Avatar of Vlad Tepes

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Recent Statuses

1 yr ago
Current I'm done
1 like
1 yr ago
Yup... still nothing.
1 like
1 yr ago
Ugh.... this vampire is up waaay too early. *slams coffin lid*
2 likes
1 yr ago
Yup. Sometimes you come up with an amazing dish, and sometimes you are forever banned from making dinner ever again.
2 likes
1 yr ago
It would seem that I have likely been cursed, because my RP luck is just bumpkus at this point
3 likes

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Most Recent Posts

Of course, there's always the possibility your character may be jumped by a vampire who invaded a lower floor.




Eh, I might come up with something else.


@Zeroth@Eviledd1984@Kazemitsu

As soon as @shadowsaint007 posts their CS and it's approved, I'll start the OOC. Tug on your helmets, gents.
@shadowsaint007 Yeah, there was some buggery regarding that, but thankfully it's settled. Just use the CS provided in the tab. The flintlocks are mainly for balance purposes and fit better with the setting. Plus like Kazemitsu said, just carry multiple 😆. Though I admit that's gotta be heavy.
@shadowsaint007 Welcome! And yes we're still open. Pistols are acceptable as long as they are flintlock. Plus there's always room for a wisecracking rogue. Just post a CS and I'll give it a looksey
@Expendable *headdesk* I just now read that.... That's what I get for jumping the gun.
@ryku Ok, after much deliberation, I think I have my character finally. Hope this is a good one.



Beware!

You are entering the lair of an incredibly pissed-off vampire. You may be subject to the following:

-Vulgar language
-Unbridled Rage
-An over extensive use of ALL CAPS!!!
-More vulgar language
-References to the foodservice industry
-And more vulgar language

Did we mention the vulgar language part already? No? Well fuck it!


So anyway, I was nearly killed at work because some meth-head wanted a pizza AFTER CLOSING.

Here's how the buggery went down. I work at a gas station/pizza joint as a cook and sometimes as a cashier. It was after nine o'clock when we turned the ovens off and stopped serving pizza. Well, around 10:30, as I was finishing up the last of the dishes, this dude walked in, and he was FLYING on drugs! Like seriously, this guy was probably carrying a Walgreens' worth in his system. He came up to the register and started asking if we were still making food. I politely responded, "No sir, we stop serving food after nine o' clock."

That is when the fecal refuse collided with oscillating blades...in other words...SHIT HIT THE FAN! The guy literally lunged at me bug-eyed,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY PIZZAS?! WHERE DOES IT SAY YOU DON'T MAKE PIZZAS AFTER NINE?!"

I backed up, thinking at this point I had incensed the bastard into a murderous rage. How was I to tell he didn't have a gun or a knife on him?

Unfortunately, because my boss is a prick and an idiot, we don't have any signs saying we stop serving after nine. So, we have to just tell people. That works out about as well as trying to poke a bear with a toothpick and not expect to be plastered against the pines! I once again told the douche-pickle, "Sir, we stop serving pizzas after nine 'o clock. That is our rule. I am sorry for this inconvenience. If you want to order a pizza, you'll have to come back tomorrow at noon."

His response was, "FUCK YOU, FAT FUCKER! YOUR MENU IS STILL ON! NOW MAKE ME A PEPPERONI PIZZA!"

Truthfully, he was correct. Our menu board above the register was still on...because my dumbass manager forgot to turn it off at nine like she was supposed to. I hadn't realized it either because I was busy in the back cleaning up and prepping for the next day. Anywho...

Shit-heel resumed yelling at me, as if that was going to persuade me otherwise. I calmly explained that we had forgotten to turn the menu off and did so. That was when he fucking lunged at me again, "OH OH I SEE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING FATASS! YOU'RE MAKING THAT SHIT UP! SO NOW YOU TURN THE MENU OFF! HUH?! HUH?!" The prick of all pricks demanded I turn the menu back on....then uttered the dreaded words, "GO GET YOUR FUCKING MANAGER!"

