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14 days ago
Current @Cleveraptor: Gallery might be your best bet for prose samples, or possibly Roleplaying Discussion.
2 likes
15 days ago
@Estylwen: If it helps I once did the same, staying awake for a total of about 36 hours and managing to force-write a little over 30k words. I'd say around hour 22 was probably when the mania began.
1 like
15 days ago
PlayerTips: Awesome, your character did a cool thing! Now look at your co-PCs. Who HASN'T gotten to do a cool thing in a while? How could you subtly push them into the spotlight for a bit?
12 likes
21 days ago
A spirit appears in your room with a more successful-looking version of you: "--and THIS is what you would be!" "My God! Spare me these visions, I've learned my lesson!" Both immediately vanish.
2 likes
25 days ago
GMTips: Shrink your plots---No, even smaller than that! Don't let them pick from all the starting points on your epic sandbox map; 3 Plot Coupons are easier to collect than 7; keep stakes personal!
3 likes

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On CST time, United States. Typically busy most of the week and do most posting/replying on weekends.

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@PKMNB0YI think I got most of the changes we were aiming for? How is it now?


Roger roger, I expected some of these issues would pop up because of the assumptions I made.

@Zeroth: Right, form by form then.

Re: Mika:
  • This bit:<Snipped quote>Could probably be phrased a bit better. Yeah, that's how I'll put that. Could be phrased better.
  • Personality seems like it clashes with itself. A girl who tends towards teasing while also shouldering the burden of a clan's livelihood on her shoulders doesn't quite add up; if her wish is to raise it back up, you'd sort of expect her façade to reflect that to some extent, right? A personality more in line with that of a gyaru's would reflect similarly, and in this SPECIFIC case where first impressions matter a lot, letting that "true self" bleed through in either direction (at least for starters) doesn't make much sense to me. In my eyes, the character needs to pick a direction and commit to it. That sorta applies to the whole form, honestly; pick a direction and stick with it instead of going 50/50.
  • Onmyodo technique names: I humbly request you reconsider how these are named. For example, "Kekkai no Jutsu" literally translates to "Technique of Barriers" or "Barrier Technique" (or, if you're really stretching it, Barrier Style or something like that). This is very much a 'me' problem in this context, but, like... Yeah. I'll just leave it at that.
    As for the actual usage of onmyodo... See, logically onmyoji and all that stuff should exist in the world, but in my head Attunement had only really started to come into being around the late Heian in Japan—so, like, around the events of the Genpei War, more or less. Onmyodo as a technique would likely be a line of techniques derived from using ether, and so would not require a Contract to use to begin with. Of course, not all humans should be able to use those techniques to begin with; maybe it'd be apt to call it a certain 'type' of ether that can be manipulated without outside interference only in certain individuals? That's probably the best way to explain it.
  • Backstory... Hm. See, with the knowledge of how onmyodo should be, the story only half holds up... And, well, not just that, but also sort of doesn't match the personality (or, well, in my view, personalities) given?
    On one hand, we have the personality, which is (in my opinion) a clash of two personality types that don't make sense without context. On the other, we have the actual backstory, which... Is way more traumatic than I'd expect given the character's personality. You don't just recover from being backstabbed and seeing all your friends and family killed, much less to the point where you'd be able to tease and crack jokes with other people and be so open with them. You know, after a betrayal after doing exactly that?
    It just... Doesn't make sense. Then you have the other half of the personality to compare to: a desire to 'rebuild' and 'recover' the prestige of a clan. On the initial read, I assumed this to mean that they were 'in decline', not 'wiped out'. The former would make a lot more sense, especially in matters where pride and public perception are involved, but... That isn't really applicable in this context. You have a backstory that seeks vengeance after a devastating betrayal and a personality that makes it seem like the weight of her family rests on her shoulders AND an open enough personality to be affable with everyone, but... These three cannot all coexist within the same character.

  • Yeah I'll probably just remove that, sorry. When I use a picture as an "Appearance" I have trouble elucidating in text anything that feels significant enough to be worthwhile, so I usually go for fashion sense, body language, and facial expressions. That line was probably intended more along the lines of how she holds herself, but comes off suitably creepy now that I'm not staying up late writing it.
  • Some parts of the personality are meant to clash because how people act outwardly and how they are inside, to me, are often unaligned until the person comes to self-understanding and grows. But that's obviously a cop out, lol, so:

