Ryn locked the door to his room after double-checking that he had everything in the gift basket, circumventing any possible future where he’d embarrass himself and/or any nearby empaths by trying to present something that was never there in the first place. He slipped the key into his pocket and was making his way to the lobby when he heard chatter coming from that direction.
At the entrance, Luz and Sir Barrios were in the middle of a conversation. The surrounding servants, who presumably assisted them to this point, were filing down the hallway. When they came across the count, they bowed respectfully. Ryn stopped and greeted each and every one of them, addressing them by their respective names and maintaining eye contact as he did so.
The reception was a mixed bag: from indifference to shock; suspicion to delight. An entire array of facial expressions presented themselves. The one emotion that got to him, however, was the face of fear. He has seen that face many times, more than he liked to admit. Ryn could not tell if it was his eyes or the noble title that caused it, but every time someone regarded him with trepidation, his chest constricted. No matter what the reason was, his existence was a source of fear and he did not intend to torment them more than necessary. He inclined his head, bid them a good day, and slipped past the servants so that they did not feel obligated to stay.
"Look at all of these flowers! I look like a walking garden. On wheels! And this yellow, it’s hideous." Zarai's complaints could be heard.
"My Lady, you are a beautiful young lady. I am sure the princes will appreciate the time and effort your mother put into your outfit for their court." Sir Barrios sounded like he was reading off a script. Bored and uninterested with the talk of colors and dresses. The more she complained, the more he wished he had stayed back home in Puerto Vira. He’d be having his second breakfast around now.
"Who cares about the princes, what will the other ladies think?! This color really washes out all the color from my face.""I wouldn't necessarily say that that is a bad thing right now, my lady."Ryn’s dimmed smile brightened when he saw Luz, all in yellow and white.
“A good morning, Lady Lesdeman. You are looking as lovely as ever.” He walked closer to the two, nodding to Sir Barrios,
“And a good morning to you too, Sir Barrios. It’s nice to see you here! How have you been? It feels like ages since I last saw you.”"Oh!" Zarai smiled when she recognized the voice and pushed one of the wheels to turn her chair and face Fritz.
"Good morning, Count Hendrix," she had to remember that Sir Barrios was still standing next to her and had to keep the formalities up. He’d probably inform her mother of this little interaction. She’d have to pay him off, or win him over if he was going to be accompanying at all times.
"You flatter me, Count, but I am well aware of the state of my face."Behind her, Sir Barrios shifted in his spot and bowed to the Count.
"Well met, Your Excellency." His shoulders stiffened at the sight of the man, but his voice and face remained neutral otherwise. A toast covered in butter and grape jam sounded great right now, a bit of cheese and fruits on the side, Sir Barrios’s stomach protested, lucky for him neither of the nobles took notice.
Ryn waited to see if Lesdeman’s knight would provide more. His silence indicated he intended to keep his interactions with the count to a bare minimum. Ryn smiled politely and nodded with a certain understanding before turning to Luz.
“Nonsense. I hardly noticed from a distance.” He knelt down in front of her, adjusting their height difference so that she did not have to add a strained neck to the pile of injuries.
"Perfect, I will have Sir Barrios have everyone who wishes to talk to me to stay at a distance." Zarai watched him knelt down, but said nothing of the action. It wasn't necessary but she knew he had to keep appearances, especially with the knight silently watching like a hawk. She stole a glance at the knight, he looked concentrated. Probably wouldn’t want to miss a thing during their interaction.
Whoever did Luz’s makeup did their absolute best to conceal the reds, blues, and purples—and from a distance, they indeed succeeded. “Distance,” being the operative word. At a closer inspection, it became evident how battered Luz was and her makeup artist did not know the first thing about color correction. Ryn’s fingers fluttered over the side of her bruised eye. He sucked a breath in as he scrunched his face up,
“That’s quite the shiner… Does it still hurt, My Lady?”Zarai felt her chest tighten for a second and heat rise in her cheeks.
"No. Yes. Sometimes." She quickly said, glancing down briefly.
"It is nothing Your Excellency should worry about." Fritz had seen her bruised up before, patched her up too. One too many drinks and an asshole at the bar usually meant fists would fly by the end of the night. Nothing that she could handle.
