Preparing for Chaos
Samantha Dalton
Chuck Simmons
It had been a few weeks since Raven Squad had returned to the base. Samantha was still healing but she was feeling more functional. She could move better. She was still undergoing some physical therapy to help prevent scar tissue from tightening up and messing up her range of motion. She was also having to recover some muscle conditioning. The skin grafts had sealed well. Samantha had some ugly burn scars. The red spidery veins that were Lichtenberg Scars were fading. The ugly bright red lines had faded away and were almost gone. Just the faintest hint of pink lines remained. Samantha had been struggling to come to terms with her experience on the blimp when she had been dying. She was consumed with the message they had given her.
There had been no word from intelligence about Rose’s activities. It was as if she had vanished into thin air. Everyone was so happy to have stopped the virus, it was like they forgot or dismissed Rose now that it had been neutralized. Samantha had looked into Rose’s eyes and feared for the world. That woman would absolutely try to destroy the world just so she could have the last word. She couldn’t help the driving anxiety that made her fear what Rose’s next move would be. It was driving her crazy that she had heard nothing about what Raven was doing to track her down. The leaders kept telling her that she needed to focus on getting better and not worry about it. How do you NOT worry about it when your dead parents and grandfather tell you that you are not allowed to join them yet in the afterlife because the world needs you?
Samantha’s ADHD had never been so bad. Samantha felt as if her skin was going to come off if she didn’t do something. She couldn’t sit still. Sophie had already yelled at her more than once for pushing her recovery and trying to move too fast. Sophie didn’t want her to be so physically active just yet. She wanted Samantha to build up to it. Samantha couldn’t help feeling that time was running out. So before she had been cleared by the good doctor, she began to run around the base to help regain her stamina. Then in true Skye fashion, she ignored the doctor and began adding in parkour moves. She pushed her body harder and harder. She had a driving need to be ready when the call came.
This morning she had Duke and Chuck running with her. Chuck’s long legs allowed him to keep up with her easily. Duke seemed to think it was a game as he followed Sam as she bounced off the side of buildings and jumped over fences. He barked excitedly as he followed her lead by jumping from one side of a building to the other to go up onto the roof and then back down again. She laughed as she realized Duke had followed her. She stopped for a moment as laughing took her breath away. She shook her head and praised Duke giving him a loving rub behind the ears. Samantha realized it was the first time she had laughed in a while. She had been so subdued and withdrawn. It was a wonder that other members of Raven Squad who knew her well hadn’t sought her out to see what was going on. She laid her forehead against Duke’s as she continued to pet him and scratch behind his ears.
Chuck had noticed Samantha had been different since the team had come back from the op on the blimp. He didn’t know her very well yet but he could see she was struggling. It didn’t take a genius to know that almost dying on the last op had impacted her. He had noticed the dark circles under her eyes that said she was not sleeping. He noticed that she had started running again. He knew she usually ran much farther. He figured it was her way of easing back into things. He had asked if he and Duke could keep her company on her runs. He had been passing sickbay when Sophie had chewed her out for overdoing it. She had torn one of her skin grafts open on the edge and Sophie had to close it again. Samantha had been serious after Japan but he had never seen her restless. She had always seemed to have energy and be in motion but it had always had a positive edge to it before. Now there was an almost desperate edge to it. He had asked if he and Duke could accompany her so that he could keep an eye on her. He was hoping she would open up to him. He could tell something was eating at her.
Chuck had stopped to see what was going on. It hadn’t surprised him that Duke had followed Samantha up onto the roof. What had surprised him was that Duke managed to work his way down the same way. That was a new trick for him. Chuck smiled as he saw Samantha kneeling with her forehead pressed to Duke’s. Duke was panting with his tongue lolling out. He gave a happy bark and began to lick Samantha’s face. Chuck couldn’t help but laugh as Samantha began to sputter and tell Duke she didn’t want dog kisses. Chuck let it go on a little longer before calling Duke to heel. He realized that was the first time he had heard Samantha laugh in days. Duke quickly came to Chuck’s side and sat down wagging his tail. He looked up at Chuck and barked as if he was telling him. Yep. See I made her laugh. I did good! Chuck shook his head chuckling as he looked over at Samantha who was pushing up onto her feet.