    • It says that she teases and cracks jokes with others, but it does not say that she trusts others. She "likes to find out what the buttons do," or in other words, she wants to see how people are going to react. It says that she pushes her way into others' "personal bubbles," but it never says she'll let them into hers. It's an intentional two-faced act--she doesn't trust you, so she'll pick at your methods, at who you are, at how you react to your surroundings. When she teases a person about their flaws, can they laugh it off with her, or will they get angry and hostile? Those reactions allow her to gauge the person from a safe distance, while always having the plausible deniability of "it's just a prank, bro!" She's confident enough to provoke people like this in the first place, because she's gotten used to having Kyozan looming over her shoulder at people.
    • The whiplash between "oh she's an Ojou whose family is in decline" to "wait, they're all dead!?" is intentional, and it's part of why I say I'm bad at figuring out what should be left to discover in-RP. She wouldn't be open about what happened to her family, and one of the assumptions I made was that Old-Style families like the Aomori Onmyoji wouldn't be as famous in the modern day as top-level Contractors from big-name companies. So other Player Characters meeting her would ideally have gotten that same impression, that she's just a girl from a prestigious name trying to live up to it--and then find out it's much darker than they realized, after they'd gotten to know her better and started to peel away the surface layers of how she acts and why.
    • Addressing whether or not she seems traumatized felt hard to do without actually playing out the character a bit. But again, that "whiplash" is intentional--a normal person can't go from "haha funny joke" to "I will find you, and I will kill you" at the drop of a hat. Without seeing just how far she goes for her training, or how she treats an enemy in battle, it's difficult to present the level of obsession with her vendetta. I tried to hint at it in how she feels like she has to be the one taking on a leadership role--like taking on the Family Head position--in that the idea of "I have to be the one, it's me," lines up with "I have to make up for what I did, it was my fault, I should've been the one to die that day, not them!" Going out of her way to protect people--whom, as previously mentioned, she would not trust on an interpersonal level--is meant to be an Emiya Shirou-level cope with being a powerless little girl who watched everyone she loved die. She can't let it happen again. And being forced to watch it happen again through RP--because undoubtedly a Grudge is gonna do some collateral damage, I'm sure--would've caused a crack in her shell to start exploring that trauma.
  • I figured giving the techniques "literally thing no jutsu" names would help reinforce the idea that they're the "fundamental" abilities, like how basic karate moves are "Straight Punch," and "Front Kick." Would you prefer more "creative" names, maybe with the implication that it's like "this is the Aomori-Ryu version of basic-thing-category techniques," or is the issue with the specific language used (-jutsu vs -do, Barrier vs Bounded Field, etc)?
  • I can do some rewrites based on what you've said about Onmyoji, again this was where I figured my assumptions would cause issue so that's no problem! I was under the impression that Attunement had only been a thing since the "modern" era, possibly Meiji or something at the earliest, so that's on me. I had figured that Onmyodo would use raw ether (or Ki?) instead of Attunement, which was why the Aomori clan had to "incorporate" Attuning techniques instead of having them from the get-go. The reason Aomori draws some of the energy for her techniques from the shared pool between her and Kyozan isn't because it's required for her to use the spells, but because it strengthens them and grants her more spiritual stamina. Because her training was cut off when she was 12, she didn't have as much opportunity to train her "ether reserves/efficiency" or whatever a "normal" Onmyoji would do to increase their power. Without sharing Kyozan's energy, she would require much more preparation and ritual to use many of her techniques, whereas by drawing on him to strengthen herself she can cast them in the midst of battle with "preparation" reduced to "strategy." If it helps, I tend to view RP Posts as "rpg turns," so when I say things like "it takes time to use" I mean that I'd spend a post where Mika whips out the ink brush or starts folding the origami crane, and then the next post would have her use the Ofuda Tags or the Shikigami. Without Kyozan, though, she'd have to do more stuff like "petitioning the local spirits," "gather power," "set up a territory," so on an so forth like a "proper" Onmyoji.

Re: Kyozan:
  • Uh... A 1000+ year old rakshasa? Let's start putting things into perspective.
    First, rakshasa bit. What bugs me more than anything with this section is that they're literally just described as 'oni, but better', which... Feels super off-putting to me? There are probably better ways to address the differences in this context without just going that route.
    And besides, it's not as if oni can't do all the things you say they can't. Oni who are smart, who can use magic, who can use more than just weapons of brute force... They existed and continue to exist in-universe. There's no reason they wouldn't, given the multitude of myths that state they can do just that. Being the traditional (and stereotypical) norm isn't quite right in the context of this world and the way it has developed, honestly speaking.
    Now, the age. '1000 years ago' translated into a more apparent year is approximately 1000AD (duh), which places us right around when Heian-era Japan was starting to decline. Now, a thousand years is a damn long time, obviously, but if we use that and reference a bit later in the form: <Snipped quote> things get a bit weird. Now, while this does put us at the start of Attunement within Japan (relatively speaking), relationships between human and youkai would have still been pretty poor for at least a few decades (if not centuries) more. Where am I going with this?
    Well, as stated in the OP, a lot of ether's needed for a youkai to really start ramping up in power. That's a lot of kills. Racking up that amount of kills in that timeframe (as you put 1000+ and not, say, 1100+, I'm estimating it to be sub-100 years of chaos) solo is insane and rather unfeasible unless he really went ham murdering people... Which, again, paints a much bigger target on his back and probably has him approaching, like, famous named youkai status—doubly so if the battle left a canyon in it's wake. If he's older than 1000, though, even if by a factor of 100-200 years, that definitely puts him on Big Three level, which... Yeah, no, I'm not allowing that, even if they are depowered to some extent.
  • Backstory. I get... Like, nothing reasonable here. Why was he sealed? Why does he have affection for the people who sealed him away? We get the destruction of the seal and the temple, but no meaningful reason behind the actions that he takes afterwards. A throwaway line about a promise or a vague allusion to watching generation upon generation of humans coming and going isn't enough to justify any of what I just mentioned. I don't have a clue as to why he was as strong as he was, or why he was designated to be hunted, or even why he took any of the actions that he did after popping out of the seal. I can assume, yes, but that assumption alone isn't enough to let me give the okay here. This is also assuming that the battle you allude to at the end of this section did not result in a complete rout, because if it did, there wouldn't be any 'vengeance' motivation in play for Mika.