“Rumor has it that you were injured from a wild round of fisticuffs during a late night excursion?” Come to think of it, Ryn had yet to hear Duchess Lesdeman’s version of events. Did she claim her daughter had been assaulted by some hooligan while in the presence of royalty? No, that would imply that the Danroses were incapable of protecting their esteemed guests in their own city. The last thing the Lesdemans would want is to ruin the two family’s relationship. Perhaps the Duchess played the old “she fell down/into the stairs/horse/furniture” card.
“Was the… opponent captured?” Given Luz’s usual bar etiquette, he had reason to be careful about calling them an assailant. Truth be told, Ryn was concerned whether Luz’s challenger received proper medical attention after their unquestionably bloody match.
"I..." Zarai didn't know if she should tell Fritz of the after-party. The queen clearly did not want word of it getting out. The Alidasht royals were already doubting their stay here, and it was only the first day. Zarai would rather avoid adding to an already delicate situation or be the reason the public knew of the whole thing.
"I can't remember much," she didn't want to lie to Fritz,
"Or anything important, actually."Not for the first time since Udo’s report Ryn questioned the nature of the spell and how powerful it was.
And at what cost?“Well! It is heartening to have an heir willing and capable of fighting her own battles.” Admittedly, Ryn realized a second too late how the Lesdemans might misconstrue his words as sarcasm or a threat, maybe both. Sarcasm, because of the myriad of underhanded sabotages they committed against Crosswinds Tradings and the Hendrixes throughout the years—at least Luz had the decency to personally confront a Hendrix without causing needless harm to innocent bystanders. A threat, because the Lesdemans were falsely advertising the heir of Puerto Vira as a meek, frail noblewoman, somebody who would never take part in unsavory activities such as late night parties, bar fights, and—worst of all—mingling with the common folk. What would happen if anyone, especially a Hendrix, said something to undermine her “selling point”? Ryn’s gaze flickered over to Sir Barrios. The knight looked at the count, lips twitching slightly as he shifted his weight from one foot to another but continued to stay silent. Too busy thinking about a second breakfast he would never have.
Zarai laughed for a second before she inhaled sharply and pressed a hand against her side. She wished she could laugh, a real belly laugh. Oh, if only Sir Barrios weren't here listening to their every word. She would have agreed with him and told him she did not need to pull strings or spread false rumors to deal with her problems. Although, throwing fists would not solve every single one of them. She wished they could. Lord Monet, her parents, her reputation, her whole name, and everything that came with it. Zarai wouldn't mind being alone.
She could become a hermit writing love poems about the beauty of women.
Ryn studied Luz’s face for a few long seconds. Her laugh looked and sounded constrained. Trapped in a cage; suffocated by this life.
This won’t do. The lobby was deserted save for the three, and his ears couldn’t pick up another soul in the vicinity. He assessed the chair as he hastily placed the gift basket to one side and leaned in close to Luz.
“My Lady!” he gasped,
“You mustn’t overexert yourself!” Ryn placed his hand on Luz’s upper arm in full view of Sir Borrios. While the knight was distracted, Ryn’s other hand tapped Luz’s leg—a signal, as not to alarm her for what he was about to do—before his arm brushed past her. He reached under the wheelchair and messed with the mechanism which allowed the wheels to spin properly.
“Do you require medical assistance?” He rubbed Luz’s arm as if it had the power to soothe the pain—physical or otherwise.
She almost laughed again at his reaction but was quick to remember that Sir Barrios was still in their presence. How many times had he not seen her behave in such a way unbefitting of a lady of her status? Instead, she decided to go along as she cried out again, holding onto her side with both hands now. Upon feeling the tap on her leg, she pulled it back to let Fritz mess with the chair. She bowed her head, hiding it from Sir Barrios so he would not see the laugh that threatened her lips.
Ripped from the delicious fantasy of freshly baked bread and the sweetest of jams, Sir Barrios finally rushed to her side to ensure the lady was okay. He stared at Count Hendrix's hand on her arm as if it had offended his mother but restrained himself from saying anything that might upset the man. The stories he had heard from the Duchess and the Duke were enough to deter the knight from making any comments or snide remarks toward any Hendrix.
"My Lady, should I fetch a physician?" He knelt next to the chair, eyes now trained on Zarai.
Zarai shook her head quickly.
"No, just..." She pressed her fingers into her side to distract her from the laughter.
