Viktor had thought leaving the infirmary would make the psychological wound he suffered leave his psyche. That if he reached the comfort of his room, the nightmares might stop. The nightmares that depicted the members of his team attacking him while he helplessly endured. There was no pain, but it was… Viktor would never admit it was scary. Never.
Instead, he woke with beads of sweat, panting in fright in the middle of the night. This would surely pass, right?
Viktor had been cut, stabbed, and beaten in his short life, yet these dreams that plagued him unsettled him to the core. So much so that he kept his distance from the rest of the team. And in the middle of the night when Viktor suffered these nightmares, he’d leave not just his room, but the headquarters by himself in the middle of the night only to return an hour or so later.
Tonight was no exception. Viktor had returned from whatever thing he did after prematurely waking from his slumber. Within the vacant halls of Mount Justice, he kept his footsteps quiet as he could but…
Alisa waited on the couch in full darkness. Her head jerked up at the footsteps, however quiet they were. She had needed to have a talk with Viktor ever since the disaster that had been the Atlantis mission, but he had been avoiding her. Her emotions about him had been complicated lately. He had almost acted like a completely different person on the mission, and now he was acting even stranger. Yet Alisa was nothing if not persistent, and she
hated being ignored. So she did what any rational person would do- she had waited in the dark for two hours at 1 AM to wait for him to come back for a strange stroll in the night.
She stood quietly as he walked into the lobby, stepping into a spare bit of light.
“Hey. Do you have a second?” Anyone else might have jumped from Alisa’s sudden reveal but Viktor just froze in place while briefly looking like a deer in headlights.
“I…” His desire to avoid her was defeated by that look of persistence in her eyes.
“Sure. What is it, Alisa?” He didn’t feel right being in the dark and walked over to approach Alisa in the light.
Alisa turned on the light and sat back down on the sofa. She patted the spot next to her, motioning for Viktor to sit. She wasn’t sure where to start. With everything that had happened recently… her budding friendships with everyone felt fraught, most of all with Viktor and her. How was she supposed to talk to him about all this? She settled on
“Where were you?” “Alisa…” Viktor sighed as he moved to the sofa and plopped down beside her. It was obvious he wasn’t a fan of the question but it was Alisa asking it. If this were anyone else on the team, he might have told them it was none of their business and continued to his room. Viktor didn’t know how to feel about the others right now. The nightmares that plagued him were intense but he knew they were just in his head. The real issue was why they lingered so vividly and for so long after the mission. Perhaps what he saw was warranted based on his actions since joining the team? Did he deserve that pain from everyone?
“I just needed to do something. So, I ran the obstacle course. Thrice.” He slightly shrugged.
Upon closer inspection, his eyelids were a bit lower than normal and his palms had faint black marks from handling the giant tires on the course. Despite answering, Viktor found his answer inadequate. He was sure that his closest friend… Was she still? He was sure Alisa would want to know the reason why.
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping. It’ll pass, so no need to worry about me. What about you, Alisa? How are things?” He shifted the conversation to her. Sure, he was taking the attention off of himself but he also wondered how she was doing since they hadn’t spoken since returning from the last mission.
“You should sleep,” Alisa murmured, looking into Viktor’s eyes. He
did look tired. She felt bad for keeping him up even later, but she doubted that she’d be able to talk to him at any other time.
“I’m… I’m fine. I didn’t- the mission wasn’t as bad for me as everybody else. So.” It was true. Viktor had suffered immeasurable pain, Zach had been shot, Kassy had had her life fall apart, and everybody but her had suffered the effects of haunting illusions. So Alisa, unlike everybody else, had no reason to be upset.
“I am…” she struggled to say the next words, reluctant to engage in confrontation despite having set it up. Viktor didn’t need to be the most empathetic person on the team to realize she was bothered but her next words were unexpected.
“I’m mad at you,” she blurted out.
“About what happened in Atlantis.”“You’re mad at me… about what happened in Atlantis?” He repeated, staring at her.
“Why?” Viktor almost sounded uncaring but if he truly had been, he wouldn’t have even posed the question. It was just his awful delivery. A flash of Alisa punching him square in the face, caused him to suddenly wince and brace himself by grabbing the top of her thigh. His eyes were wide for a moment before he took a deep breath and pulled his hand back to his lap.
