BrokenPromise

Crystal Tokyo aol room?

bssm-returns.livejournal.com/32717.html

??????

EDIT: it looks like their account was deleted.

RPGC#29 - The Village (Voting and feedback)

Alright, time to get up some reviews for some goats.

_{That’s “greatest of all times” for the youngunz.}

VIOLENCE:

+

I liked how the story was framed. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like all the random back and forth, but I think it did ramp up the tention as you went along. You knew something bad was going to happen, and you didn’t really know what it was. Sprinkling in details about Ed and Tammy as the ritual’s completion came closer was also a nice touch.

I think the story’s weakness was some of the weird word choices. In regards to word choice, the worst offender has to be where they “carried the limp Jewel down the isle.” I mean, it works, but there are better options. The unconscious woman, Jewel’s body, even just Jewel is less cumbersome than “the limp Jewel.”

THE SCREAM:

+

I really like character driven stories, so naturally I enjoyed the conversation between Gabe and Sarah. Aside from the sis thing, the dialog was mostly believable and interesting. Skeptic Gabe and “nah fam” Sarah.

I wasn’t sure what the story was building up to, but what we got was kind of “eh.” Horror is tricky, and it needs to be handled a lot differently in literature than it does a movie. Rather than go for swift scares, written horror need to build up a sense of dread that stays with the reader. There wasn’t any build up to ghost girl. She just kind of appeared and enslaved them.

PIETY:

+

There’s a fairly good build up in this one. I can’t articulate it at this hour, but the priest was given one of the best introductions come this contest. The dread built itself up over his entire introduction, like any good horror story should strive to do.

Which is why it’s a little sad to admit the last part of the story didn’t grab me. It was weird to have the perspective of the story go from this legend about a creepy priest to “me” entering his abode. Conceptually I like it, but I think it would have been less jarring to have some other character trying to learn what happened, only to get jumped by the creepy priest.

THE LIGHT THAT LEAVES NO DARKNESS:

+

I think what I liked about this one was that while it clearly wasn’t the spookiest story submitted, it was consistent. It did piled on intrigue and just kept building up more and more, higher and higher. We follow a nameless woman into a church, she talks to a ghost, and then she goes into the basement. There are bones, she commences a ritual, and the whole while we’re trying to figure out what she’s doing, who the voice actually is, etc. It might not have been conventional horror, but I feel like it did what it set out to do. There’s even some ambiguity as to whether the people in black coats were good people or not.

The only negative thing I could say about it is that I wish the story felt more complete. That it filled in some of the unknowns and tried to tell a proper story. But I’m hesitant to say that because I also feel like if I understood it all, it might not be as interesting. Enough was revealed for the reader to make their own opinions about the story.

THE GHOST IN THE HOUSE:

+

Did you write this, @Calle? I’d almost bet money that you did! Well, doesn’t matter who wrote it, here goes!

Much like the scream, this story features a bunch of characters with differing personalities. I liked how they were all characterized and OMG I love me some banter so that was cool. A frequently overlooked tool in horror is using lighthearted moments to lul the reader into a sense of security before pouring dread all over them.

This story didn’t go that route.

And I don’t even think it was trying to spook. Every chance it had to ramp up the tention, the ghost expert would explain away any danger. But my ability to enjoy a halloween story does not hinge on it’s ability to be spooky (unless that feels like the goal). Instead, I’m going to draw attention to how redundant some of the descriptors were for the dialog.

“Cards?” Ethan asked.

“You okay there, Ben?” Ethan asked

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked

“Are you seeing things again?” Ethan asked.

“What is a wandering spirit?” Mike asked.

“Have you seen that happen?” Mike asked as he put his cards down;

“Do you think we should investigate this village?” Mike asked.

“Anything we can do?” Mike asked.

“Didn’t that guy say something about unholy laughter in the church?” Ethan asked.

“Can you help her?” Mike asked.

There are only so many words in the English language to replace “said”, but this stood out to me. I don’t think it was the volume of times "asked" was used, but how close together some of these instances were.

Casual, really?

Totally forgot about the bot invasion. That makes a lot of sense though.

RPGC#29 - The Village (Voting and feedback)

*Slides into contest voting section.*

So I had started to write reviews for each and every one of these, when I left for dinner, came back, forgot what I was doing, and wiped them away with a stroke of my keyboard.

I 100% plan on writing reviews for everything I read, but it's late and I won't get a chance to do anything before the deadline. Hopefully this topic stays open long enough after the fact for me to rewrite my reviews.

This contest was closer than most. but my vote is for The Light That Leaves No Darkness. I did appreciate violence and ghost in the house, and I'll get more into that when I write my reviews later.

T H E R I V E R ᶠᵉᵃᵗ ᴱˣˡᵗ ˣ ᴮʳᵒᵏᵉⁿᴾʳᵒᵐˡˢᵉ

Kefira O'Connor
PDC HQ

Many dots, but they could only be connected in pairs. The resulting image was scattered and difficult to make out, but there was something there.

There didn’t appear to be any other connections between the victims at a glance. Various sexes and ages, even the method in which they were killed was erratic. This was not the work of a serial killer. At least, not your standard kind. This could have been the result of multiple assassinations, but if that was correct, she didn’t know why.