Mind you, this whole time I was alone at the register. My manager, who we shall call Yesca out of grudging respect, was in the back office...halfway across the fucking store...doing "paperwork" watching netflix on her phone. I let out a brief sigh of anger, responding with, "Okay, sir, but I need you to calm down. If you escalate this any further, I will have to call the police." Mind you, I couldn't call the police, at least not until I called the boss first, which if you ask me *inhales*

IS THE MOST BULLSHIT ASININE RULE I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!! I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD!!


So, I go and get Yesca off her ass and drag her out to meet Captain Dickwad. Luckily, she was able to de-escalate the situation, but the guy was still treating us like a bunch of dumbkuffs. Instead, he just bought some burritos out of the deli...which he could have done in the first fucking place... Then the asshat crumbles them up and throws them...THROWS THEM on the ground outside.

Needless to say, I had already had enough of the dillhole and wanted to skin his face for another Halloween mask. Screw the cops! I was gonna take him out myself! Alas, I relented and had a cigarette before it was time to "officially" close down for the night and go home.

The moral of the story, kiddos: Don't ever work nights in a gas station...EVER! And if you do, pack heat, because your boss is liable to just throw you to the wolves with a steak taped to your ass.

Goodnight, and I'll see you in court!
At last! I...or Alucard for that matter...have made entry!





Castle Dracula - Observatory - Somewhere in Transylvania




"What a mess..." Alucard sighed as he surveyed the damage done to the observatory...his observatory now that he was the ruler of Castle Dracula, the prize...he supposed...for slaying the vampire in cold blood, a prospect that hadn't sat well with him ever since.

Nearly all of the castle was ransacked from their brutal battle. Not a single room was spared from the two as they tussled and smashed through every wall and every floor. Finally, the battle came to its bloody conclusion when Alucard...did the unthinkable...staking Dracula through the heart. In that brief moment, as the vampire...no...the man who was his father turned to dust, Alucard witnessed Dracula stumbling towards him, his arms outstretched. It was not in a threatening manner, at least that's what the dhampir assumed. Rather, it was as though the man was trying to embrace him one last time. Alucard recalled his last words,

"My boy... I'm killing our boy, Lisa... The greatest gift you have ever given me...and I'm killing him...
I must already be dead..."


Alucard shook the memories from his head and resumed his inspection.

The great mirror that stood in the middle of the grand, circular room, which Dracula used to peer out into the world beyond the cold, stone walls, was shattered into a million pieces. Shards laid upon the ground, glistening like stars amidst the warm glow of the early morning sun pouring through the gaping hole above. Alucard gingerly picked up one of the shards and clutched it in his bare hand. A small trickle of blood seeped from his palm and fell, the dhampir closing his golden eyes for a second.

Why...he thought to himself, surrounded by nothing but the grim silence of the castle. Why did it have to come to this? His father was dead, so was his mother, and now...the only two souls he had for companionship, Trevor and Sypha,...had left him. Alucard was all alone.

With a gruff exhale, he cast the shard away and turned swiftly on his heels, his long black cloak billowing behind him. Alas, as he made his first strides out of the room, something caught his attention. Alucard paused, slowly rotating his head to peek over his broad shoulder. The shard he had cast down in angst, still wet with his viscous blood, had a peculiar glow to it. Alucard sauntered back into the room and picked up the shard again, this time observing it curiously.

"Hmm?"

The shard began to glow brighter at his touch. "What the...?" Alucard's eyebrow raised. Before the dhampir could react, the room was engulfed in a blinding white flash. Alucard felt his body pulled away, as if through some kind of portal. Just as quickly as it happened, it was over. Alucard felt his feet land on solid ground. He looked up and beheld his new, unfamiliar surroundings.