That should sum up most of my thoughts on the forms.

I'll work on rewriting a lot of stuff for Kyozan too, since again it's my assumptions that caused the discrepancy. Here's what I've got on the point by point:
  • I based the similarity between Rakshasa and Oni on superficial appearances (both described as giants, having horns, etc) and also on the historical inspiration the latter seems to have drawn from the former. If the Oni of your setting, however, aren't the stereotypical ogre type then I'll definitely need to re-evaluate exactly what the differences between them are. A quick re-visit of my research shows that Rakshasa have more Vampire-like traits that Oni may not have--they drink blood, have to be invited into dwellings, and are stronger at night, especially during the new-moon. They're also said to be able to fly as well as cast the usual illusions and shapeshift, and I don't think Oni usually fly? Would it be okay to include that in a weakened form, like say just levitating the self or air-dashing over short distances, instead of up-up-and-away flight? As for why I went with "Oni but better," I wasn't sure how fluid demon speciation was so I went with a take that Oni were, in a sense, "descended" from Rakshasa and thus the older race would look down on the newer one. This could easily just be Kyozan's arrogance, rather than anything factual of the setting.
  • I'm a bit confused on the issue that starts with "the 1000 years ago." Is the issue that he didn't have long enough pre-Sealing to get to the level of power he supposedly had back then? Or that you're concerned that him being that powerful in the first place would put him too high up in the tiers of the setting?

    When I got the idea for the character, it was from one of those tumblr-prompts on a meme site which went along the lines of "An Ancient Evil has broken free of its seal--but finds that in the last 1000 years morals have degenerated so badly it's now not considered evil at all." I tried to twist this idea by asking myself "What does an Ancient Sealed Evil DO for a thousand years? Just sit there? Sleep?" So I answered my own question with the idea that, while Kyozan was sealed, he would eventually become a "fact of life" for the people who sealed him, and vice-versa. In the First Generation, their interactions would've been like "One day, wretched human, I will escape this prison! On that day, your entire bloodline will become my banquet!" "Foul demon, accept thy fate and disappear! So long as the Aomori remain, you shall never walk the earth again!" By the Third Generation, it might've become, "Answer me this, Human--why continue this farce? Why be bound to this land, sacrifice your life for the wishes of those who died in vain? If you're so confident in your seal, just leave me be!" "Because that would mean, one day, even if we were long gone, you would once again rampage. We may not be as long lived as you, but that allows us to look towards the future, and pave the way for our children--something your kind would never understand!"

    And by the generation of Aomori Yuuki, Mika's father, it's become "Blasted boy, what is that noise?! Are those metal birds back in the skies!?" "It's called a radio, Old Demon, and it's "rock music!" I snuck it out cause sitting here on Sealing Gate duty is boring as hell, no thanks to you!" Essentially, Kyozan was in jail long enough that he had nothing left to do but think, and those thoughts were influenced by the people he saw every day. He's an Ancient Evil that's developed Stockholm Syndrome bordering on actual rehabilitation.

    As for the Power Scaling, I didn't know what the "upper tiers" of your setting would be. Since it seems clear that the canyon feat is too close to the Big Three, I'll nerf that along with some of the details of his initial rampage. What would be an acceptable level of power that would require a Clan to take care of his seal afterwards, but without infringing on "why doesn't everyone know this legend" levels of infamy?
  • As for "what he did to get sealed," I had originally included a bit that started with "The Rakshasa came from across the ocean, having already bathed in the blood of many victims. Fleeing his homeland's own powerful demon-slayers, he found himself in Japan, a hostile invader to a land already in the midst of conflict between Youkai and Humanity..." The intent there was that he'd have fought other Youkai as well as Humans to carve out a territory for himself, and then past that it was just the usual "big scary demon lives on a mountain and comes down at night to eat people/steal maidens/get drunk" and so forth. So his body count might be high, but would've been stretched out over a long period of time, first in India, then moving across borders, then settling in Japan. But I took that part out for both length and because I wasn't sure how relevant his whole "journey" would be to the synopsis of "he came, he did a crime, he got sealed." I eventually figured just stating that he's a Rakshasa would be enough to get the idea across that he's an older, foreign demon who must have come from another country.
  • On the subject of his age contributing to the power scale, isn't it significant that the vast majority of that age is actually just from being preserved inside the seal? "Older Demons are Stronger," has to be based on the fact that they're spending all that time growing, fighting, feeding, and all that right? But if you take away the years that he was sealed, Kyozan's actual "life" spent doing those things probably tops out at two centuries or so. So the fact that he might be 1000-1200+ in age doesn't immediately put him on the same level as demons who have actually lived free for that same period of time, right? So would it be more reasonable that he originally only had the power level of a 200+ Years-Spent-Eating-People Youkai, or maybe 150+, and then over the time he was sealed it dwindled down further?
  • The battle indeed did not result in a complete route. Kyozan took a serious wound to protect Mika after dealing similarly serious damage to the attackers. The killers didn't have a contingency in place for this scenario since they expected Kyozan would immediately be on their side, and while they could've probably slain him doing so would've cost them more numbers for nothing. Kyozan had the priority of keeping Mika alive. So both sides made a last show of force to cover a retreat, and since then they haven't encountered each other directly. I left a lot of stuff about the hooded folks vague since I wanted to offer you the option of GMing some side-story for them or having their leader show up as a subordinate to your own Big Bad, whatever would work for you.


