Everything was a blur, only for darkness to take hold over her vision and mind as the others picked her up and transported her finally to Valheim. Even James' words to her didn't really register to her unconcious mind, though his efforts did certainly help her insides stay inside and her outsides stay outside for that matter. Yet even then she had no way to know of Arthur and Clive's fates in her state, nor an understanding of whatever James alone could have detected about her when he had tended to her. She also didn't know whether MacKensie was safe, or if Fenna or her bird were still in one piece. Not even knowledge of whatever it was standing over her, or the cyborg water ninja's fate, coould have been gleaned. Not even a single word of Zell's grand speech could be heard. In the end, neither did her mind register the soft warmth of Adam's arms as he picked her up and carried her along with the others, her breathing somewhat unstable as her flesh and blood tried to stay alive as best as it could...
...though along the way she certainly wasn't wholly silent at least.
'Un..cle..."A little mumbling in her sleep. Did she think she was still trying to stay awake? Well that was certainly-
'Ta..cos..."Eh? No wait that was a little drool cooming from the corner of her mouth. Was she dreaming about food, or home?
Then her body curled up a little in Adam's arms as a small whimper escaped her lips, the dreaming seeming to shift visibly as her unconscious countenance changed sharply. But what could be causing it? What could it be?
...
...
...
...
Darkness. Pure oblivion sitting before her with its neverending maw stretched open wide for her, sitting there under her like she was standing on some invisible platform that could crack and give way under her feet at any moment.
Had anything or anyone heard her? Maybe. Or perhaps it didn't care to say anything back to her. Maybe only James could tell if there was anything there, for all she knew, but in the end it didn't matter.
...She didn't even know if the others were still alive, or if she was either.
Heh. It was so strange, but part of her almost didn't care to know. What was the point? She'd died already, and now she was dying or already dead once again. Below her was the eternity of oblivion, or perhaps something else she hadn't a clue about, and...well it was all so fleeting.
Life, that is. Like a short blip on the radar of eternity. If you blinked, you'd miss it.
And what had she done with that life? Wasted it being drug around by people who didn't bother asking her what she wanted to be? To become? Then barely scraping into a point where she had the reins, ohnly to just die in the middle of a pretty normal day, out of the blue, like it was nothing. It was...haha! Hahahahaha! It was LAUGHABLE at best!
Then what had she done after waking up soulnapped into some other magical world? Nothing of use. She'd panicked in a stone coffin that felt like it had fallen from the sky or something, which apaprently had been the case, and missed the blasted first battle. She'd made a shelter by overthinking everything from the start, and then fondled a MAGICAL UNDEAD CONTROL CORE MADE BY A CRAZY NECROMANCER that had given her nightmares and a sense of some potent magical power far away in the end. After that? Not talk to anyone really.
Heck, she hadn't even bothered to talk to the others by the fire. Hadn't joined MacKensie on the watch. Hadn't done a single thing to talk to anyone but a small bit to Adam, or even Fenna. Hadn't even so much as engaged more with Clive or Arthur or Zell, beyond some kind of unspoken first impression, though in hindsight she could remember that one random answer she'd made to Cliuve's attempt to comment on her shelter. Not even time to...well, she was certainly alone still in other ways to boot. Had she even seen anyone that she'd, ah, well thought was nice-looking? Maybe. Ah...but what were the chances she'd get the chance to say anything? Get to know anyone like that well enough, or know if they'd like her in return?
Ha. Maybe she was secretly forty after spending time dead back home for a while, and had been kidnapped to another world to become a wizard as her reward for the milestone! Oh that'd be priceless.
On top of that, the group had all taken her at her word seemingly outright despite being strangers! Did these people have no common sense?! Did they not worry about someone willing to lie to them or the like?!?! They were in some foreign, dangerous place with all of this crap that had been going on! Who just decided to take everything at face value like that? Idiots. Loveable, kind, honest, and goo, yet still idiots for that all the same.
Ah.
Then she'd barely did anything but carry the stupid little trinket into the Mazy Hillocks, cast a couple spells, and then decided to turn herself into human barbecue to suicidally spite a random evil cyborg water ninja who had impaled her through the torso with a water sword. A. Cyborg. Magical. Ninja. With. Water Powers. And. A. Water. Sword. Just how absurd could it all get? Certainly the magical world was something, but part of her just wanted to laugh at it and cry at the same time too.