"Could you please fetch a servant and ask for a glass of water, please?"Sir Barrios hesitated. It was clear that he did not want to leave her alone with the Count, but the small nod Lady Lesdeman gave him with that pained expression made the knight fold. He nodded, standing up and bowing to them both before quickly leaving the hall to find a servant.
"Well," Zarai sat up finally releasing the strained laughter.
"That was easy."“Too easy. Now I feel like I overdid it.” Ryn pointed at the wheelchair.
“Should I fix that? I was hoping it’d give us some time alone, but I obviously overestimated how immune Sir Borrios is to your charms.”"Fritz, no one can resist my charms." Zarai smirked, shimming her shoulders from side to side in a little dance.
"But please do fix it, and Sir Barrios doesn't know he can't trust me. Not yet anyway." She cleared her throat, looking at him with an easy smile.
"What are you doing here? Don't tell me you are here to offer your hand in marriage." She wiggled her eyebrows,
"Quick, bed, wed, behead."“‘Don’t tell me’?”. Ryn leaned in closer, while his hand reached back down to put the mechanism back into place, and whispered,
“How am I supposed to ask, then?” His eyebrows did a little jig of their own. The eyebrows stopped mid dance,
“Wait.” He pointed at her.
“You’re still mad at me for the whole Count Hendrix thing! Luz. If you want me dead, all you have to do is ask your mother and she’ll send the assassins within the next 3 to 5 business days. Tonight, if she wants to support local businesses.”She gasped at the accusation, one that would have had head-turning if the hall were not empty.
"Nonsense! Why would I send my mother or others to take care of my business?" She pressed a hand against her chest.
“Ah, but what is nepotism, but resource in another name?” Ryn readjusted himself into a squat.
“Actually… Marriage is one way of acquiring Erwynn and my family business legitimately, isn’t it? I can die from some ‘unfortunate’ and completely ‘unavoidable’ accident and the Lesdemans get it all. And, bonus, you’d be eligible for marriage again. Hmm… that’ll give you ample time to find your one true love—or at least have a good idea of who’ll be in your harem—, we get to spend quality time together without all this hiding, and I get to be a nightmare of a son-in-law for a few months. Cause it’d be kind of suspicious if I died any sooner. By the Creators, it’s brilliant! You’re a genius, Luz! Yes, I accept your proposal.” He offered his hand. Luz rolled her eyes and pressed her lips in a tight line, trying not to smile.
“Take me, now!” Ryn whispered again
“Pretend I jumped into your strong, capable, arms here and we’re rolling off into the metaphorical sunset. It might take a while by wheelchair, but if we elope now, I think we’d make it back to Puerto Vira by the end of next month and we can have our wedding ceremony once we get there.”"You read me like a book, Fritz. How could you have known of my super top-secret plan?! And here I thought I had fooled you." Zarai shook her head, the smile now slipping through.
"As much as I like the idea of you being the absolute worst son-in-law to my mother, I could not put you up to that such a horrible torture; you might start to beg me to kill you just to escape that!"Ryn smiled at that.
“Not the worst way to go, in my opinion.” He planted his elbows onto the armrest of the wheelchair and peered up at her with his clasped hands pressed against his lips.
“Seriously, how are you holding up?”She didn't like his sudden seriousness,
"Aside from the pain, I'm just dandy. Although, this chair could be a bit more comfortable. Don't think I'll stay in it much longer." She shrugged,
"Enough about me; how about you? Any promising endeavors or mysterious adventures?" She leaned in, arching an eyebrow.
"A secret budding romance with a royal from a far away kingdom that you’ve kept from you family?"Onyxes reflected the flash of unease. The aversion of eye contact, the tension in her muscles, the shift in her chair. She diverted the conversation.
“I can think of one. You might know her, actually. We’re planning to elope out of spite. It’s very romantic.” The playful tone lingered long enough to finish the sentence, dissipating as soon as he uttered the last word.
"Really? In that case, she sounds like a wonderful and lovely person." She could see it in his eyes already. She could feel pressure in her chest and her nose tingle. Zarai should have known it wouldn't have been easy to dodge the question.
"I bet she's hot too."He did not have to do this—especially if he intended to take advantage of her predicament. The underlying problem, the root of Luz’s desire to find someone better than Lord Monet to marry, was a sore subject matter she was trying hard not to touch, not to think about too long, even as it festered and ate her from the inside. No one but her can fix it, though. Try as others might, only she can save herself. Support was all they could offer.