Would the rewrites and clarifications I've mentioned thus far fix things, or does more need to be done?
@PKMNB0Y Since the trend seems to be everyone making their own pairs instead of mix-and-matching, I'm going to withdraw Seiji and instead put forth two different characters. I made some assumptions with the history of the world and Youkai and such, so please let me know if I should alter anything.


@Zeroth: Still accepting, but let me first break the form's biggest issues down.

  • Personality. I personally feel like your system, set up as it is, has the potential to leave people more confused than if you had simply attempted to write something up piecemeal. The fact that not just I, but other people would have to go and read multiple separate documents over, then match things 1:1 in each to figure out a summary seems unnecessarily complex. Of course, this could just as well be a personal problem, but I still feel that this would be better served with a normal summary.
  • Reason to hire. Just because the character wants into the company doesn't mean he has the sufficient qualifications to get in. He brings nothing to the table the way he is now; no physical capabilities, no contract, and no tangible skills OUTSIDE of those that might have made him a reasonable hire beyond his connections.
    Which, honestly speaking, would be better put to use joining his father's company because of nepotism instead of chasing skirts. Leads me to my next point, though.
  • Motivation. Joining a company to find a hookup is a red flag, and I have no idea how you bullshit an interview with that as a primary motivation. Just staying.


Oh, and Grudges are the primary enemy in context of the RP, not Youkai. Well, for starters, at least. That's all I have to say on the matter for right now. And yeah, magic tied to weapon/contract presence.


Understood, thanks! I've reworked the personality section into a more in-depth write up that will hopefully be better. Also corrected the mixup with Grudges. I started to adjust/swap his skills/abilities as well, given that I started to feel like "abilities" should be things he developed naturally and skills should be actual things he learned how to do and practice, but that's kinda WIP given my next bit.

Regarding the reason to hire and his motivation, I want to make some changes and add on a bit that'll provide more clarity in his History, but I'm stuck in a few places. He IS a degenerate, but he's also suffering from ennui and self-sabotage in what I'm hoping will be an exploratory twist of the usual coming-of-age kind of character. Basically I wanted to hit that combination of "comic relief" and "oh wait this character's actually starting to get hype." So his motivation being to try and land a hot monstergirl was meant to be more of a "that's the part he'll actually TELL you," statement. Deep down, he actually does have solid ideals of virtue but he hasn't found any way that feels meaningful (to him, personally) to embody them. It WOULD be more rational for him to just join his father's company, or go to college for something generic, or be a salary-man. But his inner Chuunibyou can't accept that. He IS a coward, and yet the idea of becoming a cool demon magic person appeals to him because it presents a way to grow past that cowardice.

I was hoping that, with Takeda's company just getting off the ground, and with the career of Attuned sounding like a daily life-or-death struggle, that just the fact Seiji wants to sign up of his own free will to fight a bunch of soul-eating magical bullshit would be reason to take him on if only in the capacity of like, an intern or trainee at first who has to get a weapon/form a contract before he can do any actual field missions. If that wouldn't work, then that's probably where I'm stuck the most, unless other Youkai submissions are made and another player wants to partner up.

Attuned Weapons are described in the initial write-up in a way that makes me think they're very "one for life" kind of things--are there no "mass produced trash" variants for like, civil self defense or just-starting-out Attuned? Would there be any way that someone who's not already Attuned might find out "hey you have a lot of spiritual energy, you'd be super good at this life-threatening career?"

And, are there any skills that would make him valuable to a Grudge Hunter Company besides outright combat ability? Something like being tech savvy, having a Pokedex knowledge of Youkai, etc?
@PKMNB0Y I'd like to throw my hat in for this if you're still accepting. I just have a Human who would need a partner, although given...well, everything about him, he may end up having to use a weapon instead. If need be I could design a Youkai as well, but I guarantee it'd be double the amount of cringe (so fellow Players, pick your poison!).

Lemme know if anything should be fixed. I'm assuming that, at least at this time, Attuned can't have like, "spiritual energy" or psychic abilities if they're not contracted to a real Youkai?

+Edits made based on feedback, draft moved back to WIP status.







"Shixiong, take care of us!" Tai whirled around as a vein pulsed in his forehead.

