Well at least you deigned to grace me with a rebuttal this time so I can actually have a conversation with you on your viewpoints. That being said, I tire of this just as much as you do. I'm going to go as in-depth as I can with this post as to why your way of thinking is flawed. If, after this post, you still remain unconvinced, then there is nothing me or anyone else is ever going to be able to do to you to help you. You might as well never ask for help or complain about anything ever again at that point, because nothing anyone can say to you will allow you to step over the hurdles you face. Also, I don't want to get this any more off-topic than I have.
@Ammokkx
It didn't feel like you were "genuine" on that help attempt
You know what? You're right. I am aggressive and off-putting. And, in the status bar, I was especially set on slamming some good dunks as I shitpost on that thing more than I do actually talk to people. But over here, each of my posts have had advice and critique not hidden beneath a veneer of snark. If you cannot take
them as efforts to help you, then my words have no way to reach you to begin with. Even my "Then you have no reason to be in this thread" is an honest statement. As others have said, you are not acting like someone who wants help. You come across as wanting people to wallow in your pity. Again, I don't say this because I dislike you, I say this because it is what your words look like to other people. Make of it what you feel like making of it.
@Ammokkx
it sure felt like a attack on me and my stance on things from my viewpoint as you came off to me like anyone else, they didn't understand my viewpoint and came off rather rudely.
What it "feels" like to you isn't what it is. Death of the author may be a thing, but you're the only one that seems to share in the sentiment. No, I do understand your viewpoint. I may not be able to relate to a bunch of 1x1 posters ghosting me, of course, due to my penchant for group RPs... or can I?
Let me tell you, I was 13 at a time. 13 year old Ammokkx was on Tumblr, hosting an RP blog. Tumblr RPs are 1x1. I had a bunch of partners and, yes, I did get ghosted. It felt like I was being ignored. I tried so desperately hard to get people's attention but it seemed like nobody wanted to RP with me. At the time, I didn't understand why.
But in retrospect, I saw that I was insufferable to those around me. I powergame'd. My OC's were mary sues. I was a huge dick to people. I'm amazed I still have friends from that era at all, but the long and short is that I was very much the cause of my own downfall... in hindsight. I didn't see it at the time, and you do not seem to see it now. I understand how you feel, Reborn.
Everyone understands how you feel. Feel free to not believe us if you like. But know this; It is because we know how you feel that we are giving this advice in the hope that those feelings push you to be better than you are. Even if many have given up hope to that end.
I feel it is more of my partners than myself because of them always ghosting and poofing off on me without any sort of warning or heads up whatsoever.
This is a problem that you're far from the only person who faces it. In fact, if you ask around, I'm sure you can find some people with 1x1 blacklists of notorious ghosters. Hell, I have a semi-official blacklist for group RPers with a penchant for ghosting. Those people do exist, but if you cannot hold a single RP? If you cannot retain a single friend? Please, Reborn. Please tell me you don't genuinely believe that there must not at least be the tiniest thing wrong with your approach if everyone treats you the same way. If you can only draw that crowd. I refuse to believe you are this blind to a simple matter of fact.
There's a crude idiom for this that rings true nevertheless. "If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check underneath your soles."
I do feel like a target whenever I speak up on something that frustrates me as I expect I have to defend myself against a mob mentality and I got to fight against everyone else just to feel like I am getting through to people or even understood.
The reason it feels this way is because the thing you are complaining about, the very thing that sparked this thread,
is something I have called you out on in the past. You keep complaining about the same thing, and people keep telling you the same things. You then proceed to ignore what everyone tells you and do the thing you were previously doing, all the while complaining about the same subject again. You know the quote from Farcry 3? "Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" and all that? I feel it applies here. It is only a mob mentality because we have done this same song and dance time and again. If you go back and read your old threads, people were kind to you when you first asked. Even when you asked again, a third time, even in the post I called you out on! But then you keep doing it again, and again, and again.
At some point, we grew sick of hearing the same story. If you have nothing new to say, if you have no other insights... then, quite frankly, none of us want to hear it. I'm sorry. If you consider this to be mobbing, then the mob is never going to end. You choose to keep bringing this up, so we push back.
I don't see how what I am doing is wrong in retrospect when I look at it, I am doing my hardest to even get interest and any advice hasn't worked or stuck as effective or long as I expect you know?
I do know. I really do. While not the exact same, I have trouble retaining interests in my RPs. People just don't want to post after a while when I GM. I am desperately looking for the source of the issue, even when I can't find anything I am doing wrong. It is an ongoing struggle and it is a flaw I am all too aware of. It is why I have an aversion to GMing, it sucks! But I don't blame other people for it, you know? I don't turn it into a "me vs. them" issue. I never blame my players for losing interest, I look inside of myself and think "What could I have done better in hindsight? How could I apply this to my next idea going forward?"
I take huge breaks in between GMing for this very reason. It is, quite frankly, not fun to have something crash and burn, nor is it fun to have something which was once so lively be on life support at the end of its days. But I always had a part to play in that. You do too.
I feel like this “olive branch” could be like those other times and just filled with empty promises of things getting better for me when my luck and experience has shown me completely different. Like how am I supposed to trust the advice when the advice before failed?
But have you truly applied the advice? When we ask you to add colour or image, you reject it vehemently. When we say you aren't too pleasant of a person to talk to, you disagree and deny it. To me, at least, it doesn't look like you're actually applying any advice at all. But you don't have to take my word for it. Ask one of the nicer people to coach you, to run through the motions with you. But you have to understand that you will have to make changes to the way you do things. If they tell you "do this" then you do it, no questions asked. You don't push back. You don't fight it. The moment you fight it, you prove that you don't want to be helped.
I will not claim to know things better than you. But there are people that can claim as such. Listen to them.
Listen. Don't argue.
It's like I always have to fight for my voice and side to be even remotely heard I feel most times.
No, Reborn. We hear your voice. We understand your side. You have made it loud and clear. But nobody agrees with your perspective and we're not going to start any time soon. What we see out of you, the vast majority of us, runs counter to the narrative you try to spin. At that point you need to ask; if everyone in the world is crazy except for the one sane man, is the one sane man truly sane? In that same respect, if literally everybody tells you the opposite of what you tell yourself, is your perspective truly the right one? My answer, as you can guess, is no. Yours should be no too, but it is up to you to recognize that.
That's it. That's my final post for this thread, or at least, on the subject of your personal failures. Do with it as you wish. If you don't want to listen to what I have to say, then I have nothing I can say to you.