“Luz, you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”Zarai couldn't meet his eyes, afraid she would break in the middle of the hall. If Sir Barrios walked in right now, he'd see tears in her eyes, blame Fritz for it, and claim he'd done something. Her mother would leap at the opportunity. Raise hell and cry to all the nobles that Count Hendrix must have done something horrible and nasty to make her cry. Back in Varian, most nobles knew not to take the things she would say to heart, but in Sorian, where rumors could ruin someone, was different.
"I know. I know." She shrugged a shoulder, unsure what to say. She didn't want to dump all of the bird's nest that were her thoughts onto him. Fritz was the head of his house and business, he already had enough on his plate. Not only that, but she didn't know how to start. Or where. How was she holding up? By a single minuscule thread, that is how she was holding up. The cloud of numbness from the Alidasht herbs only did so much to keep her thoughts away, and after last night's events, she wasn't sure if she'd spend the next weeks sober.
"I got this, Fritz. Nothing to worry about." Zarai assured him, but it felt more like she was trying to convince him.
"I'll charm a nice nobleman, young and relaxed. Ideally, someone who is very interested in some obscure and unnecessarily expensive hobby that he has no time to pay attention to his wife. Like those tiny ships in bottles." She flashed a quick smile,
"I've got all summer, and we are still on the first week! Plenty of men out there with weird hobbies."“And then what?”Silence.
“Let’s say you manage to find someone this summer—someone who your parents, your mother, approves of—what happens next?”“Are you suddenly free to do whatever you please? Live however you want without your mother trying to control you ever again?” Ryn hands cupped Luz’s face, a gesture meant to both be a comfort and to prevent her from completely turning her head away from him; from what he was saying to her.
Zarai wrapped her hands around his wrist but didn't pull them away from her face. The cold of his hands felt good against the warmth of her cheeks. They soothed the bruises and provided a sense of numbness she liked so much.
“Will Lady Zarai Lesdeman be able to be Luz openly and without guilt, shame, or fear as long as she sticks to this path her parents paved for her? Or will Luz forever be her dirty secret that she has to hide? And will she be happier for it?”Luz wasn't her dirty secret. Luz was just another mask she could put on, one that was still accepted. Was it a mask? Luz was still part of her, just another version of Lady Lesdeman.
“When will you be able to live your life for yourself? When will you be free from her chains?”"I'll never be free. Not from her or my family. Even after they are long gone, they will still linger." Their words had seeped deep into her skin and to her bones, echoing within with no escape. All the dismissive words, the backhanded insults, the degrading comments. All of it.
Zarai met his eyes, their darkness beckoning her like the frozen lake back home.
"Is it so wrong to accept my fate? To survive? I have the privilege to be here, to be dressed in such lavish dresses, and eat what I want when I want. How much more will she put me through after I marry? I will no longer belong to her."Depending on what she and the in-laws decide to prioritize, so much more…“If that makes you happy, then no, nothing’s wrong with that. But then why even bother with the Luz persona if you’re content with your ‘fate’? … Is it to see first hand how much common folk don’t have?” Ryn face and voice turned impassive.
“So that you can feel happier by comparison? ‘At least I don’t have to live like them’?”Ryn highly doubted this. If anything, he got the impression that Luz was envious of the commoners; a freedom she perceived them to possess. To get an honest response from her, however, he needed to shove the less appealing possibility into her face.
“Were you using Luz to convince yourself how much Lady Lesdeman’s life is better?” Ryn’s hands slowly withdrew from Luz’s/Lady Lesdeman’s face, but made no attempt to shake her hands from his wrists. He cast his eyes downward with a weak smile.
“I should probably warn you, that isn’t a healthy coping strategy.”"No." Her voice came out harsher than anticipated.
"You don't understand. It’s not that…" Her voice trailed off.
I can’t even attempt to if you don’t say it outloud Luz.“Or could Luz… maybe be something more than that? More than just…” His voice struggled to say the word,
“...a mask?” He looked up at the young woman, whoever she was now, imploring for an honest answer.
“Is she your safe haven, Zarai?” Not Luz. Not Lady Lesdeman. Zarai: the amalgamation of all the masks and roles.
"I—I don't know." Luz wasn’t a mask. Zarai or Lady Lesdeman weren’t masks. The more she thought that the more she did not believe it.