This wasn’t the type of case you could just think out in your arm chair. She’d need to see those case files. There was also the possibility that Lorelei was right and this would need an AIDA’s touch.

…

…

…

PDC HQ was constructed in biblical fashion. That is to say that most of the on duty police officers resided above ground, with their lord and savior Chief Lorelei closest to heaven. Most of HQ was underground though. Hell might have nine circles, but the PDC needed hundreds of floors to house all of its damned souls. The most dangerous offenders were locked up in the depths of the earth, with less dangerous sorts up above.

AD-4.M’s only sin was being an AIDA, so its holding cell was on B2.

There were a multitude of other structures inside HQ, such as food areas, hospitals, and other businesses, but Kefira omitted those from her biblical HQ analogy.

She knew she was getting close because she was starting to see medical officers milling about the halls. Some were wearing full body suits. Something akin to proximity suits with olive green colors and yellow visors. There was also a backpack device that contained wires and hoses that lead straight into the back of the head.

”Um, Heyyyyyyyyyyyy...” Kefira gave a slow wave with her hand. She would have given her traditional “sup nerds” that she liked to greet intellectual types with, but Kefira was feeling nervous. Would she need some sort of surgery for this “connection” to work? Unlike a lot of people, she had never gotten any kind of cybernetics before. The closest thing she had to surgery was having a few cavities filled. What was this going to be like. ”Kefira O'Connor, reporting for duty! I'm suppose to meet with a Peter… Bradbury here?” She looked at the name tags as the doctors turned to look at her.

Hey there, I'm new!

Hi new! I'm There!

Casual, really?

@FinalPalladium More data would be interesting. If my theory about the "boom of 2017" is correct, I would expect to see most of those RPS getting few posts, with the "posts per RP average" going up as time went on, until the boom faded. Knowing how many players joined during the boom and since would also be interesting information to have on hand. though it would be fascinating if all this pointed to something else entirely too.

I'd certainly be interested in looking at more statistics if you can dig them up.

Danganronpa: Tower of Carnage (Finished!)

@FamishedPants @Mateotis @Majoras End

A tense moment before the Collab's finale.

Casual, really?

We all like click bate titles, otherwise we wouldn't click on them.

I find the fact that people omit the casual title an interesting detail. However, I'm not sure I agree with your reasoning on why you don't see it so often. Two points to consider.

My Danganronpa RP was posted in the casual section and has the casual tag. I'm surprised that my RP was not sampled in the 2500 that you did. I posted in it recently, so it should have been in the first 100 or so pages. I will say that it's become very collab heavy, and the last post was made 24ish days ago, but I still think it should have been in the first 100 pages. The last OOC post was 4 days ago. Furthermore, I've randomly clicked on 5 RPs and all of them had the casual tag. There might be something wrong with your software.

RP in question: roleplayerguild.com/topics/157933-dan…

Secondly, there are a limited number of tags one can put on an RP. So if an RP is already in the casual section, scrapping the casual tag could have been done to make room for something more relevant.

NOW!

The stats on the rate in which RPs are created is an interesting one. Personally, I've been quite successful with my RP ventures as a GM and seldom look for something to join. I believe this trend is a combination of things. Firstly, I think everyone tries to start their own RP at first, and then most of those people decide it's too much work to promote an RP and join one instead. Interest Checks have gotten a lot more ambitious, and it's much harder to stand out without putting forth considerable effort. So while it may have to do with player density, it could also have to do with the ever changing RP meta. My danganronpa RP has been going for 4 years, and that's largely in part because it had a very strong start. I started months before Danganronpa V3 came to the west, and I was rewarded with a bounty of players stoked with interest. Had I started it today I do not believe many people would have bothered to join.

Good stuff, @FinalPalladium. C :

T H E R I V E R ᶠᵉᵃᵗ ᴱˣˡᵗ ˣ ᴮʳᵒᵏᵉⁿᴾʳᵒᵐˡˢᵉ

Kefira O'Connor
PDC HQ

It was one thing for someone to heap praise on you, and another thing entirely to be told that the PDC, the single most important police body in California, would be routing all available resources to her case in particular. Before her transfer, the chief there had constantly told Kefira that he recognized her skill, and that she would be a detective in no time. A transfer and nine years later, and it looked like it was actually going to happen. After Lorelei explained things in a bit more detail, Kefira gave a single nod. There would not be any more misunderstandings. She didn’t look it, but she was stoked for this.

Then “AD-4.M” came up on the screen in his birthday suit.

That’s one less guy that can get away with telling me he’s twelve inches. Kefira thought to herself.

”At least he looks like a human.” She didn’t have much luck with AIDA units in the past, and she would have protested if she thought that it would get her anywhere. But Lorelei was not one to make requests. She made demands. Everything from her partner to her assignment was an order and entirely non-negotiable.

”I must admit I haven’t heard much about the string of murders. The Skull Candy Cult didn’t spend much time watching television.” Kefira was referring to her last assignment. It was a group that painted their faces like they do in Mexico during the day of the dead. Oddly, none of the members were Latino. ”How many murders have there been, and what makes you think they are connected? I wouldn’t mind seeing all the case files.” She looked back at the monitor. ”Though perhaps I should meet with medical first.”