“Um.” Alisa had been about to call Viktor several unsavory names but was thrown off her rhythm. She certainly hadn’t expected him to do… that. A scarlet tinge came to her cheeks as she stared at him in bewilderment. The heat of his sweaty hand practically burned through her pajama pants before he snatched it away. Nope- she wasn’t going to ask. She didn’t want to know.
“Okay. Anyways,” she said,
“I’m mad at you because you acted like an asshole the entire time. It was like… it was like you were trying to piss everybody off on purpose! First the thing with the squid- I really don’t like being talked down to, by the way, and I was right- and how you spoke to Daphne about her powers, and what happened at the conference… it wasn’t your fault, but you’re not doing favors for yourself with the team. And it’s obvious how much you think you’re fucking team leader or something, but you’re not, and you won’t be if you keep acting like you have a massive stick up your ass.”There was a slight rise of Viktor's eyebrows as he was beginning to realize he was far from prepared for this, and Alisa wasn't even done yet.
“And your dedication to the “mission”? Total bullshit. Why did you have to tell Kassy you fired that shot when it was Bingley?” Alisa sighed.
“I told you you wouldn’t get anywhere with being a dick. You just don’t care about anyone outside of your objective.”Where there should have been an apologetic reply or a defensive retort, was only silence. Viktor clearly had no idea how to respond to Alisa being so upset with him. He could take people being upset with him but Alisa’s words struck much deeper.
“I…” He failed to reply.
“I am…” Again, but this time his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
Shit. Just talk! Viktor shut his eyes and took a deep breath in and a deep breath out, not much different than he had practiced with Kassy on the beach a few weeks back. There was no guarantee what he was doing would work but he almost felt like he was
drowning.
“You are right.” He finally opened his eyes.
“I thought what I was doing was right but… it doesn’t feel like it was, and I hate it.” His right fist balled into a tight fist.
“Almost everything I’ve been taught. Every call. Every approach… ‘As long as it ensures the mission’s success,’” Viktor said the last words as if they’d been programmed into him.
“Feelings, lives, and allies… friends don’t matter… but you make it…” He sighed as he didn’t understand why this was so difficult.
“It must be wrong. I am wrong.” Alisa hadn’t expected him to… agree. Her indignant face melted. Not into one of pity- she knew he’d hate that- but to one of regret. Maybe she’d been too harsh. Alisa was quiet for a moment, too, furrowing her brows.
“I know it’s hard to remember, and harder to change, but you’re not with HIVE anymore. We’re supposed to be a team. We need to be a team to achieve what they need us to. If we keep acting like this, someone’s going to get more hurt than they are now. I’m new to this whole hero thing too, but… to me, it seems like we need to work together. And we can’t work together if one person doesn’t look out for anybody else.” Her tone was much more gentle this time. She reached out to squeeze his hand but he took hers first. He trusted her. At least that’s what he thought he was feeling.
“The team,” he gave a single nod before raising an eyebrow.
“How does this sound then? As long as it ensures the team’s success… it matters.” Viktor was nodding as if repeating the words over and over in his head.
Alisa smiled.
“Much better. But let’s add well-being. As long as it ensures the team’s success and well-being, it matters.” “Hmm…” He pretended to be considering the addition before barely smirking.
“Of course. As long as it ensures the team’s wellbeing and success, it matters. Perfect,” a word he rarely used to describe anything.
“Alisa, I uh… I have one more thing.” Viktor let go of her hand and slowly got up from the sofa so he could face her standing up. He almost looked lost with the awkward expression on his face.
“I’m… sorry. For making you mad. And for… acting like an asshole… and everything else.” He raised his arms outward as he looked down at Alisa with an uncomfortable expression painted on his face.
“Apology accepted.” Alisa quirked her brows in confusion at what he did next. A laugh twitched on her lips.
“What are you doing with your arms there, Viktor?”“I’m…” There was actually a slight hint of red on his face. He could feel the unfamiliar heat rising in his cheeks.
“A hug.” He blurted out in a low voice.
“Oh!” Alisa blushed herself and then laughed.
“Okay!” She stood and hugged him back, tight. Weren’t hugs supposed to be tight?
“I hope you know this is weird for me too. But it’s nice.” “Yes!” He said while trying not to sound too uncomfortable. He tried to match her pressure with his own strength.
“It’s nice. And also... thank you, Alisa.” He winced a bit, he’d be fine. They both would. It was a moment they’d forever cherish.