"I ain't takin' care of nothin'! Why ya gotta ruin the mood!?" he snapped, before turning a cold shoulder on the girls. "Whatever!" With a stiffer, longer stride he hurried down the path--and of course, the two other students followed despite his protests.


No matter how he hurried, they kept following him. Maybe he could lose them--at least the little one--if he just sprinted full tilt, but he didn't feel like wasting his energy this early on. He kept quiet throughout their annoying chatter, even when Na Jiayi insisted on acting stupidly cute and trying to make him laugh. He had better things to do, dammit!

Soon they reached the "proper" entrance to the forest, a great gatehouse built to offer some meager ward against the beasts and dangers that lay within. Tai supposed if they'd taken any shortcut or the various game trails they could have entered the forest by other means, but better to have a starting point they could actually identify on the map--No! Better for him to have a starting point on the map! He was not going to play babysitter!

"Alright," Yan Huiyin started, turning to Feng Tai, "What's the game plan?" He huffed as he pushed open the gates with a grunt.

"Find a fruit before any of the other dummies! What, you want me to hold your hand?" His lilting voice of mockery trailed off as they walked down the path, which now turned from proper cobblestone to packed dirt. It didn't take long before grass and vines encroached upon it, eating away at the road. Soon their only guide would be their own sense of direction.

Perhaps if they had come in the light of day, the outer edge of the forest would have been quite pleasant. The greenery was lush, but trees had been cleared away from the gatehouse so the canopy remained thin. Flowers, without the bright sun overhead, had closed themselves up in tight bulbs. Nonetheless they displayed bright hues of every color and filled the meadow with pleasant smells. Soon tall grass and thick, broad leaf bushes gave way to roots and thickly layered detritus--leaves from last year's fall season that crunched over head, and fuzzy green moss that coated every rock and patch of dirt.

Thick wooden trunks trailed vines from their lower branches. The night dew dripped, wet and cold, down the back of their shirt collars more than once. The weighty silence of night was broken by their presence...a disturbance that seemed to ripple outward, and awakened glistening yellow eyes. By handfuls they rustled and growled, just out of sight--then, when Tai stomped on a dry branch or shoved a woody bough out of his way, they scattered. Once, a bird exploded in a cloud of dark feathers almost under Na Jiayi's foot, and the girl squealed. Tai immediately turned and grabbed her, slapping a hand over her mouth to muscle the noise. Whatever animal it had been seemed more terrified than the small girl--they could already hear it some distance away, crashing through the underbrush.

"Bah! Why'd you come out here in the first place?!" grumbled the elder brother as he sat her back on her feet and turned up his nose.

Several minutes' walk had carried them deeper, enough so that the white moonlight now struggled to push its dappled rays through the green mesh up above. Suddenly, Tai stopped--sudden enough that the two girls bumped into his tense shoulders and broad back like the unforgiving side of a brick wall.

He crouched down and began brushing at something in the dirt. It was an animal's footprint, though what type it seemed he had yet to figure out.

"...Toes press apart for boar, press together for deer? Yeah, that's right, isn't it?" he mumbled as he traced the shape with his finger. "...Very big..."

Whatever the creature was, it had dug a pit destructive enough that it appeared like a pothole in one of the King's roads not too far ahead of the trio. Rooting for food, Tai figured. Maybe...if they followed it, would it perhaps bring them to the Spiritual Heart Fruit? Did animals or Spirit Beasts eat them? The thought occurred to him that Huiyin might know. And just as he turned, a dark shape barreled out of the nearest bush.



The Crimson Razor Boar--a beast considered physically on-par with the Third Rank of Training Foundation Realm--stood five feet at its shoulder, and its massive body had to be over a thousand pounds of raw, terrible muscle. When it saw the three, it bellowed and shook its enormous head. Spittle steamed in the chill night air as it slobbered all over the grass. Then, it lowered its tusks and, with a single paw of the earth, charged at all three of them like an avalanche--!

Xincai, Henan

Finally, a Fight Scene!
@OwO@Cu Chulainn


"Well met again, Yang Family's Young Miss!" Hyun-Woo bowed after the scholar's introduction. "Please forgive my rudeness, for not giving you my name this whole time. This one is Yi Hyun-Woo, of Goryeo." As she left the inn to speak to the caravan's master, Hyun-Woo turned to Jin and bowed to him as well. "I would be glad to work with you, Sir Jin! If it were not for this perchance meeting, I feel I would not have found this opportunity. Let us meet again on the morrow!"

With things soon settled for the evening, the young man found himself alone in one of the inn's cheaper rooms as the moon began to rise in a darkening blue sky. His sword lay in the corner as he sat on the floor--for the room had little more than a bedding pallet and a cushion seat, lacking even a table or chairs. There was neither fireplace nor even a candle. But the lack of light did not bother Hyun-Woo; he had spent most of his life in the dark, after all. And he did not need to see for this particular task--or at least, not for this part of it.

To My Descendants - The Inheritance of the Azure Cloud, The Art of the Flashing Sword.

One book held yellowed pages of dry parchment, bound between two thin slats of wood with rusted iron rings. The other book, held open by Hyun-Woo's palm, instead held slips of bamboo sealed together to create flexible tablets. And in Hyun-Woo's other hand, a very small knife with a dyed deer-horn handle scraped and chiseled at the bamboo like a scholar's ink brush.