"I don't know what you want me to say. I'm not happy, you know this Fritz... If I had just been born a man I wouldn't be sitting here. Hell, I’d be married to some pretty noble lady with pretty eyes." Her mother would not hate her and her father would not so openly express his disappointment.
"Maybe I'd be happy then." She shrugged, clasping her hands tightly together and bowing her head low.
"I don't know, okay? I don’t know." She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Not of what mask she wore, or if there were any masks at all.
A certain sadness emanated from Ryn’s warm smile. He wrapped his arms around the lost woman.
“I think it’s not that you don’t know, I think it just hurts to think about it … Am I wrong? His hand caressed her head, fingers combing through her hair.
“Zarai, not thinking about it isn’t going to make your life any easier. People who genuinely believe they’re acting in your best interest will take your silence as consent, and people who think you no more than a resource will take advantage of your resignation.” Her carefully set hair unraveled in his hand with each brush.
The touch was gentle enough for her to not recoil back. It was soft, gentle, welcoming and warm. And suddenly, Zarai was five, sitting in front of her grandmother's study window tucked between her legs. The smell of rosemary and cinnamon hung heavy in the room and clung to her dress as delicate fingers brushed her golden locks.
Abuelita sang one of her old songs in her native tongue as she weaved Zarai's hair into a thick braid.
“Despite everything, I believe your parents love you too. Love you so… so much. They want you, your future family, your Duchy, to thrive even after they’re long gone. And they’ll do everything in their power to secure what they believe is the best outcome for you.” Even if it means destroying other people’s lives to obtain that future. “But because they’re your parents… I think they don’t quite understand or realize what they’re doing to you.” The hug tightened ever so slightly.
Her songs filled her mind so effortlessly. The violin, the
guitarron, and
vihuela all came together to create such a sweet melody. Each string tugged at her. Zarai leaned in closer to the touch, humming along with the rhythm as quietly as she could. Her grandmother would say the same. That everything she had done, she had done so for her son and for her. Zarai would do so with her children when she also grew older. It still didn't feel right.
“Zarai Luzero Lesdeman. Luz. You have every right to be happy, no matter who you are or aren’t. You’re the one who has to live your life.”Ryn pulled away just enough to level his eyes on her.
“Have the courage to follow your heart.”“And never forget, you’re not alone. Just reach out and someone will take your hand. You’re the only one who can save yourself, but it’s okay to ask for help.”Zarai nodded, wiping the corners of her eyes in an attempt to stop the forming pools of tears.
"I didn't know you were some kind of wise man." She sniffed, and a small but brief laughter emerged from her lips,
"Fuck." A few tears spilled over before she managed to catch her mid-cheek, leaving trails on her already shitty makeup.
Y si no puedo? What happens then? The least she could do was try.
"Fine. I'll ask for help." She took a deep breath, as deep as she could without it hurting, and reached for his hand.
"Will— oh fuck, this is hard." It took everything in her not to break into a sobbing mess in the middle of the hall. Growing up there had never been an adult she could fully lean on. Since she was small she had learned that good behavior was always rewarded, which is why she learned not to cry in front of her parents. She had learned to be independent and not because of her own volition.
"Will you help me? Please?"Ryn arched his eyebrows,
“‘Please’? Oh my, now I know you’re buttering me up. So. Be honest with me. Exactly how many assassins should I prepare tea for? I can… maybe host four at a time in the room I have. Any more than that and we’ll have to use one of the drawing rooms, but I’m not sure what the other guests would think of that.” He managed to maintain the straight-face for a few seconds before a familiar smile slowly returned.
"A lady always says please." Zarai sniffed again,
"Worry not, I will get us the biggest drawing room Sorian has to offer." She returned the smile and tried to catch any stray tears. She wanted to say that she felt lighter, happier somewhat, but her chest felt tight and... off. Zarai ignored it; instead, she concentrated on the lighter feeling. It was like a mini high!
His fingers gently wrapped around Luz’s extended hand and lifted it against his inclined forehead. A vow.
“Always,” he finally answered.
“Wherever I can.” Then he brought her hand to his lips to seal it.
She retrieved her hand slowly, her fingers brushing over the spot he had kissed.
"Thank you,"“And I will start helping by fixing your hair.” Ryn pulled back the other hand that had been stroking her hair, revealing the golden strands tangled around his fingers.