...So why wasn't the floor giving out under her yet? If she was dying, it was sure taking a long time to do so. She could only mock herself and the universe so much in a pitiful, last-moment-of-life rant for so long before she ran out of material here or went insane from the tension of it all.
Because in the end, she still didn't want to die. She didn't want to die alone. She didn't want to spend an eternity isolated and at an insurmountable distance from everything and everyone else.
What had 'genius' gotten her? Praises and accolades from deans and officials and teachers alike? Divorcing parents and siblings torn apart from each other? Loads of college debt and scholarships for things she hadn't even chosen to go into or do? Thrown into the home of an uncle who didn't deserve to deal with the mess of housing her disrupting the life he'd made for himself? Brought on shopping trips with a woman and her two daughters who were nice to her, even though she didn't deserve any of it?
She was the pathetic one, really, in the end of it all. Yet here she was, in the middle of all of this and thrown into something she had no idea about before dying again. Albeit dying on her own terms this time, if she had to find the silver lining to it all.
...
...
...
...Wait. What was that light suddenly rushing up from the abyss towar-?!
"The patient hasn't woken up yet...should we call the healers back in?"
"We used the water diffusion spell to administer the perscribed potions to her system, and waited the appropriate amount of time for her body to heal. We did find markers of her brief contact with soome kind of dark magic, but nothing lingering like a curse or other such affliction stemming from it. By all means, her system is clean.
So I would chock it up to her state of deep sleep. A nightmare if her sleeping expression is of any indication, even after the application of the body relaxing charm spell to stop her tossing and turning in the seat.""You seem to know quite a lot about these things."
"Well I've been working here for some time now, and this is your first day on the job after all. You can't expect to know everything from the start, but I'd say use these cases as a learning experience.
Plus the healers are currently having to deal with that Platinum-ranked adventuring party in surgery, according to the latest Message spell sent to us. Worst case we can call in the nursing staff to assist, as they would be specialized in helping wake the patient if she was lingering under a sedation spell, but we can't interrupt a whole party being operated on in the operating theater either. Not a batch of cases that severe. They need all hands on deck for that one for sure.""Gotcha... So we just keep waiting for the patient to wake for the time being, then?"
"Presicely. If she does not wake in about, tch, fifteen more minutes? And still has no abnormal readings or otherwise? Then we should grab some assistance for-
Ah! Speaking of our sleeping friend here, the patient seems to be waking u-"
From the waiting area where Zell, Adam, James, and Fenna were sitting, a voice and two distinct sounds would be audible somewhere down the main hall as they could be heard even as far as the waiting area. They were certainly the sort of sounds that were enough to get a few staff members seemingly concerned and rushing down the hall toward the room that Lillianna was being cared for in, but which at the same time were sounds that would perhaps not be entirely alien to the ears of the other group members either. In fact, there was the potential for those who could hear potentially having a sort of deja vu if they remember a certain someone waking up back in-
"LIGHTNING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLT!!!"
Wait, why was Lillianna suddenly shouting that loud and-
...Ooooooh no.
The door to the mage's room, down the main hall from where the waiting area was, would suddenly open up as a pair of medical assistants stumbled out and into the hall. One of them was a man with blue skin and horns on his head, with the other being a slightly taller man with pointed ears and a more slender build, though both seemed to be coughing a little bit as the other staff moved them to the side of the hall and others entered the room itself. Their clothes seemed to be clean and intact, though, and the former of the two men would raise a hand before speaking as he was inspected over.
"Patient is awake and fine...woke in a panic and...cast a spell suddenly on waking up. Room is going to....*cough*...repair itself and be fine...just send the janitors....*wheeze*...in."
The man with pointed ears would then butt in right after.
"I put out the fire...*cough*...all by myself...asshole..."
The blue skinned man glared back, and the slender taller man back at him in turn, before staff around the two men quickly separated them before they could come to potential blows. One even seemed to start lecturing them, visibly at least, though kept her voice down when doing so apparently to avoid everyone being able to hear her.
Then finally, sheepishly, and with a face that looked utterly mortified and panicked at whatever she'd done, Lillianna would slowly emerge from the room. With her would be a short, stout woman with short fiery red hair in a couple of braids, who was escorting her gently by one hand. This was all as the mage otherwise clutched her odd staff tightly to her body with her other free hand, with said free hand's knuckles were admittedly turning a bit white from how tight she held it to boot. Even so, the stout woman seemed to talk to her where the others couldn't hear as she led her along, walking her along to where the rest of the party was before letting out a small sigh.