For as long as he could remember, an ache had persisted in his bones. It was not the same kind of debilitating, crippling pain that he experienced when he was still sickly and frail--rather, like a muscle that needed to be stretched or a joint that needed to be popped, the aches merely tugged at his awareness until he did something about them. He had to walk a certain way--keeping his steps light and balanced, his movements smooth. He had to use his cane as more than just a tool to haphazardly knock into things in his path--it had to be an extension of his arm. And he had never once questioned why he had these aches, until the night his legs had insisted he get up from the bed and walk towards a distant mountain.

The Azure Flash Sword soothed the aches like nothing else, and in a way it soothed Hyun-Woo's heart as well. But still, they arose from time to time, and he found himself happy for them. Now, he knew neither his fingers, nor his thoughts, could rest this night until he had completed this page. From ink, to carving--from the sight he had been blessed with, to the senses he knew he could rely on even if the heavens ever saw fit to blind him again. For that fear, too, still ate away at him in the moments where he found himself all alone, and far from home. But as his fingers traced each character, feeling the same words, the fear would ease.

From ink, to carving. From his mind to his body. From knowledge to memory, and from memory to instinct. His mouth moved silently as he allowed the teachings to flow through him, the same way he allowed Qi to traverse his Meridians.

Breathing and Walking is a key concept in Martial Arts of all kinds. Though it affects physical fitness, it is also a reflection of one's connection to the world. One's breath, in a sense, comes from the Heavens, and one's feet stand firmly upon the Earth. When one can Breathe and Walk properly, their entire being forms a Circuit to conduct the natural energy of Qi...

Scratch, scratch, scratch. Yi Hyun-Woo blew dust away from the channels in the soft wood, and traced it with his finger to be sure the characters were accurate. His eyes remained closed as his breathing stilled...

Step Movements, or Reduced Earth, are general techniques attained by Breathing and Walking. To cut down the distance between opponents in an instant is more than mere quickness. To disappear, and reappear in a blink as the Xian do requires that you are aware of the opponent...

And now Hyun-Woo did open his eyes, in order to turn the yellowed pages of the original Sage's tome. He knew exactly the page needed even without seeing it, for he had read the book more times than he could count. But his eyes sought the faded, painted image spread across two pages. The technique's title used similar characters to what he had just inscribed: Earthward Step.

Scritch, scritch, scritch. Qi entered his lungs with the breath, and parted like a hair passing over a freshly honed blade. The "positive" mass filled the Governing Vessel; the "negative" cloud flowed down the Conception Vessel. Up through the top of his skull, and down the back of his spine--down through the Middle Dantian into the Lower Dantian, and the sea of Qi within it waiting to be boiled, purified, like water in a furnace. The two Qi continued to circulate, like two stars orbiting the center of his being.

A deep thrum, like a tuning fork below the range of the human ear, hummed within his bones...


The Next Morning



Hyun-woo and Jin found themselves turned away at the gate. It was honestly to be expected. They were both, in all honesty, no-names who found themselves in possession of a placard denoting the job. They didn't exactly go through the recruitment process that everyone else did. Perhaps they could have gotten away with it if they had a strong reputation or connections, but neither did. As such, the guards outside of the escort agency seemed to try to shoo them away. It wasn't until a familiar voice called to them that things turned more favorably...

"Please forgive my rudeness, Young Miss." Hyun-Woo said, unusually prickly given what they'd seen of him so far. Holding his sword by the mouth of its scabbard, he folded his left palm over the handle and hilt in the same fashion a martial artist would salute with the palm and fist clasp. He bowed deep at the waist, before springing back up to look the caravan master in the eyes. "But I cannot allow myself such a boon! It is only right for this good sir to put the quality of his hires foremost--to achieve my goal non-meritoriously doesn't sit well in the stomach!" He bowed again, extending his arms in further salute. "Please allow me to demonstrate my skill, if it will assuage your worries about my qualifications!"

The caravan master looked from the white haired boy to the little scholar, then to the other white haired boy who already had two shoulder-loads of rice. With a roll of his eyes, he made a "tch!" sound and gestured to one of the other third-rate warriors accompanying the convoy.

"Make it quick." he told the man, before crossing his arms and glaring at Hyun-Woo. "If it turns out you stuck your hand too far down the gift horse's gullet, too bad."

"Thank you for the opportunity, sir!" Hyun-Woo thrust his sword into his belt for a moment, and happily picked up two more sacks of rice to deposit on the ever helpful Jin's shoulders. "I shall just be a moment, Sir Jin!"

"Confident runt." grumbled the man who'd been picked for the competition. He too unloaded the rice bags onto Jin--whose legs might be starting to shake at this point.

As the two warriors squared off, Hyun-Woo now holding his weapon loosely near his left hip, some of the others who had already loaded their cargo gathered to watch.

"Kid's got a sword. Even if he ain't much, is it fair?" muttered one.