“I can’t promise it’ll look exactly as it did before, but what I can promise is that you’ll still look like a garden on wheels.” He gave her a good natured wink.
"A lot better than a mess on wheels." She tried to sit still.
Moving behind her, Ryn properly undid Luz’s hair, allowing it to cascade down her shoulders. He carefully combed her hair with man’s most versatile tool—hands—to regain some order before making quick work of the braids.
Pale fingers danced swiftly in effortless repetition, interlacing bits of freedom and good fortune into each lock; entangling them so that no one could easily take them away from her. Wavy, curled petals glitter in the light like diamond dust. They dazzled with the hope for a future, obtainable. If only she took that one courageous dive into the open sea where only the horizon is the limit.
Ryn took a step back in satisfaction when the front door swung open and Udo stepped inside in all his magnificent splendor. He did not expect to see the man in nothing less than two layers of clothes during their time in the Northern Kingdoms, but that did not mean it was an unpleasant surprise. He admired the open cotton shirt that only partially succeeded at concealing the islander’s sculpted frame or the form fitting pants that left little to the imagination. He followed Udo’s ocean eyes as they scanned the area, landed on Luz, then more specifically on her attire.
Her head snapped to the door when it was opened, her eyes showing the initial panic when she thought that Sir Barrios had walked in. However, there stood another person she did not expect to see here of all places.
"Udo?"“Onye agha Luz, does your dress have jaundice?”
“Udo!” Ryn covered Luz’s ears.
“Yellow is a beautiful color.”Zarai rolled her eyes, pulling his hands away from her ears.
"Yellow is beautiful but on other people."“You’re right Fritz, it really brings out the black and blue of her eyes and accentuates the subtlety of the mismatched face paint.” He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t look like she lost a brawl. Not at all.” He batted away every ridiculous notion he spewed.
"Lost?" Zarai looked more offended at that than the diss at her attire.
“You're sounding a little bit like Peter there, Udo. Has he finally rubbed off on you?” When Udo didn't counter with a retort, Ryn drew his eyebrows together. Usually the mention of the other's name came with snide remarks from both parties. Thus, the islander’s tranquil expression planted seeds of anxiety. There were only a handful of instances Udo made that face and that knowledge was all the nutrients the seeds needed to grow in the pit of Ryn's stomach.
“Thank Nnenne for delivering nerines across the world to save this poor unfortunate soul.” Nnenne’s devout shallowly bowed in Luz’s direction. He touched his forehead, his heart, and his lips in one fluid motion, praying in her stead.
Zarai smiled at Udo, bowing her head in gratitude. She'd need all the prayers and blessings to get her through the next hour, and the rest of the summer.
“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad.” Ryn pushed Luz’s wheelchair towards a mirror hanging on the wall.
“See? Floricomous!”Zarai was doubtful at the start but decided she'd give Fritz a chance to show his skill at styling hair. So when she saw the woven flowers in her hair, their shiny petals reflecting the light with every move like tiny diamonds, she whistled, clearly impressed.
"Woah, it looks so good," She turned her head from side to side, trying to see both sides of his work.
"and the flowers..." She smiled, touching one of them with light fingers,
"They're so pretty. You should open up a salon." She teased, leaning closer to the mirror for a better look.
“Why, thank you! You give me too much credit. I only braided pretty flowers I bought into your hair. The rest is all you.”"Of course, have you seen me?." She shot Fritz’s reflection a grin. The flowers were a beautiful shade of pink that faded into a pearly white that reminded her of a dress she used to own when she was younger. Of happier days where the only thing she had to worry about were the seating arrangement of her toys during tea time.
”Nerines, you said?” She’d have to find those seeds now and plant them in the greenhouse back home.
The islander stood behind the nobles, his reflection coming into view of the two, and nodded in answer to Luz’s question. “They aren’t native to the Northern Kingdoms. Their seeds traveled many seas to get here.” He stared down at the nerines in the young woman’s head, filled with a pining somewhere between sehnsucht and saudade—inconsolable yearning and melancholic longing for what wasn’t here. It wasn’t the flowers he desired, it was what they reminded him of that he wanted.
"They’re beautiful." Zarai glanced at Udo briefly,
"Thank you, I’ll preserve them." As a reminder of today.
