon structures that she has laid siege to or has claimed, though the sheer scale of the ‘fortress’ will require time to summon and the land around her in a radius must be able to hold the fort itself. The average home will take five minutes of preparation and two minutes for the actual summoning; this will scale accordingly depending on the square footage she is trying to summon. The act of summoning anchors her to the ground, while channeling takes place during that time she must be guarded in order to achieve a successful summoning as the flag itself bends space around it to bring the structure into existence. The average five-minute preparation starts at one hundred square meters with an up or down curve at the time required around every five square meters adding or subtracting five minutes. The flag is able to sustain the fort, so long as it remains in the very place it was used to summon which the location moves when a castle or fortress is summoned to the place where she claimed it; once moved the spell is broken and the building will be sucked back into the flag a very hazardous thing for both parties if people are still inside even some lesser spirits can be sucked in and trapped within the flag until that castle is summoned again. Because the weapon cannot be moved once its summoned a home Soma has taken to converting the jewels into various bits of jewelry to stay within a watered-down version of her transformed state this allows her to use her other magics normally though with lower access to her mana pool.
Claimed / Lay siege: The act of Soma stabbing her flag into a structure and capturing it into an empty slot in her flag the time it takes differs greatly, especially if the structure is currently owned by someone at that present time and the size of the building. If the fort is empty and no owner is present to stake a claim the capture time will default to three minutes and then the curve up based on how large the claim area is which can be adjusted so it is possible for Soma to take away a section of a castle instead of the entire building. When Laying siege, the structure must be won by defeating the previous owner, clearing the surrounding area of all hostiles or the previous owner can forfeit the land to her via contract; If Soma and her allies conquer an area, it will take considerably less time to claim it through a great deal more effort to earn that claim, if she is given the structure by written contract the claim will be instant and no wait time will be required. In addition, when she has used up all available jewels and can no longer capture Soma has to sign over the rights to a structure she already owns in writing before the flag will release its hold on it.
Forcefield generation: The ability to summon, construct, generate and manipulate forcefields with the ability to change everything from the size and density to the shape and even the solidity of each force-field she creates. Limited in range by ten feet in a radius around her, however, if she focuses it on protecting another person the range is increased to fifty. The shields are all energy in nature and can be broken, any shield that shatters will explode damaging not only the person inside it but also turning the field around it into a hazard. These shields create a rift in space as they bend the world around them when they are born and that space collapses in and refills when they are destroyed, this aspect of them make them fairly useful as cages to lock someone or something inside.
• Background: Soma is an enigma and the owner of the urban legend ghost house that has been appearing and disappearing randomly throughout the state and now recently taken up residence in Miso city where her home has taken over a vacant lot and has garnered almost no attention whatsoever. It should come as no surprise that this isn’t how it always was, in fact Soma and her elder sister Sol lived with their single father in the backwoods country. Soma and her sister weren’t exactly the best-behaved children in the town as it seemed like every day they were in some form of trouble with someone. Sol loved to finish someone else’s fight and test just how strong she really was against the other kids while Soma herself would sneak out of the house and explore around even outside the town. Sol would sometimes accompany her sister on her ‘expeditions’ and the dynamic duo would get into all sorts of trouble behind the grownups where they were promptly delivered back to their father. Soma never truly learned her lesson and would do the same thing all over again wanting to just get a glimpse of the ‘bigger picture’ as she put it wanting to know more about the past as well as the future with that big stupid smile painted on her face.
As she grew so did her curiosity and it seemed a little bit of that rubbed off on Sol as she was the first to go with nothing but a note telling everyone not to worry. Soma herself prepped up for her own journey taking her father’s blessing and promising to slug her sister if they should ever cross paths. Her first stop was an accidental one, getting lost is never part of the plan but it happens, and a teenage Soma found herself wondering the forest with no direction and far away from anything that even resembled a landmark on her map, it was here that she became a magical girl however, the details of which she refuses the disclose only giving an eye roll to those who ask before quickly changing the subject. With her new powers came what she would consider responsibility this being the contributing factor for her to return home only to learn that her father had passed away some time ago leaving her and her still missing sister the house they all grew up in. After visiting his grave and promising to do better and taking the house as her first captured piece of land she set out with a clear goal in mind, to provide and protect anyone who needed shelter.