"Dong Yu's an apostate monk." shrugged another. "Raised in Shaolin--I hear his Iron Body is pretty good for a third-rate, cause he used to do the performances. You know, the one where they bend a spear with their necks? A non-cultivator probably couldn't even draw blood."

"Thank you for teaching me, Senior!" Hyun-Woo called across to his opponent. "I am Yi Hyun-Woo of Goryeo--and my style is the Azure Cloud Flash Sword! I am ready."

"Dong Yu, Shaolinquan--although I decided I liked meat and girls more than Buddha." The well muscled young man, whose head was still bald, certainly resembled a disciple of the legendary monastary. He popped his neck from side to side and took his stance. "Never heard of Azure Cloud Flash Sword. But I'm ready when you are, runt."

The caravan master leaned against one of the carts and spat to one side. He chopped a lazy hand through the air.

"Begin!"

Neither moved. One second passed. Then two. Hyun-Woo's hand still hovered over the hilt of his blade--he wasn't going to draw yet? One might think he had lost his nerve...if it wasn't for the look in his eyes.

Three seconds passed. Dong Yu's back foot edged slightly forward. Hyun-Woo didn't react.

I can feel the wind on my skin, blowing from his direction. The sun felt warm on Hyun-Woo's back, but it wasn't high enough to be in Dong Yu's eyes or offer any other advantage. Whickering horses stomped their feet--a porter slammed a box down on a cart. The vibrations traveled through the hard packed dirt under their feet. One man in the crowd took a breath--Hyun-Woo didn't startle when the shouting and jeering began.

Thirty seconds had passed. Dong Yu's nostrils flared.

"If you're not--"

Hyun-Woo's breathing stopped. In one-tenth of one second, it happened. He had felt the wind blowing against him die. The vibrations through the earth had passed over his feet. The men in the crowd had stopped talking.

Positive and negative Qi came together at the bottom of the sole of his foot. His body went completely limp, and he fell towards the ground having tripped over nothing. With no muscle holding him upright, every ounce of his strength went into the bottom of his foot and his hand fell naturally onto his blade. Like a wet towel drapes over a clothes rod, his fingers wrapped around the grip. His foot did not so much provide his own speed, so much as it redirected the speed of gravity itself. And when the grounding circuit broke away from the earth, the "spark" leaped.

In three-tenths of one second, Dong Yu had fallen prey to his own body's nature, a fitting irony for an apostate monk. He had blinked.

The Azure Cloud Sword flashed.

Yi Hyun-Woo's eyes were wide open as he stared into his opponent's from below. A single drop of blood welled up from a paper-thin line across the former Shaolin's adam's apple. The white haired boy's other foot still resonated with a stomp so heavy it made his knee shake. Over his shoulder, Dong Yu could see the spot where the swordsman's movement had begun--and the deep half-print carved into the dirt, by all the weight focused on only the forward motion.

One second had passed.

"Oh, thank goodness I was able to stop!" Hyun-Woo stepped back from the his sparring partner and flourished his sword to clean it. When Dong Yu looked down, he saw that the place Hyun-Woo stomped had a sliding trail behind it--the boy had killed his own momentum so as not to kill his opponent.

"...You dropped below my line of sight at the moment you stepped in." The apostate lifted one trembling hand to his neck, and wiped the red smear. The tiny cut was already clotting, and only stung because of his own sweat.

"Yes, sir. That is the Earthward Step technique of Azure Cloud Flash Sword." Hyun-Woo flipped the blade in his grip and once more saluted with his left palm clasped over its hilt. "Have I proven satisfactory?" Dong Yu turned his head--very carefully--towards the caravan master.

The man rolled his eyes, and jabbed a thumb back towards the rice cart. Dong Yu clasped his own fists, and bowed deeper to Yi Hyun-Woo.

"Thanks for training with me, Junior Brother. I won't forget Azure Cloud Flash Sword anytime soon!" He grinned as he straightened, and clapped the younger boy on the back hard enough Yi Hyun-Woo coughed. "Alright, get to work! We gotta go!" As he walked away, the murmurs began amongst the onlookers again, and Dong Yu heaved a shaky sigh while rubbing his neck again.

Hyun-Woo sheathed his sword, and breathed out slowly as he turned back towards Yang Mingmei and Jin. But with every step he took towards them, he shook a little more--and his smile grew a little wider. Then, cheeks trembling...he pumped both fists in the air.

"I did it! Sir Jin, Young Miss, did you see?! I won my first ever duel in the Jianghu!"

Xincai, Henan

A Sign From...Some Guy



"Euuergh..?" A steady breathing rhythm changed, and the deep exhalation was tinged with the stink of alcohol. A wide surface displaced air as it was drawn back, a wooden chair creaked as weight changed.

Hyun-Woo took a half-step to one side, and the wooden tablet whiffed past his leaning tower of scrolls. Unfortunately, he couldn't say whether Jin would sense the placard coming. Regardless of further impacts, when the placard settled he could read the inscription. A supply wagon, en route to different sects within Henan?

@Cu Chulainn"Sir Jin, are you alright?" For that man to toss such a thing their way...He looked back at the drunkard, and from his slovenly state put the details together. How odd, for a martial artist to drink to such excess before a mission...unless this fellow had some dark sorrows, perhaps? Nonetheless, it seemed the Heavens were offering Yi Hyun-Woo an answer.