Ruined Church - Whereabouts Unknown


"What is this place?" Alucard pondered as he scanned about. His vision, slightly blurry from the quick flash, gradually adjusted, funny, abstract shapes coming together in crystal clarity. A large effigy of a cross towered over his head, suspended to a crumbling stone wall. Grand panes of what were once beautiful stained glass windows were left smashed and barren. The great, vaulted ceiling above his head had a wide gash through it, rain pouring down in thick drops upon his head.

Flanking Alucard on both sides were rows of pews that were splintered, hymnals and tomes of holy text left tarnished on the ground, their leatherbound covers weathered with age, a few loose pages here and there fluttering about.

"Hmm...some sort of church." Alucard gathered from his observations. Normally, a church or any holy ground would spell death for one of vampiric blood. Alas, Alucard was not affected in the least by humans and their silly superstitions. Still, he was troubled. Somehow, that one solitary shard of his father's mirror transported him here. What sort of magic was this?

As he stepped forward, his foot sloshed in a puddle of liquid. At first, Alucard thought it was just from the rain pouring down overhead, but a familiar scent caught his nostrils and made him pause. He glanced at the floor. "Blood?" His brow furrowed, his hand instinctively reaching for the hilt of his sword. The dhampir cast a weary glance around. There were no bodies, nothing really to indicate a struggle except for the damage done to the inner sanctuary by something...or someone for that matter. Alucard continued to investigate. That's when he noticed a trail of blood leaving from the bottom of the pulpit and out the wide open door. "There must be a survivor." Alucard thought to himself before resting his hand at ease, though he still kept up his guard. This place was alien to him at best.

Following the blood trail, he stepped out into the open air. The skies above were a dull cast of dismal grays, fat drops of rain pouring down heavily in sheets. Thunder rumbled in the distance as lightning crashed overhead illuminating briefly the surrounding wilderness. Alucard slowly trod forward, keeping a vigilant eye out for danger. Should whoever attacked this church return, he would be ready to strike them down.

A chilling wind diced through his flesh and tore at his black cloak. Alucard pulled the drawstring tighter and resumed his steady pace. Then, he saw it.

Black clouds of smoke billowed over the treetops, like a blot of ink splashed against the drab canvas of the tumultuous sky. Alucard's nostrils tinged with yet another familiar odor, the acrid stench causing the dhampir to grimace. It was a smell...of death.

Without another thought, he sprung off his heels in a dead sprint, tearing through the forest with a speed that far outmatched any mortal being. Trees had passed him in blurring shapes ever so rapidly until he broke through to the other side, gazing out over the wide expanse of land and unto the ruined village. "Oh no!" Alucard halted in his tracks. Bodies lied strewn about the ground, some picked on by carrion crows. All the houses and buildings were demolished, still smoldering from fires that had since died out due to the rain. Blood was spattered across their marred surfaces and pooled at the feet of the dhampir as he strode carefully through the front gate. A bell in a nearby chapel's belfry tolled mournfully, amidst the cackles and caws of the swarming crows and the subtle rumble of thunder in the distance.

"What happened to this place?" Said Alucard aloud, his eyes taking in every grisly detail of the horror surrounding him. He was no stranger at all to the sight of death, yet the whole place gave Alucard an unsettling vibe. There were women and children among the dead, a wholesale slaughter. Nothing of the sort had indicated a battle. There were no weapons left lying around, no signs of combat. This...was a massacre. "I doubt anyone could have survived this."

"Hello? Is anyone here? Where am I?"

"What?!" Alucard tensed as soon as he heard the girl crying out. So someone did survive after all, he thought. He wasted no time racing through the village, yet being careful not to step on the corpses, following the girl's voice as it echoed through the dead air.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" He called. His hand reached for his sword. What if this was a trap set by the enemy? What if they were using one of the survivors to draw him in for an ambush? Alucard couldn't afford to let his guard down once, not in a strange...and seemingly unforgiving place such as this. Tightening his grip on the hilt, he prepared himself to draw at the slightest instance of danger. "Come forth now, and I won't cut you down where you stand!" He growled.

@VitaVitaAR
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