Udo eyes shifted. Gazes, one ink black and the other ocean blue, crossed each other in the mirror. The seeds sprouted in alarming speed, its stems shot straight through his esophagus and branched out into Ryn’s mouth. The leaf emerged as a barely audible whisper,
“Udo?”. The owner of the name turned his head away from the mirror and waited. Heavy footsteps from someone with a soldier’s gait sounded from the distance. “If you want to fix up anything else, do it now.”
Ryn hesitated before checking Luz in the mirror.
“Well, I think you look perfect. What about you?”She nodded,
"Perfect." Motivation and newfound hope surged through her veins, filling her with energy for the upcoming court. The flowers almost seemed to glow in the reflection.
“Fritz.” Udo’s bass-baritone voice interrupted, “I need you to distract the knight for a bit.”
“May I ask why?”“There’s something I must discuss with Luz.” Udo added, “In private.”
“Oh?” The count leaned down as he made eye contact with Luz’s reflection, grinning,
“Already having suitors lining up! What a great start. I can vouch for Udo. He gets paid well, obviously he’s handsome, he’s loyal, he’s the Northen Kingdom’s equivalent of a paladin, he’s gorgeous, he’s totally down for an open marriage, he doesn’t have a boring hobby to preoccupy himself, but he’ll let you do whatever you want, and did I mention how good-looking he is?”"An open marriage? Oh, that sounds good," She arched an eyebrow at Udo, winking in his direction.
”soo gorgeous. A painting of him would look good in the parlor." She agreed.
“Afterwards, I need a moment of your time, Fritz.”
“Me? Did I do something?” Ryn looked up at the reflection of Udo.
“Is it okay if we talk as we walk? I have to be at the Viken—”“
Please.”
Ryn turned to face the corporeal Udo. Without missing a beat, he reached over to touch his friend’s shoulder and said,
“Of course.” Ryn then moved his hand to pat Luz on the shoulder.
“Best of luck. I’m rooting for you.” He retrieved the gift basket and made his way to the sound’s direction.
"Don’t mess too much with poor Sir Barrios." Zarai called out as Fritz left the hall.
Udo watched Fritz’s back as he left. “Onye agha Luz. I’ll keep this as short as possible and I’d appreciate it if you’d do the same, as much as I enjoy the jokes and banters. I have a confession to make, a warning for you, and possibly a request depending on your answer.” He tore his eyes away to pin them on Zarai. “Do you genuinely care for Fritz?”
She looked up at him, brows pulled together in a knot of confusion and wariness. She’d never seen him so serious before. The creases of his forehead didn’t look right on such a pretty face.
"I do." She searched his eyes but only found her own worried reflection.
"Udo, is he in some sort of trouble?" She leaned forward in her chair,
"The Crosswinds?"He chuckled. “‘In trouble’ doesn't even begin to describe the, as you’d say, deep sh*t he’s in. He’s doomed, Luz. They don’t say it out loud, but he knows it and so does his family. It’s why I followed him here. Because I thought—...” Udo tailed off and shook his head as if to remind himself that this wasn’t about him. “I must know how much you’d do for him.”
Doomed? Zarai’s heart sank upon hearing Udo’s words. She knew that he wouldn’t joke about this, not about Fritz. Was Peter here too? What kind of mess was he in? Enough to warrant Udo telling her this.
“Would you step in if he’s in danger?”
"Yes," Her answer came quick and without hesitation. Of course she would help him.
“Even if that danger was caused by people you know and maybe even love?”
"Who?" Her mind quickly raced to her parents. She knew they had been trying to sabotage Fritz’s family and trading company for a while now, and they had no plans to stop any time soon. What she wasn’t aware of were their more aggressive tactics.
"Who is it?"For a moment, Udo’s expression softened, the ocean in his eyes became warm and inviting as the tropical sea. “Akụkọ ihe mere eme,” he said in an unfamiliar tongue, “na ndị chọrọ ichebe ụgha ya.” Then the warmth left, leaving behind ice-cold waters.
“Yes or no.” Udo reiterated his question. “Even if that danger was caused by people you know and love, would you still step in to help Fritz?”
Zarai couldn’t make sense of his words, but the rapid emotions of his eyes sent a chill down her spine.
"Yes." She finally answered after a short pause. Standing to her feet, she stepped close to Udo with determined eyes. She’d do anything in her power to help him, to keep him safe, to make sure he was happy one way or another.