"Ah...Many thanks to you, sir!" said the white-haired swordsman with as much of a bow as he could manage to the inebriated warrior. "I shall certainly repay this kindness in the future!"

@OwOBy this time, surely the little scholar had secured her room and found a place to deposit the first armload of scrolls. When she returned for the ones Yi Hyun-Woo held, he would crouch to pick up the placard, and show it to her as well.

"Young Miss, this supply train seems to be visiting several sects in the area, and I plan to go with them to fulfill my own quest. But perhaps, if you can't afford escorts of your own, you could still secure passage with the driver?" He offered, thinking that it was the least he could do to offer some help. "I don't know if they'd go all the way to Sichuan, but perhaps you'd get closer than you are now with at least some measure of security?"





Tai slung the heavy canvas sack over his shoulder, and slipped out of his room with no one the wiser. The moon hung low yet in the sky, as most students went to their beds. Many had spent the afternoon absorbing their pills, or forming groups to attempt braving the forest in numbers. Tai wondered how many of them would turn on each other the first time they actually found a Spiritual Heart. Grouping up with others would no doubt ensure their safety, since even a strong Spirit Beast could be taken down with good teamwork, but this wasn’t just a preliminary test for the Exam–it was a contest, pure and simple, put there to weed out the unworthy.

Despite there being few people left awake at this hour, Tai still moved stealthily over the grounds. Between the shadows of the dormitories, and under outcroppings of rock high above the Outer Training Grounds, he crept low and set each step down with as little weight as possible. He only made some degree of noise when he clambered atop some storage crates, and from there hopped to the red-tiled roof of a long walkway. Now he moved more swiftly, confident that most people kept their eyes to the ground when they could barely see their feet in the dark.

But from up here, he could see more than he cared to see. Two people walked towards the gates–and their slow, deliberate pace spoke of an unknown resolve. They took up stances, and here he recognized the two girls from before!

”Did you hear?” said one student as they stuffed their face with rice at the evening meal. “That shrimp, Na Jiayi, says she’s going to get a Heart Fruit too!” The boys around the table all laughed, but Tai only growled when one of them bumped his shoulder. He kept shoveling food into his mouth, happy to take more while the others made their idiotic jokes. He would need fuel for tonight, enough to last him if he couldn’t find anything to eat after dawn.

“Ha! What stage of Training Foundation has she even achieved? She’s no bigger than a flea!”

“It won’t even be a Spirit Beast that kills her–a squirrel will gobble her up in one bite!”

“Ah, but brothers, we shouldn’t joke so. It’s true, Na Jiayi has no chance–so if anything, we ought to stop her.”

“Yeah yeah, I guess so. She’ll probably give up on her own when she actually sees the–o, oi! Feng-Shige , leave some for us!”

“Fack offh!” He had grabbed another bowl.


Tai knew before it started how the fight was going to end. As soon as Na Jiayi extended an arm, Yan Huiyin yanked it towards herself & twirled her into a light armlock. The elder sister maintained control, when she could have slammed her junior face first into the dirt. Yan Huiyin sighed, and her face looked like she had something troubling her. Tai, in the meantime, had crossed from one roof to another and now to the top of the gatehouse.

"A-Yan..." The girl, whose face was mere knuckle's length away from the ground, whined miserably. As Huiyin mercifully let her go, no doubt to finish scolding her and send her back to bed, the two girls straightened up–just in time for Tai to drop down behind them. His feet landed on the dirt with a hard thump, leaving twin impressions of his shoes as his knees bent. He didn’t seem troubled by the impact, and looked at them for only a moment before he walked between them.

“Listen to the seniors, squirt. Try again next year.” he said, throwing a harsh tone at Na Jiayi. She sniffled, rubbing her arm as she looked up at him. But her face became angry, and she swung her fist at empty air.

“I would, if there were any here! I, I don’t have time to listen to you!” Tai stopped–was she trying to throw his own words back at him? Slowly, he turned to her and narrowed his eyes. Na Jiayi flinched.

“...The strong survive. And the weak are eaten alive.” He growled at her. Palpable killing intent was evident on his face. “That’s the rule of the world, brat. Get used to it.” The small girl whimpered, and wiped her eyes with one sleeve.

“B-but, Jiayi wants to be strong too! Like, like A-Yan, and Xue-gege, and…and Tai-gege too!”

“Hmph. None of us are strong yet, fool.” Tai turned away from her, adjusted the weight of his carrybag, and shoved his other hand in his pocket. “But so long as you don’t die…then there’s nothing that says the weak can’t become strong.” He now looked at Yan Huiyin. “Listen to Xiao-Yan’s nagging for now. And just watch me.” The young man set his shoulders and began walking down the path. “I’ll show you how it’s done this time, so you can do it yourself someday!”

Na Jiayi sniffled again, but her expression changed as she watched her senior leave the two girls behind. Then she looked at Yan Huiyin.

“D-do…do you think Tai-gege is right? That I’m weak now?”

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