Chuck gave her a smile as she wiped doggy drool off her chin with her sleeve. “Everyone always thinks Duke is all cute and fluffy till he shows him teeth or gives some doggy affection. That was his way of saying thanks for playing with him.” He gave Samantha a smile. “Thanks for teaching him a new move. I don’t think I have seen him do that before.”
Samantha rose to her feet and gave Chuck a smile. “Duke is fun to have around. I was surprised that he followed me up onto the roof. I didn’t expect that.”
Chuck nodded at Duke. “He is an exceptional canine. I can tell he was having fun. He took chasing you as a form of play. I am not surprised that he learned how. He has always caught on to physical moves pretty quickly.”
Samantha nodded and brushed Duke across the ears once more. “He truly is a magnificent animal. I can see why you take him running with you. “
Chuck gave Samantha a warm look that became a little more serious. “Samantha I have noticed that you have been… struggling since you came back from the last op. Do you want to talk about it? I understand you had a close call. That would rock anyone’s confidence.”
Samantha gave Chuck a frustrated look tinged with guilt. She looked at Chuck’s earnest face and sighed. She looked away into the distance as she contemplated whether he would understand. She shrugged and began to pace, unable to stand still in one spot. She began to walk the path they had been taking on their run. Chuck and Duke walked at her side. Samantha began trying to explain her feelings. She knew he would keep dogging her till she spilled what was on her mind. She had seen him do it with other team members.
“Chuck I literally died. My heart stopped from the electricity. Skye had to give me CPR and shock my heart into beating again. While she was giving me CPR…”
She trailed off unsure whether she should trust Chuck with this. He had asked though. She could tell he wanted to help. She sighed in frustration and resignation. She suspected he wouldn’t let it go if she didn’t talk to him.
“When she was giving me CPR, I found myself in this peaceful place and found my parents and grandfather talking to me. They told me it was not my time to join them. They told me that I needed to save the world. That I had to come back.”
She stopped and looked Chuck in the eyes. “My mother died when I was very young. My father and adopted grandfather died in the terrorist attack at Angel Stadium. They are all dead Chuck. I miss them so much it hurts to breathe sometimes. It was peaceful and I was surrounded by people who loved me. I sensed if I stayed they would be with me forever. I could lay down all this pain and struggle. But they told me I couldn't and that I had to come back. We may have stopped the neurotoxin but Rose is still out there. We have no idea what she is planning, but I feel it deep in my gut Chuck. She is planning something else. It will probably be worse this time. That woman doesn’t care if the world burns. And we are here doing nothing!”
She was almost screaming in frustration now as tears ran down her face as she tried her best to contain these strong almost toxic emotions. She expected Chuck to call her crazy and report her as unstable to the leadership. She turned on her heel and took off running, trying to outrun how she was feeling. Maybe if she ran far enough and hard enough, she would sleep tonight. Maybe she would be so exhausted that she didn’t dream that her parents were calling to her and telling her that time was running out.
Chuck could hear the depth of pain and loss in her voice. He could almost feel the frustration that seemed to roll off her in waves. He was surprised by the depth of emotion that Samantha was sharing. She had always come across as a deep thinker. She only showed her deeper thoughts and feelings to a chosen few. She would laugh, joke, and smile but she always kept conversation light hearted and usually had to do with the mission. He was shocked that she told him everything. He hadn’t expected that. No wonder she was struggling. Who wouldn’t feel the pressure of the entire universe if your dead parents came and told you that you had to save the world and it wasn’t over yet after they had already neutralized the toxin.
He could see the moment pass in her eyes when she got embarrassed. Samantha took off like a shot. Damn she was fast! Duke barked and took off after her thinking their game was resuming. Chuck swore and took off after her. Luckily he had much longer legs. He caught up to her about a hundred yards away. She tried to pull away but Chuck easily overpowered her and pulled her into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her as she sobbed her heart out. Chuck sighed and just held her as the violent sobs wracked her body. It took some time before her emotional storm was finally spent. Chuck waited knowing that she wouldn’t be able to understand him until she calmed down. He understood her emotions were in complete control at the moment. That was dangerous for an active operative. He had seen others try to cope with trauma on their own. Men were the worst for pushing down and not talking about it. They want everyone to think they are okay. He was surprised that he didn’t think that was what was going on with Samantha. Chuck was patient and waited till the tears had stopped and she had finally gone from hiccuping sobs and unable to catch her breath to breathing calmly.