"I will step in to help him." She almost couldn’t hear her own words over the sound of her beating heart.
"Always."It continued to beat, loud and strong, as Udo studied Zarai, assessing the truth of her words. There was nothing else to hear but her own heart until a low hum gradually began to dull the beating drums and reverberated through her core. Her heart didn’t beat any less louder or stronger, but it was as if she had been submerged deep into the water. The sound of her heart became one with the ocean, and only when it did, did the heavy pounding in her chest subside. At the precipice of her senses, beyond the ocean’s heartbeat, she heard the distant songs of whales and felt the warm caress of the current. The waves retreated back to Udo.
He smiled the kind of smile that would’ve tasted bittersweet, “Daalụ.” Udo clenched his hand over his chest, “Thank you.”
Udo took a deep breath before composing himself. “First, my confession. I arrived earlier than when I walked in through that door. Although I didn’t mean to, I heard parts of your private conversation.” He inclined his head. “For this, I apologize.”
“But with that knowledge in mind, here’s my warning.” The man knelt down, “Fritz is a hypocrite of the highest order, a liar so adept that even he fools himself. He tells you to not carry your burden alone, to ask others for help, when he doesn’t practice what he preaches. Not where it matters… Not where it would make the most difference.” His other knee joined its twin and he folded them underneath himself. “He is so convinced that he has to do this alone and it’s why he will fail.”
What? Fail? Zarai watched Udo go to his knees, something she would have never anticipated or even imagine. But above all, his words, his warning, was what was the most confusing for her. Fritz. The man she had thought of when someone said, “have their shit together,” was just an illusion by his own design. And now, hearing all of this from Udo made her heart twist. Anger bubbled, but she forced it down until it subside. Not now.
The list of questions she had only continued to grow as Udo continued. The confusion on her face was apparent too, but she was trying her best to engrave every single one of Udo’s words in her mind, or she’d be damned if she forgot any of it.
“Which leads me to my request.” He looked up at Zarai. “Please help him. Save him from…” Udo tried to search for the right word, but couldn’t, either because there was none or there were too many. He huffed in defeat, but continued, “If worst comes to worst, drag him away from this place, this country… this continent. Even if he begs you not to, even if he kicks and screams, or hates you for the rest of your lives.” Udo placed his hands in front of him, then pressed his forehead against the floor. “Don’t allow him to throw away his life, I beg of you. Give him a chance to see another tomorrow, to be something other than the product of one family’s obsession with another.” His voice quavered, “Free him from his oath. Please, heed my first and final request as Udo to Zarai Luzero Lesdeman. Promise me. Biko… biko.”
"Udo—" Her mind quickly raced through hundreds of scenarios that would warrant this request from him. The Crosswinds going under was the first, with her parents being the reason. Next came assassination attempts, followed by unpaid debts, pirates, betrayal, and treason. The speed of her heart continued to accelerate the more she thought of things that would cause Udo to
beg her for help.
Despite her questions and growing curiosity, she realized something.
It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what kind of trouble Fritz was in; she would be there to help. He’d done much more for her than anyone had in such a short time. He was someone she cared for deeply, someone she trusted, and now, would force him away for his own good if need be.
"I promise," She swallowed down the whines of pain as she kneeled in front of Udo, her hands reaching for his.
"I promise you, Udo. No matter what he says or how much he hates me, I will take him as far away as I can. We both will. He’ll get over it, eventually, right?" She ushered him to raise his head and look at her,
"I promise you.""But we will help him. We’ll do it whether he wants it or not; he’ll have to get rid of us if he wishes us to stop." She smiled, hopeful.
The shade of sadness never left Udo, even as he smiled in return. He took both of Zarai’s hands into his and rocked them, an awkward handshake from someone who didn’t do it often. “I believe you will. Thank you.” Udo stared into Zarai’s eyes a little longer before he turned his head to see Fritz and Sir Barrios—who now had a flower poking out of his breast pocket and a half-eaten toast—emerge from the hall. Time was up. Carefully, Udo helped Zarai back into her wheelchair. “I’m glad to have met you, Onye agha Luz.” He touched his forehead, heart, and lips once again. “Ka anyị zute ọzọ na ndụ ọzọ.”
“Fortune favors the brave.” Udo’s last words to Zarai were, “Leave this world with as few regrets as possible, Onye agha. For your sake, if not for others.”