"Yer' friend's goin' ta' be fine, got er' potions in ahn' ah' checked her out fore' bringing her over here jus' ta' make sure. Tha' assistants at' were in er' room takin' care of her'll be fine as well. Room'll even repair isself' ahn' everythin' too, so no worries bout' the damages. We're well prepared fer' this sorta' thin' ere'."
The stout nurse's face then seemed to rapidly change, going from 'professional' to 'shit-eating grin a big as it could be' before a hearty laugh erupted from her throat. A definite 180 from what she had come over seeming like. She even gave the twin-element mage a joyful slap on the mid-back, causing Lillianna to jump a bit in the direction of her group members before the nurse continued speaking with a now joyful somewhat glee-filled tone.
"Relax, lass, yer' fine like ah' told yeh' back there! An' personally speakin', ah' needed ta' see all o' that ta'day! Hahaha!!! Ah...whew! Kay'. Ta'day's been ah' rough one fer' sure, lads' n' lasses', think ah' few of us needed somethin' like at' ta' snap us outta' tha' sour mood and get us' thinkin' bout' thing gain'.
Ahn' if this one's any indicashun', be sure ta' send any more friends of yer's ere' if they need help too. "
As she seemed to calm back down, though, the nurse put a hand to her chest and then adopted a softer and once more 'professional' type look. Her gaze then turned to Lillianna once more as she smiled back at her calmly.
"But truly, dunna' worry any bout' tha' damage though. Ah' meant that seriously. Even our clothin' ere's got some magic ta' protect us, buildin' too, so no worries bout' that stuff. Take yer' time, lass, ahn' dunna' forget ta' take tha' time ta' breathe, ok? Come back any time ya' and yer' friends need ta', darlin', ahn' if anyone ever tries ta' judge yeh' ere' jus' ask fer' ol' Head Nurse Kreim'ild ere' and ah'll set em' all straight!"
The mage would slowly, even if still a little nervously (but not as much now) nod back silently in return. With that, and a small wave, the stout woman would leave Lillianna with the group and walk back down the hall. A few staff walking down the hall would move to avoid her path, though others would simply walk by her like it was normal business. It certainly was telling if she was the actual "Head Nurse" of the place, though, especially as she seemed to move directly toward where Lillianna's two former in-room caretakers were still being held apart from each other by their peers.
...Perhaps it was best to not spy in on that business at this point.
Whatever the case would be for the staff down there, in the meantime the white-haired girl would look back over at her party-mates and silently look over their faces. Their hands. Their postures. The anchor now sitting on James' back and the absence of his staff. Without a word her expression seemed to drop into that of a more acute worry and concern, among other emotions that seemed to be swirling within her just behind that expression, and yet she seemed to be unable to get a single word to come out in the heat of the moment as her mouth opened and then silently shut again. Both of her hands now clutches at her staff tightly and with slightly white knuckles, though after a few more moments of awkward silence on her part the mage would take a gulp and open her mouth once more in an attempt to say something while looking at each of the faces of the group members there in the eye.
"...I'm happy to see you...so....so happy to see you all are still alive."Her voice would slightly crack audibly as she spoke, all as small tear would very visibly run out from the far corner of her right eye. The year would begin slowly starting to fall down her cheek as it left a slightly glistening trail behind it. Like a small crack in the dam she had thrown up, which was threatening to burst even more so at any given moment as she struggled more visibly to hold it all back.
In reality, she felt like she was barely holding it back by a thread at best. Like she was afraid any more, or a hug, or something and she'd burst open with all of the tears and the sobbing and all of it. Tears she'd been trying to hold back for some time for a beloved uncle and a home now long lost to her, and new ones she'd be shedding along the way for people who had apparently risked their lives for and now carried her to a hospital in what she'd assume was Valheim...as well other tears shed to boot for the lost. The anchor strapped to James by its chains was more than telling of something having happened to Arthur, and the lack of the presence of Clive and MacKensie and Joji was something that she worried meant the worst had happened to...t-to them too. And on top of all of that she'd-...she had...after all of that and...she'd almost died. Alone. Alone and left sitting in the darkness once more.
She was trying to be strong...so much...for so long thus far...it...and it was at least more visible to the remaining members of the group. She struggled to even put words or further actions to it though...to allow herself to let it all go in this instance. Her, someone who had held herself and all her life been held by others to 'be strong' and 'restrain herself' and all of that crap. And here she was, not far from bursting at the seams.