Samantha was embarrassed. She had been feeling like a grenade with the pin pulled ready to explode at any moment. At the moment she felt like an exhausted wet noodle, her body felt weak. She knew she sounded crazy and manic. She couldn’t stop the feeling that she needed to be doing something. She can’t believe she told Chuck of all people. Chuck was the steady reliable one in the team. Chuck was Mr. All American in giant form.
Chuck released Samantha’s body from his tight hug. He used a finger to gently tilt her head back so he could look down into her eyes. “Samantha, that is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. I accept that you had this experience and that it was very real for you. You are feeling compelled to act based on that experience. That makes sense. But Sam, you are doing what you need to be doing. You can’t save the world if you are edgy and exhausted and still recovering because you are pushing yourself too hard to heal right the first time. You know that Raven leadership is following up on all leads in regards to Rose’s whereabouts trying to find her.”
Samantha blinked in surprise. She had not expected that. She frowned in confusion and then sighed in frustration. “I know they are looking for her but they are not sharing any updates with us. I have this deep seated feeling of dread and like we are running out of time. I am having dreams where my parents are telling me time is running out. I feel like I need to do more.”
Chuck’s head tilted to one side as he thought about that. “Well you have to agree with me that we need you ready for action. You are not healing because you are pushing too fast. Yes?”
Samantha had to concede that he had a point. “I know you are right. It is hard to sit still though. I need something to do. Something to focus on.”
Chuck smiled as he had the perfect solution. “Well there is practically nothing left of my armor. I wonder if there was this amazingly talented person who could design and build me a new set?” Chuck raised an eyebrow at her.
Samantha gasped and jumped up and down in excitement with a big beautiful beaming smile on her face. She jumped up and kissed Chuck on the cheek before jumping down. “Chuck! That’s it! I need to be getting the team’s gear ready for our next mission.” She was so excited her hands were flapping in the air and she took off running back towards the base. “Thanks Chuck! I will see you later for fittings!”
Chuck watched her run off with an amused expression. He looked down at Duke who was turning his head from side to side as if he was trying to decide if he should take off after her. Chuck just gave him a hand sign and laughed as he and Duke started running again. He at least could finish getting his workout in. He would explain to Freya about getting kissed by Sam and the hug. He would hate for her to hear it from someone else and it gets misconstrued as anything other than him helping a teammate out.
Samantha had gone back to her room and showered and changed. She then went to go to find the quartermaster. She needed to repair her laptop. It had taken some damage from the electrical surge. It had been hardened against that kind of thing but it still damaged some of the components. Sam took the parts she needed back to her room and used her tools to repair her laptop. She then settled in to do some research. She needed to design new armor for some of her teammates. She needed to replace some weapons. She would need to redesign her armor once again. Skye needed something new as well. Ban had been a friendly and welcome presence that reminded her of her grandparents. She wanted to do something nice for him too.
Samantha was still recovering but there was modern machinery to take some of the physicality out of what she needed to do. She had done some digging on a new compound alloy that had a ceramic base with an metal alloy mixed into it that gave a safe, heat resistance, lightweight, very strong armor. The caveat was that the structural integrity of the ceramalloy preferred curves to sharp edges. The alloy was being considered as the plating for the next space shuttle. Sam liked the layered armor as it provided additional protection and environmental controls. She wanted to redesign the hard exoskeleton that provided the heavy armor protection. She wanted something stronger and lighter for that material. She also wanted something that wouldn’t be as conductive. She would have been alright with Rose’s trap if the electricity had not arced from the floor attracted to circuitry and the heavy armor exoskeleton on the surface of her armor. This new alloy was not very conductive and would be more resistant to electrical attacks. Samantha worked late into the night drawing and setting up schematics for new armor, new weapons, and new technology for the team. She fell asleep curled up around her laptop.
Sam didn’t wake up until almost noon the following day. She had finally slept through the night. Now that she was doing something necessary and constructive she felt better. She sighed and stretched. She went right back to work designing everything she wanted to make. Then she would go talk to the Blue Sword armor smiths and technicians to help her make it.
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