• Inventory: Nothing worth noting
“I certainly do a lot of walking,” a girl complained as she trudged forward along the sidewalk of Miso City at night. The night of a new moon with no little street lights to offer a clear direction that combined with the fact she just arrived in town nearly an hour ago with no map to speak of “I’m lost,” she sighed pulling up her backpack for a better grip. Under normal circumstances, she’d have camped out in the woods and resumed her journey in the morning, but being that she was so close to town the girl decided to travel at night, the only good thing about this decision of hers was that the low visibility would offer decent coverage if she found a vacant lot to put down her home. Her stomach rumbled her clothing stunk of sweat and her once platinum blond full of life was now hung low in a dingy yellow matted down from being rained on too much, this past week was not kind; the last place she settled her home went south so fast she didn’t have the proper chance to wash up, so she’s been camping outside for the past four weeks.
Soma was so caught up in the search for a place to call a temporary home, she barely noticed that she had been being stalked since entering town “Why me?” she asked as a nightmare who couldn’t wait decided to jump the gun and attack her. It didn’t take but a fraction of a second for her to transform and put up a shield around her back breaking the creature's claws off when it collided with it, as it reeled back the magical girl punished it further for its hastiness by creating ‘spike’ shaped force fields that added onto her wall and extended outward skewering it.
“Anything with a point can pierce, anything with an edge can cut, remember that,”
That nightmare’s death signaled the rest to start attacking her “Why me,” Soma sighed tossing her backpack high in the air and prepared to defend herself using the flag as a spear while covering her back from attacks. Being on her own for a good chunk of her teenage life she learned to handle herself in a fight quickly so dispatching nightmares has become somewhat of an annoyance than a real threat. The battle itself didn’t last too long however it moved much further away from where it starts as she still needed to find a place to stay and as luck would have it the battle ended on what would become her new place of residence.
“Sometimes the universe just gives you a free one I guess,” she chuckled, beginning the summoning of her house, then she realized “I forgot to grab my backpack on the way down….. why me”
• Other: As a vagrant vagabond Soma has turned into an expert survivalist and can carve out a living in even the most hazardous of conditions.
Interesting. Just to be clear, the jewels on her flag allows her to use her forcefields and siege magic, yes? How many jewels does she have on her flag to contain structures? If she runs out of slots, does she replace one with another structure?
I'll leave KoL to decide if the one hundred square meter mark for her Fortification magic is fine as it is or should be tweaked. Overall though, her forcefield and siege magic in general is fine aside from the questions I have about them. Her background is also fine and fitting of Miso City's themes.
Just as @TheWindel said, her backstory is ok, and I think the powers are pretty much alright as well, however, there are a few issues other than the number of gems that I'd like to ask about:
- The 100 m² area refers just to the building's perimeter or to the total floor area? In other words, if she had to create something with more than one floor, would she have to reduce reduce the area of the building to compensate for the extra floors, or not?
- Also, could you elaborate a bit more on how that force field traps being inside of it? Is it invisible or not? Also, how is it that the range increases from 10 to 50 feet just because she's protecting someone else?
These are the questions that I have in mind now, if I think of anything else I'll say it later.
Only one jewel is designated for her shields out of twenty (I just made that edit)
If she uses up all her slots she has to sign over the property to another owner before that jewel is able to be used for another structure (just made that edit as well)
Its total floor area also she doesn't create these structures herself she has to get places that are already built.
A part of the way she written is that her magic is supposed to be for the protection of others instead of herself so it's stronger when her magic is being used in a way that puts someone else's life above her own
Accepted. Place her into the Character Tab and post into the IC at any time.
To everyone else, we will no longer be accepting any new Dark Magical Girls for the time being. As for new characters, there is one spot left to play a Light Magical Girl if anyone is interested.
